Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume3.5 Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend

Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend

Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend

“Hello, who are you looking for?”

“Ah! Finally got through! That's great~”

“That voice—is it Akihisa? You actually know how to use the international line, what's wrong?”

“YOU DARE TO ASK ME!? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, MUM!? I CHECKED SO MANY TIMES ALREADY, WHY DOES MY CARD HAVE ONLY 39 YEN!? DID YOU FORGET TO TOP UP MY FUNDS!?”

“How rude. How can I forget that? As for the money, I safely—”

“So you sent it?”

“—kept it in my wallet.”

“YOU ACTUALLY DARE TO TAKE YOU SON'S FUNDS? DAMN IT, I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN TO DAD!”

“Relax, a part of that money went to dad.”

“IS DAD AN ACCOMPLICE!? GUZZLING DOWN MY SOURCE OF LIFE, YOU'RE THE WORST COUPLE EVER!”

“...Sorry, actually, dad only got 20% of it.”

“AND IT'S COMPLETELY UNEQUAL! DAD'S REALLY PITIFUL HERE!!”

“Your dad didn't even know anything at all and thought that I got half the money. He was really happy.”

“...Dad...why did you marry such a person?”

“Sigh, let's not talk about this first.”

“Eh? Ah, oh...”

“Didn't mom tell you before? You have to report your grades to me regularly, but ever since you entered 2nd grade, I haven't heard anything about the grades from you, you know?”

“...Sorry mom, my reception here is bad, can't hear you properly here.”

“So what if the reception is bad, my problem here is that my son's so stupid.”

“I don't think we're on the same topic.”

“And it's so bad it's superhuman.”

“I, I'm not that stupid!”

“Oh, really? Then say it. How's your grades now?”

“...”

“Hurry up. Once you answer it, I'll consider if I should give the money to you.”

“Erm...well, I used to think that mum looks so youthful and pretty, but mom's real charm isn't just in the appearance, but also in the heart. She not only has all the positives as a lady, her movements and decision making won't lose to a man. As your son, I often bragged about this.” .

“Enough nonsense. I won't let you give me an excuse, so answer me in English. 'How are your grades in school'?”

“Ah...”

“Ah? 'a thousand'? 'a little bad'? 'about average score'?”

“Arm, solei...”

--DUUU...

“EHH? WHAT'S WITH THIS RESPONSE? THAT'S TOO COLD ALREADY! DAMN IT! IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'LL KEEP CALLING YOU LIKE A CRAZED PERVERT! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE RESILENCE OF THIS SON!”

☆

“...So after hearing the irritating buzzing that's like those insect repellents, she just set your number such that her phone will refuse to hear your call?”

“Un. Don't you find her really too much? That person is definitely not my mother.”

“Well, it's been tough on you...”

During lunch, I grumbled about the conversation I had with my mom to Yuuji. It's unexpected for him to have such a reaction.

“Wh, what's wrong with you, Yuuji? It's disgusting to hear you pity me.”

“Nothing much, just that I understand how it's like to have suffered under a mother...”

Yuuji looks up and gazes outside the window, looking like there's something on his mind, and there's actually an expression that's doesn't match that hard and rough expression of his.

“So, what are you going to do, Akihisa?”

The beauty who's holding a packet drink—Hideyoshi asked me. Seeing him drink the soy milk, I really want to smile. The TV adverts are telling us that soy milk is beneficial to beauty, and this drink really suits Hideyoshi.

“Uu~ hm...really, I'm bothered as well. Seems like my mum hardened her heart. I couldn't call her, and even if I want to fly overseas to find her, it's too far overseas...”

And besides, I really don't know where they are anyway. All I know is that they're running a partnership enterprise somewhere overseas...

“...Seems like you can only earn it yourself.”

My classmate Tsuchiya Kouta, nicknamed Muttsulini is reading a magazine as he said this. The reason why he has such a nickname is because he is a super silent pervert—and even the silent part is missing recently. Now he's just a blatant pervert.

“Ya, seems like I should find a job.”

If possible, I hope that I can get my pay daily and immediately start work. I don't suppose that high school students can earn their pay on a daily basis, do they?

“Working? Now that you mention it, the cafe in front of the station is hiring people.

Yuuji places his hand below his chin.

“The cafe in front of the station?”

“Seems like it's called 'La Pedis', right? I don't know what language that is in.”

“Hei~ so that place is hiring people?”

That place sells really nice food, and they're really cheap. It's a place that many students from Fumitzuki Gakuen often patronize. There was once when I went there with Minami (while my arm was twisted).

