Biblia Koshodou no Jiken Techou:Volume 1 Epilogue

Epilogue

I resigned from the <Biblia Koshodou> just like that. After that, I went to the shop only once to take back my remaining salary, but I never met Shinokawa once ever since then.

My mother was most enraged when I went back to being unemployed.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, RESIGNING AFTER WORKING FOR A MONTH!? YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS OF DOING THE JOB. SERIOUSLY, AN UMEMPLOYED PERSON IS WORTH AS MUCH AS AN INSECT HERE, YOU KNOW? THOSE WHO DON’T WORK WON’T GET TO EAT!”

She really looked like she told me off good as much as she wanted, and seemed to feel that she might have said too much once she saw me looking all gloomy. Before she went to work the next day, she left a note for me in the kitchen.

(You earned enough money to eat. Calm down and look for another job.)

I was bothered that she was able to say such legitimate things once in a while.

To be honest, I really could not explain why I resigned from this job. What was it about me not being trusted? The only appraisal I need as a shop attendant is through the salary I earn from my job. Basically, I asked her for a relationship beyond a shopkeeper and a shop attendant. I did not know whether it was because of love. In the end, the relationship of something talking about books and someone listening about books could not be named.

Anyway, I should not have exceeding expectations when dealing with people in my profession, especially those bespectacled beauties that were older. I learnt this lesson by heart as I started attending job seminars.

Anyway, two weeks’ worth of time passed by peacefully. After writing an umpteenth number of resumes and attending briefings, I was finally about to have a final interview at a food company in Saitama. (Maybe things would develop successfully). The moment I thought about that, the phone suddenly rang. Shinokawa's sister called. I hesitantly picked up the phone, and after a simple greeting,

“…How’s the shop doing?”

I asked about what I was most concerned with. There would definitely be major inconveniences when a shop attendant suddenly resigns. However, she said in a pleasant mood,

“We closed the shop for the time being before we get new workers. Ah, you don’t have to worry too much, Goura. It was already hard to open the shop when my sister's not at home.”

Even though she said that, I still could not erase the guilt in me. Either way, the direct reason why the shop was closed was because of my resignation.

“Rather than that, there’s something I want to ask you.”

Suddenly, her voice became serious.

“Did something happen between you and my sister, Goura-san?”

This would be the hardest thing I could answer at this point. I could not explain about what happened during <<The Late Years>>, and I really could not explain about what happened to Shinokawa myself.

“Un, well…erm.”

“What do you mean it’s a little…did you touch those large breasts?”

“HOW CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE!?”

“But Sister's breasts are really big. They’re well shaped too.”

She was obviously teasing me. I was really dumbfounded that it managed to prick my imagination.

“…I’m hanging up.”

“Sorry, please hold on a moment! My sister's appearance had been weird recently.”

“Eh?”

“She’s not reading anymore.”

I was at a loss of words. That person who would bring in lots of books into a bookstore? The person who would lie to everyone around her just to protect a single book? It was really hard to imagine.

“Ever since you resigned, Goura-san, she had been spacing out…she’s finally able to be discharged after waiting for so long, but she’s not energetic at all, so I’m worried. Can’t you visit her, even if it’s just for a little?”

In the end, I did not say whether I would go or not. I just told her that I would consider for a while, and hung up the phone.

During the time after that, I could not get the thought about Shinokawa-san in my mind. I was really concerned that she was not energetic. Was it really because of me? Was that person bothered because of me?

At this point, I had no intention of going to look at her. She clearly stated that she could not rely on me, and I could not talk to her about current affairs. I mean, it would be impossible for me to talk to Shinokawa-san seriously about current affairs—but I was worried that she was not feeling energetic.

And just like that, I ended up caught within the loop of my thoughts, and several days passed before I knew it. I attended the final interview with the food company with Saitama. I felt fine about my performance, but I felt tired out of a sudden when I reached Ofuna.

I walked to the ticket gate of the Ofuna station, walked down the stairs and stepped onto the main road. There was still some heat left over from late summer, and the remaining lights of sunset seemed like they were piercing through my jacket’s sleeves. The real autumn had finally come through.

