Editing Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story2 Chapter1

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<!-- 血圧の低いルイズは、眠そうな声で答えた。 -->
 
<!-- 血圧の低いルイズは、眠そうな声で答えた。 -->
   
"…Are you plotting something?"
+
"...Are you plotting something?"
   
 
"Myself? I am simply a familiar serving the orders of my mistress. I would not dare to plot!"<!-- <the_naming_game> since this is Saito's super-polite mode, "Myself?" (and to a lesser extent just "Me?") sounds more polite than "Who, me?" without making that part overlong. -->
 
"Myself? I am simply a familiar serving the orders of my mistress. I would not dare to plot!"<!-- <the_naming_game> since this is Saito's super-polite mode, "Myself?" (and to a lesser extent just "Me?") sounds more polite than "Who, me?" without making that part overlong. -->
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"Well of course. That stew's the same stuff we serve to the noble kids." <!-- <Cala> Trying to go for a speech style here... --><!-- <the_naming_game> "that there" might be overkill, but "stuff" and "noble kids" seems spot-on. -->
 
"Well of course. That stew's the same stuff we serve to the noble kids." <!-- <Cala> Trying to go for a speech style here... --><!-- <the_naming_game> "that there" might be overkill, but "stuff" and "noble kids" seems spot-on. -->
   
"I can't believe this is the kind of stuff they get to eat everyday…"
+
"I can't believe this is the kind of stuff they get to eat everyday..."
   
 
Marteau snorted loudly at Saito's comment.
 
Marteau snorted loudly at Saito's comment.
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"Why not?"
 
"Why not?"
   
"It's just… weird."
+
"It's just... weird."
   
 
The man let go of Saito and spread his arms out in protest.
 
The man let go of Saito and spread his arms out in protest.
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"You know, 'Our Sword,' I'm starting to like you more and more. So how about it?"
 
"You know, 'Our Sword,' I'm starting to like you more and more. So how about it?"
   
"Um, how about what…?"
+
"Um, how about what...?"
   
 
He was simply telling the truth, but Marteau always thought he was just being modest. It was somewhat frustrating. He felt like he was deceiving the good-natured man. Saito's gaze dropped down to the runes on his left hand.
 
He was simply telling the truth, but Marteau always thought he was just being modest. It was somewhat frustrating. He felt like he was deceiving the good-natured man. Saito's gaze dropped down to the runes on his left hand.
 
<!-- 気さくな親父を騙している気分になってくる。 -->
 
<!-- 気さくな親父を騙している気分になってくる。 -->
   
''Since that day, it hasn't glowed anymore. Just what was that, I wonder…'' Even when Saito tried to make a point of staring at his own runes, Marteau interpreted that as him being reserved.
+
''Since that day, it hasn't glowed anymore. Just what was that, I wonder...'' Even when Saito tried to make a point of staring at his own runes, Marteau interpreted that as him being reserved.
   
 
The chef turned to Siesta.
 
The chef turned to Siesta.
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Although that particular day… there was a crimson shadow <!-- <Cala> Shadow, as in, someone following you. --> spying on Saito from a window of the kitchen. One of the young cooks took notice of it.
+
Although that particular day... there was a crimson shadow <!-- <Cala> Shadow, as in, someone following you. --> spying on Saito from a window of the kitchen. One of the young cooks took notice of it.
   
 
"Hey, there's something outside the window."
 
"Hey, there's something outside the window."
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<!-- さて、朝食、掃除、洗濯のあとは、ルイズの授業のお供を務める。 -->
 
<!-- さて、朝食、掃除、洗濯のあとは、ルイズの授業のお供を務める。 -->
   
In the beginning, the lessons fascinated Saito with their marvels: turning water into wine, combining various reagents to brew special potions, materializing fireballs out of nothing, levitating boxes and sticks and balls out of the class windows for their familiars to fetch, etc… but after a while, the novelty wore off.
+
In the beginning, the lessons fascinated Saito with their marvels: turning water into wine, combining various reagents to brew special potions, materializing fireballs out of nothing, levitating boxes and sticks and balls out of the class windows for their familiars to fetch, etc... but after a while, the novelty wore off.
 
<!-- 空中に箱や棒やボールを自在に浮かべ -->
 
<!-- 空中に箱や棒やボールを自在に浮かべ -->
   
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<!-- 夜中、寝ているとルイズが自分の藁束の中に忍び込んでくる夢であった。 -->
 
<!-- 夜中、寝ているとルイズが自分の藁束の中に忍び込んでくる夢であった。 -->
   
''"What's wrong, Louise…?"''
+
''"What's wrong, Louise...?"''
   
 
At hearing her name being called, Louise shot a glare at Saito.
 
At hearing her name being called, Louise shot a glare at Saito.
   
