Phenomeno:Raven Notes: Part One

==『Raven Notes』 -- 「The Raven's Memorandum」 or 「The story that gets devoured」== 「Part One」

The writing that begins here is, to put it simply, a memorandum.

I mean, don't you feel better when you write down things that you don't get? In short, it is a memo, or what is commonly referred to as a memorandum, written down to organize things that are not clear to me no matter how much I think about them.

So, if you're reading this text now because you felt suspicion over my death, it is probably futile. Even if you keep reading, you won't get any logical explanation for my "death". In that sense, this writing may have the connotation of a "will," but obviously as I currently write this, I am not dead. I have no intention to die whatsoever -- I'm living so blissfully that I was window-shopping for cute summer clothes just now, and licking my lips at a baked custard in Ginza's Bischero, and I can't suppress my excitement over the offline meeting tonight. Then why am I writing this, you might ask? I have no way to describe it other than calling it sixth sense. I have no intention of dying at all, but I strongly feel the presence of death close at hand – that’s the only way I can explain it.

"Ahh, I see, Karasu-san -- you're a fortune-teller. Did you see your own death?"

Some people may ask me that, but that's not quite right. Generally, fortune-telling is a combination of cold reading, which is "a series of bluffs," and hot reading, which is "the fruit of preliminary research." It's an occult style therapy combining those two with a little bit of conversational skills and presentation. And you know, forget my death, I can't even see if or when I'd marry -- well, yeah, about that. That marriage thing. That's the start of this memorandum.

You know, I feel like there is a limit to how long I can continue to sell myself as a young, beautiful lady. I mean, I do want to marry. Of course, I'm no longer naive to think that some handsome guy on a white horse will suddenly show up one day, but I still long for a chance encounter, to the extent that sometimes I want to shout, "God, when are you preparing my happiness?” And -- it's embarrassing to admit, but a short while ago, I decided to sign up for one of those, what you would call, dating sites. Well, they did say that the first month was free, so I figured I'd give it a try. But then after I typed in my info during sign-up, and looked at the section where I was supposed to input my desired preferences for a partner, my fingers froze. Desired height? Desired education? Desired income? Huh? What? That sort of stuff wasn’t what I wanted! Do you really think you can win me over with your salad-flavored appeals? Aren't there more, you know, values relevant to your core as a person? Like trying to become the king of pirates, or trying to master hamon, or preparing to move to Mars. And of course, that wouldn’t just be talk, but the type of guy who has a twinkle in his eyes as he says that and seems to be working for it pragmatically. I don't get excited unless you're someone like that! I don't think it'd be fun being with you otherwise! So, I tore out my hair and got frustrated. I got discouraged to even look for a partner. My whole world had already turned completely dark –

But, that happened.

【Yo, hello! I'm the handsome guy you were looking for!】

「..........」

【My dream is world domination. My favorite delicacy is the despair of humans. Sometimes people shout, "You devil!" at me though, hahahah.】

「..........」

【Huh? Hello, hello? Is this showing up properly?】

Of course, this was not a vocal conversation, but rather a conversation through text chat – that’s how I remember it, but as I tediously narrated at the start, this is from memory, just a memo, a memorandum. Just a list of my subjective memories. In other words, as I fell prostrate despairing over dating sites, I had begun chatting with someone on the other side of the Internet who called themselves a devil.

【Huhhhh, you're Mr. Devil? Are you actually handsome?】

I replied dubiously by typing into my keyboard, and in reply:

【Of course, of course! When I was a kid, I was praised like a jewel, and in paradise, I was celebrated as a being that gives people true freedom and lifts them up to the realm of light.】

【Then might you be the rumored Prince of Hell, he who was originally "bathed in light"?】

【No no no-, well, as far as I can tell you, right, in terms of appearance, imagine a white face, blond hair, and golden wings, and that’s exactly it!】

【Not a bald old man trying to declare himself beautiful?】

【Ow ow ow ow-- As if!】

...I felt like I was destined to be connected to pain. This one felt more like a Mephistopheles than a Lucifer, but I had free time until work. It'd been a while since I chatted with someone, so I continued the conversation, figuring that if he turned out to be really annoying, I could just shut him off in the middle of the conversation.

