Kämpfer:Volume 6 Chapter 4

Volume 6, Chapter 4  

    Like any other high school student, I carry a cell phone.  

    Perhaps it's because I bought a vintage model at a discount store, but it just doesn't work.

It doesn't just drain quickly, it beeps whenever I don't charge it. I'd get so angry I'd throw it

aside, and even when it had batteries, it'd still say somethi ng like, "No batteries! Change

them, you poor idiot!" So I used it less and less. This crap thing is even more useless than a

cordless phone.  

    For this reason, I never put batteries in it, and certainly never carry it with me. It's lost its

meaning as a phone, but there's nothing I can do about it; it's just become a decoration in

my room.  

    Just as I was putting the batteries in, thinking, "It's been so long, I might as well use it," a

call came in. Wow, it's been so long since I've heard that hilarious ringtone from a comedy

group.  

    The LCD screen displayed the words "Mishima Akane."  

    That's pretty rare. I gave her my number, but it quickly turned off. So, I never answered her

calls. She once complained, "Why is Natsuru -san always 'out of service'?" I'm so sorry. This is

all the fault of the battery and that big sister at the mall w ho dragged me into this.  

    I plugged in the charger and pressed the answer button. Now it's a landline, right?  

    "Hello?"  

    "Natsuru -san!"  

    It was indeed Akane's voice, but it was loud. Her usual voice was like a mosquito's buzz,

and she didn't seem to be in bulldog mode. Why?  

    "What, what's wrong?"  

    "I heard from Kondou Mikoto -san!"  

    What did she hear? Was she lying again?  

    "Did you have a date with the... the president?"  

    "No, no..."  

    "Kondou Mikoto -san said it was a date."  

    Isn't that what Kondou Mikoto -san would say? And not only that, Shizuku would say the

same. Am I the only one who's denying it? Why is it so cold today?  

    Shizuku tricked me into playing in the park and visiting the aquarium. I originally thought it

was just part of a ploy to lure out the enemy, Kämpfer, but it seems it's a ritual called

"YUEHUI." Personally, I was hoping to keep this nightmare, so rare in recent years, a secret. It

even reached Akane.  

    "Why...is this happening..."  

    "You ask me why? I don't know either."  

    "Don't you mind, Natsuru -san?"  

    Whether I did or not, I was miserable after that. I shattered my grasp, escaping the

clutches of Kondou Mikoto, who was charging at me, and wandered the night streets. Hoping

to heal my wounded heart, I entered the arcade. The moment I inserted my coin s, the

machine immediately malfunctioned. The staff I called, however, got into an argument with a

completely unrelated drunk. Angry and embarrassed, I gave my meager remaining money to

a fortuneteller for a palm reading. He sighed, "Ah!" and fell silent. What th e hell? I asked him

to give me my money back, but he even said, "Indeed, I can't accept this," before giving it to

me. When the world gets hostile, a commoner like me is helpless.  

    "Natsuru -kun, do you really like the president that much...?"  

    "I already told you I don't."  

    "I thought you only had eyes for Sakura Kaede..."  

    Just like what Kondou Mikoto said, Akane doesn't like Sakura Kaede and constantly displays

hostility towards her, but it seems she doesn't like Shizuku either. It can't be helped, or

maybe I feel the same way. I don't like Shizuku either, or rather, I hate her. That woman is a

demon; she deserves a special feature on NHK News. That girl treats me like a slave, always

dragging me here and there, only to cause trouble. The main thing is, she took my lips. Alas,

the blow is so severe I've buried it in my h eart and haven't told anyone. If I had a bit of

courage, I'd definitely rush to the law firm.  

    "Natsuru -kun...?"  

    Oh no, I've left Akane alone.  

    "Ah, sorry."  

    "Do you think I'm that insignificant in your eyes..."  

    "Sorry, sorry, that's not what I meant."  

    "That's too much."  