''"You can't sleep? Oh, all right… can't be helped. Munya~"'' <!-- <Cala> Taking suggestions for equivalents of 'munya'. --><!-- <the_naming_game> Maybe "mrrrrmmm" or "mrrrmmmph" or "mmmnnnnuu" or "mmmmmmnnnn" ? -->
+
''"You can't sleep? Oh, all right... can't be helped. Munya~"'' <!-- <Cala> Taking suggestions for equivalents of 'munya'. --><!-- <the_naming_game> Maybe "mrrrrmmm" or "mrrrmmmph" or "mmmnnnnuu" or "mmmmmmnnnn" ? -->
   
 
''Oh, he's just muttering in his sleep,''
 
''Oh, he's just muttering in his sleep,''
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=== Page 132 ===
 
=== Page 132 ===
 
-->
 
-->
''"…Munya. H-hey, don't hug me all of a sudden."''
+
''"...Munya. H-hey, don't hug me all of a sudden."''
   
 
Louise's gaze snapped to Saito once more. The other students were starting to take notice of the situation, and perked their ears to listen.
 
Louise's gaze snapped to Saito once more. The other students were starting to take notice of the situation, and perked their ears to listen.
   
''"…Jeez, for the slave driver you are during the day, you're such a sweet little thing in bed."''
+
''"...Jeez, for the slave driver you are during the day, you're such a sweet little thing in bed."''
   
 
A trickle of drool ran down from the corner of Saito's mouth as he continued to enjoy his dream.
 
A trickle of drool ran down from the corner of Saito's mouth as he continued to enjoy his dream.
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"Wait! This is just some stupid sleep-talk! Ah, jeez! Wake up already!"
 
"Wait! This is just some stupid sleep-talk! Ah, jeez! Wake up already!"
   
''"Louise, Louise, you're like a kitten; stop licking me there like that…"''
+
''"Louise, Louise, you're like a kitten; stop licking me there like that..."''
 
<!-- 『ルイズ、ルイズ、そんなところネコみたいに舐めるなよ…』 -->
 
<!-- 『ルイズ、ルイズ、そんなところネコみたいに舐めるなよ…』 -->
   
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That didn't stop Saito from continuing either.
 
That didn't stop Saito from continuing either.
   
"When she does, I have to fend her off a bit…"
+
"When she does, I have to fend her off a bit..."
   
 
By this point, he was too far gone. Louise's shoulders began to tremble angrily.
 
By this point, he was too far gone. Louise's shoulders began to tremble angrily.
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Noticing it, Saito waved his hand at it.
 
Noticing it, Saito waved his hand at it.
   
"You're Kirche's salamander, aren't you? I know you have a name. What was it… Oh yeah, it's Flame. Flame—"
+
"You're Kirche's salamander, aren't you? I know you have a name. What was it... Oh yeah, it's Flame. Flame—"
   
 
Saito motioned for it to come closer, but the salamander flicked its tail around and spat out a few embers before running back to its master.
 
Saito motioned for it to come closer, but the salamander flicked its tail around and spat out a few embers before running back to its master.
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And while Saito was having a staring contest with a salamander during class…
+
And while Saito was having a staring contest with a salamander during class...
   
 
At the Headmaster's Office, Miss Longueville the secretary was busily writing away at something.
 
At the Headmaster's Office, Miss Longueville the secretary was busily writing away at something.
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Once the invocation was complete, she pointed the baton at the padlock.
 
Once the invocation was complete, she pointed the baton at the padlock.
   
However… nothing happened.
+
However... nothing happened.
   
 
"Well, it's not like I really expected a Spell of Unbinding to work anyway."
 
"Well, it's not like I really expected a Spell of Unbinding to work anyway."
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Smiling deviously, she began reciting the words to one of her specialty spells.
 
Smiling deviously, she began reciting the words to one of her specialty spells.
   
It was a Transmutation spell. Chanting loud and clear, she waved her baton at the heavy lock. The magic cascaded over it… but even after a considerable wait, there was no visible change.
+
It was a Transmutation spell. Chanting loud and clear, she waved her baton at the heavy lock. The magic cascaded over it... but even after a considerable wait, there was no visible change.
   
 
"Looks like it's been magically reinforced by a Square-class mage," she muttered.
 
"Looks like it's been magically reinforced by a Square-class mage," she muttered.
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"Greetings, Miss Longueville. What are you doing here?"
 
"Greetings, Miss Longueville. What are you doing here?"
   
"Mister Colbert, I was going to catalog the contents of the treasury, but…"
+
"Mister Colbert, I was going to catalog the contents of the treasury, but..."
   
