Kämpfer:Volume 3 Chapter 3

    Volume 3, Chapter 3  

    The next day at Seitetsu Academy.  

    I went to school dressed as a girl, and my morning posture was pretty much random. I was

afraid that if I had a routine, people would be suspicious, so I had to be careful. I'm

somewhat used to wearing a sailor uniform. But that doesn't mean I love it.  

    Especially that wide, fluttering thing that stretches from the chest to the back. I don't know

what it's for. Is it a collar? I heard it was used by marines to better absorb sound, but high

school girls don't usually participate in marine activities. P lus, it gets really hot in the sun, like

ironing directly on it. When I accidentally revealed this idea to Higashida before, he actually

got angry and said, "Without this, it's not a sailor uniform." Well, that's true...  

    Such short skirts always make me feel embarrassed, and mine seems to be particularly

short. Although other girls' skirts are short, they seem to fold the fabric at the waist to

deliberately make the skirt shorter. Is mine original?  

    I feel strangely cold in my lower body, and I always feel too insecure. Even wearing very

long socks can't avoid the sense of incongruity.  

    Speaking of which, the girls in the girls' department all make subtle modifications to the

uniform school uniform to compete with each other. Women are really amazing...  

    When I approached the girls' school gate, girls all around me kept looking at me.  

    If I were a boy, this wouldn't have happened. As a boy, my presence wouldn't be as

noticeable as a bug hiding in the shadow of a telephone pole. But as a girl, it's different. The

gazes are incredibly harsh.  

    I'm not bragging; it's all the fault of those illegal underground organizations, the "Senou

Observation Association" and the "Sisterhood with the Natsuru Association." These girls are

spreading exaggerated propaganda about me, and the press department is adding fuel to the

fire. It's truly incredible.  

    But getting so much attention as a girl is unbelievable... They're even saying, "(Female)

Natsuru students don't come to school very often, they're mysterious and charming." As a

boy, my absences are similar, but I'm only called "a useless person who's  always taking

leave." The difference is huge.  

    I tried to ignore the gazes and entered the classroom. If I were to make a scene because of

this, I wouldn't be able to survive in the girls' club. I had to endure it.  

    But that thought was instantly shattered upon entering Class 4.  

    "Congratulations, Natsuru!"  

    "We're entering a beauty pageant!"  

    "Senou -san will definitely win!"  

    They lined up in perfect unison, clapping their hands. At the front of the line were naturally

the three older students, with Akane dwarfed behind them.  

    I was overwhelmed by this aura, like an audience member demanding an encore at an

opera. "What...what..." "I heard Sakura Kaede recommended it this morning," the class

monitor said. "The whole school is in an uproar over the appearance of the mysteriou s

beauty Senou Natsuru, so our class has decided to unite and support you." "...Oh..." "We will

do whatever it takes to win." "For example?" "From imprisoning competitors to using drugs,

just leave it to us. However, illegal means will be a bit more expens ive."  

    Not only do you have to commit crimes, but you also have to collect money?  

    The girls are all very energetic. The vice -class monitor is cheering like a parade, while the

accounting students are making some tables. There are odds and so on. I guess they are

planning to open a casino.  

    "According to the information from our class," said the class monitor.  

    "The strongest contender for the championship is Senou -san. Since Sakura Kaede

recommended him, it's a done deal. However, there's also the uncertainty of Sakura Kaede

running for the position herself, so we can't say for sure."  

    She looks like an excellent secretary. With such a smooth presentation, she'd be the kind of

talent every company would be eager to see. If only she weren't so scheming. "Other strong

candidates include Yamakawa Ryoka from Class 2 -1, Minagawa Hitomi fr om Class 3 -3, and

Ueda Makie from Class 1 -5. Well, Natsuru should be able to easily defeat them."  

    The girls around me nodded enthusiastically, some even taking notes. "It's only the

preliminary round, and we can imagine many more girls applying, but we also expect

Natsuru to prevail. We should be grateful for such a strong racehorse... no, classmat e."

    So I'm the horse.  

    The vice -class monitor raised her hand.  

    "Hey, is Sakura Kaede the only enemy?"  

    "Yes."  

    "Will there be more? Like the president?"  

    Ugh! I mentally groaned. Shizuku is one of the two most beautiful women in Seitetsu. Her

appearance would be a real blast.  

    But the class monitor disagreed.  

    "That won't happen. The president has no interest in these things."  

    "Really? Could she actually be interested unexpectedly?"  

    "If the president -elect is appointed, she will indeed be a strong competitor."  

    "Let's go and confirm it now, otherwise Natsuru will be in danger."  

    "Natsuru"...wasn't she still Senou -san until just now? I was already surprised when the

homeroom teacher called me Natsuru -chan...  

    "But without a means of confirmation, it will be very difficult to confirm. The secrecy of

the student union is beyond imagination."  

    "Hmm..."  

    The vice -class representative crossed her arms and thought, yes, that's true. Although the

information of the student union is public to a certain extent, after reaching a certain limit, it

becomes absolutely insurmountable. This is the intelligence sy stem established by Shizuku.  

    The conversation continued, and thanks to this, I quietly settled into my seat.  

    "Don't you have any informants in the student union?"  

    "We do have a few, but we'd better assume they're all spies. If they get in touch with the

president, they'll betray us immediately."  

    "Then let's ask her in person if she'll participate in the competition."  

    "Who will go? I won't be allowed into the student union unless a full class committee

meeting is held. I was rejected once before."  

    Not only the vice -president, but almost all the girls nodded. Class president, what have you

done?  

    "Is there no one who knows the president? Someone who can talk to the president

naturally and is on good terms with her?"  

