Talk:This title is too long!:Volume1 Chapter2: Difference between revisions

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Edit suggestions for volume 1 chapter 2 part 2
 
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== Edit and proofread for part 2 ==
Can the translator please re-check the raws for the following paragraphs?  There seems to be quite a few of grammatical and proofread errors, here are the ones I found that needs editing:


* I can't try to make any girl happy even if I tried talking to me. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
* Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, good if it doesn't happen.
* Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I just had to observe them and record their actions.
* The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of a story I should be writing'.
* "The protagonist is a Middle School student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class.
* I thought of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.
Here are some possible fixes that I can apply if there are no problems from the raws:
* I can't try to make any girl happy even I tried talking to one. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
::I used this fix since it's obvious the protagonist can't talk to himself if he wants to make any girl happy.
* Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, it will be good if it doesn't happen.
::The MC is narrating this in present time.  Perhaps there is no need to add the "it will" since the author indicates that the MC just simply skipped a few words in this narration.
* Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I thought I just had to observe them and record their actions.
::The MC is narrating this event from the past.  So "I thought" should be added right before "I just had to observe..."
* The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of story I should be writing'.
::Unnecessary 'a'
* "The protagonist is a middle school student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class
::"Middle School" is a common noun, not a proper noun.  So it should be in small caps.
* I though of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night.  I could watch anime earlier than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.
::For this last one, this is the fix I could suggest for now, the raws really need to be cross checked once more for this paragraph.
And that's all I could find for now --[[User:Sir Trollface|Sir Trollface]] ([[User talk:Sir Trollface|talk]]) 10:55, 25 October 2016 (CEST)

Latest revision as of 05:05, 2 November 2016