Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume34 Chapter4

Picking up a Handkerchief

Everything I see is irritating.

The blue sky, the vivid green leaves, and the surface of the pond sparkling in the sunlight.

Even the sounds I hear irritate me.

The chirps of birds, the laughter of children, the two o’clock alarm of a passerby’s watch.

I hate everything.

Kumi sat alone on a park bench with her head bowed and her brow furrowed.

If you let your guard down, one day you will be tripped up. Even if it is through no fault of your own, one day a stranger will snap your legs in half. What? To use an analogy, it would be like the tip of a morning glory vine that only has four or five leaves still remaining.

Still, I didn’t really mind the pleats of the pleated skirt of my uniform that I could see. They were a greenish black. Maybe it was because it’s a calm color. Had it been a light blue with a flare, it may have been different. I don’t know if a school with a uniform like that exists though.

When I looked at the black pleats, my eyes naturally fell onto the tie around the collar. Until recently, I had always wanted to wear the thick ivory tie.

The ties I wore in middle school were thin black ribbons, so I wanted to wear my own tie as soon as possible and walk around. The ginkgo tree lined path from the school gates. The bustling street corner outside the school. — For the students of middle school and below, Lillian Girls’ Academy’s high school seemed like a dreamland.

(However)

What was it like being a high school student? What awaited me was an everyday life not so different from that of a middle school student.

The uniform is different from the middle school one. The school building is different. There are also students from other schools, so the classmates are a little different. But what did it mean? It’s not like your classmates would suddenly become wonderful people the moment you enter high school, as if by a spell.

So it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that there are classmates who hide their manga in their textbooks during class, but then ask, “could you lend me your notebook?” during the break, or who are always five minutes late for cleaning. Surely, it’s the serious people who are the stupid ones here.

The same goes for the upperclassmen. It’s wrong to have high hopes for them. There’s no way you can become a proper senior just because you were born a year or two earlier. Just try imagining what you and your classmates would be like in a year or two. The answer will be as clear as the fact that you shouldn’t pinch and pull a hangnail on your finger.

The student council presidents, called roses, and their little sisters, called boutons, whom I met at the new student welcoming ceremony, were certainly attractive people, but in the end they are just people living in the clouds. There is no chance of becoming friends with such people, let alone become sœur with them.

(Maybe I could do it in a club?)

Then I could have some interactions with the older students. Maybe I could meet the older girls. But there wasn’t anything I wanted to do. And I wasn’t sure if participating in a club would make me even more distrustful of people.

Sitting on a bench by the pond, Kumi was thinking.

Why am I here? If I don’t like what’s here, I should just go home.

Still, I wasn’t feeling so bad that morning. May is my favorite month, with its mild weather, and I was able to wake up feeling refreshed. It was Saturday, so classes finished before noon. I went to school with a simple plan: after returning home, I would laze around watching TV, undisturbed by anyone since my mother wouldn’t have come home from her part-time job yet, and eat a sandwich from the local bakery.

Even in class, I wasn’t doing so bad. In math, which I’m not good at, I wasn’t called on even though it was my day to go, and in English, because I studied the vocabulary carefully, not only my pronunciation, but also my translation was praised by the teacher.

So, what was making me feel so irritated? It had to do with a trivial incident that happened on my way home from school.

At that time, Kumi was walking along a narrow path next to the middle and high school library when her eye was caught by the leaves of a shrub planted like a hedge on the side of the path.

I didn’t know much about plants, so I couldn’t tell what kind of tree it was. But the yellow-green leaves were so fresh and shiny that I couldn’t help but get a closer look.

Looking closely, I saw a red ladybug crawling on the branch. Ladybugs love the sun and fly higher and higher towards the heavens, so I thought I’d watch it until it reached the end of the branch and flapped its wings.

I wonder how long I was watching. It was around the time the school ended, so several students passed by me, but no one asked me, “What are you doing?”

Just a little more. I was cheering the ladybug on in my heart.

“You’re in the way”.