    "Yeah... not only does it meet these conditions, but it would be best if she is also approved

by the president..."  

    Suddenly, the eyes of the two of them... no, the whole class turned to me. Eh? What's

wrong?  

    "Go ahead, Natsuru~"  

    the vice -class monitor grinned.  

    "You've become one of the three beauties, so you must have a say."  

    "I... I'm not close to the president..."  

    "It's indeed a good fit."  

    The class monitor dealt me the final blow.  

    "The president probably didn't expect the candidates to gather intelligence themselves. If

they gain an advantage in the intelligence war, they'll win this bet. Even if it's just to

embezzle the betting money, please go."  

    The tone was simply irrefutable, and many eyes were piercing me.  

    Once again, I felt the power of girls.  

    Well, I wanted to ask Shizuku about something, so I walked towards the student union

office with the paper bag in my arms. I've been walking on this floor so often since I became

Kämpfer, and I've memorized the way.  

    I went up to the fourth floor of the library, and for some reason I slowed down my steps.  

    Today, the usual guard at the door of the student union office was not there. The girl

named Kuzuhara was a Kämpfer, and Akane and I defeated her.  

    I approached quietly and opened the door suddenly.  

    Shizuku was sitting upright in a chair, looking over here.  

    "Welcome, Senou -san."  

    I had intended to surprise her, but she was so calm. Perhaps she had predicted my arrival.  

    I pulled out a chair and sat down in silence.  

    "She's a girl, so wouldn't it be better to call her Natsuru -san instead of Senou -san?"  

    "Whatever you say."  

    She was so confident. I didn't have to worry about her, so I was pretty relaxed. Although

she looks like a woman, her voice is like a man's, and she can't speak properly in front of

others.  

    "What's the matter?"  

    "I was instigated by my classmates..."  

    "If it's Class 2, Class 4, they'll calm down after the cultural festival."  

    "I don't think so. It's this."  

    I took something out of the paper bag.  

    Inside was a hit -and-run hippopotamus that I brought from home.  

    "I want to ask you about this."  

    I held the hippopotamus out in front of Shizuku.  

    She took it silently. I vaguely felt that it was good that Akane was not here. She said she

didn't want to show it to Shizuku. If she knew I did this, she would definitely kill me without

mercy.  

    "How cute... Sakura Kaede would say so, right?"  

    "I'm not asking for your opinion. This was found in the soil. My Seppuku Tiger said that this

guy had traces of being a messenger."  

    "Oh, really."  

    "You know something about it, right?"  

    "Yeah, then 'it seems like it's been tripped'...how about that?"  

    "What do you mean by 'how about that...' In this world, who would trip a doll? This isn't

food."  

    "It's okay if you don't want to answer seriously. We are enemies anyway."  

    "It's okay if I tell you."  

    Shizuku spun the hit -and-run hippopotamus around on the table.  

    "The one who owns this is a red Kämpfer. I met her when I was in the first grade."  

    It was really a long time ago. Wasn't it the first year that Shizuku became a Kämpfer?  

    "This person taught me a lot, from fighting to life in this school. I really benefited a lot."  

    "Oh? Do you also have something to learn from others?"  

    "Of course. If we are related, then it should be considered a good thing. She looked like a

literary girl, a natural fit for trees. She loved elms and often hung out under them."  

    It's right above the hole I dug.  

    "But she's a Kämpfer, right? Fighting is her instinct. She fought the blue Kämpfer and lost. A

Kämpfer's defeat in battle erases its very existence. The fact that she ever lived quickly faded,

and the messenger vanished with it, too. All that remained was this doll. So I buried it

beneath the tree filled with memories."  

    Shizuku's expression didn't change, but her eyes were mixed with some complicated

emotions as she looked at the hit -and-run hippo.  

    I have no idea what happened between this senior Kämpfer and Shizuku, but it feels like

her words and small emotions seem to be better than any rhetoric.  

    I felt a sense of regret that I had dug out such a precious thing.  

    "Uh... President, this..."  

    Shizuku turned her gaze to me.  

    "How about a story like this?"  

    I almost fell off the chair.  

    "Is it made up..."  

    "What do you think?"  

    "I thought it was true!"  

    "This is really exciting, why don't I compete for the rookie award."  

    I was such a fool for trusting this woman. Maybe it would have been right to act before I

spoke, like Akane did.  

    "Who threw this doll away? Illegal abandonment is really troublesome."  

    The student council will handle it.  

    I'm not in the mood anymore. I really shouldn't have asked.  

    "Senou -san."  

    "What?"  

    "Have you run into a red Kämpfer lately?"  

    "There's one right in front of me."  

    "Apart from me. You know that Kämpfers are attracted to each other, right? It's about time

they show up."  

    "I think it's best if these troubles don't happen."  

    I don't want to turn into a woman if I can.  

    "Really? For me, I still hope she shows up as soon as possible."  

    "Everyone wants a companion, right?"  

    "No matter who it is."  

    Shizuku propped up her chin with her hands.  

    "Don't you have any questions? Why are we forced to fight, why are we chosen by the

mediator, and why do we have a messenger around us?"  

    "Is that so..."  

    I have asked this question several times. Although I was told that Kämpfer is a fighting

being, I was not told why we are fighting.  

    Even if you ask a Seppuku Tiger, it will pretend to be stupid, or it really doesn't know. In any

case, we know too little. Soldiers going to the battlefield should also know the purpose of the

battle. It makes me feel uncomfortable just thinking about it.

    "Well... at least... I guess..."  

    "This is a normal reaction. If it was your partner, she would probably say, 'There is no need

for a reason to fight.'"  