“I remember that it's just relief work for this Saturday. The shift is from 11:00 to 20:00, and the salary is around 8,800 yen. It seems like they welcome any inexperienced people as well.”

“Only 1 day, and they invite newcomers as well? That's great to me—but there's a catch, right?”

Normally, a cafe won't hire people who's studying in the short-term, and it's even weirder for them to invite inexperienced people as well. There must be something.

"This hiring method may be a bit different, but I feel that there's no need to be so surprised. Most likely, the staff members just left the shop, so he had to hire people like this?"

This reason is possible. Since they are also willing to accept inexperienced people, the owner must be really desperate already, right?

"...Besides, Akihisa doesn't have any power to be picky about this."

"Uu...you're right about that..."

Like what Muttsulini said, right now, I don't have the capacity to talk about this. This is a matter of life and death, seems like I really have to fight for that part-time job.

"So, Akihisa's going as well?"

"Eh? 'Akihisa's going as well', does this mean that you're going too Yuuji?"

"I'm thinking that way. Actually, I wanted to go there to try it out."

I see, no wonder he understood about those things.

"What is it? Does Yuuji want to buy something? Why don't you say it to us?"

"Well, it's actually nothing...I just want to add locks to my lock, the best and sturdiest kind."

Amongst us youths, anyone will think of installing locks in our own rooms--but there's probably only a handful who does it for the reason Yuuji has.

"Oh yeah, how many people do they want?"

If we have to compete against each other in the interview, I may have to poison Yuuji first. I wonder if I still have some of Himeji-san's biscuits...

"I remember it's about 3-4. The place is rather big, so they really need a lot of people."

Now that Yuuji said this, I remember what I saw in the shop. The outside's already like a family restaurant, and there's a lot of variety on the menu. Including the staff in the kitchen, it is possible to have another 3 or 4 people.

"About 4 people, huh? How about Hideyoshi and Muttsulini join us?"

"That can do...maybe I can practice my acting. It's good to have experience."

"...I can get enough money to buy a camera."

Both of them don't have any other plans, so they agreed to it easy. Muttsulini will show his skills in the kitchen, and as for Hideyoshi, there's no real need to talk about it.

"Since we decided, let's go for the interview after class today. It'll be over if we can't get others."

"You're right. Let's do it."

"Got it."

"...(Nods head)"

Because of that, the 4 of us went to the cafe, and after taking the interview there, we got accepted.

☆

“Ahh...you people really came...sorry to bother you for today...”

“O, okay, please take care of us.”

On Saturday, the coffee shop owner drags his body that looks extremely frail as he invites the 4 of us in, who arrived an hour early.

(Oi, is this shop owner really going to make it?)

(Um...to me, if such a thing happens again, this brother here will likely jump into the sea below Mount Fuji. He looks really weak.)

Hideyoshi's thoughts hit the mark. If such a person is to appear at a train station platform, I'll tell the conductor to watch him and prevent him from jumping onto the tracks.

(I heard a rumor...that this shop owner's wife and daughter left him.)

Yuuji muttered.

Maybe this shop owner couldn't take the sudden stress of losing his wife and daughter? Thinking about it, it's rather likely that he would hire one-day-workers. Anyway, we just need to help out before his wife and daughter comes back.

(That's strange. I remember that there were a few girls working here the last time...)

(I don't know what happened to them as well. Most likely there's something to their resignation that we don't know of.)

So they resigned? Seems like they didn't want to get involved with the shop owner's business.

“Well, here are your uniforms...tell me if the sizes don't match...”

The shop owner places the folded uniforms in front of us.

“““My size doesn't match at all.”””

The moment we received the uniforms, Yuuji, Muttsulini and me said this in perfect unison.

“My gender doesn't match.”

On a side note, that's Hideyoshi voicing his displeasure over being given a female uniform.

“Eh? That's strange...I definitely measured it before...”

The shop owner tilts his head, but no matter how I see it, the sizes don't match.

“Erm, my uniform may be a bit too small, but Yuuji and Muttsulini—no, Sakamoto and Tsuchiya's sizes definitely don't match.”

Did the shop owner give the uniforms to the wrong people? If it's not, his eyes must be really bad then.

“Is it...but to me, Sakamoto-san is S, Yoshii-san is M, and Tsuchiya-san is ERO—no, L...”

This shopkeeper can't be underestimated at all!

“...I have no interest in ERO.”

““WHA!!””

On hearing what's definitely the biggest lie of the century, Yuuji and I shouted out in shock.

“Muttsulini, no matter what, you can't just lie like that.”

