Kämpfer:Volume 8.5 Chapter 3

Volume 8.5 Short Stories Chapter 3  

I often think that life can be divided into three categories: the first is a happy life, the second is an unhappy life, and the last is a particularly tragic life. Unfortunately, I fall into that last category.

Tragedy has its name, and unfortunately, my name is Natsuru Senou. Honestly, I attend a single-sex school, where opportunities to talk to girls my own age are incredibly rare. But by some twist of luck, I’ve met a woman as ferocious as a bulldog — Akane Mishima — a woman who spends her days making curry — Mikoto Kondou — and a sinister student council president — Shizuku Sangou. So what’s with all this bad luck?

And what’s more, a series of terrible events have happened in recent days. After getting into all sorts of trouble at the theme park, I was dragged to Gunma for curry, and then I got into trouble with hooligans at the Bon Festival. My life is like a slot machine that never wins. Considering my losses, at least give me a small prize!

And the most important thing is, this is just the beginning! After being dragged to school by Mikoto Kondou, misfortunes continued to ensnare me. Even more shocking was the constant grimacing of Kaede Sakura, who kept glaring at me and challenging me repeatedly. I don’t even want to think about those things; they were too terrifying. But even with her bared fangs, Kaede Sakura still held a certain allure for me.

If misfortunes were to continue like this, I’d be tempted to seek a ritual to ward off evil. I seriously considered going to a shrine for a talisman, but my recent terrifying experience there has left me with a fear of shrines.

But staying home like this wasn’t a good idea either. Besides, it was my home confinement that got me dragged out by Mikoto Kondou and caught red-handed by Akane Akizuki.

So what should I do?! Why not just get out? I’m a genius! To think I could come up with such a brilliant plan. Speaking of which, Google in the US is still hiring, right?

So, I’ve made up my mind. On this scorching summer day, with the blazing sun overhead and an empty wallet in my hands, I walked out of the house.

“Where should I go?”

Under the pervasive scorching sun, I drifted dejectedly through the streets like a nearly dried-out straw.

It was just past noon. I’d always been asleep at this time of year. And this morning, I couldn’t escape the miserable fate of eating curry again.

I had no destination in mind. I couldn’t even remember which residential corner I’d passed.

“I’d better not go in front of the station.”

It’s not that I have any prejudice against station areas, but if I wander around there, I’m more likely to be seen by someone I know. Being seen isn’t a big deal in itself, but it seems like it would easily lead to another disaster.

So, I’ll just have to go to places I’m not familiar with, but that makes it easy to get lost. If it were Mikoto Kondou, she’d definitely say, “That’s why I’m so unfamiliar with it,” and she’d have already started heading toward those places. I truly admire your fearless spirit of adventure.

I live right in the middle of the triangle formed by the Shinkansen station, the private railway station, and the subway station. The “station” I usually mention is the Shinkansen station. While the street in front of the station is bustling with people, many students from the Shinkansen Railway pass through there on their way to school.

“Let’s go toward the subway station?”

I hardly ever take the subway, so I have no idea what’s there. I remember Higashida once saying, “It seems like there are almost no shops over there.”

Who cares? Let’s just go there first. There must be some fast food restaurants.

I walked slowly toward the area. I wanted to avoid the direct sunlight, but I was worried about sweating from running, so I just walked the whole way.

It wasn’t long before the subway station sign came into view. It was closer than I thought.

I looked around.

“…There’s really nothing…”

It was exactly as Higashida had described. There were practically no shops. Besides the convenience stores you see everywhere in Japan, there wasn’t even a fast food restaurant. There was a café-like shop, but there was a “Closed” sign outside.

“It’s still so hot. What am I supposed to do?”

I looked around again and saw a used bookstore across from the traffic light. If you continued walking past it, you’d find yourself in an area where some more affluent families lived. Of course, I’d never been there before. This was a good opportunity, so I decided to go in and take a look. The shop didn’t have a sign that said “Buying books is honorable, reading them for nothing is shameful,” and it seemed to have air conditioning, which was cheaper than a fast food restaurant. The lack of chairs was a bit of a bummer, though.

When the traffic light turned green, I hurried across the street and into the shop. The cool air immediately dispelled the scorching heat that had been enveloping me, and I felt so refreshed!

I’ll go find some comics to read. Anyway, let’s challenge myself to read all of Golgo 13 (the paperback edition of this work has only reached 125 volumes so far, but the single-volume edition claims to have 356, so those with a bit of perseverance can give it a try). So, I headed toward the bookshelves where many people were standing and reading.

“Ah…”

“Wow!”

I jumped. I almost bumped into a familiar face.

The person was stunned for a moment but quickly regained their composure.

“What a coincidence, meeting here.”

“Shizuku, you’re the one! Why are you here?!”

The person I almost bumped into was the Student Council President, Shizuku Sangou. Perhaps because she was wearing casual clothes, she looked older than usual.

Shizuku looked puzzled.

“Why?”

“This kind of store… well, it doesn’t seem like the kind of place a president would frequent, right?”

“Is that so? Aren’t the books here quite cheap?”

Was it just because they were cheap? While that was certainly true, Shizuku probably went to one of those large multi-brand bookstores, right?

“It would be best to find what you want nearby, which is more convenient.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m a high school student. It’s normal to do things suitable for this age group.”

But you look more like a female celebrity or a female model now. You really came to the wrong place.

“How’s the student council going? I guess there’s nothing left to do, right?”

“I finished it before noon today. I went home for a bit, and now I’m out again.”

She was holding a book that looked so dazzling it made me dizzy. It was about accounting or something. Was this really something a high school student should read?

“Do you want to buy it?”

“Yeah. Reading is my second biggest hobby besides rakugo. It gives me a sense of self-improvement.”

I didn’t agree at all. Books with densely packed text outside of manga usually give me a headache.

I was about to make a quick getaway while Shizuku was facing the cashier.

“Please wait a moment.”

That stopped me in my tracks.

“After all, it’s so rare for us to meet. Wait there for a moment.” We just met a few days ago, after all. Even if I didn’t want to run into you at school, I’d still run into you anyway.

With that, I really couldn’t go anywhere. I decided to just wait patiently for her to buy the book.

I waited a bit longer. There weren’t many customers, but the cashier was quite slow.

After a while, Shizuku came over to me.

“Sorry for the wait.”

“It took quite a while.”

“The cashier asked if we wanted to go for tea, but I declined.”

“It’s fine if you accepted.”

This way, I could escape her clutches and go home peacefully.

“Because I said my boyfriend was waiting, he gave up.”

“Hey, where is he?”

“You.”

So that’s what happened? You’re such a hopeless idiot.

For some reason, Shizuku calls me “boyfriend” more often. “Kareshi” (that’s the Japanese pronunciation of “boyfriend,” a bit like the food additive called capsicum — pronounced Kapuseshin) — it sounds like some new food additive, but I don’t know what’s so good about it. She also uses affectionate terms for me, as if we’re dating. (I’m powerless, surrendering.)

Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve always been a Kaede Sakura supremacist, even though her supremacy has slightly weakened (good news!). Is this a punishment game or a test of penance?

Shizuku is a beauty with a great figure and a superb reputation within Seitetsu, but none of that appeals to me. After all, she doesn’t feel realistic at all. Honestly, she’s more like a perfect CG character.

Therefore, I try to keep a proper distance from her, but due to my role as Kämpfer, I occasionally find myself in the awkward position of working alongside her.

But since it’s just a simple holiday, why don’t you give me some time off and not show up in front of me even at these times?

Shizuku and I walked out of the shop side by side. Although it was completely contrary to my current mood, I unconsciously walked beside her.

“You don’t have anything important to do, do you?” Shizuku asked.

“Hey, how did you know I was bored?”

“Not really.”

“I just thought so.” Did you see through me based on your intuition? It seems I really am bored.

“There aren’t many shops around here. Come to my place.”

“Shizuku’s house… uh, is yours nearby?!”

“I told you it’s near my house. It’s over there.”

A finger pointed in the direction of the rows of mansions.

“…They live in a nice place.”

“Not that nice, though.”

That being said, it was at least much bigger than my own.

“This way.”

Even before I told her where I was going, Shizuku walked out. She seemed to expect me to just follow her.

I hesitated for a moment, then decided to follow her. If I really left her here and went back, I didn’t know what kind of torture I’d get when I got back to school. So, I’ll just explain my actions.

After walking a few streets, I gradually entered a quiet and leisurely residential area.

Before the war, this area seemed to have been developed by a private railway company as a high-end residential area. However, later, with the key railway line no longer passing through, development seemed to have stalled. Since then, it’s become a place with only a name, a place where people can’t live without significant financial resources.

The houses here are quite large. Even across the city, there aren’t many people who can afford homes like this. It’s so quiet even during the day, perhaps a typical trait of an upscale residential area.

“Turn here and you’ll arrive.”

I followed the signs and turned the street.

