Failing Witch:Volume1 Episode1

Status: Incomplete

2/9 parts completed

   

Episode 1: The Broom, the Unfortunate Witch, and the Demon Lord

1

The stone apartment got too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter.

It was early in the morning, before all the newspapers had even been delivered, when a loud voice called his name through the apartment window.

“…goro. Myousou Yagorooooo!!!”

“You’re being a public nuisance, don’tcha think!?”

He shouted toward the window, nearly causing the bipedal black cat familiar to fall off of the roof sheathing. He quickly opened the window and rescued the kitty (who moved in a weirdly human way) carrying a waterproof cloth delivery bag. But on the ground below his 2nd-floor window, a gentle young woman with brown skin was smiling up at him.

She owned a nearby used book store, which primarily dealt in grimoires.

“My, my. Yagoro, you were the one who asked me to check in on you if you didn’t respond at this hour because it could mean you had died from overwork or from a botched meditation.”

“…”

Apparently he had been too focused on coming up with quiz questions. This seemed like a lot of fuss for a short nap. The smartphone sitting on the side table displayed the current time. Maybe he should have set an alarm.

He got the feeling the silver-haired, brown-skinned bookseller would continue to call for him if he took too long, so he couldn’t take his time making breakfast. He grabbed some hard bread that kept at room temperature and ate that while tossing his phone and a different manual into an empty water tank where the former was “dismantled”. Once it gained the color, shape, and function of an electric toothbrush in accordance with the paper manual, he washed his face and brushed his teeth. It was fortunate he could use these things without a power source in this world.

He lived in an HEA house. The enclosed water tank contained lots of wooden ants. By tossing in one of the thick handwritten manuals, the ants would rearrange and dig up the colorful dirt they lived in to create any number of home appliances. But if he got too lazy, his room would be full of devices unknown to this world, so he generally only let them eat one manual at a time and he would let the device return to dirt before he left the house.

(I would love to share these inventions with the neighborhood because it’s a lot more convenient than cooking over a wood fire, but a lot of people would make a fuss if I messed with the cultural level. Like the Benandanti.)

He covered his upper body with armor made of bound parchment, wore his male sailor uniform over that, attached extra armor over that, and attached his “weapon” at his hip. He had to wear a tight leather corset around his waist because the parchment armor would give him a noticeable gut if he didn’t.

Then he heard another call from the window.

“Yagorooo!!”

“Yes, yes, I’m coming, shut up!!”

He grabbed his key and rushed out of the room. He ran down the hallway and out of the building to find the used bookseller smiling. She had done so much to help him he should really be more polite with her, but she always got angry when he was overly polite. A cute kind of angry, but still.

“Hee hee. That was quick for someone who only just woke up. How did you get ready so fast?”

Using his home electrical appliances, or HEA. But he couldn’t tell her about that.

She was a gentle young woman of indeterminate age. She had long fluffy silver hair and healthy brown skin and, as evidenced by the broom with a shiny silver handle and gold grapevine decorations she held, she was most likely a self-taught witch. The apron embroidered with a bunny rabbit clashed with the traditional black dress she wore below it. Also, when she wore it, the animal on the chest was rendered nearly unrecognizable. Why? Because a certain part of her anatomy had grown to an extent some might call excessive.

The brown woman, who had a way of raising Yagoro’s blood pressure so early in the morning, smiled gently as she greeted him.

“Good morning, Yagoro.”

“A pleasant morning to you, ma’am.”

“My, my. Are you tired after staying up all night?”

His overly polite greeting didn’t even faze her. She only smiled with a hand on her cheek.

For that matter, he had never seen her even remotely flustered.

“Oh, dear. Yagoro, your knee protector is out of place. It isn’t going to protect you at all like that. Here, I will fix it for you. There, all done.”

She didn’t even give him time to fix it himself. Her chest seemed all the more excessive when looking down at her while she crouched in front of him. Specifically, he couldn’t see her stomach at all. But he wasn’t ungrateful enough to say any of this out loud.

“Hee hee. I see you are still carrying that illusionist’s wand with you. The one that grows when you wave it. Do you put on a show for people on the street corner? You’re a lot more adorable than you look.”

The bookseller poked at the stick he wore at the side of his hip.

He couldn’t tell her it was in fact an extendable baton. This shiny world of swords and sorcery apparently had bandits not just in the fields and caves but in the towns too, but he didn’t feel safe using a bladed weapon to keep them away. And as long as he could draw up a diagram, the local blacksmith did a great job of making whatever he needed. Although when he thought about it, it was very frightening that this fantasy society let him just buy one of those without even having to register it as a weapon.

(It’s honestly strange they can make something like this but can’t make guns. But maybe it’s for the best they haven’t invented those in this world.)

As far as Myousou Yagoro was concerned, it just had to be something sufficiently long and heavy that didn’t include any magical symbols like a sword or knife would.

The young woman slowly straightened her legs to stand back up.

“Are you sure you’re ready to head out for the day? You seem emptyhanded to me.”

“?”