Then, Kumi felt a heavy push from behind. As she fell, many of the twigs of the tree snapped. The trunk of the shrub was not that thick, and it would be impossible for it to support the weight of a high school freshman girl. Kumi put both hands on the soil of the plant.

What on earth had just happened? Not understanding what was going on, I stood up and turned around, and at the end of the road stood a senior student I didn’t know. There was no one else in sight. Given the situation, the only conclusion was that this student had pushed Kumi.

She was standing on the side of the road, peering through the hedge. Even if I was in the way, couldn’t she have said something?

“What’s with those eyes? It was your fault for standing in the middle of the road, was it not?”

Perhaps because Kumi’s fall was bigger than anticipated, the senior student spat those words out with an embarrassed look and quickly walked away. The ladybug had also disappeared without a trace.

“So, what should I do now that I’m left alone?”

Kumi muttered as she wiped the dirt off her hands. Looking at her right palm, she saw blood oozing from a wound that was made by a branch.

I could have gone back to school and gotten treatment at the nurse’s office, but I didn’t want Eiko-sensei to ask, “What happened?”, so I just went home.

The senior student was not at the bus stop. She may have walked from school, or she may have taken a different bus that had arrived earlier. There was no time, so I covered the palm of my right hand with a handkerchief and held onto the handrail. I only had one handkerchief, but my sore left hand wasn’t bleeding, so the handle of my school bag was only soiled with dirt.

I got off the bus at the M station, changed to the train, and got off at the nearest station. At first it was just a tingling sensation, but then my palm started to throb and hurt.

That’s why I decided to stop by the neighborhood park that I usually pass by. Even though my house was just around the corner, I still felt reluctant to go home with my hands covered in blood and dirt. It was the same whether my mother was out or not.

I washed my hands at the drinking fountain and found that the wounds were not so serious. I dipped my dirty handkerchief in water, wrung it out with just the fingertips of my left and right hands, then sat down on a bench.

When I took a breather, anger welled up inside me.

Why must I have to go through this?

What on earth did I do to deserve this?

Ah, that’s right. The town is peaceful as always today. The sun, the green leaves, and the little birds are all laughing carefree.

Hearing the cry of a small child, “Kya!”, Kumi instinctively looked up.

Looking closer, I saw a group of about ten elementary school students forming a circle on the grass a short distance away. Two girls were playing tag around the perimeter. Judging from the fact that the one chasing was clutching a fluttering cloth, I could deduce that-

(Handkerchief drop, was it?)

Well, what a retro pastime. However, Kumi, who knew about it, was also once introduced to this retro pastime.

The neighborhood association around here has been working on “raising children who are healthy in body and mind” for a few years now, and adults encourage children to play outside. So even though they are all lumped together as elementary school students, there’s a wide variety of ages, from big to small. Before taking the middle school entrance exam, Kumi was often taken to this park by her active classmates.

(What’s so fun about that game?)

Thinking that, I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

While walking outside the circle, the demon gently drops a handkerchief behind a person sitting calmly. That handkerchief is an unclean object. So the person who finds it behind them hurriedly stands up and tries to return it to the person who dropped it. However, the person who dropped it pretends not to notice and fits easily into the space that was enough to fit one person. They are now no longer a demon. At this point there is no other way. The new demon thinks. They have to force this handkerchief onto someone.

Oh, it’s a nasty game, isn’t it?

While thinking about this, I remembered the senior student again. That person was probably walking with a dirty handkerchief in her hand. She was walking like that. At that moment Kumi happened to be in front of her, so she probably just pushed the dirty handkerchief onto her and ran away. But what should Kumi do after receiving it? Is it enough to just find another person and push this “displeasure” onto them?

There were a lot of little girls in front of me. The kind that would burst into tears if I nudged them just a little.

(…………)

Terrified, I looked away. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. What was I thinking? I quickly looked at the folds of my skirt to calm myself down. At that moment, I saw a line of ants through my skirt.

The ants simply moved forward, following the one in front of them.

As I watched, I started to feel annoyed and thought, “What, they’re really working hard, aren’t they”.

Kumi adjusted her position and raised one leg. She then placed it directly above the line of ants.

