Akiha haruhi v9 prologue

Before you do anything, please also read its Talk page, which contains an IRC log.

I have #baka-tsuki_QC_SHnY on irc.riozn.net for QCing. If you want to contact me in realtime, visit it. Be careful that it is recorded and exposured to public.

This is only a personal memo. So, it has't a formal writing style and has incomprehensible parts, because I don't have enough enthusiasm to improve the problems :p But I think it is useful to someone who is eager to raise of the quality of translation. If you have free time, please decipher this Engrish and post it on Talk page or Forum, or tell me on official IRC Channel! awawa I'm planning to squash these dozen of picky bugs on IRC someday. It is a too much routine work to rewrite each suggestion to not-broken English and to post each suggestion on Talk page or Forum and to follow the topic. And most of them need a single confirmation of Editors to make sure a changed English sentence is a fluent English. I want to utilize my efforts. The chat log will be uploaded somewhere in baka-tsuki wiki for other people to refer to. I can adjust when to do it to your convenient.

gradually, I'm getting tired of copying the Original text from wiki, the Japanese from text file... hmm. I really want a specific UI. :p

1. lowest Koizumi is a bit ruder.

   Koizumi squinted his eyes and raised his lips slightly upward, arms crossed in front of his chest, legs resting on the table.

   • correct: crossing legs.
2. culture Translation note "Gakku" is needed

   original

   I ended up in North High due to my results,

   correct

   I ended up in North High due to Gakku,

   japanese

   俺がこの高校に入学したのは学区割りという制度の仕業だが、

   • My dictionary says "Gakku" is school district.. Is there school district on other countries?
   • http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%AD%A6%E5%8C%BA

     status

     open

   • Suzumiya_Haruhi:Volume9_Prologue#Unknown_moving_object
3. low 'the pot calling the kettle black'

   'the pot calling the kettle black' is somewhat not equivalent the corresponding Japanese saying.

   • more explanation about the context in which it is used is essential to rationalize this suggestion....
4. normal

   original

   I'm not planning to wear this to lessons, so is it really important? Don't you agree with me, Mikuru-chan?” “Eh? Ah… Yes… But if we're forced to go home just because we are wearing this then…”

   correct

   I'm only going to wear this after school not in class or the way home, so does it really matter? Don't you agree with me, Mikuru-chan?” “Eh? Ah… (Yes, ) I agree not to wear this during commuting at all costs, because this costume is too embarrassing…”

   • "Yes" is translated literally. Mikuru made her answer vague. so "Yes" can be omitted. And it corresponds to the next sentence's predicate("agree"). In other words, "Yes, I agree to a part of your opinion". Maybe, because she heard the phrase "wearing this costume during commuting", her thought was filled with about that, being frightened. And so, she grumbled about that.
5. low a more smooth flow of story

   Haruhi looked at me with a face of displeasure. I suddenly felt as if my emotions resembled those of a shrimp sensing the presence of a whale nearby, and immediately ran for cover behind Nagato.

   correct:Haruhi looked at me with a face of displeasure. I suddenly felt as if my emotions resembled those of a shrimp sensing the presence of a whale nearby. However Haruhi jumped behind Nagato, who is silently reading the book.

   • Haruhi is hinting the answer of the sequenced question with moving near Nagato. btw I feel moe from this behavior of Haruhi...
   • And haruhi bring her finger to the shoulders of Nagato, because she is very near Nagato.
6. closed culture Suzumiya-san
   • correct: Suzumiya-kun
   • high-up students such as the student council president uses "<male/female name>-kun" as very polite attitude, even if callee is female. it is applied to kimidori because of her membership of student council. it is applied to haruhi as a feigned polite one.
7. low The talk about a lack of respect in the tone of high school students is indeed true.
   • imifumei
8. low The president turned his head and looked at Haruhi after hearing this. “Hmph~”, though it seems he cannot be bothered with that.
   • haruhi turned his head
9. culture“It seems we were quite successful. It's perfect, really perfect."
   • an onomatopoeia "tyororon" feeling is missing. Haruhi coined "tyororon" from "tyoroi", which is a colloquial word, and means "easy" in English. Does English have the counterpart onomatopoeia?
   • This coined word shows her creativity and thus her originality and thus her charm( to some people).
10. lowest swung the connector of the extension cable while thinking about the fact that this third year president actually allowed us to borrow their power source just because of this.
    • "just because of this"??? because of the awesomeness of OS made by Nagato? <- this is wrong...
11. low

