Difference between revisions of "Talk:Utsuro no Hako:Volume1 Prologue"
(Created page with "Grarr, mind if I push my opinion a bit? I feel that in a novel, especially a surrealistic one like Hakomari, maintaining the stylistic individuality of the writing is much mor...") |
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<small>(Actually, rereading that, it should be edited to {I think I asked him something trifling then - something along the lines of ‘Why are you giving this to me?’})</small> |
<small>(Actually, rereading that, it should be edited to {I think I asked him something trifling then - something along the lines of ‘Why are you giving this to me?’})</small> |
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| − | It's very, very difficult to explain, but I feel there's an odd charm in the choice of words and phrasing in the original - in this case, it would be the usage of {trifling}, as well as the structure of {something --- then, something like}. Using {something trivial at that point}, while more consistent with current vernacular and rules, removes the bit of 'flavor' the original phrasing imparted to the story. A similar argument applies to many of your other edits |
+ | It's very, very difficult to explain, but I feel there's an odd charm in the choice of words and phrasing in the original - in this case, it would be the usage of {trifling}, as well as the structure of {something --- then, something like}. Using {something trivial at that point}, while more consistent with current vernacular and rules, removes the bit of 'flavor' the original phrasing imparted to the story. A similar argument applies to many of your other edits - especially the more liberal ones. The original lack of conjunctions is another example of this charm. |
I realize this is also a case of the version first read imprinting itself on my perception of Hakomari as a whole, like the King James Bible on our perception of the Bible - but I'd like to defend that first style, regardless. I do think lots of your grammar edits improved the readability though. |
I realize this is also a case of the version first read imprinting itself on my perception of Hakomari as a whole, like the King James Bible on our perception of the Bible - but I'd like to defend that first style, regardless. I do think lots of your grammar edits improved the readability though. |
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Revision as of 10:07, 27 August 2012
Grarr, mind if I push my opinion a bit? I feel that in a novel, especially a surrealistic one like Hakomari, maintaining the stylistic individuality of the writing is much more important than following orthodox usage customs. "Break any rule sooner than say anything outright barbarous," after all. A translation is a new work - and I feel that EEE imparted to many parts of Hakomari a very likable style, which I feel should be preserved.
For example, the change {I think I asked him something trifling then, something like ‘Why are you giving this to me?’} -> {I think I asked him (or her) something trivial at that point, along the lines of ‘Why are you giving this to me?’}. (Actually, rereading that, it should be edited to {I think I asked him something trifling then - something along the lines of ‘Why are you giving this to me?’})
It's very, very difficult to explain, but I feel there's an odd charm in the choice of words and phrasing in the original - in this case, it would be the usage of {trifling}, as well as the structure of {something --- then, something like}. Using {something trivial at that point}, while more consistent with current vernacular and rules, removes the bit of 'flavor' the original phrasing imparted to the story. A similar argument applies to many of your other edits - especially the more liberal ones. The original lack of conjunctions is another example of this charm.
I realize this is also a case of the version first read imprinting itself on my perception of Hakomari as a whole, like the King James Bible on our perception of the Bible - but I'd like to defend that first style, regardless. I do think lots of your grammar edits improved the readability though.