“Hee hee. Today is garbage day, remember? Old parchment day only comes twice a month, so if you miss it, won’t you end up with a lot piled up? Parchment is such a pain because it gets heavy when you have too much of it. And even when it’s preserved, it must have some kind of nutrients because you end up with mold and bugs when you leave it out too long.”

He had completely forgotten.

Not that it was garbage day, but the amount of parchment.

The manuals he used for his HEA house (which he had to keep a secret from the entire world) were all handwritten on parchment using a quill made from a goose or swallow feather, but using so much seemed unusual to anyone who didn’t know that.

“Well, I’ll be fine if I use the backs of fliers.”

“Oh? Yagoro, are you an artist?”

He heard a bleating from the ground near the gentle and very curvy witch.

That was a Sketchgoat, a goat bred in this world to support the parchment-dependent society.

(Just like a fluffy sheep, it lives symbiotically with humans because it can’t survive without periodic shearing. In that sense, you could call it a sacrificial scapegoat, don’tcha think?)

“This goat really seems to like having his outer layer of skin ‘sheared’, doesn’t he? I wonder of it’s like peeling away a sunburn.”

“Hee hee. You were so nervous your first time shearing him with that reed knife. Had you always used storebought parchment instead of supplying your own?”

The bookseller used one hand to lift a pile of parchment tied together with string. With parchment, each piece was thicker than with plant-based paper. Which meant it was heavier too.

“Why don’t you create your own familiar?” asked Yagoro. “To help out with your magic. Or you could buy a cheap used one.”

“A domestic familiar, you mean? Don’t you have to draw out the temporary muscles and fat with an incantation and then create the details using a 3D jigsaw puzzle that takes the place of its skeleton? I prefer real animals because they’re so cute.”

The bookseller looked somewhat troubled while she petted the Sketchgoat to answer its bleats for attention.

The texts from Earth said a demon gave a witch a familiar at her first Sabbath and she could then sell it to or give it away to another witch, but in this world, several witches had to be gathered for an objective and impartial safety check based on a thick manual to ensure it was all right for a witch to go through the puzzle-like familiar construction process in a populated area. Even the trainees still struggling with the entrance exam would know the necessary technique, but you had to go through that ritual if you wanted to use it outside.

Yagoro recalled the black cat delivery worker he had rescued at his window.

“Are they really that creepy? I mean, it’s not like you’re creating an entirely fictional creature. The puzzle is focused on their skeleton and joints, so they’re identical to a real animal from the outside.”

“That you can’t tell them apart is what scares me.”

A massive dragon loudly flapped its wings to fly by in the blue sky overhead. But that wasn’t an artificial familiar. It was a giant monster born from a test tube in Maleficium. Chimaera and kraken fossils had been discovered in older strata, but there were no natural monsters in modern times. There were reports of elf sightings deep in the distant forests, but they had never been officially confirmed. Much like the Japanese wolf.

“Also, Yagoro, did you check your hair? Here, I’ll do it for you.”

“I redyed it recently, so it should still be fine.”

Yagoro teased his bangs with his fingers. The bookseller also viewed his unnatural blond hair.

“My, my. Natural black hair is used as a dye in the most powerful curses, so if you aren’t careful, you could end up bald after being attacked by scissors-wielding madwomen out in the streets at night.”

“I’ll be careful.”

(Madwomen, huh? Now there’s a scary thought. You would have to be mad to attack someone to cut off their hair.)

Misinformation ran rampant even this large city of swords and sorcery. It didn’t help that “boiling pig hair to make it rain” was real magic.

That was one way his life in this world was very much supported by the bookseller. She had saved him many times over with her trivia about living her and with her rare books of useful magic.

After parting ways with her, the tutor boy walked from the stone apartment building to the main street.

He saw white and black.

The tiered city was designed with a chessboard pattern of orderly marble and obsidian. That was the best way to describe Temple School City. The red pieces of metal shaped like giant scales were the elevators that had become quite popular recently. The elevators were little more than a cage with a railing that was suspended by a single thick chain, so they were terrifying to use.

(Their size is hard to judge from a distance, but the scale supports are more than 100m tall. Of course, that height is necessary to rotate well above any of the roofs in this tiered city.)

Overall, the city resembled a diamond-shaped bowl. Or you could call it a reverse pyramid. It made a tiered descent the closer you got to the center. And at the center of the arena-like city was a massive artificial lake with a radius of more than 5km. At the very center of the lake, past the white diamond dust that hovered over the water no matter the temperature, was the dream of all witches – Summon Restricted Magic School Maleficium.

Yagoro’s apartment was located in Red District, Block C. His destination, Caraway Cs Preparatory School, was in Green District, Block R. He was near the outer perimeter, which meant at the top tier. But there were a lot of tall buildings, so the buildings looked fairly normal even when viewed from here.

“Good morning, Elen.”