    This guy who entered class 2-9, as if entering the guerilla war, had the entire class of 1-9 enter alongside him.

    correct: This guy who entered class 2-9, as if conveyed with a gondola, had the entire class of 1-9 enter alongside him.

    • "entering the guerilla war" sounds violent and dangerous to me...
    • "ゴンドラ" (which I put into "gondola" literally) can refer two transports. a machine(Aerial tramway?) or a boat.
    • google shows images of both
    • I can't judge the original refers to which of the two. But I haven't know the "boat" meanining of "ゴンドラ" until now. :D
    • Also the English sentence indicate Koizumi forced classmates of 1-9 to enter in 2-9, right? this is wrong... the incident resulted from the nature of the x-9 class.
12. what is "arch-nemeses"???? I need google it....
13. high an whole paragraph is missing... between "source just because of this." and "I connected the plug to the"
    • corresponding pages in Japanese is 35-36.

      status

      open

    • http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1142
14. lowest trans.:newpaper, original:Frisbee
15. high an whole paragraph is missing... between "...for you would be as free as me." and “Kyon, start playing the DVD now!”

    • status

      open

    • http://www.baka-tsuki.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1142
    • corresponding pages in Japanese is 38.
16. normal“Like movie trailers. Aren’t they shown in cinemas before the ac
    • wrong: in cinema , correct; in TV CM in movie programs.
17. high “The Revenge of Nagato Yuki will open during the spring cultural festival!” that Haruhi screamed at the end?

    • status

      open

    • http://www.baka-tsuki.net/project/index.php?title=Talk:Suzumiya_Haruhi:Volume9_Prologue#high_Autumn_not_Spring
    • spring->fall
    • of course the original says "fall"
    • usually cultuaral festival is hold in fall in each year.
18. normalTaniguchi even talked about how much blood he spilled just to produce his article back then.
    • ple on the director’s table.
    • directors table??? maybe "table in front of Nagato"
19. normal"I attempted to concentrate on the story book in front of me as I tried to stop my curiosity from wandering further…" and the last paragraph is enough a mismatch to retranslate it.
20. ????? never mind: The main reason is because my body has not been too well lately.
21. high Nonsense sentence

    Original

    While we are already considered matured, but compared to Nagato and Asahina, our credibility do not seem that high.

    • status

      open

    • http://www.baka-tsuki.net/project/index.php?title=Talk:Suzumiya_Haruhi:Volume9_Prologue#Nonsense_sentence
22. ???? never midn: it began one day after spring break. -> the last day of spring break.
23. closed high several sentence is missing...

    • from

      Just when I thought of correcting Haruhi…

      to

      “You are right…” Koizumi

    • the missing sentence

    「キョン、そんときにはカートを持って有希のところまで取りに行くのよ。箱詰めの手伝いもね」

    　長門は再び首をひねって俺を注視し、俺はその目に浮《う》かぶメッセージを幻視《げんし》する感覚に襲《おそ》われた。あれはいつだっけ。ああ、中河《なかがわ》のバカからアホな電話があった頃合《ころあ》いだから冬休み中だな。部室の年末｜大掃除《おおそうじ》にて、長門は本棚に溢《あふ》れる本の処分について完全ノーコメントを貫《つらぬ》いていた。家の自室に置いてある本だって一冊たりとも失いたくないはずさ。

    • Translation

    "Kyon, in such a case, you should go to Yuki's home with a cart to help to carry her books. Also you should help to pack them in a box."

