Kämpfer:Volume 2 Chapter 4

Part 1: The Morning Stakeout

The next morning was also beautiful. I wonder who said the weather is like a mirror, reflecting a person's inner state? It's a complete lie. How could my mood possibly match this sunny weather?

Listening to Kondou Mikoto, the one who gathered early was Akane. Finally, all the members were together before school started. Even earlier than Akane was the person in question, Kondou Mikoto. She ran up to me and roared furiously, her voice louder than a heavy metal band's. If I hadn't had breakfast, I'd have been furious and yelled at her to get out.

"Little Akane is here too! Thank you so much!"

Kondou Mikoto stood at the entrance, her arms folded, as if she were the master of the house.

"Then let's go to school! Let's go!"

What's the point of going? It was just a normal trip to school, just with a few more people than usual.

I asked Kondou Mikoto on the way.

"Hey, where are we going and what are we doing?"

"The girls' school gate. I want to start monitoring the female version of Natsuru from this morning."

"That's going to be a long wait. What if she doesn't show up?"

"Then we can monitor her tomorrow and the day after tomorrow."

"That's not good. What about classes?"

"It's okay to skip a class once in a while. I don't really care about credits."

I do. Incidentally, this girl really doesn't care about credits. Even if she skips classes a lot, she can pass all her classes by studying for one night before the exam, and still rank among the top students. Even the teachers at school call her the brainiac of aliens. Most people would be troubled if they didn't attend enough days, but if she were expelled, she could happily fly around the world.

"But I can't go into the girls' department."

"Just keep watch outside."

"The teachers and the Discipline Committee are patrolling over there."

Just as I mentioned before, those Gestapo-like guys were on duty. Their obsession was even more terrifying than that of the former Soviet National Security Council. There were even stories of them chasing escaped students all the way to Ibaraki Prefecture.

"As long as we don't get caught, it's okay. Even if we do, it's okay because we're from the Seitetsu school."

"You say it like it's none of your business."

Anyway, we went to a coffee shop a little distance from the girls' department gate.

I'd been to this place before when I was waiting for Sakura Kaede. Its defining features were its terrible coffee and its bitter-faced owner. Today's coffee was even worse than last time, and the owner's face was just as bitter. Could he be cursed?

We set up our position by the window and began monitoring the incoming female students.

A closer look revealed a surprising number of attractive girls at Seitetsu. Perhaps because it's a traditional school, many students come from far away. While the uniforms and location aren't particularly impressive, there's something about them that appeals to girls, which is probably why the Bishoujo Research Society in Higashida is so thriving.

"...Why hasn't she come yet?"

Kondou Mikoto muttered. Of course, there's no way a female version of Natsuru could show up.

Akane and I exchanged a glance. There was no point in waiting in a place like this; we both knew the answer. The next thing to do was figure out how to get out of here.

"Ah, isn't that Sakura Kaede?"

"Where?"

Hearing Kondou Mikoto's words, I instinctively moved toward the window.

It's really Sakura Kaede. It's great that she came to school alone. If she'd come with a boy, I'd probably have died from shock.

She looked her usual self, seemingly having pulled herself together.

"She's alone."

"What are you talking about?"

"It would be a headache if a bad boy followed her."

"Why are you saying that again? Would it really be a headache for you?"

"It's a headache for you,"

said Kondou Mikoto, looking bored. I just kept staring at Sakura Kaede.

"...Pervert,"

said Kondou Mikoto next to me.

"What?"

"You've been staring at Sakura Kaede. Are you a stalker?"

"Please don't make me sound like a criminal. I'm innocent."

"Your eyes are evil. You must be thinking something dirty."

"I'm talking to you."

Akane, who had been silent until then, suddenly tugged at my sleeve.

"What...ah?"

I swallowed my words in panic. The Ring of Oath was gleaming. There were no other Kämpfer warriors around. It must have been a random transformation.

"What's wrong... Hey, what's with that bracelet?"

Kondou Mikoto glanced at me with interest. I didn't have the time for that. This was the second time I'd dodged in front of this guy. Why did I have to change now?

I sprinted outside the cafe. Even though Kondou Mikoto was yelling, I didn't have time to pay attention.

Part 2: A Tumultuous School Entrance and Interrogation

Running outside and transforming into a woman happened almost simultaneously.

The sailor uniform of the girls' club, coupled with my long hair, was a good thing I was on my way to school. If I were wearing my own clothes now, I'd be in big trouble.

But the situation was already troublesome enough. Let me sort it out —while I was watching a girl, Sakura Kaede showed up, and then I transformed into a girl. What the hell was going on?