    She is such a woman.  

    "But I'm different. I don't want to be blinded and thrown into a fight. Even though I don't

know what the Mediator is, I don't want to be played around by it."  

    Shizuku was serious. She had no interest in jokes, but I could still feel her compulsion. I

almost wanted to sit up straight.  

    "I used to think that if I kept fighting, I would find out, but that's not the case. So I don't

want to fight the Blue Kämpfer honestly. I'm not a Mediator's minion."  

    "Didn't you attack me earlier?"  

    "That's because I thought you were an ignorant fool. Fortunately, I was wrong."  

    "..."

    If I hadn't been wrong, I would have been killed.  

    "Everyone who wants to know must know. This is my style, and it won't change even if I

become Kämpfer. I will let the mediator know what kind of enemies it has established."  

    "..."

    "Then it will be its memorial day."  

    The last sentence was very short.  

    It is impossible to judge which of what Shizuku said is sincere, but this woman must have a

belief, a belief hidden deep in her heart that no one can reach. For me, who even has to

worry about the brand when buying instant noodles, this is really diffi cult to do.  

    "Senou -san?"  

    "...Uh, ah, what?"  

    She suddenly said, making me panic.  

    "Is this what you are talking to me about?"  

    "Uh...no, actually there is another thing..."  

    In the end, I still asked Shizuku if she would participate in the beauty pageant.  

    She was not surprised, but she didn't tell me. "Will it be good for me if I participate in the

preliminary round?"  

    "It seems... it will be good for my class."  

    "Class 4, Grade 2 is still the same. What has happened to Sakura Kaede?"  

    "I also think that if you participate, I will not be so conspicuous."  

    "Do you want to give up the victory?"  

    "Why would a boy participate?"  

    Regardless of the appearance, it still feels strange. Although she is a mysterious student,

she is actually a boy. How to say it, if she really participates in the beauty pageant, wouldn't

it be too rude to other contestants.  

    Shizuku didn't seem to be thinking about it. Judging from her expression, she probably felt

that this matter was not worth thinking about.  

    "Speaking of whether Sakura Kaede will participate..."  

    "I heard that."  

    "It was recommended by first -year classmate Kondou Mikoto."  

    Is it still going along with Sakura Kaede?  

    "I'm planning on just losing and supporting Sakura Kaede later. That's better."  

    "You're already winning, but you're still going to give up?"  

    Is this woman still playing mahjong?  

    "I think it's better to liven things up. A fight between the mysterious pretty girl and Sakura

Kaede will really liven up the cultural festival."  

    "That's what you say, but I don't want to. What do you think?"  

    Shizuku's answer was quite reasonable.  

    "It doesn't matter if I go or not. I'll have to go backstage. The cultural festival must be a

success."  

    "...Is this your mission as Kämpfer?"  

    "No, it's my responsibility as the student council president."  

    Only then did Shizuku become, in my eyes, just an ordinary high school third -year student.  

    "I came out of the student union office and was wondering what to do.  

    This place is right at the dividing line between the boys' and girls' departments. I can go

anywhere because I have an ID card.  

    If I go to the boys' department, that guy from Higashida will definitely pester me and ask

for information. If I go to the girls' department, the girls will discuss gambling and so on.  

    I feel that no matter where I go, nothing good will happen. I might as well stay in the

infirmary, but I can't bear to do that as a truant student. The infirmary teacher looks scary

with his long hair.  

    I decided to go back to the boys' department. It's boring. "I'm going to die anyway," such a

self-destructive thought prevailed.  

    The classroom was full of topics about the cultural festival, and of course the beauty

pageant was the main topic.  

    "Oh, the implementation committee member is here."  

    Higashida spotted me with his sharp eyes, and approached me while saying something like

"You are late, devil", I really wanted to argue with him that I was not late.  

    "You came at the right time, we are in a meeting now."  

    "I have nothing to say about the beauty pageant."  

    I have said enough in the girls' department.  

    "You wish, you have such important responsibilities as the class implementation

committee member and the advisor of the Bishoujo Research Association, we are discussing

it excitedly."  

    I was forcibly taken away, and a group of guys gathered in front of the blackboard. Wow,

isn't it the whole class of Class 4? A student holding a piece of chalk began to explain

enthusiastically.  

    "In other words, each grade in the girls' department is different, so the grade is very

united, and there will be at least one person from each grade."  

    Oh~" There were praises from the audience.  

    "Of course there won't be only one person, but the number of people from each grade

should be the same. It would be embarrassing if there were only a few people from your

grade."  

    "I see."  

    "As expected of Hanzawa."  

    Praises were heard from everywhere.  

    The one who was full of enthusiasm was a guy called Hanzawa Yuichi, who had recently

joined the Bishoujo Research Club but was performing very well. In Higashida's words, he

was "a highly anticipated newcomer."  

    I heard that he only has eyes for fictional women, and that he's deeply in love with them.

Anyway, he's so exaggerated that he cries when the women in the comics get together with

the male protagonist, and he cries when the heroine in the TV confesses her love in the last

episode. I heard that he was deeply shocked when the heroine's love destination was not

Hanzawa but someone else. Isn't this a show made for you, Hanzawa? This is only natural.  

    I was thinking that if that's the case, why not just play a love game? He actually played it,

but I don't know if it's bad luck or what, but he always... It was a BAD ENDING, so tragic. I

heard that he had realized something these days, saying somethin g like "I want to leave the

two-dimensional world and enter the three -dimensional world" and knocked on the door of

the Bishoujo Research Society.  

