Difference between revisions of "Talk:Spice & Wolf:Volume1 Chapter 01"

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== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==
 
== Chapter 1, Page 18 ==
   
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When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating (?) a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants (?) and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)
 修道院が建てられ始めた頃、ロレンスはその新しい顧客{こきゃく}の匂{にお}いに期待していたのだが、どうやら修道院は在野{ざいや}の商人お介さず独立に物資お調達しているよう、ロレンスの期待は儚{はかな}くも散ったのだった。
 
   
  +
 とはいっても彼らは贅沢{ぜいたく}もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入{みい}りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付{きふ}をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。
When construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating (?) a new patron. But somehow or other, via other merchants (?) [ meaning of 在野? ], the monastery managed to obtain goods and materials independently and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (1)
 
   
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Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]
 とはいっても彼らは贅沢{ぜいたく}もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入{みい}りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付{きふ}おさせられたりツケお踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。
 
   
  +
 単純な売買の相手としては盗人{ぬすっと}よりも性質{たち}の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。
Be that as it may, the monks do no live in luxury but still till the fields, for the profits from trade are meager. On top of that, it must be noted that there are people who shirk payment of their dues. (?)(2)
 
   
  +
For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves. (?) but even so, there were times where it was convenient to trade with them.
 単純な売買の相手としては盗人{ぬすっと}よりも性質{たち}の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売おすれば商人にとて部合の良いことがある。
 
   
  +
 そんなわけでラレンスは未練{みれん}がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。
They made more ill-natured opponents of simple traders than thieves were, (!) but even so, there are merchants whom they have harmonious trading relationships with. (?) [ meaning of 部合の良いこと? ]
 
   
  +
So it was that Lawrence reluctantly looked towards the monastery, and suddenly squinted. (?) [ sounds strange ] From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.
 そんなわけでラレンスは未練{みれん}がましく修道院のほうお見ていたのだが、不意に目お細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手お振っているのだ。
 
 
So it was that Lawrence looked towards the monastery with lingering regret, and unwittingly squinted. (?)(3) From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with their hands.
 
   
 
「なんだ?」
 
「なんだ?」
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"What's this?"
 
"What's this?"
   
 下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い{きたな}作業服身にまとっているからだ。手振っている者わねずみ色っぽい衣服に身包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのわ面倒くさかったが、無視すると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスわ仕方なく馬の進む方向そちらに向けだ。
+
 下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い{きたな}作業服身にまとっているからだ。手振っている者わねずみ色っぽい衣服に身包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのわ面倒くさかったが、無視すると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスわ仕方なく馬の進む方向そちらに向けだ。
   
There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty brown fatigues. (4) The one gesturing was wrapped in what looked like gray clothes. His deliberate approach spelt trouble, but ignoring him could lead to problems down the road. (5) Left without a choice, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.
+
There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty brown fatigues. (2) The one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could lead to problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.
   
 すると、手振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手振ることやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するの待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢{ごうまん}なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。
+
 すると、手振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手振ることやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するの待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢{ごうまん}なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。
   
Thereupon, the gesturer realized that Lawrence was coming towards him. (?) He halted and stopped gesturing. (?) Patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival, it seemed. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)
+
Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)
   
  +
=== Discussion ===
----
 
(1) I'm confused here; the monastery is relying on the other merchants for goods, so how could they be independent? Or is it just independent of Lawrence? Or does either 在野 or 介さず or 独立 mean something else here?
 
   
  +
(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?
(2) Confused here also; does 無理やり寄付 mean involuntary donations (from say the surrounding populace)? Sounds like an oxymoron; is it an expression?
 
   
  +
(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?
(3) What does 未練がまし(い) and 不意に目お細めた mean here?
 
   
  +
(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?
(4) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?
 
 
(5) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?
 
 
=== Discussion ===
 
   
 
== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==
 
== Chapter 1, Page 19 ==

Revision as of 22:01, 18 February 2008

The pages posted here are a draft. I'm still learning Japanese and don't have much experience translating, would greatly appreciate it if more skilled people could review my work. In particular, there are many questions I have, both about the text as well as about Japanese in general, I'm hoping they could be answered here as well. Please feel free to discuss any part of the translation by inserting comments immediately below the relevant line, or at the bottom of each section. All comments, from broad stylistic suggestions down to nitpicks are welcome. I don't know whether such a discussion is manageable within the space of one wiki page, let's try this for a few days and see how it goes. Pages will be moved to the main article once they get sufficient review. Let's focus discussion on the first few pages so that they can be moved in sequence.


Regarding notation used below:

{ } Curly braces indicate furigana for the kanji (possibly more than one) just before it. The start and end are not explicitly indicated so as not to disrupt the text, but generally this should be clear.

(?) Indicates that I'm unsure about the previous sentence. (Okay, I'm unsure about _all_ sentences, given my level of skill, but the ones marked as such I have greater uncertainty about.)

(!) Indicates I'm completely lost.

[ ] Indicates comments/questions I have about the text.