It was terrible, but I managed to stop before it got any worse. Thinking about it, I was lucky.

I made up my mind. Somehow, after transforming into Kämpfer, I became more courageous.

I caught my breath and slowly walked back to the cafe.

I didn't plan to go inside, but instead walked past the window, keeping my gaze visible from inside.

I could sense Kondou Mikoto starting to get nervous inside the shop.

"Auntie, I'm coming."

"Kondou Mikoto... your voice..."

"Where did that idiot Natsuru go? That woman finally showed up!"

I wasn't eavesdropping on purpose, but Kondou Mikoto's loud voice was reaching me. She really wasn't suited to following this.

Mikoto suspect female Natsuru to steal her childhood friend

I pretended not to notice and headed towards the girls' school gate.

All eyes darted towards me, and everyone started to get agitated. I'd only been away from school for a few days, and yet I'd already attracted so much attention. Masumi Nishino's penmanship was truly formidable.

No one approached me to talk. It looked like they were the "Guardian" girls. As soon as I walked forward, the students in front of me automatically split into two lines, standing in a row, just like Moses. After I left, the students formed another long line behind me, a true Moses.

I even heard people whispering, "Is that Lily's...?" or "She's forcing younger people into sisterhood pacts..." or "She ate 10 nurses and 16 female patients while she was in the hospital..." The idea that getting close to her would get you pregnant was ridiculous. That last pregnancy rumor was just absurd.

I tried my best to pretend I wasn't paying attention and walked on, but it seemed impossible. The road from here to the school building was already packed with people, at least a hundred of them staring at me. I deliberately slowed down my pace to let her catch up, and sure enough, she came up to me and spoke.

"Wait a moment,"

someone said to me in a challenging tone.

The girl who caught up with me was Kondou Mikoto, and a rather embarrassed-looking Akane.

"You must be Natsuru, right?"

"..."

I nodded silently.

We were together until just now, but after my transformation, she seemed completely unrecognizable. Humans probably recognize people not by appearance, but by how they feel (if not, how could you tell who's who just by looking at their backs?). Could it be that after becoming Kämpfer, even my demeanor changes?

"I need to talk to you, is that okay?"

Kondou Mikoto walked on without waiting for my response. I followed her silently. It looked like she was going to blackmail me, so she wouldn't do anything so rude to me.

We walked through the middle of the school building and arrived behind the gymnasium... well, no, to the club building.

I was taken to one of the cultural department club rooms. The space was cramped, and there were machines lined up side by side. I felt like I'd seen them there before. Wasn't this the news club?

"Excuse me,"

I asked, trying my best to change my voice.

"News club member...?"

"No, I'm just borrowing it."

The person who lent it to her must be Masumi Nishino; she must have had something to do with this.

"Sit down,"

she said, pointing somewhere casually, and I took my seat.

Kondou Mikoto and I sat across from each other, while Akane was in the corner.

It felt very similar to when Masumi Nishino was interviewing me, but the atmosphere back then had been more friendly. Now, it was completely different. Kondou Mikoto was staring at me.

There wasn't a hint of friendliness; instead, it was more like a murderous aura. No matter where I looked, there was no hint of friendliness.

"Natsuru,"

Kondou Mikoto began.

"You're quite popular with the girls, aren't you?" Was that popular? The first time my breasts were touched, I thought my life was over.

"I have something to ask you."

"...What?"

"I heard you like girls. Is that true?"

I shook my head. Of course I do, but that's only for me as a boy. I still have a man's heart, so the answer is yes. But given the atmosphere, I should say no. If I admit it here, it will get really troublesome later.

Her eyes were still full of doubt.

"Really? —I heard from the news department that you're always preying on cute girls."

"That's not the case..."

That's not the case. I guess I was just being fooled.

"Probably,"

Kondou Mikoto agreed with me straightforwardly.

"Masumi Nishino always writes fake reports. I've thought they were probably fabricated, but I have something else to ask you about today —other rumors about you."

What the hell? It seems Akane said something similar yesterday.

Kondou Mikoto stared at me.

"You actually have a crush on a guy, and that guy is Natsuru from the men's club, right?"

What did you say —?

My mind went blank in shock. To be more precise, there were little angels with the Morinaga logo flying around on a white background, and it was the old packaging.

What the hell is this rumor? I was already scared to death when Shizuku asked me to join the women's club, and this one is even more outrageous. It's beyond my imagination. Why would a girl like me have to like a boy like me? There's no such narcissist in the world.

In the corner of the classroom, Akane fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Hey! You know about this, too, right?"

"It's...it's a lie..."

"This rumor is much more believable because I heard it from the student council president."