If I put my foot down with all my might, would some of the ants die? Would the ants behind the foot, who had avoided a direct hit, panic and not know what had happened? Would seeing that make me feel a little better? Or would it make me feel even worse?

Kumi had one leg raised, not knowing what to do. Someone stop her. She didn’t really want to do this.

At that moment a sudden gust of wind blew past her.

Kumi kept her foot raised and held her hands in front of her face. Her eyes weren’t that big, but if any dust got in them it would still hurt.

It was may, so it wouldn’t be the first storm of spring, but the wind was so strong, that it almost made me think that it was.

“Thank you”.

Hearing the voice, Kumi relaxed the muscles in her face, not understanding what it meant. Then, she heard the same voice shout out again.

“Ah, no! Don’t bring the foot down!”

“Eh?”

The foot? Thinking this, Kumi looked down at her feet and noticed something lying just below her raised right foot.

It was a handkerchief.

It must have been brought here by the wind earlier. The soles of her shoes were just about touching the ground.

She was about to step on an ant, but had no intention of stepping on someone’s handkerchief. So, after landing on the ground where there were no ants or handkerchiefs, Kumi picked up the handkerchief and lightly patted it with her hand.

There was some dirt and ants stuck to it.

“Thank you”.

The girl who accepted the handkerchief with a smile was wearing the same uniform as Kumi. Judging by the texture of the fabric, it didn’t look like she was a first-year.

“There is no need to say thank you twice”.

Kumi said bluntly, not remembering doing anything that kind to her.

“Ooh, the first one was a thank you for not stepping on it. The second one was a thank you for picking it up”.

“Is, is that so?”

I understood thanking me for picking it up, but it felt strange being thanked for not stepping on it.

“Is that weird?”

Reading Kumi’s expression, the girl tilted her head. But then she smiled and nodded with a “yes”, as if she understood something.

“If you think it’s too much, just give the change to someone else”.

Saying that, she turned right and ran off.

“It’s all good, it didn’t fall into the pond”.

She was running towards the circle of children, waving her handkerchief. She wasn’t particularly beautiful, but she had an indescribable charm.

She gave the handkerchief to one of the kids, then for some reason came back to the bench.

“That wasn’t your handkerchief?”

“Ah, no”.

As she said this, she sat down next to Kumi as if it was the most natural thing to do, and removed the thick, black rubber band that had tied her hair up.

Watching her hair, a little longer than semi-long, bounce and fall onto her shoulders, Kumi thought to herself how pretty she was. Until just now she had thought of refreshing things as her enemies. Yet the sound of hair brushing against hair was actually quite pleasant.

“While I was waiting for someone, I was just watching them casually, but I got nostalgic and joined them in play. But I can’t compete with the agility of elementary school students. I’m in my uniform, so I’m giving up”.

“…………”

Kumi couldn’t remember if there were any high school students among the children playing handkerchief drop. But, since that’s what she said, there must have been. Kumi wasn’t really paying that much attention to it either.

“So? What about you?”

When she asked me with a friendly smile, I was at a loss for words.

“I—”

She was irritated after a stranger from school lashed out at her, so she wanted to vent her frustrations by stepping on an ant or something. But there was no way Kumi could say that, so she just answered, “I just kind of felt that way”.

“Kind of felt that way? Well, there are days like that”.

It’s just a vague response. But when you hear it, it’s strangely persuasive, and you’re convinced that this person may have come to the park in the past for no particular reason.

After that some time passed without word, so Kumi spoke up to start a conversation.

“The person you’re waiting for hasn’t come yet, huh”.

Even though I said that, I didn’t mind if we just stayed on the bench for an hour or two.

“Yeah. It’s okay. We don’t have an appointment”.

“Eh?”

Didn’t she say earlier that she was waiting for someone? But she doesn’t have an appointment---.

“We haven’t made any promises. I just have a vague feeling that we’ll meet again someday. On days like this I have a premonition”.

Apparently, she didn’t even know the name. Is it really possible to meet such a person based on premonition alone? The person in question then said, “Oh, well”, as if making an excuse for herself. She may have sensed Kumi’s suspicious gaze.