【So, what business does Mr. Devil have with me?】

【Well, I guess you could say that I came to take back something that was forgotten. You forgot to give me something that you were supposed to give me before and disappeared. I had a hard time finding you!】

【Hmm, so that means that I've met Mr. Old Man before?】

【I'm not an old man! I'm quite handsome, thank you! Please drop that image of a bald man from your head!】

【You know, I'd like to at least have an image of Lord Lucifer from The Very Rich Hours of the Duke of Berry, but my computer only has images collected from Kodansha's published Demon book collection.】

【Wa... wait, isn’t he's bald in that?!】

【You know it well... So -- what was it? Did I meet you somewhere? What was I meant to give you, my soul? When did I make a contract with you?】

【Ahh, that's the thing, it’s so troublesome. Where in the world did this theory of the devil wanting souls come from? It makes me sad. I've never wanted such a thing.】

As I continued chatting, I examined the URL of the site I was connected to. It was a site I'd never heard of. And from my browsing history, it seemed I'd jumped there from the dating site -- did I click on some weird banner?

【Well then, I'll give you a hint.】

Suddenly, the old devil man spoke conceitedly.

【It was when you were still a blossoming high school girl.】

【Eh?】

【Wasn't there a bizarre rumor that spread around class? About the "Man dressed in blue".】

--Ahh, I vaguely remember. It was something like, if you ended up answering "three questions" posed by a man dressed completely in blue, you would soon die or something like that. As I recall, that kind of story was making the rounds in class.

【Yes, yes that one. I'm the "Man dressed in blue!"】

..........

【......Hello?】

【Yes, yes.】

【You remember, don't you? And if I remember correctly, I believe I asked you "three questions" too, but you managed to get away quite cunningly! It vexed me so much you see-- that I've been looking for you this whole time!】

【Ahh, I'm starting to vaguely remember that too.】

The scene from that day vaguely reawakened in my brain. It came with a bitter emotion, but I couldn't remember why that was. Or... wait? If it was just as he said, then...

【Did you -- have something to do with Haruka-chan's death?】

The man ceased responding after I wrote my message.

Suddenly, something bitter began to swell up from the bottom of my stomach. It was unpleasant, as if a forgotten nightmare from long ago had rapidly begun to infest the real world. And yet despite that -- as if I were tearing away the scab of a wound that was still healing, as if guided by an unseen hand, I ended up asking the question.

【And my mother, and my boyfriend at the time, their deaths too?】

【You say such scandalous things.】

--The old man eventually began to write after some time.

【All I did was ask questions, so I have no reason to be blamed by anyone for it. If you don't want to answer, you don't have to answer, after all.】

【That was part of the horror story about the "Man dressed in blue," wasn't it? But -- what truly made that ghost story terrifying was the words that came afterwards. "You shouldn't have to answer, but the moment you are asked, everyone is forced to answer."】

【Pretty much. That's true, but you got away. I could never forget that, and I couldn't allow it, so that's what I'm here today to talk to you about. Because you see, if that method were to end up spreading, it would kind of affect my raison d'etre.】

The man wrote that message, but -- strange. I couldn't remember, at all.

Indeed, I vaguely remembered the urban legend or ghost stories about the "Man dressed in blue" making the rounds during high school. But until I was told just now, I didn’t remember the connection between that and someone else's death -- that is, the deaths of Haruka-chan, my mother, and my boyfriend. Why? How did the three of them die? Why do I not remember that correctly? Even though something grave happened, it was as if the map of that memory was shredded, as if it had been bitten and chewed off by something.

As I glared at the laptop monitor, I bit my nails and desperately tried to remember.

That’s right... I did meet the "Man dressed in blue". I also felt like I'd been asked "three questions." And when I found out what the questions were, it was as if I was on the verge of despair – but, the moment I thought back that far, an awful chill swept over me that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end.

This was bad. I felt like I shouldn't be remembering any further, so I used the keyboard to try and close the chat -- but it wouldn't let me log out. I tried closing the browser, but it wouldn't close no matter what.

【It's futile. I've already reached you.】

Those dancing letters appeared once more.

