Editing MaruMAːMini-novel:Thepricessmermaid2


===The Princess Maidmer and I  - part 2===




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Anyway, rumors tend to spread. And when that happens, people who hear the rumor tend to embellish it and ten becomes one hundred. I'm a good example of that.



Since soldiers respond in extreme ways in a battlefield, many tend to look for pleasure outside it. I too acted without restrain, and thought I should act the same in my private life. Perhaps this was caused in part by the bad example set by my subordinates, but for the most part it's because I wasn't accustomed to value my love life.

Even if I was such a boring man, I had women who were interested in me. If two people get along well<ref>This has a sexual double meaning , 'Get along well'  literally means 'ride well on your horse'. </ref>, they meet frequently. If they become close, they start to develop feelings. But since soldiers don't know what the future holds in a battlefield, a relationship with them doesn't last long.

Furthermore, since soldiers go from one place to another and have to follow orders that come without a warning as quickly as they can, sometimes they don't even have time for farewell words. That's why, knowing that the time to say goodbye was troublesome, I made sure not to develop any deep and meaningful relationships.

However, once that terrible war ended, I was stuck with the unpleasant title of 'Philanderer Prince'.

Couldn't they understand that since I didn't inherit my mother's name, I wasn't a prince?

They couldn't.

Even though I didn't have as many women as people said I did, just thinking that even Gwendal, my brother, could believe those rumors made me feel awful.

I looked away, sighed, and then I said the following to my older brother who I hadn't seen in a long time.

"You don't have to worry, even if I misbehaved with some married women somewhere, the situation is not so bad that it could cause older brother any problems."

"...... What?"

"Eh.... I thought that's why you wanted to get me to settle down quickly." 

An awkward silence followed.

Apparently that wasn't the reason why my older brother Lord von Voltaire Gwendal was there.

"Was I wrong? So, why are you here?"

"Because I want you to calm down."

To calm... down? Neither my father nor my teacher ever said something like that to me.

Could he had found out about some of the scandalous things I did on Earth and be angry about it? Or is it about that time I fought one on one with a tiger in the jungle? Or that time that I forced that crocodile's mouth open with all my strength? But older brother, it was part of the CIRCUS PROGRAM, I wasn't in any real danger...

"Is this about that time I had a malfunction with my CLOWN outfit?"

"What's a CLOWN? Is it a man?"

As he gave the conditioned reply that our youngest brother uses, Gwendal put the book on the desk and entwined his fingers on his lap.

"Look, I don't care about that cloclown. Because it's not something I want to hear about. The reason why I want you to calm down is because of the way you lead your life, that's it."

I wonder if he found out about my habit of walking around with wet hair. It can't be helped, I guess I'll have to change that after tonight. However I was not expecting to hear from Lord von Voltaire the words that followed.

"After you somehow managed to survive that long war, all you did was leave the country. When I said you resembled your father, I didn't mean just your face and voice, but that you're mimicking his way of life, and the only thing you do is up and leave on trips for whatever reason. I don't know if it's to do inspections, pleasure trips, or journeys of self-discovery."

"Ah, well..."

"I didn't butt in when you were asked to do something in Shinou's Mausoleum, but even after you were released from that task you did not stay in the country. What explanation do you have for that?"

I most certainly couldn't refuse travelling through many countries in order to serve the future Maou. But Gwendal, who didn't know about it, was talking in a preaching tone. So he continued scolding me in a nice voice, two, no, three times.

"Although I have retired from the military service, I have done a lot of things for this country. And actually I'm always short handed. As you know, the power that was taken away from Stuffel is now equally shared and this is the most important time to lead the country in the direction that it was naturally supposed to take."

"Huh?"

Of course I already knew that. And besides, the one who had managed to achieve that was no other than my oldest brother who was standing before me. However at that moment, I failed to see how a match-making party was relevant to anything he was saying. But Gwendal was thinking about deeper layers, so he cleared his throat to continue.

"I'm saying that I need more people I can trust in regards to political affairs."

"Yeah, of course... wait! No way, are you asking me to take a major role in politics?"

"Would that displease you?"