“Ya, if you want to lie, make sure it's at least believable.”

“...(Shakes head violently).”

That shaking-head pose of his is blatantly a lie. Really, is there a need a make sure a huge lie?

“Never mind, forget about that. My size is L, so I can swap with Muttsulini.”

Maybe I might seem small when standing next to Yuuji, but I am taller than the average boy. To me, the width of an M-sized uniform may be wide enough, but the length isn't enough.

“...I'll wear M. It's perfect.”

I swap uniforms with Muttsulini. Hm, size L does fits me.

“Shopkeeper, I should be wearing XL. Can you help me change to another one?”

Yuuji has no one to exchange uniforms with, so he could only return the uniform.

“I see...you're right...I accidentally mixed up the uniform sizes with my fetishes...”

That's a really casual error there.

“Well, I did say that my gender's wrong...”

Alright, time to change, and let's start working!

☆

The worker's restroom isn't really big, so both Muttsulini and I enter first.

"Sure feels like the school festival."

"...We seem to be fated with cafes."

After putting our personal stuff into the storage cupboard, Muttsulini and I started talking as we change clothes.

This shop uniform has long black pants and a white shirt, with a block tightfitting vest over it. It's a normal waiter unifrom. A black apron around the pants, a black bow tie, and we're all good.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"...Excuse us."

Affter changing, Muttsulini and I walk out of the restroom in similar uniforms as we call out to the people outside. Yuuji and Hideyoshi seem impressed as they look at our attire.

"Haha, really suits you guys. You guys really have the look."

"The way I see it, both of you look really cool now."

"Re, really?"

"...How embarrassing."

Unlike the school uniform or casual uniform, these are actual cafe uniforms. I already feel bad about dressing up like them, and I'm a lot more embarrassed now that they praised me.

"Then, I'll go in with Yuuji."

"Um, our turn."

After saying out our thoughts, this time, it's Yuuji and Hideyoshi's going in with the uniforms in the hands--eh WAIT A MINUTE!!!

"YUUJI YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU JUST GO IN AND CHANGE CLOTHES WITH HIDEYOSHI LIKE THAT!?"

"...Ten thousand deaths await you!"

I frantically try to force the door open, but they locked themselves inside; the handle couldn't be turned. If this keeps up, Hideyoshi will be in danger!

But Yuuji ignores us who're intending to break the door, not understanding our thoughts as he sighs in the restroom.

"What are you saying. Whether we're changing clothes or something else, we're both guys. How can there be any problem?"

BOTH OF YOU ARE GUYS? ANY PROBLEMS? WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS IDIOT UTTERING!?

"YUUJI!! THAT'S AN ERROR ON THE RECORDS!!"

"Wait, wait a minute, Akihisa! I am someone with a male body!"

Seems like Yuuji hasn't understood what's going on. He actually believed the records blindly!

"Sigh, I know. I'll listen to what you have to say once we're done, so just calm down now."

Yuuji said this with an impatient tone.

NO! It'll be over when they changed! If so--

"Yuuji! If you don't want to change you mind no matter what..."

"So what? Don't break the door now! It'll be bad if we have to pay for the door immediately after coming to work here."

"--I'm going to tell Kirishima-san everything!"

Creak!

"I can change in the corridor, right?"

Good that you understand.

"Okay, let's go find the shop owner."

"...(Nods head)"

After solving this crisis, Muttsulini and I head towards the hall.

"Urm...I can't seem to reach the zip on my back. Sorry Yuuji, but can you--eh? Where did Yuuji go?"

"Sorry Hideyoshi, I treasure my life."

Hearing this conversation behind me, I finally relaxed. Really, Hideyoshi's defenselessness is really troublesome.

"Speaking of which, this is a real cafe; different from the one at school. Sure feels refreshing."

"...Very interesting."

Today's work may be a great experience. Though it's not to the extent that I can stop begging my mother for money, it's not too bad.

"You said that you want to do the work in the kitchen right, Muttsulini?"

"...I did say that in the interview."

"Well, you should be in charge of the kitchen."

Harboring nervous feelings, I head towards the the hall where the shopkeeper's at.

"...(Blank)"

The shopkeeper is just sitting around, his soul oozing out of his mouth.

"Shop, shopkeeper, are you alright?"

"Ah...ahh, I'm alright, I'm alright...as long as I deal with the shop's stuff well, I'm sure those two will come back..."

Seems like the shopkeeper unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. Can he really hang on?

(Muttsulini, this guy isn't doing so well, is he?)

(...That may be dangerous.)

(Teag. Why don't we test it out first?)

(...How?)