“That’s it.”

The house sign reading “Sangou” came into view. It was a brown house with brown walls, seemingly twice the size of my house. My father would surely burst into tears if he saw it.

She unlocked the door with her key.

“Please come in. No one’s home right now.”

For now, I just said, “Excuse me.” The house was so tidy, as if it had just been renovated.

“That’s the living room. Please go and sit down for a while.”

It was a spacious living room. There was a TV, at least 50 inches, sitting there majestically. The air conditioner was on, probably even when no one was there. What a waste of electricity.

“I’ll get some drinks. Wait a minute.”

Shizuku tossed the books she’d bought aside and headed for the kitchen. The kitchen wasn’t separated by a wall but was a structure connected to the living room.

After I sat down on the sofa, I looked around the living room again. It was not only spacious, but the ceiling was also very high. It was really a luxurious house. It was directly connected to the courtyard, and that courtyard was even wider than this one. Although they were both two-story houses, my house was incomparable to this one — it was simply a world of difference. Is this what they call the social class gap? I almost want to start a revolution.

“I didn’t buy it either.”

I realized that Shizuku was already in front of me, pouring barley tea.

“My father is a businessman. He stumbled upon success and bought this house. Investing in land is a common thing.”

“Is your father working now?”

“I suppose? He said he won’t be back for a while. He must be at his mistress’s.”

“Well…”

I nearly choked on my barley tea. Shizuku remained calm.

“Really? He introduced his mistress to me before. She’s truly beautiful.”

“After all, this must have been a joke, right?”

“Unfortunately not. It’s the truth.”

“So your mother doesn’t mind?”

“She’s a businesswoman too. She doesn’t have a lover, but she probably just enjoys her work. She’s probably shopping in Southeast Asia right now.”

“…So, Shizuku, have you always been alone?”

“It’s been pretty much like this since I started middle school.”

Shizuku took a sip of the slightly cooled barley tea. There was no pause in her movements or words.

Generally speaking, someone with such a family background wouldn’t be normal. If I were in the same shoes, I’d probably break the windows at home to find some peace of mind. But she didn’t have a single ounce of that wild impulse. No matter what troubles she encountered, she would just bottle them up and silently resolve them. What kind of mental strength is that? Honestly, a life like this must cultivate extraordinary mental strength.

But it also explains her, whether to call it eccentric or quiet. Anyway, was the air conditioning so cold earlier?

“What are you thinking about?” Shizuku asked.

“!” My heart tightened.

“It doesn’t look good.”

“What’s the matter?”

I evaded. Still, I couldn’t let her hear my feelings.

“Ah, speaking of which, Shizuku, you were auditioned for an entertainment talent show when you were little? Why didn’t you go?”

“Oh, do you want me to go?”

“I think you’d be more suited there.”

After all, she was a beauty. While it might not be appropriate for a beautiful child, with that kind of face, it wouldn’t be surprising if she appeared on TV.

“Actually, I just have no interest in going. My biggest wish is to be an ordinary high school student.”

“Everyone says you’re perfect. You’re not ordinary at all.”

“Perfect, huh?”

She seemed rather dull. Shizuku gently placed her glass on the coffee table.

“What high school students mean by ‘perfect’ is, at best, just erudition. Isn’t it just a little bit more athletic or academic?”

“Perfect marks in all subjects, athletically on par with men — where are you going to find someone like that?”

“Japan is so big, there must be a few.”

“There’s simply no such thing.”

The woman before me was already a miracle. Even if it wasn’t Kämpfer, it would be astonishing. Probably not even one in a hundred million people. Yet, she seemed unfazed.

“That’s what everyone says,” she continued in a tone of utter boredom. “She’s just a high school girl, what’s the big deal?”

“Even the teachers think highly of her.”

“Yeah. If you want to go to university, go to the University of Tokyo, or even study abroad. I’m tired of hearing so much of that.”

Speaking of which, Shizuku was already a third-year in high school. It was time to consider further studies.

“You don’t even consider my personal wishes.”

A soft sigh echoed. That’s not something you’d do.

After all, Shizuku is an impeccable person, destined to reach the pinnacle of any path. So, for her, careers in entertainment and academia aren’t particularly special. But it’s true that these paths aren’t her own aspirations so much as expectations. While there’s nothing wrong with pursuing one’s own goals, even that alone would be out of reach for someone as mediocre as me.

Anyway, I’d better ask first.

“What do you want to do in the future, Shizuku?”

“What do you think?”

“Don’t make me guess… storyteller?”

“That’s not very promising for women.”

“Try modeling?”

“I’m not interested in showing myself off.”

“Then I have no idea.”

I don’t even know much about my own affairs, let alone talking about other people’s.

“If you really want to say…” Shizuku chuckled. “A bride, huh?”

“…What are you talking about?”

A strong sense of surprise hit me. Isn’t this the wish of those lower-grade elementary school girls? Your alternative answers should at least include politicians and dictators.

“Not surprising at all. It’s a very common wish among girls.”

“And that common includes you?”

If a little girl said this, it would definitely be cute, but when Shizuku said it, it felt like the sentence itself was distorted. It was really confusing.

“Whether it’s included or not, I have thought about it seriously.”

“Who is the other party?”

Shizuku burst into laughter happily. “Who is it?”

“It’s meaningless without a man.”

“That’s true. Actually, there is one.”

“Please give him my deepest condolences.”

I forced the subject to change. I always feel that there is a bad omen.

Shizuku smiled bitterly and filled my glass with barley tea. She has gradually become able to laugh recently. Maybe this has something to do with her high position.

“…Well, since she has become Kämpfer, there is no telling what she will become in the future.”

I completely agree with this. It’s not just Shizuku, but Akane, Mikoto Kondou, and I are all facing this problem. Not to mention the White Kämpfer Army is here to mess things up.

“Speaking of which, Natsuru-kun.”

“Hmm?”

I said while chewing on some ice. “Are you still free from now on?”

“Almost.”

There’s nothing special to do besides daydreaming, so I guess that’s what I call free. I don’t have the money to travel. I’ve used up all my money in Gunma.

“Have you been doing nothing since you came back from the theme park?”

“No. I went out.”

“You went on a trip, didn’t you?”

“No… does going to Gunma count as traveling?”

Shizuku grabbed hold of the words I finally said.

“Gunma Prefecture? Do you have relatives there?”

“No. I was invited there.”

It wasn’t something I needed to hide, so I explained it directly. Shizuku seemed normal.

“…Can I ask you something?”

“What do you want to ask?”

“Who did you go with?”

“Kondou Mikoto.” (Anger +40)

There was a clang (the sound of glassware colliding), and Shizuku angrily put the glass in her hand heavily on the table. I don’t know if she did it on purpose, but it was really a loud sound.

The tea on the table spread out.

“Hey, the tea is spilled.”

Shizuku didn’t seem to care at all. Didn’t you even notice that the tea was spilled?

“What did you do with Kondou-san? Where did you stay?”

“Nothing special. I came back the same day.”

“It’s impossible for me to come back without doing anything.”

Why are you so obsessed with this? I don’t remember fishing with bait.

“I just went to eat curry. That guy dragged me there anyway.”

“I’ll make you as much curry as you want. Is that really all?”

“Just… ah.”

A scene surfaced from the depths of my memory, the one that happened after I’d been fed a large amount of curry.

“What?”

Shizuku leaned slightly closer to me. I’d rarely seen her react like that.

“…Nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing. Answer me.”

This was exactly like a police interrogation, the way they always use it when they’re trying to get to the bottom of things. This way, regardless of whether you’ve actually committed a crime, you have to say something. This is a perfect breeding ground for false accusations.

“Even if you want me to answer…”

“What did I do?”

“Not do it, but I was kissed. I was kissed…”

Ah~~, but I finally said it.

Shizuku’s expression didn’t change. Of course, it wasn’t like Akane’s sudden transformation. It felt like the atmosphere had shifted a bit, but then it suddenly returned to normal.

“Huh… Natsuru-kun and Kondou-san kissed.”

She slumped down onto the sofa, crossing her arms. Somehow, I panicked.

“Oh, that was probably… maybe just an accident, a simple one.”

“That girl, was it her first kiss?”

“It seems… yes.”

“That first kiss was with Natsuru. Kondou-san must be so happy right now.”

Suddenly, they were calling me Natsuru. What’s going on?

Even if I wanted to protest, the atmosphere made it impossible for me to utter a word.

“Who knows how she felt?”

“When Natsuru and I kissed, I was so happy.”

“…”

So, my first kiss was taken by this guy. Is your attitude any different from a rapist bragging about his exploits?

“How did you feel then?”

And you’re asking me how I felt.

I didn’t feel anything. The only thing I have to say is that the kiss tasted of curry. Mikoto Kondou expressed the same sentiment as me. After all, we’d just had curry.

