Editing User talk:Aorii (section)

==Daybreak on Hyperion==
I like your story, keep up the good work, would love to read more. In the last chapter it got a bit confusing tho, first Keade got shot and then sends a message via telepathy. What has happened in between? How did the other mage get on the roof, and so on ? [[Special:Contributions/93.223.35.150|93.223.35.150]] 04:38, 4 January 2014 (CST)

Thanks. As for what happened, Ariadne implied at the beginning of her part (section 5) that Kaede was faking the unconsciousness. Being the airborne one, she had no problem receiving direct line-of-sight telepathy from Kaede. Because of how fragmented the fight is in ch11, the continuously switching POVs makes it bit hard to read. Sorry about that ^^ - Aorii

I got all that, but what I really meant was that you usually get a little character recap here. Like she got shot, struggeled against the pain, activated some runes to dull the pain, heard foot steps, assessed it was best to play dead for the time being, and stab the mage prick that came, with her magic sword later when the time was right. :) Jumps are good and all but if too much is implied it's a bit confusing. Interesting story line, keep it up :) [[Special:Contributions/93.223.35.150|93.223.35.150]] 11:47, 4 January 2014 (CST)

Thanks for the good idea. I added an extra scene (#5, start with "Trying to monitor the situation"). Couldn't go too far with the time overlap since excess repetitiveness lowers tension and dulls the action overall, but hope this clarify and helps the transition o/ - Aorii

Well done, now the story line is smother than before. Action scenes with character development is a must :) [[Special:Contributions/93.223.35.150|93.223.35.150]] 15:46, 5 January 2014 (CST)

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I picked an early chapter (3) to read to see if I’d like the story, and I just got sucked in. Not only did I read the first 2 I skipped, but I ended up reading for the rest of the night.  The next night too. I just read the latest chapter (I was re-reading a couple of parts and noticed you posted it). Your characters are interesting and slowly changing(as any good characters should), and the world seems like it has some depth. I especially liked some of the details on the different types of magic , how they worked, and their strengths and weaknesses.  My only gripe is that there is no more for me to read right now :)  Keep up the good work! -- 21:26, 29 January 2014 (CST)

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I just started it out of curiosity as I was out of any good LN to read and I just couldn't stop until I had finished it. Somehow, your characters(Kaede/Pascal/Ariadne/Sylv mainly, and Cecilia in the last part) are really interesting. I find that Kaede reaction could(should?), in my eye, be a bit more explicit as we don't really understand when/how he accept his reality. I wanted him to search his memory to find his a hint to his death, only to find him opposing this possibility without full inspection.  I'll wait for the next chapter. I'll try to drop by the forum to give a full someday. --[[User:Lulol|Lulol]] ([[User talk:Lulol|talk]]) 15:54, 8 April 2014 (CDT)

Answered on userpage - Aorii

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I just read voulume 1 of Daybreak on Hyperion, must say it was very impressive better than a lot of the translated light novels I read, might be because I like military fantasy. So thank you for writing, I don't really want this series to end so I hope you write many and even more volumes. 
PS.I was reading and I don't really don't know why but the word "asshat" really made me feel uncomfortable.   	[[User:Zeenu8skyfire|Zeenu8skyfire]] ([[User talk:Zeenu8skyfire|talk]]) 07:07, 25 June 2014 (CDT)

Thanks for your encouragement. I'm glad you've enjoyed it thus far ^^ although the 'military' aspect hasn't entirely hit home yet in volume 1 XD
Guess that's the most extreme of cussing I've written thus far? I try not to use much but I won't hold back profanities when the situation warrants though. - Aorii

Finished reading volume 2 chapter 1 to 8, and the military aspect [not] hitting home [yet] was quite right. Thanks for the awesome read XD.
Also after reading the synopsis (just now). I noticed that I don't really want Kaede to be the third wheel that "supported their entire journey through", kind of hoping shes one of the "two wills joined" to alter a continent, even when that doesn't seem all that likely. Also I know you probably wont, but no spoilers please. [[User:Zeenu8skyfire|Zeenu]] ([[User talk:Zeenu8skyfire|talk]]) 01:32, 28 June 2014 (CDT)

My thought on volume 2 hmmm......
*Pascals inhumanity was the biggest surprise for me, I mean seriously it being "intelligent" "to spare those who surrendered". It even sounds fun to think of how Kaede will find out and how her reaction would be.
*Sylviane finding out about Kaede was unexpected, I thought it would be a secret between Kaede and Pascal at least until the latter volumes.
*Kaede and her greek fire thrower- "Blazing corpses, burning pools, and the disentangling limbs of crashed ski infantry scattered across the ravaged fields around her.", that was the most interesting thing that happened so far. Hope she becomes some kind of war idol, I wonder if she'll get a medal or something after this is over. [disentangling - I think it should be -dismembered-]

So everything considered and me being a layman, cant find anything wrong with anything I read. It was awesome and hope for continued awesomeness.And wars, hoping for more appropriately timed wars. [[User:Zeenu8skyfire|Zeenu]] ([[User talk:Zeenu8skyfire|talk]]) 19:00, 29 June 2014 (CDT)

Responses on userpage - Aorii

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Great job! I really have enjoyed what you have written so far and look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work. :) [[User:Starwarscards|Starwarscards]] ([[User talk:Starwarscards|talk]]) 21:15, 29 January 2014 (CST)

LOL ya I have been using this username forever so just stick with what you know right? But yep still do enjoy reading your story just have one problem... I WANT MORE!!!! :P [[User:Starwarscards|Starwarscards]] ([[User talk:Starwarscards|talk]]) 12:10, 14 July 2014 (CDT) 

Responses on userpage - Aorii

XD looking forward to it [[User:Starwarscards|Starwarscards]] ([[User talk:Starwarscards|talk]]) 15:08, 15 July 2014 (CDT)

Dunno who else looks at your discussion page, but considering it's a publicly accessible page, I'll be brief, if somewhat cryptic. the least spoilerish thing I can say regarding your current alpha update is that from here to there, it feels like she's missing a spark of inspiration. If your offer to exchange mails as a beta (alpha?) reader is still on the table, I'll take it. I'm pretty sure you can get mine from Krytyk's wordpress. [[User:SonodaYuki|SonodaYuki]] ([[User talk:SonodaYuki|talk]]) 08:11, 29 July 2015 (UTC)