Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume1 Chapter4

Rather than with lateral movement, she seemed more apt with longitudinal one's.

Oh, by 'she' I meant Touwa Erio.

The time was Saturday afternoon — a time filled with laziness. Warm light seeped into the window, endowing the room with serenity and dryness. To escape the sun, I leaned onto the entrance directly opposite of the window, reading the book I bought yesterday. Ryuushi-san recommended it to me after introducing me to the store.

Spending time alone in my own room could almost temporarily erase all the troubles.

Yet something stiflingly hot sat next next to me ruined the moment.

“...Why are you in my room?”

“UweeUwee~” Deciphering her is a pain, so I substituted her lines into a cute phrase.

From what I heard, this thing sleeps at ten everyday and wakes up at six on the second day. Erio's live style is way healthier and more staunch than what it seems – not that it matters, because she looks like that. Still, there are things to learn from her.

“UweeUwee~”

“Oh~ I see. I didn't think it was so profound of a reason.”

Basically, I think she meant “since you're free, and I am too, why not bring me to the beach?” which is why I tried to ignore her, lying down or facing away from the source of the noise.

I don't want to waste my precious weekend on the water that does not pay off the energy it takes to get there. Some energy is only restored and accrued through alone times. If I were to go out, I'd rather it be like a date with Ryuushi-san.

Because Erio permeates the signs of stagnation. In that futon, she looks like the fairy of NEET. Even if the content is beautiful, it is still on the same level as the hands of those who refuse to do works or chores.

“…...” I peeked at her face – hm, I don't even know where it was!

On that note, she's also been purposefully moving next to me since earlier.

Maybe she was looking down at her feet to follow my movement, like a dot on the x and y axis. It's like the table football me and my friends were obsessed with back home – she shuffled about like the hand bars on to the table. The thought of using her as a pillow after tripping her sprouted. My chance of winning at this table football game, though, dropped to the third of a thousand.

“Huu~Hah~Huu~Hah~” The thigh-and-futon in front of me changed her breathing sound.

If she degrades any further, would she turn into a water flea?

Her choices for giving up her human status would fall into the top five most primitive animals.

This girl wasn't oppressive, but the pressure was pretty strong, affecting even my breath.

“...Stop trying to brainwash me. My country-bred brain can't decipher your noises!”

Shoo! I nodged her back with the back of my hand.

But if you earnestly used your look to your advantage, I wouldn't be so sure… How helpless of me.

“Dammit, go away. Why don't you read some books too?”

“Hah~Huu~Hah~Huu~”

After calming down, she flipped onto her stomach. This preposterous entity does exists on Earth. Go back to your planet, dammit.

We lied on the floor, and read the novel together. I wish it was that simple.

“Uu~Ee~Wu~Ee~” My neighbor swung her feet, protesting her treatment.

“Hah? The room is too dark for reading? Isn't x-ray vision easy for a 'super?'

Or rather, you should just write the contents too and submit it when you're done.

A certain Light Novel and Illustration contest is looking for people too… wait, what was that? (TL notes: Pretty sure he's talking about Dengeki Novel Taisho, which this book was probably submitted to as well)

Is this what they meant by that “He that lieth down with dog” thing? I have only known Erio for two weeks, yet my brain is corrupting at a surprising speed. If this goes on, the worst case scenario would be the birth of the combination of my body and Erio's brain. I need to at least resist… But do I? Maybe the order would be reversed, resulting in the combination of my brain and the futon. I don't want to give up on being a human. You could try to entice me by saying “you could spend a whole day in a futon with Erio~” but the only thing affected would be my heartbeat.

Two rings of doorbell came downstairs, from the window's direction, notifying us of a visitor. From the timing and her action prior, I predicted the visitor's identity.

“Alright, the cheese disk from space is here. Go get it… Well, not like I'll let you.”

And that's the gist of it. Setting the usual aside, I do try to maintain the Touwa family's reputation, as a guest should. …I may or may not have thought this when I brought Erio to the entrance.

As a side note, the house owner Meme-san left a “I'm going to work. Even though its the weekend… No day off...” complaint full of curses and went out early this morning. She mumbled about at least hoping to be lucky today, dashed out on the bicycle with – intentionally — a piece of toast in her mouth. “Ah, she snapped already.” I saw my aunt away with the new understanding.