"Wait, what kind of joke is this? Gwen, older brother, you know this, right? What I can do is pretty much fight and nothing else... Of course brute force is useful in the battlefield, and if we, the mazoku, were ever to fall into a crisis in the future... I shouldn't need to say this, but I'd become Shin Makoku's arrow, its sword. In order to stop the enemy, I'd be proud to be used as a shield. But during times of peace, at best I could be used as a bodyguard, and in that regard Gurrier could do my job as good, no, even better than I could."

"Gurrier has shown me what he can do, so I know very well what his abilities are. But I will always want capable people to work with me. People who are respected in the military are important in particular."

"Gwendal, you overestimate me."

The strength in my shoulders left me and my arms that were resting on my elbows became heavy. I felt like holding my head.

"But... why were you talking about a match-making party?"

"Because, if you got married then you would stay in the country. And if you were to go somewhere, then you would surely return."

"That's the reason...?"

I wanted to ask someone for suggestions on how to reply.

Immediately after saying that I resembled my father, he said that I would settle down in the country if I had a home to return to. There's no way that he wouldn't know that Dunheely Weller, even after marrying my mom, Lady von Spitzberg, didn't change his ways, right?

And when I say he didn't change, I mean he didn't change at all.

He only spend a somewhat long time with his wife and children for the first couple of years; but before long he was back to being his old self, living his life on the road. In the end, he ran away from the castle with his young son<ref>This word also means kidnap.</ref>. Thanks to that, I ended up being dragged around to unsafe locations.

Of course, me as his son, had fun spending every day with my father, so I don't think that that was a bad life. But thinking that a man will completely change after getting married is a big mistake.

If I resemble my father, then that means that I will walk the same road he walked. I don't think that marriage would turn me into the 'calm' person he wishes me to be. But to tell me 'let's have a match-making party for you', what kind of joke is that?

"If you keep talking about marriage and marriage, then...."

... start talking about yourself first. In regards to this topic older brother should go first, no I mean you (omae) should go first, no I mean you (anata) should go first and bite the bullet. But since the only person interested is Lady von Karbelnikoff Anissina, I felt sorry for him and didn't say anything.

Because it will take serious resolution on his behalf for that to happen.

Without caring about my sagging shoulders, Gwendal continued.

"There are already quite a few people who are interested but... before that I had someone write a personal history card to give to the other parties."

"Personal history card? Ah, like a self-introduction card, you mean? And what does it say?"





Lord Weller Conrad

Brave war veteran. He saved our country from the danger posed by Shimaron soldiers in the last war. Liked by women, children, and animals; his subordinates also trust him deeply. He has mastered every type of weapon everywhere, but is especially good with swords. When it comes to long-swords, he's the best in Shin Makoku and one of the very best in the entire world.
He possesses amber-like brown and silver eyes filled with a melancholic beauty.
There's a scar on his right eyebrow. 
As the second son of the current Maou he was born a prince, but he doesn't care about his status and likes to get acquainted with anyone. He's very popular among the working class. 
The kindness he offers to the weak is like a spring breeze, and his refreshing smile, like sunshine filtering through the foliage in early summer.





What the heck was that?

"Who's that?"

"It says the name at the beginning. It's you, Conrad."

I didn't have any words to reply. Although impolite, I just stared long and hard at him, and then did the same with the thin paper that I was holding in my hand with my mouth half opened. Who in the world gave him this personal history card describing a hero like the one in a maiden's dream?

"Who wrote this? Mother? Or was it Lady von Karbelnikoff.... no, it doesn't sound like her."

Gwendal's face showed disappointment right away. Shit, did he write it himself?

"Ah... Uhm... Any woman would love to read such a wonderful personal history card, you know? But Gwen, I'm sorry but I... ah!"

We heard what seemed to be a woman screaming, and we both looked up at the same time.

It was heaven-sent help, for I didn't know what to do anymore. On earth they would call this GOOD TIMING.

"Was that a scream? Was it a maid?"

"There aren't any young ladies in this house. I think it might have been the old house-sitter. "

The commotion was coming from my room. As I went upstairs quickly, I realized that the matter about a match-making party was left unsettled, and that secretly, deep in my heart that's not what I wanted.








Sure enough, it was the house-sitter who was screaming.

He was pale and was standing before the slightly opened door, without even stepping foot into my room. 

"What happened?"

He didn't answer my question and simply pointed to my room. When I looked through the gap left between the door and the wall, I saw the legs of a beautiful woman. 