    The guy who seemed hopeless was actually a regular player in the baseball team, the

fourth -ranked pitcher. He was a fastballer who could throw 150 kilometers per second when

he tried his best. Even so, our school couldn't win because Hanzawa skipped th e next day's

practice to watch late -night anime. I don't know if it's being recorded now.  

    "Oh~ consultant."  

    Hanzawa said, referring to me.  

    "What do you think of Senou? A candidate for a beauty pageant."  

    "Isn't it more important that we don't decide on a class plan? As an executive committee

member, I have to report it to the student council."  

    "Just decide on one."  

    That was too casual. My classmates were also saying things like, "Let's just use the lounge

like last year," "Just put a few vending machines in the classroom and forget about it," "Just

put some mattresses in for napping," and so on. There really are only lazy people here.  

    "Just report one, and then what? What about the candidates?"  

    "I heard from a few people."  

    I let it slip - but it was too late. It wasn't just Hanzawa and Higashida, the whole group of

guys were biting me immediately.  

    "Who will compete?"  

    "That tall girl from the second grade will compete, right?!"  

    "In order of cuteness!"  

    They were all lazy, but at this moment their eyes lit up. In a way, they looked a lot like Class

4, Grade 2 of the Girls' Department.  

    "Hey, calm down!"  

    Higashida called out. I heard that he had worked as a security guard at an idol concert and

was very skilled at calming everyone down.  

    "Senou, tell us what you know."  

    "But..."  

    "That pit hasn't been dug yet."  

    "Got it."  

    I agreed hesitantly.  

    "From what I heard, there's a girl named Yamakawa Ryoka in Class 1, Grade 2."  

    "I know, she has a typical idol face, very white skin and short stature. She looks like a loli."  

    Higashida followed up what I said with his explanation.  

    "Anyone else... Hitomi Minagawa from Class 3, Grade 3."  

    "Oh, she's the main player of the track and field club. She participated in the Metropolitan

Conference. A sports magazine once interviewed her and made a special issue on beautiful

female athletes. She's very well -known."  

    "And Makie Ueda from Class 5, Grade 1, is also competing."  

    "She's a high -profile girl. Rumor has it that she's even auditioned for showbiz. She's always

cheerful and sociable, and her poor grades are also her cute point."  

    Does this guy have a database of beautiful girls in his head? I always feel that all the

information he has is meaningless to life, but I have to admire him.  

    "That's all?"  

    "No, there's also...ah...it seems that Sakura Kaede was also recommended."  

    "Oh, this is awesome, it's the main course."  

    The people around were also saying, "The winner is decided now," "She's going to be a

force to be reckoned with," and so on. Sakura Kaede's beauty and popularity are just so

overwhelming.  

    "Does Senou think that Sakura Kaede will be the winner in the end?"  

    "Of course, no matter who goes up, she can't win."  

    What Higashida asked was nonsense. Although I don't know how the voting is done, I will

support Sakura Kaede no matter what. The top of this school can only be Sakura Kaede.  

    Higashida seemed to be thinking about something.  

    "Aren't there any others?"  

    "Huh?"  

    "The Bishoujo Research Club was planning a big special, but these few people are too few.

Even if they were to write about Sakura Kaede's crushing victory, there wouldn't be enough

cannon fodder."  

    "The application process for candidates hasn't closed yet, so we don't know yet. Can't it be

released next week?"  

    "They'll publish a preview beforehand."  

    You really are a man who knows how to seize opportunities. You're going to be the editor -

in-chief of a photo album magazine in the future.  

    "Anyone else..."  

    Actually, there was one more person, but Higashida caught me in a moment of hesitation.  

    "Anyone else? Who?"  

    "...Senou from the girls' group."  

    Oh, oh~ cheers erupted.  

    "That's awesome."  

    "This is the main course."  

    "It's enough to compete with Sakura Kaede."  

    All of them were getting excited.  

    "Senou from the Girls' Club" was a mysterious person to the boys. She was a beauty who

seldom came to school, so they heard rumors about her before they even saw her. Moreover,

the News Club had written a special about yuri mystery, which made people i magine even

more.  

    Recently, "I" was also very popular in the boys' club. The photos that I had given to

Higashida were copied and circulated throughout the school. Some of them came from other

sources, and I heard that the accounting students from the Girls' Club were s elling them. It

was really scary.  

    "Looks like this is a beauty pageant for hunting."  

    "That's possible, there are so many beauties for her to choose from."  

    "Maybe she'll get knocked down in the preparation room."  

    "I really want to install a camera."  

    You guys should make drafts even if you don't pay taxes.  

    Hanzawa wrote several names on the blackboard. My name was written especially large

and circled.  

    "Anything else? Anything else?"  

    You're so excited, you former otaku.  

    "That's all."  

    "Okay, it's enough to have Senou and Sakura Kaede. This is awesome, it's definitely going

to be lively. I really want to sneak into the beauty pageant venue."  

    Boys and girls can move around freely at the cultural festival, but this is the first time a

beauty pageant has been held since the establishment of boys' schools, so there are very

high requirements for entry, and tickets will definitely be rare.  

    "Okay, the policy of the Bishoujo Research Society is set."  

    Higashida said loudly, it was clearly an illegal club activity, yet it was so blatant. Well,

although everyone in this class knows about it, everyone knows about it.  

    "In order to make it more lively, I hope there is a way to control the beauty pageant."  

    Huh? What did this guy say?  

    "Generally speaking, it should be Sakura Kaede's victory. She is also very popular in the

girls' department. Although this time, a female Senou Natsuru showed up halfway, the result

is uncertain, but there is a 60% chance that Sakura Kaede will win."  

    The whole class nodded. Idiot, it is 100% likely to be Sakura Kaede.  