(1) Bracketed numbers indicate comments moved to footnotes due to their length

-/-/- Indicates piecemeal translation. Should be regarded as a placeholder and used as reference for a proper translation.

lit literal

alt alternatively

Each paragraph of the Japanese text is alternated with a paragraph of the corresponding English translation. If a page break cuts a paragraph in two, the entire paragraph will be posted under the section corresponding to the next page.


There's also a forum thread.


Thanks. AlephNull 09:21, 9 February 2008 (PST)


Prologue, Page 13

 この村では、見事に実った麦穂が風に揺られることを狼{オオカミ}が走るという。

In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that the wolf is running.

 風に揺られる様子が、麦畑{むぎほ}の中を狼が走ているように見えるからだ。

From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields.

 また、風が強すぎて麦穂が倒れることを狼踏まれたといい、不作の時わ狼に食われたという。

Also, when the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that the wolf has trampled them. When the harvest is poor, it is said that the wolf has eaten it.

 上手{うま}い表現だが、迷惑なものもあるのが玉に瑕{きず}だな、と思った。

All appears well on the exterior, but it seems there's latent trouble as well, like a flaw in a gem. (?)

 しかし、今となってはちょっとした洒落{しゃれ}た言い方になっているだけで、昔のように親しみと恐れおこめてその言葉お使う者わほとんどいない。

Such things are spoken rather lightly and casually nowadays, while almost no one speaks of them with the affection and fear of old.

 ゆらゆらと揺られる麦穂の間から見える秋の空は何百年も変わらないのに、その下の様子はじつに様変わりをしていた。

Looking at the autumn sky from amidst the gently swaying ears of wheat, even though it hasn't changed in hundreds of years, the world below has in fact changed completely.

 来る年も来る年も、麦を育ててきたこの村の者達も、せいぜい長生きして七十年なのだ。

The people of this village who tend the wheat, passing year after passing year, live for no more than seventy years.

 むしろ何百年も変わらないほうが悪いのかもしれない。

Perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off instead. [ alt: If anything, perhaps so many centuries without change would have been worse off. ]

 ただ、だからもう昔の約束を律儀{りちぎ}に守る必要はないのかもしれないと思った。

Or just, perhaps they think it's no longer necessary to honour the agreement of old. (?)

 何よりも、自分はもうここではひつようとされていないと思った。[ meaning of とされていない? ]

Ultimately, I feel I'm not needed here anymore.(?)

 東にそびえる山のせいで、村の空を流れる雲わたいてい北へと向かっていく。

Because of the mountains rising up in the east, the clouds in the village sky generally drift towards the north.

 その雲の流れる先、北の胡郷のことを思い出してため息をつく。

Where they are headed lies the northern country, and a sigh escapes as I remember it.

 視線を空から麦穂戻せば、鼻先で揺れる自慢{じまん}の尻尾{しっぽ}が目に入った。

Returning my gaze from sky to wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose. (?)(5)

 することもないので尻尾の毛づくろいに取り掛かる。

With nothing else to do, I set about grooming it.

Discussion

(1) Literally, I think it should be "In this village, the beautifully ripened ears of wheat swaying in the wind _are_ said to be the wolves running.", not merely that there is some correlation between the wheat swaying and the wolves running. But this sounds odd. Same deal with the first half of the third sentence. Best I could come up with was to insert "when", but the text here makes no reference to time, unlike the second half of the third sentence (時). Also, should I go with "it is said", instead of "they say"?

"In this village, when the resplendently ripened ears of wheat are swaying in the wind, it is said that "a wolf is running". From their appearance, swaying in the wind, you can make out what seems like a wolf running in the wheat fields. When the wind is too strong and the wheat stalks fall over, it is said that "a wolf trampled them". When the harvest is poor, it is said that "a wolf ate it". Don't you think it's better like this? --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)
I don't want to put quotes in, because I think such quotes would correspond to 「」 (e.g. see what Lawrence says in the last para of page 22), which aren't present here. Reading it again, I think it refers to one wolf, in fact, the wolf, not many wolves, going by the katakana furigana next to 狼. I'm going with "it is said" as well. Rewritten it to reflect this, what do you think? -- AlephNull 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(3) What exactly does むしろ mean? How about "Perchance so many centuries of stasis is bad."?

To start things off, someone from the forum felt that stasis was too modern a word, and has sci-fi connotations. I don't feel it is so, what do other people think? The only alternative word I can think of is 'changelessness', but this is clumsy. AlephNull 09:53, 9 February 2008 (PST)
How about "stagnation"? "Perhaps so many centuries of stagnation are rather bad."... that's what I got after 10 minutes of trying to translate the sentence. むしろ= 寧ろ= rather, better, instead. --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)
Stagnation isn't quite the same as stasis. The former means not progressing, the latter means no change at all, which is what the text here says. I'm going with 'without change' for now. I'm still not quite sure about the meaning of むしろ here. The sentences that use むしろ that I've seen so far use it to compare one thing with another. I'm not sure what's being compared here though. I've rewritten the sentence and put in an alternative, thoughts? - AlephNull

(4) What exactly does 何よりも and とされていない mean here?