“Good morning, Blancmange. Those commercial Nap Sheep are dangerous. The entire idea is for them to give you a nap, but I slept for 8 hours straight. My head still feels so heavy…”

The various girls around were reciting “Happy Halloween” as an incantation and giving a quick wave of their Formula Brooms before pulling out crepes and donuts so early in the morning. The wave was necessary because the incantation alone would have no effect. Technically speaking, they were mixing a potion that would instantly create a snack. None of the food stands were selling actual food. They instead sold plates carrying parchment recipes held between clear glass panels. The quantity of flower shops were for the witches who frequently used herbs in their ceremonies. There were also shops selling cards and various sizes of crystal ball.

Most of the people on the street were girls between the ages of 15 and 18.

In this world, hopeful witches were thrown to the extremely harsh entrance exam immediately after completing their compulsory education, which covered what would be called elementary and middle school on Earth. Failing the exam was the assumed result, so people ordinarily began working after graduating from their compulsory education. But it was common for girls to try at the entrance exam for around three years, so there were also some sexy young woman who were definitely past 20.

(That said…hmm. I never know where to look.)

One girl wore a vampire costume that amounted to a cloak over her naked body, another wore a prisoner costume of thick chains wrapped around her bare skin, and a third wore a succubus costume of black leather clothing with fake horns and tail. The morning rush hour was flooded with girls in what looked a lot like Halloween costumes. Including a giant pumpkin lantern rolling around nearby.

Yes, Halloween. Needless to say, All Hallows’ Eve and the Celtic festival did not exist in this world. Was this another piece of culture born from the influence of the knowledge taken from Earth? If Yagoro thoughtlessly let people see his HEA house, it could have a similar result.

“Did you hear? A witch singlehandedly bombed some knights-turned-bandits in the great forest. Maleficium graduates really are next level.”

“Hey, you’re absentmindedly lighting a fire in your hand again! Hot! You’re burning my hair!!”

While two girls who looked like sisters were playfully arguing, other girls slapped their cheeks. Each time they did, the look of their face changed. They were literally using magic to instantly change their makeup. Was it a form of transformation magic using ointment or an incantation?

Changing the color or pattern of an object was a classic form of stage magic, most commonly seen with handkerchiefs, but this was different. These differences couldn’t be explained away as simply applying a thin sheet or removing paint from the skin.

“I wish I could pull off a more mature look, but this makeup makes my face so tired. It’s so thick and heavy I doubt my sensitive skin can stand it for a full day.”

“Ha ha ha. A sporty look is more true to who you are and everyone seems to like it better too.”

Magic could be used to do just about anything. It completely changed the options available in everyday life.

But that was only true if you had fully acquired the skills needed to pull off what you wanted.

“I just have to get into Maleficium. Then I’m guaranteed a spot among the super elite witches who even the castle and public agencies rely on. I swear I’m passing the exam this year and earning a life of luxury that even makes the nobility jealous!”

(You would think I wouldn’t need a weapon to walk around town in a fantasy world full of girls showing off so much skin, but you’d be wrong. Not having one brings its own troubles, so everyone displays just enough of a threat to deter anyone else from trying anything. Kind of a heartless world, don’tcha think?)

And…

“Good morning, teacher. What’s with the focused look first thing in the morning? Oh, I know. You’re checking out the girls around here.”

“Good morning, Viocia. But could you not make comments that lead to devastating misunderstandings? Especially when men’s social status is already shrinking year by year because it’s thought we can’t use magic.”

“What, old friends can’t make jokes?”

“We only met a month ago. Not exactly old, don’tcha think?”

Myousou Yagoro sighed and slumped his shoulders when the nearby naked cloak girl glared at him. His flashy male sailor uniform was not his preferred way of dressing. It was as far as he was willing to go to blend into this city of constant partying. Or to be more accurate, it was an outfit the silver-haired, brown-skinned used bookseller had prepared for him when he wasn’t sure what to do. In this flashy world, a thick suit of armor or a tuxedo only looked like someone handing out fliers on the street corner or like a café waiter.

“I’ve been meaning to ask: what’s with the weird wand? Is it an illusionist’s prop?”

He opted not to comment on that one. He couldn’t let anyone know what the extendable baton really was.

All the girls wore such revealing outfits because of how openminded the Aspect of Antiquity was and because the Aspect of Amorality took advantage of the malicious stories invented about witches. But things could have been worse. Without the Aspect of Admiration acting as a brake, the view on the city streets would have been even more shocking.

“Hmm, hm, hmm. Breakfast. Yummy, yummy breakfast☆”

“What are you doing, Viocia?”

“I bought a recipe at that stand, so now the food is just a broom wave away. I’m having a cupcake for breakfast today! Tah dah! Happy Halloween!!”

A puff of colorful smoke burst out and a cake with the color and scent of a banana appeared in her hand. Yagoro’s reflex was to ask if a cake really counted as a meal, but bananas were a standard choice for a quick breakfast. It was a borderline case.

That said, “new and improved” was a standard marketing phrase in this world too, so there was always a new version of the instant recipes to buy.

“Why don’t you visit the more witchy stands selling flower seeds and seedlings? You only ever bother with the dessert magic.”

“Eh heh heh. That’s cause you taught me this magic, teacher!”