"You let a woman into my room?"

"Nooooooooooooo, I've only ever let Josak-san go into your room"

The person who reacted to that statement wasn't me, the owner of the room, but Gwendal, who was standing behind me.

"Which means that that is Gurrier?"

Although his expression didn't change, his dominant hand was clutching tightly the fabric of the clothes covering his chest, proving he was upset.

"No way... Conrad... You and Josak....?"

Wait a sec! This misunderstanding is outrageous! I had just said goodbye to Josak. However in an instant, Gwendal's imagination had turned destructive and he quickly started to back away one step at the time.

"I, didn't think, that you, would be interested in people of all ranks<ref>All ranks was a euphemism for women AND men.</ref>, but, oh, I see, this is why you weren't interested in the match-making party."

"You're wrong, I swear I'm innocent regarding this matter!"

"So you're saying that there are another matters that you aren't innocent of?"

"No, c'mon! Regarding anything that points in that direction, I'm completely innocent, absolutely innocent!"<ref>Lots of metaphors but Conrad's saying: I'm not fucking Josak! Gwen replies: Aha! But you're fucking other guys? Conrad says: No, I'm not fucking guys at all!</ref>

"So, you, really, invited, a married woman, into your room..."

"Why do you keep coming up with ideas that point in bad directions! Stop saying married women, or widows. And please stop walking backwards, watch it! The stairs!"

He was one step away from the stairs.

"Believe me, Gwen."

As the old house sitter noticed he started to relax, he added in a hurry.

"Your excellency, Conrad-sama didn't bring Josak-san or a married woman here. There isn't supposed to be anyone in his room!"

Then who's there? Is it an intruder? Thinking that was the case, Gwendal who had overcome his depression and me who was eager to find out what was there stepped into the room.

We slammed the door open and it hit the wall, so that we could see who those legs I saw through the gap belonged to.

But what we saw was something no one could have guessed. The two legs were coming from the tub that was placed in front of the other door at the back of the room. 

"This...."

Rather than calling it a tub, I should call it a washbasin to bathe kids. Two long, beautiful legs were growing out of the shallow water container. No, I shouldn't say that they were growing out of the container. There was an actual body they were attached to. But the body wasn't human.

It was a silver, sparkling, shiny body. No matter how you looked at it, this was a large marine creature. In short, the body was that of a fish and it had human legs that were very beautiful. 

"This is a ...."

Under the partly covered in water, relaxed fish, I could see the yellow blanket, absolutely drenched. It was the 'luggage' I was given before, that was tightly wrapped in a blanket.

Which means that the long package that I was carrying so carefully had a big fish with splendid legs in it? I can't believe this! Usually someone would notice something like that. How did I not noticed that there was a big living fish in the blankets after seeing the movement and something shiny? 

Inside my mind, I cursed my own stupidity: FUCK, SHIT, BULLSHIT!<ref>These words were in English so that's precisely what he thought. </ref>

Since using mazoku words would have sounded too vulgar, I tried using curse words from earth. In that way it sounded less impolite.

"It's an individual of the fish people tribe."

"Huh?"

Gwendal approached it looking excited. In regards to encountering an unknown creature, he acted differently from me who was cautious, or from the old man who couldn't stop crying.

"Going by its shape one would think it's a manmer lord, or a manmer king, but because it has such beautiful legs, it must be a maidmer princess. Although they migrate freely through the open ocean, no matter how you look at it, they are really mazoku citizens."

"What? Even though they belong to a completely different species?"

"Don't you know this? They fought against the soushus accomplishing great achievements in the naval battles. This is also written in history books."

"Ahh... yeah I think I've read about that somewhere. But there were no illustrations to go along with it."

Perhaps they thought it would be best if only few people knew that we have associates who looked like that. Rather than calling them mazoku, they look more like rare animals. So, how did Gwendal know what they looked like?

"I found them in an animal list."

"Ehhhh, you're reading a really cute book, huh?"

Because of special circumstances, he was about to make up an excuse saying that he didn't only like cute things, but it was too late. Born from a mother that likes beautiful things and a father that liked strong and tough things, Gwendal didn't take after either of them and ended up becoming a person that likes small and cute things.