    I can almost picture Akane, her eyes moistening, on the other end of the radio wave.

Without her transformation, she's even weaker than a slug.  

    "No, I was just distracted."  

    "Were you thinking about the president..."  

    Yes, that's right, but it would be embarrassing to say it out loud.  

    "No, uh, I was thinking about how to make it up to you."  

    "Compensate..."  

    "Hmm..."  

    "Compensate me with what?"  

    Her voice became full of anticipation. "Compensate with what?"  

    She blurted out, but she hadn't thought of anything. Anyway, why should I make amends?

Even if I had to, it wouldn't be me, Shizuku. Hey, hey, hey, Shizuku Sangou, call me at

Mishima's house right now and apologize. The almighty Student Council preside nt should be

able to do it.  

    Akane was silent because she was waiting for me to say something. She had to say

something.  

    "That's it..."  

    "...Hmm."  

    "I'll give you a set of 2000 edition tapes of 'The Arabian Nights of Hikaru Ijuin's' that I've

been hiding. What do you think?"  

    This late -night radio show is a masterpiece. I got up late at night to record this tape

manually. Isn't it very touching to have it on tape? But Akane was obviously disappointed.  

    "Um, hey?"  

    "…"

    "Is there something that's not going well?"  

    "…"

    "Doesn't Akane have a tape recorder at home?"  

    That's possible. My family doesn't have one either. If the one is broken now, I won't be able

to listen to it. I have to quickly record the content on an MD or a hard drive.  

    "Uh… Akane?"  

    "…Enough."  

    The call was disconnected, and I shook the silent phone.  

    How could it be connected? It seems that Akane was angry, and the reason is indeed the

radio. She has no interest in such an interesting thing. Women's hearts are really like needles

in the sea.  

    "This one will be angry, right?"  

    It wasn't me who said this, but the doll on the table.  

    The tiger with the eyepatch was laughing with its innards exposed.  

    This is the most ridiculously funny series in the world, called the Entrails Animals. They're

the leftover merchandise from a toy manufacturer's massive shipments in a bid to get rich

quick. No matter how you think about it, it's a serious non -performi ng loan, but I heard there

were even blueprints for a theme park, leading to rumors that the company, including the

president, is being manipulated by aliens.  

    The guy at the table is a Seppuku Tiger. He's a subordinate of the Moderator and can

speak.  

    I glared at him.  

    "Were you listening?"  

    "I heard what you said, Natsuru."  

    "Then how did you know?"  

    "Not knowing, I imagined it. The person you were talking to was Miss Akane, right?"  

    Absolutely right. She's a doll, but she's pretty good, isn't she?  

    "Because of something you said, Natsuru."  

    "That's right. I don't know the reason."  

    "In that case, Miss Akane is wrong too."  

    "Is that so?"  

    "Expecting you, Natsuru, to understand women's hearts is inherently wrong."  

    The Seppuku Tiger laughed. Wow, this guy is so condescending even though he's just an

unsaleable doll.  

    But I agree about not understanding women's hearts. It's not just Akane, Shizuku and

Kondou Mikoto too. There's nothing more difficult to understand than them. The college

entrance exam system, despite all the criticism, still exists because it's so mu ch simpler than

a woman's heart. The only person I can understand is Sakura Kaede, and she's attracted to

me, a woman.  

    "Shouldn't I make some amends?"  

    "I wanted to, but she failed."  

    "That's true. So why not make your feelings clear to her?"  

    "Huh?"  

    "From what I've heard, Natsuru, you're already indecisive and surprisingly insensitive.

That's not right. Why don't you take the initiative?"  

    "What nonsense! Don't just assign insensitivity to me."  

    Besides, I always give my all to Sakura Kaede. You can ask me to do it as many times as you

want. It's the same principle as fishing, right?  

    This time, Seppuku Tiger smiled helplessly.  

