Difference between revisions of "Talk:Kenshin no Keishousha:Volume 1 Prologue"

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(Suggestion + typo)
 
 
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It all began ''in'' a certain district one evening, when blood was spilt everywhere————<br>
 
It all began ''in'' a certain district one evening, when blood was spilt everywhere————<br>
 
*odd or occasional both work here [[User:Cres|Cres]] ([[User talk:Cres|talk]]) 02:39, 6 September 2013 (CDT)
 
*odd or occasional both work here [[User:Cres|Cres]] ([[User talk:Cres|talk]]) 02:39, 6 September 2013 (CDT)
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Thanks for the suggestions, I implemented some of your changes. Feel free to just directly edit typo-esque mistakes.[[User:Thatsjustpeachy|Thatsjustpeachy]] ([[User talk:Thatsjustpeachy|talk]]) 03:05, 6 September 2013 (CDT)

Latest revision as of 10:05, 6 September 2013

A couple of suggestions for slightly smoother reading (a few word substitutions and sentence structure changes that won't change the meaning), and one typo, in the last few sentences (changes in italics):

Currently “That’s because our relationship isn’t normal.”
Kurou wryly smiled as he sarcastically stated.
Even with all the silly trifles, his time spent with Sefi and Hinako has been very thrilling. Recalling the circumstances back then, he felt that sporadic arguing wasn’t something to be of concern.
Kurou reflected over how it all started————in the end, it was probably still that one night.
It all began on a certain district one evening, when blood was spilt everywhere————

Change to “That’s because our relationship isn’t normal.”
Kurou stated sarcastically, with a wry smile.
Even with all the silly trifles, his time spent with Sefi and Hinako has been very thrilling. Recalling the circumstances back then, he felt that the occasional* argument wasn’t something to be concerned about.
Kurou reflected over how it all started————in the end, it was probably still that one night.
It all began in a certain district one evening, when blood was spilt everywhere————

  • odd or occasional both work here Cres (talk) 02:39, 6 September 2013 (CDT)

Thanks for the suggestions, I implemented some of your changes. Feel free to just directly edit typo-esque mistakes.Thatsjustpeachy (talk) 03:05, 6 September 2013 (CDT)