【Whether you close this computer, or destroy it, the next time you connect to the internet, I can appear at your side once more. Think of it as having bookmarked you. So, how did you escape from me? What did you do back then? Will you remember that for me?】

【But hey, I can't remember it so there's no helping it.】

【Can't remember, can't remember! That's exactly it, humans have that function, and that's why I hate you all. You live relying on an unreliable system called memories, yet you forget everything you don't fancy. Or you let your ego be established by overwriting it with incorrect information. That's a problem for me. You know, there are things like bugs, right? It means that God who is said to have made this world is not as omnipotent as he is claimed to be. There are always unintended consequences of unintended actions. That's what you once did, and I must eradicate it. If that were to spread, then this world would be filled with chaos--】

Thereupon, I closed the laptop itself with a snap.

I stood up without pause, went to the kitchen, took out a Menthol cigarette, and lit it. I turned on the ventilation fan, smoked one slowly for the time being, and returned to my desk after a pause. Then I opened my laptop once again, and--

【How rude, how rude! I was still talking, and you go and do that all of a sudden!】

He was still there, so I closed it again with a snap.

It seemed like we were still connected after all. I didn't know whether he really was a devil, or a new type of computer virus, but either way, my laptop had definitely been taken hostage.

"God. My customer data and everything is in this laptop, too."

When was the last time I backed up the data? Ahh, it was about half a year ago -- or even worse, maybe a year ago. I folded my arms. They do say your irresponsible attitude can come back to haunt you at times like these. In any case, I still couldn't throw away my laptop, and having him appear every time I connected to the internet was problematic. I sat back in my chair and opened my computer, reminding myself that it was important to take a firm line with stalkers.

【So, what do I need to do?】

【You just need to remember, what you forgot to give me. And how you were able to escape from me back then, the method.】

【But, I’ll die when I remember it, right? Isn't that ending too sad for me after having gone through all that trouble to remember it?】

【Sad? I'm the one who's sad! How much effort do you think it took to find you?!】

Ahh, what a pain, or so I thought, but I had no real choice except to remember as this guy said. For better or for worse, I could talk to the embodiment of this computer glitch, and if I talked to him and convinced him to leave, it would be fixed somehow. An exorcist I was acquainted with said something like that. They said that exorcism was, in essence, persuasion. Besides, I had escaped from him once before, so there was no reason why I couldn't do it a second time -- at least, by logic.

And so, I crossed my legs in front of the laptop, and closed my eyes to remember what happened back then.

○

Haruka-chan – as I recall, her real name was Haruka Toonoki.

Haruka-chan was at any rate, a good girl. The kind of kid who’s in every classroom, whose presence is enough to light up the whole class, popular with both the guys and the girls. She had bright, fluffy hair, and when she laughed, a cute dimple appeared – ahh, she was the type that warmed your heart, the type who must have been brought up with tons of love since birth.

But – in my mind, the last image of Haruka-chan was that without a head.

One day, she jumped off the school roof and her head split open from the neck up. She died with a part of her bright hair still stuck to her head, and a scattering of reddish-black pieces of flesh which I could no longer distinguish. It was brushed off as a suicide, but -- if I remember correctly, the rumor about the “Man dressed in blue” began to circulate in class a while after Haruka-chan passed away.

From what I heard, Haruka-chan had been troubled by the “Man dressed in blue” that kept showing up in her dreams shortly before her death. It was rumored that the man dressed in blue had asked her "three questions" in her dream, and that Haruka was taken to the other world because she had answered them.

Well, it was a common urban legend, a ghost story that you often heard from high school students in the middle of puberty. At the time I was the type of kid who had a slanted view of the world, and if pushed to say, I didn't believe in it at all. Of course, I was heavily affected by Haruka-chan's death, but I probably smirked and laughed at my classmates, who cowered in fear of that rumor, saying that if answering the question would kill you, you simply didn't need to answer.

●

And, having remembered that far back -- I felt myself being covered by a terribly cold chill. My palms were dripping with sweat.

【Continue.】

I looked at the LCD screen of my computer and saw that short message. I clicked my tongue once, exhaled slowly, and continued remembering.

