Difference between revisions of "NouCome: Volume 1 Chapter 3"

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==Chapter 2 - Yukihira Furano's Real Heart==
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==Chapter 3 - Yuuouji Ouka’s New World==
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===Part 1===
  
===Part 1===
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"Supi-"
  
   
  +
“Snore~”
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The girl was hugging the blanket like a hug pillow and sleeping pleasantly.
  
  +
  +
Chocolat of the Amakusa household was once again collapsed in a deep sleep.
  +
  +
“...Sigh, how should I deal with her this time.”
  +
  +
She slept with her mouth gaping wide open, leaving her completely defenseless.
  +
  +
I sighed and walked towards the edge of the bed.
  +
  +
“Hey...don’t do that!”
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  +
Just as I was about to reach an arm out to shake her awake, she cried out in a strange, yet somehow strangely arousing manner. Don’t tell me it’s going to be like that last time all over again...
  +
  +
“D-don’t do that, Natsuhiko-san!”
  +
  +
Natsuhiko? That’s one name I’ve never heard of, who could that be? Sounds as if he’s going to violate Chocolat or something...
  +
  +
“Natsuhiko-san, don’t assault Kanade-san while he’s unconscious, that’s too low!”
  +
  +
So it was me all along!
  +
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“Stop, it would be too predictable with Kanade-san as the uke, so of course it won’t be fun!” (TL note: Uke is a term used in yaoi to define the person at the ‘receiving end’...I don’t think i need to explain further.)
  +
  +
Couldn’t she have a better reason to stop him?
  +
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“I see...since you’re prepared for that, I don’t have any reason to stop you.”
  +
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Stop him already!
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“Ah, Kanade-san’s almost awake, just use that chloroform-stained handkerchief of yours to knock him out again.” (TL note: Chloroform is a chemical that induces unconsciousness.
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Why the hell are you helping Natsuhiko!?
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“You’re quite something, Natsuhiko-san, to begin your assault at a place like that. Ooh, Kanade-san’s hole -”
  +
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“Behave yourself already!”
  +
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I couldn’t take it any longer, so I slapped her until she awoke.
  +
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“Fumyu?”
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Chocolat’s eyes were still half-open due to her fatigue, and she surveyed her surroundings nimbly.
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“Huh, where’s Natsuhiko-san?”
  +
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“Who the hell is that!?”
  +
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“Nom nom.”
  +
  +
Chocolat immediately filled her mouth with the miso mackerel I had prepared on the breakfast table cheerfully.
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“Wasn’t it great that we at least managed to complete Yukihira Furano-san’s mission?”
  +
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“Oh, right, yeah I guess.”
  +
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“How exactly did you make her laugh in the end? Isn’t she usually the type of person who never smiles?”
  +
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“That was obviously because...of my natural comedic abilities.”
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I intentionally obscured the subject matter, merely telling her that I succeeded without mentioning all that business with the banana peel, otherwise I would be in for it since she would make fun of me for that for the rest of my days.
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“Mm~ so Furano-san enjoys watching people fail at comedy?”
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This fellow really has no manners.
  +
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“Right, Kanade-san.”
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Chocolat asked while peeling a pickled cucumber.
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“I didn’t get the chance to try all forty-eight tickling methods from last night.”
  +
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“Ugh...”
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This reawakened memories of having breasts straddling my back as well as a horribly corroding fragrance assaulting my brain, not to mention all the side effects, so that method was definitely extremely dangerous.
  +
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“No more...no more tickling from now on.”
  +
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“Why not? I originally intended to try everything out tonight again, des.”
  +
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“If you do it again, I’ll only give you pinecones as a snack next time.”
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“Y-your pinecone harassment is too much!”
  +
  +
What the heck is that...
  +
  +
“Hmm?”
  +
  +
My cellphone that I had put on the table earlier began ringing, but for some reason I had a bad feeling.
  +
  +
As expected, I received yet another order for a「Curse-Breaking Mission」. The second round really came pretty quick.
  +
  +
Who exactly is in charge of these things? With the previous god on maternity leave (?), the Flippant God had said earlier on the phone as well that he isn’t actually sure about this entire affair.
  +
  +
Anyway, there’s no point in thinking about such things for now. If I don’t first look at the details of the mission itself, I’ll never get anything done.
  +
  +
「Get a glance of what Yawakaze Konagi’s panties look like when being worn Deadline May 11th (Saturday)」
  +
  +
...What? Wait, what? What exactly is this? No matter how many times I read the message, not a single letter of it changed.
  +
  +
Yawakaze Konagi...it is referring to THAT Yawakaze Konagi, right?
  +
  +
It was a name that anyone studying at Seikou High would have heard of, no matter whether they knew her in person or not.
  +
  +
Yawakaze Konagi is a second-year student currently ranked all the way up at number 3 of the Popular 5 rankings. Putting her naturally cute looks aside, her personality is apparently gentle as well, not to mention that she’s an airhead, which of course essentially makes her the walking personification of every man’s dreams.
  +
  +
She may not have as much personality as the other 4 on that list do, but her feminine cuteness itself is enough to garner popularity among the student population.
  +
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In fact, she was so popular that she actually has a group of students following her around like some sort of fan club all the time.
  +
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And I’m expected to sneak a peek at her panties...today is the 9th, a Thursday, which means the deadline is the day after tomorrow. Isn’t this a little too unreasonable?
  +
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“Kanade-san, is that a new mission?”
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I nodded and told Chocolat the details.
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“How exactly should I go about doing this?”
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Hirano’s mission was hard enough, although making her laugh wasn’t exactly that much of a bad thing.
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But for this mission, if a gust of wind would happen to just blow up her skirt with me in the line of sight it would be fine, but what the hell are the odds of that?
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“Calm down, I’ll help you buy something called「Ten Secrets of Peeking at Women’s Panties」.”
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“Wait a second, a book like that doesn’t exactly exist right?”
  +
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Also the book that guaranteed to have methods to make anyone laugh was completely useless.
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“I even found a book called「Ten Tricks to Prevent Natsuhiko-san from Entering Your Rear Entrance」.”
  +
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“Cut it out already! Who is that anyway?”
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“He’s a professional gay.”
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“Professional?”
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“Yes, he’s on a completely different level from a part-time gay like you.”
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“Your assumption is completely wrong in the first place!”
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“Huh, don’t tell me you’re a professional as well?”
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“That’s nonsense, I’m perfectly normal!”
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“I see, which means you’re a classic gay then.”
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“OF COURSE NOT! I like girls!”
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“Oh, so you stick it both ways.”
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“To hell with all that sticking business!”
  +
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===Part 2===
  +
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“Sigh...”
  +
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My mood once again fell a few notches as I remembered my task, even though I was already emotionally devastated by being called a gay the first thing in the morning.
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“Look at her panties? No matter how you think about it, it’s impossible...wait?”
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In the midst of my mumbling, I noticed someone familiar near the entrance to our school dormitories. It was Yukihira.
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Since I didn’t know how she would react after what happened on the roof yesterday, I greeted her with a tinge of nervousness.
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“...Oh, good morning, Yukihira.”
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Yukihira turned around, meeting my gaze, and after a brief silence -
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“Good morning, you useless trash with only an attack power of five.”
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She was her usual self.
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“You sure are energetic first thing in the morning, huh.”
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“Good morning, Dodoria-san.”
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“Why are you suddenly imitating Frieza...” (TL note: Dodoria is an underling of Frieza in Dragon Ball.)
  +
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“I’ll mention this as well, my bounty is fifty-three thousand Beris.” (TL note: Beris/belis/bellies are a currency used in the One Piece universe.)
  +
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“I have a feeling we’re in the wrong manga.”
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And that bounty would probably only be befitting of a group of mountain bandits.
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“From your looks, you don’t seem to know how large of an amount fifty-three thousand Beris is.”
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Of course not, who would know with you mixing together all those universes like that.
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“With that much money you could buy an entire mountain of empty capsules.”
  +
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“Why would you want that much?”
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“So we can fill them with water and use them to save Namu’s village.” (TL note: Namu is another character from Dragon Ball.)
  +
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“You’ve been reading too much manga!”
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Yep, it was definitely the usual Yukihira.
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“Right, Amakusa-san, I apologize for showing you my embarrassing side yesterday.”
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Yesterday...she must be talking about how I slipped on that banana peel and caused her to laugh. The very subject matter I was trying to avoid was brought up by her instead.
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“Since young I’ve been prone to laughing extremely hard easily. Normally this doesn’t happen but once someone manages to tickle my funny bone - especially with an overused punchline - I just explode.”
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Her tone was completely calmed, and she didn’t seem to be embarrassed in the slightest.
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“I guess this is what they call contrast moe.” (TL note: Contrast moe - if that’s what you call it - is a trait where someone exhibits a personality trait completely opposite from his/her usual behavior and appearing moe in the process, for example where Yukihira’s contrast moe is her laughing which she doesn’t usually do.)
  +
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She even personally explained the entire thing, putting whether it was moe or not aside, her current actions were completely different from her usual self -
  +
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Wait, contrast?
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This term gave me a strange feeling. What was it? It felt like something was creeping about in the dark corners of my mind.
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That was probably related to Yukihira using her traditional memory-erasing methods on me when I was still emotionally scarred from stumbling upon those X-rated boy-on-boy scenes. Leaving that aside for now, I seem to have witnessed something with an immense contrast...
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“Ah, I remember a little of it now. Yukihira, weren’t you kneeling down on the roof back then?”
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“!”
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Yukihira’s eyes suddenly shot wide open.
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“Right, right, you seemed to have said something weird - eh?”
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“...That’s strange, Yukihira?”
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When I opened my eyes I saw Yukihira’s head appearing diagonally upwards within my field of vision. Why am I on the floor with my back against the wall? What happened? I felt the back of my head in an attempt to remember the events of the past few moments.
  +
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“Ouch!”
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I felt a massive bump, what the hell had happened earlier? I stood up while massaging that sore, all the while attempting to regroup my thoughts.
  +
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I remembered that Chocolat called my a gay which made me briefly emotionally devastated, after which i went to school where I met Yukihira at the entrance to our school dormitories...what happened after that?
  +
  +
Suddenly Yukihira’s voice cut through my thoughts, and what she said was:
  +
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“Good morning, you useless trash with only an attack power of five.”
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“You’ve been reading too much manga!”
  +
  +
Our conversation ended just after she mentioned something about Namu and punchlines, but just as I was about to ask her what happened -
  +
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“It’s too dangerous for me to say any more...I’ll be on my way first, Amakusa-san.”
  +
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As she left behind this mysterious last line, she turned around and rushed upstairs.
  +
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“Ah, wait!”
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She suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned around.
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“Oh right, if you could just stay away from me for this period of time, I’ll be very happy.”
  +
  +
“What? Why?”
  +
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“Because you might spray out some weird stuff to make me pregnant.”
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“Do you take me as some sort of wild beast!?”
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Having spoken her mind, Yukihira disappeared from my sight at the end of the stairway.
  +
  +
Well, I knew that Yukihira has always been an oddball from the very start, but she seemed to be especially weird earlier.
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  +
Judging from the situation alone, it seemed that Yukihira had erased my memories once again...unless she said something that she didn’t want me to remember?
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“?”
  +
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I felt a presence behind me, so I turned around.
  +
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It was a girl.
  +
  +
She walked straight towards me, as if she was thinking about something so hard that she was in her own world, not noticing me at all.
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It would have probably been fine if I had just dodged a little to the side, but in the very instant that I saw her face and recognized who she was, my brain froze.
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With my frozen body, and her state of aloofness, it was a foregone conclusion that we would crash into each other.
  +
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With a loud thump, she walked straight into my chest.
  +
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“Ouch, ouch...huh? What?”
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She finally noticed my presence.
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“Ah, I-I-I-I-I-I’m sorry!”
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The color of her face instantly turned into a virulent shade of red, and she began retreating in rather exaggerated steps.
  +
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“Huh? Aahhhhh!”
  +
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She then managed to magically lose her balance on the flat surface of the corridor.
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“Woah, be careful!”
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She began wobbling from side-to-side.
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“Waaaaaah!”
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At long last, she collapsed onto the ground.
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“Ugh...ouch.”
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She actually managed to fall in such a position where her body was on the ground and her butt was pointing up to the air. It was the first time I saw such a manga-like scenario happen in real life.
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“You are...Yawakaze Konagi, right?”
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Undoubtedly, she was the very Yawakaze Konagi who was ranked third among Seiko Academy’s Popular Five.
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Which means she is the person whose panties I absolutely must peek at.
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“Um, do I...do I have something on my face?”
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Crap, I stared too long.
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“Ah, it’s nothing, I was just going to ask you a question. Are you hurt?”
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“Oh, no, it’s fine.”
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Yawakaze stood up and straightened out her skirt. Her voice was sweet, without any modulations or accents, making it extremely calming to hear.
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“I’m sorry for bumping into you. I was thinking about what I want to eat later, so I forgot to pay attention to my surroundings...haha.”
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She smiled shyly.
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Her body seemed to emanate a gentle aura like a calm breeze, and her smile seemed as if it could calm any heart.
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  +
Yawakaze Konagi really lives up to her name. (TL note: This is referring to the Kanji of her name, 柔風小凪. The first two characters, 柔風, mean ‘gentle breeze’, while the last two characters, 小凪 mean ‘calming’.)
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“I’m fine, but are you really alright? That fall seemed pretty heavy.”
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“Don’t worry, I’m fine, I’m used to this - ah!”
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Halfway through her sentence, a loud rumbling came from Yawakaze’s stomach.
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Although that sound was rather cute, there was no doubt that it was her stomach growling.
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“Ah, this, um...it-it’s nothing, it’s just that I kinda overslept, so I came to school without eating breakfast, so...ah, n-no! That wasn’t my stomach!”
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I was going to pretend that I hadn’t heard anything, but since she said it herself, I guess it can’t be helped. Her face was completely red, and she swung her arms about flusteredly.
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W...what kind of moe creature is this? (TL note: Moe is the typical otaku term for something that is cute.)
  +
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I see, so this is the true power of the Popular Five. I realized something else during this first encounter with Yawakaze.
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Yes, it was that a cute girl with a normal personality like her could be this cute.
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Judging by appearances alone, Yuuouji, Yukihira and Yawakaze are all extreme beauties with hardly any slivers of differences between them, hence any attempt to judge the three would be up to personal preference alone.
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Personality-wise, however, is a different story.
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Anything that comes out of Yukihira’s mouth is either insults or lame jokes, while Yuuouji is in essence nothing but an immature grade-schooler.
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Compared to those two weirdos, Yawakaze Konagi would seem to be an unbelievably pure young girl, even more so that she actually is.
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“Oh, what am I still thinking about.”
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This isn’t the time to be comparing. I still had the dilemma of peeking at Yawakaze’s panties within the next three days to think about.
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“Um, are you Amakusa Kanade-san?”
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Having snapped out of her previous embarrassed state, she asked me an unexpected question.
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“Huh, yeah, that’s me.”
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Considering how famous (for the wrong reasons) I am, there was no surprise that she would know my name and reputation. However, her tone seemed to be implying other things.
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“I see. Ouka mentions you a lot.”
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“Ouka? Right, you mean Yuuouji. You know her?”
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“I don’t just know her, we’re pretty good friends too. We were classmates in first grade.”
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Yawakaze smiled.
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“Hmm?”
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A strange feeling suddenly came over me. Although this should be the first time I’m getting in close contact with Yawakaze, her smile seemed somewhat familiar.
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Do I know anyone like her?If I knew someone with such a dazzling smile, I definitely would not have forgotten that person...nope, I can’t think of anyone.
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Forget it, these questions aren’t important, I should be concentrating on the mission at hand.
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The fact that Yuuouji and Ouka are friends with each other would be a hugely beneficial piece of information for my mission.
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Having a mutual friend would definitely help out in conversations or small talk. This might be the first time that Yuuouji left a positive impact on my life. First the coincidental meeting, then this unexpected discovery should give me a rather large head start. It may be impossible to just talk her into showing me her panties, but I guess it still helps in a way.
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Sadly -
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“W...what?”
  +
  +
My personal Grim Reaper, the Absolute Choices, bared its fangs and blew out the flickering candle of hope that had just been lit within my heart.
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As I read the choices over again and again, the only thought I was able to muster was, **** you, you **** God.
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“Amakusa-san, is something wrong?”
  +
  +
Yawakaze looked at me and asked. Her large and beady eyes were incredibly cute. They were seriously, dangerously cute.
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I looked into those eyes and said blatantly to her:
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“Cut the crap, could you let me see your panties?”
  +
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===Part 3===
  +
  +
“Ouch...dammit.”
  +
  +
My body was still aching even though it was approaching noon.
  +
  +
I could only collapse on my desk and recall the events from earlier.
  +
  +
After I said that line to Yawakaze, a large and burly hand immediately grabbed onto my shoulder.
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  +
I didn’t know that person, but the color of his tie told me that he was a third-year. While I was still trying to figure out who he was, that hand was already mercilessly dragging me away from the scene.
  +
  +
In the midst of my confusion, I noticed that i was being dragged into some sort of narrow and dark place. What waited for me there was a group of male students, all emanating an immense murderous intent.
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I probably don’t need to elaborate about what happened next.
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  +
I’m guessing that was the fabled Yawakaze Guard.
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  +
I had previously heard that Yawakaze had a personal troop of followers that operated by a special code of actions, namely that they would watch over each other and prevent any one of them from confessing to her. I figured that it wasn’t like she was some sort of celebrity anyway, so they probably didn’t exist. Sadly, they did.
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However, this troupe of hers is independently formed by the students themselves, so they didn’t hold any actual administrative powers within the school.
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  +
Normally speaking, they wouldn’t prevent a non-member like me from talking to Yawakaze...unless I perform some major act of sexual harassment.
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  +
「Choose: ① “Cut the crap, could you let me see your panties?”
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② Take off your underwear on the spot and ask to exchange it with hers (just like footballers do).」
  +
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I’m not the kind of “hero” who would pick the latter option. Essentially speaking, Absolute Choices are usually made up of a horrible choice, and another even more horrible choice.
  +
  +
I’m honestly sorry for having to say something like that to her. If someone you didn’t know came up to you and asked to see your underwear, I bet you would feel uncomfortable as well.
  +
  +
“Amacchi, Amacchi.”
  +
  +
Something poked my shoulder from behind, interrupting my train of thought.
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  +
“Oh, it’s Yuuouji. I’m thinking about something, so leave me alone for a while.”
  +
  +
I had no time to fool around with her, what’s important now is to figure out how to apologize to Yawakaze about the panties, then ask her once again, more formally this time, to show them to me...I’m contradicting myself.
  +
  +
“What are you underwear-ing about?”
  +
  +
“W-what do you mean?”
  +
  +
Yuuouji’s question shocked me so much that I went into a falsetto.
  +
  +
“In class earlier, weren’t you muttering ‘underwear’ throughout the lesson?”
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  +
...Shit, I let out my thoughts without thinking.
  +
  +
“It’s nothing, but since you were going on and on about it I just wanted to know whether you have any underwear-related troubles.”
  +
  +
Man, I just had to attract the most annoying one of all.
  +
  +
“It’s nothing...nothing to do with you.”
  +
  +
“Haha, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Just let me, the walking Underwear Dictionary share your burden with you.”
  +
  +
You should be the one embarrassed for having a nickname like that.
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  +
Isn’t the embarrassed at all despite spouting the word ‘underwear’ at all so many times?
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  +
It might be by the same logic as how grade-schoolers would snicker while repeating meaningless words like ‘poop’ or ‘pee-pee’, but this young lady over here is in her second year of high school already...forget it, that’s Yuuouji for you.
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“Hmm, I bet Amacchi just wants to look at panties, right??”
  +
  +
“Pfft! I-I never said that!”
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  +
I spat loudly, having had my mind seemingly read by her.
  +
  +
“Sigh, you let out everything earlier anyway. I was just pretending that I only heard a little in order to mess with you.”
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What...did you say? You’re telling me that I forgot someone like you was sitting behind me, but also said everything about Yawakaze without realizing...my subconscious is horrifying.
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  +
Since the cat’s out of the bag already anyway, the only thing I can do now is to prevent Yuuouji from letting it loose.
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  +
“Yuuouji, please don’t say anything about this to her.”
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  +
Asking to see her panties to her face was bad enough, but if she knew that I was muttering about all that even in class our relationship would definitely deteriorate to the point of no return.
  +
  +
“Right, I get it, I won’t tell her. Anyway, Amacchi, why would you want to see her panties anyway?”
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  +
“That’s what I want to know myself. I’d never met Yawakaze before until today -”
  +
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“...Oh~?”
  +
  +
Yuuouji’s lips twisted in a sneer.
  +
  +
“I see~ so Amacchi wants to look at ‘’that’’ Yawakaze Konagi’s panties, huh.”
  +
  +
Huh? Didn’t she say that she had heard everything earlier, so why would she react in this manner...unless!
  +
  +
“Huh, how strange~ I never even asked whose panties it was, but this man over here revealed it himself. How interesting~”
  +
  +
Crap...I fell for it,hook, line and sinker.
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  +
Her tricking me was bad enough, but the fact that she had to imitate that little prick Odagawa Conan’s voice while doing enough pisses me off even more. (TL note: This is referring to the titular character of the manga series Detective Conan.)
  +
  +
“Since the truth’s out, how about you be honest with me now?”
  +
  +
“No, I don’t want to say anything to someone like you.”
  +
  +
“Hmm, you’re not in the position to be saying things like that, aren’t you? Konacchi’s my good friend, so it would be easy for me to destroy her impression of you, you know?”
  +
  +
Ugh...in an instant, the fact that the two girls knew each other turned from an advantage to a disadvantage.
  +
  +
“Come on, it’s better to suffer now than later, so out with it already.”
  +
  +
It’s practically impossible to dissuade Yuuouji from doing something when her curiosity is aroused. Since things have went this far, it would be better to tell her the truth then find a way to make her shut up rather than lie about it. Of course, I have to gloss over the important parts about the mission and all.
  +
  +
In order to avoid any misunderstandings, I spoke in a solemn manner:
  +
  +
“Yuuouji, due to some unwanted and unchangeable circumstances, I must peek at Yawakaze’s panties before Sunday,”
  +
  +
“Hoho, to think that you could say something like this with a straight face. Good on you, Amacchi.”
  +
  +
Who was the one that wanted me to do it in the first place?
  +
  +
“Trust me, my reasons are completely legitimate.”
  +
  +
I don’t want anyone to think that I’m some sort of pervert who just wants to think of panties, even if that person is Yuuouji,.
  +
  +
“Mm, so you want to see Konacchi’s panties, but you’re not doing this for your own lecherous needs?”
  +
  +
I nodded. “Looking at Yawakaze’s panties” is but a stepping stone on my quest to rid myself of Absolute Choices and nothing else.
  +
  +
“I see~ which means you, dear sir, wish to look at panties for no conscious reason. That’s deep...in fact it’s so deep that it’s practically philosophical territory now.”
  +
  +
Are you trying to get all those long-gone philosophers to rise up from the grave to come after you with all that nonsense you’re spouting?
  +
  +
“Think for a second, weren’t there some pioneers of Underwear-ism within the ranks of those ancient thinkers?”
  +
  +
“Apologize to Aristotle immediately!”
  +
  +
“Not to mention that many commonplace idioms and proverbs these days have their roots in underwear as well.”
  +
  +
Under Yuuouji’s influence, the conversation was being steered towards rather undesirable areas.
  +
  +
“Um, I can’t think of any.”
  +
  +
“For example, all roads lead to underwear.”
  +
  +
“Nonsense! Unless you’re telling me the capital of Italy has been a pair of underwear all this time!”
  +
  +
“Also,「Boys, be underwear!」...no, it’s「wear underwear」.” (TL note: This is a parody of William S. Clarke’s famous quote: Boys, be ambitious!)
  +
  +
“I’m pretty sure that’s not the only mistake!”
  +
  +
“Et underwear, Brutus!” (TL note: This is a parody of Julius Caesar’s alleged last words as he was stabbed to death while exiting the Senate. Upon seeing that his adopted son and confidante Brutus was one of his assailants, he cried out “Toi aussi, Brutus!”, meaning “You too, Brutus!”)'''(!<!-- Note: The originale sentences is latin not french : Tu quoque mi fili, and too/quoque mean "aussi" in french, grammaticaly we put "toi" and not "et" because "aussi" isn't a verb but an adverb. I don't know if it was like this in the raw but i think it will be a nice idea to change the sentences in the text too, it's quite strange to see an english word and a french one together when they don't suit each other, maybe you could write somethoing like: "Tes sous-vêtements aussi, Brutus" if you want to write in french or "you're underwear too, Brutus" maybe ... I understand that it's quite difficult to keep the wordplay with this quotation. -->)<!-- Note on the note: It's actually more complex than this, because historians are arguing that the Roman aristocracy was in fact bilingual, as in being well-versed in both Latin and Greek. Some contemporary historians of Caesar wrote that he, in reaction to being attacked, exclaimed "What are you doing, you bandits!" in Greek. -->)'''
  +
  +
“Leave Brutus alone!”
  +
  +
“I am a cat, and I have yet no underwear.” (TL note: This is a parody of the opening line of Natsume Souseki’s famous novel, I am a Cat, which reads ‘I am a cat, and I have yet no name.’)
  +
  +
“Cats don’t need underwear!”
  +
  +
“Because you said ‘Hey, this tastes great!’, henceforth July the sixth shall be our Underwear Anniversary.” (TL note: This is a parody of a line from a famous poem by Tawara Machi, Salad Anniversary, which reads ‘Because you said “Hey, this tastes great!”, henceforth July the sixth shall be our Salad Anniversary.’)
  +
  +
“What kind of occasion is that!”
  +
  +
“Heaven does not create underwear above or below another underwear.” (TL note: This is a parody of a famous quote from Japanese philosopher Fukuzawa Yuichi, “It is said that heaven does not create one man above or below another man.”)
  +
  +
“What are you trying to say!”
  +
  +
“Because I have the ability to look at myself objectively, unlike your underwear!” (TL note: This is a parody of former Japanese Prime Minister, Yasuo Fukuda’s rebuttal towards a reporter: “Because I have the ability to look at myself objectively, unlike you.”)
  +
  +
“Of course you can’t!”
  +
  +
Wait...shit, I got distracted again.
  +
  +
“But, why would you want to see Konacchi’s panties? Do you like her or something?”
  +
  +
That’s what I want to ask as well.
  +
  +
“Nope, this has nothing to do with emotions.”
  +
  +
To be honest, I did feel that Yawakaze is extremely cute after our encounter, so if you were to ask me whether I like her I guess I can only agree.
  +
  +
However, it was a different kind of “Like” than what Yuuouji specified, instead it’s more of a liking in the sense of how someone would like a television celebrity.
  +
  +
“So Amacchi’s saying that you don’t care about whether you like her or not, you just want to see a girl’s panties?”
  +
  +
“Uh...I guess.”
  +
  +
“So even if it’s a girl you don’t like, you would pull off her panties and sniff them deeply?”
  +
  +
“I never said that...”
  +
  +
“So you want to grab a girl’s panties, sniff them then breathesmoochsavorlicksmelassfdgg...”
  +
  +
“Stop speaking alien!”
  +
  +
Just as I raised my voice, I heard someone else’s voice coming from behind me.
  +
  +
“Um...I’m sorry for interrupting your pleasant conversation...”
  +
  +
As I turned around, I found our class monitor staring back at me. For the record, I’m not feeling pleasant at all, and neither was our conversation.
  +
  +
Never mind that for now. Our monitor who would usually have a bright smile plastered on her face now looked at me in a somewhat fearful yet condescending fashion, I wonder why is that so?
  +
  +
Don’t tell me she overheard our conversation from earlier and she thinks that I’m actually a person who would do things like that...probably so.
  +
  +
“Amakusa-san, someone’s looking for you.”
  +
  +
I followed our monitor’s gaze.
  +
  +
“Looking for me? Now who - huh?”
  +
  +
Standing in the corridor was Yawakaze Konagi.
  +
  +
“Hey, isn’t that Yawakaze?” “Oh my goodness, she’s really damn pretty.” “Why would she be looking for Amakusa...”
  +
  +
My classmates had noticed her presence as well, and they began murmuring to each other.
  +
  +
“Ah, pantsu Konacchi is here!”
  +
  +
“Stop your nonsense!”
  +
  +
“Ah, Konacchi’s coming over with those panties that Amacchi wants to see!”
  +
  +
“That’s even worse!”
  +
  +
Mustering all the energy I could to prevent Yuuouji from following me, I rushed out the door and slammed it shut behind me.
  +
  +
“Yawakaze, why are you looking for me all of a sudden?”
  +
  +
I originally figured that she would be hear to complain about what happened this morning, but it didn’t seem like she was, and besides it’s not like she’s that kind of a person.
  +
  +
Just as I was about to ask again, she replied.
  +
  +
“Um, is this yours?”
  +
  +
In the palm of her outstretched hand was a blue checkered handkerchief.
  +
  +
“Huh? Oh, it’s mine. I didn’t even notice I dropped it.”
  +
  +
It probably fell out while I was being dragged off earlier. Now why would she personally deliver that to someone like me who gave her such a horrible first impression?
  +
  +
“Really? That’s great.”
  +
  +
Also, she doesn’t seem to be harboring any malicious intent. To think that she can still smile so innocently, is she some sort of angel descended from the heavens?
  +
  +
“I apologize for the inconvenience, and thank you as well.”
  +
  +
“Oh, um, it’s nothing, actually...”
  +
  +
Even after passing the handkerchief to me, Yawakaze didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving yet. As she saw my confused expression, she looked down in embarrassment, then said awkwardly:
  +
  +
“Actually...about this morning...”
  +
  +
There was no need to go on further since she could only be referring to the panties incident. I was contemplating how to deal with this situation, but she did it for me anyway.
  +
  +
“How should I put this...I’m really sorry.”
  +
  +
“Ah, it’s alright, I’m not here to ask for an apology. Um, to be honest I’ve never had a guy ask me anything like that before, so I was kinda at a loss for words.”
  +
  +
Understandable.
  +
  +
“So...I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed for having to say this too but...I think that stuff like panties should only be shown to the people you like.”
  +
  +
“Gah!”
  +
  +
I nearly coughed up blood. I’m not joking, isn’t this against the law or something? Where has she been living all her life to be incapable of even holding suspicion against others? Has she only been associating with saints and angels all this time? You’re telling me she hasn’t even seen the dark side of society even after living for over a decade?
  +
  +
I finally understood how her fan club must feel. No one should have her to themselves, for she belongs to everyone!
  +
  +
Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of guilt overcame me. What did I tell this girl? Let me see your panties? ...I should die.
  +
  +
“I’m really sorry!”
  +
  +
It was then that I realized that a motion like kneeling down and kowtowing isn’t a conscious motion, but rather a reflex of the body.
  +
  +
“Ah, Amakusa-san, please don’t...”
  +
  +
Despite Yawakaze’s pleading, my forehead never left the floor.
  +
  +
Right there, I swore to myself - screw all those Absolute Choices and whatnot, I’m done, go eat a pile of shit. God? To hell with him, I won’t be pushed around by anyone else any longer, if you’re not happy with that -
  +
  +
「Choose: ① “So when will you let me see your panties?”
  +
  +
② To hell with it all, just become her panties and get over with it.」
  +
  +
...And they just had to arrive now. Why would you do something like that? And I had mustered up all my courage for that too, what exactly is your problem with me? Are you an idiot? Do you wanna die?
  +
  +
...Fine, I get it, talking won’t do me any good.
  +
  +
As usual, option number 1 is terrible, but number 2 seems kinda creepy this time round. If it means what I think it does, I might not even be able to stay human.
  +
  +
If this was a computer game, I would probably have picked that option for a laugh, but there are no save nor load states in real life.
  +
  +
In the end, I could only pick ①.
  +
  +
Normally I would just pick it already and then go home to cry myself to sleep, but this was a different case. I absolutely could not allow those words to taint this pure young maiden - Yawakaze Konagi’s ears.
  +
  +
“Ugh...”
  +
  +
My head began throbbing in bursts of violent pain, as if the Choices themselves were forcing me to make a decision.
  +
  +
But right now, all I want to do is defeat this goddamn curse!
  +
  +
“AAAAAAHHHHH!”
  +
  +
I contorted my face violently in my efforts to resist the pain, but to no avail.
  +
  +
“Amakusa-san, are you alright?”
  +
  +
“No, I’m perfectly fine-AAAARRRGHGHHHHHH!”
  +
  +
The extreme pain caused me to cry out. This is bad, this is bad, this is really bad! This feels worse than any pain I’ve felt! If this goes on I’ll really die!
  +
  +
Yawakaze...please forgive me!
  +
  +
“Argh...hah...hah...so, when, will you...let me...see your panties?”
  +
  +
As I finished my sentence, the tendrils of pain coiling around my head immediately disappeared.
  +
  +
“Huh? Eh? P-panties? Didn’t I just say that you should only be showing those things to the people you like!?”
  +
  +
Yawakaze is cute even when she’s flustered. She’s so damn cute.
  +
  +
Just as I was about to lose myself in her cuteness, a hand fell upon my shoulder.
  +
  +
“Who’s - oh.”
  +
  +
I turned around to face the large guy from earlier.
  +
  +
“Please follow me for a while.”
  +
  +
===Part 4===
  +
  +
“Ow...dammit.”
  +
  +
What waited for me at our destination was once again nothing but a torrent of violent insults and equally violent beatings.
  +
  +
“What are you trying to do to Yawakaze-san!” “To think someone from the Reject Five like you would want to talk to Kona-chan, wait a hundred more years instead!” “You dare say something like that to our dear Yawakaze-chan? Just die already!” “Oh? This guy’s butt actually looks pretty good.”
  +
  +
...I hope I misheard that last one.
  +
  +
Back to the topic, this defence is a little too exaggerated. Having guards patrolling around her during every single break is pretty much borderline stalking, right?
  +
  +
At long last, I managed to drag my aching body back to my classroom.
  +
  +
“Hoho~ I see that you’ve been taught a good lesson.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji sneered at me from her seat right behind mine.
  +
  +
“Amacchi, do you need my help?”
  +
  +
“With?”
  +
  +
“You know, with Kona-chan’s panties.”
  +
  +
What the hell is she talking about now?
  +
  +
“Why?”
  +
  +
“Because it’s fun.”
  +
  +
She replied without an ounce of thought.
  +
  +
“Because it’s fun? Why, you...”
  +
  +
“Hmm? Is there something wrong? Would you like me to do boring things instead?”
  +
  +
Yuuouji replied defiantly, causing me to be momentarily at a loss for words. Using adjectives like fun and boring as objective standards for actions are clearly childish actions, contrary to her age.
  +
  +
As humans grow older, the burdens they have to carry increases, not to mention the behavior expected of them varies as well, thus the things they can do slowly decrease.
  +
  +
Sure, behavior expected of a high-schooler may not be comparable to that of, say, a social worker, but we still have such restrictions...sadly for Yuuouji, that doesn’t seem to be the case. How tragic.
  +
  +
“Let’s look at this from your position, are you sure you should be doing something like that? I’m trying to peek at your friend’s panties, you know?”
  +
  +
“Amacchi, your words don’t seem to match your actions.”
  +
  +
“Huh?”
  +
  +
Yuuouji didn’t give me a direct answer.
  +
  +
“Don’t you always say something weird or do weird things? I have a feeling that doesn’t seem to be the real you.”
  +
  +
My body tensed up unconsciously.
  +
  +
“But, it doesn’t seem like you’re acting or you have some sort of schizophrenic disorder, instead it feels like you’re being forced into doing these things, which is why that sense of reluctance is there. Are you hiding a secret?”
  +
  +
Yuuouji giggled as she finished her sentence.
  +
  +
I was speechless. She may not have guessed the existence of the Absolute Choices, but she was close enough.
  +
  +
“So, because you’re so interesting, let me observe you for a little longer!”
  +
  +
She suddenly darted forward until her forehead was mere centimeters from mine.
  +
  +
“Hey, what are you...!”
  +
  +
I hurriedly backed away.
  +
  +
Although Yuuouji is incredibly childish and immature, there’s no dispute that she’s unbelievably beautiful for her age.
  +
  +
Being a perfectly healthy and fit teenage male, there’s no way to resist such charm especially when it’s directly in front of me.
  +
  +
“Huh?”
  +
  +
Conversely, Yuuouji didn’t seem to notice anything, She...is she really sixteen?
  +
  +
No; even though she was somewhat short, her over-developed chest and the small snatch of waist revealed underneath her vest both indicated that she was way above the standard of that of a normal sixteen-year-old. It’s just that her brain’s somewhat undeveloped.
  +
  +
“Can’t you just...never mind, forget what I said.”
  +
  +
“Huh?”
  +
  +
Attempting to explain to her the attraction between people of the opposite sex would be like attempting to get a monkey to write Shakespeare. Her condition was so bad that sometimes I wonder whether she should just continue bathing with her parents or something.
  +
  +
“Heh. Amacchi, no matter how much you may hate it, you can’t escape me.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji seemed to have misunderstood my retreat. Despite the difference in character and gender, she still reminded me of a stereotypical harem male lead.
  +
  +
Every single time I see characters like those acting completely oblivious to various advances from all sorts of girls, I feel like killing someone.
  +
  +
Anyway, that’s just my pet peeve, back to the topic...Yuuouji made me realize that people like that might actually exist in the real world.
  +
  +
After seeing her manage to sniff out my predicaments so easily earlier, it’s genuinely hard to believe that she can have such a disparity between her intelligence and personality.
  +
  +
“Having went through this past month, I feel like I pretty much understand Amacchi now. I can tell that you weren’t lying earlier when you said you aren’t doing this for lecherous means.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji changed the subject in an instant, her tone dripping with confidence.
  +
  +
“I know that I shouldn’t be doing this, but do you really believe something as suspicious as that?”
  +
  +
“Is there anything strange about that? When two people have known each other for long enough, isn’t it only reasonable that they can read each other’s thoughts through gazes and gestures alone?”
  +
  +
The indignant and yet self-indulgent, honest tone that she spoke in made me question her state of mind yet again.
  +
  +
“Honestly, Konacchi has a very low immunity towards guys, so if we don’t hurry up to think of a way to peek at her panties, this might turn out poorly in future.”
  +
  +
Putting her panties aside, at least we saw eye-to-eye.
  +
  +
There aren’t exactly any students with actual disciplinary issues over here in Seiko High, and taking Yawakaze’s fan club into consideration as well, she shouldn’t be in any actual danger; but when she moves on to university in the big city, she might bump into some hooligans who would do weird things to her.
  +
  +
Well, if I were one of those hooligans I would definitely want to do weird things to her. Let me specify once again, only “If I were one of those hooligans”.
  +
  +
Speaking of which, Yuuouji’s brains only really shine when she’s thinking of helping others. Even if the subject matter is panties.
  +
  +
However, when the three of us including Yukihira are together, she seems to be able to understand all the dirty punchlines she makes, so it’s not that she doesn’t know about those things, it’s just that she fails to make the connection between those things to herself.
  +
  +
“Hmm, things are starting to get interesting.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji appeared as excited as a young child.
   
