Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai:Volume 2 Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The season is summer, a certain July Saturday when finals exams are just ahead.

That day, I was in the one room in our house that lacked air conditioning (that's my room) since morning, I was sitting in front of my desk in desperation - or rather, agony is closer.

"Gu.... Grr..."

Studying for exams like a high school 2nd year student... is of course not what I was doing.

"Gr... Gah..."

I was conquering the newly released eroge "Siscalypse" (full title needs translation).

"...dah!"

Click click clickclickclick! I am bashing away at the buttons of the USB controller attached to the laptop.

On the screen is a battle with two girls with weird outfits, jumping around wildly. Punches and kicks are flying about, a staff and a gun are being swung, occasionally a blindling light is shot out too while using up a gauge, a tentacle attack that covers the whole screen also appears, time gets stopped, tens of thousands of sisters are summoned, etc - you get the idea.

"Siscalypse" (full title needed) - fans have already shortened it to "Siscaly" - has a different feel to it than any other ADV (adventure game) that I have played.

Read text, pick choices and collect events of the little sister heroine to conquer - there's a part with those elements but the main focus of "Siscaly" is the development part and the battle part. At the start you take your chosen little sister character and develop (customise) her, raising parameters and memorizing special moves. You battle in 3D against girls that were inserted into the storyline and win - that's the Siscaly game system. Note that there's an online mode for duels over the internet.

With tens of thousands of players, the Siscaly server is said to be a best-seller. The world is so wrong. Just then,

"Ah!"

The electroshock conjurer little sister took a direct hit from the enemy little sister's tentacle attack and went flying to the edge of the screen. The health bar instantly dropped to zero and her clothes are torn and scattered.

Whap! Uwa- uwa- uwa-... (<-- echo)

Game over. The black-caped enemy little sister is looking down at my character in torn clothing.

"Go home now, you have an onii-chan too"

"Damn~, I lost to this one again! Isn't this overpowered? How am I meant to beat this?"

On hearing the fully voiced victory line which strangely pissed me off, I threw the controller aside and smacked down on the desk out of frustration. And then,

"Oh shit"

I suddenly snapped back to normal again. With the sensation of having just broken some hypnosis I grabbed my head. What the fuck am I doing...?

A 17-year old youngster concentrating on a little sister porn game since Saturday morning. That's how I, Kousaka Kyousuke, currently look. No, wait, no, this is all wrong.

I am an utterly ordinary high school boy, not an otaku.

There's a reason why I'm exclusively playing all these little sister porn games despite having a real little sister. There's nothing to hide, this game isn't mine - it's my sister's.

I have no choice but to do this because my sister forced me to with a "Do it" threat.

...no really, I'm not lying. I know it's extremely hard to believe but my little sister is an unbelievable girl who loves little sister porn games and watches anime for kids.

Yeah, that fateful day.

I discovered her secret hobby she was trying so hard to hide. Based on that, my sister requested life counseling after we'd been ignoring each other up until that point.

I didn't ask for it but I got flabbergasted at seeing her hobby, received a heap of verbal abuse, was forced into playing a porn game, got dragged into an offline meeting and then the tour around Akihabara...

I went through so much meaningless suffering. But anyway, through that our nearly conversation-less relationship had more than decades' worth of conversation injected into a few weeks.

It may have been only a little, but I got to understand a bit about my sister, who I hitherto didn't show the slightest interest in, and about otaku who I had been prejudiced against.

So I thought I ended that chapter of my life.

My sister made some otaku friends she could freely talk with and even the ultimate crisis of being discovered by our parents was overcome.

Father and mother both did not touch this topic after that, so from an external point of view, things returned to how they were before my sister's hobby was discovered. My father yelled "Do what you like" back then.

Those may have been words yelled out while being swept in the mood, but father is a person who will stick to his words no matter what.

He won't bring up the topic again just because time has passed.

That all happened in June and almost a month has passed since then.

So it's like that. There's nothing within the house that threatens my sister's hobby.

It may have ran longer than I expected, but this time for sure the Kousaka Kyousuke life counselling center will shut down.

Having been freed of all the annoying things, I can go back to a dry relationship with my sister and enjoy a relaxed and tranquil life again.

That was what I had thought.

"Ha-ah..."

I don't know why but my days went by while getting summoned by my little sister many times and being yelled at under the pretext of "life counselling".

