Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter03 12

6

Broad Bridge is distorted like it has been squeezed by a giant hand. After coming here in the storm with Tohko-san's buggy and arguing with the guard, Shiki shows up from under the bridge with a blood-soaked arm. The guard runs to Shiki but Shiki tackles him and knocks him unconscious.

"Yo. For some reason, I thought you would be here."

Shiki says this with a pale face. There were so many things I wanted to say but it all disappears once I see how weak she is. I run to her to help her, but Shiki refuses and would not even let me support her.

"So you managed with just one arm, huh, Shiki?"

Tohko-san seems surprised. Shiki glares in discontent.

"Tohko, She came up with Clairvoyance in the end. She'll have a ridiculous power if you leave her be."

"Clairvoyance, huh? Certainly, if you add that to her power, she'll be invincible. She would be able to make a fulcrum even if you are hiding... Huh? If you leave her be...?"

"She returned to pain insensitivity at the very end. That's cheating. Asagami Fujino in that state can't be my target. I couldn't do anything else so I just killed the disease in her stomach. She might make it if you hurry."

Shiki did not kill Asagami Fujino. Understanding that, I quickly call the hospital. I'm not sure if they would be willing to come in this storm, but if they won't, I'll just take her myself. Fortunately, her doctor agrees to come. The doctor was worried when Fujino disappeared, and it seemed he was crying over the phone. There may not be many, but Fujino still has people on her side. I am moved. Behind me, those two are having a dangerous conversation.

"Did you stop the bleeding on that arm? It's not bleeding it seems."

"Yeah, I killed it cause it was useless. You can make an arm, right? You're a puppet master after all."

"All right. That will be your pay for this job. I always thought that your body was too normal in contrast to you eyes. I can make that left arm able to grab spirits and such."

... I don't want them talking about such things.

"An ambulance is going to come here. It'll be lots of trouble to stay here, so do you want to get away?"

Tohko-san nods but Shiki is silent. ... She probably wants to make sure that Asagami Fujino does get taken away safely.

"Since I contacted them, I'll stay here. I'll tell you what happened, so you can go back."

"In this strong rain? You sure are strange. All right, let's go back, Shiki."

Shiki refuses Tohko-san's offer. Tohko-san makes a mean smile and gets in her off-road buggy, which seems totally illegal.

"Shiki. Don't kill Kokutoh just because you couldn't kill Asagami Fujino."

Tohko-san says so seriously and drives off. In the summer rain, Shiki and I end up finding shelter under the nearby warehouse.

---

The ambulance comes in no time and carries off Asagami Fujino. In this storm, I cannot see her face. I cannot make sure that she's the girl from that one night, but I think that's for the best. Shiki blankly stares into the night. Shiki stands there wet in the rain. She was glaring at Fujino all this time. I ask her heart within the sound of rain.

"Shiki, you still can't forgive Asagami Fujino?"

"...... I don't care about the one I already killed."

Shiki declares so. There's no hate or anything there. For Shiki, Fujino must be someone she does not know now. ... It's sad but that might be the best for these two. Shiki casts a glance at me.

"How about you? You say murder is wrong no matter what the reason is."

She seems like she's asking herself the question.

"... Yeah, but I sympathize her. To be honest, I could care less about Fujino killing the guys who violated her."

"That's unexpected. I was hoping for your popular opinion."

... Do you want to be blamed, Shiki? But you didn't kill anyone. I close my eyes and listen to the rain.

"Really? But that is my opinion. Because, Shiki, even though she lost herself, Asagami Fujino is a normal girl. She will take in what she's done without changing the facts to suit her. Even if she does give herself up to the police, no one can prove what she's done and she won't be socially responsible for her sins. That's what makes it more difficult."

"Why?"

"...... I think sins are things people willingly burden themselves with. A burden that one casts on themselves according to their views, that is what a sin is. The more compassion you have, the heavier a burden your sin becomes. The more common sense you have, the heavier a burden your sin becomes. Asagami Fujino's sins become heavier and more painful as she gets happier."

Shiki tells me I'm too good-natured.

"Then does that means those without compassion have no sense of what sin is?"

"I don't think anyone exists without a sense of sin. It just means that their sins are light, but it is still there. A small sin within their small compassion. For us it might seem trivial like tripping on a road; but for that person, it becomes a burden. Even the small pain for us becomes an unpleasant feeling for those with small compassion. No matter the weight, the meaning of a sin is the same."

... Yes. For example, Minato Keita was probably frightened to the point of insanity because of his realization of his sins. He cannot atone for his regret, sense of guilt, fear, or impatience; but all he can do is try to atone for them.

"Certainly, it must be easier to not be responsible for your sins socially. But if no one punishes you for your sins, you have to carry your sins yourself. A guilty conscience is not something that goes away, right? You have memories of it. Since no one forgave you for it, you cannot forgive it yourself. The wound in your heart never heals and it will continue hurting. Like her sense of pain remaining, the wound would never heal. As you say, hearts do not have shape...... so I think a wound on it cannot be treated."

Shiki is listening silently. Maybe because I looked up Fujino's past, I'm unusually poetic. Shiki suddenly gets out of the cover of the warehouse and goes out into the rain.

"So you're saying this. The more common sense you have, the more sense of sin you have. That's why there's no bad people in this world. But I have no such thing. Can you let such a person run freely??"

Now that she says so, that is indeed true. Before you can call Shiki good or bad, she has a small sense of common sense.

"I see. Then I guess it can't be helped. I'll have to burden all your sins then."

Those are my true feelings. It seems to have caught Shiki off guard, as she stands there dumbfounded. After getting hit by the rain for a while, Shiki murmurs uncomfortably.

"... I finally remember... You say those kinds of jokes with a straight face. To be honest, Shiki found it hard to deal with such things."

"...... *Sigh* I see. I do think I can at least carry one girl on me, you know."

I argue timidly, and Shiki laughs.

"I'll confess one more thing, I think I burdened a sin with this thing today. But I found out something in return. What my life is, and what I want. It's vague and fragile, but I will have to follow it for now. It turns out that what I'm following isn't as ugly as I thought it was. I'm a bit happy. A bit... A killing impulse that is slightly leaning towards your view..."

... I can only frown at her last sentence, but Shiki is beautiful as she smiles saying so in the rain. The storm should go away by the morning. I keep staring at Shiki, who is in the summer rain. Come to think of it, that is the first true smile she's ever showed me since she recovered from the coma...

Remaining Sense of Pain Fin