  +
“Ah...”
−
I knocked several times but there was no reaction so I reluctantly entered the room. Even with me nearby there was no sign of her waking up.
  
   
  +
As I saw her expression, I instantly realized why I felt a sense of familiarity from my very first conversation with Yawakaze.
−
"Mufufu......*mumbles*"
  
   
  +
It was because of Yuuouji.
−
I got up an hour before, washed, and even finished preparing breakfast so why is this freeloader sleeping like a log?
  
   
  +
Don’t misunderstand me, Yawakaze and Yuuouji are extremely different, in fact you could even call them polar opposites, but I’m not referring to anything material like appearances or actions. How should I put it, I’m referring to the essence of their beings.
−
"......How did this happen."
  
   
  +
Both of them could express their own true feelings without any modifications nor alterations. The closest adjective I can use to describe people like them is, well, pure.
−
While complaining about this strange creature Chocolat and how she came to live here I remembered last night.
  
   
  +
This essence of theirs could be briefly glimpsed through every single action and movement of theirs. That was why these two people could give me the same impression despite being so different otherwise.
 
 
  +
However, no matter how similar their qualities were, the nature of these qualities were extremely different, with Yawakaze being traditionally pure, in a sense.
−
"God......?"
  
   
  +
“Hehe, Konacchi, just you wait and see how I’ll show your panties to the world.”
−
"Yes, that's it."
  
   
  +
As I looked at Yuuouji who was sneering while contemplating how to get a guy to peek at her best friend’s panties, a strange phrase, ‘Impure purity’ surfaced in my mind.
−
God? This person suddenly said that. Though it was normally something to laugh off, Chocolat's eyes were intent and there was no sign of a joke.
  
   
  +
===Part 5===
−
"Ah, Kanade-san, your eyes say you don't believe."
  
   
  +
“...Sigh.”
−
"No no, but even if you suddenly say God......hmm?"
  
   
  +
I halted my footsteps right outside my own house, It seems that I’ve been sighing quite a lot these few days.
−
At that time, to fit the words, an email arrived. I took my cell out of my pocket to look at it and in the addresser's column 『God』 is listed.
  
   
  +
I was planning to apologize to Yawakaze after school, but sadly I was deterred by her bodyguards. It seems that they’ve placed their full attention on me after those two incidents.
−
God? I don't remember adding that to my contact list. And, this timing......It felt strangely eerie as I tried to open the subject 『Curse Removal Mission』.
  
   
  +
Yuuouji said that she would think of a plan by tonight, but to be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, considering the lack of resources I had at hand.
−
<Make Yukihira Furano laugh from the bottom of her heart Time limit May 8 (Wed)>
  
   
  +
As for what kind of resources would come in handy for peeking at panties, please don’t ask.
−
What's this? Yukihira? Why is her name there? The contents are too incomprehensible to even be a joke, what on earth is this thing?
  
   
  +
“Oh, Kanade-san, welcome home.”
−
While doubts chased around in my head, my cell phone's incoming call tune rang out.
 
   
  +
I pushed open the door to my house weakly only to see Chocolat skip merrily towards me.
−
"Ah, it is probably God."
  
   
  +
“Hmm? Why do you seem so down today?”
−
I jumped as I heard Chocolat's voice. When I looked down at the display it showed 『God』 just like a little
 
−
while ago.
  
   
  +
“Let’s just say the circumstances of my mission have become rather messed up.”
−
Really, the cell phone number of the other person wasn't registered. How is it possible to display the name?
 
   
  +
Chocolat suddenly sneered as she heard this,
−
Surely......on the other side of the phone was something that transcended human understanding?
  
   
  +
“Hehe~ let me tell you something, I managed to get something extremely useful for you today.”
−
"......Hello."
  
   
  +
She handed me a book. She couldn’t be referring to that 「Ten Secrets of Peeking at Women’s Panties」...right?
−
I pushed the receive call button and held it to my ear hesitantly.
  
   
  +
「Ten Surefire Methods to Acquire Women’s Panties~ You Too Can Be the Next King of Perverts!~」
−
<Hey, it's God.>
  
   
  +
“This is even worse!”
−
They replied in an unexpectedly flippant voice.
  
   
  +
T-the title says acquire, you heard me? Acquire! Also, the subtitle’s just being an asshole.
−
<Hmm hmm, hello Amakusa Kanade-kun?>
  
   
  +
Even someone without a brain would be able to tell that the contents would be just as bad as last time’s...
−
"......You, who is this?"
  
   
  +
“It took me a really long time to find this!”
−
This is......God? I felt like a fool for even starting to believe it. I felt the tension drain away and answered sloppily.
  
   
  +
However when faced with Chocolat’s bushy, waggling tail as well as her expression that seemed to be saying “Please praise me!”, I just couldn’t bring myself to reject her.
−
<Eh, God is God, Kami-sama. If you are saying I'm not then I'd like to see a so-called God.>
 
   
  +
“Fine, I’ll take a look or two.”
−
What......a flashy guy.
  
   
  +
“Here you go!”
−
"What business does God have with a guy like me?"
  
   
  +
Followed by Chocolat whose eyes were glittering in excitement, I walked over to the couch in the living room and flipped the book open.
−
Already I didn't think he was God but in order to figure things out I played along for the time being.
  
   
  +
This incredibly thick book somehow had a content summary page, so I started there.
−
"Eh? You went to the point fast? You are seriously impatient."
  
   
  +
「① Steal.」
−
Flashy, as a god or a man this fellow is flashy.
  
   
  +
Why are they using such drastic measures right off the bat!?
−
"You are really God?"
  
   
  +
「Explanation: This should only be used as a last resort.」
−
<Eh? You don't believe? You called me God a moment ago. God is seriously a world class God.>
  
   
  +
Then don’t put it at the front of the book! And don’t encourage illegal activities!
−
Yes, I don't understand what that means.
  
   
  +
「② Tears.」
−
"Please show me evidence."
  
   
  +
What’s this supposed to mean, do I have to cry while begging the other party to give me her panties or something...? Nah, too strange...probably not.
−
<Evidence?>
  
   
  +
「Explanation: An example would go something like “Sob...cry...p-please, just give me...your panties...already...huh? You don’t want to? ...Sob...don’t! Don’t...stop delaying it already...g-give them to me...sob...give...me...”」
−
"God on a cloud or thunder from a cane would do it."
  
   
  +
Don’t you know what the word “Dignity” means!?
−
Of course I don't seriously believe its possible but how can I react? The goal was to make sure.
  
   
  +
「Footnote: Your passionate tears will definitely touch her heart.」
−
<Wow, that's old. Kanade that's from ancient times! Your imagination's power is poor.>
  
   
  +
That won’t happen even if the sun rises in the west!
−
.......Frustrating. This flashy guy is frustrating. He's incredibly frustrating.
  
   
  +
「③ Use “I left my underwear at home, so could you lend me yours?” as an excuse.」
−
<However, I can do something as uncanny~, this.>
  
   
  +
Why is the tone this casual!?
−
"Therefore, the evidence?"
  
   
  +
「Explanation: Try and smile the brightest smile you can while trying this, as it’ll probably increase your chances of success.」
−
<Yes yes, how about this~>
  
   
  +
That’ll just make it seem even more disgusting!
−
Eh?
  
   
  +
「Footnote: You can always pray that she’s wearing white panties and that she would say something like “Oh, what a coincidence. Now I just have to lend them to you!”」
−
The moment the flash guy's words ended a strong sense of incongruity attacked.
  
   
  +
What normal, sane girl would do that!?
−
What......is this?
  
   
  +
「④ Syllogism.」
−
I felt uncomfortable like I wasn't myself.
  
   
  +
Syllogism? I think I heard about that somewhere before.
−
But, I didn't know why.
  
   
  +
I remember it was some logical argument that relied on making a conclusion from two other established and co-related facts, something along the lines of “Humans are mortal” -> “I am a human” -> “Therefore I am mortal”.
−
<Fufu, touch your chest.>
  
   
  +
「Explanation: Something like “All males like women’s panties.” -> “I’m a male, and you’re a woman.” -> “Therefore you must give me your panties.”」
−
My heart guessed what the flashy guy was saying.
  
   
  +
That’s the worst logic I’ve ever heard!
−
"My chest? Why......again?"
  
   
  +
「⑤ Use the Three-Step Process of acquiring panties.」
−
What's this? I have never experienced, even once, such a soft feeling in my life so far.
  
   
  +
Three-Step Process? That seems new,
−
I touched it again......*Fuyon*.
  
   
  +
「Explanation: Pull up her skirt -> Rip off her panties -> Profit.」
−
Once again.....................flabby.
  
   
  +
That’s just a description of a crime!
−
Another time...............*boing*.
  
   
  +
「Footnote: I suddenly thought up a concept of a goblin that steals panties, so I wrote it out here.」
−
<Your body, I changed it to a girl's.>
  
   
  +
Keep those things to yourself!
−
Ha? What's is he saying. Girl? What a foolish thing.
  
   
  +
「⑥ Go to those kind of shops to buy them.」
−
But, the feeling a moment ago is certainly......
  
   
  +
Slow down a little, this may be the fastest method, but it doesn’t seem right...
−
My hand, went to my crotch in reflex.
  
   
  +
「Explanation: Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy used panties.」
−
"..............................It's gone."
  
   
  +
That sentence seems deeper than it should be...
−
Thereisnothingthereisnothingthereisnothing! That which should be there isn't there! The symbol of a man isn't there!
  
   
  +
「Footnote: But used panties can bring some people happiness...what exactly is happiness?」
−
My face turned pale as the blood drained from it. I threw away the cell phone and ran to in front of the mirror in the washroom.
 
   
  +
Don’t ask me!
−
It was unmistakeably me reflected there. Eyes, nose, and mouth were the same as they have been for many years.
 
−
They were all right.
  
   
  +
「⑦ Raise your fists in the air and shot “I want a girl’s panties!”」
−
However, the face watching helplessly from the mirror was a girl's. I'm a girl. The girl is me.
  
   
  +
This was...what Oolong did, right? (TL note: This is a reference to a supporting character in Dragon Ball, Oolong, whose first wish to Shenrong was a pair of female panties.)
−
The hairstyle is still the same but it is now glossy and semi-long. Ba, its foolish......my eyes trace fearfully downwards.
  
   
  +
「Explanation: This will only end in tragedy if Shenrong’s not around.」
−
The chest. No, the swelling is breasts not a man's chest. Perhaps, I'm not sure, but is this a D cup size?
  
   
  +
Which basically means it’ll always end in tragedy!
−
This phenomenon that happened to me is impossible to neatly understand. Without realising it I start to unbutton my shirt.
  
   
  +
「⑧ It’s just a pair of panties, there’s nothing to be ashamed of!」
−
<nowiki>*Blush*</nowiki>. The two of them, very clearly hanging from my upper body......are undoubtedly breasts.
  
   
  +
I bet you just wanted to write this for the hell of it!
−
"Fu......fufu......"
  
   
  +
「Explanation: Sorry, i just put this one in for fun.」
−
I took a deep breath after weakly laughing.
  
   
  +
I knew it!
−
"Gyaaaaaaa!"
  
   
  +
「⑨ Join Underwear-ism.」
−
Immediately after screaming I ran to the living room.
  
   
  +
Now what the hell is that...
−
"Ah, woman, woman, I'm, a woman!"
  
   
  +
「Explanation: When attending any one of their meetings, members are only permitted to wear a single piece of underwear.」
−
Still confused I shouted at Chocolat.
 
   
  +
If this thing really exists it must be some sort of paradise for males.
−
"Please settle down, Kanade-chan."
  
   
  +
「Footnote: Only males are allowed to join.」
−
"Who's Kanade-chan<ref>-chan is normally used for women or small children of either sex. </ref>.....eh?"
 
   
  +
Ugh!
−
I gave her the straightman's<ref>Tsukkomi - The straightman in a comedy duo who reacts to the sillyness of the 'boke' partner. </ref> reply. I noticed my voice had changed, it changed to something sweet like a character in an anime.
  
   
  +
「⑩ Steal.」
−
[[image:NoucomeVol1 091.jpg|thumb]]
  
   
  +
Now we’re back to square one!?
−
I grabbed the mobile lying on the floor.
  
   
  +
「Explanation: I...uh, really can’t think of a tenth one.」
−
"Wh-why is my torso like this!?"
  
   
  +
Then don’t write the book in the first place!
−
<What's wrong, you seem to be panicking.>
  
   
  +
「Footnote: Never mind, since you’ve read this far, I’m sure you’ll be able to think of even more ways to acquire women’s panties.」
−
"It's not there, that which should be at my crotch isn't there!"
  
   
  +
Bullshit, you just couldn’t think of another way!
−
<What, what isn't there~>
  
   
  +
「Good luck!」
−
"So, you, my pen<ref>He cuts himself off part way through saying penis, only getting out 'Chin' which means the same as the english word.</ref>--!"
  
   
  +
Shut up!
−
The moment I tried to say the word my face went intensely red and felt hot...what's this?
  
   
  +
“Bullshit...this is complete bullshit.”
−
<What's that, I heard chin.>
  
   
  +
I had already mentally prepared myself for the worst, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.
−
"The chin between my legs...where they meet."
  
   
  +
“Hmm, was it that bad? The insider reports on Underwear-ism were pretty interesting.”
−
It's useless, it's too shameful to continue anymore. Surely... not being able to say it is because my thinking has changed to a girl's?
  
   
  +
“Bleh...I bet you just like it because you’re a fujoshi.” (TL note: Fujoshi refers to a female that likes yaoi, commonly referred to as boy’s love: BL.)
−
"Kanade-chan, why are you in agony?"
  
   
  +
“Also, this book actually has ninety percent of it covering that topic.”
−
"Don't call me Kanade-chan!"
  
   
  +
“Which basically means the title is complete crap!”
−
<Ahaha, Kanade-chan's cute.>
  
   
  +
Needless to say, this must be UOG’s fault. It may not have been directly penned by Yuuouji, but anyone seeing this would definitely have their impressions of her take a huge hit.
−
"Shut up! And return me to a man immediately!"
  
   
  +
“Kanade-san, here.”
−
<Eh? It's good. Such an experience doesn't happen even once a lifetime.>
  
   
  +
Chocolat suddenly stretched her head towards me...does she want me to pet it?
−
"That's right. Such an experience takes 100 reincarnations to get."
  
   
  +
“Hehe.”
−
<Look, that's well said. Do you want to stop being a boy? Or stop being a person?>
  
   
  +
I’ll do just that then. Chocolat’s tail shot up straight while her head was being stroked, and she began smiling from ear to ear.
−
"Don't say that! Why is being a man like being on a dangerous drug!?"
  
   
  +
Alright, since she bought this book for my sake anyway, if this makes her happy I won’t be stingy about it. To be honest, she’s still pretty cute this way.
−
My frustration went into my words.
  
   
  +
Don’t get me wrong, I’m referring to the kind of cute as in how a master would call his pet cute -
−
"It's best to return quickly to being a man."
  
   
  +
“What are you doing this time?”
   
  +
Chocolat suddenly put her hands on her hips and puffed up her chest.
−
[Choose ① Spend your lifetime as a girl ② Do a three point handstand and call out the name of your favorite person from history]
  
   
  +
“Here, praise me more.”
   
  +
Didn’t I just pet you?
−
"John Manjiro!"
  
   
  +
“What’s that, you don’t need to be shy, OK? Here, use all the praises you know and shower me with them...ah, unless you’re dwarfed by the sheer extent of my greatness? Hmm, then use material things to reward me instead. Right, tonight I intend on eating Wagyu beef -” (TL note: Wagyu beef is a type of premier Japanese beef.)
−
"Kanade-chan, what are you doing?"
  
   
  +
“Oi, don’t go too far.”
−
"I want to hear that!"
  
   
  +
I flicked her forehead lightly.
−
As I did the handstand I exclaimed that to Chocolat.
  
