User talk:Demon8796
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StB
Hi, do keep all narrative tense to past tense. (this is about the short story about the 4th.) I'll follow up with a more detailed feedback later this week. --KuroiHikari (Talk | ) 09:50, 16 October 2013 (CDT)
Ok, it's fine. 1 thing though, the part about number 4 primogenitor is intentional. So, if you have a good way to say fourth primogenitor without using fourth primogenitor, I'll love to see your suggestion. --KuroiHikari (Talk | ) 10:02, 16 October 2013 (CDT)
Yondaime! lol It just seemed kinda off to me. Nothing comes to mind so I guess it'll stay like that. Do you have any reason why you don't want "fourth primogenitor"? Just wondering. Anyway, thanks for the feedback! --Demon8796 (talk) 19:53, 16 October 2013 (CDT)