Shizuku still folded her arms and stared at me. Thanks to you, I didn’t even dare to reach for the barley tea cup. Why did I have to show weakness like this? After all, it’s my freedom to kiss whomever I want. Honestly, it would be great if it was Kaede Sakura.

“Um, Shizuku…”

“Childhood sweethearts are the best.”

Why did she suddenly bring up such a bizarre thing?

“It just closed the distance between us. I wish I were Natsuru’s childhood sweetheart.”

I was completely bewildered. I wanted to live in a house like this.

She still kept her arms folded. But she had the air of a businessman strategizing.

“…Even if my boyfriend has become a little frivolous, I don’t want to be discouraged, but I still need to resort to this trick…”

“What are you talking about?”

“…It seems that no matter what I do, I can’t stop getting angry. Oh no, what if I get disliked…”

Her words were shrouded in mystery. In short, Shizuku’s mental state is not very stable. It’s obvious that your nerves are thicker than the chains of the iron chain bridge over the Dadu River.

If you look closely, you can see that her fingers are still tapping rhythmically on her elbows, but it doesn’t look like she’s using a transmitter to transmit telegrams. Maybe she’s tapping the rhythm of her heart rate. Her feet, too, seem to be shaking too much — be careful not to shake them off.

“…Uh, um, are you angry?”

“No.”

“You just mentioned the word ‘anger’…”

“That’s true.”

Wow. I feel like the words aren’t quite right.

Hey, gaze! Your gaze could kill. I’ve tried so hard not to do anything bad, yet I still feel this sense of being criticized from all sides. It’s like that feeling in elementary school when I was the class representative for handwriting practice but ended up being told to “take it back and rewrite it.”

“Natsuru.”

“Hey, at least you have to give me my last name…”

“Natsuru.”

“…Here.”

I was completely overwhelmed by this force. Face to face with this guy, I always feel more desperate than a fly facing insecticide.

“Are you going on a date just because you’re childhood friends?”

“You were bewitched by the curry.”

“Do you really like curry that much?”

Actually, it’s not that I like it. It’s Mikoto Kondou who’s pushing me into it. Isn’t it the same with you, Shizuku?

Why is everyone always plotting to drag me somewhere? Someone please tell me why! Is there a bounty for dragging me far away?! That’s not called a date, it’s called kidnapping!!

Shizuku sighed.

“…It’s so hard to surpass an innocent childhood sweetheart.”

“What do you mean by surpassing? Are you trying to start a war?!”

“Almost. Kondou is a formidable foe… Is this the end?”

“If you really want to say it’s over, it should be considered the end.”

Shizuku didn’t miss the hint of turbidity in my tone.

“Don’t tell me what else happened, will you?”

“With Kondou Mikoto… pretty much… just… ah, and with Akane.”

“Akane-san? How many other girls were you planning on hitting on?”

“No, not really! It was just a once-in-a-lifetime thing, nothing at all. We just went to the Bon Dance yesterday.”

“Oh, so it was hosted by that Hoshitoyo Shrine?”

“You’re quite clear. We just went together.”

“What did you do?”

Her eyes seemed to have grown sharper. At first glance, she might not seem any different from usual, but this guy’s gaze was fixed on you like a bunch of needles piercing you. A bottom would have been delighted.

“Anything…”

“Don’t tell me you and Akane-san kissed, did you?”

“No, not really. But it almost happened.”

Oh no, I’d accidentally let out the truth.

Shizuku nearly sighed once again. The reason she didn’t let out a sigh was probably because of her strong mental strength.

“Really, that’s so annoying.”

I don’t care. If I could be hated by you, Shizuku, I’d be going back to celebrate.

“It’s not what you imagine now. It’s the difficult situation. I’m almost cursing myself.”

I have no interest in cursing myself. Although I do want to curse my own stupidity, to be honest, I think it happens all the time.

“Childhood sweethearts and hobbies… aren’t I the most backward?”

“Hey, what are you talking about? It’s completely incomprehensible.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to understand.”

I feel like this is a subtle way of saying I’m stupid.

“Just getting a first kiss doesn’t seem to be enough. We need some other means.”

Can you please not say such terrifying things so lightly? The ominous premonition that my life is about to be taken away lingers in my heart.

While Shizuku wouldn’t actually kill me, I’ve heard of similar incidents. Rumor has it that two years ago, there was a teacher at Seitetsu Academy with a terrible personality, extremely prejudiced, and even sexually harassed female students. This was just a replay of that teacher’s behavior. After a student came to discuss a matter, Shizuku said, “Just a moment,” and left early that day. The next day, she demanded the resignation of the aforementioned teacher. Shizuku must have done something behind the scenes, gathering rumors and evidence to make her request to the principal. It was precisely because of this resignation that the current student council system was established, which is truly remarkable. While the teacher would have likely been persuaded to resign even if she had let it go, it was precisely because of this incident that he was arrested for molestation six months later.

But I wouldn’t want to go through the same experience myself. At least I’d be charged with sexual harassment, right?

She sipped her tea silently. She knew that for now, my life wasn’t in danger. Huh~~.

Shizuku turned her head and looked out the window. I followed her gaze, only to see a crimson sun setting. Is it already evening? Time flies.

I averted my gaze, but Shizuku kept gazing into the distance.

“Are you watching the birds flying by?”

“…That’s terrible.”

“What?”

“Maybe we’re being watched.”

“!” My heart tightened. What did you just say? We’re being watched?!

“Who’s watching this house?”

“That’s what I feel.”

“…Could it be the White Kämpfer?”

“Very likely.”

This was truly troublesome. So far, fighting between Kämpfers has avoided breaking out in anyone’s home. The only exception was the incident at the Sakura residence, but even then, no major altercation ensued. We had no intention of taking advantage of the situation to engage in a fight. It was like there was an unspoken ceasefire. Without such a rule, the conflict would surely escalate, ultimately erupting into a war of mass destruction involving chemical or nuclear weapons.

Where is the enemy? When I raised my guard, Shizuku, who noticed this, seemed relieved.

“Shizuku, if we don’t contact Akane, Mikoto Kondou, and the others quickly…”

“Why did you call them here?”

“It’s better to have more people.”

“Ah, that’s true.” (What a tragedy…)

She glanced at the clock. Well, there wasn’t a hint of tension.

“It’ll be too late if we don’t make dinner.”

She stood up as she spoke. Yeah, that’s true; she’s home alone, just like me. But is now the time to do all this?!

“Isn’t the White Kämpfer going to care?”

“What does Natsuru want to eat?”

She suddenly posed the question.

“…Since you’re already making dinner, I won’t bother you.”

“Natsuru, eat before you leave.”

Uh, don’t make it sound so matter-of-fact.

“I’m sorry. Besides, there are enemies…”

“It’s not a problem for me. We’re all alone, so what’s the big deal?”

“We have some left at home.”

“It’s just curry, right?”

Yes, absolutely. It seems I’ve got it in my grasp. I’m like a butterfly caught in a spider’s web.

“Let’s go, let’s go buy dinner together.”

“Me too?”

“You won’t move unless I tell you to?”

It’s not that I have to, but I just feel uncomfortable letting you do whatever you want. Then there’s the issue of the White Kämpfer nearby, which I’ve mentioned so many times.

But even if I bring it up righteously, it goes in one ear and out the other. So I just obediently obey her orders.

The supermarket isn’t nearby, so we have to walk quite a distance. It’s in the opposite direction of the subway station.

“Isn’t it inconvenient to go so far to buy things?”

“Everyone here drives.”

So that’s why we can’t drive yet.

Shizuku glanced around like a warning light after leaving the store, but finally stopped when she reached her destination. Perhaps the enemy had left.

The supermarket was surprisingly large. Perhaps to accommodate the residents’ lifestyle, it only stocks high-end ingredients. While there were some cheaper items, they were all tucked away.

Shizuku placed the shopping basket on the cart, and the responsibility of pushing it seemed to fall naturally on my shoulders.

“Am I a follower?”

“Rather, I’m the husband of a newlywed couple, right?”

Don’t talk about such scary things.

“There might be enemies along the way, so I’ll leave the ingredients in the basket to you.”

It seems that this basket of ingredients is more important than me.

Leaving the vegetable section, we headed toward the meat and fish sections. She skillfully placed the selected ingredients into the basket.

“Do you come here often?”

“Yeah. I think it’s better not to overstuff the fridge.”

“Student Council matters stay up late, don’t you? You really have time to cook for yourself.”

“Even if it’s called the student council, it’s just that. I think that while the student council and student rights at Seitetsu are much greater than at other schools, and therefore the affairs are more numerous and complex, it’s still far less than those of professionals in their jobs.”

I’ve always admired your realism. I’ve never felt any sense of grandeur or significance in anything I do. Everyone knows this about being a student, right? Even though I said that, I’d never thought the same way.

“If we cut corners a little, dinner could be ready sooner.”

“So I was slacking off today.”

“Well, who knows?”

Her words seemed to imply something.