 
"Oh, that's quite some work. It'd probably take you all day to go over each and every item. There's a lot of junk mixed together with them, and it's a rather cramped space they've been arranged in too." <!-- <Shadow Walker13> "arranged in, too" or "arranged into"? -->
 
"Oh, that's quite some work. It'd probably take you all day to go over each and every item. There's a lot of junk mixed together with them, and it's a rather cramped space they've been arranged in too." <!-- <Shadow Walker13> "arranged in, too" or "arranged into"? -->
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=== Page 139 ===
 
=== Page 139 ===
 
-->
 
-->
"Well… I didn't want to disturb his sleep. In any case, I'm in no immediate hurry to complete the catalog…"
+
"Well... I didn't want to disturb his sleep. In any case, I'm in no immediate hurry to complete the catalog..."
   
 
"I see. Sleep, you say. That old man, I mean, Old Osmond, is quite a deep sleeper. It seems I shall have to visit him another time."
 
"I see. Sleep, you say. That old man, I mean, Old Osmond, is quite a deep sleeper. It seems I shall have to visit him another time."
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<!-- ミスタ・コルベールは歩き出した。それから、立ち止まり、振り向いた。-->
 
<!-- ミスタ・コルベールは歩き出した。それから、立ち止まり、振り向いた。-->
   
"Err… Miss Longueville?"
+
"Err... Miss Longueville?"
   
 
"Is something the matter?"
 
"Is something the matter?"
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Colbert looked slightly embarrassed as he opened his mouth to speak.
 
Colbert looked slightly embarrassed as he opened his mouth to speak.
   
"If it would be all right, how would you like to, say… join me for lunch?"
+
"If it would be all right, how would you like to, say... join me for lunch?"
   
 
She took a moment to consider, then smiled brightly as she accepted the offer.
 
She took a moment to consider, then smiled brightly as she accepted the offer.
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Her eyes glinted.
 
Her eyes glinted.
   
"What… kind of shape?"
+
"What... kind of shape?"
   
"It's extremely difficult to describe, except as simply strange, yes. But never mind that, what would you like to eat? Today's menu is flounder baked in herbs… but I'm quite well-acquainted with Marteau the head chef, and I can have him make any of the world's finest delica—"
+
"It's extremely difficult to describe, except as simply strange, yes. But never mind that, what would you like to eat? Today's menu is flounder baked in herbs... but I'm quite well-acquainted with Marteau the head chef, and I can have him make any of the world's finest delica—"
   
 
"Ahem." Miss Longueville interrupted Colbert's babbling.
 
"Ahem." Miss Longueville interrupted Colbert's babbling.
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=== Page 141 ===
 
=== Page 141 ===
 
-->
 
-->
"Eh? Well… Haha, I just happened to come across a lot of documents pertaining to this floor, that's all… I like to consider it a part of my research, haha. Thanks to that, I'm still single at this age… yes."
+
"Eh? Well... Haha, I just happened to come across a lot of documents pertaining to this floor, that's all... I like to consider it a part of my research, haha. Thanks to that, I'm still single at this age... yes."
   
"I'm sure the woman that you find will be very happy to be with you. After all, you can teach her so much about things that nobody else knows…" Miss Longueville fixed him with a fascinated look.
+
"I'm sure the woman that you find will be very happy to be with you. After all, you can teach her so much about things that nobody else knows..." Miss Longueville fixed him with a fascinated look.
   
 
"Oh, no! Please don't tease me like that!"
 
"Oh, no! Please don't tease me like that!"
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Smiling, she pressed him to continue.
 
Smiling, she pressed him to continue.
   
"So… if it would be all right, I was wondering if you would dance with me, yes."
+
"So... if it would be all right, I was wondering if you would dance with me, yes."
   
 
"I would love to. While ball parties are fabulous, I'd like to know more about the treasury right now. I'm quite fascinated by magical items, you see."
 
"I would love to. While ball parties are fabulous, I'd like to know more about the treasury right now. I'm quite fascinated by magical items, you see."
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=== Page 142 ===
 
=== Page 142 ===
 
-->
 
-->
Wanting to further impress Miss Longueville, Colbert racked his brains. ''Treasury, treasury, she says…''
+
Wanting to further impress Miss Longueville, Colbert racked his brains. ''Treasury, treasury, she says...''
   
 
Remembering something she might find interesting, he put on an important air and started to talk.
 
Remembering something she might find interesting, he put on an important air and started to talk.
   
"Ah yes, there's one thing I can tell you. Although it's not particularly important…"
+
"Ah yes, there's one thing I can tell you. Although it's not particularly important..."
   
 
"By all means, do tell."
 
"By all means, do tell."
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"Oh, that's intriguing."
 
"Oh, that's intriguing."
   
"That weakness is… physical force."
+
"That weakness is... physical force."
   
 
"Physical force?"
 
"Physical force?"

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