●

Around half a year after that--

Right, on that day, I caught sight of my mother downtown. It was an afternoon so hot just standing still was enough to make you sweat; I left school early and was in front of the train station – when I noticed my mother walking alone beyond the crowd of laughing, buzzing people. At the time, I had a bad relationship with my mother and was about to leave without calling out to her, but then I noticed. I noticed a person in a strange outfit walking right behind her.

He was dressed from head to toe in a bright blue suit. His shirt, necktie, shoes and hat were all blue, and the moment I thought, ‘Wow, he has a terrible fashion sense!’, I felt a chill crawl down my spine together with a feeling of surprise. Come to think of it, wouldn't that be what a "Man dressed in blue" would look like? The man gradually crept closer to my mother from behind, before eventually calling out to her in front of a burger shop. My mother was surprised when she turned around, but answered the question with a word or two of some sort. I couldn’t help but feel a terrible premonition, and started running. However, the crowd was even bigger than usual that day, making it hard to get close to them, and by the time I finally made it through, the man in the blue dress was gone. My mother simply stood dumbfounded as the rising heat haze warped the scene. I asked, "Who was that?", but she only gave me a vague smile.

Again. This person never told me the things that were important. I felt like a brat - well, I was a brat, really, but my spoiled thoughts swept over, and I felt like an idiot for worrying about her, so I just left her there and walked away.

Yes -- the thought that this would be my last conversation with her never crossed my mind.

My mother hung herself shortly afterwards.

While I was at high school, she tied a curtain to the handrails of the second-floor stairs, and because she was dangling from there, I was the first to discover her when I came home from school and opened the front door. There was no hint of foul play, and a simple suicide note was found, so it was brushed off as a simple suicide – We weren't a family that spoke much. It ended with neither my father nor my brother knowing what troubled mother. But I alone attended the funeral with a choking feeling in my heart.

--Was it really suicide? The man dressed in blue said something to mother. Was it the so-called "three questions"? And what were the questions? Did Haruka-chan and my mother die because they ended up answering the questions? What the hell was that "Man dressed in blue" anyway?

My thoughts continued to swirl round and round as I continued to think about it--

Around that time, I finally began communicating with the girls who were close to Haruka-chan.

"Hey, what did that “Man dressed in blue” ask Haruka-chan? What were the 'three questions'?"

I asked around, but no one wanted to talk about it, and I couldn't get them to tell me anything. It seemed that the story of the "Man dressed in blue" became a topic that no one in class wanted to touch. To speak about it meant that you would become involved in it. The pale expressions on the faces of my classmates who said that resembled that of the dead to me.

--Perhaps the "Man dressed in blue" was another form of the "Grim reaper".

With this idea in mind, I began to look through books on my own. I went to libraries here and there to research myths and legends related to "Grim reapers," and searched all over the web for "Man dressed in blue" and "Three questions/death." However, no such existed anywhere. There were similar ghost stories, but they all seemed like urban legends that were cobbled together using a slew of horror stories.

At a loss, I decided to create a thread on the forum of an occult site I frequented.

【Three questions -- The "Man dressed in blue" thread】

It was a shady-looking title, but I thought I might be able to obtain some information. However, it only got spammed by trolls, and I was unable to obtain any information whatsoever connected to the "Man dressed in blue".

Without knowing anything, another six months or so had passed--

I was merely living my life burdened with something depressing, when I got a boyfriend.

He was a university student I met at my part-time job, and he confessed to me, but I turned him down at first. I couldn't shake the feeling that nothing had been resolved, and I was also afraid that he might get involved. However, he remained kind, bright and energetic-- and in retrospect it was obvious, but our conversations never touched upon the word "death". Basically, he was the person who reminded me of a normal everyday life, something I had almost forgotten. I slowly opened up to him, and eventually began going out with him. Those were warm days that made me tear up for no reason, days I hadn't experienced in quite some time, but--

Yes, I shouldn't have dated him after all.

One weekday afternoon -- I saw a dream. If I remember correctly, it was right in the middle of midterms, when I was home early afternoon, but didn’t feel like studying, so I lay down in bed and ended up falling asleep. In my dream, the "man dressed in blue" I saw that day was slowly walking.