   
  +
“Ow! K-Kanade-san’s bullying me...”
−
After confirming the disappearance of the choices, I instantly stopped the handstand, and picked up the thrown cellphone again.
  
   
  +
Her tail sagged flatly. How does that thing even work?
−
"It feels good to return to a man so quickly."
  
   
  +
“Ah, Kanade-san, earlier you said that you bumped into some difficulties. So you met Yawakaze-san already?”
−
<Eh? Isn't that a waste of tears?>
  
   
  +
Chocolat transitioned from being at the verge of tears to smiling once again in a mere ten seconds, once again displaying her ability to undergo extreme mood swings.
−
"Be quiet, reverse it!"
  
   
  +
“You could say that...”
−
<Buu, it can't be helped.>
  
   
  +
In order to change the subject from all that praising, I told Chocolat about everything that had happened.
−
After the disatisfied voice replied, the sense of incompatibility disappeared rapidly. Each spot was rapidly groped. There were no breasts and there was that.
  
   
  +
“I see. To think that they actually took notice of Kanade-san’s butt, there must be some really strong ones over in her fan club.”
−
"Haaa..."
  
   
  +
Although she did end up placing her attention on what was arguably the most unimportant detail of the whole story, that once again piqued my curiosity on the guy’s sexuality.
−
My strength drained away and I sank down.
 
   
  +
“Speaking of which, Yawakaze’s just too innocent, so I kinda feel bad for having to drag her into things like this.”
−
<Well well, are you inclined to believe a little?>
  
   
  +
“Hmm, I see. Fine, in order to minimize your potential guilt, I’ll rehearse with you for a while.”
−
Ku...If these types of things are shown I can't help but admit the person is at least not a human.
 
   
  +
“Wait, why?”
−
Such a playful guy is seriously a god?
  
   
  +
I didn’t know what to think of that proposition.
−
The fellow on the phone read my silence as agreement.
  
   
  +
“There aren’t that many people around that are more innocent than me. Here, I’ll chat with you, anything to make you happy!:
−
<Okay, now that our friendship has deepened, let's get down to business.>
  
   
  +
I get it, this little puppy doesn’t have any shred of self-awareness. I’ll just use this opportunity to point that out.
−
Friendship? If you say that seriously I'll think your brain is rotten.
  
   
  +
“Chocolat, I’m going to tell you something very important - innocence may be similar to airheaded-ness at first glance, but they’re actually very far apart.”
−
<Even though it is related to your curse.>
  
   
  +
“Hmm? So that Yawakaze-san’s an airhead?”
−
"My...curse?"
  
   
  +
“I’m referring to you!”
−
A little while ago Chocolat also said that phrase.
  
   
  +
“H-huh?”
−
<Well, your case, hmm...it was it was. In your head appears a floating thing that makes you choose, I think?>
  
   
  +
“Don’t you ‘Huh?’ me!”
−
"Ah, it's Absolute Choices."
  
   
  +
“Oh, I get it. So your eyes are just useless holes.”
−
<Absolutely choices, ~wow, Kanade-kun, that's a painful name. Chuunibyou<ref>8th grade syndrome, where 2nd year middle school kids think they have developed a superpower or are part of a secret society etc</ref>-ish.>
  
   
  +
“Your BRAIN is a useless hole!”
−
"U......"
  
   
  +
===Part 6===
−
Because there was little opportunity to say it out loud it I didn't consider that and felt some shame from naming it that.
  
   
  +
The next day, the first thing that Yuuouji said as she stepped into class was:
−
<Oh dear, but that's one way to call it. So, the method of removing the curse.>
  
   
  +
“Aye, Commander of the Conquest for Yawakaze’s Panties, Amacchi, good morning!”
−
The talk got to the important part. I held my breath as I waited for the flashy god's words.
  
   
  +
“Too loud, too long and too confusing!”
−
<Well, speaking frankly it seems to be handling missions that are sent to you.>
  
   
  +
I wouldn’t really have minded if any of my classmates had heard that, but if anyone within the Yawakaze fan club were to hear that I shudder to think of my potential fate. Yuuouji dragged me over to her seat and asked:
−
"The mission......Was it possibly sent as a strange sentence to my phone a while ago?"
  
   
  +
“Amacchi, have you figured out a good way to get a glimpse of Konacchi’s panties?”
−
Possibly the incomprehensible message talking about Yukihira laughing.
  
   
  +
I shook my head. I got a feeling that the main problem we were dealing with wasn’t the methods available.
−
<Oh, seriously? Truly, that is good timing.>
  
   
  +
Although technically I could forcefully pull up her skirt to expose her panties, I felt that it would be too immoral, and besides I don’t have the balls.
−
I felt caught up by the flashy god's manner of speaking.
  
   
  +
So I sacrificed my sleep and thought through the night, but sadly to no avail.
−
"Wait a second. I've had this vague feeling for a bit, by chance, do you not understand it all?"
  
   
  +
“Konacchi’s an extreme airhead, so there’s the possibly that she might trip over and expose her panties in the process.
−
<Yes, rather I mean I hardly understand it.>
  
   
  +
Hmm, she did after all display her talent for falling over during our very first encounter. It’s just that she follows the school rules to the book, so her skirt is longer than most girls here, completely different from Yuuouji’s which was way shorter than most.
−
Without hesistation the flashy god declared that.
  
   
  +
Basically even if she were to fall over in an extremely exaggerated manner with her butt in the air and all, I don’t think her panties would even come close to showing. I shouldn’t be expecting something like that to happen.
−
"I almost trusted......aren't you a god?~"
  
   
  +
Not to mention that I just can’t entrust my fate to random chance based on the currently limited time that I have.
−
<Yep that's right. I only just became in charge of your world. Because my predecessor retired after not succeeding well its very serious. >
  
   
  +
“We could also try to copy the typical shoujo manga style, you know like when she’s rushing to school because she’s late, intentionally dash out the corner she’s turning and bump into her. You never know, she might be biting onto a pair of panties instead of a half-eaten piece of bread.” (TL note: In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘panties’ and ‘bread’ is similar.)
−
"Predecessor......what does that mean, are there a lot of gods?"
  
   
  +
“Bullshit! Who the hell would mistake panties for toast like that!?”
−
"There's far more than a lot, they sweep and throw them away. Hey, there's a myriad of gods."
  
   
  +
“Hmm, if you put it as toast it doesn’t sound similar any longer.”
−
Sweep and throw away......when you say such words their importance is decreased.
  
   
  +
“Come on, just because two things sound similar it doesn’t mean they look similar.”
−
This flashy god is probably even on the lower side of the range of infinite gods, can it understand? If this was the one and only god it
 
−
would be unpleasant.
  
   
  +
“Huh, but don’t Inoki and Koinoki look similar?” (TL note: She’s referring to Japanese wrestlers Antonio Inoki and Antonio Koinoki.)
−
<Because the curse is particular to your world group, the reason is difficult to understand.>
  
   
  +
“That’s because it’s an intentional imitation!”
−
If this story is true then the flashy god has become quite useless for this matter.
  
   
  +
Are you kidding me...fine, she’s actually kidding me.
−
"About the curse, is there some way to ask the predecessor somehow?"
  
   
  +
“Heh, relax, Amacchi. I was just fooling around earlier, but I do have a secret weapon up my sleeve.”
−
<Ah, that's impossible. I told you it had retired.>
  
   
  +
Yuuouji pulled out a suspicious-looking bottle from her pocket.
−
"Retirement? What on earth reason would a person who is a god have to move down from the topline?"
  
   
  +
“Hey...that’s not「Abazuren Z」again, is it?”
−
<Maternity leave.>
  
−
"Huh~"
  
   
  +
“Nah it’s not, it’s too dangerous, so it got confiscated.”
−
<Maternity leave for the baby to be born.>
  
   
  +
That was good news. She has her own problems to deal with, while UOG has its corporate morals to uphold.
−
"A baby? God's?"
  
   
  +
It was a world-famous transnational corporation after all, which made complete sense, but they still had exceptions like UOG Publishings...anyway it’s a good thing they recalled a product like that.
−
<Kanade-kun, you seem to be misunderstanding something, even gods eat, sleep if tired, and we look favorably on sex too.>
  
   
  +
“So, here’s my newly concocted drug, ta-dah~!”
−
The last......is a bit more than needed to be said.
  
   
  +
Yuuouji raised the bottle and yelled.
−
"But, even if you said retirement it is maternity leave? Without a serious injury isn't there a way to contact them for a report?"
  
   
  +
Hmm...can things like those really be made over the span of a single night?
−
<Ah, no no. She was apparently seriously shocked and has set up a barrier and locked herself inside.>
  
   
  +
“Here, for you.”
−
"Shocked? Even though it is auspicious to be pregnant?"
 
   
  +
I took the bottle from her, feeling about ten percent anticipation and ninety percent fear while doing so. The liquid within the bottle was somewhat sticky, so it’s probably for external application and not for consumption. Looking at the label, the product’s name was hand-written on it.「Skirt-lifting Ointment」. A frank yet uncreative name like that began slowly pushing my feelings of anticipation towards zero.
−
<Somehow, the pregnancy was at the end of an extramaritial affair and the wife yelled 『This thieving cat!』 and slapped her.>
  
   
  +
“Don’t tell me you’re going to say something like as long as I rub this on her she’ll have the desire to lift up her skirt?”
−
"That's like a common daytime drama?"
  
   
  +
“Yep, that’s exactly it.”
−
What are you doing God?
  
   
  +
Yuuouji nodded cheerfully, but I wasn’t about to buy it just like that.
−
<So she is obstructing anyone opposed to her giving birth to the child and making her a target. However to put it another way, she will come out if it is born safely.>
  
   
  +
「Abazuren Z」may have good effects as an aphrodisiac, but achieving an effect like that of this「Skirt-lifting Ointment」seemed too good to be true. In fact, it was almost like magic.
−
"By the way......how long is a god's pregancy?"
  
   
  +
“To be precise, they’ll end up lifting up their skirts. The area that this ointment is applied on will momentarily be extra sensitive towards pain, so for example if one were to rub it on her thigh she would feel extremely uncomfortable just if their skirt were to brush past the area.”
−
<Yeah, it is around 10,000 years in your world's terms.>
  
   
  +
Well, at least that makes more sense.
−
"I'll be dead a hundred times!"
  
   
  +
“So is this dangerous?”
−
I didn't think the common sense of a human worked but that's far away from the normal nine months.
 
   
  +
“Ah, calm down, the effects wear off very quickly. I used my mom as a test subject this morning.”
−
<However, I'm in her office now and it is a huge mess of scattered documents. The only part about the curse I could scrape up is seriously troublesome, and this room stinks.>
  
   
  +
“What do you take your mother as!”
−
Gods......are they even fit for it?
  
   
  +
I seem to recall that her mother had been used as a guinea pig for「Azaburen Z」as well.
−
<A question Kanade-kun, are there parts of the situation I don't understand? It's written here 『With respect to Amakusa Kanade of the 49th
 
−
world, our grasp of the irregularity doesn't seem right and it's expected there will be considerable difficulties in releasing it.
 
−
Therefore I dispatched the most qualified person.』 It's at your side? You can ask the child for details.>
  
   
  +
“My mother’s a huge M anyway, so she naturally enjoys being experimented on or being someone’s lab rat.” (TL note: M = Masochist)
−
Supporting role? Judging from the situation it is probably, maybe Chocolat......would waiting to hear be a mistake?
 
   
  +
“Isn’t that a little too unexpected!?”
−
I thought I heard him say most excellent?
  
   
  +
Huge M? Kyouka Yuuouji? To someone who’s used to seeing her calm demeanor delivering speeches on television like me, I just can’t imagine the thought.
−
<With all this, I don't have free time, so if I learn more I'll call back. Byebye~>
  
   
  +
“Let me just ask...what happened?”
−
"Oh, Oi......"
  
   
  +
“She was in so much pain she began crying out, and immediately took her skirt off.”
−
Though it was the flashy god who tried to end the talk he soon stopped.
  
   
  +
“Throw that stuff away NOW!”
−
<Oh, wait a moment. I found an important part, if you fail a mission even once, the curse will last for your entire life.>
  
   
  +
Jokes may be jokes, but fantasizing can sometimes go too far.
−
"Ha? It said that......"
  
   
  +
Deducing from Yuuouji’s age, her mother must be at the very least in her thirties, but from all her appearances in media she seems to be no older than twenty.
−
<See you.>
  
   
  +
To have such a beauty like her take off her skirt...that must be heaven.
−
"No, wait a moment."
  
   
  +
Nonononono, why am I fantasizing about my classmate’s mom like that? Am I a pervert?
−
<nowiki>*click*</nowiki>
  
   
  +
“You can’t just use something this potent on Yawakaze.”
−
The call was ended, cut off onesidedly.
  
   
  +
“But my mom later was very happy about it. She even said it felt pretty good.”
−
From the call history I found God's number and redialed it but got the artificial voice that's often heard.
  
   
  +
“Only your mom would say things like that!”
−
<The number you have dialed is in a world were radio waves do not reach and since there is no power supply the call can not be connected.>
  
   
  +
If any of her fans were to hear that, they would definitely go mad.
−
What is that!
  
   
  +
Also, instead of using something like that, I’d rather lift up her skirt myself.
−
I unintentionally dropped it to the floor.
  
   
  +
“Sigh...”
−
"Oh, is the call over?"
  
   
  +
As expected, Yuuouji’s plan ended up being completely useless.
−
Chocolat who was watching the television from the sofa called over with a carefree voice.
  
   
  +
But, I guess I don’t have the right to judge her considering I’ve yet to think of a back-up plan myself. Isn’t there any form of inspiration that I can utilize to complete this mission?
−
That's it. You are in such a relaxing mood. In my parent's house?
  
   
  +
“Ah!”
−
"Chocolat-kun, just a moment."
  
   
  +
Yuuouji looked towards the window and cried out in surprise, albeit silently. Students from the class next to ours were donned in tracksuits and currently all heading towards the stairs. I kinda feel bad for them for having to take PE lessons first thing in the day.
−
"Yes, what will it be?"
  
   
  +
“Hmm, Class 2 and Class 9, they should be attending PE lessons together with Konacchi’s Class 15.”
−
Chocolat swiftly swallowed the cookies and happily came over.
  
   
  +
I knew Yuuouji had a great memory, but I didn’t think she would bother with memorizing meaningless things like that.
−
"I want to check a few things, first of all, did your memories return?"
  
   
  +
“Girls typically take much longer than guys, which means they’re probably still changing...and so must Konacchi.”
−
"Ah, yes. I almost can recall things."
  
   
  +
Yuuouji sneered.
−
I gave a sigh of relief at her ear to ear grin. Even if she is a fool she is the only source of information left to me. I'm still anxious for the most part......
 
   
  +
“Right, I’ll launch a sneak attack on the changing room!”
−
"Why can't I remember my own name."
  
   
  +
“Ah! Wait!”
−
Name? It's good that it is indeed a trivial thing she can't recall. Whether it is Chocolat, Parfait, or even Konjac, that has nothing to do with my absolute choice.
  
   
  +
“Whoosh whoosh!”
−
"Then, please teach me all you know."
  
   
  +
Before I could stop her, Yuuouji had already jumped off her chair and dashed off into the corridor like the wind.
−
"Unfortunately, that's impossible."
  
   
  +
“I’m back!”
−
"......Huh?"
  
   
  +
A few minutes later, Yuuouji once again crashed her way into the class, then braked sharply right in front of me, producing a rather unpleasant shrieking noise from her shoes.
−
"There's no information for me to teach Kanade-san."
  
   
  +
“Reporting to Captain Amakusa, Konacchi’s panties are sexier than expected, over!”
−
"No, even if you don't remember your name......"
  
   
  +
A few guys in the vicinity immediately turned to look at us.
−
"Yes, I've remembered I don't know anything."
  
   
  +
“Watch it, you’re too loud!”
−
"Huh?"
  
   
  +
“The color is just like everyone else’s, it’s white, over!”
−
"Umm, well, even though there was originally the memory loss the things, I recalled it then forgot again."
  
   
  +
“Just shut up already!”
−
In a word, double memory loss, it has returned to a memory loss and......what is that.
  
   
  +
Do you want to frame me by convincing others it was me who sent you to do it or something!?
−
"Fufufu. Thus, even I am surprised I don't understand anything."
  
   
  +
“Anyway, it’s useless even if you were to see it.”
−
"Yes......I'm also surprised at your self-satisfied face."
  
   
  +
I pulled her over to a corner and whispered to her.
−
That's the end of that......already I'm in a pinch.
  
   
  +
“Hehe, Amacchi, don’t look down on UOG’s skills.”
−
No, is it too early to give up? Chocolate is a resident(?) of that world and if I ask her questions what might come out.
  
   
  +
“Hmm? What’s that supposed to mean?”
−
"Because I need to know, please explain step-by-step. First of all how did you come to my place?"
  
   
  +
Yuuouji pulled out a pencil-shaped object from her chest pocket. The object was emitting a shiny luster akin to that of a metal, and it had a somewhat futuristic feel to it.
−
"Oh, yes. Without memories I found myself addicted to daily sweets and found a connoisseur. Amakusa Kanade-san, I'm to help you remove your curse."
  
   
  +
“This is one of the top secret pencil-shaped cameras my family has been developing, it’s able to scan the images left behind on a person’s cornea and project them into 3D images even in thin air!”
−
"Indeed?"
  
   
  +
It can project the images left behind on a person’s cornea? Does technology as advanced as that really exist now? Although I wouldn’t dare to confidently deny the possibility that UOG may possess such things, considering how it’s at the peak of worldwide technological development...
−
"That's it."
  
   
  +
“I was joking, it would be too easy if things like that existed.”
−
"Huh?"
  
   
  +
“How dare you lie to me!”
−
"You see, I have to stay by the target, a human being, that is affected by a curse, without doing anything."
  
   
  +
A few precious seconds of my life was spent on thinking of useless possibilities just like that.
−
What?......Something about this feels fatally wrong.
  
   
  +
“Don’t get angry now, Amacchi. My eyes really have Konacchi’s image left imprinted on them~”
−
"No, I know nothing."
  
   
  +
She pulled out a notebook, and began using the pencil (it was actually just a pencil) to draw.
−
"I don't know it either."
  
   
  +
“Hmm. Here, it’s done!”
−
Above Chocolat and my head a mark was appearing.
  
   
  +
I was shocked speechless as I took the notebook from her.
−
"Kanade-san, can I ask a question?"
  
   
  +
“This is...”
−
After a silent moment Chocolat raised her hand vigorously.
  
   
  +
The quality of the drawing was way beyond what I had imagined, with every single detail from the patterns of the lace to the brand of the manufacturer, it was almost like an actual photo. How many useless talents does this fellow have anyway?
−
"Although I checked, but Amakusa Kanade isn't hiding from loans and is really 『A・magusa・Ganadouru』 right?"
  
   
  +
“Now that you know what to expect from your target, it should be easier for you now to make your move.”
−
"Who is that?"
  
   
  +
“Is that so?”
−
"This world repeats (External time) and (Internal time) every day. When it is in internal time, (Magical beasts) who are malicious towards humanity, start attacking all at once, that's how it is right?"<ref> Translate by Kouen no Ten for me. It might be a reference to a manga but the next line seems to mock it.</ref>
  
   
  +
“Of course, now you don’t need to waste your time asking her「What kind of panties are you wearing?」.”
−
"What's with that 2nd year of junior high setting!"
  
   
  +
“Now why would I do that!”
−
"Kanade-san, listen to the fall, the consciousness of the ancient warrior that dwells in the body is awake, when I think the strongest robot of today 『Eldoraon』 is summoned."
  
   
  +
Then again, I had asked way worse questions just yesterday.
−
"No, that's enough......that's already enough."
  
   
  +
“Then how about saying something like「I saw through what kind of panties you were wearing long ago!」just to scare her?”
−
"Really? Ah, by the way Kanade-san, isn't it time to go to bed soon?"
  
   
  +
“Why the hell do I have to phrase it like a line from an action manga?”
−
"Ah? What are you talking about. It is still too early."
  
   
  +
“Hmm...the overall body lets off a fragrant yet exotic scent, the details are unbelievably intricate, the art is an absolute feast for the eyes, not to mention the powerful taste of the item itself, as well as the unique tangy flavor of the silk material...clearly this deserves a perfect score.”
−
"Eh? Because in this world, the causal body transformation of Kanade-san, the internal time sleeps right?"
  
   
  +
“Stop your bullshit!”
−
"Is that the case! Tomorrow just come!"
  
   
  +
I could tell that she was attempting to describe the sketch in terms of, say, that used in a cooking manga, but sadly she was trying too hard.
−
"This......what does two bodies mean?"
  
   
  +
“It’s not like I like that pair of panties anyway!”
−
The telephone call with the flashy god a little while ago, Chocolat's discrepancy of recognition, after considering the various situations, did God send to the wrong world?
  
   
  +
“No normal tsundere would ever be caught dead saying that!”
−
Supposing a parallel world exists, where A・magusa (usually called Amakusa Kanade) exists instead of me, and was to receive a most troublesome curse, Chocolat was supposed to go.
  
   
  +
Forget it, if she wants to screw around, I’ll let her.
−
This hypothesis, I said to Chocolat with a clap of my hands.
  
   
  +
“Anyway, if I don’t arrange for you and Konacchi to meet up you won’t ever see them right?”
−
"To me, who was dispatched with the general knowledge and language of the world automatically installed in my head, it all felt too different."
  
   
  +
Yuuouji has this habit of steering the conversation far away from the topic then suddenly bringing it back again, something which I have yet to get used to.
−
......In simple, a dead end. The strange creature in front of me in order to remove the Absolute Choice, in conclusion isn't of any use.
  
   
  +
“You’re right, but with the surveillance from her bodyguards...”
−
I, while smiling ear-to-ear put my hand on Chocolat's shoulder.
  
   
  +
Those acts of sexual harassment from yesterday were enough to get me on their radar. Well, I was technically asking for it.
−
"Please return."
  
   
  +
“Hmm, the Yawakaze Guard...I’ve got it, just leave everything to me!”
−
"What do you mean?"
  
   
  +
Yuuouji thumped her chest once and said:
−
"Ah?"
  
   
  +
“Fine, I’ll go get ready, so let’s talk again during our afternoon break.”
−
"Until the subject of the curse that the assistant is assigned to is released from their curse the assistant can't return."
  
   
  +
As she spoke, that sneer of hers once again surfaced...can I really trust her with this?
−
"......Why?"
  
   
  +
Soon enough, our afternoon break arrived.
−
"I don't know why."
  
   
  +
“Sorry for keeping you waiting. We can’t waste any time here, let’s go!”
−
"You don't know why?"
  
   
  +
I followed the easily excitable Yuuouji out of class. When we were approaching Class 8 that was located in the middle of the hallway, however, we found a male student standing in the middle of the corridor, blocking our path.
−
"I don't understand it."
  
   
  +
“Hold it, that guy can’t pass here.”
−
"So, when will you understand it?"
  
   
  +
I will never forgot that muscular body and those thick eyebrows. He was that very third-year who dragged me off for my punishment yesterday.
−
"Kanade-san these cookies you made are delicious."
  
   
  +
“Hmm? Isn’t this Todou-senpai, captain of the Yawakaze Guard?” (TL note: I’m translating from Chinese so this may not be correct, for reference the original text is 藤堂, edits welcome. Also, remove this when done.)
−
"You aren't joking?"
  
   
  +
As he heard Yuuouji’s remark, the third-year who apparently was named Todou was apparently shocked, and his eyebrows raised slightly. From his stance I could kind of tell that he might be the ringleader of that little troupe, and his reaction all but confirmed my suspicions.
−
"Now, Kanade-san lets settle down and eat the delicious dinner."
  
   
  +
“You’re Yuuouji Ouka of the「Reject Five」...why would Yawakaze-san have a friend like you?”
−
Certainly I'm hungry, but this issue isn't settled, as usual I can't understand this person."
  
   
  +
Todou-senpai glared at Yuuouji as if she was annoying him. I can’t say I don’t completely understand how he’s feeling.
−
"Salmon meuniere is it? In the refrigerator is a prepared salad with vegetable relish and meat."
  
   
  +
I’m sure that when he thinks of the girl he likes - and such a pure one at that - was friends with someone like Yuuouji, he must be incredibly worried that she might be contaminated by Yuuouji’s horrible influence.
−
I don't like entrusting the kitchen to a stranger but with my confused mental state I couldn't bring myself to cook.
  
   
  +
Conversely, it’s a miracle that Yawakaze could remain so pure even after making friends with someone like her.
−
"Understood, then I'll order that."
  
   
  +
“Senpai, we’re just here to speak to Konacchi for a while, so could you let us pass~”
−
"Hmm?"
  
   
  +
“Nope. I’m alright with you going through, but that Amakusa Kanade over there seems to have malicious intentions towards our Yawakaze-san, so definitely not.”
−
Chocolat tilted her head in puzzlement.
  
   
  +
“It’s not that bad. We just want to look at her panties.”
−
"I don't know how to do that?"
  
   
  +
...Yuuouji-san, isn’t that pretty much a malicious intention?
−
"Ah? Not even salad of salmon meuniere?"
  
   
  +
As expected, Todou-senpai replied while glaring at us even more viciously.
−
"? I'd like to eat that."
  
   
  +
“No matter what?”
−
"I am making that!"
  
   
  +
“No matter what.”
−
Decide, decide! This person can return to its world, the how doesn't matter. There is not the slightest reason for keeping such an unhelpful person.
 
   
  +
Upon seeing Senpai’s reaction, Yuuouji smiled even brighter.
−
"Hey, Chocolat, leave this house."
  
   
  +
“I guess there’s no other way then.”
   
  +
She went on her tiptoes next to Todou-senpai and began whispering in his ear.
−
[Choose ① I already give up and let Chocolat freeload, ② I give up and I leave.]
  
   
  +
After a short while -
   
  +
“- !”
−
Why!
 
   
  +
It was the first time in my life that I witnessed someone’s facial expression undergo a complete transition from anger to paleness in such a short time.
−
......There was a scene that was hard to describe afterwards. Now it is the morning and I barely slept due to various ideas running through my brain.
  
   
  +
“H-how did you -!”
−
"Supi-"
  
   
  +
Todou-senpai’s powerful and intimidating stance from earlier completely disappeared. Even the roughness in his voice disappeared as well.
−
......This.
  
   
  +
“Heheh, Senpai, what do you think would happen if Konacchi were to hear that?”
−
This sleeping face, it is too peaceful, it is at the level you hesitate to interupt it, but breakfast has to begin soon or there won't be enough margin to attend school on time.
  
   
  +
“W-wait just a second! P-please...don’t do anything rash! I’m willing to do anything!”
−
"Hey, wake up."
  
   
  +
“Hmm...anything?”
−
I tried a light shake, with absolutely no sign that it was working. The moment I added a bit of strength.
  
   
  +
When faced with Yuuouji’s devilishly posed question, even Todou-senpai could only nod pitifully without hesitation. This woman...what did she tell him?
−
"Ah......Kanade-san."
  
   
  +
“Even run ten laps around our school track half naked?”
−
Chocolat, with a start trembled, and randomly called out in an erotic voice.
  
   
  +
“Yes!”
−
"Kanade-san.......Kanade-san, harder there......"
  
   
  +
He actually agreed.
−
Hmm? What on earth?
  