より= from, out of, since, than. So I translate the sentence like this:
"Since when/For how long have I felt that I am no longer necessary here." or maybe
"For a long time now I've felt that I am no longer needed here. --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)
Momogan mentioned to me in a PM (amongst lots of other things) that 何よりも means above all things. I'm going to go with 'Ultimately' here. - AlephNull 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(5) Should this be "Returning my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I see my proud tail wagging before my nose." instead? Does a ーば suffix always mean a conditional statement? There are also furigana next to 自慢 and 尻尾, even though they are both fairly common compounds. Could this be emphasis, representing how Horo regards her tail with special pride? Would italics work here, i.e. proud tail?

I think the sentence should be "If/Should I return my gaze from the sky to the wheat, I would see my proud tail wagging before my nose." at the very least. I don't know about the other version because I'm bad at reading kanji right now... I won't change it for now, gonna leave it up to you to decide. --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)
Apparently, since the second half of the sentence is in the past tense, the ーば here really means something like the second half follows from the first half. (Not sure if it has to be a direct consequence, or could be something weaker). - AlephNull 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(6) "All seems well on the outside, but it is thought that there is trouble/are annoyances here and there, just like flaws in a gem/crystal." I added the here and there on my own, because I think it sounds better with it. Gonna leave it up to someone more skillful to decide whether this is good or there is something better. BTW, is this line showing Horo's thoughts on the subject or her explaining what somebody else believes? Considering the next line I guess it's the latter... --ShApEsHiFt3r 02:14, 15 February 2008 (PST)

I'm not sure about this line as well. I think though, that we can interpret the ある here to mean not just simply 'present', but also 'present and hidden', like a 'flaw in a gem' since 'all seems well on the outside'. I've gone with 'latent trouble' and rewrote the rest of the sentence as well, what do you think? - AlephNull 11:48, 18 February 2008 (PST)



Does such a tone work for Horo? AlephNull 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
I think it does :) --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:49, 15 February 2008 (PST)


と思った and かもしれない appear very frequently in this page, and in the text I've gone through so far. I know that expressing uncertainty like this is a common part of speaking Japanese, but should I make some of them sound more certain? - AlephNull 11:34, 18 February 2008 (PST)

Prologue, Page 14

 秋の空は高く、とても澄んでいた。

The high autumn sky, so clear.

 今年もまた収穫の時期がくる。

Harvest time has come again this year.

 麦畑お、たくさんの狼{オオカミ}が走っていた。

Many wolves are running through the wheat fields.

Discussion

Does rhymy work here? These three lines in the Japanese text seem verse-like. AlephNull 09:06, 10 February 2008 (PST)
"The autumn sky, so high, so clear". It sounds cooler, don't you think? :D It's a good choice to use rhymes here, but... we need a rhyme for the last line >< --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:48, 15 February 2008 (PST)
The text literally says that the sky is high (not necessarily very high) and very clear, so I'd like to make 'clear' stronger than 'high'. As for making the last line rhyme as well, I don't think it's necessary, since I think it's sufficiently verse-like as it is. Also, the last line in the Japanese text sounds conclusive, if we make the last line in the translation not rhymy, it may sound more conclusive as well. I dunno though (not like I read Japanese, or even English poetry :g), if you have any ideas on how to make the last line rhyme, we can see if it fits. - AlephNull 11:42, 18 February 2008 (PST)

Chapter 1, Page 17

「これで最後、かな?」

"That's the last one, isn't it?"

「ん、きっちり七十枚。。。ありますね。毎度どうも」

"Mmm, exactly seventy pelts... we have here. Thanks for your patronage, as always." (1)

「なーにこちらこそ。ロレンスさんくらいしかこんな山奥まで来てくれないからな。助かるよ」

"Hey, don't mention it, I should thank you as well. Mr Lawrence, pretty much no one else comes all the way here in the mountains. It's a great help."

「代わりに上等の毛皮もらってますからね。また来ます」

"In return, I've received such fine furs. I'll be back again." (2)

 そんないつまもやり取りをかわし、山奥の村を出発したのはかれこれ五時間も前だ。日が昇ってすぐに出発して、山から下りて野に出た頃にはもう昼を回っていた。

The trade proceeded as usual, and roughly five hours had passed since he departed from the mountain village. Having left soon after sunrise, descending the mountain, noon had already arrived by the time he reached the prairie. [ or simply plains? ]

 天気わ良く、風もない。荷馬車に乗ってのんびりと野を行くには絶好の日和{ひより}だ。ここのところ寒かったので、もう冬もちかいと思ていたのが嘘{うそ}のようだ。

It was fair and windless. Perfect weather for a leisurely ride on horse cart across the plains. While it was cold around here, it seemed unthinkable that winter was already drawing near. (3)

 行商人として独り立ちして七年目、歳{とし}にして二十五になるロレンスは、御者台{おしゃたい}の上で平和な大あくびをしたのだった。

A merchant who had been travelling alone for seven years now, Lawrence, who would turn twenty-five this year, gave a great, peaceful yawn [ alt: content yawn? ] from atop the cart driver's seat.