Ah—it's Shizuku! I sensed something was amiss in the student cafeteria. So that's what she was up to. That cold-blooded girl actually took advantage of me not being in the girls' club to spread such a ridiculous rumor. (A narcissist!?)

"This is the president's information, so it can't be wrong."

No, it couldn't be wrong.

"What's going on?"

Kondou Mikoto pressed me. My head felt like it was being hammered with a hammer, and I couldn't answer.

"Really? Is this also a lie?"

"..."

My lips were trembling, and only a small part of my brain was working, while the rest of my brain was in a state of suspension, as if a large typhoon had hit.

"Hmph - are you trying to act stupid?"

She said this with disdain. Maybe because she is a girl who likes to say everything clearly, she must be very annoyed by my ambiguous attitude.

"It doesn't matter if I say you like Natsuru, but if that's really the case, then just say it clearly! If you don't say anything and are mistaken for a yuri, wouldn't those girls be too pitiful? It would not be good for you either."

What she said was true, but the person who spread the rumor was Masumi Nishino.

"How about it?"

"..."

"Then let's just assume that you like Natsuru?"

"..."

I'm in a state where I can neither confirm nor deny. No, no, I should deny it now.

Just as I was about to shake my head in denial, Kondou Mikoto spoke first.

"...Honestly, who you like is none of my business. It has nothing to do with me. But Natsuru already has someone he likes. Did you know that?"

I know. It's Sakura Kaede.

"I can't tell you who he likes. That person is very beautiful. You are pretty too, probably as beautiful as her or even prettier. But do you still dare to say you like Natsuru?"

"..."

"And... there are many other girls who like Natsuru."

What are you stuttering about, you idiot? Even if you want to bully someone, you should do it more cleverly. There has never been a girl who likes the male version of me. It would be very strange if one appeared in the future.

"Well... that girl is his childhood sweetheart... let's not worry about that for now..."

Kondou Mikoto's face turned red, probably because she was doing something she was not used to. She looked like she had a fever.

"Anyway, you have a lot of rivals who like Natsuru. Is that okay with you?"

"..."

What's the deal? Where are the rivals? It's just the rumor that I, a girl, like me, a boy.

"If you say yes... I... I'll support you, but Natsuru's feelings are what's most important. Even if that guy isn't very reliable, he'll probably be more motivated if he has a girlfriend."

Kondou Mikoto said this to herself, as if speaking to herself.

"So, do you like him or not?"

"..."

"Do you?"

"..."

Kondou Mikoto's face suddenly moved closer to me.

Forced by her presence, I nodded.

"...I understand."

She stood up.

"I'm sorry to have brought you here. I won't bother you again."

Kondou Mikoto walked out of the news club classroom.

For a long time after that, I was frozen in place.

Part 3: Fallout and The Mysterious Challenge

"That... Natsuru-san..."

Akane called out to me. After she'd called me about ten times, I finally managed to move my lips.

"What's going on..."

I couldn't see my face, but it must have been pale.

Akane's face was about the same.

"I was shocked... Natsuru-san... A girl named Natsuru actually likes a boy named Natsuru..."

"You knew that a long time ago, right?"

"I heard that girl Natsuru already has someone she likes. I didn't expect..."

My hands finally moved, and I hugged my head.

It was so tragic. It's not enough that nothing good happened after becoming Kämpfer, but it's also not easy to encounter such a tragedy. My already complicated interpersonal relationships have finally reached a point of no return.

And I'm the center of it all. Is this what they call fate? Can I just cry my heart out?

"Does everyone know about this?"

"No one, Lily, suspected that it was exaggerated, because the president isn't one to discuss gossip..."

I looked up. So, Shizuku was the one who spread this rumor.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Asshole, just declare war on me head-on instead of playing such despicable tricks behind my back. This woman is such a disgusting cockroach, and a very beautiful one at that.

"Akane, let's go."

"...Where are we going?"

"To the student council room. I'm going to see the president."

Akane said, "I understand," opened the classroom door, and turned back once she was in the hallway.

"...Aren't you coming with me?"

"The shock is so severe I can't even move. Can you help me?"

I said these insignificant words with a serious expression.

By the time I arrived at the student council president's office, my body had mostly recovered, but the front ends of my arms and legs were still numb, a testament to the severity of the shock.

The girl guarding the office was standing by. I seemed to have seen her before.

"Is the president here?"

I asked quickly.

The girl glared back at me sharply.

"If she is, let me in."

"...The student council president isn't here right now."

"Huh? Taking a leave?"

I was shocked that someone like Shizuku would take a leave. Being neither late nor absent was a given for her, and it seemed like she lived an extremely routine life, like a robot.