“Because I am keeping something”.

“You’re keeping something?”

“Or rather, it’s a lost item? I could take it to the police station, but since I remember the owner’s face, I think it’s more likely to be returned to them if I keep it, right?”

Oh, that’s interesting. Kumi thought. When the girl smiled, something reached into her heart. I’m not the one who lost the item, so what on earth did I receive?

The feeling that flowed into my heart was so warm. It was strange. Not only had the irritation I had felt a moment ago disappear, but I was actually feeling happy.

From just a few words exchanged?

From just one smile?

The children were having fun playing handkerchief drop.

For some reason, the handkerchief no longer seemed unclean to Kumi.

It’s a share of the “good feeling”. That’s why the kids look so happy.

“It’s about time to go home”, the girl said, standing up.

“Ah”.

Kumi couldn’t bear to say goodbye, so she called out to her. She turned around and smiled.

“See you again someday”.

“Yeah”.

And so, Kumi smiled back.

That’s right. Two people clad in the same uniform will surely meet again.

One day—. Kumi believed so.

As I watched the girl leave, waving goodbye to the kids playing handkerchief drop, I happened to look at the bench and noticed a neatly folded white lace handkerchief.

I ran after her in a hurry, but there was no sign of anyone outside the park.

I looked at the clock and it was 3:00 p.m. My mom would be back from work at 4:00 p.m. so I decided to buy some sandwiches from a local bakery and eat them together.

Kumi walked with a light step.

I can’t live like this.

Someday, that might come soon.

I want to be a better person when I meet her. I don’t have the high expectations of becoming sœur, but I want to be an acquaintance and not feel intimidated.

How can I get closer to that person? The answer came naturally. That is, I just needed to live my life with the image of the person I want to be in mind.

When I felt like I was about to get irritated, I wondered what that person would do and what they would think.

“That’s a problem, huh”.

“I wonder why?”

With that, I try to laugh a little. Then, strangely enough, my anger would sometimes go away. Of course, that doesn’t happen all the time.

Thinking back, I have always wanted a lot without doing anything.

A wonderful everyday life, respectable teachers, kind seniors, loyal friends.

If you change your perspective, things become completely different.

The nagging teacher may be a teacher who is sympathetic and wants to teach students.

A bossy senior may just be trying to teach you about the strictness of hierarchical relationships.

Classmates who only care about test results are ambitious.

What if you meet someone on whom you can’t put a positive spin no matter how hard you try? Then you can learn from them. In order for the world to be filled with wonderful people, you have to be wonderful yourself first.

I tell myself to just keep smiling. Even if it doesn’t work at first, one day I might be able to smile like that person and make everyone around me happy.

“Kumi-san”.

On Saturday after school, as I was getting ready to go home after cleaning the classroom, a classmate came up to me and said, “Um, you see…”.

“Apparently, a friend of my onee-sama thinks that Kumi-san is quite nice”.

“Eh?”

A friend of Shigemi-san’s onee-sama said that she thinks my self is “quite nice” —?

“In other words”.

“Ah, is it about becoming sœur?”

“That’s right. As expected of Kumi-san, you’re quick on the uptake”.

Apparently, when Shigemi-san and Kumi were walking down the hallway to change classrooms or something, they happened to pass by the person in question, who was also walking down the hallway with Shigemi-san’s onee-sama, and when they exchanged greetings with Kumi, she took a liking to her. I’m sorry, but I don’t remember that at all.

“Hm. So, your onee-sama”.

Honestly, it felt a bit late now. I was already in my second month of my second year.

“But what was good about me?”

I simply wondered if it were possible to wish for a student, who was merely passing by, to be one’s little sister.

“She had a nice smile. When I heard that Kumi-san didn’t have an one-sama, I wondered how she was such a nice girl”.

“Oh dear”.

That’s a nice thing to say, but it’s a bit of an exaggeration.

“You can try talking to her, she is a decent girl. She said she thought it would be shocking if she suddenly asked you out, so she let me through first”.

“That’s right”.

Kumi nodded. She was probably a serious and decent person. That was also apparent from what Shigemi-san had said about their meeting.