    "So... we want Senou Natsuru to win this beauty pageant."  

    What! I couldn't help but jump up.  

    The whole class looked at me in confusion.  

    "Hey, even though it's Natsuru, it's not you."  

    "Ah...that's right. No, it should have been Sakura Kaede, so why did you let Senou win?"  

    "For the future."  

    Higashida, his arms crossed, put on a serious expression.  

    "Letting Sakura Kaede win here would be too commonplace. As a bishoujo club, we're

hoping Senou Natsuru wins, so there's some resentment."  

    "Resentment...?"  

    "Wrestling is common, right? Using the beauty pageant as an opportunity, two beauties

will go head -to-head. Then, all we have to do is hype the situation up, and we'll have plenty

of topics to talk about before graduation."  

    "As expected of Higashida,"  

    Hanzawa was the first to sigh.  

    "So you're thinking about the bishoujo club. The president isn't just here for free, is he?"  

    "No, it's for everyone in the men's club. More fun is always better."  

    It's all good, but I'm the raw material for your fun.  

    Of course, these guys didn't know about my troubles. They all agreed. Hanzawa said

something gratefully, "It's great to be in a bishoujo club." Are all athletes stupid?  

    "Higashida! Wouldn't that taint Sakura Kaede's experience?"  

    I protested.  

    "It's okay. I'm sure she can handle it."  

    "I'm troubled!"  

    As a fan of Sakura Kaede, and since I'll be attracting attention myself, I still want Sakura

Kaede to win no matter what. "Seitetsu beauties = Sakura Kaede" —this beautiful formula

driven by E=mc² —why don't you understand? By the way, the 2 here isn't m ultiplied by 2,

but squared.  

    "...We know you're a Sakura Kaede -ist,"

    Higashida said.  

    "But for the sake of everyone, Senou Natsuru should win here."  

    "Yes, yes."  

    "It's just for once, it doesn't matter!"  

    Not only Hanzawa, but the entire class agreed with Higashida. Damn, these guys don't love

Sakura Kaede enough. The victory of such a beautiful person is just a matter of natural law,

like an apple falling from a tree. Please don't understand my misfort une.  

    "We still don't know what kind of woman Senou... Senou Natsuru is. Maybe she's not

worthy of being Miss Seitetsu. Maybe she's in debt, the mistress of a gangster, or a warrior

who spends her days fighting..."  

    "Well, it's true that we only know she has yuri tendencies, but that doesn't matter. If she

were to appear at a beauty pageant, we'd know a lot. But she can't be a warrior,"  

    Higashida said. Sorry, everyone, only the last one is true.  

    "Or is it about Senou? Are there other people who can liven up the conversation and

become the subject of discussion?"  

    "...I think so."  

    I lied.  

    "What are they?"  

    "Uh...for example..."  

    That's it. I can't think of anything. Is it because I got too excited after bringing up Sakura

Kaede? I always do that. "If Sakura Kaede is cheating," I'm doomed. "Sakura Kaede is in

trouble, so please bring the money here quickly." If I hear that, I'l l take all my belongings to

the bank. Sakura Kaede, your devilish side is also so beautiful.  

    "What is it, Senou?"  

    "Uh... uh... by the way, there's another person competing in the beauty pageant."  

    Not only Higashida, but Hanzawa and all the other guys also looked skeptical.  

    "Who?"  

    "The... the president."  

    The whole room erupted in excitement... if only I could say that.  

    "President... Shizuku will also compete. Actually, I just went to the student council office

and heard her say it there. It can't be wrong."  

    It was definitely a lie. I actually told such a huge lie.  

    And so, the men finally erupted in excitement.  

    "This is incredible!"  

    "It's definitely a free -for-all!"

    "Absolutely!" "No doubt!"  

    After calming down the noisy classmates, Higashida asked me,  

    "Really?"  

    "...Yeah."  

    "In that case, there's really no need to deliberately let Senou Natsuru win. No, it doesn't

matter who wins. This beauty pageant will go down in the annals of Seitetsu."  

    His face was practically beaming. It wasn't just this guy; all the men's faces lit up. It felt like

the class had suddenly united. Is this what cultural festivals mean when they strengthen

student cohesion?  

    Only I, with no joy on my face, had to make the recommendation.  

    I took advantage of my break to go to the student union office. Now, no one thinks I'm

weird when I walk around the library. Seriously, it seems like I'm close to the student union.  

    "Ah, Natsuru -san."  

    Akane, who was at the first -floor counter, waved at me. She was on duty as the library

committee member today.  

    "Borrowing books?"  

    "No, I'm going to the student union."  

    She pointed upstairs.  

    "Going to see the president...?"  

    "Yeah, something happened..."  

    "I... I'm going too."  

    She hurried out of the counter.  

    "The president... well... we can't be careless, so I'm going too."  

    "Isn't it okay to be on duty as the library committee member?"  

    "We have to stop the president's plot first!"  

    Although she's very reliable, I still feel like she's misunderstood something.  

    "Don't worry, I can handle it by myself."  

    "But, but..."  

    "Wait for me here."  

    After saying that, I went up to the fourth floor.  

    I rushed into the office without knocking as usual. Why can't you be surprised?  

    As expected, Shizuku was still sitting in the same posture.  

    "Senou -san, I think etiquette should still be observed."  

    "Just turn a blind eye."  

    I strode towards her.  

    "Please participate in the beauty pageant."  

    If it were Akane, she would have been scared, but Shizuku was very calm.  

    "There is a reason. If you participate... it will be much more lively... and it will help me a

lot."  