   
  +
“What about the same thing but with your lower half naked?”
−
"Ah, Kanade-san's hole then the hole is where the tentacle?"<ref>I might be missing a pun here where he mistake's a similar word, not sure.</ref>
  
   
  +
“I’ll do it!”
−
......Hole? Tentacle? Never.....
  
   
  +
He actually agreed!”
−
"Kanade-san's back virtue......ohh!"
  
   
  +
“What about entering a bathtub complete naked?”
−
This person......is corrupt.
  
   
  +
“I’ll do it!”
−
"Oh......Kanade-san, that's a very agonized face, oh dear so good."
  
   
  +
That’s just a normal bath!”
−
......It was not necessary to stay away from this person. I realised the solution was to close the nose and mouth and then breathing
 
−
wasn't possible.
  
   
  +
“Haha, it’s fine, I won’t go that far. I just need you all, not just you, but even the other members of the Guard to turn a blind eye to anything Amacchi and I do to Konacchi, OK?”
−
"......hmm?......fu?......miyufu"
  
   
  +
“You...you want me to let a pervert like him...”
−
After giving out a strange sound, Chocolate finally awoke. She glanced around half asleep, and the moment her eyes saw me she said "Ah, Kanade-san, good morning!"
  
   
  +
A person like him who actually agreed casually to streak naked around the school somehow had difficulties with this request.
−
She instantly flashed a big smile that lit up her face.
  
   
  +
Am I really that horrible of a person in his eyes...
−
"A-Ah, morning."
  
   
  +
“Hmm~ I won’t just tell Konacchi then, I’ll even tell it to every single member of the Guard, I’m sure the results will be entertaining~”
−
Seeing the carefree smile I turned away by reflex. Even without makeup her features were well formed.
  
   
  +
“Urgh! I-I get it! I won’t let them touch you, so please don’t do anything rash!”
−
Additionally, the borrowed pajama's were dishevelled and a splendid amount of bare skin was exposed. Furthermore she didn't seem to mind that she was in a completely defenseless state.
  
   
  +
Todou-senpai said while stretching out an arm as if to request help.
−
"Kanade-san, what is it?"
  
   
  +
“Thanks, Senpai. My mouth doesn’t run, so just relax and nothing will happen.”
−
"I-It's nothing."
  
   
  +
Yuuouji shook his hand then swaggered past him with arrogant footsteps...how is anyone going to relax with a person like you around?
−
Even though I understood Chocolat wasn't a human with my head, having a girl of approximately my age around still affected my emotions. While I was confused by myself I unconsciously looked down.
  
   
  +
I merely nodded apologetically towards him and began following after her.
−
"Oh, you mean."
  
   
  +
“What exactly did you tell him?”
−
Chocolat seeing my appearance replied with a slightly guilty tone of voice.
  
   
  +
“Haha, everyone has one or two secrets that they wish to take with them to the grave.”
−
"I'm half asleep, and my covering the carpet in drool is exposed?"
  
   
  +
Um, the problem is how you managed to get hold of one of such secrets. The fact that she could smile as purely as a child after threatening someone like that was even scarier.
−
"What kind of sleeping posture is that!"
  
   
  +
After experiencing Yuuouji’s true capabilities once again, we arrived outside Class 15, aka Yawakaze’s class.
−
I felt stupid for feeling like she was of the opposite sex.
  
   
  +
“Pardon me -!”
   
  +
Yuuouji pulled open the door violently as if to cause a ruckus, attracting the attention of many.
−
"Oohh, it is amazing."
  
   
  +
“Hey, aren’t those two from Class 1...” “Those are Amakusa and Yuuouji from the「Reject Five」right?” “She was the one that ran into the changing room while we were changing in the morning, right?” “Yuuouji’s so cute.”
−
Chocolat cried out exaggeratedly when she saw the breakfast displayed on the table.
  
   
  +
Yuuouji ignored the gazes that she had stolen from virtually everyone present. It’s exactly moments like these that I’m really jealous of attention-grabbers like her; while common plebeians like me can only remain in her shadows.
−
I could hardly bring myself to cook yesterday and just ate cup noodles. When you eat those ready made things the nutrition is only partial and it adds up to nothing good.
  
   
  +
“Oh, Konacchi~”
−
A result of the practice of cooking for myself is the way it made Chocolat's eyes sparkle.
  
   
  +
“Ah, it’s Ouka!”
−
"Oohh."
  
   
  +
As Yawakaze saw Yuuouji, she immediately excused herself from her classmate that she was having lunch with then ran over cheerfully, after which -
−
<nowiki>*Bang*</nowiki>
  
   
  +
“Whoa!”
−
"Haaa."
  
   
  +
She tripped violently.
−
Each movement of the chopsticks is followed by an exaggerated reaction. Even though the menu isn't very varied, if she eats it with such relish and bouncy movements, I, as the person who made it can't feel bad about it.
  
   
  +
“Ow, it’s been the third time today...”
−
However, the problem of Chocolat staying here is seperate.
  
   
  +
She wiped her eyes while struggling to stand.
−
"However......if you are a freeloader don't eat it all."
  
   
  +
This...this is amazing. Normally someone as clumsy as that would attract hateful gazes from others as it would seem overly deliberate, but that was not the case for Yawakaze.
−
"Ehehe."
  
   
  +
The expressions of the female students around her seemed to indicate that there was nothing intentional about her actions as well.
−
Oh? Why is she pleased? Taking sarcasm as praise, what kind on earth type of brain does she have? Looking down with my eyes that drip scorn, Chocolat seems to sense something as I raised one finger and swung it like a metronome.
  
   
  +
Female high school students (seem to be) creatures that hate their own kind while insisting on fawning over boys they like, but they seem to consider Yawakaze as a sort of airheaded sister of theirs, and their eyes were filled with pity. Maybe they thought she was dumb enough not to warrant their attention, so they couldn’t bother with being jealous of her. It was then that I thought of something related. Even after such a bad fall, her skirt only hiked up slightly.
−
"Kanade-san, Kanade-san, I don't want to calmly be in your debt, I am not one of those audacious people."
 
   
  +
Considering how long her skirt was, I don’t think even the lining of her panties would show if she did a full roll backwards. I guess I really can’t place my hopes on her panties being revealed by accident.
−
Oh, that's good. That's the feeling I wanted. I don't want to say give me money.
  
   
  +
“Ah~ Konacchi’s as cute as always~”
−
What I wanted was the feeling of being sorry and being grateful.
  
   
  +
“Hmph, what are you talking about, it hurts - ah!”
−
"Please leave the guarding of the house to me."
  
   
  +
It appears Yawakaze had only now noticed my presence.
−
"What is your mind full of?"
  
   
  +
“Um, Amakusa-san...er...I...”
−
She's useless......Still, there's not many choices. It's not like I can drive her out.
  
   
  +
She seemed to have something to say, but in the end she merely looked down without saying anything. I guess it can’t be helped considering I’m the one who asked her to show me her panties twice.
−
"Hahaha. Today I am not ashamed Kanade-san!"
  
   
  +
Speaking of which, it’s a miracle that she hasn’t treated me as some sort of freak by now.
−
Why does Chocolat seem to be full of confidence as she put her hand to her chest? She took something from that uselessly rich cleavage.
  
   
  +
“Oh, hello. Yawakaze, I’m really sorry for saying all those weird things to you yesterday.”
−
"Money......roll?"
  
   
  +
I bowed deeply as an apology. The circumstances were similar to yesterday’s, causing me to pray that the Absolute Choices would not come to screw this one up. Luckily, they didn’t.
−
10,000 yen bills. <ref> I suggest people always convert 100 yen to $1 when reading stories for fast comprehension even if it varies a up to 20-30%</ref>
 
   
  +
“Ah...don’t worry, I’m not angry. But...why did you...um...why...why do you want to see my panties that badly?”
−
It's a bundle of 10,000 yen bills. Perhaps a hundred of them. <ref>~$10,000 US</ref>
  
   
  +
“Huh? Nah, it’s just...”
−
"It was given for necessary expenses. If that isn't enough I can get sent addional amounts. I'll entrust it to Kanade-san for the time being."
  
   
  +
At this point, Yuuouji attempted to fill in for me while I was still struggling to formulate a sentence:
−
Seriously?......I didn't think cold cash was a serious posibility. Now that she's given it to me, even if I have issues with this situation it can't be helped.
  
   
  +
“Ah, excuse me Konacchi, allow me to say something. Our Amacchi over here tends to say the opposite of what he actually means when he gets really tense, so he actually doesn’t want to look at your panties.”
−
This amount is a lot no matter how you consider it, I'll only take as much as needed and return the rest later.
  
   
  +
Um...could you please not take your liberties with my personality?
−
The source of all this, Chocolat, still seems somewhat suspicious but she might not be a fake afterall.
 
   
  +
“Opposite from...what he thinks?”
−
"Though I don't understand things like that, is that the end of the discussion?"
  
   
  +
See, Yawakaze believed it.
−
"This is dangerous money!"
  
   
  +
“Amakusa-san...you actually want to see male underwear?”
−
Reflexively I threw it to the floor.
  
   
  +
You’ve got that completely wrong!
−
"......For the time being you hold it."
  
   
  +
“No, it’s not that kind of opposite. He doesn’t want to see underwear, instead he wants to show you his underwear.”
−
"Is that so? Please let me know if you need it at any time."
  
   
  +
“That’s not it either!”
−
Dirty 10,000's that Chocolat stored in her cleavage. I'll consider it all later.
  
   
  +
“Haha, so you want to see inside-out underwear?”
−
"In the meantime I'm going to school."
  
   
  +
“I’m pretty sure that fetish doesn’t exist! Also I don’t have that sort of problem!”
−
I stood up while letting out a light sigh.
  
   
  +
“So you just want to see panties then?”
−
"Okay, have a safe trip."
  
   
  +
“Exactly...hey!”
−
Looking at her usual ear to ear smile I suddenly had a question.
  
   
  +
Dammit...is this woman really here to help me?
−
"Hey, Chocolat, why are you so happy?"
  
   
  +
“Haha, you both really get along well.”
−
"What do you mean?"
  
   
  +
Yawakaze giggled while covering her mouth slightly.
−
"No, if it it was me and I was suddenly sent to another world alone, to help someone I didn't know, there is no way I could act so carefree."
  
   
  +
Oh come on, why are you acting like our class monitor? I’m not getting along with her at all, in fact if given the chance I would punch her twice in the face. I’m not even talking about a normal punch, I mean a bloody haymaker.
−
Her character, even she's ordered to be like that, if I think normally about it, it is hard to say that attitude is natural.
  
   
  +
“Right, Konacchi, do you have time to hang out with me tomorrow?”
−
"Well, we are servants of god and this is the work given to us. Therefore, we are built to feel joy from it. Dealing with cursed humans and breaking the curses cause problems in the mission but my feelings are adjusted."
  
   
  +
“Huh? Oh, I think so. I don’t have club activities tomorrow so it should be fine.”
−
Although it was a bit worrysome hearing her talk as though she was a thing, I don't know what is common sense in that world.
  
   
  +
“Hear that, Amacchi?”
−
"Hmm, it's like that?"
  
   
  +
Yuuouji said while giving me a thumbs-up. It appears getting Yawakaze to go out with her was the purpose of our little visit.
−
"Yes, so therefore I love Kanade-san."
  
   
  +
“Um...does Yawakaze mind going with me?”
−
"I......"
  
   
  +
It’s sad, but if I were in Yawakaze’s shoes I would violently deny this request.
−
It was too straightforward a statement of goodwill.
  
   
  +
“Ah, it’s fine, we were previously discussing whether we should bring guys along anyway. Right, Konacchi?”
−
"What is it?"
  
   
  +
Yawakaze nodded shyly.
−
No, I understand it. This person's goodwill if I compare it to something is like a dog has to it's owner. I'm fully aware there's zero love in it. It's impossible to hear 『Love』 from a creature as cute as this girl. But if she throws it out so much the reasoning of any man disappears.
  
   
  +
“Mm, Daddy said that I should get into contact with guys around more, as long as Ouka’s around to keep me company.”
−
"N-no, it is nothing."
  
   
  +
It appears that everyone who knows her seems to be extremely sensitive about this matter, which was probably why Yuuouji mentioned specifically that they would be going together. If her parents were to know that Yawakaze was so innocent and defenseless towards guys, they would definitely be worried to death.
−
It was extremely hard to say that while hiding my reddening face. I just learned that lesson a little while ago in the bedroom, but I don't seem to be teachable.
  
   
  +
“Previously a lot of guys had attempted to ask me out too, but all of them were dragged away by that muscular Senpai...”
−
"Really? Then while you are gone leave everything to me."
  
   
  +
The Yawakaze Guard really is fearsome. I should really be thanking Yuuouji for getting them out of the way.
−
Her words pulled my thoughts back to reality.
  
   
  +
“Right, so it’s decided. So where shall we go -”
−
Yeah, I said I was going to school a little while ago, I have to leave things to her. It was a mistaken to send an excellent person is too much for me.
  
   
  +
Yuuouji swiftly planned out everything for us. Our destination would be the large shopping mall located three bus stops away from our school, and considering that they had everything from stores to amusement facilities, it was probably an appropriate choice.
−
"It's really okay......do you understand washing and things like that?"
  
   
  +
“Very well, so now regarding our preparation...hmm? Konacchi, your hairpin looks awfully unique.”
−
"Yes, it will be alright if I experience it and practice it until it's perfect."
  
   
  +
Yuuouji pointed to Yawakaze’s head.
−
"No, have some experience from the start......what's with that studylike way of speaking?"
  
   
  +
“You mean this? Oh, this...that person gave it to me.”
−
As I thought, leaving it to this person makes me anxious. I should simulate my leaving.
  
   
  +
“I see~ that means it has「It」as well, right?”
−
"Chocolat, let's have a test of me leaving things to you."
  
   
  +
“Yes.”
−
"Okay, coming and going."
  
   
  +
“Hmm, I see.”
−
First a simple leaving.
 
   
  +
Yuuouji appeared to have understood something, and she appeared as if she was concocting some sort of scheme. Also, there are people who regularly send Yawakaze gifts? She’s like some sort of celebrity.
−
"If it suddenly rains?"
  
   
  +
“It’s an anonymous present just the same, but considering the person spent money on it I would feel bad if I didn’t use it...”
−
"I won't want to go outside."
  
   
  +
“Hmm, I get what you mean. Gifts should be used and not stuffed away in safes or lockers~”
−
"I don't want to hear your thoughts! Take the laundry in!"
  
   
  +
“Yuuouji, have you ever received gifts?”
−
Right from the start it is exceedingly bad.
  
   
  +
With her looks that would normally have earned her a place on the Popular Five, it would be normal if she had any admirers; not to mention that it may not be very surprising if there were someone that would actually find her personality appealing among our vast student population.
−
"When newspaper solicitors come?"
  
   
−
"Take it if it comes with detergent."
 +
“Yes, sir! Actually I have it with me right now.”
   
  +
I looked her over from top to bottom. Yuuouji may be breaking countless school regulations what with her bellybutton exposed and her skirt being too short, but she didn’t appear to have any accessories on her. The only possibility would be that it was a cellphone strap or something. Yuuouji appeared to have guessed what I was going to ask, and she replied frankly:
−
"Hide before that!"
  
   
  +
“Panties.”
−
Next, next.
  
   
  +
“...What?”
−
"If you have a "it's me" type phone swindler call?"
  
   
  +
“You know, panties? The ones you wear under a skirt?”
−
"I'll send the bills, that God forged for me, by bank transfer."
  
   
  +
Panties? Sending girls panties? Are you joking...if it’s the person’s lover or husband or something, it would be fine, but anonymously? What the hell must that person be thinking?
−
"A scandal will erupt!"
  
   
  +
“And it’s laced too. Red laced panties.”
−
......Next.
  
   
  +
Why would anyone send that? Why would you wear it? Why would you tell me that?
−
"If Nakajima comes for an invitation?"
  
   
  +
This probably can’t be considered as a case of like-calls-to-like, but I guess someone like Yuuouji really attracts strange admirers. Compared to this, Yawakaze’s hairpin seems a whole lot simpler.
−
"Cook a meal."
 
   
  +
“L-laced panties...”
−
"No resistance! In the first place that person only invites Isono!"
  
   
  +
Do you see that? Her face is red! That should be a normal female high school student’s reaction to this.
−
"Now, Kanade-san I think you are joking."
  
   
  +
“Laced panties~♪ Laced panties~♪”
−
"You are guessing......you are right."
  
   
  +
This miserable female high-schooler began singing instead. You’re actually a grade-schooler, aren’t you?
−
I unintentionally let myself get carried away.
  
   
  +
“Stop singing things like that...you’re this happy after receiving laced panties?”
−
"You should understand it all."
  
   
  +
“Yep, I’m fine as long as it’s a gift! Don’t you like getting panties as a gift?”
−
Shit, I'm showing my irritation on my face. I intended to retort but time is running out.
  
   
  +
“Nope.”
−
*Damn* "Well I'll be back."
  
   
  +
I would be scared to death if I were to open my locker one day to find a pair of trunks sitting there.
−
"Have a safe trip!"
  
   
  +
“So what kind of panties does Amacchi like on a girl?”
−
While holding a helpless feeling of insecurity, I received an energetic sendoff and left the house.
  
   
  +
“O-Ouka, don’t ask questions like that!”
−
===Part 2===
  
−
"Buhiiiii."
  
   
  +
Yawakaze’s reaction was somewhat violent.
−
It is second year, class 1's lunchtime and a voice is doing 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』sounds.
  
   
  +
I guess I can’t blame her, Yuuouji’s question was pretty abrupt after all. Yuuouji then continued in a satisfied manner as she saw my questioning glance:
−
"Buhiiiii."
  
   
  +
“Hmm, immunity, Amacchi. I’m only doing this to strengthen Konacchi’s immunity towards such matters, so if we can’t laugh things like these off, how do you think her parents would feel?”
−
My anguished voice sounds like a 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』.
  
   
  +
“I-I see, Ouka was doing this for me...I understand, I’ll try harder.”
−
"Buhiiiii."
  
   
  +
Um, Yawakaze-san, I’m afraid you got tricked. This is all a trap set by a bad person to have a look at your panties...and that bad person happens to be me.
−
My face is indecribable as all kinds of negative feelings fill it. If you dared to add the title 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 I wonder where it would go.
  
   
  +
Speaking of which, it appears I have to answer the question. Although the circumstances aren’t really allowing me to be honest, I guess I should just answer it to be safe.
−
"Buhiiiii."
  
   
  +
“Just normal white -”
−
I finished the 10th cry of 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 as required. With a blank expression I jumped down off the teacher's desk.
  
   
  +
“You lie!”
   
  +
Yuuouji suddenly cried out like a certain cleaver-wielding female character.
−
[Choose: ① Lie on your back on the teacher's desk and mimic the sound of a 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 ten times ② Daigo-san nude, and tied in straw rope, will appear and do it
 
−
instead.]
  
   
  +
“Whoa, w-what are you doing!”
   
  +
Yuuouji’s sadistic expression returned, and she said to me:
−
The moment this choice appeared, seriously......no. I felt like jumping off the roof in comparison. Trying to think of a pig who can't live no matter how it struggles I somehow managed to do 『mimicing a pig's denying death cry』.
  
   
  +
“Hmm, that won’t do, Amacchi. In order to strengthen Konacchi’s immunity, you’ve gotta be honest.”
−
"Why......why did I see this......"
  
   
  +
This woman...I haven’t even finished my sentence and you could tell I was lying?
−
So, all of it is to blame on the Absolute Choice. If this can be eliminated I can regain my peaceful life.
  
   
  +
Oh right, she said yesterday that she could verify the truthfulness of my words through my eyes and my expressions. So that was true after all.
−
The conditions have been specified. It seems I have to do the missions specified by God.
  
   
  +
“Cough cough...so I’ll have to do this due to popular demand then. For guys...we don’t have any other choices except garters, right?”
−
However, what is with the it being 『make Yukihira Furano laugh from the bottom of her heart』.
 
   
  +
“Whoa~ sexy, we’ve got a good one!”
−
It's so crazy my mind can't wrestle with where to start.
  
   
  +
“Gar...ter?”
−
"......Eh~"
  
   
  +
I guessed that Yuuouji would be causing a ruckus like a kid, while Yawakaze didn’t seem to have heard of that word before. The differences between the two were now especially evident.
−
Feeling something behind me I glanced back over my shoulder. It was Yukihira herself. She was expressionless, as always, as she put her hand on my shoulder.
  
   
  +
“Um, aren’t we going off topic - huh?”
−
"Amakusa-kun, now I understand a little of your yearning feelings."
  
   
  +
I suddenly felt a change in atmosphere.
−
"Yearning? What on earth are you talking about?"
  
   
  +
“Did you hear that, he said something about a garter?” “Yep, Amakusa-san’s a pervert after all.” “Yuuouji-san too, isn’t she embarrassed at all?” “Are all of those on the Reject Five like this?” “They were mentioning underwear and panties the entire time.” “Konacchi, you shouldn’t be talking those people, alright?”
−
"No, even though is a lot to accept, it isn't very nice."
  
   
  +
Murmurs began drifting throughout the class.
−
"You......What are you trying to say? I don't get it at all."
  
   
  +
W-when did we attract that much attention? Yuuouji’s entrance into the class was rather exaggerated, but that shouldn’t have warranted attention to our conversation itself - also, why does liking garters make me a pervert?
−
"Unfortunately, a while ago you suffered through the pig joke."
  
   
  +
All these painfully penetrating gazes...I may have experienced them one took many times over in my class, but I never thought that I would be experiencing them yet again halfway across the school.
−
"That expression in your eyes!"
  
   
  +
“Oi, you’ve got it all wrong -”
−
That? Yesterday she said talked about people being a pig or an insect.
  
   
  +
「Choose: ① “Ladies, what are you all looking at? Why don’t you all just put on garters and use your bodies to service me?”
−
"Btw, because you are fair-skinned it's not a blackpiggish joke, it's classified as a whitepiggish joke. In other words a white pig."
  
   
  +
② Wear a garter yourself and demonstrate to them how perfect of a combination garters and M-shaped spread legs are.」
−
"I don't want to be told that by you!"
  
   
  +
I chose the first choice, instantly attracting the killing intent of all the girls in Class 15.
−
"By the way, when I express it with two names it becomes 『White Pig's Stylish Laugh Time』<ref>I don't get a furigana joke, it's an alternative pronoucation of the name 『ピツグス.シヨータイム』(Pitsugusu.shiyoutoimu)</ref>."
  
   
  +
“Goodbye Amacchi, see you tomorrow!”
−
"You say such shameful things with a straight face!"
  
   
  +
After class, Yuuouji promptly told me that she would be taking Yawakaze over to her place to hang out and ran off to Class 15 yet again. I was planning to follow, but I immediately dismissed that thought as I remembered what had happened there earlier.
−
===Part 3===
  
   
  +
Today...I guess I won’t ever be able to enter Class 15 ever again after today.
−
===Part 4===
  