"She said no one can go in."

"...So she's here, isn't she?"

"No, she made me say that."

"Let me in."

"No."

No matter how many times I asked her, the girl was stubborn and refused to let me in.

Akane kept tugging at my sleeve, so I had to give in. I said, "Please tell the president to kill her!" and left. Why are the student unions filled with such stubborn people?

"That damn president, hiding away."

"...Why?"

Akane whispered.

"Maybe she has something to hide."

That's what she said, but Shizuku wasn't the kind of person who would avoid me just because of that. There must be a reason, but I really couldn't guess what it was.

"Ah—what should I do?"

There was no point in worrying at this point, so I just had to go to the Girls' Second Grade Class 4 classroom.

"Natsuru... can't you just change back on your own?"

"Still not."

I'd tried occasionally before, but the bracelet on my right hand hadn't responded at all. "Your bracelet is really rebellious!" "No matter how rebellious you are, it's still as exaggerated as you are," Seppuku Tiger said gleefully.

I'm so jealous of people like Akane who can transform whenever they want.

"Let's go back to class. We'll worry about what happens next."

"Hmm..."

We walked to the second-grade classroom together.

Inside the classroom, another commotion awaited me. The classmates possessed by money were still the same as before, but the girls, who were targeting me, started to stir.

"Natsuru-sama, you're so mean! You've abandoned me for the boys!"

"Are you tired of girls?"

"Didn't you read the letter I wrote you?"

Was this an apology to the lord? Or was it a protest of a strike? Tears welled up in the eyes of every girl, and it startled me.

"The rumor has spread that Natsuru likes boys."

"Who told you to betray a girl to get this?"

"But you can make a lot of money."

This time, it was three of my old friends. Akane told me this. It seems they're starting to think, "Natsuru likes boys now, so there's a chance to make money."

This is all Shizuku's fault. Although she's come to this conclusion, she can't get out of this situation.

What should I do?

"What kind of guy is that guy?"

"Natsuru, you must have been fooled by him!"

"How dare he hit on my older sister? I will never forgive him!"

As a boy, I don't have the courage to do that, even if the target was me.

The girls' anger was rising again. If this continued, they might go home and get tools to destroy my castle. I had to calm them down before then.

"Wait a minute."

I spread my hands, calming myself down.

"I didn't betray you..."

Oh, really, why did I have to say that?

"I don't like boys..."

I'm not gay, and I really don't want to say I like girls at this point, but these girls seemed to believe it.

"Can we trust you?"

"...Yeah."

The girls gathered around.

"So, will you be my big sister?"

"Natsuru is going to be my little sister."

"Let me touch you first, breasts or anywhere else."

My classmates were watching, seemingly not trying to use their skills to get the girls to line up obediently. Instead, they were betting on how I would fare. Of course, the bankers were still those three.

"Natsuru, please be patient for a moment. That way the odds will improve."

"I'm betting you'll lose, so it's okay if you lose —"

"If you want to help, give me a reward."

I didn't know whether to call them devils or demons, but that was just the way they were. The coldness of human nature and the feeling of helplessness and uncertainty came over me hand in hand.

"I get it..."

I decided to raise the white flag and surrender.

"I'll do what you say,"

the girls cheered.

"Then please take this!"

"I want one too!"

A flood of gifts and letters was handed to me, so much that even the postal department at the New Tokyo Post Office would be shocked. The flood of boxes and stationery quickly buried me up to my neck.

Ding-dong, ding-dong! The bell rang. Phew, it was over.

"You must see the gift I gave you."

"I'll wait for your reply."

The girls chatted back and forth, slowly dispersing like the receding tide.

"Are you... are you okay, Natsuru-san?"

Akane pushed aside the pile of letters and took my hand. The other students were betting on how many seconds it would take to rescue me, the highest being forty-five. It took me exactly one minute and five seconds to be rescued.

"I... I thought I was going to die."

"Do you want to go... to the infirmary?"

I had no external injuries, but I thought I'd just go to bed. If I went, everyone would probably start betting on "when she'll be back."

As I was about to return to my desk, I realized that most of the letters I'd received were in cute envelopes, still securely sealed. While quite a few girls had asked, "Exchange email addresses," I only had my cell phone, which I used when I was a boy, so I decided to stick to old-fashioned communication methods.

But this one seemed different. It was a white envelope, scentless and blank. There was only a ballpoint pen cross on the sticker, no name written on it.

Turning it over, the words on it startled me.

It said "Challenge" in large letters.

"What happened...?"

I tried my best to avoid the eyes and ears of my classmates and secretly showed it to Akane.