    I didn't give a reason; it was entirely my fault, or perhaps it was caused by my need to

maintain my position. While it's usually necessary to explain the reason...  

    her face told me she saw through everything.  

    "Again? Is there nothing else that would make me happy?"  

    "It's a shame I don't know your preferences."  

    "Will participating in the competition benefit me?"  

    It was the same question from before.  

    "Maybe not for you... but for me."  

    "Male willfulness?"  

    "Whatever you say."  

    Thinking calmly, that's what it was. The women's club said Shizuku's appearance would be

a huge crowd -pleaser, but it wouldn't mean anything to Shizuku herself. If I said it was just for

the students' amusement, I wondered if she'd accept it.  

    "Whether you like it or not, I will recommend you."  

    "Oh, even the student union recommendation has to be reviewed in advance. If you reject

it here, you can't participate in the official competition. To prevent mischief."  

    "Just eliminate yourself and it will be fine?"  

    "Yes."  

    "...In other words, if I am recommended, I will pass unconditionally?"  

    "Very smart."  

    This guy is definitely an S, there is no doubt about it.  

    She probably relies on such means to secure the position of student union president. It is

really hard to like her. I don't like S, how can I feel comfortable if it hurts.  

    Shizuku read the word literally and laughed, "Hehe."  

    "In this case, it's not that I can't participate."  

    "...Really?"  

    "You owe me."  

    Wow, this is a big debt. What this woman said is definitely usury, and the interest rate

might be 10% in ten days.  

    "How is it?"  

    "Ugh..."  

    I was confused, and the alarm kept echoing in my mind, an alarm that was more

dangerous than the nuclear leak at the Three Mile Island Nuclear Power Plant in the United

States in 1979.  

    What Shizuku said is definitely not a good thing. She said yes herself, so there must be

some interests that I don't know about. This is not a big deal, but there is a high possibility

that I, a bystander, will be affected.  

    Shizuku and I have always been enemies. Although we are in a relatively comfortable state

now due to a strange balance, it would not be surprising if we fight again at any time. Wait,

she seemed to have said that she would not fight now.  

    "How is it?"  

    "..."

    "That's really unpleasant."  

    Shizuku leaned back in the chair.  

    "It's no big deal, it's okay now."  

    "What is it?"  

    I was on guard, thinking they might lose my little finger, or something even more

spectacular. It reminded me of a Toei gangster movie where someone's entire hand was

chopped off.  

    But she didn't take out a dagger, but tilted her neck forward.  

    "Can you rub my shoulders for me?"  

    "Huh?"  

    "Shoulders."  

    It didn't seem like a joke, so I walked behind her.  

    She had long black hair, not a light blonde, and she hadn't turned into a Kämpfer.  

    I reached out my hand to the side of her head and neck and pressed it gently.  

    It wasn't hard, but it seemed like the muscles inside were a little tight. People with stiff

necks often say "it feels like there's a piece of iron plate inside", and Shizuku's words felt like

molten iron solidifying. This is indeed something that shou ld be taken seriously.  

    I started to rub it and moved my fingers.  

    "...wasn't the massage very good?"  

    "Shut up."  

    If even high school students had stiff necks, it would be the end of the world. I've only ever

massaged my dad's shoulders.  

    Shizuku closed her eyes slightly...right? Probably.  

    "...This is my first time having my shoulders massaged by a man."  

    "Me too. The last time I massaged a woman's shoulders was when I was a kid, my mom."  

    "Am I my first?"  

    "Don't say anything that might cause misunderstandings. The people who massaged your

shoulders would probably give you handfuls if they wanted."  

    "Impression is a problem. Being perceived as a middle -aged woman by the student council

president is a bit of a stretch."  

    "Some people have a thing for married women."  

    Although I don't.  

    Starting from the head and neck, I could have used my elbow to massage her if I wanted,

but of course I didn't.  

    Speaking of which, she does have slender shoulders. I originally thought she was just

skinny and had muscles like a gorilla, but she's just as soft as she looks. When Higashida

showed me Shizuku's swimsuit photo before, I thought her physique was a bit  stronger. So

that one was synthetic?  

    "What do you think I am?"  

    Wow, don't scare me, can you read my mind?  

    "...I always feel like I have a mechanical body, the one in the Galaxy Railway."  

    "No screws, sorry to disappoint you. I'm human, a very ordinary high school student."  

    "Absolutely as ordinary as you."  

    Apart from Kämpfer, Shizuku's abilities are too outstanding. She always ranks at the top in

whatever she studies, is better than men in sports, and is an expert in art, housework, and

everything else. I saw her play the violin again, and before I even heard the music, I was

floored by the audience's exaggerated, mesmerized presence. Even the sparrows were

listening quietly.  

    "...Although everyone praised it highly, it's actually nothing big. It's just exaggerated."  

    "I heard you won some award for violin."  

    "The Vienna competition? I forgot because I wasn't interested."  

    Isn't that amazing? It's really great that she could forget about it.  

    "I've only met the expectations of those around me. Life is so easy when you're on the

right track."  

    "Your track is really wide enough."  

    "But I haven't done what I wanted to do yet."  

    "Your words mean anything."  

    "Not really. When I was a kid, I didn't want to be the person I am now."  

    "Then what do you want to do?"  

    "Crosstalk"  

    My hands couldn't help but stop. Crosstalk? Singing comedy?  

    It was definitely a joke... but she seemed serious. Even though I couldn't see her face, I

could tell from the atmosphere.  

    "I love comedians, and I've always dreamed of sitting on a stage and making people laugh,

but I'm not very good at telling jokes, so I can't."  

    It's not that I can't... it just doesn't seem like a joke.  