 背の高い草と木もはほとんど生えていないために視界はとても良い。そのためにかなり遠くまで見通すことができて、視界ぎりぎりの彼方{かなた}には何年かまえに建てられた修道院が見ている。

The view improved as the trees and tallgrass grew sparser, and you could see quite far away. Just barely within view, a long-established monastery could be seen in the distance.

 どこの貴族の子弟を取り込んだのかわからないがこんな辺鄙{へんぴ}な土地にありながらも建物は立派な石造りで、門扉{もんぴ}は信じられないことに鉄製だ。確か二十人からの修道士が生活していて、それと同数くらいの下男が彼らの生活を支えているはずだ。

Some aristocrat son [ or "young aristocrat"? or "rich young punk"? =P ] somewhere got it into his head to build a fine building like this in such a remote place. The stonework was magnificent, and the iron doors were wrought with incredible craftsmanship. (?) [ lit: "the doors were wrought in iron in unbelievable fashion."? ] Around twenty or so monks lived there, ministered by a similar number of male servants.

Discussion

(1) What about "A pleasure doing business with you _again_." instead, i.e. does 毎度 imply any previous patronage?

How about "as always"? まいど=each time. For example - As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you. --ShApEsHiFt3r 01:47, 15 February 2008 (PST)
Yeah, "as always" is better. I originally took some liberties with the translation, given the villager's response and 'the pleasure is mine as well' being an English expression. Thinking about it some more though, I think I'll stick with a more literal translation. - AlephNull 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)

(2) Is やり取り barter trade? Is おかわし end?

かわし= to exchange, yaritori is indeed barter trade. so やり取りおかわし should be barter trade exchange. --ShApEsHiFt3r 02:35, 15 February 2008 (PST)

(3) The second sentence doesn't make sense. If it was cold then it wouldn't be ridiculous that winter is coming, but it isn't cold, but rather it's pleasant/good/nice as stated in the first sentence... I have no idea how that should be translated though.

It can be fair and windless and still cold. Note that fair means sunny and not cloudy, but not necessarily warm. - AlephNull 12:00, 18 February 2008 (PST)


"Don't mention it, the pleasure is mine as well." Don't merchants usually say "The pleasure is all mine"? I think that should be the case here as well. --ShApEsHiFt3r 02:28, 15 February 2008 (PST)

Chapter 1, Page 18

When it's construction first started, Lawrence had been eagerly anticipating (?) a new patron. But somehow or other, the monastery seemed able to obtain goods and materials on their own without having to trade with independent merchants (?) and Lawrence's short-lived hopes vanished. (?)(1)

 とはいっても彼らは贅沢{ぜいたく}もせず畑も耕すので、商売ができたとしても実際の実入{みい}りはかなり少なかったりする。その上、無理やり寄付{きふ}をさせられたりツケを踏み倒されたりもするので考えものだ。

Even so, the monks do not live in luxury and still till the fields, thus the profits from trading with them were fairly meagre. On top of that, you had to consider that they would solicit involuntary donations and shirk payment of their bills. (?) [ should I put "involuntary donations" in quotes? ]

 単純な売買の相手としては盗人{ぬすっと}よりも性質{たち}の悪い相手ではあったが、それでも彼らと商売をすれば商人にとって都合の良いことがある。

For simple buying and selling, they were worse than even thieves. (?) but even so, there were times where it was convenient to trade with them.

 そんなわけでラレンスは未練{みれん}がましく修道院のほうを見ていたのだが、不意に目を細めた。修道院のほうで、誰かがこちらに向かって手を振っているのだ。

So it was that Lawrence reluctantly looked towards the monastery, and suddenly squinted. (?) [ sounds strange ] From the monastery someone approached, gesturing with his hands.

「なんだ?」

"What's this?"

 下男には見えない。彼らはこけ茶色の汚い{きたな}作業服を身にまとっているからだ。手を振っている者わねずみ色っぽい衣服に身を包んでいる。わざわざそちらに行くのわ面倒くさかったが、無視をすると後々問題になりかねない。ロレンスわ仕方なく馬の進む方向をそちらに向けだ。

There were no servants to be seen. The monks present were clad in dirty brown fatigues. (2) The one gesturing was wrapped in grayish clothes. His deliberate approach suggested trouble, but ignoring him could lead to problems down the road. (3) Without better options, Lawrence turned his horse towards him.

 すると、手を振っていた者はロレンスが自分のほうに向かって歩き始めたことに気がついたのか、手を振ることをやめたようだが自分から歩こうとはしない。じっと、ロレンスが到着するのを待つつもりのようだ。教会関係者が傲慢{ごうまん}なのは今日に始まったことではない。こんなことでいちいち怒る気にもなれなかった。

Thereupon, the gesturer realised that Lawrence had started coming towards him. He stopped gesturing, but continued to walk without breaking into a run. As if patiently awaiting Lawrence's arrival. It wasn't as though the church authorities had only started being arrogant today. Lawrence was too accustomed to such treatment to get angry over each and every such incident. (?)

Discussion

(1) Meaning of 在野の商人? Is 介さず the negative of 介させる?