My heart thudded, and I stopped in my tracks in my dream.

I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. That was my honest feeling, I think. Having my life tossed about by such a vague existence was wrong. That’s what I thought. I would just wait for the man in blue clothing to pass by, and just as I'd crouched to hide behind something -- my heart froze and thudded once more.

The man in blue clothing was following someone. And I realized that it was my boyfriend.

-- W...wait, what? That person has nothing to do with this, right!?

I screamed a soundless scream, and before I realized, I had set off on a run trying to catch up with them. But my legs moved slowly, as if glued to the ground, and like that day, a wall of people stood in my way. In between the people, I saw that the “Man dressed in blue” had begun speaking to my boyfriend. My boyfriend stopped in his tracks and turned around, with the expected surprised expression.

--Don’t do it. Don't answer him.

I cried and screamed, and I finally realized. The boyfriend I began going out with to fill my loneliness and sorrow. The bittersweet relationship I began to build as if to escape into a warmth. But even so, I was saved from the point where the threads of my spirit had worn down slender and thin, and thanks to him, I realized that the world was still filled with color.

"If you've got a problem with me, say it to me!"

I screamed as I finally caught up with the two of them, and grabbed the sleeve of the man in blue clothing.

And – in that moment.

For the first time, I heard the voice of the man in blue clothing.

That low voice, one that I had heard somewhere, was asking my boyfriend.

"□□□□□□?" "□□□□□□?" "□□□□□□?"

--"Three questions."

--Those questions, that if answered, would result in death.

I was supposed to have finally heard them -- but my consciousness was forcibly ripped away, and I awoke from my dream.

I was on the bed in my room. The sun was still high in the sky, its light pouring into my room. I hadn't changed out of my school uniform, and was lying on my side there alone in tears. The emotional remnants from the dream still lingered, and my heart continued to race. Regardless of whether my consciousness was hazy or not, I immediately got up, and called my boyfriend's cellphone.

However, he didn't pick up. The ringtone sounded fifteen times, and I cut off the call when it switched to voice mail. No, he might still be in a lecture at university. He might have been on the move. I told myself that, but I recalled what happened with Haruka-chan, with my mother, and the freezing anxiety suffocated me. As if to escape, I faced my desk and pulled out the tarot cards from the drawer. It was a set I'd bought out of interest while I was researching the grim reaper. I had learned how to use them at that time.

I calmed my breathing, and placed the Tarot cards on the desk in Major Arcana form. As I thought hard about him, I asked the Tarot. However, his near future -- the card that appeared left me aghast. I shuffled the Tarot again, and this time placed them in Minor Arcana form. And, once more, I knocked away the result with my hand, and tried changing the spread to the Celtic Cross, the Hermit's Lamp, and the Carterhoff. But the result was always the same. I flew out of my room.

Tarot is merely for your peace of mind.

You can put any sort of meaning to the cards, and they exist as a substitute simply to comfort people’s anxious hearts. I tried to think that, but on the other hand, I couldn't help but calculate the odds of five straight Tarot readings turning up the same result. 22 cards in the Major Arcana, 56 in the Minor Arcana. In other words -- the first two alone meant a 1/1232 probability. Did -- did that not mean that something was set in stone?

My boyfriend's university was in the neighboring town, and as I awaited the bus, I looked for the first time in a long time at the occult site where I once posted the 【"Man dressed in blue" thread】 to escape my anxiety. Other than the meaningless spam, there were countless ads for adult sites posted, and--

Far down from them, I found it.

【I saw the blue-clothed man.】

I stopped breathing when I saw those six words.

When I looked at the time of the post, I saw that it had been made just five minutes prior.

●

【--Oh?】

When I remembered back that far, the old devil man wrote.

【The person posting on the forum knew about me?】

【I... I think so.】

【Interesting. Do continue.】

●

...Umm, you suddenly interrupted, I forgot where I was.

Oh right, I replied in the thread right away, thinking they might still be there.

【Where? Where did you see him? Who are you?】

While awaiting the bus, I refreshed the page over and over again, waiting for a reply. Eventually, the bus arrived, and I jumped in. When I sat down, I replied once more, unable to wait any longer.