“Um. You don’t have to make a decision right away. Just take the weekend to think about it. And you can try meeting her and refusing in person, I guess”.

“Judging by the way you’re talking so quickly, Shigemi-san, I’m sure you thought I was going to refuse right away”.

I glared at her mischievously, and Shigemi-san shrugged her head like a scolded puppy.

“I mean, Kumi-san, you were looking for someone when you were a first-year, weren’t you? Maybe you’re still thinking about that person?...... Sorry”.

“It’s fine”.

Kumi laughed. In the end, she couldn’t find that person after a whole year. If she had been a third-year, she would have graduated that spring and would no longer be in the high school division.

“Well, can you think about it?”

“Of course”.

“Thank you, Kumi-san. Now I can rest easy. Thank you, thank you, I love you”.

Shigemi-san only received the reply that she would think about it, and even though she hasn’t actually accepted the proposal yet, Shigemi-san skipped out of the classroom. She was probably going to go tell her onee-sama about it.

Oh dear. With a small chuckle, Kumi also left the classroom.

As I was walking down the hallway, I noticed a red ladybug stuck to the side of the window plane.

“Come on now”.

As she spoke, she brought the second joint of her left index finger closer and gently held it there. A freshman walking nearby looked at her curiously, so, opening the window, she called out, “Come here”.

If you put your hand outside and hold up your finger straight up, the ladybug will climb up it. When it reaches the tip of your finger, it will spread its wings and fly away.

“Wah”.

“Ladybugs like high places”.

When I looked at those sparkling eyes looking at the sky, I felt happy too.

The blue sky, the vivid green leaves, and the surface of the pond sparkling in the sunlight. The only sounds reaching my ears were the chirping of the birds and the laughter of children.

It was definitely a day like this.

Kumi narrowed her eyes as she sat on a park bench. It was a year ago that she met that person.

It felt like it was yesterday, or like it was a decade ago.

But it’s been a year. My short hair has grown to just past my shoulders.

Sometimes I think back and wonder if it was real.

I hadn’t seen that person in Lillian’s uniform in school for the past year. I had gone to the park a few times hoping to see her, but it was the same.

However.

Kumi reached into her pocket and pulled something out.

The handkerchief she left behind tells me it wasn’t a dream.

Kumi may have come to the park today under the pretext of returning this. She wanted to see that person again.

(Handkerchief drop, was it?)

Saturday afternoon. About ten elementary school students had gathered after lunch. They were playing in a circle on the lawn.

They looked like they were having so much fun, so I got up from the bench and ran over to them, saying, “Let the onee-san join in”.

Everyone was dumbfounded for a moment, as they didn’t expect to play together with a high school student. However.

“Okay. But onee-san is the demon”.

An older girl greeted me with a smile and handed me a floral handkerchief.

“Thank you”.

If we’re playing, I have to be serious. Kumi tied her hair in a ponytail with a rubber band.

She walked around the outside of the circle and dropped the handkerchief behind one of the girls. She was immediately noticed and chased, but managed to slip into the vacant space just in time.

Maybe it was fun to bother the older newcomer, as Kumi would be dropped the handkerchief about once every three times, and every time she would run as fast as she could, so she was completely exhausted. But the sweat felt good.

Then, a burst of wind blew past.

The wind was so strong that it blew away the handkerchief that had fallen on the grass.

Kumi, who had been the demon just before, hurriedly chased after the handkerchief. If it fell to the pond, it would be a disaster.

Fortunately, that worry did not come to fruition. The handkerchief flew off in a slightly different direction and towards the bench.

On that bench a girl clad in the uniform of the Lillian Girls’ Academy’s high school.

“Thank you”.

Kumi called out as she ran.

The girl looked at me suspiciously, her brow furrowed like mine was a year ago.

As she received the flower-patterned handkerchief, Kumi said again,

“Thank you”.

Could it be.

I had a hunch.

Maybe the white handkerchief from my pocket will end up in this kid’s hand.

Return to Main Page

Back to Little Horrors II

Forward to Little Horrors III