    "Oh, I see. It's not so much insensitivity as it's a complete lack of awareness of the

surroundings, hahaha."  

    "I have a feeling you're referring to something."  

    "If you can sense I'm referring to something, then maybe it's not a big deal."  

    Damn, I don't know what this guy is talking about.  

    What about being insensitive or not noticing what's going on around me? I admit I'm

sometimes not very good at reading people's expressions, but I'm much better than

Higashida.  

    I know I should say something to Akane, I just don't know what.  

    I wanted to say it, but then the Seppuku Tiger stopped. Ah, sleep, remember, it's just a

doll, but it still needs sleep.  

    Never mind, I'll talk about the expression later, I muttered, unplugging my useless phone

from the charger.  

    Lately, my school life has been filled with homework. This isn't a metaphor or a literary

expression; it's really just the endless stream of homework. It seems like a warm gift from

the teachers to Natsuru, whose tardiness and absences have skyrocketed . In short, "Thank

goodness I don't have to tutor."  

    I received a mountain of homework today, too, but it's only for the boys' team, not the

girls'. I guess it's all thanks to that homeroom teacher who loves playing games and finds

classes annoying. Her lack of motivation is a blessing.  

    Even so, I still have to deal with this for the boys' team. I clutched my overweight practice

paper in despair. What should I do?  

    Normally, in a situation like this, I'd hire someone who's better than me, but there's no

suitable candidate. In the men's division, Higashida and I are about the same, and Hanzawa is

a bit worse. The same is true for my other friends.  

    So, should we go to the women's division? The person who's so outstanding, who's

nowhere near my level, is Shizuku. She got in with a staggering 100% score in all subjects.

She always takes first place on regular tests. I heard there were national mock  exams a while

ago, and she was even in the top three. Why is she at Seitetsu?  

    But meeting Shizuku is awkward, you know, something like that.  

    The same goes for Akane. After what happened over the phone, I still want to clear up the

misunderstanding. Her grades must be much better than mine.  

    I can't ignore the class monitor and vice -class monitor's grades. That leaves only Kondou

Mikoto. But he's a genius, and he's always saying things like, "Burning textbooks means the

exam will cover whatever's left." As a mortal, I find it hard to under stand.  

    That leaves only one person: Sakura Kaede.  

    I couldn't suppress my lewd smile. "Let Sakura Kaede teach me." She's also incredibly

intelligent, and her grades are definitely in the top ten in her grade. It's a sheer joy to have

such a talented woman teaching me. There's no need to beat around the  bush. I'm simply

overjoyed.  

    There are many who covet Sakura Kaede, but now I'm one step ahead. If it were someone I

didn't know, I'd probably be turned down, but we've been classmates since junior high, so

we're quite familiar with each other.  

    Of course, it's just wishful thinking now, a petty, shrewd hope.  

    But I know how to meet Sakura Kaede. Even without becoming a woman, it's possible.  

    After school, I walked straight toward somewhere.  

    My destination was the city library, that huge building. Passing through the double glass

doors, I arrived at the lobby, where I was greeted by air conditioning and a large circulation

counter.  

    Sakura Kaede actually comes to the library twice a month. Because they sell fashion

magazines, she comes every month to check for new information. Her appearance doesn't

quite give her away, but she's incredibly stingy... No, she's down -to-earth.  

    This information is not well known. I bought it from the Bishoujo Research Society through

Higashida. The other party said that it was quite expensive, but I am a special consultant

after all.  

    There is a sofa after crossing the hall, and magazines and books are placed in the back. I

walked over excitedly.  

    Sakura Kaede is here...ah.  

    "Not here..."  

    I muttered to myself. Sakura Kaede is nowhere to be seen. According to the information,

she usually comes in school uniform at this time. Higashida, he actually gave me false

information.  

    Well, it is possible that she is just late. I decided to wait for her here leisurely and sat on

the sofa.  