(2) I'm guessing via elimination that 彼ら refers to the monks. What does こけ mean here? Moss?

(3) Does 後々 mean distant future? Could it also possibly refer to a nearer future?

Chapter 1, Page 19

 ただ、のんびりと修道院に近づくにつれてはっきりと見えてきたその姿の、ロレンスは思わず声お上げていた。

As he leisurely (?) [ or "slowly"? "casually"? ] approached the monastery, the person's form grew clearer and Lawrence unconsciously raised his voice.

「。。。騎士{きし}?」

"......a knight?"

 最初はそんな馬鹿な、と思ったものの、近づけばそれは紛{まぎ}れもない騎士だった。ねずみ色に見えた服わ、銀色の甲冑{かつちゅう}だったのだ。

That couldn't possibly be (?) [ the text seems stronger than this ], he thought, but as he drew closer it was unmistakably a knight. The gray clothes were actually silver armor from head to toe. (?)

「貴様、何者であるか」

"You, state your business here." (1)

 会話おするにはまだちょっと遠い距離、というあたりで騎士がそう叫んだ。自分は名乗らなくてもどこの誰かわかるだろう、と言いだけだ。

There was still some distance between the two of them before they could talk, which was why the knight shouted. (?) [ meaning of というあたりで?] Without introducing himself, who would know his name? (!)

「行商人のロレンスという者ですが、何かご入用{にゅうよう}ですかね?」

"I'm Lawrence, a traveling merchant. May I be of service? "

 もう修道院は目と鼻の先だ。南に向かって広がっている畑で働く下男達の数も数えられるくらいだ。

The monastery was now right in front of his eyes. There were servants working in the fields that opened to the south of Lawrence, and he could now count their numbers.

 そして、どうやら騎士がそれ一人だけではないということもわかった。修道院の向こうにももう一人立っているのが見える。もしかしたら、見張りなのかもしれなかった。

Also, it seemed like the knight was no longer alone, he realized. [ should I remove the "it seemed like"? ] Lawrence saw another person standing in the direction of the monastery, possibly a guard.

「行商人?貴様が来た方向には町などないはずだが」

"A traveling merchant? There's no town in the direction you came from."

 銀の胸{むね}当てに刻まれた真{ま}っ赤{か}な十字架{か}お誇らしげに見せるように胸お張って、騎士が横柄にそう言った。

The knight spoke arrogantly and puffed his chest, as if to show off the crimson cross engraved on his silver chestplate.


(1) Took some liberties. "Who are you?" or even "Who goes there?" doesn't seem quite right in this context. Is this actually a statement, rather than a question? There's a か at the end, but no ?. It also sounds firm. ]

Discussion

Chapter 1, Page 20

 しかし、肩{かた}に直接取り付けられている外套{がいとう}もうねずみ色で、これは下級騎士お示すものだ。金色の髪{かみ}の毛お短く刈{か}り込んでまだ間もなさそうだし、体も野戦お潜{くぐ}り抜けているようには見えないから、騎士{きし}に成り立てで気負っているのだろう。こういう輩{やから}は余裕{よゆう}お持って対処するに限る。あっという間に図に乗るからだ。

However the cloak draped over his shoulders was similarly gray, denoting his status as a low-rank knight. It appeared that his blonde hair had yet to be cut short, and his body showed no signs of having been in the field before, yet he seemed composed of fighting spirit. (?) Such a comrade/surplus holdings/dealing with/limit reached (!) In a flash, he decided on a plan. (?)

 だから、ロレンスはすぐに返事おせずに懐{ふところ}から皮袋お取り出して、ゆっくりと口お縛{しば}る紐{ひも}お解{ほど}いた。中には蜂蜜お固めた菓子{かし}が入っている。一粒つまむと口に放り込んで、袋ごと騎士のほうに向けたのだった。

And so without reply, Lawrence produced from his breast pocket a leather bag and slowly unfastened the cord tying it shut. [ lit: "tying it's mouth shut" ] Held inside were candy made from dried honey [ lit: hardened honey ]. He picked a honey drop (?)(1), popped it into his mouth, and held the rest of the bag out towards the knight. (?) [ meaning of ごと here? ]

 「一つどうです?」

"How about one?"

 「む」

"Mmm."

 と、騎士としての意地が、うなずいてから手お伸ばすまでにはだいぶ時間がかかったのだが。

The knight's obstinacy held, (?) and a considerable amount of time lapsed between his nod and his hand reaching out.

 「ここから半日ほどかけて東に行くと、山の中に小さな村があるんですよ。そこに塩お売りに行った帰りです」

"A half day's travel eastwards from here lies a small village in the mountains. I sold salt there, and am returning through here."

 「そうか。しかし、積荷があるようだが、それも塩か?」

"I see. But, while you appear to be carrying cargo, is that salt as well?"

 「いえ、これは毛皮です。ほら」

"Nay, these are furs. Take a look."

 ロレンスは言いながら荷台お振り向いて、覆{おお}いお剥(*){は}いだ。立派なテンの毛皮だ。目の前の騎士の給料にしたら一年分はくだらないだろう。

While talking, Lawrence turned to face the cart and peeled off the shroud. Revealing beautiful marten (?) furs. They were worth about half a year's wages of the knight standing in front of him.