    At least I know Shizuku is humane... but maybe it's just a tactic to make me think she's

humane, albeit a strange one.  

    "Then why don't you just stop doing Kämpfer?"  

    "Yeah, but now I have a reason to keep doing it."  

    "What the hell."  

    "Did you forget?"  

    Did she say anything? I've heard a made -up story before.  

    There were only Shizuku and I in the office, no other students. I don't know why she sent

everyone away.  

    "...About that dirty stuffed doll you brought."  

    "Huh? Ah..."  

    "That's something Sakura Kaede gave away."  

    "For whom?"  

    No answer. The original owner, huh?  

    "...So, what? A stuffed doll given by Sakura Kaede turns into a messenger!?"  

    "Yes, your Seppuku Tiger and my Electrocuted Bobcat were originally Sakura Kaede's, as

were Kuzuhara's, and probably Akane's too."  

    It's true, Kämpfer always has a dirty stuffed doll around, but I didn't expect it was all given

by Sakura Kaede.  

    "Sakura Kaede...is she related to the Mediator?"  

    "I think so,"  

    Shizuku said decisively.  

    "It can't be unrelated, I just don't know how much."  

    "You must be investigating."  

    "I haven't found any way to investigate."  

    "Have you found it now?"  

    "..."

    You won't tell me. Is this secrecy again?  

    My heart raced. My classmate Sakura Kaede... even though she's not mine yet, Sakura

Kaede is actually a companion of the Mediator. That angelically beautiful, a combination of

goddess and bodhisattva, made up of the best parts of every actress in the w orld—Sakura

Kaede is actually related to Kämpfer. It's nonsense, but when I told Higashida about

"angelic~~," he said, "I wouldn't be that bad." I was so embarrassed.  

    The Mediator is such a troublemaker, picking anyone to fight Kämpfer just once. I really

want to see his face.  

    If I investigate Sakura Kaede, will we find out about the Mediator?  

    "Will the dirty dolls definitely become messengers?"  

    "It would be troublesome if all of them were, the warehouse would be too noisy."  

    "Then we can't say that the ones distributed by Sakura Kaede will definitely become

messengers."  

    "That's true, but you can also say that the dirty dolls distributed by Sakura Kaede will

become messengers."  

    In other words, someone will become a Kämpfer, and there will be one more girl who

transforms and fights with weapons.  

    "I saw the project plan for one of Sakura Kaede's classes, and it seems to be a doll

exhibition."  

    "Could it be..."  

    "Dirty dolls."  

    Shizuku said. I think so too, Sakura Kaede loves dirty dolls the most.  

    "...Does that mean there will be more Kämpfers?"  

    "I'm just analyzing the possibility, but it's very likely."  

    That's true.  

    "If there are more Kämpfers... Red or Blue, which side do you think it will be?"  

    "How should I know?"  

    "I don't care."  

    She continued, her tone slightly shifting.  

    "You defeated Kuzuhara, didn't you?"  

    "According to your strategy."  

    "The mediators probably thought so too. If it were me, I'd send in a new Kämpfer to keep

watch,"  

    I couldn't help but ask.  

    "To keep an eye on the president?"  

    "Of course."  

    Her tone remained unchanged. She truly remained calm no matter what happened.  

    "Kämpfer usually transforms into a female, though there are exceptions."  

    "I'm really sorry about that."  

    "Sakura Kaede will be competing, right? She loves giving out dirty dolls to other people, so

she'll probably give them out to the contestants."  

    "...and then what?"  

    "Didn't I just say that? Similarly, high school girls and dirty dolls, don't you think there's

going to be a chemical reaction?"  

    Speaking of the potential for Kämpfer to increase, beauty pageants are the biggest, aren't

they?  

    In the past, Seppuku Tiger mentioned who Kämpfer was attracted to, and I'll be competing,

and Shizuku will be too (probably), so it's perfect for the newcomer Kämpfer to appear. And

besides, Sakura Kaede, who loves dirty dolls, is also here.  

    Shizuku continued.  

    "Maybe it's not just Kämpfer, there's someone who wants to get rid of me."  

    "...This isn't surveillance anymore, it's murder."  

    "Yeah, that's really exciting."  

    It was really calm, even though she was being watched.  

    "Beauty pageant, can I quit?"  

    "No, I have to go if you want me to. The new Kämpfer and the messenger might not have

the same detailed intelligence as us, and the closer they are to the mediator, the more

intelligence they have. So if we can catch them..."  

    Are you going to torture them?  

    Shizuku showed her hostility towards the mediator. She was a mechanical woman, so it

wasn't obvious on the surface, but since she said it, it must be true. And she didn't care

about the consequences - whether it was the surveillance or the assassin, sh e planned to

fight on.  

    Shizuku is truly remarkable, but I'm troubled. I don't want to be dragged down by Shizuku's

ambitions. If the mediator becomes the enemy, a fight will erupt without distinctions. The

consequences of your actions will be disastrous.  

    "Senou -san."  

    "Hmm...oh."  

    I finally realized that I had been lost in thought, so I hadn't rubbed her shoulders, and my

hands were still resting on her chest.  

    "Sorry... I'm sorry."  

    I quickly withdrew my hand and turned to look at her.  

    "I really can't be careless with you."  

    "I already said sorry!"  

    "Unsatisfied?"  

    "How is that possible!"  

    I hid my hand behind my back. I explained that I don't remember the feeling or anything

like that.  

    Shizuku was still so calm. If she was angry, I would be relieved. It's as if I wasn't being

treated as a man.  

    She turned her shoulders a few times.  

    "Thank you, I feel much better."  

    "No big deal."  

    "Although you touched other places too."  