    I picked up the newspaper at hand. Normally, I would not even glance at it, but due to the

environment, I still flipped through it casually.  

    The slightly unfamiliar words on the low -quality paper were dancing.  

    "Hmm... the Finance Minister's meeting and the sharp rise in oil prices. The actions of the

Russian mafia and their growing influence in Parliament. The EU's proposals for addressing

environmental issues and the impact of biofuel dependence on the futu res market and the

increased environmental burden... Ah, I don't understand anything."  

    It's like asking me to translate Arabic; it's wrong to expect me to understand this. I'm not

good with words to begin with, but it's amazing that someone actually reads this.  

    Forget all that and watch sports. I understand the J. League's hottest players. This is better.  

    As I was looking at a photo of a bear -like player from Vegalta Sendai, a dark figure

appeared in front of me.  

    "...Natsuru -san?"  

    I thought it was Sakura Kaede, so I looked up, but I was wrong.  

    The girl in the girls' uniform and glasses was Akane.  

    Akane and I moved to the second floor. It didn't matter down there, but I didn't notice.  

    As we moved, I asked, "Have you seen Sakura Kaede?" and she actually answered.  

    "...I saw it."  

    "Hey, where is it?"  

    "I've already left...because today is the release day of Jump."  

    Wow, she went to buy a shonen manga magazine. Shizuku also said, "Kaede likes Jump,"

but I'm a little late.  

    "Well...then there's no point in me staying. Why are you in the library, Akane?"  

    "It's my job as a library committee member, and...I want to read some books."  

    As expected, like bees drawn to nectar, people who love books are drawn to libraries and

bookstores. As I've asked before, Akane's library card number at this library is quite high,

having been using it for a few years.  

    "Why, Natsuru -san..."  

    "I want to study,"  

    she seemed quite surprised. To avoid misunderstanding, I explained.  

    "Ah, no. I don't have tutoring, but I got a lot of homework, and I wanted to ask for help on

something I didn't understand."  

    "...Um, in that case,"  

    Akane said softly, lowering her head.  

    "Hmm?"  

    "I, can...help you..."  

    "Help me...?"  

    That's what she said just now, isn't it?  

    Akane looked away.  

    "If you're truly troubled, Natsuru -kun, I can help you... But people who date the president

are supposed to be happy, and homework shouldn't be a big deal..."  

    Hmm, is it the aftermath of the phone call? It seems I'm still fuming.  

    "That wasn't a date with the president, I was tricked..."  

    "A date is a date."  

    Sorry, this is something I absolutely want to deny.  

    It's a bit awkward to say this, but Shizuku keeps toying with me one -sidedly. I'm tossed

around in her hands as she pleases. If I don't insist on denying it, she'll cling to me like a

spider.  

    "Really..."  

    "Really, really!" I'm desperately trying to figure it out.  

    "It's true..."  

    Akane seemed relieved. I was relieved too. Girls' hearts are truly hard to understand.  

    She looked away, then returned.  

    "Then I'll help you."  

    "Ah, you don't have to go that far."  

    Reassured, I politely declined. It wasn't about Akane; my target was Sakura Kaede.  

    "Sorry to bother you."  

    "How could I... not bother you?"  

    she suddenly retorted. It was a complete reversal of her attitude from before. It startled

me.

    "As long as it's to help Natsuru -san, I'm happy to do it."  

    "No, no, I was planning to ask Sakura Kaede."  

    "No, we can't leave such an important matter to Sakura Kaede."  

    Really reliable. But I still want Sakura Kaede to teach me. That's why I came here in the first

place.  

    "Uh... but..."  

    "I-I can't..."  

    "That's not what I mean."  

    "Then please... give it to me."  

    "... Yeah, please."  

    Akane insisted so strongly that I finally agreed.  

    We sat in a window seat on the second floor. Come to think of it, I've been here once

before, and the seats are a little different.  