  +
  +
“Sigh...”
  +
  +
I sighed and surveyed my surroundings.
  +
  +
The Absolute Choices had been messing with my life since last year.
  +
  +
They were all horrible choices with absolutely no rules pertaining to them nor any actual relation to my life itself, but if I had to think of one it would probably be that they don’t help me at all. Within dating simulators, as long as you pick the right choices, all sorts of pretty female characters would begin living increasingly close and happy lives with you.
  +
  +
But these choices that insist on popping out from my mind time and again are essentially destroying my love life.
  +
  +
Also I don’t know why making girls laugh and peeking at panties seem to be conditions for removing this curse.
  +
  +
“Just tell me...what the hell do you want?”
  +
  +
I looked up and yelled at the slowly reddening sky. My query that was never intended for any human ears did not, of course, receive any form of reply.
  +
  +
===Part 7===
  +
  +
“Yawakaze...you...”
  +
  +
When I reached our predetermined destination, I froze upon seeing Yawakaze who was the first to arrive.
  +
  +
“Um...Amakusa-san, do I look weird like this?”
  +
  +
I shook my head hurriedly. It wasn’t weird at all, in fact her current attire was a complete departure from her usual good-girl image. It was completely amazing. Although on this very day I guess I would have to rule her out of the competition. Why...why would you wear hot pants!?
  +
  +
The skin Yawakaze was showing today was nothing like anything she had ever done before, but this just won’t do. No matter how attractive her pearly white skin may be, no matter how illegal her soft silky thighs may be, as long as it eliminates any chances of her panties being seen, there’s just no use.
  +
  +
“Yahoo -!”
  +
  +
Just as I was plunging into the depths of despair, I heard Yuuouji’s carefree cry from behind me. I turned only to see her wearing an ultra-miniskirt that left me at a dilemma as to where I should divert my eyes.
  +
  +
“Hmm? Konacchi, what’s with the get-up?”
  +
  +
“B-because...”
  +
  +
As Yuuouji ran over, Yawakaze’s face became increasingly red.
  +
  +
“This own’t do, why didn’t you wear the semi-transparent skirt I lent you yesterday?”
  +
  +
“Who the hell would wear that out!?”
  +
  +
“Sob, Ouka, I really don’t dare to wear that thing out. Also after I saw that, I felt too shy to even wear something like a normal skirt, but, since I agreed earlier that I have to at least show my feet, I mustered my courage to borrow this from my sister...is it still no good?”
  +
  +
Oh my god, what a beautiful reaction, and factoring in her embarrassed gaze, her destructive ability is almost off the charts. After Yuuouji heard that -
  +
  +
“Y-you’re a natural guy killer. Konacchi...you’re scary!”
  +
  +
She rolled her eyes and began acting dumb.
  +
  +
“Oi, now what do we do, we’re bumping into obstacles right off the bat.”
  +
  +
I whispered softly in Yuuouji’s ear. Don’t even talk about her skirt hiking up by accident, now I won’t even be able to execute my emergency plan of lifting up her skirt manually.
  +
  +
“No hurry, it was exactly because something like this may happen that I picked this place, so just relax.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji somehow managed to remain confident.
  +
  +
“Alright, let’s go, let’s go!”
  +
  +
She promptly brushed me aside and dragged Yawakaze off into the distance with a slight hopping gait...this may be it for me.
  +
  +
“Ta-da~ here we are!”
  +
  +
Yuuouji stopped right outside some branded clothing store. I may not be interested in fashion at all, but I have seen this brand around quite a lot. I think this place is famous for having everything from the most prestigious types of formal clothing down to the most casual of attire, all within the same store. As I stepped in, I could tell that wasn’t a bluff. The store itself was gigantic with enormous amounts and types of clothings being displayed on shelves and racks, yet somehow managing not to give off a sense of disorderliness.
  +
  +
“Konacchi, over here.”
  +
  +
“Hmm? What is it, Ouka?”
  +
  +
“I’m sorry, but Amacchi, could you just wait there for a while~”
  +
  +
“Ah? Oh, OK.”
  +
  +
Before I got the chance to reply, Yuuouji had already dragged Yawakaze off.
  +
  +
I quietly stayed in the store for about ten minutes more -
  +
  +
“Amacchi, sorry to keep you waiting!”
  +
  +
“Whoa...”
  +
  +
I couldn’t help but utter a small cry of awe as I saw Yawakaze. What I saw before me was Yawakaze wearing a miniskirt of a length rivaling even that of Yuuouji’s.
  +
  +
“Sob...Ouka, this is awfully embarrassing.”
  +
  +
Yawakaze said embarrassedly. If one were to compare the current length of her skirt to her usual school uniform, it’s like she’s half naked.
  +
  +
“Whaddaya think Amacchi, isn’t it great?”
  +
  +
“Um, anyone who doesn’t agree with that definitely isn’t a man.”
  +
  +
I replied frankly.
  +
  +
“Oh...thanks.”
  +
  +
Yawakaze still seemed rather shy, but I guess she couldn’t turn down the compliment.
  +
  +
“Right, let’s buy it!”
  +
  +
“W-wait a second. Ouka, didn’t you say we’re just going to try this on? This is kinda pretty, but I don’t have that much money.”
  +
  +
I’m not that clear about clothing prices, but I could tell that with regards to the quality of the material, it probably wasn’t cheap. At least, I don’t think it’s something any normal high school student could just walk in and buy.
  +
  +
“Relax, leave it to me.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji said it as if it wasn’t a big deal, but then I remembered her family isn’t exactly liberal with their expenses either, considering she only gets about five thousand yen as allowance per month at most.
  +
  +
Also, Yuuouji isn’t the type of person who would randomly buy clothes for her friends just because she’s from a rich family.
  +
  +
“This place is actually a branch of UOG, but I’m not exactly sure of the details.”
  +
  +
Are you kidding me...UOG really has everything.
  +
  +
“The owner of this place wants to get a few models to try on their new products, then walk around this entire mall as some sort of live advertisement...but up until now there have been no applicants which is, of course, a problem to him...Konacchi, how about you consider it a favor to both me and the manager and wear this around for a while?”
  +
  +
I see, this tactic is incredibly cunning. This story may be for the most part fake, but her choice of words would leave Yawakaze no room for refusal.
  +
  +
“Oh...since it’s like that...then...I’ll help out.”
  +
  +
As expected, Yawakaze nodded shyly.
  +
  +
“OK! Thank you!”
  +
  +
Yuuouji cheered and whispered to me once again.
  +
  +
“Haha, now we just need to take her out in this and everything will be fine.”
  +
  +
“Yuuouji...nice one.”
  +
  +
I never thought that she would perform this well. It’s a foregone conclusion that Yawakaze will definitely trip and fall somewhere. I did say yesterday that I can’t rely on random chance, but today I have a strong tool to help me out. I looked at Yawakaze’s feet.
  +
  +
Yes, I’m referring to her high heels. Yawakaze trips and falls over with a stunning tendency normally anyway, so considering that she’s wearing a pair of shoes that will only make her more unstable, her tripping over now is pretty much a guarantee.
  +
  +
“Now, we just have to wait.”
  +
  +
“Yep/”
  +
  +
Yuuouji and I were like those evil magistrates and their equally nefarious underlings you see in period dramas, with even the corners of our mouths lifted in a similar snarl. But -
  +
  +
“Ah~ this is great~”
  +
  +
I’ll put it simply, she didn’t trip at all.
  +
  +
Yawakaze didn’t fall over a single time, no matter how closely packed the crowd was, no matter how hard it was for her to walk, she somehow could remain completely stable as if through some divine help. She seemed to have noticed that as well, as she was expressing her joy and suddenly being rid of this problem...this miracle is just trying to screw me over, isn’t it?
  +
  +
Time trickled past us in this desperate situation, and before we knew it it was six in the evening. Considering that the sun isn’t up for all that long during this period it would be normal to think about going home by now.
  +
  +
The one fortune among our misfortunes was - Yawakaze’s stomach began grumbling - although she soon denied it furiously with her face completely red. So, we went over to a food court to look for something to eat.
  +
  +
After finding a seat on one of the publicly allocated benches, I sat down to rest my legs for a while.
  +
  +
“Alright, I’ll get some food and come back.”
  +
  +
“Oh, thanks.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji didn’t seem tired at all, and she dashed off with her usual grade-schooler spirit. At this time on a Saturday, every single part of the city would be congested by people with their families in tow, so I don’t think she’ll be back any time soon.
  +
  +
Right, now what should I do...since we’ve tried so many methods but to no avail, I guess we’ll have to try a different approach.
  +
  +
The problem is, we haven’t actually thought of the different approach, or else I would have done it long ago.
  +
  +
I became increasingly anxious. What should I do...what should I do?
  +
  +
”Snore~”
  +
  +
A small, cute exhale of air jerked me back to reality.
  +
  +
Not a minute after Yuuouji had left, Yawakaze was already collapsed on the table in a deep sleep, with her purse still hanging on her shoulder. She was a pretty weak-looking girl in the first place, so I guess this isn’t all that surprising after being dragged around town for so long.
  +
  +
“Mm...”
  +
  +
Yawakaze’s body twisted slightly, changing her position.
  +
  +
“Oh?”
  +
  +
This change hiked up the frills of her skirt, causing nearly her entire thigh to leak out of it.
  +
  +
T- this is...just a little more and I’ll be able to get what I came for.
  +
  +
Just then -
  +
  +
「Choose: ① Pull it open and have a look.
  +
  +
② Don’t do anything.」
  +
  +
...Of course, it just had to pick a time like this.
  +
  +
However, if you look at it from another angle, this might be a chance. If I have to do it the hard way later, if I have to take that first step which I have the chance to do so now, I guess there isn’t a better opportunity.
  +
  +
Do I go?
  +
  +
I hesitantly began inching my arm towards Yawakaze’s lower body.
  +
  +
Then I stopped once again right before actually touching it.
  +
  +
Is this really alright?
  +
  +
No no no no, what am I still thinking about? If I don’t finish these missions I’ll be plagued by these choices for the rest of my life, I need to get this into my thick skull!
  +
  +
But they want me to lift up her skirt, it’s just...wrong.
  +
  +
Well, we did get Yawakaze to put on a miniskirt and high heels to increase her chances of falling over and tripping, which is pretty much the same thing as directly lifting up her skirt, if you think about it that way.
  +
  +
Fine, I just wanted to create a situation where we could「Coincidentally」get a glimpse of her panties and hopefully create less guilt on my part.
  +
  +
As if to prolong my suffering by not hurrying me, the tendrils of pain that would usually be all over my head right now did not appear, instead what surfaced there was all sorts of thoughts and ideas, hesitations and coerces that made me doubt myself, blocking me from reaching a definite decision.
  +
  +
My pondering caused my perception of time to become blurred, so I think I spent quite a few minutes thinking. As the pain finally began assaulting me, I reached my conclusion.
  +
  +
“...I give up.”
  +
  +
I chose choice number 2 in the end. There’s not a definitive reason why I chose it, but you could say I just didn’t feel like it.
  +
  +
Even if I were to lift her skirt, I want to do it in a more honorable manner, then get scolded by her or something, because lifting her skirt while she’s sleeping just seems to low for my tastes.
  +
  +
The other reason was that I just wanted to protest against the Absolute Choices, I guess. Them appearing at this time seemed to be telling me “Oi, you can blame me for this, just lift it already”, which I’m not exactly happy with.
  +
  +
As I thought of the person sending down these choices giggling with glee as I picked choice number 1 in accordance to his wishes, it just made me sick. Thus, I silently retracted my outstretched arm.
  +
  +
“Hmm...huh? Amakusa-san? Hmm? Did I fall asleep?”
  +
  +
Yawakaze suddenly woke up as if on cue.
  +
  +
“Yeah, but just for a few minutes.”
  +
  +
“I-I’m sorry...ah, so...d-did you happen to see me sleeping?”
  +
  +
Well, at such a close distance I can’t say I didn’t. Just as I was nodding -
  +
  +
“Ah!”
  +
  +
A strange noise emitted from her mouth.
  +
  +
“I-I let a guy see me in such an embarrassing manner...”
  +
  +
As I saw Yawakaze’s face instantly exploding in virulent shades of red, the word ‘regret’ instantly crossed my mind.
  +
  +
You want me to lift up her skirt? Sorry, I can’t do it. If she’s this embarrassed just after having a guy looking at her sleeping posture, me looking at her panties would probably cause some sort of permanent trauma.
  +
  +
Maybe nothing would happen if I had looked at her panties while she was still sleeping. Everything that passed through my mind earlier was just useless self-consolation, i just threw away a chance that I might not get for the rest of my days...
  +
  +
“Stop, thief!”
  +
  +
A huge shriek suddenly rocked the food court, once again calling me to my senses.
  +
  +
I looked over at the direction of the sound, only to see a burly man wearing a dirty T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans making a mad dash away. Just my luck, he was heading in the direction of our seat...
  +
  +
“Give it here!”
  +
  +
The robber immediately spotted the purse on Yawakaze’s shoulder, or maybe he spotted her simply because of all the branded products she was wearing.
  +
  +
Even after grabbing someone else’s wallet, this greedy thief still didn’t happen to have had enough.
  +
  +
“Huh? Huh?”
  +
  +
This sudden drastic change in situation caused Yawakaze to freeze completely, and she just sat there motionlessly.
  +
  +
“Watch out!”
  +
  +
Before I could think, my body was already between that of the robber’s and Yawakaze’s.
  +
  +
I -
  +
  +
“Ugh!”
  +
  +
The robber slammed me aside viciously, causing me to fall hard on my back.
  +
  +
“Amakusa-san!”
  +
  +
“Cheh...give it to me now!”
  +
  +
My intrusion caused the robber to hesitate slightly, however his attention once again returned to Yawakaze.
  +
  +
“Yawakaze, let go of the - cough cough!”
  +
  +
I think I hit my windpipe or something during my fall, causing me to be unable to speak nor stand. Dammit, this is bad!
  +
  +
“Amacchi! Nice block!”
  +
  +
I heard a voice that instantly reminded me of a hero barging in at the last moment.
  +
  +
“HAAAAAAAAAAH!”
  +
  +
Yuuouji ran over like a sprinter, and leaped - her flying kick that she had apparently put all her weight behind struck the robber directly in the abdomen.
  +
  +
“Ah!”
  +
  +
He collapsed, and even skittered backwards for quite a distance. Coming to think of it, it was pretty comical. After that he was dragged away by some guards/
  +
  +
Yuuouji’s physical ability is incredibly amazing. Considering that she’s one of the more petite ones among the girls in my school, one can only wonder where she gets all that strength from.
  +
  +
“Phew, luckily I made it. Konacchi, you’re not hurt, aren’t you?”
  +
  +
Even in this situation, Yuuouji’s tone was calm, and her breathing had no hints of panic in it.
  +
  +
“Ah...yeah, because someone protected me. Amakusa-san, are you alright?”
  +
  +
Yawakaze ran over to me and crouched down, and she looked at me with a gaze containing gratitude and pity.
  +
  +
“Wow, you did great, Amacchi.”
  +
  +
“Pfft, it was nothing, I was just knocked away...”
  +
  +
As I lifted my head up slightly, I froze.
  +
  +
The scenery underneath Yuuouji’s skirt was displayed right before me in all its splendour.
  +
  +
Yawakaze was crouching by my feet, while Yuuouji was standing near my head in a completely defenseless fashion. Even though their skirts were equally short, I could only see that of the latter.
  +
  +
I could, in fact, see the whole thing.
  +
  +
The pure white color before my eyes had a mature texture that was one part sexy and nine parts elegant, somewhat in contrast with Yuuouji’s usual personality. I was expecting it to have, like, animal patterns or something.
  +
  +
But that’s beside the point.
  +
  +
This...why would you wear a garter?
  +
  +
As though to protect the white pair of panties beneath her skirt was a jet-black garter.
  +
  +
I had my suspicions towards that black strip on her leg since earlier, but she wasn’t wearing a pantyhose underneath it, just a normal pair of kneesocks. How strange.
  +
  +
She probably heard what I said yesterday and decided to have a go at it for a whim. Such a childlike person, wearing such a mature garter...children and garters...they seem to go well with each other.
  +
  +
(Ah!)
  +
  +
Whoa whoa whoa what am I thinking, pervert! Stop looking already! I hurriedly averted my eyes as I realized that.
  +
  +
Luckily Yuuouji’s attention was on Yawakaze, so she didn’t seem to notice my tour of the areas beneath her skirt.
  +
  +
There’s also a possibility that I merely thought I was looking for a long time when in reality it was only an instant.
  +
  +
I had struggled with myself regarding whether or not to lift up Yawakaze’s skirt for so long earlier, but for some reason in this accidental situation I’m not feeling any guilt.
  +
  +
In fact, this might even be considered a gift for those who love garters.
  +
  +
If it was Yawakaze’s, my life would be complete -
  +
  +
The cellphone in my pocket suddenly began ringing.
  +
  +
“Hmm?”
  +
  +
The sender was「God」, and the message was titled「Mission complete」.
  +
  +
What? I opened up the message while standing up with question marks peppering the inside of my mind.
  +
  +
「Congratulations on completing the mission, please wait patiently for the next task.」
  +
  +
The words were pretty much the same as the time I completed Yukihira’s mission. W-what exactly happened? I should have seen Yuuouji’s panties and not Yawakaze’s...
  +
  +
I looked at the mission briefing sent two days before, yep, the target is Yawakaze.
  +
  +
My phone began vibrating once again. The sender was「God」, and the message was titled「Just a brief explanation.」
  +
  +
「Good evening, God here. I’m sure you’re kinda confused as to how you managed to complete it.」
  +
  +
I guess I should say that God is incredibly powerful for being able to read my thoughts? Speaking of which, who exactly is this? It doesn’t seem like the flippant one from last time, and the previous God should be still on maternity leave, unless she’s the one giving me my missions?
  +
  +
「I’ll give ya a piece of good news. Now, I’m going to explain what happened...thank me.」
  +
  +
Pfft...annoying.
  +
  +
Let’s just ignore this for now, but every single time when I scroll to the bottom of the message new lines begin to appear. How the hell does that work?
  +
  +
「Actually, the pair of panties Yuuouji Ouka is wearing right now belongs to Yawakaze Konagi.」
  +
  +
...What?
  +
  +
「The captain of the Yawakaze Guard, Todou Sakura, broke a huge rule.」
  +
  +
Wait, what? This conversation seems to be heading towards stranger territories, he isn’t sending me the wrong message right? Also, to think that Todou-senpai has such a fabulous name...
  +
  +
「He’s a deserter. Sakura-chan ignored the other members of the Guard and began sending Yawakaze Konagi gifts.」
  +
  +
To think that the captain himself would break the rules, this really is unforgivable. Also, why are you addressing him as「Sakura-chan」...
  +
  +
「This may be unfair towards the other members of the Guard, but in a passing admirer’s position, there’s nothing wrong with his behavior.」
  +
  +
So that hairpin from yesterday was sent by him?
  +
  +
「In fact, he’s not satisfied with just sending presents. He attaches a self-written poem to every single one as well.」
  +
  +
Romantic poems, huh...feels kinda corny.
  +
  +
「Just look at it, romantic poems! ...Pfft, who still writes those things in this day and age?」
  +
  +
Is the sender still the same person? Look, he even wrote「romantic poems (www)」. (TL note: Japanese use the letter ‘w’ kinda like how we use ‘lol’, because笑, the Kanji for smiling or laughter begins with the letter ‘w’.)
  +
  +
That’s annoying! I mean writing romantic poems is kinda embarrassing but you can stop now!
  +
  +
「After which Yuuouji Ouka found out about it, and she began blackmailing the poor Sakura-chan.」
  +
  +
So that’s what she was whispering in his ear yesterday.
  +
  +
Something as embarrassing as writing romantic poems can only be done in an anonymous position I guess. Rather than letting Yawakaze herself or other members of the Guard find out, I guess running around the track naked would be lesser of a punishment.
  +
  +
「On that day, Sakura-chan had even prepared another special gift - a pair of panties. He couldn’t resist his manic love towards Yawakaze Konagi, and so he hoped that she would wear the pair of panties he sent her. Disgusting, isn’t it?」
  +
  +
Sending panties...huh? Why does it seem like we’re talking about Yuuouji’s secret admirers again?
  +
  +
「Yuuouji Ouka merely wanted Sakura-chan to agree not to get in your way, so when he was about to go according to his plan and send in the panties, he made a huge mistake - he put it in the wrong bag.」
  +
  +
I see...from yesterday the two girls went home together, so I guess that’s where he went wrong.
  +
  +
「Yuuouji Ouka noticed the pair of panties when she reached home. A normal person would probably feel uncomfortable and throw it away or something if they were to find a packaged pair of panties in their bag, but the next day - which means today - she decided to wear it out instead.」
  +
  +
Next time, don’t wear strange clothings, will you?
  +
  +
「Yuuouji Ouka has two main reasons for believing those panties actually belonged to her. Firstly, her admirers have sent her panties before.」
  +
  +
I see, so Todou-senpai had unwittingly done something Yuuouji’s admirers had previously done before.
  +
  +
「Secondly, there was no romantic poem attached this time, unlike Sakura-chan’s other gifts to Yawakaze Konagi. Maybe he fed it to the rubbish bin because he doesn’t have enough balls to send both a pair of panties and a romantic poem.」
  +
  +
Todou-senpai...you wrote it anyway.
  +
  +
「Actually, we managed to regather the contents of the poem itself.」
  +
  +
How did you do that?
  +
  +
「Wind - It’s you Benevolently embracing all the creatures of the earth Angelic wind
  +
  +
Silk - The panties Gently embracing the secrets of the wind Seductive silk
  +
  +
The Knight - It’s me Holding onto the wind and the silk with all my love Brave Knight」
  +
  +
(TL note: This poem looks weird, I know, but that’s actually how it’s phrased.)
  +
  +
OUT OUT OUT OUT! I furiously mashed the「Scroll down」button, trying as hard as I could to avoid the continuously appearing lines of text. If I were to continue reading, Todou-senpai’s reputation may be ruined.
  +
  +
「Right right, after enjoying Sakura-chan’s (www) poetic skills, I think we can get into the main topic.」
  +
  +
This bastard is really too much...although I guess I won’t ever be able to look at Todou-senpai in the same way ever again.
  +
  +
「That panties was intended for Yawakaze Konagi, so ignoring any hiccups that might have happened during the delivery, and no matter whoever’s wearing it, it’s considered as Yawakaze Konagi’s property.」
  +
  +
Ignoring the finders-keepers rule huh. Never mind that, but why would this be considered a mission complete?
  +
  +
「Your mission was to ‘Look at Yawakaze Konagi’s panties when being worn’, and not to ‘Look at the panties Yawakaze Konagi is wearing.’」
  +
  +
...It can’t be.
  +
  +
「Right, since I’ve got this far, I’m sure you understand now right? God’s explanation is complete, bye bisexual~」
  +
  +
The message ends there.
  +
  +
In other words, 「Yawakaze Konagi’s panties」only refer to the panties she「Owns」.
  +
  +
So as long as it’s her panties, even if Yuuouji Ouka were to wear it, it would still be fine.
  +
  +
Um, as long as the mission is completed, I suppose I don’t have a problem, but isn’t this just screwing me with wordplay?
  +
  +
Conversely, I may have completed this mission by pure accident, but there may also be a case in the future where I think I’ve completed the mission but in actuality I have not due to some catch in the phrasing that I may not have noticed. I have to be on my guard.
  +
  +
“Amakusa-san, you’ve been staring at your phone all this time, is something wrong?”
  +
  +
Yawakaze’s voice pulled me out of the realm of my thoughts.
  +
  +
“Ah, I’m sorry...whoa!”
  +
  +
Suddenly, a gust of wind brushed past me without warning.
  +
  +
The wind itself was strong and powerful, it could almost be a whirlwind, and what appeared before me was -
  +
  +
“Ah...whaaaaaa!”
  +
  +
Hello, pantsu-san.
  +
  +
Exactly the same. The panties I saw underneath Yawakaze’s lifted skirt was exactly the same as Yuuouji had drawn yesterday.
  +
  +
Only the color was different. Yesterday’s report said it was white, but the one I was staring at was colored a deep purple that threatened to completely reverse my impressions of Yawakaze.
  +
  +
“Ah, aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...”
  +
  +
Yawakaze received a huge shock at this unexpected reveal.
  +
  +
“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....”
  +
  +
Oh crap, she’s going to yell, no, she definitely will yell. With so many people around -
  +
  +
“YAAAAAHHHHHHH!”
  +
  +
The scream came from a completely unexpected direction.
  +
  +
“Yuu...ouji?”
  +
  +
“Ouka...?”
  +
  +
That piercing shriek came from none other than Yuuouji Ouka herself.
  +
  +
Her face was incredibly red, and she was trembling all over. This reaction...what happened?
  +
  +
Yuuouji did have an accident earlier as well, but earlier...she didn’t notice.
  +
  +
“- embarrassing.”
  +
  +
Yuuouji was mumbling to herself, so I couldn’t exactly hear her.
  +
  +
“What is it, Yuuouji? You seem strange, are you alright?”
  +
  +
I stepped slightly closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.
  +
  +
“!!!”
  +
  +
She jumped back instead, and her face that was initially red enough somehow got even redder, as if transcending the limits of humanity itself.
  +
  +
Could it be...she’s embarrassed?
  +
  +
“Never thought...embarrassing.”
  +
  +
She completely ignored me and just stood there for a while - then charged off like a bolt of released lightning.
  +
  +
“I never thought...having my panties seen by other people would be this embarrassing-AAAAAAA!”
  +
  +
She began howling manically and disappeared in the crowds.
  +
  +
“...” “...”
  +
  +
Yawakaze and I could only look at each other while at a loss for words.
  +
  +
Yawakaze didn’t seem embarrassed at all even after her...accident. After seeing something like that, I guess it’s kinda hard to stay embarrassed. A while later, Yawakaze finally said something.
  +
  +
“...Now what?”
  +
  +
“...I think we should head home.”
  +
  +
“...I guess so.”
  +
  +
Mission:「Get a glance of what Yawakaze Konagi’s panties look like when being worn」- Completed.
   
  +
<noinclude>
 
==Translator's Notes and References==
  
==Translator's Notes and References==
 
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Latest revision as of 19:26, 10 May 2017

Chapter 3 - Yuuouji Ouka’s New World[edit]

Part 1[edit]

“Snore~”

Chocolat of the Amakusa household was once again collapsed in a deep sleep.

“...Sigh, how should I deal with her this time.”

She slept with her mouth gaping wide open, leaving her completely defenseless.

I sighed and walked towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey...don’t do that!”

Just as I was about to reach an arm out to shake her awake, she cried out in a strange, yet somehow strangely arousing manner. Don’t tell me it’s going to be like that last time all over again...

“D-don’t do that, Natsuhiko-san!”

Natsuhiko? That’s one name I’ve never heard of, who could that be? Sounds as if he’s going to violate Chocolat or something...

“Natsuhiko-san, don’t assault Kanade-san while he’s unconscious, that’s too low!”

So it was me all along!

“Stop, it would be too predictable with Kanade-san as the uke, so of course it won’t be fun!” (TL note: Uke is a term used in yaoi to define the person at the ‘receiving end’...I don’t think i need to explain further.)

Couldn’t she have a better reason to stop him?

“I see...since you’re prepared for that, I don’t have any reason to stop you.”

Stop him already!

“Ah, Kanade-san’s almost awake, just use that chloroform-stained handkerchief of yours to knock him out again.” (TL note: Chloroform is a chemical that induces unconsciousness.

Why the hell are you helping Natsuhiko!?

“You’re quite something, Natsuhiko-san, to begin your assault at a place like that. Ooh, Kanade-san’s hole -”

“Behave yourself already!”

I couldn’t take it any longer, so I slapped her until she awoke.

“Fumyu?”

Chocolat’s eyes were still half-open due to her fatigue, and she surveyed her surroundings nimbly.

“Huh, where’s Natsuhiko-san?”

“Who the hell is that!?”

“Nom nom.”

Chocolat immediately filled her mouth with the miso mackerel I had prepared on the breakfast table cheerfully.

“Wasn’t it great that we at least managed to complete Yukihira Furano-san’s mission?”

“Oh, right, yeah I guess.”

“How exactly did you make her laugh in the end? Isn’t she usually the type of person who never smiles?”

“That was obviously because...of my natural comedic abilities.”

I intentionally obscured the subject matter, merely telling her that I succeeded without mentioning all that business with the banana peel, otherwise I would be in for it since she would make fun of me for that for the rest of my days.

“Mm~ so Furano-san enjoys watching people fail at comedy?”

This fellow really has no manners.

“Right, Kanade-san.”

Chocolat asked while peeling a pickled cucumber.

“I didn’t get the chance to try all forty-eight tickling methods from last night.”

“Ugh...”

This reawakened memories of having breasts straddling my back as well as a horribly corroding fragrance assaulting my brain, not to mention all the side effects, so that method was definitely extremely dangerous.

“No more...no more tickling from now on.”

“Why not? I originally intended to try everything out tonight again, des.”

“If you do it again, I’ll only give you pinecones as a snack next time.”

“Y-your pinecone harassment is too much!”

What the heck is that...

“Hmm?”

My cellphone that I had put on the table earlier began ringing, but for some reason I had a bad feeling.

As expected, I received yet another order for a「Curse-Breaking Mission」. The second round really came pretty quick.

Who exactly is in charge of these things? With the previous god on maternity leave (?), the Flippant God had said earlier on the phone as well that he isn’t actually sure about this entire affair.

Anyway, there’s no point in thinking about such things for now. If I don’t first look at the details of the mission itself, I’ll never get anything done.

「Get a glance of what Yawakaze Konagi’s panties look like when being worn Deadline May 11th (Saturday)」

...What? Wait, what? What exactly is this? No matter how many times I read the message, not a single letter of it changed.

Yawakaze Konagi...it is referring to THAT Yawakaze Konagi, right?

It was a name that anyone studying at Seikou High would have heard of, no matter whether they knew her in person or not.

Yawakaze Konagi is a second-year student currently ranked all the way up at number 3 of the Popular 5 rankings. Putting her naturally cute looks aside, her personality is apparently gentle as well, not to mention that she’s an airhead, which of course essentially makes her the walking personification of every man’s dreams.

She may not have as much personality as the other 4 on that list do, but her feminine cuteness itself is enough to garner popularity among the student population.

In fact, she was so popular that she actually has a group of students following her around like some sort of fan club all the time.

And I’m expected to sneak a peek at her panties...today is the 9th, a Thursday, which means the deadline is the day after tomorrow. Isn’t this a little too unreasonable?

“Kanade-san, is that a new mission?”

I nodded and told Chocolat the details.

“How exactly should I go about doing this?”

Hirano’s mission was hard enough, although making her laugh wasn’t exactly that much of a bad thing.

But for this mission, if a gust of wind would happen to just blow up her skirt with me in the line of sight it would be fine, but what the hell are the odds of that?

“Calm down, I’ll help you buy something called「Ten Secrets of Peeking at Women’s Panties」.”

“Wait a second, a book like that doesn’t exactly exist right?”

Also the book that guaranteed to have methods to make anyone laugh was completely useless.

“I even found a book called「Ten Tricks to Prevent Natsuhiko-san from Entering Your Rear Entrance」.”

“Cut it out already! Who is that anyway?”

“He’s a professional gay.”

“Professional?”

“Yes, he’s on a completely different level from a part-time gay like you.”

“Your assumption is completely wrong in the first place!”

“Huh, don’t tell me you’re a professional as well?”

“That’s nonsense, I’m perfectly normal!”

“I see, which means you’re a classic gay then.”

“OF COURSE NOT! I like girls!”

“Oh, so you stick it both ways.”

“To hell with all that sticking business!”

Part 2[edit]

“Sigh...”

My mood once again fell a few notches as I remembered my task, even though I was already emotionally devastated by being called a gay the first thing in the morning.

“Look at her panties? No matter how you think about it, it’s impossible...wait?”

In the midst of my mumbling, I noticed someone familiar near the entrance to our school dormitories. It was Yukihira.