    Nagato turned her head to stare at me again. All of a sudden, I was suddenly struck with the feeling hallucinating a message in her eyes. Hmm, when did "it" happen? ...Oh it was when stupid Nakagawa called me about a ridiculous topic. (I cannot remember what Kyon refer to, so I just literally used the words "ridiculous" and "topic".) so, during last winter break. When we were cleaning out our clubroom in the end of last year, Nagato said nothing about a dozen of her books in the bookselves in the clubroom. After all, she don't want to lose any her books in the clubroom, including ones in her home, I think.

    • refer to the talk between (2007-06-15 03:10:38) and (2007-06-15 03:48:14) in the talk page.
24. closed extreme high Haruhi's not-girlish behavior

    original(wrong)

    Haruhi hastily jumped onto the director’s table and sat on it.

    mine(correct)

    Haruhi hastily jumped onto the director’s chair and sat on it.

    • I am surely not kidding. 机に座る is literally translated into "sit on a desk". the actual meaning is "sit on the chair accompanied with a desk.". I wonder whether "sit on a desk" works as the actual meaning..
    • Remember I like Haruhi (//.//)
25. Koizumi would not understand a technique like mind control.
26. 古泉に記憶操作されるいわれなどまったくない。
27. low

    original(wrong)

    I saw Miyoko on the road three days ago. When I first saw her I was already in shock. I haven’t seen her for a only while and yet she looked even more graceful and mature than before.

    mine(correct)

    When I saw Miyoko on the road three days ago, I was shocked(or "I was in shock": I don't feel it comfortable with "When~"). It had been a only while since I saw her last time and yet she looked even more graceful and mature (than before(Is it can be omitted?)).

28. normal Miyoko -> Miyokichi
    • "miyokichi" is used in the original part.
29. lowest

    original

    If the height and weight measurements are anything to go by, the amount of flesh on our bodies should have changed.

    mine

    If the result of my height and weight measurements is anything to go by, the amount of flesh on my body should have changed.

    • Sasaki don't know the result of Kyon's one.
    • Deliberate contradict expression is used. sex-gap expression(these are words coined by me. later I'll expand it to some explanations.)
30. low Sasaki-chan's talk is very cute >.<

    English

    No matter if it improves or takes a turn for the worse, if humans are interested in material comforts, unless we make massive changes to the concept of material comfort, thoughts patterns and viewpoints are not easy to change.

    Japanese

    良くも悪くもね。人間の意識が物質に宿るものだとしたら、構成物質をよほど違《ちが》うものにしない限り考え方や物の見方もそう異ならないんだろう

31. low Revenge of Sasaki-chan

    English

    because it is impossible for humans to correctly understand creatures who have an intelligence exceeding that of themselves.

    Japanese

    なぜなら、人間は己《おのれ》の認識能力を超《こ》えた事象を決して正しく理解することはできないのだからね。

32. low 3rd Sasaki-chan

    Original

    When soundwaves go below a certain level

    Correct

    When sound waves go beyond a certain level

    • I'm sure that this is more sensible, considering the next sentences.
    • btw, my firefox-chan is telling "soundwaves" isn't correct word.
33. low

    Original

    From a particular perspective, we are indeed able to communicate with each other well. But in actual fact, people who seem like me cannot actually be compared to me. Our views are too different. I am pretty aware of my own limits, so people whom I admire philosophically are actually not too little. If I have to make an example, you are one of them.

    Japanese

    ある意味、僕とはよい話相手になりそうな人物です。しかし実質、僕など足元にも及《およ》びません。立場が違いすぎます。僕は自分の限界を知っているので、僕が羨望《せんぼう》と達観を感じざるを得ない人間は少数とは言えません。加えますと、あなたもその一人です

34. low

    Original

    Moving like a particle, each of her actions cause disturbances, much like light.

    Japanese

    粒子《りゅうし》のような振《ふ》る舞《ま》いをしながら波動としての仕事もする、まるで光のように

35. low

    Original

    I am already used to having random vocabulary words being thrown at me once in a while. As for the photoelectrical behavior of light, I hope I would never come across it in my entire life.

    Japanese

    偶然《ぐうぜん》という単語は聞き飽《あ》きた。ましてや光が持つ二重性についてなど一生｜無縁《むえん》にしていたい。

36. lowest double -> add

    Original

    So, we should double your fine if you are late!