But the maidmer princess before my eyes, was neither small nor cute. To my surprise, it seemed that he was also interested in rare animals. He approached the tub with great interest and bent over to inspect it. 

But, wait. Didn't he just say that this fish person was a woman, a princess? Was it okay for him to take such a rude attitude towards her, as one would do towards any other animal?

"Uhm, Gwen? Could you please not stare at her like that? Although she's a fish person, she's still a lady you know?"

In an instant my older brother raised his startled face, staring long and hard at me with his deep blue eyes. Once again, that expression of having misunderstood something appeared on his face.

"No way, Conrad..."

How many times had I heard the words 'no way' from Lord von Voltaire that night? Furthermore, he used it in regards to someone else's affairs. His lips were trembling so it was likely that this misunderstanding would once again start a problem.

"The fact that you brought this fish person to your bedroom.... Conrad, are you and this fish.... no I mean, princess dating?"

"Da-ting, you say?"

"Is this why you weren't interested in the match-making party?"

Just because she's in my room he thinks I'm dating her. My brother is so naive. But in that moment, I had an idea. Could I survive this by taking advantage of the misunderstanding?

If I said that the maidmer princess and I were dating (just saying it made my back itchy), and word got out, and her relatives and friends started talking about the person she was dating, would I be able to turn her down without hurting her?

I felt a little sorry for the maidmer princess, but if I were to explain everything to her later, I'm sure she would understand. Explain.... how would I do that? I mean, do marine mazoku understand words? Or rather, how much intelligence do they actually possess?

But that wasn't the time to compare the intelligence of fish to that of a three-year old. Lord von Voltaire was staring at me. The old house-sitter was shaken up. The maidmer princess was graciously taking a bath. Crap, although it was a big fish with beautiful legs, somehow I was thinking of her as a gracious creature.

I remembered then, that on Earth, the place where I had left Yuuri, there was a princess that resembled this marine creature. Although it was a character of a story, children would call it a mermaid. Her lower body was that of a fish, her upper body, that of a human... ah, no! It's completely different! This girl is the exact opposite of that.

Before me, the maidmer princess with her beautiful legs crossed, sparkled like a bonito, but its sliminess and size looked more like another fish loved by Japanese people. If I recall correctly its name was....

"Ah, Tuna-chan!"

"Tuna-chan!? Not Lady Tuna or Ms. Tuna, but Tuna-chan!? You already have that kind of relationship!?"

My olden brother had broken.

When I said the name of the animal, he believed that I was saying a person's name. What's the problem with adding 'chan' after a name? I wonder what kind of criteria you have to fullfill when dating someone in the Voltaire territory. But the color of his face had change and his hair stood up like that of an angry cat or an upset Günter. It seems that he was completely sure that the maidmer princess and I had a really close relationship, although I never said a single word about that.

"Are you getting married? You and that maidmer princess, are you planning on getting married?"

"It's way too soon to talk about something like that older brother. Right, Tuna-chan?"

When I thought I heard a splashing 'pichi-pichi' sound, I noticed that the maidmer princess was hitting the edge of the tub. I was surprised, was she gesturing something? The rumors were exaggerated and the maidmer princess had pectoral fins<ref>I knew she'd do this! Ever since part one she's been saying 'the rumor has been exaggerated' by using the unusual phrase 'the rumor has a tail fin'. So the rumor has a tail fin and the maidmer princess has a pectoral fin. </ref>. But neither Gwendal nor I could tell if those were splashes of joy or outrage.

However at that point, I was sure that she could understand words, or at least, read the air. I knew it, fish and shellfish aren't just brave, they're also very intelligent. At this point I was grateful that I could interpret her movements in a positive way.

"As you can imagine, I'll have to turn down the matchmaking party, but we still don't have that kind of relationship..."

"Before talking about marriage... wait a momeeeent!"

That's why I said that I wasn't thinking about marriage! But it seems that this person didn't listen all the way through and jumped to a conclusion. While wondering who this man with a high pitched voiced that made the remark was, I noticed it was one of the women that Josak had introduced me to. It was a man who was violating the transvestite prohibition law and who had the maidmer princess with him. 

The he that used to be a she was at the door grabbing the gatekeeper by the neck, who was dangling in a really uncool way.