Since I didn’t know how she would react after what happened on the roof yesterday, I greeted her with a tinge of nervousness.

“...Oh, good morning, Yukihira.”

Yukihira turned around, meeting my gaze, and after a brief silence -

“Good morning, you useless trash with only an attack power of five.”

She was her usual self.

“You sure are energetic first thing in the morning, huh.”

“Good morning, Dodoria-san.”

“Why are you suddenly imitating Frieza...” (TL note: Dodoria is an underling of Frieza in Dragon Ball.)

“I’ll mention this as well, my bounty is fifty-three thousand Beris.” (TL note: Beris/belis/bellies are a currency used in the One Piece universe.)

“I have a feeling we’re in the wrong manga.”

And that bounty would probably only be befitting of a group of mountain bandits.

“From your looks, you don’t seem to know how large of an amount fifty-three thousand Beris is.”

Of course not, who would know with you mixing together all those universes like that.

“With that much money you could buy an entire mountain of empty capsules.”

“Why would you want that much?”

“So we can fill them with water and use them to save Namu’s village.” (TL note: Namu is another character from Dragon Ball.)

“You’ve been reading too much manga!”

Yep, it was definitely the usual Yukihira.

“Right, Amakusa-san, I apologize for showing you my embarrassing side yesterday.”

Yesterday...she must be talking about how I slipped on that banana peel and caused her to laugh. The very subject matter I was trying to avoid was brought up by her instead.

“Since young I’ve been prone to laughing extremely hard easily. Normally this doesn’t happen but once someone manages to tickle my funny bone - especially with an overused punchline - I just explode.”

Her tone was completely calmed, and she didn’t seem to be embarrassed in the slightest.

“I guess this is what they call contrast moe.” (TL note: Contrast moe - if that’s what you call it - is a trait where someone exhibits a personality trait completely opposite from his/her usual behavior and appearing moe in the process, for example where Yukihira’s contrast moe is her laughing which she doesn’t usually do.)

She even personally explained the entire thing, putting whether it was moe or not aside, her current actions were completely different from her usual self -

Wait, contrast?

This term gave me a strange feeling. What was it? It felt like something was creeping about in the dark corners of my mind.

That was probably related to Yukihira using her traditional memory-erasing methods on me when I was still emotionally scarred from stumbling upon those X-rated boy-on-boy scenes. Leaving that aside for now, I seem to have witnessed something with an immense contrast...

“Ah, I remember a little of it now. Yukihira, weren’t you kneeling down on the roof back then?”

“!”

Yukihira’s eyes suddenly shot wide open.

“Right, right, you seemed to have said something weird - eh?”

“...That’s strange, Yukihira?”

When I opened my eyes I saw Yukihira’s head appearing diagonally upwards within my field of vision. Why am I on the floor with my back against the wall? What happened? I felt the back of my head in an attempt to remember the events of the past few moments.

“Ouch!”

I felt a massive bump, what the hell had happened earlier? I stood up while massaging that sore, all the while attempting to regroup my thoughts.

I remembered that Chocolat called my a gay which made me briefly emotionally devastated, after which i went to school where I met Yukihira at the entrance to our school dormitories...what happened after that?

Suddenly Yukihira’s voice cut through my thoughts, and what she said was:

“Good morning, you useless trash with only an attack power of five.”

“You’ve been reading too much manga!”

Our conversation ended just after she mentioned something about Namu and punchlines, but just as I was about to ask her what happened -

“It’s too dangerous for me to say any more...I’ll be on my way first, Amakusa-san.”

As she left behind this mysterious last line, she turned around and rushed upstairs.

“Ah, wait!”

She suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned around.

“Oh right, if you could just stay away from me for this period of time, I’ll be very happy.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you might spray out some weird stuff to make me pregnant.”

“Do you take me as some sort of wild beast!?”

Having spoken her mind, Yukihira disappeared from my sight at the end of the stairway.

Well, I knew that Yukihira has always been an oddball from the very start, but she seemed to be especially weird earlier.

Judging from the situation alone, it seemed that Yukihira had erased my memories once again...unless she said something that she didn’t want me to remember?

“?”

I felt a presence behind me, so I turned around.

It was a girl.

She walked straight towards me, as if she was thinking about something so hard that she was in her own world, not noticing me at all.

It would have probably been fine if I had just dodged a little to the side, but in the very instant that I saw her face and recognized who she was, my brain froze.

With my frozen body, and her state of aloofness, it was a foregone conclusion that we would crash into each other.

With a loud thump, she walked straight into my chest.

“Ouch, ouch...huh? What?”

She finally noticed my presence.

“Ah, I-I-I-I-I-I’m sorry!”

The color of her face instantly turned into a virulent shade of red, and she began retreating in rather exaggerated steps.

“Huh? Aahhhhh!”

She then managed to magically lose her balance on the flat surface of the corridor.

“Woah, be careful!”

She began wobbling from side-to-side.

“Waaaaaah!”

At long last, she collapsed onto the ground.

“Ugh...ouch.”

She actually managed to fall in such a position where her body was on the ground and her butt was pointing up to the air. It was the first time I saw such a manga-like scenario happen in real life.

“You are...Yawakaze Konagi, right?”

Undoubtedly, she was the very Yawakaze Konagi who was ranked third among Seiko Academy’s Popular Five.

Which means she is the person whose panties I absolutely must peek at.

“Um, do I...do I have something on my face?”

Crap, I stared too long.

“Ah, it’s nothing, I was just going to ask you a question. Are you hurt?”

“Oh, no, it’s fine.”

Yawakaze stood up and straightened out her skirt. Her voice was sweet, without any modulations or accents, making it extremely calming to hear.

“I’m sorry for bumping into you. I was thinking about what I want to eat later, so I forgot to pay attention to my surroundings...haha.”

She smiled shyly.

Her body seemed to emanate a gentle aura like a calm breeze, and her smile seemed as if it could calm any heart.

Yawakaze Konagi really lives up to her name. (TL note: This is referring to the Kanji of her name, 柔風小凪. The first two characters, 柔風, mean ‘gentle breeze’, while the last two characters, 小凪 mean ‘calming’.)

“I’m fine, but are you really alright? That fall seemed pretty heavy.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine, I’m used to this - ah!”

Halfway through her sentence, a loud rumbling came from Yawakaze’s stomach.

Although that sound was rather cute, there was no doubt that it was her stomach growling.

“Ah, this, um...it-it’s nothing, it’s just that I kinda overslept, so I came to school without eating breakfast, so...ah, n-no! That wasn’t my stomach!”

I was going to pretend that I hadn’t heard anything, but since she said it herself, I guess it can’t be helped. Her face was completely red, and she swung her arms about flusteredly.

W...what kind of moe creature is this? (TL note: Moe is the typical otaku term for something that is cute.)

I see, so this is the true power of the Popular Five. I realized something else during this first encounter with Yawakaze.

Yes, it was that a cute girl with a normal personality like her could be this cute.

Judging by appearances alone, Yuuouji, Yukihira and Yawakaze are all extreme beauties with hardly any slivers of differences between them, hence any attempt to judge the three would be up to personal preference alone.

Personality-wise, however, is a different story.

Anything that comes out of Yukihira’s mouth is either insults or lame jokes, while Yuuouji is in essence nothing but an immature grade-schooler.

Compared to those two weirdos, Yawakaze Konagi would seem to be an unbelievably pure young girl, even more so that she actually is.

“Oh, what am I still thinking about.”

This isn’t the time to be comparing. I still had the dilemma of peeking at Yawakaze’s panties within the next three days to think about.

“Um, are you Amakusa Kanade-san?”

Having snapped out of her previous embarrassed state, she asked me an unexpected question.

“Huh, yeah, that’s me.”

Considering how famous (for the wrong reasons) I am, there was no surprise that she would know my name and reputation. However, her tone seemed to be implying other things.

“I see. Ouka mentions you a lot.”

“Ouka? Right, you mean Yuuouji. You know her?”

“I don’t just know her, we’re pretty good friends too. We were classmates in first grade.”

Yawakaze smiled.

“Hmm?”

A strange feeling suddenly came over me. Although this should be the first time I’m getting in close contact with Yawakaze, her smile seemed somewhat familiar.

Do I know anyone like her?If I knew someone with such a dazzling smile, I definitely would not have forgotten that person...nope, I can’t think of anyone.

Forget it, these questions aren’t important, I should be concentrating on the mission at hand.

The fact that Yuuouji and Ouka are friends with each other would be a hugely beneficial piece of information for my mission.

Having a mutual friend would definitely help out in conversations or small talk. This might be the first time that Yuuouji left a positive impact on my life. First the coincidental meeting, then this unexpected discovery should give me a rather large head start. It may be impossible to just talk her into showing me her panties, but I guess it still helps in a way.

Sadly -

“W...what?”

My personal Grim Reaper, the Absolute Choices, bared its fangs and blew out the flickering candle of hope that had just been lit within my heart.

As I read the choices over again and again, the only thought I was able to muster was, **** you, you **** God.

“Amakusa-san, is something wrong?”

Yawakaze looked at me and asked. Her large and beady eyes were incredibly cute. They were seriously, dangerously cute.

I looked into those eyes and said blatantly to her:

“Cut the crap, could you let me see your panties?”

Part 3[edit]

“Ouch...dammit.”

My body was still aching even though it was approaching noon.

I could only collapse on my desk and recall the events from earlier.

After I said that line to Yawakaze, a large and burly hand immediately grabbed onto my shoulder.

I didn’t know that person, but the color of his tie told me that he was a third-year. While I was still trying to figure out who he was, that hand was already mercilessly dragging me away from the scene.

In the midst of my confusion, I noticed that i was being dragged into some sort of narrow and dark place. What waited for me there was a group of male students, all emanating an immense murderous intent.

I probably don’t need to elaborate about what happened next.

I’m guessing that was the fabled Yawakaze Guard.

I had previously heard that Yawakaze had a personal troop of followers that operated by a special code of actions, namely that they would watch over each other and prevent any one of them from confessing to her. I figured that it wasn’t like she was some sort of celebrity anyway, so they probably didn’t exist. Sadly, they did.

However, this troupe of hers is independently formed by the students themselves, so they didn’t hold any actual administrative powers within the school.

Normally speaking, they wouldn’t prevent a non-member like me from talking to Yawakaze...unless I perform some major act of sexual harassment.

「Choose: ① “Cut the crap, could you let me see your panties?”

② Take off your underwear on the spot and ask to exchange it with hers (just like footballers do).」

I’m not the kind of “hero” who would pick the latter option. Essentially speaking, Absolute Choices are usually made up of a horrible choice, and another even more horrible choice.

I’m honestly sorry for having to say something like that to her. If someone you didn’t know came up to you and asked to see your underwear, I bet you would feel uncomfortable as well.

“Amacchi, Amacchi.”

Something poked my shoulder from behind, interrupting my train of thought.

“Oh, it’s Yuuouji. I’m thinking about something, so leave me alone for a while.”

I had no time to fool around with her, what’s important now is to figure out how to apologize to Yawakaze about the panties, then ask her once again, more formally this time, to show them to me...I’m contradicting myself.

“What are you underwear-ing about?”

“W-what do you mean?”

Yuuouji’s question shocked me so much that I went into a falsetto.

“In class earlier, weren’t you muttering ‘underwear’ throughout the lesson?”

...Shit, I let out my thoughts without thinking.

“It’s nothing, but since you were going on and on about it I just wanted to know whether you have any underwear-related troubles.”

Man, I just had to attract the most annoying one of all.

“It’s nothing...nothing to do with you.”

“Haha, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Just let me, the walking Underwear Dictionary share your burden with you.”

You should be the one embarrassed for having a nickname like that.

Isn’t the embarrassed at all despite spouting the word ‘underwear’ at all so many times?

It might be by the same logic as how grade-schoolers would snicker while repeating meaningless words like ‘poop’ or ‘pee-pee’, but this young lady over here is in her second year of high school already...forget it, that’s Yuuouji for you.

“Hmm, I bet Amacchi just wants to look at panties, right??”

“Pfft! I-I never said that!”

I spat loudly, having had my mind seemingly read by her.

“Sigh, you let out everything earlier anyway. I was just pretending that I only heard a little in order to mess with you.”

What...did you say? You’re telling me that I forgot someone like you was sitting behind me, but also said everything about Yawakaze without realizing...my subconscious is horrifying.

Since the cat’s out of the bag already anyway, the only thing I can do now is to prevent Yuuouji from letting it loose.

“Yuuouji, please don’t say anything about this to her.”

Asking to see her panties to her face was bad enough, but if she knew that I was muttering about all that even in class our relationship would definitely deteriorate to the point of no return.

“Right, I get it, I won’t tell her. Anyway, Amacchi, why would you want to see her panties anyway?”

“That’s what I want to know myself. I’d never met Yawakaze before until today -”

“...Oh~?”

Yuuouji’s lips twisted in a sneer.

“I see~ so Amacchi wants to look at ‘’that’’ Yawakaze Konagi’s panties, huh.”

Huh? Didn’t she say that she had heard everything earlier, so why would she react in this manner...unless!

“Huh, how strange~ I never even asked whose panties it was, but this man over here revealed it himself. How interesting~”

Crap...I fell for it,hook, line and sinker.

Her tricking me was bad enough, but the fact that she had to imitate that little prick Odagawa Conan’s voice while doing enough pisses me off even more. (TL note: This is referring to the titular character of the manga series Detective Conan.)

“Since the truth’s out, how about you be honest with me now?”

“No, I don’t want to say anything to someone like you.”

“Hmm, you’re not in the position to be saying things like that, aren’t you? Konacchi’s my good friend, so it would be easy for me to destroy her impression of you, you know?”

Ugh...in an instant, the fact that the two girls knew each other turned from an advantage to a disadvantage.

“Come on, it’s better to suffer now than later, so out with it already.”

It’s practically impossible to dissuade Yuuouji from doing something when her curiosity is aroused. Since things have went this far, it would be better to tell her the truth then find a way to make her shut up rather than lie about it. Of course, I have to gloss over the important parts about the mission and all.

In order to avoid any misunderstandings, I spoke in a solemn manner:

“Yuuouji, due to some unwanted and unchangeable circumstances, I must peek at Yawakaze’s panties before Sunday,”

“Hoho, to think that you could say something like this with a straight face. Good on you, Amacchi.”

Who was the one that wanted me to do it in the first place?

“Trust me, my reasons are completely legitimate.”

I don’t want anyone to think that I’m some sort of pervert who just wants to think of panties, even if that person is Yuuouji,.

“Mm, so you want to see Konacchi’s panties, but you’re not doing this for your own lecherous needs?”

I nodded. “Looking at Yawakaze’s panties” is but a stepping stone on my quest to rid myself of Absolute Choices and nothing else.

“I see~ which means you, dear sir, wish to look at panties for no conscious reason. That’s deep...in fact it’s so deep that it’s practically philosophical territory now.”

Are you trying to get all those long-gone philosophers to rise up from the grave to come after you with all that nonsense you’re spouting?

“Think for a second, weren’t there some pioneers of Underwear-ism within the ranks of those ancient thinkers?”

“Apologize to Aristotle immediately!”

“Not to mention that many commonplace idioms and proverbs these days have their roots in underwear as well.”

Under Yuuouji’s influence, the conversation was being steered towards rather undesirable areas.

“Um, I can’t think of any.”

“For example, all roads lead to underwear.”

“Nonsense! Unless you’re telling me the capital of Italy has been a pair of underwear all this time!”

“Also,「Boys, be underwear!」...no, it’s「wear underwear」.” (TL note: This is a parody of William S. Clarke’s famous quote: Boys, be ambitious!)

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the only mistake!”

“Et underwear, Brutus!” (TL note: This is a parody of Julius Caesar’s alleged last words as he was stabbed to death while exiting the Senate. Upon seeing that his adopted son and confidante Brutus was one of his assailants, he cried out “Toi aussi, Brutus!”, meaning “You too, Brutus!”)(!))

“Leave Brutus alone!”

“I am a cat, and I have yet no underwear.” (TL note: This is a parody of the opening line of Natsume Souseki’s famous novel, I am a Cat, which reads ‘I am a cat, and I have yet no name.’)

“Cats don’t need underwear!”

“Because you said ‘Hey, this tastes great!’, henceforth July the sixth shall be our Underwear Anniversary.” (TL note: This is a parody of a line from a famous poem by Tawara Machi, Salad Anniversary, which reads ‘Because you said “Hey, this tastes great!”, henceforth July the sixth shall be our Salad Anniversary.’)

“What kind of occasion is that!”

“Heaven does not create underwear above or below another underwear.” (TL note: This is a parody of a famous quote from Japanese philosopher Fukuzawa Yuichi, “It is said that heaven does not create one man above or below another man.”)

“What are you trying to say!”

“Because I have the ability to look at myself objectively, unlike your underwear!” (TL note: This is a parody of former Japanese Prime Minister, Yasuo Fukuda’s rebuttal towards a reporter: “Because I have the ability to look at myself objectively, unlike you.”)

“Of course you can’t!”

Wait...shit, I got distracted again.

“But, why would you want to see Konacchi’s panties? Do you like her or something?”

That’s what I want to ask as well.

“Nope, this has nothing to do with emotions.”

To be honest, I did feel that Yawakaze is extremely cute after our encounter, so if you were to ask me whether I like her I guess I can only agree.

However, it was a different kind of “Like” than what Yuuouji specified, instead it’s more of a liking in the sense of how someone would like a television celebrity.

“So Amacchi’s saying that you don’t care about whether you like her or not, you just want to see a girl’s panties?”

“Uh...I guess.”

“So even if it’s a girl you don’t like, you would pull off her panties and sniff them deeply?”

“I never said that...”

“So you want to grab a girl’s panties, sniff them then breathesmoochsavorlicksmelassfdgg...”

“Stop speaking alien!”

Just as I raised my voice, I heard someone else’s voice coming from behind me.

“Um...I’m sorry for interrupting your pleasant conversation...”

As I turned around, I found our class monitor staring back at me. For the record, I’m not feeling pleasant at all, and neither was our conversation.

Never mind that for now. Our monitor who would usually have a bright smile plastered on her face now looked at me in a somewhat fearful yet condescending fashion, I wonder why is that so?

Don’t tell me she overheard our conversation from earlier and she thinks that I’m actually a person who would do things like that...probably so.

“Amakusa-san, someone’s looking for you.”

I followed our monitor’s gaze.

“Looking for me? Now who - huh?”

Standing in the corridor was Yawakaze Konagi.

“Hey, isn’t that Yawakaze?” “Oh my goodness, she’s really damn pretty.” “Why would she be looking for Amakusa...”

My classmates had noticed her presence as well, and they began murmuring to each other.

“Ah, pantsu Konacchi is here!”

“Stop your nonsense!”

“Ah, Konacchi’s coming over with those panties that Amacchi wants to see!”

“That’s even worse!”

Mustering all the energy I could to prevent Yuuouji from following me, I rushed out the door and slammed it shut behind me.

“Yawakaze, why are you looking for me all of a sudden?”

I originally figured that she would be hear to complain about what happened this morning, but it didn’t seem like she was, and besides it’s not like she’s that kind of a person.

Just as I was about to ask again, she replied.

“Um, is this yours?”

In the palm of her outstretched hand was a blue checkered handkerchief.

“Huh? Oh, it’s mine. I didn’t even notice I dropped it.”

It probably fell out while I was being dragged off earlier. Now why would she personally deliver that to someone like me who gave her such a horrible first impression?

“Really? That’s great.”

Also, she doesn’t seem to be harboring any malicious intent. To think that she can still smile so innocently, is she some sort of angel descended from the heavens?

“I apologize for the inconvenience, and thank you as well.”

“Oh, um, it’s nothing, actually...”

Even after passing the handkerchief to me, Yawakaze didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving yet. As she saw my confused expression, she looked down in embarrassment, then said awkwardly:

“Actually...about this morning...”

There was no need to go on further since she could only be referring to the panties incident. I was contemplating how to deal with this situation, but she did it for me anyway.

“How should I put this...I’m really sorry.”

“Ah, it’s alright, I’m not here to ask for an apology. Um, to be honest I’ve never had a guy ask me anything like that before, so I was kinda at a loss for words.”

Understandable.

“So...I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed for having to say this too but...I think that stuff like panties should only be shown to the people you like.”

“Gah!”

I nearly coughed up blood. I’m not joking, isn’t this against the law or something? Where has she been living all her life to be incapable of even holding suspicion against others? Has she only been associating with saints and angels all this time? You’re telling me she hasn’t even seen the dark side of society even after living for over a decade?

I finally understood how her fan club must feel. No one should have her to themselves, for she belongs to everyone!

Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of guilt overcame me. What did I tell this girl? Let me see your panties? ...I should die.

“I’m really sorry!”

It was then that I realized that a motion like kneeling down and kowtowing isn’t a conscious motion, but rather a reflex of the body.

“Ah, Amakusa-san, please don’t...”

Despite Yawakaze’s pleading, my forehead never left the floor.

Right there, I swore to myself - screw all those Absolute Choices and whatnot, I’m done, go eat a pile of shit. God? To hell with him, I won’t be pushed around by anyone else any longer, if you’re not happy with that -

「Choose: ① “So when will you let me see your panties?”

② To hell with it all, just become her panties and get over with it.」

...And they just had to arrive now. Why would you do something like that? And I had mustered up all my courage for that too, what exactly is your problem with me? Are you an idiot? Do you wanna die?

...Fine, I get it, talking won’t do me any good.

As usual, option number 1 is terrible, but number 2 seems kinda creepy this time round. If it means what I think it does, I might not even be able to stay human.

If this was a computer game, I would probably have picked that option for a laugh, but there are no save nor load states in real life.

In the end, I could only pick ①.

Normally I would just pick it already and then go home to cry myself to sleep, but this was a different case. I absolutely could not allow those words to taint this pure young maiden - Yawakaze Konagi’s ears.

“Ugh...”

My head began throbbing in bursts of violent pain, as if the Choices themselves were forcing me to make a decision.

But right now, all I want to do is defeat this goddamn curse!

“AAAAAAHHHHH!”

I contorted my face violently in my efforts to resist the pain, but to no avail.

“Amakusa-san, are you alright?”

“No, I’m perfectly fine-AAAARRRGHGHHHHHH!”

The extreme pain caused me to cry out. This is bad, this is bad, this is really bad! This feels worse than any pain I’ve felt! If this goes on I’ll really die!

Yawakaze...please forgive me!

“Argh...hah...hah...so, when, will you...let me...see your panties?”

As I finished my sentence, the tendrils of pain coiling around my head immediately disappeared.

“Huh? Eh? P-panties? Didn’t I just say that you should only be showing those things to the people you like!?”

Yawakaze is cute even when she’s flustered. She’s so damn cute.

Just as I was about to lose myself in her cuteness, a hand fell upon my shoulder.

“Who’s - oh.”

I turned around to face the large guy from earlier.

“Please follow me for a while.”

Part 4[edit]

“Ow...dammit.”

What waited for me at our destination was once again nothing but a torrent of violent insults and equally violent beatings.

“What are you trying to do to Yawakaze-san!” “To think someone from the Reject Five like you would want to talk to Kona-chan, wait a hundred more years instead!” “You dare say something like that to our dear Yawakaze-chan? Just die already!” “Oh? This guy’s butt actually looks pretty good.”

...I hope I misheard that last one.

Back to the topic, this defence is a little too exaggerated. Having guards patrolling around her during every single break is pretty much borderline stalking, right?

At long last, I managed to drag my aching body back to my classroom.

“Hoho~ I see that you’ve been taught a good lesson.”

Yuuouji sneered at me from her seat right behind mine.

“Amacchi, do you need my help?”

“With?”

“You know, with Kona-chan’s panties.”

What the hell is she talking about now?

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun.”

She replied without an ounce of thought.

“Because it’s fun? Why, you...”

“Hmm? Is there something wrong? Would you like me to do boring things instead?”

Yuuouji replied defiantly, causing me to be momentarily at a loss for words. Using adjectives like fun and boring as objective standards for actions are clearly childish actions, contrary to her age.

As humans grow older, the burdens they have to carry increases, not to mention the behavior expected of them varies as well, thus the things they can do slowly decrease.

Sure, behavior expected of a high-schooler may not be comparable to that of, say, a social worker, but we still have such restrictions...sadly for Yuuouji, that doesn’t seem to be the case. How tragic.

“Let’s look at this from your position, are you sure you should be doing something like that? I’m trying to peek at your friend’s panties, you know?”

“Amacchi, your words don’t seem to match your actions.”

“Huh?”

Yuuouji didn’t give me a direct answer.

“Don’t you always say something weird or do weird things? I have a feeling that doesn’t seem to be the real you.”

My body tensed up unconsciously.

“But, it doesn’t seem like you’re acting or you have some sort of schizophrenic disorder, instead it feels like you’re being forced into doing these things, which is why that sense of reluctance is there. Are you hiding a secret?”

Yuuouji giggled as she finished her sentence.

I was speechless. She may not have guessed the existence of the Absolute Choices, but she was close enough.

“So, because you’re so interesting, let me observe you for a little longer!”

She suddenly darted forward until her forehead was mere centimeters from mine.

“Hey, what are you...!”

I hurriedly backed away.

Although Yuuouji is incredibly childish and immature, there’s no dispute that she’s unbelievably beautiful for her age.

Being a perfectly healthy and fit teenage male, there’s no way to resist such charm especially when it’s directly in front of me.

“Huh?”

Conversely, Yuuouji didn’t seem to notice anything, She...is she really sixteen?

No; even though she was somewhat short, her over-developed chest and the small snatch of waist revealed underneath her vest both indicated that she was way above the standard of that of a normal sixteen-year-old. It’s just that her brain’s somewhat undeveloped.

“Can’t you just...never mind, forget what I said.”

“Huh?”

Attempting to explain to her the attraction between people of the opposite sex would be like attempting to get a monkey to write Shakespeare. Her condition was so bad that sometimes I wonder whether she should just continue bathing with her parents or something.

“Heh. Amacchi, no matter how much you may hate it, you can’t escape me.”

Yuuouji seemed to have misunderstood my retreat. Despite the difference in character and gender, she still reminded me of a stereotypical harem male lead.

Every single time I see characters like those acting completely oblivious to various advances from all sorts of girls, I feel like killing someone.

Anyway, that’s just my pet peeve, back to the topic...Yuuouji made me realize that people like that might actually exist in the real world.

After seeing her manage to sniff out my predicaments so easily earlier, it’s genuinely hard to believe that she can have such a disparity between her intelligence and personality.

“Having went through this past month, I feel like I pretty much understand Amacchi now. I can tell that you weren’t lying earlier when you said you aren’t doing this for lecherous means.”

Yuuouji changed the subject in an instant, her tone dripping with confidence.

“I know that I shouldn’t be doing this, but do you really believe something as suspicious as that?”

“Is there anything strange about that? When two people have known each other for long enough, isn’t it only reasonable that they can read each other’s thoughts through gazes and gestures alone?”

The indignant and yet self-indulgent, honest tone that she spoke in made me question her state of mind yet again.

“Honestly, Konacchi has a very low immunity towards guys, so if we don’t hurry up to think of a way to peek at her panties, this might turn out poorly in future.”

Putting her panties aside, at least we saw eye-to-eye.

There aren’t exactly any students with actual disciplinary issues over here in Seiko High, and taking Yawakaze’s fan club into consideration as well, she shouldn’t be in any actual danger; but when she moves on to university in the big city, she might bump into some hooligans who would do weird things to her.

