Talk:Seikoku no Ryuu Kishi: Volume 5 Prologue: Difference between revisions
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===Editing=== | |||
In part 3, the words [Right at the moment, a thought flash-passed.], while technically not wrong, is rather awkward. I recommend changing it. My attempt: [Right then, a sudden thought occurred to him.][[User:Valthan|Valthan]] ([[User talk:Valthan|talk]]) 23:18, 7 August 2014 (CDT) | In part 3, the words [Right at the moment, a thought flash-passed.], while technically not wrong, is rather awkward. I recommend changing it. My attempt: [Right then, a sudden thought occurred to him.][[User:Valthan|Valthan]] ([[User talk:Valthan|talk]]) 23:18, 7 August 2014 (CDT) | ||
Also in part 3, some words during the knighting ceremony didn't look right. The part that goes [...surpassed thee expatiation...]. Shouldn't it be [...surpassed all expectations... ]? expatiation is a word, but I don't think it's the one your looking for. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/expatiation?s=t [[User:Valthan|Valthan]] ([[User talk:Valthan|talk]]) 23:38, 7 August 2014 (CDT) | |||
Revision as of 04:38, 8 August 2014
Editing
In part 3, the words [Right at the moment, a thought flash-passed.], while technically not wrong, is rather awkward. I recommend changing it. My attempt: [Right then, a sudden thought occurred to him.]Valthan (talk) 23:18, 7 August 2014 (CDT)
Also in part 3, some words during the knighting ceremony didn't look right. The part that goes [...surpassed thee expatiation...]. Shouldn't it be [...surpassed all expectations... ]? expatiation is a word, but I don't think it's the one your looking for. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/expatiation?s=t Valthan (talk) 23:38, 7 August 2014 (CDT)