Her eyes widened.

"...What is this..."

"I don't know when something like this would get in there."

"Have you opened it?"

"Not yet."

It wouldn't be a good idea to open it here. If the class monitor and the others saw it, it would probably be considered another way to make money.

I told Akane, "Come to my house later," and put the letter in my pocket. I spent the rest of the class in the health room, not returning to the classroom, but going straight home. Sure enough, the group in Class 2, Grade 4 started gambling again, and the accountant who bet "she won't be back today" won big. I heard all this from Akane later.

Part 4: The Decision to Duel

That evening, Akane came over to my house, and we immediately held a meeting to discuss the challenge letter. The attendees included Akane, Seppuku Tiger, and Seppuku Black Rabbit.

I transformed back into my boyish form, pulled out a letter opener from my desk, and opened the letter.

Inside was a piece of paper written in ballpoint pen, and the handwriting was quite beautiful.

"Hurry up and read it."

Seppuku Tiger seemed eagerly anticipating it, while Seppuku Black Rabbit was also there, saying, "Here's some snacks, read them quickly!" Who's drinking with you now?

The content was simple and clear.

"Well... as a fellow Kämpfer warrior, I challenge you to a fight."

Hearing the word Kämpfer, Akane swallowed.

"This Friday night at 11:00 PM, I'll meet you at the Seitetsu Academy Women's Building. If you don't, disaster will befall your lover. That's all."

I handed the letter to Akane, and she read it intently.

"...Is that all?"

"Yeah, there's nothing else in there."

"A Kämpfer warrior's challenge...this is the first time."

I couldn't tell whether Akane sighed out of admiration or surprise. Although her experience with Kämpfer is longer than mine, this was the first time she saw something like this.

"This...could it be the student council president..."

"I don't think so."

Shizuku shouldn't do such a troublesome thing. If it were her, she would have signed up and fought openly.

"It should be the girl who fought with us several times."

"I think so too."

The enemy who attacked us several times before is the most likely one. Although we don't know her name and it's not written in the challenge, there are no other suspicious candidates.

"Friday...that's the day after tomorrow."

"They're really impatient."

"Why choose such a late night?"

"Who knows..."

If possible, please don't do it. I won't be able to see the Tamori Club (Note 9).

"Are you going...?"

"Well."

The Seppuku Tiger's eyes darted back and forth.

"Who's the lover she's talking about?"

"How could I possibly have such a thing?"

"Then who else is she talking about?"

"Who the hell knows."

Did the person who sent this challenge make a mistake? Sakura Kaede is just my unrequited love. It's a shame we haven't reached the point of mutual affection yet.

Akane continued to stare at the challenge.

"Could the lover she's talking about be..."

she muttered.

"9 TV program title.

"A male version of Natsuru..."

"How could that be?"

She probably didn't recognize me before my transformation.

Seppuku Tiger and Seppuku Black Rabbit were stunned for a moment, so I briefly explained the rumor to them. Halfway through, they burst into laughter.

"That's right, that's it."

"Wow, hahaha! Natsuru, the God of Comedy has descended upon you!"

No, that must be Santa Claus.

Lily's suspicions were already giving me a headache, and now there's this messed-up rumor about me liking boys, and even worse, there's even a challenge.

I can't just sit back and watch this go on. "Disaster befalls lovers." I don't know who she's referring to, but since it's also Kämpfer, there's no choice but to accept the challenge.

"…Accept it,"

I decided.

"Even if school gets a little noisy at night, it won't cause any trouble. So, let's just solve one of the problems first, Akane-chan, will you help me?"

"Yes…"

She agreed. I was so grateful. It's so reassuring to have a companion.

"But what about the fact that Natsuru likes Natsuru…"

The two dolls burst out laughing again.

"No matter how you look at it, that's more important!"

"Let's just become an officially recognized couple!"

Although I've had this experience myself, why do people become so irresponsible when it comes to other people's affairs?

I'm at my wit's end. I can only deny it for now. If that happens, it's just a yuri rumor.

"Let's just ignore the women's team for now."

"That's true..."

"I wonder if the men's team knows about this?"

"I don't know about that..."

"Forget it. Those people wouldn't believe me if they knew I liked Sakura Kaede. Seriously, I only love Sakura Kaede..."

"..."

Akane fell silent. I wonder if she wanted to focus on the duel the day after tomorrow. I also need to learn from her.

Seppuku Tiger and Seppuku Black Rabbit are still laughing non-stop. They can get so high without drinking. They really are easy to please.

The showdown will be on Friday night. I can only pray to God that it doesn't rain.

Translator's Notes

This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.

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