Talk:This title is too long!:Volume1 Chapter2

Edit and proofread for part 2

Can the translator please re-check the raws for the following paragraphs? There seems to be quite a few of grammatical and proofread errors, here are the ones I found that needs editing:

• I can't try to make any girl happy even if I tried talking to me. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.
• Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, good if it doesn't happen.
• Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I just had to observe them and record their actions.
• The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of a story I should be writing'.
• "The protagonist is a Middle School student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class.
• I thought of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.

Here are some possible fixes that I can apply if there are no problems from the raws:

• I can't try to make any girl happy even I tried talking to one. In any case, I was unable to converse with someone of the opposite gender normally.

I used this fix since it's obvious the protagonist can't talk to himself if he wants to make any girl happy.

• Perhaps there will be more trying periods in the future, it will be good if it doesn't happen.

The MC is narrating this in present time. Perhaps there is no need to add the "it will" since the author indicates that the MC just simply skipped a few words in this narration.

• Since the characters popping out from the notebook would move and interact on their own, I thought I just had to observe them and record their actions.

The MC is narrating this event from the past. So "I thought" should be added right before "I just had to observe..."

• The precedent problem was that, 'I didn't know what sort of story I should be writing'.

Unnecessary 'a'

• "The protagonist is a middle school student, and on a certain day, he found a girl sitting at an empty seat in his class

"Middle School" is a common noun, not a proper noun. So it should be in small caps.

• I though of eating the potato chips while watching anime in the hotel at night. I could watch anime earlier than those in my hometown, and that was an added perk I was grateful for.

For this last one, this is the fix I could suggest for now, the raws really need to be cross checked once more for this paragraph.

And that's all I could find for now --Sir Trollface (talk) 10:55, 25 October 2016 (CEST)