Talk:Cross x Regalia:Volume 1 Prologue
Hm, yes, but I totally forgot about making the project page. Good job finding it lol. Now, someone less lazy than me can volunteer making the project page lol. --larethian (talk) 14:06, 11 September 2012 (CDT)
The next moment, I found your outstretched hand.
Some possible change suggestions:
'You won't like to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger right?' -> 'You wouldn't want to get hurt[...]got involved with a stranger, right?'
'fella' or fellow are predominantly male terms, so it may be worth replacing it with a more neutral term, depending on the original word.
'just nice': If 'choudo ii', to perhaps 'perfect timing' or 'great timing' or 'wonderful' or similar.
'I found your outstretched hand' noted above, to perhaps 'I found your outstretched hand in front of me' or a more literal translation of the text. Ah, or maybe 'there was your outstretched hand'. Assuming the text isn't '[...]nobashita te wo mitsuketa.', it may be worth checking the exact phrasing used in the original.
'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, grasped your warm hand, and told you my name?', to 'Why, when I found it supposedly troublesome to lift even a finger, did I grasp your warm hand, and tell you my name?'. Ah, and also 'to lift even a finger' to 'to even lift a finger', to be consistent with the earlier 'I found it troublesome to even blink, let alone move a single finger'. ('lifting' within 'things difficult', rather than 'things difficult' within 'lifting'.)
'All my life up till now[...]was the most precious thing to me.' to probably 'Of all my life up till now[...]is the most precious thing to me.'. The tricky part here is not letting it sound as though it had constantly been the most precious thing to her throughout her life.
-Multipartite (talk) 02:04, 4 June 2013 (CDT)