Well, if I were one of those hooligans I would definitely want to do weird things to her. Let me specify once again, only “If I were one of those hooligans”.

Speaking of which, Yuuouji’s brains only really shine when she’s thinking of helping others. Even if the subject matter is panties.

However, when the three of us including Yukihira are together, she seems to be able to understand all the dirty punchlines she makes, so it’s not that she doesn’t know about those things, it’s just that she fails to make the connection between those things to herself.

“Hmm, things are starting to get interesting.”

Yuuouji appeared as excited as a young child.

“Ah...”

As I saw her expression, I instantly realized why I felt a sense of familiarity from my very first conversation with Yawakaze.

It was because of Yuuouji.

Don’t misunderstand me, Yawakaze and Yuuouji are extremely different, in fact you could even call them polar opposites, but I’m not referring to anything material like appearances or actions. How should I put it, I’m referring to the essence of their beings.

Both of them could express their own true feelings without any modifications nor alterations. The closest adjective I can use to describe people like them is, well, pure.

This essence of theirs could be briefly glimpsed through every single action and movement of theirs. That was why these two people could give me the same impression despite being so different otherwise.

However, no matter how similar their qualities were, the nature of these qualities were extremely different, with Yawakaze being traditionally pure, in a sense.

“Hehe, Konacchi, just you wait and see how I’ll show your panties to the world.”

As I looked at Yuuouji who was sneering while contemplating how to get a guy to peek at her best friend’s panties, a strange phrase, ‘Impure purity’ surfaced in my mind.

Part 5[edit]

“...Sigh.”

I halted my footsteps right outside my own house, It seems that I’ve been sighing quite a lot these few days.

I was planning to apologize to Yawakaze after school, but sadly I was deterred by her bodyguards. It seems that they’ve placed their full attention on me after those two incidents.

Yuuouji said that she would think of a plan by tonight, but to be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, considering the lack of resources I had at hand.

As for what kind of resources would come in handy for peeking at panties, please don’t ask.

“Oh, Kanade-san, welcome home.”

I pushed open the door to my house weakly only to see Chocolat skip merrily towards me.

“Hmm? Why do you seem so down today?”

“Let’s just say the circumstances of my mission have become rather messed up.”

Chocolat suddenly sneered as she heard this,

“Hehe~ let me tell you something, I managed to get something extremely useful for you today.”

She handed me a book. She couldn’t be referring to that 「Ten Secrets of Peeking at Women’s Panties」...right?

「Ten Surefire Methods to Acquire Women’s Panties~ You Too Can Be the Next King of Perverts!~」

“This is even worse!”

T-the title says acquire, you heard me? Acquire! Also, the subtitle’s just being an asshole.

Even someone without a brain would be able to tell that the contents would be just as bad as last time’s...

“It took me a really long time to find this!”

However when faced with Chocolat’s bushy, waggling tail as well as her expression that seemed to be saying “Please praise me!”, I just couldn’t bring myself to reject her.

“Fine, I’ll take a look or two.”

“Here you go!”

Followed by Chocolat whose eyes were glittering in excitement, I walked over to the couch in the living room and flipped the book open.

This incredibly thick book somehow had a content summary page, so I started there.

「① Steal.」

Why are they using such drastic measures right off the bat!?

「Explanation: This should only be used as a last resort.」

Then don’t put it at the front of the book! And don’t encourage illegal activities!

「② Tears.」

What’s this supposed to mean, do I have to cry while begging the other party to give me her panties or something...? Nah, too strange...probably not.

「Explanation: An example would go something like “Sob...cry...p-please, just give me...your panties...already...huh? You don’t want to? ...Sob...don’t! Don’t...stop delaying it already...g-give them to me...sob...give...me...”」

Don’t you know what the word “Dignity” means!?

「Footnote: Your passionate tears will definitely touch her heart.」

That won’t happen even if the sun rises in the west!

「③ Use “I left my underwear at home, so could you lend me yours?” as an excuse.」

Why is the tone this casual!?

「Explanation: Try and smile the brightest smile you can while trying this, as it’ll probably increase your chances of success.」

That’ll just make it seem even more disgusting!

「Footnote: You can always pray that she’s wearing white panties and that she would say something like “Oh, what a coincidence. Now I just have to lend them to you!”」

What normal, sane girl would do that!?

「④ Syllogism.」

Syllogism? I think I heard about that somewhere before.

I remember it was some logical argument that relied on making a conclusion from two other established and co-related facts, something along the lines of “Humans are mortal” -> “I am a human” -> “Therefore I am mortal”.

「Explanation: Something like “All males like women’s panties.” -> “I’m a male, and you’re a woman.” -> “Therefore you must give me your panties.”」

That’s the worst logic I’ve ever heard!

「⑤ Use the Three-Step Process of acquiring panties.」

Three-Step Process? That seems new,

「Explanation: Pull up her skirt -> Rip off her panties -> Profit.」

That’s just a description of a crime!

「Footnote: I suddenly thought up a concept of a goblin that steals panties, so I wrote it out here.」

Keep those things to yourself!

「⑥ Go to those kind of shops to buy them.」

Slow down a little, this may be the fastest method, but it doesn’t seem right...

「Explanation: Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can buy used panties.」

That sentence seems deeper than it should be...

「Footnote: But used panties can bring some people happiness...what exactly is happiness?」

Don’t ask me!

「⑦ Raise your fists in the air and shot “I want a girl’s panties!”」

This was...what Oolong did, right? (TL note: This is a reference to a supporting character in Dragon Ball, Oolong, whose first wish to Shenrong was a pair of female panties.)

「Explanation: This will only end in tragedy if Shenrong’s not around.」

Which basically means it’ll always end in tragedy!

「⑧ It’s just a pair of panties, there’s nothing to be ashamed of!」

I bet you just wanted to write this for the hell of it!

「Explanation: Sorry, i just put this one in for fun.」

I knew it!

「⑨ Join Underwear-ism.」

Now what the hell is that...

「Explanation: When attending any one of their meetings, members are only permitted to wear a single piece of underwear.」

If this thing really exists it must be some sort of paradise for males.

「Footnote: Only males are allowed to join.」

Ugh!

「⑩ Steal.」

Now we’re back to square one!?

「Explanation: I...uh, really can’t think of a tenth one.」

Then don’t write the book in the first place!

「Footnote: Never mind, since you’ve read this far, I’m sure you’ll be able to think of even more ways to acquire women’s panties.」

Bullshit, you just couldn’t think of another way!

「Good luck!」

Shut up!

“Bullshit...this is complete bullshit.”

I had already mentally prepared myself for the worst, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.

“Hmm, was it that bad? The insider reports on Underwear-ism were pretty interesting.”

“Bleh...I bet you just like it because you’re a fujoshi.” (TL note: Fujoshi refers to a female that likes yaoi, commonly referred to as boy’s love: BL.)

“Also, this book actually has ninety percent of it covering that topic.”

“Which basically means the title is complete crap!”

Needless to say, this must be UOG’s fault. It may not have been directly penned by Yuuouji, but anyone seeing this would definitely have their impressions of her take a huge hit.

“Kanade-san, here.”

Chocolat suddenly stretched her head towards me...does she want me to pet it?

“Hehe.”

I’ll do just that then. Chocolat’s tail shot up straight while her head was being stroked, and she began smiling from ear to ear.

Alright, since she bought this book for my sake anyway, if this makes her happy I won’t be stingy about it. To be honest, she’s still pretty cute this way.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m referring to the kind of cute as in how a master would call his pet cute -

“What are you doing this time?”

Chocolat suddenly put her hands on her hips and puffed up her chest.

“Here, praise me more.”

Didn’t I just pet you?

“What’s that, you don’t need to be shy, OK? Here, use all the praises you know and shower me with them...ah, unless you’re dwarfed by the sheer extent of my greatness? Hmm, then use material things to reward me instead. Right, tonight I intend on eating Wagyu beef -” (TL note: Wagyu beef is a type of premier Japanese beef.)

“Oi, don’t go too far.”

I flicked her forehead lightly.

“Ow! K-Kanade-san’s bullying me...”

Her tail sagged flatly. How does that thing even work?

“Ah, Kanade-san, earlier you said that you bumped into some difficulties. So you met Yawakaze-san already?”

Chocolat transitioned from being at the verge of tears to smiling once again in a mere ten seconds, once again displaying her ability to undergo extreme mood swings.

“You could say that...”

In order to change the subject from all that praising, I told Chocolat about everything that had happened.

“I see. To think that they actually took notice of Kanade-san’s butt, there must be some really strong ones over in her fan club.”

Although she did end up placing her attention on what was arguably the most unimportant detail of the whole story, that once again piqued my curiosity on the guy’s sexuality.

“Speaking of which, Yawakaze’s just too innocent, so I kinda feel bad for having to drag her into things like this.”

“Hmm, I see. Fine, in order to minimize your potential guilt, I’ll rehearse with you for a while.”

“Wait, why?”

I didn’t know what to think of that proposition.

“There aren’t that many people around that are more innocent than me. Here, I’ll chat with you, anything to make you happy!:

I get it, this little puppy doesn’t have any shred of self-awareness. I’ll just use this opportunity to point that out.

“Chocolat, I’m going to tell you something very important - innocence may be similar to airheaded-ness at first glance, but they’re actually very far apart.”

“Hmm? So that Yawakaze-san’s an airhead?”

“I’m referring to you!”

“H-huh?”

“Don’t you ‘Huh?’ me!”

“Oh, I get it. So your eyes are just useless holes.”

“Your BRAIN is a useless hole!”

Part 6[edit]

The next day, the first thing that Yuuouji said as she stepped into class was:

“Aye, Commander of the Conquest for Yawakaze’s Panties, Amacchi, good morning!”

“Too loud, too long and too confusing!”

I wouldn’t really have minded if any of my classmates had heard that, but if anyone within the Yawakaze fan club were to hear that I shudder to think of my potential fate. Yuuouji dragged me over to her seat and asked:

“Amacchi, have you figured out a good way to get a glimpse of Konacchi’s panties?”

I shook my head. I got a feeling that the main problem we were dealing with wasn’t the methods available.

Although technically I could forcefully pull up her skirt to expose her panties, I felt that it would be too immoral, and besides I don’t have the balls.

So I sacrificed my sleep and thought through the night, but sadly to no avail.

“Konacchi’s an extreme airhead, so there’s the possibly that she might trip over and expose her panties in the process.

Hmm, she did after all display her talent for falling over during our very first encounter. It’s just that she follows the school rules to the book, so her skirt is longer than most girls here, completely different from Yuuouji’s which was way shorter than most.

Basically even if she were to fall over in an extremely exaggerated manner with her butt in the air and all, I don’t think her panties would even come close to showing. I shouldn’t be expecting something like that to happen.

Not to mention that I just can’t entrust my fate to random chance based on the currently limited time that I have.

“We could also try to copy the typical shoujo manga style, you know like when she’s rushing to school because she’s late, intentionally dash out the corner she’s turning and bump into her. You never know, she might be biting onto a pair of panties instead of a half-eaten piece of bread.” (TL note: In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘panties’ and ‘bread’ is similar.)

“Bullshit! Who the hell would mistake panties for toast like that!?”

“Hmm, if you put it as toast it doesn’t sound similar any longer.”

“Come on, just because two things sound similar it doesn’t mean they look similar.”

“Huh, but don’t Inoki and Koinoki look similar?” (TL note: She’s referring to Japanese wrestlers Antonio Inoki and Antonio Koinoki.)

“That’s because it’s an intentional imitation!”

Are you kidding me...fine, she’s actually kidding me.

“Heh, relax, Amacchi. I was just fooling around earlier, but I do have a secret weapon up my sleeve.”

Yuuouji pulled out a suspicious-looking bottle from her pocket.

“Hey...that’s not「Abazuren Z」again, is it?”

“Nah it’s not, it’s too dangerous, so it got confiscated.”

That was good news. She has her own problems to deal with, while UOG has its corporate morals to uphold.

It was a world-famous transnational corporation after all, which made complete sense, but they still had exceptions like UOG Publishings...anyway it’s a good thing they recalled a product like that.

“So, here’s my newly concocted drug, ta-dah~!”

Yuuouji raised the bottle and yelled.

Hmm...can things like those really be made over the span of a single night?

“Here, for you.”

I took the bottle from her, feeling about ten percent anticipation and ninety percent fear while doing so. The liquid within the bottle was somewhat sticky, so it’s probably for external application and not for consumption. Looking at the label, the product’s name was hand-written on it.「Skirt-lifting Ointment」. A frank yet uncreative name like that began slowly pushing my feelings of anticipation towards zero.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to say something like as long as I rub this on her she’ll have the desire to lift up her skirt?”

“Yep, that’s exactly it.”

Yuuouji nodded cheerfully, but I wasn’t about to buy it just like that.

「Abazuren Z」may have good effects as an aphrodisiac, but achieving an effect like that of this「Skirt-lifting Ointment」seemed too good to be true. In fact, it was almost like magic.

“To be precise, they’ll end up lifting up their skirts. The area that this ointment is applied on will momentarily be extra sensitive towards pain, so for example if one were to rub it on her thigh she would feel extremely uncomfortable just if their skirt were to brush past the area.”

Well, at least that makes more sense.

“So is this dangerous?”

“Ah, calm down, the effects wear off very quickly. I used my mom as a test subject this morning.”

“What do you take your mother as!”

I seem to recall that her mother had been used as a guinea pig for「Azaburen Z」as well.

“My mother’s a huge M anyway, so she naturally enjoys being experimented on or being someone’s lab rat.” (TL note: M = Masochist)

“Isn’t that a little too unexpected!?”

Huge M? Kyouka Yuuouji? To someone who’s used to seeing her calm demeanor delivering speeches on television like me, I just can’t imagine the thought.

“Let me just ask...what happened?”

“She was in so much pain she began crying out, and immediately took her skirt off.”

“Throw that stuff away NOW!”

Jokes may be jokes, but fantasizing can sometimes go too far.

Deducing from Yuuouji’s age, her mother must be at the very least in her thirties, but from all her appearances in media she seems to be no older than twenty.

To have such a beauty like her take off her skirt...that must be heaven.

Nonononono, why am I fantasizing about my classmate’s mom like that? Am I a pervert?

“You can’t just use something this potent on Yawakaze.”

“But my mom later was very happy about it. She even said it felt pretty good.”

“Only your mom would say things like that!”

If any of her fans were to hear that, they would definitely go mad.

Also, instead of using something like that, I’d rather lift up her skirt myself.

“Sigh...”

As expected, Yuuouji’s plan ended up being completely useless.

But, I guess I don’t have the right to judge her considering I’ve yet to think of a back-up plan myself. Isn’t there any form of inspiration that I can utilize to complete this mission?

“Ah!”

Yuuouji looked towards the window and cried out in surprise, albeit silently. Students from the class next to ours were donned in tracksuits and currently all heading towards the stairs. I kinda feel bad for them for having to take PE lessons first thing in the day.

“Hmm, Class 2 and Class 9, they should be attending PE lessons together with Konacchi’s Class 15.”

I knew Yuuouji had a great memory, but I didn’t think she would bother with memorizing meaningless things like that.

“Girls typically take much longer than guys, which means they’re probably still changing...and so must Konacchi.”

Yuuouji sneered.

“Right, I’ll launch a sneak attack on the changing room!”

“Ah! Wait!”

“Whoosh whoosh!”

Before I could stop her, Yuuouji had already jumped off her chair and dashed off into the corridor like the wind.

“I’m back!”

A few minutes later, Yuuouji once again crashed her way into the class, then braked sharply right in front of me, producing a rather unpleasant shrieking noise from her shoes.

“Reporting to Captain Amakusa, Konacchi’s panties are sexier than expected, over!”

A few guys in the vicinity immediately turned to look at us.

“Watch it, you’re too loud!”

“The color is just like everyone else’s, it’s white, over!”

“Just shut up already!”

Do you want to frame me by convincing others it was me who sent you to do it or something!?

“Anyway, it’s useless even if you were to see it.”

I pulled her over to a corner and whispered to her.

“Hehe, Amacchi, don’t look down on UOG’s skills.”

“Hmm? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Yuuouji pulled out a pencil-shaped object from her chest pocket. The object was emitting a shiny luster akin to that of a metal, and it had a somewhat futuristic feel to it.

“This is one of the top secret pencil-shaped cameras my family has been developing, it’s able to scan the images left behind on a person’s cornea and project them into 3D images even in thin air!”

It can project the images left behind on a person’s cornea? Does technology as advanced as that really exist now? Although I wouldn’t dare to confidently deny the possibility that UOG may possess such things, considering how it’s at the peak of worldwide technological development...

“I was joking, it would be too easy if things like that existed.”

“How dare you lie to me!”

A few precious seconds of my life was spent on thinking of useless possibilities just like that.

“Don’t get angry now, Amacchi. My eyes really have Konacchi’s image left imprinted on them~”

She pulled out a notebook, and began using the pencil (it was actually just a pencil) to draw.

“Hmm. Here, it’s done!”

I was shocked speechless as I took the notebook from her.

“This is...”

The quality of the drawing was way beyond what I had imagined, with every single detail from the patterns of the lace to the brand of the manufacturer, it was almost like an actual photo. How many useless talents does this fellow have anyway?

“Now that you know what to expect from your target, it should be easier for you now to make your move.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course, now you don’t need to waste your time asking her「What kind of panties are you wearing?」.”

“Now why would I do that!”

Then again, I had asked way worse questions just yesterday.

“Then how about saying something like「I saw through what kind of panties you were wearing long ago!」just to scare her?”

“Why the hell do I have to phrase it like a line from an action manga?”

“Hmm...the overall body lets off a fragrant yet exotic scent, the details are unbelievably intricate, the art is an absolute feast for the eyes, not to mention the powerful taste of the item itself, as well as the unique tangy flavor of the silk material...clearly this deserves a perfect score.”

“Stop your bullshit!”

I could tell that she was attempting to describe the sketch in terms of, say, that used in a cooking manga, but sadly she was trying too hard.

“It’s not like I like that pair of panties anyway!”

“No normal tsundere would ever be caught dead saying that!”

Forget it, if she wants to screw around, I’ll let her.

“Anyway, if I don’t arrange for you and Konacchi to meet up you won’t ever see them right?”

Yuuouji has this habit of steering the conversation far away from the topic then suddenly bringing it back again, something which I have yet to get used to.

“You’re right, but with the surveillance from her bodyguards...”

Those acts of sexual harassment from yesterday were enough to get me on their radar. Well, I was technically asking for it.

“Hmm, the Yawakaze Guard...I’ve got it, just leave everything to me!”

Yuuouji thumped her chest once and said:

“Fine, I’ll go get ready, so let’s talk again during our afternoon break.”

As she spoke, that sneer of hers once again surfaced...can I really trust her with this?

Soon enough, our afternoon break arrived.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting. We can’t waste any time here, let’s go!”

I followed the easily excitable Yuuouji out of class. When we were approaching Class 8 that was located in the middle of the hallway, however, we found a male student standing in the middle of the corridor, blocking our path.

“Hold it, that guy can’t pass here.”

I will never forgot that muscular body and those thick eyebrows. He was that very third-year who dragged me off for my punishment yesterday.

“Hmm? Isn’t this Todou-senpai, captain of the Yawakaze Guard?” (TL note: I’m translating from Chinese so this may not be correct, for reference the original text is 藤堂, edits welcome. Also, remove this when done.)

As he heard Yuuouji’s remark, the third-year who apparently was named Todou was apparently shocked, and his eyebrows raised slightly. From his stance I could kind of tell that he might be the ringleader of that little troupe, and his reaction all but confirmed my suspicions.

“You’re Yuuouji Ouka of the「Reject Five」...why would Yawakaze-san have a friend like you?”

Todou-senpai glared at Yuuouji as if she was annoying him. I can’t say I don’t completely understand how he’s feeling.

I’m sure that when he thinks of the girl he likes - and such a pure one at that - was friends with someone like Yuuouji, he must be incredibly worried that she might be contaminated by Yuuouji’s horrible influence.

Conversely, it’s a miracle that Yawakaze could remain so pure even after making friends with someone like her.

“Senpai, we’re just here to speak to Konacchi for a while, so could you let us pass~”

“Nope. I’m alright with you going through, but that Amakusa Kanade over there seems to have malicious intentions towards our Yawakaze-san, so definitely not.”

“It’s not that bad. We just want to look at her panties.”

...Yuuouji-san, isn’t that pretty much a malicious intention?

As expected, Todou-senpai replied while glaring at us even more viciously.

“No matter what?”

“No matter what.”

Upon seeing Senpai’s reaction, Yuuouji smiled even brighter.

“I guess there’s no other way then.”

She went on her tiptoes next to Todou-senpai and began whispering in his ear.

After a short while -

“- !”

It was the first time in my life that I witnessed someone’s facial expression undergo a complete transition from anger to paleness in such a short time.

“H-how did you -!”

Todou-senpai’s powerful and intimidating stance from earlier completely disappeared. Even the roughness in his voice disappeared as well.

“Heheh, Senpai, what do you think would happen if Konacchi were to hear that?”

“W-wait just a second! P-please...don’t do anything rash! I’m willing to do anything!”

“Hmm...anything?”

When faced with Yuuouji’s devilishly posed question, even Todou-senpai could only nod pitifully without hesitation. This woman...what did she tell him?

“Even run ten laps around our school track half naked?”

“Yes!”

He actually agreed.

“What about the same thing but with your lower half naked?”

“I’ll do it!”

He actually agreed!”

“What about entering a bathtub complete naked?”

“I’ll do it!”

That’s just a normal bath!”

“Haha, it’s fine, I won’t go that far. I just need you all, not just you, but even the other members of the Guard to turn a blind eye to anything Amacchi and I do to Konacchi, OK?”

“You...you want me to let a pervert like him...”

A person like him who actually agreed casually to streak naked around the school somehow had difficulties with this request.

Am I really that horrible of a person in his eyes...

“Hmm~ I won’t just tell Konacchi then, I’ll even tell it to every single member of the Guard, I’m sure the results will be entertaining~”

“Urgh! I-I get it! I won’t let them touch you, so please don’t do anything rash!”

Todou-senpai said while stretching out an arm as if to request help.

“Thanks, Senpai. My mouth doesn’t run, so just relax and nothing will happen.”

Yuuouji shook his hand then swaggered past him with arrogant footsteps...how is anyone going to relax with a person like you around?

I merely nodded apologetically towards him and began following after her.

“What exactly did you tell him?”

“Haha, everyone has one or two secrets that they wish to take with them to the grave.”

Um, the problem is how you managed to get hold of one of such secrets. The fact that she could smile as purely as a child after threatening someone like that was even scarier.

After experiencing Yuuouji’s true capabilities once again, we arrived outside Class 15, aka Yawakaze’s class.

“Pardon me -!”

Yuuouji pulled open the door violently as if to cause a ruckus, attracting the attention of many.

“Hey, aren’t those two from Class 1...” “Those are Amakusa and Yuuouji from the「Reject Five」right?” “She was the one that ran into the changing room while we were changing in the morning, right?” “Yuuouji’s so cute.”

Yuuouji ignored the gazes that she had stolen from virtually everyone present. It’s exactly moments like these that I’m really jealous of attention-grabbers like her; while common plebeians like me can only remain in her shadows.

“Oh, Konacchi~”

“Ah, it’s Ouka!”

As Yawakaze saw Yuuouji, she immediately excused herself from her classmate that she was having lunch with then ran over cheerfully, after which -

“Whoa!”

She tripped violently.

“Ow, it’s been the third time today...”

She wiped her eyes while struggling to stand.

This...this is amazing. Normally someone as clumsy as that would attract hateful gazes from others as it would seem overly deliberate, but that was not the case for Yawakaze.

The expressions of the female students around her seemed to indicate that there was nothing intentional about her actions as well.

Female high school students (seem to be) creatures that hate their own kind while insisting on fawning over boys they like, but they seem to consider Yawakaze as a sort of airheaded sister of theirs, and their eyes were filled with pity. Maybe they thought she was dumb enough not to warrant their attention, so they couldn’t bother with being jealous of her. It was then that I thought of something related. Even after such a bad fall, her skirt only hiked up slightly.

Considering how long her skirt was, I don’t think even the lining of her panties would show if she did a full roll backwards. I guess I really can’t place my hopes on her panties being revealed by accident.

“Ah~ Konacchi’s as cute as always~”

“Hmph, what are you talking about, it hurts - ah!”

It appears Yawakaze had only now noticed my presence.

“Um, Amakusa-san...er...I...”

She seemed to have something to say, but in the end she merely looked down without saying anything. I guess it can’t be helped considering I’m the one who asked her to show me her panties twice.

Speaking of which, it’s a miracle that she hasn’t treated me as some sort of freak by now.

“Oh, hello. Yawakaze, I’m really sorry for saying all those weird things to you yesterday.”

I bowed deeply as an apology. The circumstances were similar to yesterday’s, causing me to pray that the Absolute Choices would not come to screw this one up. Luckily, they didn’t.

“Ah...don’t worry, I’m not angry. But...why did you...um...why...why do you want to see my panties that badly?”

“Huh? Nah, it’s just...”

At this point, Yuuouji attempted to fill in for me while I was still struggling to formulate a sentence:

“Ah, excuse me Konacchi, allow me to say something. Our Amacchi over here tends to say the opposite of what he actually means when he gets really tense, so he actually doesn’t want to look at your panties.”

Um...could you please not take your liberties with my personality?

“Opposite from...what he thinks?”

See, Yawakaze believed it.

“Amakusa-san...you actually want to see male underwear?”

You’ve got that completely wrong!

“No, it’s not that kind of opposite. He doesn’t want to see underwear, instead he wants to show you his underwear.”

“That’s not it either!”

“Haha, so you want to see inside-out underwear?”

“I’m pretty sure that fetish doesn’t exist! Also I don’t have that sort of problem!”

“So you just want to see panties then?”

“Exactly...hey!”

Dammit...is this woman really here to help me?

“Haha, you both really get along well.”

Yawakaze giggled while covering her mouth slightly.

Oh come on, why are you acting like our class monitor? I’m not getting along with her at all, in fact if given the chance I would punch her twice in the face. I’m not even talking about a normal punch, I mean a bloody haymaker.

“Right, Konacchi, do you have time to hang out with me tomorrow?”

“Huh? Oh, I think so. I don’t have club activities tomorrow so it should be fine.”

“Hear that, Amacchi?”

Yuuouji said while giving me a thumbs-up. It appears getting Yawakaze to go out with her was the purpose of our little visit.

“Um...does Yawakaze mind going with me?”

It’s sad, but if I were in Yawakaze’s shoes I would violently deny this request.

“Ah, it’s fine, we were previously discussing whether we should bring guys along anyway. Right, Konacchi?”

Yawakaze nodded shyly.

“Mm, Daddy said that I should get into contact with guys around more, as long as Ouka’s around to keep me company.”

It appears that everyone who knows her seems to be extremely sensitive about this matter, which was probably why Yuuouji mentioned specifically that they would be going together. If her parents were to know that Yawakaze was so innocent and defenseless towards guys, they would definitely be worried to death.

“Previously a lot of guys had attempted to ask me out too, but all of them were dragged away by that muscular Senpai...”

The Yawakaze Guard really is fearsome. I should really be thanking Yuuouji for getting them out of the way.

“Right, so it’s decided. So where shall we go -”

Yuuouji swiftly planned out everything for us. Our destination would be the large shopping mall located three bus stops away from our school, and considering that they had everything from stores to amusement facilities, it was probably an appropriate choice.