Even just a few days ago I got this 'Siscaly' game shoved at me with the words "Just clear this quickly. No excuses." What am I supposed to make of this?

And how pathetic am I to loyally obey that order...

"A-ah, fuck this! I can't do it!"

I can't be asked anymore. This is the limit. Can you imagine how much of a burden there is for someone with a blood-related younger sister to play a little sister porn game? Maybe those guys out there who actually do have a younger sister might get it but... it's just too pitiful.

I kicked back my chair, strode towards my bed and let my body crash on it.

Paff (sound of crashing on bed). I blankly stare around my room. Table, bookshelf, wardrobe - an ordinary sized room with ample furniture. The japanese calendar on the wall indicates it is July.

Even I think this room has no character but I'm satisfied with that. Hurray for mediocrity. Viva, ordinary life.

That kind of relaxed and slow life is what suits me.

So anyway, let's stop with this stupid activity that doesn't suit my personality.

"I could do with some tea right now."

I left the room to dampen my throat that got dried up because of excitement.

Our house has two-story structure with my and my sister's rooms on the upper floor. After coming down the stairs, the entrance hall can be seen and the door to the living room is on the left.

My sister came into view once I entered the living room.

As if that was her default position, she was lying down on the sofa with her legs crossed and wearing shorts of minimal length. A comfortable outfit with an emphasis on the thighs, but there's no way I'll get moved by seeing my little sister's voluptuous form.

That's just how it is - you don't feel anything no matter how much of a knockout your little sister is.

For wearing such a bold outfit, my esteemed sisteri m o u t o - s a m a was chattering away on her cell phone. Seems she was talking with a friend from school.

"Ahaha, is that so~? Yea, so true..."

Once again I'm impressed with her theatrics.

(My sister has a public face and a hidden face. She uses them according to who she deals with so I've lately been able to sense who she's talking with based on her expressions and speech patterns.)

Brightly dyed hair, earrings on both ears, long fingernails smoothly painted and a comely face that's charismatic on its own accentuated with make-up - a mature look that you wouldn't think a middle schooler could have.

She's tall and all the bits that are meant to bulge out have already done so.

This amazingly refined girl is my little sister, Kousaka Kirino.

Currently age 14, she goes to the middle school in the local neighbourhood. She's active as a model in a teenage magazine, is the ace of the track team, was graded 5th out of the whole prefecture, etc - she's like a mutant. As an ordinary mortal of a brother, she pisses me off to no end.

"Ok, I'll be waiting~♡"

While listening to the faked voice of this super sisterimouto I passed by the sofa to take out some cold barley tea from the fridge. After draining my glass,

"Fu..."

This refreshing feeling trickling down my throat is to die for. This is the best when it's summer.

Now that I've no business anymore here, let's try to get away quickly.

I sneaked along the edge of the living room like an experienced thief.

But this effort was wasted when a voice called out when I grabbed the door knob.

"Hey"

The one word from that exceedingly cold voice.

"...What?"

I replied in a pissed tone without turning around.

Look at this. Our relationship is like this.

Kirino is muttering in a voice with no effort to hide the revulsion.

"...Did you do it?"

"...Eh? ...Do what?"

"As in... did you do that? I lent it to you recently... Do I have to spell everything out for you? Why are you such a dimwit?"

Hey, can you believe this? Is this really how a little sister should talk to her brother? This attitude is exactly how a noble deals with a servant. I turned my head and irritatedly spat out,

"Yeah, I did it. I was doing it just now."

"What? Really...? You were hiding in your room ever since morning on a weekend to play a porn game?"

"Wasn't it you who told me to do that?! Stop looking at me with that contemptuous glare! This is something to praise me for!"

"You are the splitting image of a porn gamer."

"That doesn't make me happy at all?!"

You're doing that on purpose aren't you? Of course you are, damn you!

Da-ah---! She... she... there's absolutely no cute side to her at all!

That fleeting smile I saw recently must have been my eyes deceiving me!

There's no way my sister could be cute.

Shit. I'm getting dizzy because of how pissed I am...

While I was staggering Kirino talked to me with her chin on the table,

"So? You've cleared the campaign mode at least once, right?"

"No... not yet..."

As I answered Kirino's gaze got filled with disappointment as she clicked her tongue,

"Hey I told you to clear it immediately?!"

"The enemy's just too strong I can't win... no wait! That's not it! I asked you a while ago too but why must I do that?! Besides, I've got an exam in front of me?!?"

