Talk:Baccano:Volume1 Chapter3

Hup hup

Take 2: Whoa-oh.

My biggest issue with 'woah' is that it indicates an element of surprise... which 'yotto' doesn't :(

Suggestion: Whoa there.

Haha, sounds like he's taming a horse. Good suggestion, but not quite there. 'Yotto' is something said when doing heavy-lifting or exerting force, and usually guys say it to themselves... Similar to how you might say 'up we go'/'there we go' when you're lifting a crate.

long page is long

Yeah, tell me about it. This chapter felt like it would never end. But seriously, go sleep :P The stuff's in no hurry to be edited.

Disappearing notes...

... mean no probs! Thanks :)

146: adverbs and verbs

Ermazing: Adverbs and their sounding like verbs. It sounds fine, but the grammar freak in me has to fix it. Still doesn't sound quite right... Elkin: Maybe a semi-colon would help? Tsk tsk, Grammar Nazis should know their semi-colons! (j/k)

261: food chains

Ermazing: going for a more 'American' feel here, instead of 'such trash' Elkin: *thumbs up* I'm more a Brit-speaker, if you haven't already gathered

281: bitter bugs

Ermazing: Sounds colloquial. Elkin: Point.

403: Firo's frowning shoulder

"Giving two pats to Firo’s shoulder, who was scowling at the inspector..."

Ermazing: kind of a grammer tick, here. It sounds like Firo's shoulder was scowling... but for that, the whole sentence would have to be warped around. Elkin: yeah, same problem. Or "Giving two pats to the shoulder of the scowling Firo..."?