“Very well, so now regarding our preparation...hmm? Konacchi, your hairpin looks awfully unique.”

Yuuouji pointed to Yawakaze’s head.

“You mean this? Oh, this...that person gave it to me.”

“I see~ that means it has「It」as well, right?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, I see.”

Yuuouji appeared to have understood something, and she appeared as if she was concocting some sort of scheme. Also, there are people who regularly send Yawakaze gifts? She’s like some sort of celebrity.

“It’s an anonymous present just the same, but considering the person spent money on it I would feel bad if I didn’t use it...”

“Hmm, I get what you mean. Gifts should be used and not stuffed away in safes or lockers~”

“Yuuouji, have you ever received gifts?”

With her looks that would normally have earned her a place on the Popular Five, it would be normal if she had any admirers; not to mention that it may not be very surprising if there were someone that would actually find her personality appealing among our vast student population.

“Yes, sir! Actually I have it with me right now.”

I looked her over from top to bottom. Yuuouji may be breaking countless school regulations what with her bellybutton exposed and her skirt being too short, but she didn’t appear to have any accessories on her. The only possibility would be that it was a cellphone strap or something. Yuuouji appeared to have guessed what I was going to ask, and she replied frankly:

“Panties.”

“...What?”

“You know, panties? The ones you wear under a skirt?”

Panties? Sending girls panties? Are you joking...if it’s the person’s lover or husband or something, it would be fine, but anonymously? What the hell must that person be thinking?

“And it’s laced too. Red laced panties.”

Why would anyone send that? Why would you wear it? Why would you tell me that?

This probably can’t be considered as a case of like-calls-to-like, but I guess someone like Yuuouji really attracts strange admirers. Compared to this, Yawakaze’s hairpin seems a whole lot simpler.

“L-laced panties...”

Do you see that? Her face is red! That should be a normal female high school student’s reaction to this.

“Laced panties~♪ Laced panties~♪”

This miserable female high-schooler began singing instead. You’re actually a grade-schooler, aren’t you?

“Stop singing things like that...you’re this happy after receiving laced panties?”

“Yep, I’m fine as long as it’s a gift! Don’t you like getting panties as a gift?”

“Nope.”

I would be scared to death if I were to open my locker one day to find a pair of trunks sitting there.

“So what kind of panties does Amacchi like on a girl?”

“O-Ouka, don’t ask questions like that!”

Yawakaze’s reaction was somewhat violent.

I guess I can’t blame her, Yuuouji’s question was pretty abrupt after all. Yuuouji then continued in a satisfied manner as she saw my questioning glance:

“Hmm, immunity, Amacchi. I’m only doing this to strengthen Konacchi’s immunity towards such matters, so if we can’t laugh things like these off, how do you think her parents would feel?”

“I-I see, Ouka was doing this for me...I understand, I’ll try harder.”

Um, Yawakaze-san, I’m afraid you got tricked. This is all a trap set by a bad person to have a look at your panties...and that bad person happens to be me.

Speaking of which, it appears I have to answer the question. Although the circumstances aren’t really allowing me to be honest, I guess I should just answer it to be safe.

“Just normal white -”

“You lie!”

Yuuouji suddenly cried out like a certain cleaver-wielding female character.

“Whoa, w-what are you doing!”

Yuuouji’s sadistic expression returned, and she said to me:

“Hmm, that won’t do, Amacchi. In order to strengthen Konacchi’s immunity, you’ve gotta be honest.”

This woman...I haven’t even finished my sentence and you could tell I was lying?

Oh right, she said yesterday that she could verify the truthfulness of my words through my eyes and my expressions. So that was true after all.

“Cough cough...so I’ll have to do this due to popular demand then. For guys...we don’t have any other choices except garters, right?”

“Whoa~ sexy, we’ve got a good one!”

“Gar...ter?”

I guessed that Yuuouji would be causing a ruckus like a kid, while Yawakaze didn’t seem to have heard of that word before. The differences between the two were now especially evident.

“Um, aren’t we going off topic - huh?”

I suddenly felt a change in atmosphere.

“Did you hear that, he said something about a garter?” “Yep, Amakusa-san’s a pervert after all.” “Yuuouji-san too, isn’t she embarrassed at all?” “Are all of those on the Reject Five like this?” “They were mentioning underwear and panties the entire time.” “Konacchi, you shouldn’t be talking those people, alright?”

Murmurs began drifting throughout the class.

W-when did we attract that much attention? Yuuouji’s entrance into the class was rather exaggerated, but that shouldn’t have warranted attention to our conversation itself - also, why does liking garters make me a pervert?

All these painfully penetrating gazes...I may have experienced them one took many times over in my class, but I never thought that I would be experiencing them yet again halfway across the school.

“Oi, you’ve got it all wrong -”

「Choose: ① “Ladies, what are you all looking at? Why don’t you all just put on garters and use your bodies to service me?”

② Wear a garter yourself and demonstrate to them how perfect of a combination garters and M-shaped spread legs are.」

I chose the first choice, instantly attracting the killing intent of all the girls in Class 15.

“Goodbye Amacchi, see you tomorrow!”

After class, Yuuouji promptly told me that she would be taking Yawakaze over to her place to hang out and ran off to Class 15 yet again. I was planning to follow, but I immediately dismissed that thought as I remembered what had happened there earlier.

Today...I guess I won’t ever be able to enter Class 15 ever again after today.

“Sigh...”

I sighed and surveyed my surroundings.

The Absolute Choices had been messing with my life since last year.

They were all horrible choices with absolutely no rules pertaining to them nor any actual relation to my life itself, but if I had to think of one it would probably be that they don’t help me at all. Within dating simulators, as long as you pick the right choices, all sorts of pretty female characters would begin living increasingly close and happy lives with you.

But these choices that insist on popping out from my mind time and again are essentially destroying my love life.

Also I don’t know why making girls laugh and peeking at panties seem to be conditions for removing this curse.

“Just tell me...what the hell do you want?”

I looked up and yelled at the slowly reddening sky. My query that was never intended for any human ears did not, of course, receive any form of reply.

Part 7[edit]

“Yawakaze...you...”

When I reached our predetermined destination, I froze upon seeing Yawakaze who was the first to arrive.

“Um...Amakusa-san, do I look weird like this?”

I shook my head hurriedly. It wasn’t weird at all, in fact her current attire was a complete departure from her usual good-girl image. It was completely amazing. Although on this very day I guess I would have to rule her out of the competition. Why...why would you wear hot pants!?

The skin Yawakaze was showing today was nothing like anything she had ever done before, but this just won’t do. No matter how attractive her pearly white skin may be, no matter how illegal her soft silky thighs may be, as long as it eliminates any chances of her panties being seen, there’s just no use.

“Yahoo -!”

Just as I was plunging into the depths of despair, I heard Yuuouji’s carefree cry from behind me. I turned only to see her wearing an ultra-miniskirt that left me at a dilemma as to where I should divert my eyes.

“Hmm? Konacchi, what’s with the get-up?”

“B-because...”

As Yuuouji ran over, Yawakaze’s face became increasingly red.

“This own’t do, why didn’t you wear the semi-transparent skirt I lent you yesterday?”

“Who the hell would wear that out!?”

“Sob, Ouka, I really don’t dare to wear that thing out. Also after I saw that, I felt too shy to even wear something like a normal skirt, but, since I agreed earlier that I have to at least show my feet, I mustered my courage to borrow this from my sister...is it still no good?”

Oh my god, what a beautiful reaction, and factoring in her embarrassed gaze, her destructive ability is almost off the charts. After Yuuouji heard that -

“Y-you’re a natural guy killer. Konacchi...you’re scary!”

She rolled her eyes and began acting dumb.

“Oi, now what do we do, we’re bumping into obstacles right off the bat.”

I whispered softly in Yuuouji’s ear. Don’t even talk about her skirt hiking up by accident, now I won’t even be able to execute my emergency plan of lifting up her skirt manually.

“No hurry, it was exactly because something like this may happen that I picked this place, so just relax.”

Yuuouji somehow managed to remain confident.

“Alright, let’s go, let’s go!”

She promptly brushed me aside and dragged Yawakaze off into the distance with a slight hopping gait...this may be it for me.

“Ta-da~ here we are!”

Yuuouji stopped right outside some branded clothing store. I may not be interested in fashion at all, but I have seen this brand around quite a lot. I think this place is famous for having everything from the most prestigious types of formal clothing down to the most casual of attire, all within the same store. As I stepped in, I could tell that wasn’t a bluff. The store itself was gigantic with enormous amounts and types of clothings being displayed on shelves and racks, yet somehow managing not to give off a sense of disorderliness.

“Konacchi, over here.”

“Hmm? What is it, Ouka?”

“I’m sorry, but Amacchi, could you just wait there for a while~”

“Ah? Oh, OK.”

Before I got the chance to reply, Yuuouji had already dragged Yawakaze off.

I quietly stayed in the store for about ten minutes more -

“Amacchi, sorry to keep you waiting!”

“Whoa...”

I couldn’t help but utter a small cry of awe as I saw Yawakaze. What I saw before me was Yawakaze wearing a miniskirt of a length rivaling even that of Yuuouji’s.

“Sob...Ouka, this is awfully embarrassing.”

Yawakaze said embarrassedly. If one were to compare the current length of her skirt to her usual school uniform, it’s like she’s half naked.

“Whaddaya think Amacchi, isn’t it great?”

“Um, anyone who doesn’t agree with that definitely isn’t a man.”

I replied frankly.

“Oh...thanks.”

Yawakaze still seemed rather shy, but I guess she couldn’t turn down the compliment.

“Right, let’s buy it!”

“W-wait a second. Ouka, didn’t you say we’re just going to try this on? This is kinda pretty, but I don’t have that much money.”

I’m not that clear about clothing prices, but I could tell that with regards to the quality of the material, it probably wasn’t cheap. At least, I don’t think it’s something any normal high school student could just walk in and buy.

“Relax, leave it to me.”

Yuuouji said it as if it wasn’t a big deal, but then I remembered her family isn’t exactly liberal with their expenses either, considering she only gets about five thousand yen as allowance per month at most.

Also, Yuuouji isn’t the type of person who would randomly buy clothes for her friends just because she’s from a rich family.

“This place is actually a branch of UOG, but I’m not exactly sure of the details.”

Are you kidding me...UOG really has everything.

“The owner of this place wants to get a few models to try on their new products, then walk around this entire mall as some sort of live advertisement...but up until now there have been no applicants which is, of course, a problem to him...Konacchi, how about you consider it a favor to both me and the manager and wear this around for a while?”

I see, this tactic is incredibly cunning. This story may be for the most part fake, but her choice of words would leave Yawakaze no room for refusal.

“Oh...since it’s like that...then...I’ll help out.”

As expected, Yawakaze nodded shyly.

“OK! Thank you!”

Yuuouji cheered and whispered to me once again.

“Haha, now we just need to take her out in this and everything will be fine.”

“Yuuouji...nice one.”

I never thought that she would perform this well. It’s a foregone conclusion that Yawakaze will definitely trip and fall somewhere. I did say yesterday that I can’t rely on random chance, but today I have a strong tool to help me out. I looked at Yawakaze’s feet.

Yes, I’m referring to her high heels. Yawakaze trips and falls over with a stunning tendency normally anyway, so considering that she’s wearing a pair of shoes that will only make her more unstable, her tripping over now is pretty much a guarantee.

“Now, we just have to wait.”

“Yep/”

Yuuouji and I were like those evil magistrates and their equally nefarious underlings you see in period dramas, with even the corners of our mouths lifted in a similar snarl. But -

“Ah~ this is great~”

I’ll put it simply, she didn’t trip at all.

Yawakaze didn’t fall over a single time, no matter how closely packed the crowd was, no matter how hard it was for her to walk, she somehow could remain completely stable as if through some divine help. She seemed to have noticed that as well, as she was expressing her joy and suddenly being rid of this problem...this miracle is just trying to screw me over, isn’t it?

Time trickled past us in this desperate situation, and before we knew it it was six in the evening. Considering that the sun isn’t up for all that long during this period it would be normal to think about going home by now.

The one fortune among our misfortunes was - Yawakaze’s stomach began grumbling - although she soon denied it furiously with her face completely red. So, we went over to a food court to look for something to eat.

After finding a seat on one of the publicly allocated benches, I sat down to rest my legs for a while.

“Alright, I’ll get some food and come back.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Yuuouji didn’t seem tired at all, and she dashed off with her usual grade-schooler spirit. At this time on a Saturday, every single part of the city would be congested by people with their families in tow, so I don’t think she’ll be back any time soon.

Right, now what should I do...since we’ve tried so many methods but to no avail, I guess we’ll have to try a different approach.

The problem is, we haven’t actually thought of the different approach, or else I would have done it long ago.

I became increasingly anxious. What should I do...what should I do?

”Snore~”

A small, cute exhale of air jerked me back to reality.

Not a minute after Yuuouji had left, Yawakaze was already collapsed on the table in a deep sleep, with her purse still hanging on her shoulder. She was a pretty weak-looking girl in the first place, so I guess this isn’t all that surprising after being dragged around town for so long.

“Mm...”

Yawakaze’s body twisted slightly, changing her position.

“Oh?”

This change hiked up the frills of her skirt, causing nearly her entire thigh to leak out of it.

T- this is...just a little more and I’ll be able to get what I came for.

Just then -

「Choose: ① Pull it open and have a look.

② Don’t do anything.」

...Of course, it just had to pick a time like this.

However, if you look at it from another angle, this might be a chance. If I have to do it the hard way later, if I have to take that first step which I have the chance to do so now, I guess there isn’t a better opportunity.

Do I go?

I hesitantly began inching my arm towards Yawakaze’s lower body.

Then I stopped once again right before actually touching it.

Is this really alright?

No no no no, what am I still thinking about? If I don’t finish these missions I’ll be plagued by these choices for the rest of my life, I need to get this into my thick skull!

But they want me to lift up her skirt, it’s just...wrong.

Well, we did get Yawakaze to put on a miniskirt and high heels to increase her chances of falling over and tripping, which is pretty much the same thing as directly lifting up her skirt, if you think about it that way.

Fine, I just wanted to create a situation where we could「Coincidentally」get a glimpse of her panties and hopefully create less guilt on my part.

As if to prolong my suffering by not hurrying me, the tendrils of pain that would usually be all over my head right now did not appear, instead what surfaced there was all sorts of thoughts and ideas, hesitations and coerces that made me doubt myself, blocking me from reaching a definite decision.

My pondering caused my perception of time to become blurred, so I think I spent quite a few minutes thinking. As the pain finally began assaulting me, I reached my conclusion.

“...I give up.”

I chose choice number 2 in the end. There’s not a definitive reason why I chose it, but you could say I just didn’t feel like it.

Even if I were to lift her skirt, I want to do it in a more honorable manner, then get scolded by her or something, because lifting her skirt while she’s sleeping just seems to low for my tastes.

The other reason was that I just wanted to protest against the Absolute Choices, I guess. Them appearing at this time seemed to be telling me “Oi, you can blame me for this, just lift it already”, which I’m not exactly happy with.

As I thought of the person sending down these choices giggling with glee as I picked choice number 1 in accordance to his wishes, it just made me sick. Thus, I silently retracted my outstretched arm.

“Hmm...huh? Amakusa-san? Hmm? Did I fall asleep?”

Yawakaze suddenly woke up as if on cue.

“Yeah, but just for a few minutes.”

“I-I’m sorry...ah, so...d-did you happen to see me sleeping?”

Well, at such a close distance I can’t say I didn’t. Just as I was nodding -

“Ah!”

A strange noise emitted from her mouth.

“I-I let a guy see me in such an embarrassing manner...”

As I saw Yawakaze’s face instantly exploding in virulent shades of red, the word ‘regret’ instantly crossed my mind.

You want me to lift up her skirt? Sorry, I can’t do it. If she’s this embarrassed just after having a guy looking at her sleeping posture, me looking at her panties would probably cause some sort of permanent trauma.

Maybe nothing would happen if I had looked at her panties while she was still sleeping. Everything that passed through my mind earlier was just useless self-consolation, i just threw away a chance that I might not get for the rest of my days...

“Stop, thief!”

A huge shriek suddenly rocked the food court, once again calling me to my senses.

I looked over at the direction of the sound, only to see a burly man wearing a dirty T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans making a mad dash away. Just my luck, he was heading in the direction of our seat...

“Give it here!”

The robber immediately spotted the purse on Yawakaze’s shoulder, or maybe he spotted her simply because of all the branded products she was wearing.

Even after grabbing someone else’s wallet, this greedy thief still didn’t happen to have had enough.

“Huh? Huh?”

This sudden drastic change in situation caused Yawakaze to freeze completely, and she just sat there motionlessly.

“Watch out!”

Before I could think, my body was already between that of the robber’s and Yawakaze’s.

I -

“Ugh!”

The robber slammed me aside viciously, causing me to fall hard on my back.

“Amakusa-san!”

“Cheh...give it to me now!”

My intrusion caused the robber to hesitate slightly, however his attention once again returned to Yawakaze.

“Yawakaze, let go of the - cough cough!”

I think I hit my windpipe or something during my fall, causing me to be unable to speak nor stand. Dammit, this is bad!

“Amacchi! Nice block!”

I heard a voice that instantly reminded me of a hero barging in at the last moment.

“HAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Yuuouji ran over like a sprinter, and leaped - her flying kick that she had apparently put all her weight behind struck the robber directly in the abdomen.

“Ah!”

He collapsed, and even skittered backwards for quite a distance. Coming to think of it, it was pretty comical. After that he was dragged away by some guards/

Yuuouji’s physical ability is incredibly amazing. Considering that she’s one of the more petite ones among the girls in my school, one can only wonder where she gets all that strength from.

“Phew, luckily I made it. Konacchi, you’re not hurt, aren’t you?”

Even in this situation, Yuuouji’s tone was calm, and her breathing had no hints of panic in it.

“Ah...yeah, because someone protected me. Amakusa-san, are you alright?”

Yawakaze ran over to me and crouched down, and she looked at me with a gaze containing gratitude and pity.

“Wow, you did great, Amacchi.”

“Pfft, it was nothing, I was just knocked away...”

As I lifted my head up slightly, I froze.

The scenery underneath Yuuouji’s skirt was displayed right before me in all its splendour.

Yawakaze was crouching by my feet, while Yuuouji was standing near my head in a completely defenseless fashion. Even though their skirts were equally short, I could only see that of the latter.

I could, in fact, see the whole thing.

The pure white color before my eyes had a mature texture that was one part sexy and nine parts elegant, somewhat in contrast with Yuuouji’s usual personality. I was expecting it to have, like, animal patterns or something.

But that’s beside the point.

This...why would you wear a garter?

As though to protect the white pair of panties beneath her skirt was a jet-black garter.

I had my suspicions towards that black strip on her leg since earlier, but she wasn’t wearing a pantyhose underneath it, just a normal pair of kneesocks. How strange.

She probably heard what I said yesterday and decided to have a go at it for a whim. Such a childlike person, wearing such a mature garter...children and garters...they seem to go well with each other.

(Ah!)

Whoa whoa whoa what am I thinking, pervert! Stop looking already! I hurriedly averted my eyes as I realized that.

Luckily Yuuouji’s attention was on Yawakaze, so she didn’t seem to notice my tour of the areas beneath her skirt.

There’s also a possibility that I merely thought I was looking for a long time when in reality it was only an instant.

I had struggled with myself regarding whether or not to lift up Yawakaze’s skirt for so long earlier, but for some reason in this accidental situation I’m not feeling any guilt.

In fact, this might even be considered a gift for those who love garters.

If it was Yawakaze’s, my life would be complete -

The cellphone in my pocket suddenly began ringing.

“Hmm?”

The sender was「God」, and the message was titled「Mission complete」.

What? I opened up the message while standing up with question marks peppering the inside of my mind.

「Congratulations on completing the mission, please wait patiently for the next task.」

The words were pretty much the same as the time I completed Yukihira’s mission. W-what exactly happened? I should have seen Yuuouji’s panties and not Yawakaze’s...

I looked at the mission briefing sent two days before, yep, the target is Yawakaze.

My phone began vibrating once again. The sender was「God」, and the message was titled「Just a brief explanation.」

「Good evening, God here. I’m sure you’re kinda confused as to how you managed to complete it.」

I guess I should say that God is incredibly powerful for being able to read my thoughts? Speaking of which, who exactly is this? It doesn’t seem like the flippant one from last time, and the previous God should be still on maternity leave, unless she’s the one giving me my missions?

「I’ll give ya a piece of good news. Now, I’m going to explain what happened...thank me.」

Pfft...annoying.

Let’s just ignore this for now, but every single time when I scroll to the bottom of the message new lines begin to appear. How the hell does that work?

「Actually, the pair of panties Yuuouji Ouka is wearing right now belongs to Yawakaze Konagi.」

...What?

「The captain of the Yawakaze Guard, Todou Sakura, broke a huge rule.」

Wait, what? This conversation seems to be heading towards stranger territories, he isn’t sending me the wrong message right? Also, to think that Todou-senpai has such a fabulous name...

「He’s a deserter. Sakura-chan ignored the other members of the Guard and began sending Yawakaze Konagi gifts.」

To think that the captain himself would break the rules, this really is unforgivable. Also, why are you addressing him as「Sakura-chan」...

「This may be unfair towards the other members of the Guard, but in a passing admirer’s position, there’s nothing wrong with his behavior.」

So that hairpin from yesterday was sent by him?

「In fact, he’s not satisfied with just sending presents. He attaches a self-written poem to every single one as well.」

Romantic poems, huh...feels kinda corny.

「Just look at it, romantic poems! ...Pfft, who still writes those things in this day and age?」

Is the sender still the same person? Look, he even wrote「romantic poems (www)」. (TL note: Japanese use the letter ‘w’ kinda like how we use ‘lol’, because笑, the Kanji for smiling or laughter begins with the letter ‘w’.)

That’s annoying! I mean writing romantic poems is kinda embarrassing but you can stop now!

「After which Yuuouji Ouka found out about it, and she began blackmailing the poor Sakura-chan.」

So that’s what she was whispering in his ear yesterday.

Something as embarrassing as writing romantic poems can only be done in an anonymous position I guess. Rather than letting Yawakaze herself or other members of the Guard find out, I guess running around the track naked would be lesser of a punishment.

「On that day, Sakura-chan had even prepared another special gift - a pair of panties. He couldn’t resist his manic love towards Yawakaze Konagi, and so he hoped that she would wear the pair of panties he sent her. Disgusting, isn’t it?」

Sending panties...huh? Why does it seem like we’re talking about Yuuouji’s secret admirers again?

「Yuuouji Ouka merely wanted Sakura-chan to agree not to get in your way, so when he was about to go according to his plan and send in the panties, he made a huge mistake - he put it in the wrong bag.」

I see...from yesterday the two girls went home together, so I guess that’s where he went wrong.

「Yuuouji Ouka noticed the pair of panties when she reached home. A normal person would probably feel uncomfortable and throw it away or something if they were to find a packaged pair of panties in their bag, but the next day - which means today - she decided to wear it out instead.」

Next time, don’t wear strange clothings, will you?

「Yuuouji Ouka has two main reasons for believing those panties actually belonged to her. Firstly, her admirers have sent her panties before.」

I see, so Todou-senpai had unwittingly done something Yuuouji’s admirers had previously done before.

「Secondly, there was no romantic poem attached this time, unlike Sakura-chan’s other gifts to Yawakaze Konagi. Maybe he fed it to the rubbish bin because he doesn’t have enough balls to send both a pair of panties and a romantic poem.」

Todou-senpai...you wrote it anyway.

「Actually, we managed to regather the contents of the poem itself.」

How did you do that?

「Wind - It’s you Benevolently embracing all the creatures of the earth Angelic wind

Silk - The panties Gently embracing the secrets of the wind Seductive silk

The Knight - It’s me Holding onto the wind and the silk with all my love Brave Knight」

(TL note: This poem looks weird, I know, but that’s actually how it’s phrased.)

OUT OUT OUT OUT! I furiously mashed the「Scroll down」button, trying as hard as I could to avoid the continuously appearing lines of text. If I were to continue reading, Todou-senpai’s reputation may be ruined.

「Right right, after enjoying Sakura-chan’s (www) poetic skills, I think we can get into the main topic.」

This bastard is really too much...although I guess I won’t ever be able to look at Todou-senpai in the same way ever again.

「That panties was intended for Yawakaze Konagi, so ignoring any hiccups that might have happened during the delivery, and no matter whoever’s wearing it, it’s considered as Yawakaze Konagi’s property.」

Ignoring the finders-keepers rule huh. Never mind that, but why would this be considered a mission complete?

「Your mission was to ‘Look at Yawakaze Konagi’s panties when being worn’, and not to ‘Look at the panties Yawakaze Konagi is wearing.’」

...It can’t be.

「Right, since I’ve got this far, I’m sure you understand now right? God’s explanation is complete, bye bisexual~」

The message ends there.

In other words, 「Yawakaze Konagi’s panties」only refer to the panties she「Owns」.

So as long as it’s her panties, even if Yuuouji Ouka were to wear it, it would still be fine.

Um, as long as the mission is completed, I suppose I don’t have a problem, but isn’t this just screwing me with wordplay?

Conversely, I may have completed this mission by pure accident, but there may also be a case in the future where I think I’ve completed the mission but in actuality I have not due to some catch in the phrasing that I may not have noticed. I have to be on my guard.

“Amakusa-san, you’ve been staring at your phone all this time, is something wrong?”

Yawakaze’s voice pulled me out of the realm of my thoughts.

“Ah, I’m sorry...whoa!”

Suddenly, a gust of wind brushed past me without warning.

The wind itself was strong and powerful, it could almost be a whirlwind, and what appeared before me was -

“Ah...whaaaaaa!”

Hello, pantsu-san.

Exactly the same. The panties I saw underneath Yawakaze’s lifted skirt was exactly the same as Yuuouji had drawn yesterday.

Only the color was different. Yesterday’s report said it was white, but the one I was staring at was colored a deep purple that threatened to completely reverse my impressions of Yawakaze.

“Ah, aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...”

Yawakaze received a huge shock at this unexpected reveal.

“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....”

Oh crap, she’s going to yell, no, she definitely will yell. With so many people around -

“YAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

The scream came from a completely unexpected direction.

“Yuu...ouji?”

“Ouka...?”

That piercing shriek came from none other than Yuuouji Ouka herself.

Her face was incredibly red, and she was trembling all over. This reaction...what happened?

Yuuouji did have an accident earlier as well, but earlier...she didn’t notice.

“- embarrassing.”

Yuuouji was mumbling to herself, so I couldn’t exactly hear her.

“What is it, Yuuouji? You seem strange, are you alright?”

I stepped slightly closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

“!!!”

She jumped back instead, and her face that was initially red enough somehow got even redder, as if transcending the limits of humanity itself.

Could it be...she’s embarrassed?

“Never thought...embarrassing.”

She completely ignored me and just stood there for a while - then charged off like a bolt of released lightning.

“I never thought...having my panties seen by other people would be this embarrassing-AAAAAAA!”

She began howling manically and disappeared in the crowds.

“...” “...”

Yawakaze and I could only look at each other while at a loss for words.

Yawakaze didn’t seem embarrassed at all even after her...accident. After seeing something like that, I guess it’s kinda hard to stay embarrassed. A while later, Yawakaze finally said something.

“...Now what?”

“...I think we should head home.”

“...I guess so.”

Mission:「Get a glance of what Yawakaze Konagi’s panties look like when being worn」- Completed.


Translator's Notes and References[edit]


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