Shizuku bought pork tenderloin and what seemed like a lot of seasonings. And there was a bunch more.

I just felt like it was way too much. Two people couldn’t finish it.

“Does Natsuru prefer Japanese food?”

“Not really.”

“Then let’s just leave it at that.”

There were a lot of people with children in the supermarket, and as expected, they were all choosing ingredients in the same way. A little boy, who was probably in kindergarten, asked, “What are those big brothers?” The woman next to him who looked like his mother replied, “They’re called newlyweds.” I almost had a heart attack when I heard this conversation. Please stop talking nonsense! Are there newlyweds in the world who are that young?!

“…Come to think of it, Shizuku.”

“What? Want some candy?”

“Am I in elementary school?! …Let’s buy some. I’m not talking about this! What about the enemies?”

“It seems like there might be.”

“Stop saying ‘it seems like’! You don’t even know where they’re going to attack from, do you?”

“It doesn’t matter. They won’t attack anyway.”

“It’s entirely possible!”

“No way. After all, it’s not the White Kämpfer.”

What did you just say? Wasn’t it?!

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m not kidding. The surveillance thing is real.”

“What do you mean?”

Shizuku pointed behind me.

“That’s what I mean.”

“Huh… Yeah~, Masumi.”

As the representative of the three-person group, Masumi Nishino made a V sign and greeted me.

I froze in my tracks at this shocking news. I’m sure everyone can understand, and it wasn’t my fault at all. I’d known for a while that these three people from Class 4, Grade 2, Girls’ Department, were often elusive, but how could they even appear in this supermarket?

“I’ve always found Natsuru-san unbelievable.”

The spokesperson shifted to another classmate.

“My house is diagonally across from the student council president’s.”

“…Huh?”

“So, they’ve been watching you since you first walked over.”

I glanced in Shizuku’s direction.

“So, you felt like you were being watched before…”

“That’s what happened.”

Uwaa… After all, we just met in Gunma Prefecture the day before yesterday. I thought I wouldn’t have to see your faces again until summer vacation was over!

“Shizuku, you know Masumi’s house is across the street from yours, right?”

“Of course I do,” she said matter-of-factly.

“At least explain it to me…”

“Why explain it to the male Natsuru?”

The “male” was emphasized. Indeed, it would seem strange not to say it here. But why didn’t she tell me when we were alone? She must have been thinking things like, “Because you didn’t ask,” or “You assumed you knew.” Or maybe she was just preparing to enjoy my grief as I sighed to the sky. The latter seems most likely.

Masumi Nishino and the other two silently watched me, like a mute swallowing bitter herbs — a me who couldn’t express my pain.

“But putting aside Shizuku, Natsuru-san is truly surprising.”

“Yeah, Natsuru-san is always surprising.”

“It smells like money.”

Masumi, can’t you just go a day without mentioning money?

Now that things have come to this, there’s no way I can escape. It took all my willpower to suppress the urge to make the excuse, “I’m being exploited like a slave by Shizuku, claiming I owe you money.” If that’s accepted, it’ll be a real problem.

“It seems the rumors are true,” Masumi said.

Just in case, I’ll go ask.

“…Are your ‘rumors’ really…”

“The rumors that Shizuku and Natsuru are dating.”

“Uh, that’s…”

“That’s right,” Shizuku admitted without hesitation. Ah~~~!

“Shizuku, it’s time to stop it!”

“No matter how hard you try, it can’t be hidden anymore.”

“What’s the point of hiding it…”

“Is that really the case?”

Masumi nodded deeply, as if to say, “Exactly as I thought.”

“I got a text from Kaede Sakura saying ‘Shizuku Sangou has a boyfriend.’ It was so shocking that I rushed to the news department for an emergency meeting, not even caring that it was summer vacation. If they found out it’s the male version of Natsuru-san, more people would probably be shocked.”

It would definitely be a surprise. If I weren’t the subject of the rumor, I would be struck by lightning.

“At first, I thought he was a banker or an official.”

Another classmate looked quite happy. She’s always been a person who likes to cause chaos, so she must be overjoyed by now.

“It’s a huge financial deficit. The underground gambling world is about to undergo a new round of reshuffle.”

Is it a new gambling this time? By the way, is Shizuku’s boyfriend really that popular?

“Come to think of it…” Masumi stared at us both. “Are you two here shopping?”

“Yes.”

“Hehe. The venue is a supermarket, the items are all food, and it’s dinner time. So?”

“Natsuru is having dinner at Shizuku’s house!” another classmate laughed heartily. She seemed to be saying, “Natsuru, you pervert,” but I don’t think I qualify as such a nickname.

Masumi said with admiration, “It’s already like this.”

“Yes,” Shizuku immediately confirmed.

“Either of us is home alone. Isn’t it inevitable that it would turn out this way?”

“So Shizuku took the responsibility of preparing dinner?”

“That’s right.”

What do you mean by that? You’re just making things even more chaotic, aren’t you?! Hey, won’t anyone listen to my explanation?

“Um, Shizuku.”

“What, Natsuru?”

Faced with such a gentle tone, I could only swallow the rest of my words.

“As expected, you’re calling each other by name.”

“Nickname, you look so charming!”

“What’s Natsuru-san’s name again?” Wow, the three of them looked like they’d discovered a new toy. If this keeps up, I’ll be dead before the new semester starts. Perhaps the best thing to do right now is to get out of here and find someplace to calm down.

“Will you guys come to dinner too?”

Shizuku asked again.

Masumi asked, looking surprised. “Is that okay? We’re probably going to be the third wheel, right?”

“Sure. We were planning to peek in from across the street anyway, right?”

“It’s not good to spy on other people’s homes anyway. I was just watching you guys coming in and out.”

“Come eat together. It’s not a big deal.”

The three of them happily accepted the invitation.

This “together” definitely includes me, so there’s no need to double-check.

I left the supermarket feeling four times worse than when I entered. If I were with Kaede Sakura, this would be a trip to heaven, but now I’m just in the deepest depths of hell. A tombstone could drop from the sky and crush me to death at any moment.

The five of us marched in formation toward Shizuku’s house. On the way, I overheard their conversation and learned that Masumi Nishino and the others had returned from Gunma yesterday and were at another classmate’s house today for a summary meeting. So, what was your summary meeting about?

Then, I accidentally witnessed me and Shizuku walking home together, and that’s when the trouble began. The summary meeting was immediately suspended and surveillance was swiftly put into place.

“You just went to Gunma with Kondou-san, and you’re back and immediately getting hot with Shizuku. Natsuru-san is truly something to be reckoned with,”

Masumi said with deep emotion. “I really wish you wouldn’t pay so much attention to me.”

Then again, normally, a woman would think a man is flirtatious and cause a big stir, but these three didn’t. It seems my previous actions were just like the courtship of insects to them. In a way, this helped me a lot.

Masumi and the others went back to the classmate’s house for a bit, but then left right away.

Shizuku’s house still felt spacious, even with three more people. Presumably, the classmate’s place felt much the same.

“Let’s start cooking! Anyone want to help?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll do it!”

“Please let me help too.”

In the end, it seemed like all three of them were helping with the cooking. Judging from this, they really were girls. Even Masumi, who usually bought questionable food, was cooking today. They all wore aprons. Hey, everyone’s dressed so nicely, what’s going on?

This kitchen could easily accommodate four or five people without feeling cramped. Everything was electric, a stark contrast to the fumes and roaring noises of an old-fashioned kitchen.

In the blink of an eye, the ingredients were prepped and ready to go. I was still wondering if there was anything I could do to help, but it seemed like they even took care of getting the dishes out of the kitchen and onto the table. It really made me feel a little embarrassed about my own uselessness. Besides, I was just a useless man who didn’t even have the courage to run away.

The rice cooker beeped. Speaking of which, I have no idea when the rice was even cooked.

“There’s rice, but it’s basically a Chinese dinner,” Shizuku said. “And there’s no miso soup; they’re using egg soup instead.”

So, that smell is from Chinese seasoning?

Another classmate scooped up the rice too. Once again, I was completely unhelpful. I might as well just go and reflect on my mistakes.

The table was filled with lavish dishes. Shredded pork with green peppers, braised pork, spring rolls, Chinese salad, soup, and rice.

Even with so many hands on deck, it’s still quite astonishing how much they could whip up. There wasn’t a single ordinary, home-cooked meal; it was almost as good as ordering at a restaurant.

“Shizuku cooks most of it,” Masumi exclaimed. “She’s truly amazing. Not only is she skilled, but she’s also a master at cooking.”

“Who knew?”

“And she’s so thoughtful of you, Natsuru-san is truly blessed.”

How many times have I told you I’m not dating her?

The drinks were ready: barley tea and bottled juice. I’d been wondering if she made the juice herself, but on second thought, it probably wasn’t.

“Please, let’s eat.”

Shizuku took off her apron. Everyone sat down at the table.

