Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume29 Chapter3 5

Not Here. Part 5.

As Yumi was leaving the clubhouse, she saw a familiar face.

"If you're after Touko-chan, she's not here."

The drama club's president was wearing her school coat and carrying her bag. She'd probably left something behind in the clubroom and came back for it. Either that or she was planning on secluding herself in the clubroom and working on something.

"Oh, really?"

Yumi hadn't actually come here to see Touko, but there was no need to say that. When they passed each other, Yumi smiled and nodded, while the drama club's president spoke.

"Because she wanted to go to the Rose Mansion today."

Thinking that the club president was calling her to stop, Yumi slowly turned around. The club president was facing her. They had swapped positions but, as before, they were still facing off against each other.

Yumi had no unfinished business here, but it looked like her opponent did. Yumi fished the girl's name from her memory. Internally, Yumi thought of her as the 'drama club's president,' but there was no way she was going to use that when talking to her.

"It must be rough on Touko-chan. Especially at this time of the year, now that she's the petit soeur of one of next year's Roses."

"Tsukasa-san..."

The answer popped out of Yumi's mouth before she was conscious of it. That's right. Tsukasa-san. The girl's name was Takagi Tsukasa-san.

Yumi had probably heard it from Touko, when she was relaying Tsukasa-san's consent to their becoming soeurs.

"I suppose you could call it selfless devotion. How she figured out a way to have time to help with the Yamayurikai work … by rehearsing during lunch break."

Not knowing how to respond, Yumi kept silent. Tsukasa-san said, "Looks like you already knew about that," then smiled and sighed.

"Then how about the cuts and bruises on her arms and legs?"

"Yeah."

Yumi nodded. She hadn't seen them for herself, but had heard about it from Noriko-chan.

"Yeah, you say. Can you really claim to be Touko-chan's onee-sama?"

Tsukasa-san seemed shocked as she spat that out.

"Huh?"

"Or is it that you think nothing of her because you didn't have to put in any effort to make her your petit soeur? So you don't care about what's happening to her when you can't see her."

It took Yumi a while to comprehend this quick-fire stream of condemnation. She barely managed to deny the final statement that lingered in her ears.

"It's not that I don't care about her."

"In the first place, how do you feel about her?"

No matter how you look at it, those words were meant to be an attack on Yumi. Yet for some reason Tsukasa-san wore an expression suggesting that she was the one being attacked. Of course, this was different from questions such as "What do you mean?" or "What's wrong?" that her classmates would ask innocently.

"Hey, you. About Touko – "

Normally Yumi could be quite thick-headed, but for some reason she realized what was happening. Even though she had snapped back, Tsukasa-san's conduct was still considerably more impolite. Tsukasa-san looked away, her face reddening as though with anger.

"I like her. That's why I asked her. 'Please be my petit soeur.' But don't worry, she turned me down straight away."

"…"

It would probably be inappropriate to say 'sorry' at this point. Even so, Yumi couldn't think of anything appropriate to say, and silently watched Tsukasa-san.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time. I knew that Touko-chan liked you, but I've been wondering what you thought of her. It's obvious you don't hate her, since you gave her your rosary. So, then, how much do you like her? About half as much as I do? If only there were some scale on which you could measure love, I'd like to see that."

There was no way to answer the question, 'How much do you like her?' Should she hold her hands wide apart and say, 'This much,' or perhaps use the expression 'Taller than Mt Fuji,' or, even, 'Bigger than a galaxy.'

Feelings of love dwell within a person's heart and they're impossible to extract, so there's no way of measuring them. They're not restricted to the span of someone's arms, or the size of a galaxy.

"Didn't you only become soeurs because she asked to be your petit soeur during the Valentine's Day event?"

Tsukasa-san's gaze skewered Yumi.

"Answer me."

Yumi thought about how to answer that question, and firmed her resolve.

Yumi thought, 'This is a stage.' There were only two characters in this play. At some point, she had strayed onto a stage from which she couldn't escape.

I'm not an actress, but I'm not going to use that as an excuse to run away. To be rude to this person who thinks so highly of Touko would also be to betray Touko.