"Flurrying around right before an exam is proof of being an idiot who doesn't do what should be done habitually."

"Grah..."

Sometimes she throws out a sound argument... she's so hard to deal with.

"Ok, that might be true, but!"

Regardless of that, I don't think it's right to be playing a porn game right before an exam.

Therefore explain to me why I should be playing that game right now, explain.

When I said that to Kirino,

"Reason? Didn't I tell you a while back?"

She majestically straightened her chest out and answered.

"Life counselling."

I don't get it. Isn't life counselling about listening to some worry and then giving help?

Why is there a need to conquer a porn game to solve my sister's worry?

Kirino explained it like this,

"The real point of this game is to take your game data from clearing the campaign and duelling with the little sister character you customised. If you don't finish it quickly we can't play versus mode. Why can't you figure out even that much?"

"Go do that with someone else!"

Online matches... was that what she said? There was such a mode? Well, I don't really get it but don't say such an outrageous request as if it's natural. Then what am I? I was going through all that suffering just so I can be her match partner? Fuck that.

"I can't win online. ...I'm not good at these fighting games."

"I'm really shit at them too! Our parents never buy us games so I've practically never played any game!"

"I know. That's why I lent it to you. Thank me."

I get it now. So you, you want to play with someone you can beat.

You want to duel. But you hate losing. You also hate opponents who take a handicap or go easy on you.

You want to win against someone playing seriously...

Grah~, what a selfish girl...

"A-Anyway, I gotta study for my exams so I don't have time to invest in games."

"Hmmm, so you're an idiot?"

Her mouth splits her face.

If there is such a talent as angering a big brother, this girl is a genius at it.

"If you don't have time then you just have to clear it post haste. If you really need it then I can teach you some pointers~, but not today because I'm busy too."

Are you even listening to me? I don't want to.

While my brow was knit tight, Kirino said to me,

"...Oh yeah, why not go see the FAQ site? I did go through the trouble of making the internet accessible from your room."

"...FAQ site?"

"Yeah. There's a site called 'Siscaly@wiki' which gives pretty detailed explanations. I went there too when I was clearing the campaign."

"What's an 'at wiki'?"

"What? Did you just get demented? I taught you, right?"

"Uhm... ah, ahh... you mean that."

Ok, yeah, that's it... So uh, to put it very simply a wiki is a webpage that users themselves can write and edit.

So this 'Siscaly@wiki" must be some site where people gather information on the game.

After getting her advice I started thinking 'maybe I should try a bit more?' I truly don't want to play little sister porn games but I also don't like leaving things half-finished. Plus if I only focus on the fighting aspect then that game is well... uhm... fun.

"Read the FAQ and spend all of tomorrow clearing everything. Got that?"

"......"

Why that arrogance?

"You deaf? I asked if you got that?"

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah... it's fine if I do it, I'll do it. Tomorrow right? I'll see how far I get."

Bah, can't be helped. While I was sighing while scrunching up my face, Kirino added,

"Oh, yeah. Almost forgot."

"Huh? What now?"

"My friends are coming over tomorrow so don't you dare come out of your room."

Wow, the gall of that...

But ok... that's within acceptable limits. I'm sure this kind of treatment towards older brothers is the same in any household when a little sister's friends are coming over. So tomorrow as ordered by her majestyimouto-sama, I'll be hiding in my room all day and...

Huh? Wait a sec...? Wait, wait wait waiiiiiiiit a minute...

"You... you... you're telling your brother to play porn games in his room while middle school girls are coming over to our house?"

"Yeah."

"What the fuck's up with that?! If I get found out this won't end merely at humiliation?!"

Having my little sister's friends discover me playing a porn game is beyond trauma level.

I might really want to suicide if that happens.

"If that happens, I'll be sure to treat you as a stranger for the rest of my life."

"This isn't about you getting humiliated!! Me, it's about me! If I get discovered I'll get disgraced to the point of suicide!"

Seeing me reject with all my strength, Kirino went "Mmm-" briefly before glancing at me.

"Can't you use headphones?"

"You just don't get it!"

This is why girls... Look I'm sure every teenage guy all over the country will agree with me - wearing headphones while secretly watching a video does not guarantee the dangers have been mitigated.

Of course if you block off the TV sound then the risk of being caught is reduced. However, your own sense of hearing also gets cut off so you can't detect the incoming parent ambush. This is why guys the world over have developed all sorts of techniques like only attaching the headset to one ear or...