The girls were quite lively when they ate. The three from Class 4, second grade, had also changed their impression. Although they still looked like flickering candlelight against fluorescent lights, they certainly added to the lively atmosphere at the table. The only man, however, was confined to a corner, sipping his egg drop soup in solitude. Besides, Kaede Sakura wasn’t there.

“Come to think of it…” Masumi asked, chewing on a spring roll. “When did Natsuru-san start dating Shizuku?”

So she finally arrived? Girls really love these kinds of topics.

“When did it start, exactly?”

“Why did Shizuku agree?”

“Well, you answer that.”

When did it start? … Actually, they’re not even dating now!

But Masumi looked so excited; she wouldn’t believe me even if I denied such a relationship.

“According to my theory, it should have been a little before the final exams,”

Masumi said, pulling out a handbook.

“According to the records of the Bishoujo Research Club and the ‘Scolded by Shizuku Sangou-sama’s Club,’ Shizuku visited Class 4, Second Year, Boys’ Division, a little before the cultural festival. However, she was with Kaede Sakura at the time, so the possibility of them dating is extremely low.”

How did you get hold of such information? You don’t even have any qualms about mentioning the names of these illegal clubs in front of Shizuku? Ah, I can’t take it anymore. Too many complaints!

“And around this time, first-year student Kondou Mikoto also returned to school. Now that I think about it, that’s a very high possibility of a fire starting.”

“What are you talking about!” “Fire starting?”

She’s talking about it as if it were a massive fire during the Edo period. Hurry and call the fire department.

“From what I imagine, it’ll probably be a little later.”

Another classmate gulped down the bottle of Coke in one gulp. I’d said I’d prepare a bottle of Coke for myself, and it turns out it was all about this.

“When Shizuku gets busy with work, the male version of Natsuru takes advantage of the situation. It’s very common.”

“No way!”

“When the student council gets busy lately… it’s around the cultural festival. We started dating around the end of the festival, right? What do you think?”

“Wrong answer. My relationship with Shizuku…”

“What a pity.”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence before Shizuku’s words were cut short.

“We kissed then. But unfortunately, that’s all.”

Ah~~~, the three of them started to stir. “Can you please stop screaming so femininely?” Rather than that, what exactly do you mean by “regret”?

Another classmate leaned forward.

“Just kissing? Really just that?”

“We went on dates, too.”

“What else? What else?”

“And I got pushed down.” Another “Ahhhhh!” scream. I’m the one who wants to scream the most, right?!

“Natsuru did push someone down! What a prodigy!”

“Rape happened.”

Masumi, can you please stop being so blunt?! At this point, I finally managed to utter the words.

“I didn’t forcefully push someone down!”

“The word ‘push down’ already carries the connotation of ‘force,’”

Masumi retorted calmly. Even so.

“But Natsuru pushed me down, even though I had just gotten out of the shower,”

Shizuku added.

“That counts as an assault, doesn’t it?”

“But I didn’t do anything!”

“You just took off my clothes.”

Another scream. Damn it! All three of them were speaking in accusatory tones, yet why were their eyes so gleaming?

“Has the lust finally unleashed?”

“Ah~~, that must have been rape!”

“Natsuru-san ripped Shizuku’s clothes.”

Hey, what are you talking about?! What was wrong with that last part?

“It wasn’t ripped. Shizuku took it off herself!”

“Because if you don’t take it off under threat, you’ll be treated even more cruelly.”

“How could I ever threaten you?!”

However, Masumi and the others didn’t believe me. It’s more like they weren’t prepared to believe me from the beginning. When presented with a pair, they always choose to make things even more complicated.

“Natsuru-san is unexpectedly violent…”

Masumi wrote in her notepad. Hey, don’t tell me you’re writing this down and selling it, are you?!

“You want me to help you spread the word that you’re just a victim of domestic violence, Shizuku?”

“That’s one way to express your love. Just let me help him correct it.”

Why did I have to assume we were in a relationship?!

I took a deep breath. One against four was really not in my favor. It seemed I couldn’t help but gather my strength to get to the bottom of this.

“Everyone, listen to me. I don’t have a specific girlfriend!”

“No, but I do have girlfriends.”

“Something like figurines?”

Masumi and the others were just talking nonsense. Absolutely not. I have no interest in figurines or anything like that!

“Don’t mess around. My dream girl… is Kaede Sakura!”

I’d originally planned on making a shocking confession, but the audience’s reaction was a bit indifferent.

“So what?”

“Hello, Natsuru, that’s boring.”

“According to a reliable survey by the Bishoujo Research Association, 22% of the boys have a crush on Kaede Sakura. That’s tied with Shizuku’s 24%, and that statistic excludes people who admire both.”

But whenever the class debate breaks out, “Who would you choose for your girlfriend, Kaede Sakura or Shizuku Sangou?” I always strongly support Kaede Sakura. It’s a clear fact that Shizuku’s beauty and gentleness are on a different level! But I feel like Kaede Sakura’s been calling me out lately and telling me some really weird things… Anyway, for me, my deep love for Kaede Sakura is one of my most important personal traits. Even if it’s been getting a lot of flak lately, I’ll stick to this belief!

“Kaede Sakura isn’t around right now,”

another classmate said, instantly crushing my innocent feelings.

“That woman doesn’t choose anyone in particular as her boyfriend. Shouldn’t you be happier about being Shizuku’s boyfriend?”

“Not really. I’ve always been…”

“Speaking of the past, what about Kondou-san?” Masumi next to me covered her mouth with her hands.

“You went on a date in Gunma, right?”

“Can that even be called a date?”

“You even kissed.”

My heart tightened. Hey, what are you talking about?!

“Uh, that was…”

“A kiss,”

Masumi answered, somehow adopting the tone of a detective interrogating a criminal.

I glanced at Shizuku, and to my surprise, she remained as calm as ever.

“You and Kondou-san were childhood sweethearts, weren’t you?”

“More or less.”

“That trip to Gunma just happened the day before yesterday. Have you already abandoned her?”

“How could I abandon her?!”

“That means you’re two-timing her. I’m impressed.”

But I don’t think you’re that surprised. It’s more like you’re feeling the personal satisfaction of getting the answer you wanted. Besides, that’s not actually the case.

Masumi reached for her bag.

“Actually, I had these photos with me before.”

“Stop it, you idiot!” I cried in my heart, but I couldn’t say it out loud. It was too late.

She pulled out a photo of me and Kondou Mikoto kissing.

“See, Shizuku, it’s just like this, so tender.”

Shizuku took the photo. I gasped, expecting my hair to burst into flames.

But she simply stared at the photo with a blank expression.

“It’s a beautiful photo.”

“It’s just a great way to snap it. I really studied the light and shadow for this.”

Is that really the case? Even the seating area is designated.

Shizuku stared at the photo intently, looking like a science scholar.

“The tongue is stuck in there, right?”

“Who knows?”

No, it wasn’t.

“Can I take this photo?”

“Please. I’ll print out as many as you want.”

Why would you take it? Don’t tell me you’re collecting some weird collection.

Even so, she maintained her composure. Even Masumi would find this a bit suspicious, right?

“How about this? Take this photo.”

“I won’t use this photo to curse her.”

“Aren’t you angry?”

“Yeah, I’m a little jealous.”

Shizuku quickly finished her dinner.

“If you can’t be a little tolerant of your boyfriend’s frivolity, you’ll be unqualified.”

This made Masumi and the others exclaim in astonishment.

“Do you have to go to that extent?”

“Shizuku, that’s just letting a man go?!”

“What you just said can’t be omitted; it must be saved in the database.”

Shizuku, as usual, showed no unusual change, no signs of excitement.

“Kondou-san is my childhood sweetheart. I can’t do anything about the fact that she’s in a favorable position. Rather, if it’s just a kiss between her and Natsuru, I’ll turn a blind eye.”

“Maybe she’ll kiss Kondou-san too?” another classmate asked.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Really?!”

“After all, I’m the one we’re dating.”

Where does this confident tone come from?

She’s been so calm and composed so far. It’s hard to say yet, but what would become of her if she became a businessman? She’d definitely become a speculator who never loses money. With that attitude alone, she’d be able to raise funds from clients.

“Wow, Natsuru is really popular.”

Everyone nodded in agreement at another classmate’s statement.

“Anyone who can make Shizuku Sangou achieve this must be the happiest person in Seitetsu. She’s truly impressive. If word leaks to the men’s club, it’ll be hell.”

And not just hell, it’s death on the spot. Please keep your mouth shut.

But honestly, I’m the unluckiest, right? I never wanted to be this popular. Looking back, I realize my popularity with women stems from the fact that I’m a woman, but is that truly a good thing? It’s more likely to make me cry my heart out more each night. On the other hand, it’s a perfect topic for the women. Even the usually calm Masumi gets excited when talking about it.

“But what do you think is good about this, Shizuku?” Masumi asked.

