Editing MaruMA:StarWars

===Lame Star Wars - The last Era(*0)===
By Takabayashi Tomo

There is a castle that no one dares to step inside, on a mountain surrounded by ominous air.

No one knew when the castle was constructed , but it was said that a family with darkness in their blood lived there. The head of the clan was a vampire king, and there were rumors that all the girls in the village would from time to time, say that such man would feed off them.

Yuuri's wife, too, went to the mountain from the city, looking for matsutake mushrooms, and hasn't returned. Although this situation is a bit impossible because he does not know what kind of mushrooms a matsutake is..... at any rate, Yuuri is going to put a silver bullet in the heart of the vampire to rescue his captured wife. He's riding alone towards the old castle, where the vampire king lives.

Setting, over.






Even though it looked like a gigantic stone wall as tall as a dam, once inside, I realized it was an old castle. The ceiling of a long corridor was wonderfully decorated, and on the wall there were several paintings depicting the landscape of a valley. That was all that was visible with the light of the torch.

However it was so quiet, that there wasn't any sign of any living people nearby. And although the stone corridor is so wide, it's cold and has no moving creatures around it.

"Wolfram"

I called out in a low voice while opening every door I encountered. However, no matter how many rooms I looked into, I could not find him.

This is all my fault. I heard that the climate was good and brought my family to this place without knowing about the scary legends.

"Wolf!"

And then, when I had opened more than ten doors, I noticed something different the moment I opened it a few centimeters. A dim light leaked first, and then I felt the touch of slightly warmed air. I called his name again and slammed the door open.

There was fire in the fireplace, and the flames were illuminating the inside of the room. In the middle, a large bed with a canopy frame. And on it, a person with their head down.

"Are you all right Wolfram!?"

I knew him right away, as the flames reflected on his blonde hair making it look like it was burning.

"Yuuri"

But when looking up, Wolfram's face seemed to be trying to stop me. His emerald green pupil I'm so used to, wavered with unease.

"Don't, don't come near."

"Wh~y!? I finally fo~und you, I came to sa~ve you"@

"....I don't think I can hug you."

When I understood the meaning of his words, I instinctively stopped. Even though if I would have stretched out my hand, I'd had reached him.

"It can't be..."

"I don't know when it will happen...."

I didn't want to believe it, or rather I tried desperately not to think about it, so I wouldn't have to admit it, but... I was able to predict what would happen. Wolfram covered his face with both hands. I continued to approach him and gently lifted the golden hair on his neck. I could only see a scratch then, but there was no doubt about it. 

He had been turned by that guy.

"I wonder if it's true... if when a vampire bites you you turn into a vampire as well"

"It's true. You can't see anyone in the castle right now, but the first night I was here, I saw a ghostly looking woman wander about. Perhaps they're sleeping in the basement. That's why, tonight... I'm sure .... that I too...."

His ankle peeking from under his white night clothes trembled.

"So don't come near me! I don't know when I'll change and attack you."

"It'll be okay, Wolfram, it'll be fine. I will figure something out. Besides it's not night time. You can't tell because there aren't any windows here, but it's still light."

I hugged him tightly through the thin clothes I was wearing. Although it had only been a few days since I had last seen him, I felt his shoulders to be a little thinner. Because I had only ever seen him with a strong will, I didn't know how to cheer him up in a time like this. 

But even I, wouldn't come unarmed to enemy territory. On my waist I was carrying a gun with silver bullets.

"It will be okay, Wolf. I'm sure that if the Vampire King dies, the people he's changed would turn back to normal. I will figure something out. You wait here"

"You mustn't Yuuri. I can't let you do something so dangerous as fighting that guy. Forget about me, run away and save yourself"

"Escape?"

After I had caused him to be captured and put in this status?

"There's no way I can do that!"

"Yuuri!"

The weapon I was carrying suddenly felt heavier.

"Because you said to me... If we fall, we fall together, didn't you?"

There's no way I could ever leave you.






The man they called the vampire king, wasn't, as rumored in the village a mysterious old man. He's not a bloodless devil with a red face either. Furthermore, the only thing I can see, is a refreshing kind smile. 

"Conrad, no, Weller.... Ou" (King Weller)(*1)

"Even though you're so young..."

He couldn't help give a sympathy smile.

".. someone is forcing onto you the dangerous job of killing me"

"No one is forcing me to do this, I came here of my own accord.@To save a prisoner of yours"

The king wasn't sitting on an altar nor a throne, but on a regular chair. And by a table that by no means resemble those that nobles sit down to eat. There are ten seats, but no one else is there. In other words, no guards.

There are no obstacles between him and me. Although it was very cold, I carefully take out the dangerous item, and aim a gun with silver bullets at him.

Conrad doesn't seem to be moving. I should have guessed.

"Generally this weapon is effective against werewolves, right? But for vampires you have to stick a stake through their hearts while they're sleeping."

"Uh-huh"

In a moment, the gun became a mere blunt weapon. Even if I hit him with this, I don't think it will affect him.

"Besides, instead of fighting me with erroneous knowledge, it would be better if you just attack me with the objects in front of you. You're not thinking straight, aren't you"

And while saying that with a hand gestured, he urged me to take a place at the table without guests.