"It's entirely possible that I became aware of my love for Touko some time after you did. It's also possible that if there were some way to measure the scale of our affection, that I would lose out to you. But my feelings towards Touko are most definitely not superficial."

Words can be used to say anything. It doesn't make it true. That's what Tsukasa-san's eyes were saying.

"We became soeurs after she asked to be my petit soeur. There's no denying that. However, prior to that, I had already been turned down by her once."

"When?"

Tsukasa-san's eyes went wide.

"On the day of the second semester closing ceremony. It was an honorable defeat."

"You lie."

"I would never lie about this."

It was Yumi's war wound. But despite this, now that they were soeurs she became able to face that event. At the time, Yumi had taken so much damage that she didn't know what she should do. In refusing the offer, Touko had probably been hurt more than Yumi. It was Yumi's single most painful memory.

War wounds aren't something that you generally show to other people, much less use as a cover for a lie.

"I don't understand. Why would she turn you down?"

Yumi thought better of responding, since it was a question of Touko's feelings.

"So, you see, I was the one who asked her. And on Valentine's Day, Touko responded to my feelings. That's how I interpreted it."

However, Tsukasa-san wasn't about to accept that explanation.

"Even if you have liked Touko-chan for so long, why didn't you say anything? Instead of silently watching. You didn't consider that I might have been beating her?"

Now that the question had been asked, Yumi paused to consider it. And then she found the answer that most closely reflected what she felt in her heart.

"Because I trust Touko."

Probably. If anything happened, Touko would tell her about it.

She would seek assistance.

That Touko hadn't told Yumi about it didn't mean that it was something she couldn't tell her about, but that it was something that there was no need to tell her about.

"But, from now on, I think I'll be able to trust you as well."

Yumi smiled at Tsukasa-san. Looking closely at her hands, she had fresh scratches on her as well.

"Yumi-san … "

Tsukasa-san stood frozen in shock as she whispered this. Then, gradually, like ice melting, her face began to slacken. The mask fell, just for a moment, and her true face was visible beneath it.

"I was so annoyed whenever I saw you. I knew I might end up feeling miserable if I opened my mouth, but I couldn't stop myself. Finally, I said it."

Looking up at the sky, cursing her mistake.

"But, still. I knew I was going to say something one day. And even if I did end up feeling miserable, I would still have felt better about saying it. I was convinced I was right. So, I thought, why not have a go. But after actually saying it, I feel even worse. I'm such an idiot."

Tsukasa-san smiled after saying this. Instead, she had been shown how deep the bonds were between Yumi and Touko. Then she turned to Yumi.

Her prominent breasts, the strength behind her eyes, her short hair and those proud cheekbones – she had the appearance of a model posing for a photo.

"But I'm not going to lose either."

Her mask firmly back in place, Tsukasa-san spoke in a loud, resonant voice.

"I don't think the match is over just yet."

"Huh...?"

"Oh, don't make that face. I'm not about to snatch your cute petit soeur. But losing isn't in my nature. So now I'll just have to find something that you'll never be able to do."

Before Yumi even had a chance to ask, 'What?'

"I'll show Touko-chan how to sparkle on stage."

That was definitely something that Yumi wouldn't be able to do. Not just Yumi. It's possible that no-one she had met would be able to match it with Touko in that arena.

For Touko's sake. For the sake of making Touko sparkle, this girl was determined to go on stage. The only person who would be able to do that was, probably, this here Takagi Tsukasa.

(Geeze.)

Yumi thought, 'Which one of them was supposed to be selflessly devoted?'

Then, in her mind, Yumi said 'I'll leave it to you,' and bowed her head. Because if she said it out loud, the response would probably be, 'I'm not doing this for you.'

"Sorry for detaining you."

Tsukasa-san said, then turned her back once more. Turning towards the clubhouse she took a few steps forwards. She didn't lose her focus, even as she was walking away. She was still an actress.

When Yumi turned around and started walking towards the Rose Mansion, a voice called out to her from behind. Turning around, Tsukasa-san was standing in the clubhouse's entrance, looking at her.

"I've changed my mind about one thing."

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad there's no scale that can measure affection."

Smiling brightly, Tsukasa-san disappeared into the clubhouse.