 「ふん。これは?」

"Hmm. What's this?"


(1) does 一粒 necessarily mean something grain-like, or can it mean a more generic 'piece' of candy?

(*) The kanji in the text is written slightly differently, in a way that's not available in my text editor. I think this character has the same meaning and reading here.

Discussion

Chapter 1, Page 21

 「ああ、これは、その村からもらってきた麦です」

"Ahh, this is wheat I received [ obtained? ] from the village."

 毛皮の山の隅に置いてある麦の束は、ロレンスが塩お売りに行った村で育てられているものだ。寒さに強く虫にも食われにくい。去年北西のほうで冷害が猛威{もうい}お振るったので売り込むに行くつもりだった。

The sheaf of wheat was grown in the village where Lawrence had gone to sell salt. It was about to be left in a corner of the mountain where the furs came from. (?) [ I think I'm misunderstood 置いてある; this sentence as it is doesn't make sense. ] Last year, the intense winter (?) [ lit: intense cold-weather damage. ] in the northwest prevented him from going there to trade. (?)

 「ふん。まあ、いいだろう。行っていいぞ」

"Hmm. Well, it looks okay. You're free to go."

 呼びつけておいでずいぶんな言い草だが、ここでおとなしく「はい」と言ったら商人失格だ。ロレンスはわざと先ほどの皮袋おちらつかせながら、騎士のほうに向く直った。

Being called to come over/quite the remark (!) [ Stab in the dark: "It was quite rude, being called over like this"? ], but obediently saying 'All right' here would have meant failure as a merchant. Deliberately jiggling (?) [ meaning of ちらつ(く) here? ] the leather bag from earlier, Lawrence turned to face the knight.

 「何があったんですかね?普段はここ、騎士様なんかいないでしょう」

"Something happened, didn't it? Normally, there wouldn't be knights here."

 若い騎士は質問されたのが不快だったのか、少し眉根{まゆね}にしわお寄せたがロレンスの手の中にある皮袋お見るとさらにしわお寄せだ。

The young knight seemed uncomfortable being questioned, and his eyebrows creased a little. (?) [ meaning of 眉根 and 寄せた? ] Seeing the leather bag held in Lawrence's hand, his eyebrows creased further. (?)

 うまく釣らたようだ。ロレンスは紐お解いて一粒つまむと、騎士にくれてやった。

He seemed to be quite attracted to them. Lawrence unfastened the cord and picked another drop, handing it to the knight.

 「うむ。。。うまいな。これは礼おしなければなるまい」

"Mmmmm... these are really good. My thanks to you for them. (?) [ meaning of なるまい? Is it really formal/old-fashioned? ]

 騎士は理屈好きだ。ロレンスは商売用の笑顔で特にありがたそうに頭お下げだ。

The knight liked reason. (?) [ this can't be right... could it be "The knight was reasonable." instead? ] Lawrence put on his business smile and pretended to nod his head gratefully.

 「この辺りで異教徒の祭りが近々開かれると聞き及んでいる。そのためここの警備お任されているのだが、貴様、何か知らんか」

"There's news that (?) around these parts, a pagan festival is about to start. That's why I've been entrusted [ or charged? ] with the task of policing here."

Discussion

Chapter 1, Page 22

 なんだ、という落胆{らくたん}の色お浮かべてしまうようでは三流もいいところだ。ロレンスはしばし悩む振りおしてから、「存じませんねえ」と答える。実際は大嘘だが、騎士の言うことも間達っているのだから仕方ない。

[ Very lost on this page. ]

Well, with such a dejected color appearing on his face,/third-rate/good place. (?) [ ぜんぜんわっかんね ] Lawrence pretended to be troubled and replied "Dunno about that." Actually that was a big lie, but he didn't really have a choice, seeing how the knight said it. (?) [ lost as well ]

 「やはり秘密裏に行われるものなのか。異教徒は総じて卑怯{ひきょう}な連中だからな」

"I see that's still something circulating in secret. (?) [ phrasing ] Those pagans are largely a bunch of cowards."

 騎士{きし}の的外{まとはず}れな物言いが面白かったが、ロレンスはもちろん指摘せずにそれに同意すろと、おいとまお告げた。

The knight's irrelevant (?) manner of speech was amusing/Lawrence would of course naturally express his agreement/informed him that he had to leave. (?) [ Lost. What does すろと mean? ]

 騎士はうなずくともう一度蜂蜜{はちみつ}菓子{かし}の礼お言ってきた。

The knight nodded approvingly and thanked him for another honey drop.

 よほどおいしかったのだろう。下級騎士は装備や旅費に金がかかるばかりで実際の暮らしは子弟入りしたの靴職人のほうが良い。甘{あま}いものおたべたのも久しぶりに違いなかった。

It seemed to be really delicious. [ phrasing ] For the low-ranked knight, equipment, travel expenses and the like cost so much that it was in fact better to be a cobbler. (!) [ Meaning of 金がかかる and 子弟入りした? ] It had been a long while since he had eaten sweet things.