Wait, this isn't the time for this discussion.

"My room can't even be locked! If my door happens to get opened then it's over right there! It's too dangerous!"

"... Yeah... I see. Well... think of something yourself."

Only then did Kirino get how dangerous my situation would be and started nodding her head with a serious face.

There just are these times when I can't tell whether she's innocent or stupid. And do you really insist on making me play that porn game? What 'think of something yourself'?

"Well anyway - since my friends will be coming over, if you're going to stay in the house then sit tight in your room."

"......"

Kirino is waving her hand as if she's shooing away a dog. Seems my sister absolutely dreads me meeting her friends... isn't that the same in any household?

So... ok. Fine. It pisses me off but that doesn't matter. This always happens.

I shrugged my shoulders and said,

"Fine then. Tomorrow? I just have to stay in my room as much as possible?"

"Yeah. Please make sure I don't get bothered. There'll be a lot of cute girls but if you talk to them I'll kill you. Don't even look at them, you'll get them dirty."

"Hey, you're treating a human like he's some germ! Isn't that going too far?"

I mean for goodness sake,

"I'm not interested at all in your friends."

"Humph, I really wonder about that."

She's still looking at me like I'm trash. I get goosebumps thinking lots of girls like this will be coming over.

Kirino's school friends are a group where only "those ladies way up there" gather.

Jewels who reek of glamour and sophistication. But Kirino's worries are so utterly wrong. I have no thoughts of approaching people living in completely different dimensions with my own two feet.

That was what I truly, honestly believed back then.

"...Damn that little bitch..."

And so I was back in my room with boiling blood.

A moment ago I had entertained the thought of napping after that drink but all my drowsiness disappeared after that exchange with my princess of a sister.

I sat at my desk and brought the laptop out of standby mode.

Hmm, so I just hit any key to bring it out of sleep, was it?

I was starting to get a little used to it after having borrowed it from Kirino so much.

"... Uhm."

Just then I felt something was slowly encroaching on me.

I hope that's just my imagination.

First, I opened the browser. (Hey I may be a troglodyte with computers but even I know what a browser is and how to use it. It's software to look at webpages right?) I thought I'd look at that 'Siscaly@wiki' that Kirino mentioned before. By the way, this is the first time I've opened the browser on this laptop.

"Ohh."

As soon as the browser started up, the first thing that was shown was a familiar site. It's the main screen of that otaku SNS site which Kirino registered at.

The main page showed the list of what communities and friends Kirino got involved with. Among the names were 'Saori' and 'Kuroneko' who I had met several days ago.

By the way, my sister's nickname was 'Kiririn@I just saw the image of a porn gamer'

... Damn her she just set that using her cell phone. What does she think human dignity is?

"... Bah"

There's no reason to stay here at my sister's personal page. Feels bad to be peeking into someone's private life.

I clicked on the search window at the top of the screen.

Uhm, what was it...? Oh yeah, Siscaly... swirly thing, space, wiki... enter.

So I found the 'Siscaly@wiki' quickly by searching like that.

On the left end of the screen there was a long list of menu titles (characters and special move names, etc). By clicking on one, the relevant information would be shown on the right side. A very simple page setup.

"... Woah shit, what's all this?"

I brandished my tongue at that oppressive quantity of information. The game has only been out for mere days and yet the FAQ information is this detailed...

Details of the game system are of course explained, campaign clearing strategies (includes video links) to a full chart of moves with attached explanations, customization strategies, rules for how parameters are raised, damage calculation formulae, even the ending list and the scenario flow charts... are all included. Though I don't really get it.

My extent of prior internet experience had been occasionally checking the weather forecast with a cell phone, so I was kinda looking down on how good this FAQ site would be.

There were guys who dove deep into the game right from day 1 who constantly updated this 'Siscaly@wiki' site and filled the database, so maybe this should be an obvious development.

But I think that just makes it even more amazing.

'We enjoy the same porn game' - with just that thought they made such an astonishing database.

I had the same 'that feeling' I got during last month's incident by looking at this site.

"...Hmmmph"

A bitter laugh seeped out of the corner of my mouth.

... Man, this is why otaku are... just how deep must you dig in before being satisfied?

But well, this is hot stuff. Though it has absolutely no benefit for society.

That just makes it even hotter.