I paid the haunch-backed deliveryman, and received the pizza. He was different than the usual chill guy, obviously wary toward Erio. Maybe the usual guy just turns a blind eye, so he acts friendlier. Just as I re-realized the peculiarity of the object next to me, the sound 'woosh!' came where my hands were (Erio stole the pizza).

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter… She darted into the kitchen in scattered steps. If she falls down now, it'd look like the colored version of the pied face. I thought as I slowly followed her.

I entered and sat at my spot in the kitchen, pouring two people's worth of tea.

Next, the routine feeding.

Erio ripped off half the pizza, aimed and tossed it.

Shew~ The pizza dance in the sky.

“Shew~” Like catching a bouquet, I intercepted the food midair. Greasy. Splash! My finger-orchestra played a realistic soprano. The image of a piano played in the middle of a silent classroom emerged – a highly self-conscious sentiment.

I hurriedly caught the parts that were falling off where I grabbed the pizza. The original target, Erio, opened her mouth upward like a nestling. As if trying to grasp the situation, she wriggled in the futon, waiting for her evil mother to drop the food.

“Take it off.”

If it was her, I could easily spit out words that would lead me to being sued by normal girls.

This must be what they call trust, right? Am I right, or am I right, dear fictional readers?

“For once, why don't you eat normally? I don't want to eat with you if you're going to be that.”

Even though I didn't want to eat with her, I don't mean I didn't want to eat with her. The ambivalent motivation sawed the mass of my stomach back and forth.

“WueeHuu~” Erio appeared to be complaining. She flapped her legs under the table, probably angered by the denial of her sustenance. I kept thinking about throwing a Frisbee inside instead of a pizza.

“I'm gonna take off the futon!”

I loosened the cheep D.I.Y seal, letting the house air pollute Touwa Erio.

Hearing my declaration, she attempted an escape; I caught her with my leg. “UwahUwah~” A mysterious constraint threw Erio into a disarray. I ignored her reaction, dismantling the clothe line and forcing the innards out into the sun.

“Wow. Nice to see ya.” The particles weren't flying today, obediently covering her hair.

Erio smacked my hand and the futon away, shutting her eyes, as if saying “accursed Earthling!”

How do I put it — only her eyes moved, giving the impression that her face lacked exercises.

'You think that's enough to stop me?' She stiffened her torso and pierced me with eyes shining with pride.

Erio grabbed the pizza.

Like doing origami, she folded the pizza in half, swept the topping off and ate them. Finally, she stuffed the folded bread in her mouth and began the futon-wrapping process.

“…...” Flaunting at me like that, are you a kid?

“UweeUwee~” Between the futon and the sound of chewing, Erio meant “tie it for me!”

I unfolded my fingers, contemplating on strangling her as well.

I filled my stomach with the other half of the pizza and went back to my room.

Erio followed. Now I have a padding in case I fall, how reassuring… I may or may not have thought that.

So why does she stick with me? She must be seeing me as a comrade — what a pain!

We sat against the room's desk and listened to some music.

Erio snatched one of my earbuds away, rustling it under the futon and listened in. I hope Earth music is to your taste.

“…...”

Snuggled next to a girl and sharing earbuds.

...Wait, what? This was supposed to be an enviable situation, yet my Youth-point calculator didn't move — there wasn't even light hitting the solar cell.

Mm, indeed I didn't see the neighboring object wrapped in globe pattern futon as a girl. But I did the sandwich Maekawa-san — why?!

Taking advantage of the confusion, my Karaoke solo begun:

“Go back to your planet, alien.”

These lines were harsh, but not exactly spiteful. I evaluated calmly, swallowing the bitterness, and spoke.

“The universe is huge, so stop staying over at earth. The other galaxies are yours, so get a move on. Don't be like one of those mistakenly friendly people who stay over to eat dinner!”

“…UweeUwee~” They didn't pick you up? Were you bullied?

Not just on the earth, but also in the galaxy. It's big, sure, but that's still pretty empty.

Are you one of those people who panic when they hear P.E teacher yell 'pick your partner?'

I guess alien relationship is complicated too.

