Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume1 Afterword

Please go on, this story is wonderful, i bet you will be a great novelist ^_^

• Thank you for your kind words: they mean a lot to me. Ryuno

  no need to thank me, I only sayd what is the truth for me ^^

My opinion on the novel

First of all, the novel is pretty well written. I would say there are only a handful of properly written novels here on Baka-Tsuki and yours are one of them. I spotted quite a few grammatical errors (and I'm not a native speaker either, so I'm sure I missed most of it) but that is what proofreaders are for. It wouldn't hurt to reword some sentences but it was minor stuff though. (And sorry not for correcting anything, I just find these wiki-pages too annoying to edit...)

It was quite enjoyable to read because it was simply hilarious, for example when he is arguing with a voice inside his head, how he hypothesizes that he is just some random character in a novel, and so on. The random references are also a nice touch.

However, to say it bluntly, the plot was terrible in my opinion. I can see two plots trying to take form, but they are simply lacking story and/or too poorly done.

That being said, the novel still survives on its comedy/parody aspect. Most of the novels here are poorly written but have a decent plot, while I would say yours is the opposite. If you improve the plot I'm sure we will see some amazing works from you in the future. --Spiller 16:50, 21 October 2010 (UTC)

P.S. You really were into metal music. You don't happen to have a guitar/bass-guitar and a telescope?