    Japanese

    だから、遅《おく》れてきたぶんは罰金《ばっきん》に加算するわ。

37. closed normal a contradiction between kyon and sasaki.

    Original

    But even after entering different high schools, our frequency of meetings was still higher compared to that with my other middle school classmates. I thought so too as well......

    Japanese

    学校が引けてからも顔を合わしている回数はクラスメイトの誰よりも多かったように思う。思うのだが――。

38. low

    Original

    Haruhi’s eyes took a quick glance at me, as if it is because of me that she is now forced to take the rap and become a criminal.

    Correct

    Haruhi’s eyes took a quick glance at me. As if I'm now forced to take the rap and become a criminal...

    • Kyon was feeling the uneasiness, not Haruhi. Feeling of guilt, he excused Sasaki's awareness of Haruhi with the next line.
    • "Haruhi’s eyes took a quick glance at me," Haruhi's reaction.
    • "As if I'm now forced to take the rap and become a criminal..." Kyon's re-reaction.
      • Originally, the Japanese is a rhythmical and balanced expression.
39. culture missing of 専願
    • http://www.benesse.co.jp/zemi/words/c_11.html
40. culture european tree frog (Hyla arborea) -> Japanese Tree Frog
    • Japanese tree frog
41. To me
    • “So how many seats are available over there?”
      • I can't understand it.
42. closed Is Kyaa~ Mikuru's habit of saying in English?
    • this is a list of each phonetic romanization translated into "kyaa~".

      1.Asahina-san shivered. "Kyaa~" She let out

      Ah~

      2.maintaining her bright smiling face. "Kyaa~!" Asahina-san jumped as Haruhi placed her hand on her waist.

      Hya~

      3.since you buy things so often." "Kyaa~? Th-That..." Asahina-san widened her beautiful eyes.

      ah eeto

      4.The people she pointed to slowly responded… “Kyaa~ I-I am Asahina Mikuru.” Looking at the only senior in her

      ah.. ah...

      5.“Kyaa~ What a simple toy… but it is really beautiful…”

      Waa~

      6.her hands placed over Asahina-san's shoulders. “Kyaa~! Ow, ow ow……..” Because the difference in

      Wawa, wawawa

      • see! here is a real example of my "awawa"
43. low

    Original

    Haruhi tilted her head, as if she wanted to empty out any unwanted thoughts she had recalled out from the ears, but very quickly forgot about adjusting her head angle but jumped and changed the direction her body is facing instead.

    Japanese

    ハルヒは何か思い出しかけていることを耳から転げ出そうとするかのように首を傾《かし》げたが、早々とあきらめたふうに頭の角度を修正し、ぴょんと跳《は》ねて体の向きも変えた。

44. To me
    • Is Sakanaka the first name of Miyoko???
45. culturechess set

    Original

    You don’t tell me you had already forgotten that because you kept holding onto the chess set you bought from the old couple, all of the carrying duties were left to me.

    Japanese

    お前が老夫婦の出店で購入《こうにゅう》した碁盤《ごばん》を終始｜抱《かか》えて歩いていたため、荷物持ちの役割が俺の両｜腕《うで》に託《たく》されちまったことを忘れたとは言わせんぞ。

46. closed high
    • (TL: Okay, an illogical line in my copy. If I translate it out, it will be about a heartwarming object looking at the back of a display. Hope a TL with a Jap copy can take a look.)

      Japanese

      古泉はモニタの裏側を熱心に観察しながら、

      Original

      Koizumi said while surveying the monitor in earnest,

47. low

    Original

    I am engulfed by the speechlessness of Nagato.

    Japanese

    俺は長門的沈黙で身を包んだ。

    Correct

    I am engulfed by the speechlessness like that of Nagato.