It was hard to win when she honestly failed to pick up on the criticism implied by his words.

No matter how great a witch’s mastery of magic, they never suppressed their desires.

It was thought those desires could drive them to reach their goals when consciously controlled.

The ever-disappointing girl put her Formula Broom, which resembled a hero’s sword, on her back. She wore her long dress that looked like a pumpkin tart thanks to its autumn colors of orange, red, and purple. She was a witch who still could not fly without close guidance. Thet fact that she could approach Yagoro in that pointy hat without him noticing showed just how colorful the girls of this city were. And with all the bare skin they showed off, he never knew where he was supposed to look.

This was an incredible city where half the population had previously taken and failed the exam. That created a unique pattern to the flow of foot traffic, so the peak time for the streetside stands was the commute to and from school.

“Try the Rabbit Gardening Service! Miss, miss, are you having trouble with your home garden? Just dump the contents of this cauldron on it and those vegetables will be ready to pick in no time!”

“Witch exams are all about motivation and focus! Do not forget that potion mixing and synthesis can give you a leg up in our competitive society. With this homemade aphrodisiac kit, you can create the circumstances you need to truly ‘fall in love’ with studying and test taking. The key to victory is right here!!”

“Limited time offer! Wouldn’t you like a collection of questions from past Maleficium entrance exams? Study these and you’re guaranteed to pass. When you know what kinds of questions to expect, how can you not rise to the top? Kee hee hee.”

A certain stupid girl was so tempted she literally had a finger in her mouth, so Yagoro decided he had to intervene.

“Viocia.”

“Aweh? But…but, teacher, past exam questions would be so useful. That’s like a treasure!”

“Every single one of the countless prep schools across the city has to be doing everything they can to get their hands on what kinds of questions you’ll find on the exam, don’tcha think? Because if any one school managed it, it would unbalance the entire city’s economy. At the very least, you’re not going to find them for sale on the side of the road.”

Not to mention that no one remembered the questions from their Maleficium entrance exam. The elites who had passed all kept their silence on the subject, but the majority who failed all lost their memories of the exam just like the memory of a dream fades after you wake up.

Witches weren’t the only people hawking their wares on the streetside. There were also plenty of men and plenty of women who had given up on being witches. No one knew better what sales pitches would sound tempting than someone who had attempted that path in life and failed.

So if any of the stands were offering something that sounded too good to be true, it was.

“There’s no such thing as a perfect diet guide. Because once you sold that, you could never sell another one again. Exam study guides work the same way, don’tcha think? There’s no easy way out, so don’t listen to their enticing promises.”

“Uhh.”

He called Viocia’s name again. Had she made that last awkward groan because she had fallen for the diet guide scam before?

(Understandable when the rules for broom-riding witches are the complete opposite from the rules for knights and martial artists. The lighter a witch, the bigger her advantage.)

The face-to-face transactions like that were bad enough, but there were also fliers passed out for correspondence communities where people shared their exam worries or shared the new textbooks that went for sale each week. There were even fliers advertising cheating teams. The entrance exam city was rife with a wide variety of scams.

“Oh, it’s Dorothea.”

The girl hopped up and down, earning her an annoyed look from a water seller carrying water buckets hanging from a long stick balanced over his shoulders, but she ignored that and called out with a smile.

The girl who answered her call had light blonde wavy hair fluffily spread out at shoulder blade length. Every witch had her own way to carry her broom and Dorothea simply held the center of the handle in a hand. In Earth terms, it was a lot like how a salaryman would carry around a folded umbrella like a sheathed sword. (This was actually somewhat dangerous for whoever walked behind her.)

She was dressed as a zombie girl, which meant bandages wrapped around her bare skin. But the glasses girl herself was very cute, so it made her look like a white no-bake cheesecake.

Of course, zombie powder and voodoo were not a natural part of this world.

Her name was Dorothea Rockpool.

The shy bookish girl attended the same prep school as Viocia. Just like Viocia, she had failed the exam once and was 15. When the two girls walked side by side, Dorothea stood a head taller than Viocia and she may have even been about as tall as Myousou Yagoro. In the same way(?), her chest was quite large.

She was shy, but costumes were the norm in this world and she only smiled timidly at her friend.

“Hee hee. G-good morning, Viocia.”

“Huff puff.”

A handshake wasn’t enough for Viocia, so she hugged Dorothea from the front and breathed deep at her chest. The plain but curvy girl was only wearing the bandages on her upper body and they looked dangerously close to unraveling.

“Dorothea, help me eat this banana cupcake!”

“Eh? Ehh? You shouldn’t eat instant food, Viocia. It’s bad for you.”

As her tutor, Yagoro felt like he had to intervene here.

“Viocia, skirt check. Hugging your friend is fine, but her broom caught and lifted your skirt. I swear you’re a miracle worker when it comes to clumsiness.”

“Eh? Y-yikes!?”

Viocia blushed and quickly covered up.