“What do you mean by ‘what’?”

“About Natsuru-san.”

“You don’t need a reason to like someone,”

she replied, just like she did before.

“But, honestly, there are some good things about the Natsuru school.”

“How do you put it?”

“I’m sure you all know this, but the people at Seitetsu, whether students or teachers, don’t really treat me like a student.”

“That’s true.”

“It’s not a big deal, but it still makes me feel a little uncomfortable.”

But I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.

I repeat, Shizuku, you’re a perfect warrior. Not only are you perfect, but you face every challenge head-on and are trusted by everyone. Leaving student matters in her care is guaranteed to yield excellent results. While there are occasional failures, you’re always sure to minimize dissatisfaction. You’re quite an expert at being a “troubleshooter.”

Anyone who has accumulated so many accomplishments would be proud of it, right? However, I, for one, have always maintained a certain level of pride, saying, “I’m just a high school student.” Furthermore, your unwavering composure earns everyone’s trust.

“I’m just a third-year high school student. But everyone says I’m the ‘all-powerful president’ and the ‘perfect person’ and all that. Everyone uses honorifics with me, and I don’t even get a chance to chat with them normally.”

“Third-years are the oldest, after all,”

she blurted out. Shizuku simply shrugged.

“Even my classmates are like that. The boys call me ‘Shizuku-sama,’ like I’m a deity at some shrine. Even talking to them requires a whole host of gestures.”

After all, there are so many students who adore Shizuku. The “Shizuku Sangou-sama Scolded Club” is the most famous, and there seems to be an underground movement that visits Shizuku’s classroom several times a day to pay homage. Is this some kind of religion?

“But when I talk to Natsuru, I don’t have that feeling at all.”

“Well, I do act humble too.”

“As for you, you don’t admire me, do you?”

“That’s nonsense.”

“That’s more than enough. I’m surrounded by people who don’t even have a normal atmosphere.”

I always find it hard to understand. If I were admired like this, I would definitely be complacent and act like a king.

“I see, I understand.”

Masumi sighed. Another classmate also took out a notebook and scribbled something, probably preparing to write down the information to resell to Higashida.

“Does Shizuku think that the current relationship with Natsuru-san is ideal?”

“I want him to call me by my name.”

I screamed in my mind. This is Shizuku all along. All I could say was “Shizuku,” after all, she was the president anyway.

“Anything else you’re dissatisfied with?”

“If I really have to say,” Shizuku said after a moment’s thought, “Your kissing skills are terrible.”

Uwaaa! I was even more shocked than the three of them. Oh no, my face felt like it was burning.

“Ah~~! Natsuru’s face is getting redder and redder!”

Another classmate stared at me with wide eyes.

“How is it red?!”

“If it’s that bad, just practice a little bit.”

“Oh, I see. So you went to practice with Kondou-kun.”

Masumi just kept explaining it to herself, and she actually accepted it!

“Uwaaa~~, Natsuru isn’t human!!”

“Humanoid trash.”

Who are you calling trash?! What are you all saying?!

How am I supposed to resolve this misunderstanding now? It seemed like these three people had already started to compile their own delusional scripts in their heads. I was dating Kondou Mikoto, using her as a practice partner, and secretly keeping close to Shizuku. What kind of plot is this?! I wonder how disastrous the ratings will be.

Even if I flatly deny all this now, it’s probably useless. As a man, I guess all I can do is cry silently into my pillow while sleeping. Is this considered sexual harassment?

The food on the table is dwindling, but I haven’t eaten anything yet. These women have such big appetites; I’m probably the only one with a slim figure.

Shizuku has finished, and the other three look very satisfied. And I, who didn’t eat anything at all, don’t feel hungry at all.

They talked about dessert. Why did you bring the cake from home, Masumi? Speaking of which, when did you go back?

“Natsuru-san, have some too.”

“I’ll have spring rolls.”

At least I can’t just go along with it; I have to resist a little.

“Hehe, you just want to eat Shizuku’s homemade food.”

“Then I’ll take the cake.”

I take back what I said. There really isn’t room for error.

Another classmate brought the cake out of the freezer. It was a strawberry cream cake.

“Does Natsuru like sweet things?”

“Yeah.”

It’s not like we’re drinking, so it’s fine.

“What if it’s the female Natsuru?”

“She’d probably like it too, right?”

After all, it’s me. If I’m told to eat, I’ll eat. Once I’m in female form, I’m always easily tempted by sweets, which is really giving me a headache.

“Come to think of it, doesn’t the female Natsuru also like the male Natsuru?”

“There’s a rumor about that,”

Masumi quickly flipped open the notebook to confirm. A closer look revealed a calculator. This must be the data source she was talking about.

“It’s mainly around the men’s club. In the women’s club, the saying ‘Natsuru-sama wouldn’t be interested in an ordinary guy like that’ is prevalent, and there’s a strong tendency to ignore them.”

“I see…”

This is the first time I’ve heard this. Of course, I understand. Compared to the immense popularity of my female counterpart in the women’s club, I didn’t expect my male counterpart to be so completely ignored. Is he disliked?

“But if one of the three beauties of Seitetsu has set her sights on the male counterpart of Natsuru-san, that’s a tough test for Shizuku, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think so,”

Shizuku replied. That’s obvious.

“I don’t mind it.”

“Is that what they call ‘a little frivolity is okay’?”

“More or less.”

“But the female counterpart of Natsuru is truly a beauty.”

“Yeah, I can’t even compare to her in that respect.”

Ah! Why are you still smiling so softly?! Anyone would be so calm if they knew the whole story.

Another classmate bent their fingers and began counting.

“Then Natsuru is three-timing.”

“I’m not happy at all!”

Shizuku, Kondou Mikoto, and the female version of me. What do you think I should be happy about?

“She’s really pretty.”

“Well, as for me… I’m not interested in her.”

“Three-timing! You do whatever you want!!”

“Stop talking about three-timing! I’m a pure heart.”

“You’re still saying that after all this time. Are you trying to get us to praise your popularity?”

“I never thought about that!!”

“Since it’s already like that, why are you having another one?”

What kind of bad personality do you have?! Should I say it’s that kind of thing, the type who cheers for a typhoon to land. Speaking of which, there’s a rumor that another classmate always opens the window to observe the sky when it thunders.

“Don’t make me sound like an octopus, okay?”

“Are you not on good terms with our Akane?”

“…Is that so?”

“People often see her talking to you.”

She seems so careless, yet so perceptive. It seems she’s certainly not to be underestimated. I feigned calm.

“Ah, you’re talking about the girl on the library committee. I was at the circulation desk talking to her about borrowing books.”

“Someone else said they saw you two together on the way home from school.”

Being seen would be really bad. Shouldn’t I tell her to be more cautious in the future?

“Well, how should I put it… isn’t she very simple?”

“No, she’s quite cute with her glasses off.”

Another classmate smiled shamelessly.

“You look so pretty when you take your glasses off, like when you’re changing into your uniform. You’re still cute even with them on.” You’re so knowledgeable. It seems my image of this classmate needs some revision.

“How’s it, Akane?”

“Even if you ask me…”

“Not bad.”

“I’ve already said that, and I haven’t said anything yet!”

Just as I was about to scream, Shizuku covered my mouth.

“But we went to the Bon Dance together.” I was speechless at the sudden mention of this. The trio smirked.

“What a pervert!” “As expected!”

“Why not rebrand you as ‘the natural enemy of women’?”

“Uwaa…”

“Shizuku, aren’t you angry?”

Masumi had just finished her cake. Can women talk while eating? It’s amazing.

“About him and Akane?”

“Of course. He’s cheating!”

It was clearly you guys who were making that rumor up!

“I’ve said it many times before, I don’t care.”

Then, she continued nonchalantly.

“Because in the end, he’ll definitely come back to me.” She was so relaxed, so unhurried. Not only Masumi and the others, but even I was a little impressed. She’s truly remarkable. It’s obvious why so many admire her.

Shizuku glanced at the wall clock. I glanced over too. Ugh, it’s already late at night.

“Let’s clean up.”

Following her words, Masumi and the others began to stack the plates.

“Natsuru is eating cake over there.”

They’ve left me alone again. All I could do was say “yes,” then obey and focus on eating my cake.

Maybe thanks to so many people, the post-dinner cleanup was a breeze. And with the dishwasher, there was even less to do.

“Then we’ll say goodbye,”

Masumi and the others prepared to leave. It seemed they were also planning to stay at another classmate’s house.

“Then I…”

“Oh, isn’t Natsuru staying the night?”

Another bombshell was unleashed. Hey~~~, what are you doing?!

“Um, hey!”

“Ahhh, you’re staying the night?”

“Yeah~ Yeah~”

“As expected,” the three cheered. I could only hug my head, wanting to cry.

“Shizuku, you live alone, right?!”

“Isn’t Natsuru the same? Staying the night wouldn’t be inconvenient.”