(Just talk with him as per normal.)

I let Muttsulini remain here as I walk to the shopkeeper.

Let me see, what should I say to him?

"Well, shopkeeper..."

"...Hm? Ahh, what is it?"

"The weather's nice today."

I didn't know what to say, so I just mentioned that the weather's nice today.

"Ahh...yes...daddy's really irritating..."

Seeing his response, it seems like my idea of talking about the weather just went down the drain.

"Um...let's just hope that there will be a lot of customers today."

Let's change the topic. If it's about the shop, he can't possibly ignore it, right?

"My cutest among cutest daughter...she always said that 'I loved papa' before she was 1 year old..."

"Shopkeeper, that's a memory you made up."

I remember a kid has to be about 2 before the kid starts to talk.

(What now, Muttsulini? I couldn't get through to the shopkeeper at all.)

(...How about we talk about his daughter?)

( I see. Maybe we can get a response out of him.)

The shopkeeper was just muttering about things regarding his daughter. If we talk about his daughter, he should have a response, right?

"Well..."

"Erm...hm?"

"How's your daughter li--"

"I give you 5 seconds to pray to god."

Immediately, a chilly object is placed at my neck.

"Hol, hold on a moment, shopkeeper! Besides, where did you get that knife from!?"

"Ah, ahh, I'm terribly sorry...you're the boy who's working today, right? You're not that guy who wants to take away my cute little angel..."

"Ye, yeah, you're mistaken there."

"Hahaha...sorry there..."

The shopkeepr keeps the knife back into his clutches. Seems like I managed to protect my carotid pulse.

Now that we said so much, is this shopkeeper really alright?

How's Muttsulini's assessment?

(Muttsulini, how is it? Do you find this shopkeeper 'safe' or 'out'?)

(...Try it again.)

You want a 3rd out? That's an appropriate assessment.

But what should I do now? I need my money if I want to survive, and even if the shopkeeper's like this, I can't just say go and then go away...

Just as I'm worrying about how to work together with the shopkeeper,

"Uu, my uniform's the only one different here..."

"Give it up, Hideyoshi. This is for work."

"...Since this is for the money, I don't really have much to argue about..."

Yuuji and Hideyoshi's voices can be heard from behind.

"Ah, you two, how long do you need to change clothes--"

Turning back to look at their attire, I was completely flabbergasted

The tall Yuuji is rather suited to be dressed as a waiter, so I'll let that pass, but the problem's the other person.

"Sorry. This uniform is really hard to wear. Took me quite a while to wear it."

Hideyoshi tugs at his dress. Anyone will think that he's a waitress.

Eh, should I say something here...

"Hi, Hideyoshi, that really suits you--"

Just as I was about to praise Hideyoshi about this--

"DEAR MY DAUGTHHHHEEEERRRR--"

On seeing Hideyoshi in the uniform, the shopkeeper suddenly opens his arms wide and leaps towards Hideyoshi like a weird bird.

"WHA, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"SHOP, SHOPKEEPER? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!"

"DEAR MY DAUGTHHHHEEEERRRR--"

No way! We can't get through to him!

"Can't be helped! Yuuji, get ready to fight!"

"Got--no wait! We can't hit him! Why is there such a weird movement!?"

"MUTTSULINI, TASER THE SHOPKEEPER!"

"...Can't lock on to target!"

The shopkeeper's moving like a doppleganger. Even Yuuji and Muttsulini can't stop him! If this keeps up, Hideyoshi will be in danger!

"HIDEYOSHI!!!"

"WHA, WHAT DO I DO???"

"TRY AND STOP HIM! SHOUT SOMETHING 'A TEENAGE GIRL WOULD SAY WHEN HE READS HER SECRET DIARY'!"

"I, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT I'LL TRY!!"

After I gave him a scenario, Hideyoshi flipped into an actor on a stage.

"...I HATE DADDY THE MOST!!!"

Such a vicious and spiteful line there. Now that his cute (fake) daughter said this, the shopkeepr should be shocked--

"REALLY...HOW ABOUT YOU BATH TOGETHER WITH PAPA!!!"

What the heck, no effect at all! Or rather, isn't there something wrong with this conversation!? Either way, there's no 'bath together with papa' option here!?

"If that's the case, we'll let him calm down through violence! Back away, Hideyoshi, take off that uniform! Yuuji, Muttsulini, we're going all out!!"

"""Roger!"""

"DEAR MY DAUGTHHHHEEEERRRR--"

After setting the taser power to the maximum and hitting him hard 4 times, the shopkeeper finally can't get up.

☆