“Do aliens need oxygen to survive?”

“UweeUwee~” Hmph, how dull.

“Why do aliens like earth?”

“UuhoUuho~” Oh~ then go somewhere with better women!

“Do aliens… like pizza?”

“UweeUwee~” That's all they eat… If a pizza shop sets up on moon, it'd be pretty popular.

Ugh—

She seriously annoys me.

Because her wheels just don't spin.

So why, then, am I with her?

Under the spring sun, the question and sentiment spread in my mind.

A lot happened in the two weeks passed since I moved here.

My books got here, and I don't get lost in school anymore.

I also made a few guy friends, whose primary reason of associating with me seemed to be Ryuushi-san.

“Why are you suddenly buddies?”

I don't know.

“What, did you know each other before?”

I don't know.

“What's your name, by the way?”

Leave me alone. Above were all my real thoughts, but my literal responses were slightly retouched. Below are some examples —

Q: Why are (skip)? A: “Cuz I lost to her during a race, now she's onto me.”

Q: What, did (skip)? A: “If we've never met in the previous life, then no.”

Q: What's your name again? A: “Leave me alone.”

I tried thinking seriously.

I'm not a transfer student anymore, neither am I special.

Maybe because of that, Ryuushi-san talks to me every chance she gets, probably to prevent my fate of becoming the shunned student A in class. In this time and age, rather than saying her kindness is wasted in the city, it's more like you can't get it anywhere but the paradise!

One of the three dudes asked me after hearing my explanation:

“Why do you get special treatments?”

I didn't know, so I asked.

“Hmmm, I like the background class-rep character, y'know? The type people trust base on her abilities instead of title: someone who doesn't stumble easy. So I decided to win you over first! By the way, I was the head of lunch back in elementary school!” (TL Notes: In Asian schools, each class eats lunch in their own class rooms. Students usually line up outside to get their lunch, and a few will be sort of the people who make sure the process is finished properly. It's been too long, so I don't remember exactly what they do)

“…Something like that.”

“Why you?”

Give me a break! The eternal loop of Ryuushi-san Q&A began again, so I changed topic into “how much older can your lover be?” One of them said “Up to forty is fine.” Such desperate response made me really want to introduce a person to him.

After the seat change (completely done with drawing lot), I made a few guy friends. The price was the lost of Maekawa-san, who was now three or four seats away from me, and the opportunity to talk with her in class.

Ryuushi-san also moved to the seat close to the entrance window, which was the farthest possible distance from me. But she always swings by my seat to eat with me during lunch.

Setting our relationship aside, the curious glances from everyone else was getting sharper.

The gentle Ryuushi-san sang “an unbalanced diet is an unbalanced heart” — a tune like a certain grade school's slogan — while giving the mushrooms in her bento to me, who always had simple bread. Is her sharing of food with the publicly vegetable-liking yet secretly shroom-hating me the manifestation of her naivete? If it was the result of careful calculation, I might be gnawed to the bones and thrown away.

...Like so, my school life is generally good. Figuratively speaking, it would be the front wheel of a bicycle.

The family, which represented the rear wheel, would be the problem.

I was forced to accompany Erio to the faraway beach at night.

“Ugh, what a pain. I have to study.” After my decline, the futon-girl would shadow me everywhere, groaning about how important her tasks were. She would even arbitrarily come into my room to watch TV. “Beep~Beep~Tss~Tss~” was the sound of her cosmic exchange. She's pretty much a new breed of monster. I beg you to migrate to that world where nothing is impossible.

Sometimes I give in to her persistence and go out with her, surprising even myself.

Why?

Honestly, some parts of Erio vexed me to no end.

But I still served as her driver every three days.

And Erio would walk to the beach during daytime for the other two days.

Toward the sea where she floated without memory.

In a way, her consistency and perseverance impress me.

“Would your memory come back in a bottle if you come here? This isn't exactly like how the culprit would come back to his crime scene, right?”

I sat on a terribly corroded bench that was away from the waves and inquired the stalled mattress. She didn't answer or look back.

Recently, when we come here, Erio only looks out from the futon as if peeking at something.

Slightly sticky wind blew every now and then, lifting Erio's exposed hair and stealing the particles. But it would immediately starts emitting rays again — from just the neck up, she really is pretty.