48. Other

    Original

    Koizumi revealed a smile that looked like it is on a mask that is dug out from the Jomon Period

    Correct

    Koizumi revealed a smile that looked like it is on a mask dug out from the Jomon Period

49. lowest the cicada -> the cast-off skin of the cikada

    Original

    Shamisen first saw the cicada

    Japanese

    セミの抜《ぬ》け殻《がら》

50. lowest

    Original

    Koizumi closed his mouth with a look of shock before looking at me more with a sense of connoisseurship than friendliness, just like when Shamisen first saw the cicada my younger sister caught and brought home, and continued this way for nearly ten seconds.

    • "this way" refers to "Koizumi closed his mouth" or "looking at me"?
      • this is determined by the context?

        • another example

          "I was waiting for Konata in a meeting place before I unexpectedly encountered Haruhi, and continued this way for nearly ten minutes.

    • the Japanese part refers "looking at me"
51. Otaku power :D
    • http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%9C%E3%82%AF%E5%B0%91%E5%A5%B3
52. low

    Original

    So this is how Kyon’s name came about.

    • Does Sasaki talk about the reason that "Kyon" comes about from Kyon's real name?
53. lowest

    Original

    After saying that, she picked up her mechanical pencil and started writing on the notebook

    • the notebook??? Isn't "a notebook" correct?
54. lowest
    • If we were to walk there from my middle school,
    • my middle school -> us middle school????
55. low

    Original

    After seeing the scores moving up with each passing test, my mother, who forced me into the cram school against all odds, felt gratified.

    Japanese

    持ち帰る答案用紙の点数が遠大なカウントダウンを刻んでいたことに業《ごう》を煮《に》やして有無を言わさず学習塾に放《ほう》り込んだ母親も若干《じゃっかん》胸をなで下ろしていることだろう。

56. low

    Original

    I just do not understand why must I get into the same university as her.

    • I just do not understand why I must get into the same university as her.
57. low

    Original

    bean-sized natural satellites

    • the Japanese part refers to Moon, so "bean-sized natural satellite"
      • what is "bean-sized"? small??
58. lowan implication of physical relations

    Original

    Wait, let’s not talk about whether it is wonderful or not, after all there is none.

    Japanese

    いや、爽やかじゃないようなことだってさらっさらになかったさ。

59. low too grotesque...

    Original

    In my brain, I felt as if there were a whole lot of worms inside it.

    Japanese

    頭の上に毛虫の大群が載《の》っているような奇怪《きかい》な感覚を覚える。

    Correct

    On my head, I felt as if there were a whole lot of worms on it.

60. To me

    Original

    Haruhi is walking towards us with steps that seems as if she is trying to break the ground of the quadrangle, with Asahina with her hands placed over her shoulders.

    • which does each "her" refer to Haruhi or Mikuru?
      • How is this determined?
61. low

    Original

    Because the difference in distance covered in each step is probably about five times of each other,

    Japanese

    歩幅《ほはば》に1.5［＃「1.5」は縦中横］倍ほどの差があるため、

62. To me
    • Haruhi [[simply ignored this point] and [[dragged her along] [as if she is [prey she just caught]]] and [walked towards us.]]
      • is this breakdown correct?
    • prey -> a prey???
63. high

    Original

    Showed a beautiful smile that radiated the glow of an eclipse of three major planets [TL Note: Isn’t it supposed to be darker instead? Someone check please.]

    Japanese

    やっぱり、どの角度から見ても三重連星のように輝《かがや》く核融合《かくゆうごう》じみた笑顔《えがお》だった。

    • 三重連星->multiple stars
      • from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binary_star
    • 核融合->atomic fusion/fusion of nuclei/nuclear fusion
      • from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_fusion
    • eclipse -> nuclear fusion

      status

      open

    • http://www.baka-tsuki.net/project/index.php?title=Talk:Suzumiya_Haruhi:Volume9_Prologue#Eclipse
64. low

    Original

    Koizumi and I, on the other hand, buried our heads in the messy wires coiling all over the table.

