Editing Talk:Cross x Regalia:Volume 1 Prologue
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You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT) |
You mean you don't understand or the line seems awkward? It should be correct as far as I can remember and doesn't seem off to me. --[[User:Larethian|larethian]] ([[User talk:Larethian|talk]]) 20:45, 23 May 2013 (CDT) |
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| β | Some possible change suggestions: |
+ | Some possible change suggestions:<br> |
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'You won't like to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger right?' -> 'You wouldn't want to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger, right?' |
'You won't like to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger right?' -> 'You wouldn't want to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger, right?' |
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'just nice': If 'choudo ii', to perhaps 'perfect timing' or 'great timing' or 'wonderful' or similar. |
'just nice': If 'choudo ii', to perhaps 'perfect timing' or 'great timing' or 'wonderful' or similar. |
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+ | 'found your outstretched hand' noted above, to perhaps 'found your outstretched hand in front of me' or a more literal translation of the text. Assuming the text isn't '[...]nobashita te wo mitsuketa.', it may be worth checking the exact phrasing used in the original. |
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'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, grasped your warm hand, and told you my name?', to 'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, did I grasp your warm hand, and tell you my name?'. Ah, and also 'to lift even a finger' to 'to even lift a finger', to be consistent with the earlier 'I found it troublesome to even blink, let alone move a single finger'. ('lifting' within 'things difficult', rather than 'things difficult' within 'lifting'.) |
'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, grasped your warm hand, and told you my name?', to 'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, did I grasp your warm hand, and tell you my name?'. Ah, and also 'to lift even a finger' to 'to even lift a finger', to be consistent with the earlier 'I found it troublesome to even blink, let alone move a single finger'. ('lifting' within 'things difficult', rather than 'things difficult' within 'lifting'.) |
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