There was a werewolf girl in a fur bikini and a vampire girl in a naked cloak walking nearby, but for some reason having your panties seen was still considered embarrassing (and she was weirdly dedicated to the magical look, so the butt was printed to look like a pumpkin). It made Yagoro wonder why she bothered wearing them at all, but then he recalled a more fundamental issue. He couldn’t let this place confuse him. The naked cloak was obviously the stranger thing here.

Or is naked+1 article of clothing considered the norm here? he wondered.

Then the busty bandages glasses girl noticed his presence.

“Eh? Oh. G-g-g-good morning, Mr. Tutor. Eep.”

(Speak up. Why are you so quiet!? Not to mention the tears and the blushing cheeks. What happened to no one here caring how skimpy they’re dressed? Are my eyes the only ones that bother her!?)

Viocia may have sensed something from her suddenly-shy friend.

She looked back and forth between Yagoro and Dorothea.

“Hmph. He’s my teacher. We signed a tutoring contract, so he’s my exclusive tutor! Don’t even think about stealing him away with your big boobs, Dorothea.”

“Try to remember we’re outside on a sunny morning, idiot.”

The failing witch puffed out her cheeks, held her arms behind her back, and tackled Yagoro. While positioned so she would hit him with her flat chest.

“What now? That kind of hurts when you’re so flat, you know?”

“Why would you say that after a pure maiden worked up her courage!?”

Some deep clanking sounds passed them by from behind. They came from a fancy carriage that looked something like a teacup, but wheels were even less suited for this tiered city than horse hooves. The shaking had to be unbearable. Curtains blocked their view of who was inside, but the elderly coachman looked like his back was killing him. That had to be the result of some rich girl showing off her wealth.

That was not the mode of transportation everyone in the city hoped to use.

“Wow!” “Wow!”

Viocia and Dorothea cried out together while looking up into the early morning sky.

A witch on a broom flew by overhead. And she wasn’t alone. Formations of several witches – sometimes more than 10 – flew together, traveling from the perimeter of the diamond-shaped city toward a certain point in the giant lake. Leisurely soaring over the difficult-to-navigate tiered city and passing through the diamond dust covering the lake was a privilege granted only those accepted into Summon Restricted Magic School Maleficium.

They were practically legends, but they had their own daily routines and commute times, so the Maleficium witches flying together in the morning had become one of the city’s famous sights. There were even sightseeing tours scheduled to catch it from location with a good view. Even the Halloween costumed exam prep students stopped and looked up despite seeing it every single day. Most watched with a jealousy bordering on a hunger, but even they couldn’t hide the light of admiration in their eyes.

They all wanted to soar through the sky.

And that gave them the motivation they needed to crawl along the ground for now. For the not-insignificant period of time called a year.

“Incredible. I wish I could get those witches’ autographs.”

“I know. W-we live in the same city, eep, but they have a completely different aura.”

Excited Dorothea used her bandages to wipe off her fogged-up glasses.

The Maleficium students slept in the same city as everyone else. And there was an unspoken understanding among the entrance exam students that the Maleficium witches didn’t even seem real. Even though those witches flying above them now had all been entrance exam students at one point.

Pass rates and lists of passed students were the best advertisements for prep schools.

Even the sample images for the instant recipes used silver halide photographs or lithographs, but even if you had photos of the Maleficium students and searched all around the city, you would never find one. Did they disguise themselves, or did they distort other people’s perception? Whatever the case, they used some kind of magical camouflage to avoid causing a scene.

But this was not a cruel distinction that would forever be out of reach.

It was a legend with a very real path to reach it.

So maybe it was only natural for the girls to get so excited.

“H-hey, Viocia. Eep. Do you think we can be witches like that next year?”

“Of course we can, Dorothea. Heh heh☆ Let’s study hard and pass the exam together!”

Myousou Yagoro sighed too quietly for them to hear.

He might just have to give her a talking to later on.

2

Green District, Block R.

Quite a few witches studied at Caraway Cs Preparatory School and it had a lot of practical lessons.

The boxy building stood 10 stories tall. It looked as generic as the nearby apartment buildings, but keep in mind that it was only “normal” by the standards of Temple School City, where everything was flashy. Much like a government building or courthouse in America, the front entrance was lined with several decorative columns. Not that anyone in this world would know what an American courthouse looks like.

“It’s weird how the letters in the prep school names change sometimes.”

“That’s because climate change changes the region and climate conditions where the herbs grow on Earth.”

Viocia tilted her head at Yagoro’s answer.

Viocia, Dorothea, and so many other girls gathered in a large garage-like space. That was the cauldron classroom. The layout brought back some old memories for Yagoro. Large work tables were lined up at even intervals to give each team plenty of space to work in. It was a lot like a workshop or cooking classroom. The witches formed teams of three where one created, one used, and one spoke. They would each handle one of the Three Aspects when using the cauldron.

As a witch prep school, all the students were girls, so the atmosphere seemed somehow sweet. In fact…

“(Hey, Viocia. You’re sneaking snacks during class again, aren’tcha!?)”

“(I-I’m studying. I’m experimenting by testing new recipes.)”