 もっとも、かといってこれ以上あげるつまりもロレンスにはない。蜂蜜菓子も安いものではないのだ。

That may be well and all, but Lawrence didn't plan on giving him any more. (?) [ What does もっともmean here? ] The candy didn't come cheap.

 「しかし、異教徒の祭り、ねえ」

"But still, a pagan festival hmm."

 修道院お後にしてだいぶ経{た}ってから、ロレンスは騎士の言葉お呟{つぶや}いて、苦笑した。

A long while after he left the monastery behind, Lawrence murmured the knight's words and gave a bitter smile.

 騎士の言うそれには心当たりがある。というよりも、この近辺にいる者ならば皆は知っていることだろう。

He had some idea about what the knight was saying. As was said (?), it was something that everyone from the local area knew about.

 ただ、それは別に異教徒のものでもなんでもない。第一、異教徒などというものはもっともっと北か、もっともっと東のほうにしかいないものだ。この近辺で行われる祭りというのは、騎士がわざわざ配置されるような類{たぐい}のものではない。どこでも行われる、麦の収穫お祝い豊作の祈願{きがん}するお祭りだ。

However, this wasn't something unique to the pagans. For one, the people called pagans and the like [ phrasing ] were originally from the north, and originally nowhere to be found in the east. Regarding the festivals practiced in the local area, purposefully stationed forces like the knight weren't present. (!) It didn't matter where it was practiced, it was always a festival of prayer to celebrate a bountiful wheat harvest (?) [ alt: a festival to celebrate and give thanks for a bountiful wheat harvest? ]

Discussion

Chapter 1, Page 23

 ただ、ちょっとこの辺の祭りは他{ほか}のところよりも特殊だったり盛大だったりするので、修道院の連中が目をつけて都市部の教会に報告したのだろう。長いこと本格的に教会の手の入らなかったところだから、教会も余計に神経を尖{とか}らせているのかもしれない。

However, the festivals around these parts were somewhat different from the others, being especially grand. The monastery monks probably kept an eye on this and reported what they saw to the city church. (?) [ alt: "central church" or "main church"? ] Normally, the church wouldn't reach it hands into such business far away (?) [ meaning of 長いこと? ], perhaps they were being overly sensitive here.

 それに、最近教会は異{い}端審問{たんしんもん}や異教徒の改宗に躍起{やつき}になっているし、最近は都市部での神学者と自然学者の言い争いも珍{めずら}しくない。昔のようにすべての民衆が無条件に教会にひれ伏すと いうことがなくなってきている。

Moreover, with the church recently going all out with inquisitions, converting pagans and the like, arguments between the theologians and naturalists (?) [ meaning of 自然学者? Similar to atheist? ] in the cities were now not uncommon. It was no longer like in the past, where the entire populace would unquestioningly prostrate themselves before the church. (?) [ meaning of なくなってきている? ]

 教会の絶対的であった威厳がほころび始めているのだ。それは町に住む者達ならば口に出せずともうすうす思っていることだろう。実際、教皇{きょうこう}は教会税が思ったより入らずに、大神殿の修復費をいくつかの国の王に申し入れたという。十年前ならば信じられない話だった。

Their absolute dignified authority was beginning to break down. It seems this was what the townsfolk voiced from their thoughts. As it turned out, (?) the tithes came up short from what the Pope expected, and the king had to be propositioned for some of the costs of the repair of the grand temple. Such a thing was inconceivable ten years ago.

 そんな情勢なので教会も威厳を復活させようと躍起なのだ。

It was in such a state of affairs that the church was pushing hard to recover their authority.

 「どこの商売も大変だな」

"It's going to be tough doing business anywhere."

 ロレンスは苦笑して、蜂蜜菓子を口に放り込んだのだった。

With a bitter smile, Lawrence popped another honey drop into his mouth.

 ロレンスが広大な麦畑に着くと、もう西の空は麦よりも綺麗{きれい}な黄金色{こがねいろ}だった。速くて鳥が小さな影となって家路を急ぎ、蛙{カエル}も寝に入ることを告げているかのようにそこかしこで鳴いていた。

By the time Lawrence arrived at the wide wheat fields, the western sky was already a shade of gold more brilliant [ lit: beautiful ] than the wheat. Soon, tiny bird shadows will be hurrying home, and the croaking of pollywogs everywhere announce their imminent slumber. [ Does 'pollywog' refer to only tadpoles, or can it refer to frogs in general as well? ]

Discussion

Chapter 1, Page 24

 麦畑はほとんど収穫が終わっているようで、祭りは近日中だろう。早ければ明後日{あさって}には行わ れるかもしれない。

The wheat harvesting looked nearly finished, the festival must be within a few days. If things pick up, it could even be the day after tomorrow.