Back then, he had been violating the transvestite prohibition law, wearing female clothes, but now, he was wearing average guy clothes.

Although he was still tying his not-long-enough hair in the back, and while he still looked plain, now that his face was clean, you could see his male features. However, his librarian or accountant vibe had not changed. It was because this guy had pressed that yellow luggage against me, that there was now a maidmer princess relaxing in the tub right in front of me. By the way, I wonder how he managed to make those beautiful legs fit inside the blanket. Where her knees folded?

The maidmer princess had no arms. Instead she had fins, but with them she probably couldn't even scratch her back. Having said this, and even though she didn't have any fingers or vocal cords, she could do a brilliant job making herself understood. Furthermore, it was amazing that even though she was basically a fish, she was strong enough to stay alive inside a wet blanket or a tub, even if she was on land.

As I was fascinated with the maidmer princess's sparkling bare skin (of course, NO MAKE-UP), I muttered:

"Such mysterious creatures really exist."

"Please stop it what are you saying don't make her a part of such scandalous thoughts."

He uttered a quick protest. He was just a young soldier who worked as a librarian. Now that he looked like a young man again, I noticed that he was younger than Josak and I. He was just a common soldier with a decent career. Honestly I was surprised that he was a librarian, but I was just as surprised by the words he uttered as he entered the room.

For example, those remarks about scandalous thoughts.

"What? What scandalous things are you talking about we haven't done anything..."

"Didn't you just call her mysterious and beautiful?"

"Conrad."

With his arms crossed before his chest, Gwendal said in a low, bitter voice.

"... Stop it."

"Wait, I haven't said she's beautiful."

"So you're saying that my princess-chan is not beautiful, huh?"

"Of course not! I think that that smoky skin and those smooth features are beautiful. While seeking functionality, such natural shapes possess a beauty that can never be replicated by humans."

Gwen cleared his throat unnaturally and the librarian sighed in an exaggerated manner. Goof grief, when I first met him in Josak's tavern I wouldn't have guessed he had this type of personality. I thought he was a more humble, calm, modest girl.... cut it out you! If you couldn't even tell his gender correctly how could you have guessed what his personality was like?

It had been a while since the old man had ran away, so there were three people and one creature in my room. The three men were surrounding the maidmer princess in the tub. If someone who didn't know what was going on would have seen this, they would have thought they were looking at a little HAREM. Three men who were there to serve one woman. Wait, since on earth a HAREM is something that kings have and include women, wouldn't it be best to call it a reverse harem?

Reverse ha-, it echoed around the corners of my existence.

According to the librarian, the maidmer princess had come ashore the previous night and had pretty much spent an entire day wrapped in blankets that he would replenish with water. Is freshwater good for mazokus who live in salt water? When I asked if there were also freshwater mazokus, a grumpy Gwendal replied "Those would be the kotsugyou".

It seems that I need to read that list of animals right away.

"At any rate, I will return princess-chan. If all of this is true, we have to stop playing with her and return her to the ocean. Since I couldn't ask Gurrier-san to help me, I pushed her against Excellency Conrad, but it was only meant to be for a moment as I ran away."

"You know Gurrier... and Conrad..."

The librarian and Gwendal exchanged looks. The following words were easy to predict.

"Have you no pride as a man? I knew it..."  

"I told you I'm innocent!" (Conrad)

"Lies! No matter how amazing a man is, I won't forgive such a lie. An innocent person wouldn't be thinking about marriage with princess-chan right after meeting her!"

"That's why I said that our relationship hasn't gotten to that...."

"So you're saying that even though you weren't thinking about marriage you already had such scandalous thoughts!?"

"I haven't done any scandalous things with Tuna-chan, not a single one..."

"While saying such things you keep calling her Tuna-chan! What the heck does that mean Conrad, no Lord Weller!?"

"Uhhh...."

"At any rate I have no intentions of leaving this place without princess-chan. Back then, I only asked you for help because I had to escape, it was only supposed to be a moment."

"Escape? Escape, you said? Who were you escaping from? Did you bastards, even though you're soldiers do something against rules?"

"If you don't want to lose your talented subordinate, you shouldn't pursue this matter older brother."

"Was Gurrier involved too?"

I was rather tired of trying to clarify things.