    "I apologized!"  

    If she had smiled at this time, it would have been saved, but she still had that expression,

which was scary.  

    "You said I owed you something, and I'll pay it back after you rubbed my shoulders."  

    "Why do you ask that?"  

    "I'm wondering if I'll be forced to join you in killing the mediator."  

    "That's a good idea."  

    She said that, but the tone of her voice made it clear that this was planned from the

beginning. You wanted me to be your minion.  

    Shizuku stood up and turned to me.  

    "Although I thought I'd pay it back after I rubbed my shoulders, you didn't do it very well."  

    "That's so annoying. I don't have any money."  

    "Why don't you pay me back in some other way?"  

    "What?"  

    "Can you close your eyes for a while?"  

    What the hell? Suddenly.  

    "Close your eyes,"  

    I did as I was told.  

    Standing like this in the dark was unexpectedly scary. I felt dizzy all the time. My sense of

balance is really bad.  

    Suddenly, a fragrance wafted in.  

    A light, melting smell, not perfume, but soap? But why is there such a smell...  

    I was not told to open my eyes, but I opened one.  

    I almost fell down, because Shizuku's face was just a few centimeters away from me.  

    And she had her eyes closed, and her lips were about to touch mine. Eh? Eh!?!?  

    Sweat spurted out. What am I doing to Shizuku? No, the other way around. Shizuku, what

are you doing to me? Although I know, I have to be mentally prepared for everything...  

    At this moment, there was a bang.  

    The moment I thought "Did the door open?" the person who came in jumped up, and

almost at the same time Shizuku left me and did a backflip.  

    Then I heard a collision, and before my eyes was a crisscross of pistols and daggers.  

    "You are still so irritable."  

    "Shizuku, what do you want to do to my partner?"  

    It was Akane, biting the Pocky into pieces with big mouthfuls, her eyes full of murderous

intent, the muzzle of the gun was aimed at Shizuku, she was no longer a fierce dog but a

rabid dog.  

    Shizuku held two daggers in her hands, kneeling on one knee to restrain Akane, one

dagger blocked the gun, and the other was pointed at Akane's abdomen. Her hair was

shining, she must have transformed in an instant.  

    "I just want him to pay back the debt."  

    "Bullshit, Natsuru is innocent, don't push him and take advantage of the opportunity."  

    "That's a harsh thing to say."  

    "You have no right to tease Natsuru."  

    "It's fun to tease the younger ones."  

    Shizuku moved, although Akane pulled the trigger, the bullet only made a hole in the floor.  

    Black and light gold danced in the air, and in this small room, Shizuku jumped up, stabbing

at Akane with her chained daggers at the same time.  

    The dog girl rolled on the ground and fired, knocking away one dagger but the other was

about to stab her throat.  

    The dagger was surrounded by flames, not Akane's bullets, but my fire, my magic was

activated. I had transformed into Kämpfer.  

    Shizuku landed on the ground and retracted both daggers.  

    "You bitch!"  

    Akane, furious, wanted to shoot again, but Shizuku was faster. After moving at a speed that

could only be explained by "teleportation", one dagger pierced the muzzle of the gun, and

the other appeared in front of my chest.  

    Akane and I were instantly unable to move.  

    "How about a truce?"  

    "Fuck you,"  

    Akane replied without hesitation, her energy already surging.  

    "I'm irritated by your face, and the more you keep getting angry, the irritated I get. I'll beat

you up into a piece of modern art with holes all over its eyes and send you to the art

appraisal program 'Anyone Can Be Picasso.' Remember that."  

    "Akane's transformation made her prettier, but her character has also deteriorated."  

    "Anyone who wants to eat their partner has even less character."  

    "Don't you consider yourself a gourmet?"  

    "Believe it or not, I'll fuck you!"  

    Shizuku said calmly to the enraged Akane.  

    "We need Senou -san to fight the Mediator."  

    "What nonsense!"  

    "One person wouldn't be enough."  

    "Then go get your body modified, like the Thousand -Armed Avalokitesvara, or just borrow

a cat's paw."  

    "A boy will be enough."  

    Shizuku sheathed her dagger and turned away, ignoring Akane.  

    "You're trying to escape, bitch!?"  

    "Class is already in session."  

    Had she missed the bell after all the commotion?  

    "You guys should go to class too, Akane. If you want to know about me... ask Senou -san.

He'll tell you a lot."  

    Akane turned a horrified gaze at me. "Hey! Shizuku! What do you want me to explain? I

haven't heard anything about you."  

    "So, Senou -san, you'll have to pay me back what you owe me sooner rather than later."  

    Shizuku walked out of the student union office.  

    "Huh? You haven't paid me back yet?"  

    It's just me and Akane left.  

    "..."

    The bulldog girl fell silent. Haha, do dogs really not understand human language?  

    ...It doesn't seem so. Is she angry? I don't know the reason, but this girl is always angry.

She woke up in the morning and found a crow outside the window, her shoes didn't match,

the weather forecast host's hairstyle made her angry, and so on. She re ally is a girl who can't

make any progress.  

    I really need to teach this woman a lesson. There are things in the world that you can't

help but be angry about. That host looks a bit like classmate Sakura Kaede.  

    "Hey, Akane..."  

    Bang bang bang bang bang  

    "...It's so noisy."  

    The muzzle of the gun was smoking, and all the bullets passed over my head, drawing a

beautiful circle on the wall.  

    "If you do this again next time, I will kill you. If you are done to this, I will kill you too.

Remember this."  

    Akane kicked the floor hard and went out.  

    Half a class time passed, and my waist was still weak.  

Translator's Notes

This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.

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