Myousou Yagoro was not a student here.

He was only sneaking in to support Viocia’s studies. Since he was only 17, he didn’t stand out too much in the school.

“(I still think they’d get mad at you if they realized you were here, teacher.)”

“(I’m not the only one. There are tutors, fortune tellers, and other outsiders mixed in. While classes are fixed for the year in compulsory education, this is a prep school. I doubt anyone really knows everyone they’re sharing a classroom with.)”

That wasn’t the only reason, though.

There was one crucial difference between a prep school and a normal school.

“Okay, before your practical lesson, I need all of you to totally open up your Formula Brooms. I need you to remember this part. Long ago, men who used magic with their own power were called wizards and women who used magic by borrowing power from nature or others were called witches. Witch powers were, like, really powerful, but they were a real pain in the ass if the witch lost control. Those failures were blown way out of proportion and witches were totally seen as walking disasters at one time.”

Schanze Dwelling.

The instructor standing at the lectern and guiding the students through the interior maintenance work was a woman in her 20s.

“But things totally changed after all knowledge of this world’s magic was lost. That’s why all new magic is based on the knowledge, like, dragged out of another world called Earth. That means it can only be used by borrowing someone else’s power. In other words, the only magic that can for real be used anymore is the female witch magic. But remember – the risk of losing control is totally still there, so you need to be careful. Everyone takes Formula Brooms for granted, but they’re not just super convenient witchcraft devices.”

Her brown skin tone likely wasn’t its natural color. She had thoroughly tanned it all using Sunlight Seals, a type of talisman infused with the power of sunshine. Her long blonde hair was wrapped several times atop her head, giving it a lot of body. Her large chest was covered by a black vest and a leopard-print show-off bra, she wore a scrunchie on her wrist, and her hips were surrounded by a tight ultra-miniskirt. She also wore a necktie, fishnet stockings held up by a garter belt, and bright red stilettos. A blouse was not erroneously omitted from that description – she really wasn’t wearing one. That meant her smooth shoulders and oblong navel were uncovered and what should have been a teacher-like suit ended up making her look more like a casino dealer. Altogether, the gyaru-style instructor had Mont Blanc colors.

“(Ugh, I’ll totally do any job as long as it pays, but I’m a self-taught witch who never graduated from Maleficium, so what the hell am I doing teaching kids how to pass the entrance exam?)”

“We can hear you say that, you know?” whispered Myousou Yagoro.

Yes. Self-taught witches could still use magic even if they hadn’t gotten into Maleficium.

All they needed was a Formula Broom, whether it was bought at a store or inherited as a family heirloom. And once it was hers, she could take it apart and perform some level of maintenance and adjustments.

But Maleficium witches could go a step further and remodel their Formula Broom.

That was a taboo that went beyond simple maintenance, which only ensured it was safe to use, or even minor adjustments, which were used to optimize it and fully harness its original specs. By crossing that line and altering the core, they could draw out power well above the design specs and even change the element and nature of the broom. But the core was considered off limits for good reason. Opening it up created the risk of the broom losing all power.

Only the witches who passed the entrance exam could cross that line.

Would you rely on borrowed power, or would you push that world of magic to new heights?

Getting into Maleficium greatly expanded a witch’s options.

“I totally don’t care as long as I get my money. So pay me please. Anyway, let’s start by reviewing the basics of a witch and her broom. These days, the Formula Broom is totally the standard partner for a witch, but there are old stories of some crazy witches who flew around on a fencepost, a giant mortar, or even a pig.”

This was one clear difference between compulsory education and a prep school. At a prep school, the student paid to be taught how to pass the exam. None of the teachers here were thoughtful educators who cared at all about instilling healthy ways of thinking into their students or teaching them communication skills instead of just cramming the lessons into their minds.

So as long as it didn’t interfere with their pay, the instructors here wouldn’t question or kick out an outsider like Yagoro. Sadly, the teachers at Carraway Cs Preparatory School weren’t going to put themselves at risk to protect their students from trouble.

Whispered voices could be heard in the cauldron classroom, which used the gentle lighting of Moonlight Seals to avoid damaging all the old books and antiques inside. The boy mixed in with them was being observed from a distance.

“(That’s the famous Navigate Exam.)”

“(I hear any student who signs a tutoring contract with that sailor is guaranteed to get into Maleficium.)”

He really wished they would stop spreading those rumors. He only wore the white sailor uniform to fit into a world with naked cloak vampires and bandaged zombie girls walking around. And he had never asked anyone to use that silly nickname.

“(So he’s the Prince Charming who helps you pass the exam, huh?)”

(Wait, a prince now!? I know I'm dressed in white, but since when did I become royalty? And where did the charming come from!?)

Myousou Yagoro shuddered, but…

“(But is it really true? His name isn’t on any of the prep school lists of successful students, so he must be self-taught.)”

“(Forget self-taught – he’s a boy. He can’t be a witch at all, so he can’t be a graduate. It’s all a bluff.)”

He finally laughed at that one.