I mean, why was I being blamed for everything here? It was Gwendal who had suddenly started talking about marriage, and as for Tuna-chan, it's not like I had stolen her or anything. Didn't the librarian push her against me without my permission?

"However..."

Lord von Voltaire growled with his arms still crossed.

"If his feelings for the maidmer princess are true, I can't possibly agree with what you said before"

"What do you mean?"

"First, she needs to get used to life on the surface, then we can formally announce her as Lord Weller's fiancee."

"You, you can't do that!"

"Why? Do you dislike the idea of having a family?"

"Of course not! That's not the reason but..."

The librarian used his hand to make sure there weren't any hairs out of place. What a nervous man.

"To be honest, princess-chan came to the surface searching for her father. In order to look for her father who had fallen in love with a woman that he chased to the surface, she relied on my family. I come from a family of fishers and we had captured princess-chan many times in our nets, and that's how we became friends."

"He was chasing after a woman?"

"That's right. It seems that her widowed father fell madly in love one night, when he saw the two breasts, like moons, of a beautiful woman."

"Wow, comparing the moon to two breasts that sounds quite poetic. It seems that its not just the kotsuhizoku, but the manmer lords as well, who are good at poetry."

The word 'moon' is a simple word that can easily be manipulated to mean other things. The truth is that this is simply a story about a fish that liked big breasts. But Lord von Voltaire was completely entangled in the yarn. Because he's weak against good stories.

"Riiight? Both princess-chan and her father are poets. I want to take advantage of my position as a librarian and compile fish people tribe's poems. Of course, I want to do the same with the kotsuhizoku and kotsuchizoku. But first I have to help princess-chan find her father."

"But we don't intend to stay quiet while the lady goes home. Because if I don't settle the marriage of Lord Weller, I'll get critizised by my mother."

I knew it, the mastermind behind all of this is that person!

I didn't think that my stubborn older brother would take the initiative to interfere in his younger brother's love problems. As expected, all of this happened because mother was pulling the strings.

She must have also brought up the matter of my war story in order to incite Lord von Voltaire to do this. I bet mother thought: 'We have to find him a lover as soon as possible! We can't just leave him single and alone like that!'

While I looked up at the ceiling without paying attention, the conversation continued as they forgot about the actual person they were talking about.

"But princess-chan came to the surface only last night. Don't you think it's weird that Excellency Conrad has already fallen in love?"

"But if Lord Weller really has feelings for the maidmer princess, it can't be helped, right?"

"But it's strange. I mean if only princess-chan and his excellency would have known each other a bit longer."

"It doesn't matter if they've known each other for a little while or ten years, the result would still be the same. If Conrad has fallen in love, I am here to accept the maidmer princess into the family as my sister-in-law."

"Isn't this oppression of the nobility!?"

"Wait, wait a moment you two."

This is bad, if this issue about a marriage that I don't want continues like this, and I don't explain how I feel , it could result in a dispute. Furthermore, the opponents would be a heavyweight in this country and librarian cadet. Like a battle in an unidentified tavern. 

Anyways, while trying to stop the altercation, I stood between the two.

"Listen! For a man and a woman..."

Their eyes were piercing me through.

"it's Argentina to fall in love at first sight<ref>The phrase is "It's hard for a man and a woman to fall in love at first sight". But he replaces the 'hard to do' part with Argentina. </ref>!"




Time stopped.






"Ah , of course I think this applies to same-sex couples too."

Both of them suddenly turned their faces away from me.

Hurrah! Was this, a big success? No, even though I interrupted the argument for a moment, the room's vibe didn't improve. And I could tell because no one was laughing, in fact it had gotten a little chilly in there.

In fact, just now, in a moment, I remembered the teachings of someone who I had met on Earth.

To calm people down, you should use a JOKE, Conrad.
That's why I remember a few good AMERICAN JOKES.
If by any chance during a business meeting I feel some bad vibes, I say this:

"Is that hat Germany? Holland!"
(Whose hat is this? It's mine!)

Honestly, I didn't understand how it was funny and judging by the geographical names I couldn't see how they were AMERICAN JOKES, shouldn't they be called EUROPEAN JOKES? So I just tilted my head.

But the person telling the joke thought it was hilarious and held his stomach as he laughed. Unlike me, who was only good in the battlefield, this man was skilled in negotiation.