    I pulled the worksheets from my bag and placed them on the table. Akane's eyes widened.  

    "...That's quite a lot."  

    "It seems the teachers really like me."  

    Personally, I hoped they'd ignore me.  

    Akane glanced at the worksheets and sorted them by subject.  

    "Natsuru -san... which are your weakest subjects?"  

    "All of them, right?"  

    "...Please specify."  

    "English, Chinese, and social studies."  

    It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say almost all of them. My grades were about average in

the first grade, but recently, thanks to the Kämpfer method, they've been declining.  

    "Then let's start reviewing,"  

    she quickly began.  

    Unusually, she didn't let me do the exercises first, but instead read through them herself.

Then, based on that, she asked, "Do you know how to do this?" I answered.  

    Just as I was thinking, "What a strange teaching method,"  

    she said,  

    "It's better for the teacher to understand everything."  

    "It's the same as a tutor reviewing what they're going to teach beforehand."  

    "Oh, that sounds like experience."  

    "I taught my cousin who was in junior high school."  

    It was like that. Being a tutor for a junior high student in her second year of high school

was truly remarkable.  

    She handed me the worksheet she'd reviewed.  

    "Then please do these first. I've circled the key points."  

    I did as she said. I grabbed my mechanical pencil and started solving the problems.  

    Surprisingly, I solved them faster than usual. It was especially noticeable with English; I

could translate fluently just by paying attention to Akane's marks. The same thing happened

with classical Chinese. Japanese history is a rote memorization subj ect, so I couldn't do that,

but it was truly effective. It's rude to say "accidental," but she truly has a hidden talent.  

    I stopped what I was doing and looked at Akane, "Wow!" Oh my god, you can't judge a

person by appearances. Honestly, I thought Akane just loved books and couldn't put them to

good use, but I had no idea she had such a special talent. She might be able to make a living

as a prep school teacher.  

    I'm often told, "I thought you were more serious." "I thought you were one of those

frivolous people who can't be frivolous." "I thought you were someone who kicked a ball

while walking the dog and broke a stranger's window, and when you apologized, yo u found

the house was nearly exploding from a gas leak, and you were thanked instead —that's the

kind of person." The last one, while long, was pretty meaningless.  

    "That's it..."  

    She handed me the last worksheet.  

    "They're all basic stuff, I don't think they'll be difficult. If you're still stuck, please ask me."  

    "Thank you, thank you."  

    I choked for some reason. Wow, Akane looked so dazzling —she smiled, probably happy to

be able to help someone. She's amazing, second only to Sakura Kaede in kindness.  

    So, I focused on the work at hand and casually glanced up.  

    "Akane, you don't have to stay with me."  

    "Hey..."  

    "Is there anything you need?"  

    "Yes, but if I can help Natsuru -san."  

    "Sorry to bother you."  

    "No, I'm just glad I didn't bother Natsuru -san..."  

    "No, no, no, you've been such a big help, how could I possibly bother you?"  

    It seemed like the process was going smoothly, all thanks to her. This was a heartfelt thank

you.  

    Akane thought for a moment.  

    "Can I get a book?"  

    "Yeah? Sure."  

    "To avoid disturbing you, I'll read while I wait for you,"  

    she said, heading for the bookshelf.  

    It wasn't long before she returned, holding a hardcover book. Perhaps she had already

decided.  

    I flipped open the book on the table and immediately immersed myself in it.  

    Time slipped by as I finished my practice papers while observing Akane's reading. It was a

history book. I wasn't entirely sure, but it was probably history. The title seemed to be about

the Habsburg dynasty of the 18th century. I felt like I'd heard o f Habsburg somewhere

before. Was it a snack brand?  

    Next to it was a book on Greek mythology. Do you like history and mythology? I think I

read science fiction, too, so it seems I read mystery novels too. In other words, she loves

anything with print.  

    Her concentration is truly remarkable. It seems like I've completely forgotten everything

else, just obsessed with the words. Not only is the print tiny, but there are no illustrations.