Blending into the background to support Viocia was no easy task, but it was easier when the other people around thought he was just a liar. Unlike a sports tournament, the entrance exams were a highly anonymous competition. With the exception of referrals and non-academic admissions, a famous name was more of a hindrance than anything.

And the oblivious girl was already resting her head on her desk and pouting her lips.

“Hmph. Who cares about all this boring theoretical stuff. I want to awaken to unmatched magic power and go zooming off into the night sky.”

“Viocia.”

Had she really taken the exam once already?

Yagoro needed to correct this mistake since it made her sound more like a dreaming 5-year-old than anything.

“As convenient as it would be, the human body does not contain any magic power. All we have is our willpower, so we need the appropriate knowledge to reach into another world and draw out the power we want to wield. That’s a common misconception, so do be careful.”

“Hweh?”

“Witches in particular borrow all their power. That’s subtly different from using or controlling your power. No matter how powerful your results, you will never grow any further if you lose sight of that fact, don’tcha think? So if you don’t want to be one of the witches who dies plummeting from the sky, make sure you never forget that.”

This was a good opportunity, so the blond tutor spoke to Viocia who was passing folded parchment notes (“Stop that!”) with Zombie Girl Dorothea seated at a different work desk.

“Viocia, how do you view your classmates here?”

“Eh? Well, since we ended up in the same class, we might as well help each other study, right? I wish everyone in Carraway Cs could all pass the exam together.”

“No, that’s not going to cut it.” Yagoro bluntly rejected her interpretation. He kept his voice low but his tone was firm. “Prep schools are not like compulsory education. Everyone paid the hefty price for the same basic textbooks, but everyone has different supplementary materials. Some people don’t have the money and others don’t have the time or focus to read all of the books they bought. And whoever doesn’t have that extra help will lose. That’s how the entrance exam works.”

“But that gives the people with lots of time and money an unfair advantage.”

“And you chose to rely on a tutor yourself, right? You have me this year. That’s a special trump card only you have access to. At the very least, I know I’m not helping anyone else study.”

Viocia groaned awkwardly.

But that she felt guilty about it showed she still had the wrong mindset. If he didn’t correct this soon, it would mentally trip her up down the road. This was even more of a threat than if she let the results of each and every practice exam influence her too much.

“With entrance exams, it simply isn’t possible for everyone to pass. You aren’t in the last place group in a marathon. You need to be secretly doing more than everyone else around you to give you the leg up to win.”

The girl still didn’t look convinced.

Yagoro thought her way of thinking was virtuous, but she needed to learn that wasn’t enough to win here.

“You can’t just be first in this prep school when there are countless prep schools across the city. And there are plenty of students who don’t rely on a prep school after their first failure. Not to mention the students aiming to pass the exam on their first try, even if that’s basically unheard of. Viocia, you need to think of this as competing against every last one of them and aiming for the top spot. More than 99.9999% of hopeful witches fail the exam, so getting into Maleficium isn’t going to be a cakewalk, don’tcha think?”

That was where studying came in. Before flight training with her Formula Broom, she needed to perform maintenance in the cauldron classroom lined with shop tools. She also needed to learn about the interior structure of the broom, so this killed two birds with one stone for the prep school.

All the students began to work within their teams, filling the room with the buzz of chattering voices.

A surprised voice rang across the entire classroom.

Sadly, it was Yagoro’s dunce focusing on someone in another team altogether.

“Ehh!? D-Dorothea, your Formula Broom can talk!?”

“Eep? Um, yes. M-my Formula Broom – Lyceum can talk. I-I think everyone’s can?”

“I do indeed speak human language. Question: why do you ask, little girl?”

A somewhat awkward but sullen male voice came from Dorothea’s broom. Was it in a bad mood, or was it always like this?

Viocia’s eyes widened and she tapped at the handle of her own Formula Broom. It of course did not respond.

“Uhhh, Mephistopheles…”

She tearfully rubbed her cheek against it, but the broom she had acquired at a concerningly low price still showed no sign of responding. Even though witches who relied too heavily on their tools usually met an unfortunate fate.

Formula Brooms tended to be named after magical locations in the other world called Earth.

Or more accurately, after the people of this world lost their magic, they had used special lights and vibrations to probe different parts of their world to detect alternate terrain on “the other side”. It sounded a lot like nondestructive testing to Yagoro. The distance between this world and Earth could not be measured in meters. There was some uncertainty what exactly “the other side” even meant, but that vagueness had been used to treat it as if it were close by and gather a vast amount of knowledge from it.

So magical knowledge was based on terrain and thus the magical locations of Earth. It may have been a more expansive version of the counseling technique that viewed someone’s miniature garden to assess their psychology. This meant each Formula Broom could access more than just magical knowledge. They could also access people’s “thoughts” and the “atmosphere” of the location itself. However, no one here considered this creepy. The brooms were treasured as the guides who allowed witches to easily search through massive and inscrutable collections of knowledge.

“You’re so lucky, Dorothea.”

“Um, I think yours is more impressive, Viocia. I mean, how do you even, eep, work with a Formula Broom that won’t communicate with you?”