【In my case, he appeared in my dream. I also saw him in reality. In both cases, he was speaking to someone I knew. And those people I knew died. What is that? Who is that man?】

I wrote that, and held my cellphone in my hands, as if praying to it.

It felt like an eternity passed before I got a response, but it probably hadn’t even been a minute. Eventually, that someone replied.

【Did they end up answering his questions?】

My heart thudded, and before I could think of how to answer, the next post appeared.

【Then I'm sorry, but I don't think that person can be saved.】

I wrote.

【Do you know the content of those questions?】

【I know.】

【Tell me. What are those questions? Is there a way of being saved after being asked?】

【There is, but I can't really recommend it.】

【It's still better than dying! Tell me!】

And then--

That inexplicable post appeared.

【Hey, are you scared?】

.........Huh?

【Are you scared, right now?】

【How does it feel to be scared?】

I felt horrified by those words posted in succession.

--What's with this guy?

Of course I'm scared! Are you stupid? Or, what? Was this person a denpa that scattered occult fantasies everywhere? I mean, I can't speak for others at all, but it was the kind of guy who posted on a message board like this in the middle of the day, so it might be some weirdo who was too obsessed with the occult -- and just as I was pondering whether or not it was worth continuing, those words appeared.

【I need to go now.】

--What? Go?

【I need to do my homework.】

.....H-homework? Then -- what? Was this an elementary school kid? Was I being teased by an elementary school kid? No -- no, at this point, it didn’t matter who they were, even if it was an elementary school kid. Even if it was an urban legend, if there was an answer, I wanted to know. Two people close to me who were involved with the "Man dressed in blue" were already dead. Regardless of whether the one replying was an elementary school student, this was the only rope dangling down to hell. In this dark world, where I couldn't even make out my own feet, it was the only rope that came down to me in this world of endless darkness. If they got offended and ended up disappearing into the internet, then it would truly be over--

--With that thought, I operated my cell phone as my fingers trembled, and responded.

【I'm scared.】 【I'm really scared.】

Holding back the tears that welled up, I continued to post on the message board.

【So, please. Tell me what's asked, and how to reply in order to be saved.】

Then--

The answer came from the other side of the internet.

【The blue-clothed man first asks, 『What is my name?』】

--Name?

【The next question is, 『What is the name of my child?』】

--Child? Why? That blue-clothed man was the type to have a child?

【And then at the end, this is the trick, the blue-clothed man will ask what's in the box. Don't fall for it.】

....Trick? Box? Don't fall for it? -- I didn’t get it at all. I didn’t get it at all, but alright. Understood. I was just about to accidentally miss my stop, so I hurriedly shouted and mashed the stopping bell, and jumped off. And then as I ran toward the university, I called my boyfriend's phone again. After several rings, I heard that familiar voice, "Hello," and at that moment, I burst into tears.

".....Ahhh, you're alive! Thank God!"

《What're you on about?》

"Never mind, it's nothing. Please, listen carefully. If you love me, you must remember what I'm going to say. Even if it's in your dreams, remember it."

《Hey, hey, calm down.》

“Just listen! If someone you don't know asks, 『What's my name?』, don't say anyone's name. If they ask, 『What's my child's name?』 don't say the name of anyone you know. And--"

《How did you know?》

My heart beat painfully at his words.

《I mean, the dream I saw. I dozed off during class a while ago. I was asked in my dream, by a guy in blue clothing. He asked me what his name was.》

"What -- what did you answer?"

《What, my name, Kimihiko Iida.》

"W- why? Why would you tell a stranger your name?"

《It wasn't a stranger.》

..........What?

《Because, the guy in blue clothing behind me was--》

The moment the rest of those words reached me -- there was a tremendous sound on the other end of the phone.

Someone's scream rang out, and a rattling metallic sound rang out simultaneously. The sound of something pouring to the ground continued without pause, and I could hear countless screams from the other end of the receiver.

I kept holding the cell phone to my ear.....

As my body weighed down, hardened, and froze.

I could do nothing, I could not resist... the deep, dark, swamp.

All that was there -- was an inescapable despair.

---

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