"Come here"

Without sitting I grabbed a silver knife.

"A strike will do "

And so he approached his body to the dull knife.

"A strike to the heart that once felt trust and friendship"

My fingers, wrist and arm, shook as if there was an earthquake. Trying to hold steady, the knife was accompanies with Conrad's fingers kept getting closer to his chest.

I might stab him!

"... gh... stop"

The sound of metal resounded on the stone floor. I took a deep breath and exhaled, like a desperate sea trout.

"Weren't you going to kill me?"

"But, that won't kill you right? Neither with silver bullets or silverware. Only with a stake through the heart while you sleep."

Although I try to calm down, I simply can't.

"But if you stab me, you'll have time to escape from the castle"

"That's pointless. Because I have to return Wolfram, who you turned into a vampire, back to normal."

Lacking energy and sounding a little disappointed, Conrad stroke my hair.

"Ah, that's what you want? Then it's easier to talk to me than killing me"

"Easier?"

Without sympathy in his smile this time, the vampire king shook the tip of his toes and grabbed my face looking up to him.

"If you want that child's freedom, someone should take his place. His role"

"Take his place, how...?"

"Although it might hurt."

I closed my eyes. I didn't hesitate, no, I thought, maybe I should hesitate.




"All right, the end"

Three claps were heard and the background with the old castle set disappeared.

"I'm sorry your majesty. But your strategy of rescuing a hostage from a royal enemy castle and returning is a failure."

I instantly returned to the Blood Pledge Castle, and before the tapestry on the wall, was Anissina standing with her gracefully burning red hair. She looks triumphant.

"The moment the 'vamp...pire, right?' got the answer it was fine to suck blood, it was over."

"Really...?"

"I always tell this to the young female soldiers. As long as you return alive, do whatever you must. Although it's to free a hostage, it's insane to sacrifice yourself or others. Unless it's a troop full of guys."

"But for now this is a tentative way of compromising, and after freeing the hostage, I'd think og a way to survive..."

"I wouldn't let him go though"

The man who tried to steal my blood greeted in such a way. For this popular guy to take his own brother as his vampire bride and lock him up in a castle.

"It was supposed to be reasonably fun."

"You thought that was fun? Since I'm not used to the role of king, I was trying hard to act all mighty, but once I saw that cute ugly(*2) sweater, it was hard not to laugh"

"Sorry I have an ugly sweater. On earth there's a boom of ugly sweaters, during the Christmas season"

Originally the person who made it, rather than a poor taste reindeer sweater, meant to knit a super adorable deer one. Of course, it's MADE IN GWENDAL.

"At any rate why was this simulation? Role-play? Hostage recapture negotiation drill for soldiers made in a scenario with a vampire king, and their prey a capture princess that one must save?"

The door is slammed open with a bang and Wolfram comes in shouting

"I'm not a princess!"

"This drill was originally adopted by the mazoku military school, using the earth trivia knowledge of Lord Weller. For vampires to be so popular... Earth's culture is really very different. There are others too, like strategies to save new recruits who became hostage of a murderer who wears a mask, or convincing dead revived people to go back to their tombs in the graveyard, there are lots of different arrangements."

There's no doubt Lord Weller must have seen some horror movies while on earth. But with zombies it would be impossible, because even if they could negotiate they can't hear. 

The person who had been spreading wrong information of another culture, had had a strange smiling for a while, when he said:

"I only did it a couple of times when I was young, but I really liked the negotiation training. It was fun when compared to other training we had to do. After all, before graduation, we had training to resist torture." Although Josak enjoyed that too, he continued in a lower voice.

On the other hand, Wolfram was in a bad mood.

"Even so, it was disappointing."

"Disappointing, you mean me? Because we stopped right in the middle?"

"That's right. Even though I did the role of the weak 'wife' I didn't want so well, I can't believe you failed the attack. Isn't it disappointing that I got the role of the weak 'wife'? "
 
He said emphasizing 'wife'. However, it's true that giving Wolfram, who's such a determined and wild young master, a role where he's crying on the bed, was unsatisfactory.

"So let's do this!"

Anissina made the face of a cat who was looking at fried chicken, and grabbed the switch with the finger in her right hand. This is bad, her sudden inspirations are always dangerous.

"Since Wolfram wants to be a fighting princess, I have the perfect role! The stage is in space, and its a drill to recapture a brave princess that was captured by the Imperial Army."

"Wait, wait, what era of Star Wars is that? Or rather what happens if I start STAR TOURING, uuuwahh!"

"Let's use our maryoku to start!"

At the same time we heard the switch being flipped, the room became dark, and found ourselves surrounded by a starry sky that seemed to go forever.

At any rate it seems that in order to rescue the fighting princess who will become the leader of the rebel army (and later the last JEDI), I have to sneak into the huge battle ship DEATH STAR.

All while wearing an ugly sweater.


(*0) Phonetically sounds like "Start Wars- The Last Jedi"
(*1) A pun with Weller Kyo, Lord Weller. 
(*2) Ugly sweater, and Lame from the title are the same word, dasai. It means 'in poor taste'. 



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