Viocia pouted her lips and booed while poking at the Formula Broom that had its tip held firmly in place by a giant clip attached to a movable arm installed on the work table.

And she spoke a simple phrase.

“Break the seal.”

The broom’s thick handle immediately unraveled.

Like a book’s pages or a scroll, but more accurately like a three blade propeller, it unraveled in a spiraling circle. Each individual page was a map of an area on Earth. Tablets covered in orderly squares of symbols, sigils, and letters were included in places. This was the massive and complex guidepost drawn out by a witch viewing her destination. Since she used the map and not the terrain itself, she could customize it by adding various things to it.

And witches flew through the sky by surpassing the boundaries found on the map.

It was a technique – a miracle – that let them freely and instantly fly across the terrain and borders drawn on the map.

It was the insolence to easily soar over the head of the king who ruled an entire kingdom.

Now, a map of the entire United Kingdom, a map of England, a map of London, and a map of Blythe Road were all treated the same. The scale of the map used had no bearing on the strength or level of the magic. Each map did something different and a witch could not wield all forms of magic by using a full world map. Just like a world map that omitted all the details was no help when treasure hunting in a local field.

(The Flying Scroll, huh?)

Myousou Yagoro wondered just how much of their knowledge and concepts they had imported from Earth. The scary part was how some of it had lost its original meaning, like in a game of telephone.

“Admiration, Antiquity, and Amorality,” continued the gyaru-style prep school instructor named Schanze.

She stepped away from the lectern and slowly walked around each team’s work table.

“A witch’s broom is, like, an invisible whirlpool creating all three of the Three Aspects. That rotational power produces some crazy propulsion that totally harms the world as it pushes the broom forward. So generally speaking, a witch’s broom is constantly moving forward. Making it hover in place or move vertically is totally not possible, so watch out for that.”

“(Trick Question Alert: That’s not quite accurate, don’tcha think? Just because it’s hard doesn’t make it impossible. This could be used as a trap on a practice exam, so be careful, Viocia.)”

“Hweh?”

The dunce’s focus had faded before the trap could even affect her.

It was true a witch’s broom almost always continued forward for stability, just like a paper airplane, but there were some witches who excelled at hovering in place like a helicopter or skimming across the surface like a ground-effect craft. But instead of being seen as a rare skill, they were more seen as acrobats or weirdos.

“Hm, hm♪ Mephistopheles is cool, but I bet it would feel great to fly around on a big dragon or griffin.”

“Yeah, that’s not possible.”

She must not have expected a response. Viocia just about jumped out of her skin and was answered by a wink from Schanze while she checked on each of the teams.

“None of the monsters you see nowadays are natural. They’re totally all Maleficium creations that went wild, which means they were super unfriendly and found a way to run off. There’s no way you could tame one of them☆”

And…

“Huh? Um, th-this is supposed to go…what? Eep.”

Yagoro heard the damp voice of someone on the verge of tears.

It was the glasses zombie girl named Dorothea Rockpool. Unlike Viocia, her broom had a ship’s wheel on the end of the handle. She had gotten Formula Broom – Lyceum’s handle opened like a propeller, but she hadn’t reached the point of tuning her map.

“Aristotle’s philosophy tried to, like, explain all things in the world using only four elements. And that totally led to modern witchcraft and alchemy.”

Schanze spoke smoothly while slowly walking around the cauldron classroom, but that was all she did. She spoke on and on like a record, but she did not give specific advice for individual students (although she would tease the students who had captured her interest). Prep schools were not compulsory education. In the world of the entrance exam, it was assumed the failures simply hadn’t been paying attention.

Yagoro was a tutor. He had only snuck into the prep school to watch over Viocia’s studies.

But.

But.

But.

(Ugh, fine.)

“The Lyceum was a Greek garden surrounded by castle walls. So is your guide Aristotle?”

“Eep! Eh? Eh?”

“But that alone isn’t what matters. A tool is only a tool. Don’t let the name and the reputation trick you. When you focus your mind using a broom, there’s always a risk of getting confused. Witch flight requires focusing on the Three Aspects to ignore time and distance and soar above the terrain. How are you handling the other two Aspects? That is, the textual Admiration and the Amorality that takes advantage of biased assumptions.”

“Um, uh, C-Cinderella and a crop failure curse.”

“So including Aristotle’s four elements, is the central formula you’re using ‘transformation’? And the animal acting as the core linking the Three Aspects would be a rat. Check through the text again and you should figure out what parts need maintenance, don’tcha think?”

“Wow,” she said like she had just opened a present.

She drew out just the right symbol on her map to link everything together, so she must have solved her problem.

“Th-thank you, eep, Mr. Tutor!”

She innocently bowed, but Yagoro wasn’t so sure what to think.

In fact, he was kicking himself for this.

Why would he help out another student? Helping one of Viocia’s rivals get a better score would only reduce his student’s odds of passing!

Today’s Quiz

Back to Prologue

Return to Main Page

Forward to Episode 2