What a waste. The thought appeared as I stared at the back of her head.

Maybe I'll think differently if I look at her side face! I couldn't openly stare though, because it's embarrassing.

“But… it really is quiet!”

I checked last time, kind of hoping to see delinquents or biker gang occupying the place, but I saw neither cherry blossom or grass that should be growing during spring, nor people who came to do some early sea-dipping. Sigh, motorcycles rust around water, so I doubt anyone would.

I took off my sandals and followed the beach line to Erio. Ah~ I'm already used to the shuffle of sand. Human nature is truly depressing, always casually devouring the food of life and making a mess.

As for Youth-points, it counted during the first time, but not anymore since it became a weekly routine.

“Oi, space girl, can you hear me?”

“Speak, Earth ape.”

A venomous riposte, simply with 'Earth' added in. There are aliens apes, too?… Oh, there are!

But that's a movie. (TL Notes: Planet of the Apes)

“Why are you still here, if you're an alien?”

Back to your home world. I think like this because I'm a xenophobic Japanese.

“Don't tell me you're the vanguard of an alien invasion force that fell from a ship.”

“How did you know?”

Didn't know she could improvise a shocked expression, not that I care. Oh well.

If her delusion is for the protection of the subconscious memory, then oh-well.

“Also, your mom totally looks Japanese! Where were you born in space?”

“It is inexpressible in Earth tongue. Based on my judgment, the cousin's score in the Earth's world language, English, is below the decimal points, rendering it impossible for you to comprehend.”

“Hey, that's too far!” You're overestimating my grade way too much.

Cough, cough!

She created a barrier made of linguistic energy. Is it really that scary to lose all your memory?

...Perhaps it is.

It is essentially death.

Sometime I see the transformed Maekawa-san of the night. Our habits seem to have significant overlapping.

“Maekawa-san, what do you think of aliens?”

I sat on the swing of the kid's park (where me and Erio ate dinner), curious of the girl who was energetically carrying out the pendulum motion next to me.

After bumping into Maekawa-san, Erio would always walk home.

By the way, Maekawa-san was wearing a convenient store's uniform; the ones with green and white stripes.

We had a lot of those stores back home, but I have yet to see one here: the company probably hasn't expended here.

“Aliens… Have you been infected by Touwa, transfer student?”

She sought the pleasure of fast swings, despite having to bend her knees.

Initially, Maekawa-san swung with straightened back. Her head ram right onto the metal bar above, making her writhe painfully in the muddy ground for five minutes. “Ack…”

Her store uniform now looked like a baseball player's after sliding in mud.

“No, I'm just curious. You don't have to be serious, but what do you think of them?”

“Hm, well… I suppose they're not too different from religions. Some believe in them, some make money off of them, but I feel like people seek spiritual comfort from both.”

“Huh… I see.”

“Besides Touwa, do you have other reason for asking this?”

“There is. I want to use it as a reference as to how I should think and do.”

Since ignoring our Touwa-san is not good for my health. Strange, though. I actually wanted to get closer to Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san, but why am I wasting time with Erio at the beach? Ever since moving here, I haven't gotten my Youth-points to positive. I thought I actually wanted to spend more time with people who isn't Erio.

“Oh yea. Wanna dress up with me, if you're free tomorrow?”

“At least think of something I would want to do!”

“Hahah, whatever animal you want, I have all~ of them!'

“Chupacabra.” (TL Notes: El Chupacabra, the purported blood-sucking animal of South America)

“Alright! Let's go drink some blood! Our targets will be couples!”

“You have it?!”

It's not B.S? Someone found the real deal?!

“Sigh, I can't go even if you have it. I got things tomorrow.”

“Things? Someone who looks as free as you? What could it be?”

“Things.”

Maekawa-san smacked me with the arm of a Gibbons. Her arms went up at full speed and fell on me.

No, if you keep this up…

“Ahh~” After three strikes, Maekawa-san faltered.

“U~wahh~ The blood~ The blood is rushing into my heading~”

She kneeled down in a daze. The swing swished by in a pendulum motion, grazed her back…

“...Ah.” What do you call this awkward feeling?

The almost palpable 'pain' appeared before my eyes.