Can you really read it? I guess you can.  

    It's not just her; anyone who loves books is incredible. There's someone like that in Class 4,

Grade 2, the boys' department. They're always reading during break time, claiming to finish a

whole book before going home, which is incredible. But accordin g to him, it's not speed

reading or anything like that. Are books really that magical?  

    Only Akane's fingers were intently turning the pages, looking like an innocent literary girl.

It was impossible to imagine she was the same person as that foul -mouthed bulldog.  

    Perhaps by chance, she looked up and met my gaze.  

    "Ah..."  

    Her face flushed more and more.  

    "Am I... weird?"  

    "No, nothing."  

    "Natsuru -san was staring at me, and I thought I was doing something strange."  

    "No, I'm just surprised by your enthusiasm."  

    "Ah... I've been wanting to read this book for a while now."  

    Akane gave a sheepish smile.  

    "It was a bit expensive, so I couldn't buy it. Having a library is so convenient these days."  

    "Does Akane only read those kinds of books?"  

    "No, I also read science fiction, suspense, and fantasy at home."  

    "Uh... that's not what I meant."  

    "Not really... I'm not good at horror."  

    "No, I read fashion magazines, for example."  

    "Oh..."  

    Akane suddenly wavered. Was this question really that shocking?  

    "I think that stuff isn't cheap either, but Sakura Kaede seems to be reading it."  

    "Well... I... don't really read that kind of stuff..."  

    Akane trailed off. Hmmmm, maybe she'd stepped on a landmine.  

    "I don't know if I'm just not interested... The senior on the library committee also said I'm

too unfeminine... but I just don't feel like dressing up at all..."  

    Akane is rather plain, a cute type that suits glasses perfectly. A little dressing up would

have been a real plus, but in a way, that's a shame.  

    "Well... maybe reading it would be better..."  

    "Uh, I don't know."  

    Although I started the conversation, I have almost no interest in clothes; jeans are enough.  

    Her voice trailed off.  

    "But Natsuru -san... said Sakura Kaede is reading it..."  

    "Yeah, I heard so."  

    "Sigh..."  

    She looked visibly disappointed. Why, why? Do fashion magazines and Sakura Kaede have

the destructive power of a virus? She was clearly out buying Jump.  

    "Isn't it okay otherwise?"  

    "I think it's fine the way it is now."  

    "Because Natsuru -san always says Sakura Kaede..."  

    There's nothing I can do about it. My brain is wired to only think about Sakura Kaede. It

was Sakura Kaede's personal computer, running according to Sakura Kaede's personal

program. Considering efficiency, I felt that way, but for me, it was enough.  

    "I might not have a chance..."  

    I don't know what kind of opportunity it is. If she's trying to wrest her place as one of the

three most beautiful women in the Seitetsu community from Sakura Kaede, there's probably

no hope.  

    "Akane, do you really dislike Sakura Kaede?"  

    "Rather than dislike..."  

    "How about I tell you about Sakura Kaede's strengths?"  

    I've been thinking about this for a while now. Akane and Sakura Kaede never seem to get

along, always arguing, especially since Akane seems to have been wary of Sakura Kaede from

the beginning. As a Sakura Kaede fan, how can I not do my bit to help?  

    "Hey, Akane, let's start with Sakura Kaede's first year of junior high..."  

    "No thanks..."  

    "Huh? No thanks? You'll like Sakura Kaede after listening to it. Just consider it a thank you

for helping me study."  

    "No thanks..."  

    Hmm, seeing her inexplicably disappointed, it's hard to force her. But Sakura Kaede, who

actually refused my speech, what's wrong with her?  

    Akane was speechless and pouted for a while.  

    "Natsuru -san..."  

    "What?"  

    Did she finally want to hear Sakura Kaede's story? But it wasn't subtle.  

