Difference between revisions of "Talk:Suzumiya Haruhi:Volume7 Chapter 7"
(New page: "That was exactly where I and Koizumi '''had spent our lives digging''' for up to two meters." "Had spent our lives digging" sounds so wierd. Change? --~~~~) |
(While ----- like a pigeon.) |
||
| (2 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown) | |||
| Line 3: | Line 3: | ||
"Had spent our lives digging" sounds so wierd. Change? |
"Had spent our lives digging" sounds so wierd. Change? |
||
--[[User:Umiman|umiman]] 03:23, 16 February 2007 (PST) |
--[[User:Umiman|umiman]] 03:23, 16 February 2007 (PST) |
||
| + | |||
| + | :There's nothing technically wrong with it, but I'd recommend "wasted our time" in place of "spent our lives" and removing the "for." [[User:Smidge204|Smidge204]] 11:02, 16 February 2007 (PST) |
||
| + | |||
| + | :I went with "spent our life force" as an intermediate solution. Removing the "for" still leaves the last phrase a bit awkward, due to the implicit down vs. the explicit up. May sub "as much as two meters deep," eventually.--[[User:Nutcase|Nutcase]] 04:50, 17 February 2007 (PST) |
||
| + | |||
| + | == While ----- like a pigeon. == |
||
| + | |||
| + | I found this as "cooing," changed it to "chuckling" as at least equally descriptive of pigeon sounds and also having a meaning in human terms that could plausibly relate to Koizumi's state of mind. Now I notice that there was an earlier forum thread about "crowing" -- not a pigeon sound -- vs. "cooing." |
||
| + | |||
| + | A brief web search turns up "cooing" and "crooning" as common representations of pigeon sound, but not "chuckling." But wait! I get hits on "chortling"! And it's even better than better than "chuckling" as a fit to the context, with implications of smug satisfaction.--[[User:Nutcase|Nutcase]] 21:45, 5 March 2007 (PST) |
||
Latest revision as of 07:45, 6 March 2007
"That was exactly where I and Koizumi had spent our lives digging for up to two meters."
"Had spent our lives digging" sounds so wierd. Change? --umiman 03:23, 16 February 2007 (PST)
- There's nothing technically wrong with it, but I'd recommend "wasted our time" in place of "spent our lives" and removing the "for." Smidge204 11:02, 16 February 2007 (PST)
- I went with "spent our life force" as an intermediate solution. Removing the "for" still leaves the last phrase a bit awkward, due to the implicit down vs. the explicit up. May sub "as much as two meters deep," eventually.--Nutcase 04:50, 17 February 2007 (PST)
While ----- like a pigeon.[edit]
I found this as "cooing," changed it to "chuckling" as at least equally descriptive of pigeon sounds and also having a meaning in human terms that could plausibly relate to Koizumi's state of mind. Now I notice that there was an earlier forum thread about "crowing" -- not a pigeon sound -- vs. "cooing."
A brief web search turns up "cooing" and "crooning" as common representations of pigeon sound, but not "chuckling." But wait! I get hits on "chortling"! And it's even better than better than "chuckling" as a fit to the context, with implications of smug satisfaction.--Nutcase 21:45, 5 March 2007 (PST)