“That’s not what I meant! Wouldn’t it just be a couple, a man and a woman, all alone?!”

“That’s exactly what I meant.”

And why are you saying things like, “Tomorrow looks like it’s going to be nice weather!”

I’ve stayed at Kaede Sakura’s house before, but there were other women there. But tonight, besides Shizuku, there’s no one else! You’re not saying you don’t understand what this means, are you?!

You know what she means, right? No matter how hard I think about it, it seems like she’s doing this on purpose. If I let this go on, I’ll be truly helpless.

“Hey, Masumi, please stay…” I pleaded, completely losing my composure.

“No way. It’ll cause trouble for Shizuku.”

“I don’t want to disrupt your peace, Natsuru.”

“I won’t accept it for a fortune.”

What a bunch of cold-blooded people! Are you all classmates?! You may not know, but we’re all in the same classroom. Even if you knew, you’d probably leave me alone. They’re just that kind of women.

I tried my best to keep them after this, but it was all in vain.

“Goodbye.”

“Good luck!”

“Please describe your wonderful tonight in detail later.”

The three people at the entrance waved their hands deliberately. If you’re leaving, take me with you.

After they left, Shizuku locked the door.

Then, she quickly turned back to me.

“Okay, get ready for bed.”

“Can I stay up tonight?”

“There won’t be any football tonight.”

The broadcasting station was truly disrespectful, completely useless at the crucial moment.

“The hot water for the bathtub has just been heated.”

“It’s okay if I don’t go.”

“Can you just hold it in?”

Actually, she just didn’t want to resist taking a bath. She’d already said it wasn’t a big deal if she didn’t want to, but even just a shower would be a far cry from what she was feeling now.

“…Go ahead.”

“Please. We’ve got the towels ready.”

Had she seen through me?

“We’ve got the toothbrush ready, too. It’s a disposable travel toothbrush, feel free to use it.”

You really had everything prepared. Now it was hard for me to even refuse.

Shizuku led me to the bathroom. It was a truly spacious one. It must be several times the size of my own. The bathtub even had a water flow system.

“Press this and the bathtub light will turn on,” Shizuku said, and the bathroom light shone into the tub, casting a shimmering blue glow. “It feels like a love hotel, doesn’t it?”

“Have you ever been there?” I hadn’t.

I was about to thank her, but Shizuku stopped me. Then I locked the dressing room.

After a moment’s thought, I piled my clothes basket and other items against the door. After all, Shizuku had the key, and otherwise, she’d definitely be able to sneak in without me noticing.

After taking my wallet out and placing it on the sink, I undressed. I wasn’t going to try and steal from the drain, was I?

Then I slowly immersed myself in the hot water. Phew, it felt really good. After all, at Shizuku’s house, a bath itself was innocent.

I quickly washed my body and hair and left the bathroom. I simply used the hairdryer to give my hair a quick blast; it would dry naturally if I just let it sit for a while.

The stacked baskets and other things showed no signs of collapsing. Returning to the living room, I found Shizuku sipping orange juice.

“That was pretty quick.”

“Not bad.”

“To be on the safe side, I still feel I need to say I’m not here to peek. After all, I’m not Kaede Sakura.”

“…”

“Also, I think the door seems tampered with.”

How did you know that? Don’t tell me you can’t be student council president without telepathy.

Then, she pointed a finger toward the kitchen.

“If you want a drink, there’s everything in the fridge.”

“Then I’ll be fine.”

“Then I’ll take a bath too.”

Enjoy. It’s your own home after all.

“Feel free to peek in if you want. I won’t lock it.”

“I’m not coming!”

“What a boring man!”

She said to me with such contempt again. Well, whatever. I don’t want to see any other woman naked besides Kaede Sakura. I still have my own obsession. But porn magazines aren’t part of the discussion.

Speaking of which, something suddenly occurred to me.

“Hey, we went in together when we went to the hot springs last time, didn’t we?”

“Come to think of it, that’s true.”

Shizuku seemed to have only just realized it.

“So, as for me, Natsuru has already seen me naked, right?”

“But I was the female version back then.”

It seemed like it was all thanks to Kondou Mikoto’s “I wasn’t too embarrassed to be seen naked by the female version of Natsuru.” And maybe it had something to do with my transformation into a female version, but back then, I didn’t have any particular feelings about naked women, but the reason for that remains unclear. I ended up assuming it was Kämpfer’s fault and didn’t bother to delve into it further.

“In that case, wouldn’t it be better if the male version of Natsuru saw me?”

“I don’t want to.”

“You still don’t want to, even after I’ve said that?”

“You already said no.”

Shizuku slumped her shoulders weakly.

“So, as a woman, I need more practice. I’m not qualified until Natsuru comes to peek at me.”

Then she headed for the bathroom.

But from behind, she looked rather pessimistic.

After all, even Shizuku spent more time in the bath than I do. She used the hair dryer briefly, and it looked like she’d washed her hair, too. With such long, shiny hair, it must be quite a hassle to care for.

Shizuku, emerging from the bathroom, was enveloped in a tranquil atmosphere, feeling almost dripping with moisture.

“Come upstairs.”

“Huh?”

“My bedroom is upstairs.”

“Then I’ll sleep here.”

“On the floor?”

Surely, sleeping on such a hard floor would make me sore when I woke up tomorrow morning. I wasn’t sleeping here just because I loved it, though.

“Don’t be shy, come to my bedroom.”

“Hey, President, think about it calmly,” I couldn’t help but say.

“A man and a woman living under the same roof, let alone in the same room, it’s not a good idea no matter how you think about it. The president’s admirers (i.e., fans) would be in tears if they knew.”

“I have only one answer: I don’t mind at all.”

She instantly dismissed my opinion. Honestly, in front of this woman, my personal opinion is as worthless as a pebble on the roadside.

Then Shizuku led me up to the second floor. The skylight was open.

It was a very elegant room. Not many furnishings, and no TV. Perhaps they weren’t used to watching TV in the bedroom. Clothes and other things were kept in the closet. There was no computer either. The only thing that stood out was the long, neatly stacked rakugo books and CD cases.

Aren’t all girls’ rooms like this? I thought Kaede Sakura’s bedroom was an exception, but I hadn’t expected it to be this spartan. The walls were bare except for the air conditioner.

There was a large bed, with a few stuffed dolls by the pillow.

“Hey~…a pretty feminine room.”

“What do you think of me?”

“Isn’t the Entrails Animal doll here?”

“Yes.”

I glanced over and saw the electric cat buried in a corner. And for some reason, it wasn’t talking.

“…sleeping?”

“You’ve been talking less lately.”

Shizuku snatched the electric cat from my hands and left the room, but she returned immediately.

“I’ve moved it to another room.”

Thank you so much. I don’t want anyone else to see me being kicked out like this.

But is there only one bed? Of course, this isn’t a hotel, so there’s usually only one bed, but there are two.

“Hey, President…”

“Looks like we’ll just have to sleep together.”

Is that really the case?

Although I’d guessed this would happen from the start and had been prepared for it, it was still nerve-wracking to see it happen. Especially since I was about to be put in danger.

“Don’t you have any other blankets?”

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t considered the possibility of having guests.”

It really couldn’t be helped. But I was careless at the time, not realizing a serious situation: what would Shizuku’s parents look like if they suddenly returned and saw us like this? But that only occurred to me after I’d already returned home.

I paced back and forth in front of the bed, hesitant. Uh, what should I do in a situation like this?

“I’ll sleep on the floor. Lend me a towel.”

“No.”

“…Then how about I sleep on the bed and the president curled up in the hallway?”

“In your own hallway?”

Even if you said that, I couldn’t think of a better solution right away.

Sleeping on the floor with a cushion as your head is so lonely, no, it’s really miserable. It’s summer after all, and if the air conditioner is on, it’s freezing. So, this is the last resort.

“…We’re just sleeping together…”

“That’s what I said from the beginning.”

She really seemed…very happy.

It seemed I had no choice but to surrender. I slowly crawled into bed, fully clothed. The quilt exuded a charming fragrance… it was an illusion!

I was going to say that sleeping with clothes off was easier and more comfortable, but that also involved the big question of chastity.

“Turn off the lights.”

“Are you shy?”

“If you want to sleep, it’s better to be darker, right?”

Even though there were creatures that slept soundly during the day, an owl was enough.

I closed my eyes. A rustling sound filled the darkened room. The rustling of clothes. Uh, that was Shizuku taking off her clothes.

Indeed, at Kaede Sakura’s house, I told her I didn’t want to sleep in too many clothes. So, what was she wearing then?

“I’ll tell you, I’m only wearing a T-shirt and underwear.”

You should sleep in your armor.

Another creaking sound. One side of the bed’s quilt was lifted, and Shizuku slid in beside me.

I was enveloped by a different kind of tension than at Kaede Sakura’s house. What should I do? I’m going to be eaten whole!