    "Is Sakura Kaede really that good?"  

    She said the same thing as Shizuku.  

    "I don't understand your interests..."  

    "If I can't understand someone who likes Sakura Kaede, then almost everyone in the boys'

club has a bad taste."  

    "Natsuru -san is so popular, it doesn't matter if she's not Sakura Kaede."  

    What are you suddenly saying?  

    "That's not true."  

    "Popular? That's so cunning."  

    "How can I be cunning... I don't even know many girls."  

    If she were popular, she wouldn't have a position like special advisor to the Bishoujo

Research Society. She'd be caught by Higashida and the others and thrown into a frying pan.

And there's no law that says you can't be unpopular.  

    "Why do you have such a connection with girls..."  

    "You say connection, but who are they?"  

    "The president and Kondou Mikoto."  

    "Just two people."  

    "Two is enough! If you count the girl, Natsuru -san, there are a lot...!"  

    No, no, no, that's weird. While there are many girls who have a crush on me, that can't be

called popular. It's like a natural disaster.  

    "I don't stand a chance... The president and Kondou Mikoto are both so pretty..."  

    "Are you catching on to something strange?"  

    "Not strange..."  

    Hmm... I really don't understand. I thought they were talking about Sakura Kaede, but

suddenly the topic was directed at me. There was even a mention of popularity. Did she get a

fever from reading too much?  

    "That's great, so popular. I've never dated a man..."  

    "That's me too."  

    "She's popular with men, and she's popular with women too..."  

    I really wanted to avoid the latter.  

    "Could it be that she's just too hungry..."  

    "This is a misunderstanding."  

    I seemed to be caught up in negative thinking. Could this be a dangerous sign?  

    Akane suddenly glared at me.  

    "What kind of person does Natsuru -san like?"  

    "Of course Sakura Kaede."  

    "Besides Sakura Kaede, what do ordinary people like..."  

    "Hmm..."  

    I felt like this had become a serious topic. There was nothing I could do about it at this

point. I wasn't studying, but I was thinking.  

    "The cool type isn't that great either, and forget about the carefree type. An average height

is fine, and as for the face... personality doesn't matter... violent ones are out of the

question..."  

    Well, come to think of it, I really don't have any particular preferences. It's more about not

having a specific range than a wide range.  

    This is a real dilemma. Beautiful and cute girls are nice, of course, but I'm not really that

particular. I'm more interested in the atmosphere and being easy to get along with, because

it's better to be happy together.  

    Even if it's not happy, as long as we're not nervous, it's fine. In that case, it seems that any

biological female can do it. That's ridiculous. It's better to be compatible, like a plug and

socket.  

    I'm pretty good at this female route, but having emotional desires for myself is a complete

perversion. I'm not a narcissist.  

    Hmm... besides Sakura Kaede, if I have to say...  

    "Girls like Akane, huh?"  

    "Ah..."  

    The next moment, there was a flash of light.  

    Looking at me, I stumbled over. Where Akane used to sit was now occupied by the Bulldog

Girl. She instantly transformed into Kämpfer.  

    "Hey, Natsuru, was that real just now!?"  

    Idiot, the voice was too loud, and this is a library. But this guy didn't care.  

    "Really?!"  

    "Why did you suddenly transform...?!"  

    "Is this annoying? Leave me be. It's true, is it true?!"  

    She reached out and grabbed my collar with her left hand. Hey, this hurts.  

    This guy started shaking, her brain was shaking and laughing. Ugh, dizzy, my brain is

turning to cream.  

    "I'm not lying..."  

    "What you said is unbelievable. Why is my type the type you like? Hey!"  

    "To be precise, it's not you..."  

    "I was fine before the transformation. Tell me the reason quickly, or I'll give you a bullet as

a gift."  

    A pistol appeared, the black muzzle pressed against my brow. What the hell is this woman

doing? Why does she always have to solve problems with force?  