    Japanese

    俺と古泉はテーブルやケーブルの片づけプラス設置し直しに全力を尽《つ》くす。

    • The sentence means the literal meaning?? It is different from Japanese.
65. lowest
    • someone ~ed ~, ~ed ~, before ~.
    • I think this format is used a lot.
66. low

    Original

    Although she sat pretty far away from us just now, I do not think she wouldn’t have overheard my conversation with Koizumi

    Japanese

    離《はな》れてはいたものの、俺と古泉がダベっていた話を聞いていなかったとは思えないが、

    • maybe, Japanese refer to the conversation between Kyon and Koizumi in quadrangle. So Original also is wrong.
67. low

    Original

    But the emotionless face and the lips in power-saving mode of the alien humanoid interface that haven’t changed at all in the past year had always managed to bring me unlimited serenity and calmness.

    Japanese

    一年前とまったく背格好の変わらない宇宙人製アンドロイドはクールフェイスとミュートモードにした唇《くちびる》を不変のものとしていて、俺を意味なく安堵《あんど》させてくれる。

    Correct

    But the emotionless face and the lips in power-saving mode of the alien humanoid interface that haven’t changed compared to the one year brought me unlimited serenity and calmness.

    • １年間の長門の動向ではなく、今の時点の長門について記述している。
      • hehehe, to be a tease, I just write it in Japanese :D
68. lowest

    Original

    It is always better when the sea is larger and the frequency of casting a net is increased.

    Correct

    It is always better when the range of casting a net at(or "in","to"?) the sea is lager and the frequency of that is increased.

69. lowest

    Original

    Haruhi raised her slim legs that are emerging from the cheongsam,

    Correct

    Haruhi crossed her slim legs that are emerging from the cheongsam,

70. To me
    • revealing [[an expression of a person] [popular with [[children [thinking of the next game to play with them.]]]]]
71. low

    Original

    I am thinking of surveying classrooms one by one and get hold of them before other clubs do.

    Correct

    I am thinking of surveying clubrooms one by one and get hold of them before they determine to join the other clubs.

    • Does she commit to do something bad? No way! In haruhism, It is normal :p
72. low

    Original

    Let’s not say that the actual reason for having Nagato is “Wearing spectacles is so unique” kind of crap.

    Japanese

    自分の眼鏡《めがね》にかなった萌《も》えキャラだったって理由のどこがまともなんだという話だが、

    • seems that a "japanese->chinese" translator literally translated 眼鏡にかなった.
    • actually, 彼の眼鏡にかなう is a common expression.
      • 彼の眼鏡にかなう（＝気に入られる）／find favor with him; win his favor./measure up
    • the Original conflicts to the story of the volume 1.
73. To me
    • At that time, it is because the clubroom Haruhi wanted to occupy belonged to Nagato’s Literature Club that Nagato was accepted as a member.
    • At that time, because the clubroom Haruhi wanted to occupy belonged to Nagato’s Literature Club, Nagato was accepted as a member.
    • the two have the same meaning?
      • emphasizing sentence structure?
74. To me

    Original

    As for Koizumi, it is only because he is a “mysterious transfer student” in Haruhi’s terms that allowed him to enter.

    • 1:As for Koizumi, the reason that he is a “mysterious transfer student” in Haruhi’s terms allowed him to enter.
      • I think it is correct.
    • 2:As for Koizumi, it is only [because [he is a “mysterious transfer student” in [Haruhi’s terms that allowed him to enter.]]]
      • I think it is wrong.
75. To me
    • she would have insisted on attending the clubs and societies briefing and printed large volumes of SOS fliers and distributing a piece to any random person.
      • too lazy to explain
76. closed lowest

    Original

    It seems that while she planned to have SOS Brigade branches, she is still not yet willing to accept anyone that comes by.

    Correct

    It seems that while she planned to have SOS Brigade branches, she is still not yet willing to accept anyone that comes by to the head quoter of SOS Brigade.

77. To me
    • Even though we have people like Tsuruya as our Honorary Advisor, Sakanaka a non-member supporter, or when we take over clubs like what we did with the Computer Research Society, it is very unlikely that there would be new members who can join us five, who already have our roots deeply embedded in the brigade, and stay for long. This is what the current me now thinks.
    • tukareta mou yomenai

Finished!!!!!!!! :DDDDDD