 ロレンスの目の前に広がるのはこの地方では結構な収穫高を誇るパスロエの村の麦畑だ。収穫高が高ければ村人もそこそこ裕福{ゆうふく}になれる。その上ここ一体を管理するエーレンドット伯爵{はくしゃく}が近隣に名が轟{とどろ}くほどの変わり者で、貴族のくせに土いじりが好きなせいで自然と祭りにも協力的だから、毎年飲めや歌えの大騒{さわ}ぎのようだ。

Spread out before Lawrence's eyes were Pasroe village's wheat fields, which could boast of fairly high crop yields. Bountiful harvests meant that the villagers would soon prosper as well. Furthermore, Count Eirendott, the lord of the land (?) [ lit: one in charge of everything ], was notorious (?) in the neighborhood as an eccentric. The nobleman enjoyed gardening as a hobby and contributed to the natural environment and festivals,(?) and every year there was drinking and raucous singing.

 ただ、ロレンスはそれに参加したことがない。残念なことに部外者は参加できないのだ。

However, Lawrence would not be a part of that. It was regrettable that outsiders could not join in.

「いよう、おつかれきん」

"Hullo, a hard day's work." (?)(1)

 そんな村の麦畑の一角で荷車に麦を積んでいる農夫に声をかけた。よく実った麦だ。先物{さきもの}買いをした連中はほっと胸をなでおろしていることだろう。

Peasants were piling wheat on a cart in the corner of the village wheat fields. He called out a greeting to them. [ restructured ] The wheat was beautifully ripe. Those who had bought futures in it could breathe a sigh of relief.

「おー?」

"Ho?"

"「ヤレイさんはどの辺にいるかな」

Where can I find Mr Yarei?"

「おお、ヤレイさんならあっちの、ほれ、あっちで人がたかってるだろ。あの畑だな。今年はヤレイさんのところは若い者ばっかでな。手際が悪いせいで今年はあそこの畑の誰かが『ホ ロ』だな」

"Oh, if it's Yarei you want, he's over yonder with, look, see the group over there? That's the field. This year, there's only youngin's with him. (?) Over in that field, whoever's the slow one (?) [ lit: performs poorly ] this year's gonna be 'Horo'."

 農夫は日焼けした顔にいっぱいの笑みを浮かべながら楽しそうに言う。商人には絶対にいない、裏表のない人間だけが浮かべることのできる笑顔だ。

Merry words seemed to pass between the peasants, their tanned faces filled with emerging laughter. This was something a merchant could never be, only people without a hidden side to them [ phrasing ] could express such happy countenances.


(1) What does おつかれきん mean? For that matter, how do people normally translate おつかれ?

Discussion

Chapter 1, Page 25

 ロレンスは農夫に商売用の笑顔で礼を言って、馬をヤレイ達のほうに向げた。

Lawrence put on his business smile for the peasants, and saying his thanks turned his horse towards Yarei's group.

 その区画は農夫の言った通りに人がたかっていて、畑の中に向かって口々に何かを叫んでい た。

Like the peasant said, there were lots of people (?) [ meaning of たかっていて? ] in this area, from the middle of the field many voices were shouting something.

 それは最後まで作業をしている連中を囃{はや}し立てているのだが、別に作業の遅れを罵{ののし}っているわけではない。罵ることがすでに祭りの一部なのだ。

The shouts were taunts and jives directed at the last group to finish the work, (?)(1) but it wasn't to jeer at their tardiness. Such teasing was part and parcel of the festival.

 ロレンスがのんびりと近づいていくと、やがて騒いている内容も聞こえてきた。

Lawrence casually approached, and at length (?) [ or soon? ] was able to discern the commotion.

「狼{オオカミ}がいるぞ狼がいるぞ!」

"The wolf is here, the wolf is here!" [ alt: "Hark, hark, the wolf is here!"? ]

「それ、そこに狼が横たわっているぞ!」

"There, that's where the wolf is lying!"

「最後に狼を掴{つか}むのは誰だ誰だ誰だ!」

"Last one catches the wolf, whosit whosit whosit!"

 皆口々に囃し立て、酒が入っているかのように陽気に笑っている。ロレンスが人垣{ひとがき}の後ろに荷馬車を止めても誰も気がつかないほどだった。

Every voice was joined in raucous cadence (1), and every person merrily laughing as though in a stupor. (?) [ restructured ] Lawrence stopped his cart behind a crowd of people without any of them noticing.

 しかし、彼らが口にしている狼とは実際の狼ではない。実際に狼がいたらさすがに笑っていられないだろう。。

In spite of the villagers' cries of "wolf", there weren't in fact any. [ the village that cried wolf =P ] If a wolf were indeed present, they certainly wouldn't be laughing.

 狼とは豊作の神の化身{けしん}で、村の連中から聞いた話では最後に刈り取られる麦の中にいて、それを刈り取った者の中に入り込むという言い伝えらしい。

The wolf was the personification of the god of harvest, what was heard amongst the villagers was that it lay within the last of the wheat to be reaped. Legend had it that that the wolf would enter whoever cut this last wheat.

「最後の一束だ!」

"That's the last sheaf!"

「刈り過ぎないように注意しろ!」

"Those who have yet to cut, take heed!" (?) [ lost ]


(1) Meaning of 囃し立て here? Could it encompass both the 'jeering' and 'musical' meanings of the 囃 kanji?

Discussion