    I held out my hands, trying to comfort Akane.  

    "Good boy..."  

    "Do you think I'm a dog? Do you want to be killed?"  

    You're just a dog, you just understand human language, but otherwise you're just like a

dog. If I say these words, I will really be killed, so I can only keep it in my heart.  

    "I know, I know, wait a minute."  

    "You'll tell me, won't you?"  

    "Yes, I will."  

    "Okay, tell me."  

    "No... reason."  

    The bulldog girl's eyes had never been sharper.  

    "Looks like you want to die. Let me grant you that wish."  

    "Don't shoot! You don't need a reason for your type of liking. If you eliminate the ones you

don't like, then only Akane is left."  

    "You're kidding me, right? Anime often says 'there's going to be a second season,' but then

nothing happens!"  

    "Don't compare them, really."  

    Honestly, it wasn't a lie. Sakura Kaede was a supreme being, but apart from her, it was like

this.  

    Think about Shizuku, she's that kind of person. Being around her makes you feel like you're

draining all your bodily fluids. Kondou Mikoto is a bit boisterous, and there's Masumi

Nishino, but liking her is impossible. The class monitor, vice -monitor, a nd the accountant

should all be moved to the other side of the world. And so, incredibly, Akane was left alone.  

    Akane smiled.  

    "Really? Really? You got some good news, partner. This is even better than a Full Metal

Panic sequel. I really want to tell the president and Kondou Mikoto."  

    "Don't say anything unnecessary..."  

    "Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything. Things like this should be kept secret and used

at the critical moment, right?"  

    How should I know? Did I say something with disastrous consequences? Why is Akane so

happy?  

    "Then swear an oath."  

    "Huh?"  

    What oath? What do you want me to do?  

    "Swear to God...?"  

    "Stupid, what do you believe in?"  

    "Well, for a funeral, maybe Buddhism."  

    "It's similar with me. I'm not swearing to Jesus, Allah, or Tathagata. Or the Freemasons. I'm

swearing to this guy."  

    She thrust the pistol to my lips.  

    "My most important weapon, my symbol. Swear to this guy that I didn't lie."  

    "What kind of ceremony?"  

    "The pistol ceremony, quick."  

    I've never heard of such a ceremony.  

    But Akane's eyes were serious. It's strange to call this kind of bulldog serious, but she

meant business. Her earnestness and rage swirled like a washing machine with detergent,

and I fully understood that if I disobeyed, I'd be killed. Hey, hey, isn't  that a threat?  

    There's nothing I can do but say again that my type is Akane.  

    "So I swear."  

    "Is that true?"  

    "Are you a pastor?"  

    "Priest or priest, if you tell even a single lie, this guy won't let you off the hook."  

    She shook her Colt.  

    "Wow, stop, it's true."  

    "Okay."  

    The bulldog girl smiled like a bank robber who had successfully stolen a large sum of

money, then brought the gun to her lips.  

    Then, she kissed it.  

    "That's perfect. I did hear your oath."  

    What kind of scene was this? It was almost a threat, the kind of violent, gun -forcing

marriage. Only then did Akane smile a cute smile.  

    "Today is such a good day, it's great."  

    "Really?"  

    I was confused. It was good that I finished my homework, but I swore after being

threatened with a gun. I didn't get to meet Sakura Kaede.  

    Thinking about it carefully, my personal life has been strange recently. The class monitor's

sister asked me to go to the maid cafe, Kondou Mikoto spilled freshly made curry on me, and

Shizuku dragged me here and there saying it was a date.  

    And the last one is this. Why did I have to swear on a gun after confessing my favorite

type? Sigh.  

    But ignoring my feelings, Akane blinked one eye.  

    "A good day is a good day."  

    You really fit the plot of a western cowboy movie.  

    Then, with a stern face, she said,  

    "Don't break the oath,"  

    in a terrifying voice.  

Translator's Notes

This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.

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