A man who has time and again been part of meetings where the economic fate of an entire nation is decided, couldn't be wrong. So before I returned to this world, I decided to learn that skill.

I was certain that it would come in handy in the near future.

And the opportunity to show off my skills had come quickly. Even if I had failed my DEATH strategy while throwing my poison dart once, I had to keep trying to improve the vibes.

"Time doesn't NASI GORENG<ref>Originally: " Time doesn't matter" . He replaced 'doesn't' with 'Nasi goreng', the name of a Malasian dish.</ref>!"

All right! Let's do this!

"You don't need a DOLPHIN POOL to love<ref>Originally: "You don't need a reason to love" he changed "don't need" for "dolphin pool".</ref>."

Rapid-fire!

"They say that when your horse is NOTTINGHAM, and your meals are LAKE KUSSHARO, people are SOY MILK, right<ref>No clue.</ref>?"

How about if I try the same joke one more time!?

"Like I said, it's Argentina to fall in love at first sight!"





I felt like space and time had distorted.





I thought that... my AMERICAN JOKES, my JAPANESE 'joke dads' would... but they paid off. I had completely stopped the fight between the heavyweight and the librarian. Although after having lost the fight against both of them, I felt dejected. Halfway through I started thinking they were a little difficult, but my opponents are both fine adults. Since they're not children anymore, I used terms that adults use.

But what should I do! I didn't even get partial laughters. Perhaps Gwendal is desperately trying to maintain his honor and the librarian is holding back because he doesn't want to laugh in front of a heavyweight? You don't need to hold back, on Earth even the guy telling the joke bursts into laughter.

Ah... I'm telling the joke. Should I laugh at my own jokes then? 

"Ahah..."

But as I was laughing awkwardly, I heard the sound of a fierce impact.

The sound of a wet plank hitting something.

"Tuna-chan!"

The maidmer princess was fiercely hitting the tub with her wet fins. The same thing she had done before.

The librarian was stunned, and muttered:

"I- I can't believe this. Princess-chan, are you happy?"

"Happy? Is this her laughter?"

Once again, I heard her hit the tub. This time, even I could understand what she meant. She liked it and she was clapping.

"You wanna hear more, Tuna-chan? What happens to the ground when an earthquake comes?  Grand Canyon<ref>It should be 'it breaks' instead of Grand Canyon.</ref>!"

Pichi-pichi-pichi-pichi

"My Calcutta gets better when I see you smile<ref>Originally: "My mood gets better when I see you smile."</ref>."

Pichi-pichi-pichi-pichi

Goodness! What an amazing woman!





㋮ 			㋮ 			㋮





"After that I started telling AMERICAN JOKES and JAPANESE joke dads one after another... oh, no! It's not 'joke dads' but 'dad jokes' in Japanese, right?... Your Majesty?"

That's when I felt something heavy on my shoulder. Yuuri, who was sitting next to me had doze off and laid his head on my shoulder.

If I was riding the subway, I wouldn't let this careless child ride alone. It's not like I could ever ask him to stop such dangerous behavior, but this has become a common sight in Japanese subways.

Even if it's only a ten minute ride, they'll end up sleeping on the shoulder of a stranger sitting besides them. Something like that can only happen during times of peace.

Suddenly, I remembered that sense of security I felt when the maidmer princess was looking at me.

It was really a nice feeling.

"Yuuri, when did you fall asleep? How much did you hear of it?"

While I talked, I brushed his bangs, but even so, he didn't wake up. His eyes were tightly shut and his body trembled and moved along with his breaths as he slept.

What? Don't tell me your having a dream?

Yuuri was belly breathing, in other words, breathing with his mouth open. 

"Someday, when you get a girlfriend, you make sure to properly introduce yourself to her family. Ah, or maybe right now your head is full of baseball and matters regarding this country, and you're not interested in girls... But what a problem. This means that one day, I will have to tell you once again the story about me and the maidmer princess."

But there's one more problem. If I continue like this, we won't be able to move for the rest of eternity. But if I were to compare this happy problem with the disaster that had happened back then, this was as trivial and light as a dandelion's fluff. 













The rain continued to hit the outside of the window.

It really felt like something was clapping, as the raindrops hit the window and roof.





 




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==References ==
<references/>