I mobilized even my less-than-perfect brain cells, frantically pondering a solution. Two twos equals four, two fours equals eight… What good would it do to count to ninety-nine eighty-one?! One four one four two one three five six (the square root of 2, the original text here is a mnemonic for the value)… What am I doing?!

I can’t take it anymore. I’m being violated. Just having my first kiss taken away was filthy enough, and now my blood is about to be contaminated black. It seems I wasn’t meant to be born male!

Hmm? Male?

Suddenly, my brain clicked. This sudden whim might just save me.

I channeled power into my right wrist. A white light flashed under the quilt, and I became female.

So what? There’s no way out, right? I’m no longer male, I’m already female. Shizuku, even if you’re a sex maniac, you’re not interested in women, are you? Huh, I’m such a genius.

But then, I was deeply struck by my naiveté.

The covers were suddenly flung aside, and Shizuku was straddling me.

“Even if you become a woman, it doesn’t matter to me.”

In the darkness, Shizuku’s straight face was raised proudly.

“Do you think you can get away with this little trick?”

“Uh, no… President, calm down. We’re both women now!”

“I told you it’s okay.”

Her lips moved closer. I’m clearly a woman, so how could I be in such a strange and perverse situation? Those moist, thin lips looked so alluring!

But the moment they almost touched, they stopped.

Shizuku suddenly grasped my face with both hands.

“Natsuru, I have something I want to ask you.”

I nearly fainted from shock. Her tone was so serious, and even then, there seemed to be a hint of anger. What exactly happened just now?

“What did you say you did in Gunma with Kondou Mikoto?”

“What did you say… we went to eat curry?”

“Is that all?”

Sorry, it’s not over yet.

I only said this much because I didn’t want you to get angry. But now Shizuku’s eyes are burning, how should I put it, like a forest fire blazing. The women around me always say things like this.

“We kissed. That photo doesn’t look like a photomontage at all.”

“…Yes.”

“I want to hear it from you.”

“We kissed…”

I’ve completely given up, so I might as well just tell it all.

“We kissed.”

It feels so scary. Unlike when she’s angry, she maintains her usual calm expression. But how should I put it? Quietly angry might be a better way to put it.

“How was your kiss with Kondou Mikoto?”

“You asked…”

It smelled like curry.

“Is it better than mine? Is it more clumsy? Did you stick your tongue in? Were you very active?”

Don’t ask so many questions in rapid succession. It really surprised me. Also, don’t talk about tongues and such!

Shizuku is serious, in fact, it should be said that she is serious. Why is she so argumentative about such a thing?

“Skillful or clumsy… I don’t have much experience, how can I know?”

Not to mention that the first kiss was given to you. And it was even a second kiss!

“Even if you are inexperienced, you still know something.”

“Really not at all. Kondou Mikoto also said that this was her first kiss.”

Then, a shadow fell on Shizuku’s face. Oh no, did I step on a landmine again?

It seems not. She spoke in a tone that seemed quite unwilling.

“Kondou Mikoto gave her first kiss to Natsuru.”

Your words seem too obscene, don’t they?

“Did you do anything with Akane too?”

“Nothing! I said I just went to the Bon dance party, really!”

Shizuku seemed to still have doubts about my words, and just stared at me intently. To be honest, it’s better to say that she was staring at me than staring at me.

So, being stared at like this, I was like a frog being stared at by a snake. I couldn’t even look away.

“Uh… President.”

“President? Just call me Shizuku.”

“What’s the big deal? Don’t take it too seriously.”

“I do!”

“…Shizuku.”

“What?”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Angry? Do I look angry?”

I felt like I was angry no matter how I looked at her, and it felt like she was radiating a fighting spirit.

“It’s different from being angry,” she said bluntly, perhaps to prevent me from misunderstanding.

“I’m jealous.”

“…Jealous?”

“That’s right!”

Shizuku suddenly pounced on me and hugged me completely.

She was originally just covering me, but now she’s covering me even more. To be more specific, our lips were pressed against each other.

“Mmm~?!”

That was my voice.

I screamed muffledly and struggled as hard as I could. But Shizuku held me down firmly, refusing to let go.

When she finally did, my face was flushed from the lack of air.

“What are you doing?!”

“Kissing.”

“You’re all women?!”

“I told you not to take it too seriously.”

I was actually quite concerned. After all, I was acting like a woman. I wouldn’t say I had a female mind, but it would be quite unusual to others. Now that I think about it, it’s just the two of us.

This is beyond perverse, it’s already reached the level of perversion!

“But just kissing isn’t going to drive Kondou Mikoto away.”

“What are you talking about…”

“As for me, I’m very possessive. And I hate losing to others.”

Suddenly, her fingers landed on my clothes.

It was about to be torn, but just as I was thinking it, it didn’t happen. Instead, the opening in my clothes undid almost instantly. What did she do? Are you a magician?

“What are you going to do…!”

“I’m going to take off your pants, too. Be prepared!”

Ugh~~~, someone help me~~~!!

This guy’s hand movements showed no sign of stopping. What are you going to do? Don’t you have any sense of shame? Did you forget it somewhere?

Suddenly, the hand that was about to take off my clothes stopped.

In the dim room, Shizuku’s scowl appeared.

“…Boring.”

“Eh…”

“Change back to a man.”

Ohhhh~~, my strategy was successful.

In other words, since I’m now in a female body, it’s not appropriate for Shizuku to do those things. The reason is that the things we should have are missing, and the things we shouldn’t have are present. Therefore, even if we were entangled in female bodies, it would be meaningless for Kondou Mikoto to get rid of it.

Hahaha, you’ve learned something, President? I’m the so-called reclusive strategist who hides in the city.

But this woman ignored me as a strategist and threatened me.

“What do you expect me to do, women and women?!”

“That’s what I want to say, right?”

“Just change back to being a man, Natsuru.”

Hey, what do you think is wrong?

“This is my first time. And giving my first time to a girl isn’t something I can be proud of; it’s actually traumatic. Turn back into a man.”

Shizuku sometimes teases me, but now she’s serious. She’s practically serious, I guess.

She stood up briefly. Now it finally dawned on me that she was only wearing a T-shirt and panties.

“Or do you prefer being forced?”

How should I answer?

“You can be on top, too. We did that before.”

Eh~~, you want me on top, Shizuku? Well, this is really making me hesitate.

Suddenly, another brilliant idea struck me. Isn’t it said to survive in the cracks of danger?

Shizuku still straddled me, even starting to take off her T-shirt.

“Wait, I get it,” I quickly stopped her. She was already wearing nothing underneath. Isn’t this too hasty?

“Let me be on top.”

“Ah.”

“As expected… if I change back into a man, it would be a bit unreasonable not to do this.”

Shizuku smiled sweetly.

“You really are a boy. Okay.”

I crawled out from under her crotch and fell off the bed to the floor.

Shizuku lay down on the bed. After I stood up, I rubbed my shoulder that had just hit the floor.

“I’ll go over there and change back into a man.”

“It’s all right here.”

“That’s also about mentally preparing.”

Before I could get a word in, I hurried down the hallway. After gently closing the door, I took a deep breath and channeled my energy into my wristband. With a flash of white light, I transformed back into my male form.

And before the flash faded, I bolted.

I quickly ran down the stairs, opened the entrance window, grabbed my shoes, and leaped out. In other words, I was plotting my escape from Shizuku’s clutches.

Thirty-Six Stratagems… what’s next?! I didn’t care. Escape was the priority right now! Wouldn’t it have been better to just do it from the beginning? It’s so late to think of this.

I glanced back as I ran. The lights in Shizuku’s house were already on. She must be furious, but I didn’t care.

This was probably the second most desperate run I’ve ever run in my entire life. The first desperate run might come back someday, but for now, I’ll leave it at that. I was running like crazy, shoes in hand, until I was halfway past the subway station before stopping. As expected, I was out of breath after running so far. I took several deep breaths before putting my shoes on. The working class people returning home from work stared at me in surprise. Why have I ended up in such a miserable state? I’m sure you’ll understand if I explain it to you in detail.

At least I’ve escaped the biggest crisis of my life. It’s unlikely anything worse will ever happen. Anything worse would be something like a massive alien invasion of Earth.

My throat is so dry. There’s a vending machine right in front of me. Just as I’m about to buy a can of Yung Soda, I reach into my pocket and realize something is seriously wrong.

“…Where’s my wallet?!”

I was completely stunned! I left it at Shizuku’s house and forgot to take it with me! I had indeed left it on the sink when I went in for a bath, and then I forgot to take it!

Should I go back and get it? Or maybe not. I had just barely escaped a dangerous situation, and I didn’t want to walk back into it again. This was far more dangerous than the word “dangerous” could describe. But all my belongings were in that wallet. For someone like me who had never saved money, everything I had was just in that wallet.

As a man, I couldn’t go back to that woman’s house anymore. But…

Aa…

Translator's Notes

This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.

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