I walked down the main road and saw the front most white building, the Ofuna General Hospital. The visiting time probably had not ended.

(…Am I going?)

As expected, I am still worried about Shinokawa-san. However, it is too late today. It might be better to go tomorrow. No, since I decided to go today—

“…Erm.”

A soft voice came from a bench on the pedestrian pathway. I took two, three steps forward and looked behind in shock.

A bespectacled long-haired woman was sitting on the bench. She was wearing a bright checkered skirt and a knitted Cardigan. It was the same plain outfit she wore just like the time I met her a few years ago—speaking of which, this was the second time I met her in this outfit beside her pajamas.

“Shinokawa …what are you doing here?”

“I, I got…discharged today…”

She muttered as she used the two crutches to help her stand up. The sturdy crutches were supported by the elbows. I wanted to reach out to help her at that instant, but she shook her head shyly and straightened her waist to stand properly. I heard that she was going to be discharged, but I never expected her to recover so well.

“…I guessed that, you would probably…pass by here.”

I felt my body temperature rise. It seemed that she waited on this bench for me for a long time, and we stood several steps away from each other.

“Congratulations on your discharge.”

I simply said that randomly.

“…Thank you very much.”

She lowered her head as she said that. Both of us remained silent as we did not know how to continue on. Why did she come to see me?

“Did something happen?”

I prompted. She used the crutch in her right hand to support her body, and handed the tote bag on her left side to me.

“…Thi, this.”

“Eh?”

“Please help me take care of this.”

I took it doubtfully and checked the contents of the bag—and widened my eyes. There was a book inside, the “The Late Years” from before. Dazai’s signature was inside the cover, and it looked the real thing no matter what.

“Wh, why, this?”

“We, well, I would like you to…help me keep it, please.”

I really could not understand. Was this not the old book she wanted to keep to her hands even if she had to lie to the people around her? Did she not treasure it more than anything else?

“Erm…I want to try and trust you…I think…”

She squeezed out these words as she blushed—so that was how it was. I understood. She would put the book she treasured most in my hands as proof of her trust in me. In other words, this would be the method of reconciliation she was proposing. Well, it was just like this person to leave a book worth several hundred million Yen to me like that.

I could not help but laugh. In this case, the one who laughs would lose. Well, it was enough to see her have this feeling.

“I don’t want this.”

I put the book back into the bag and hung it on Shinokawa’s hand. Her expression looked somewhat stiff, and I hurriedly said.

“It would be pointless for me to have this when I can’t read, so it’s better to leave it with you, Shinokawa…well; you can say that you don’t want to hold onto it whenever you want to that. Rather than that,”

I straightened my back and faced her.

“Shouldn’t it be about time to fulfill that promise?”

“…Promise.”

She tilted her head doubtfully.

“You said that you would describe the contents of “The Late Years”, didn’t you…did you forget our promise?”

Her face immediately burst into a beaming smile, and she looked like she changed into a completely different person as I could not look away from her.

“Sure. Please sit here.”

She briskly changed her tone and invited me to sit on the bench. Did she want to tell me about this story immediately? I felt that it was kind of weird, but of course, I had no reason to refuse. I kept a little distance from her as I sat down, and the distance just so happened to be the length of that volume of “The Late Years”. However, she closed her distance and leaned over to me slightly.

I could feel her warmth from where we touched, and the left half of my body became stiff. I wondered, what if she said that she hoped for me to return to the shop with her after listening to her story about “The Late Years”? Somehow, it seemed that I could find a steady job.

Anyway, it would be good for now. I should just listen to her story first.

She looked over at me just like this, and suddenly changed her tone as she started talking.

“I think I said it before that the “Late Years’ was an Osamu Dazai’s maiden work published during the 11th year of the Shouwa period. At that time, Dazai was in his twenties, and it was said that he spent 10 years on this work and wrote more than 5,000 pieces of manuscripts. The recorded works were just a small fraction…”