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| "Well, that’s because it really is seaweed…"
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| This line is very casual. It feels like it should be one of Ryuuji's thoughts. Are the internal thoughts of the characters distinctly marked in the original version?
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| "Eventually, she was clenching her teeth where her front teeth were visibly chattering,"
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| Not a clear sentence. she can't really clench and have her teeth chatter at the same time.
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| Also, what's the difference between the "* * *" and the separations without 3 stars.
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| [[User:Akirasav|Akirasav]] 20:08, 28 September 2008 (PDT)
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| That line should have been italicized. I write in MS Word and I have to fix the font when I transfer stuff, so I miss some of the lines sometimes. And the answer to your question is not really, since there are context-based clues or verbs, but thoughts, sound effects, and even some discreetly spoken lines are just embedded into the main text.
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| I thought it was like tensing up so much that she was shaking and her teeth were chattering, but I guess it seems rather contradictory. Additionally, I'm confused about how she can speak if she's clenching her teeth.
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| Anyway, here's an alternative for that sentence:
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| "Before long, she was stiffly clenching her front teeth and trembling fearfully,"
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| I don't know if there even is a difference. Sometimes the division has three stars and sometimes it doesn't, but they both denote a scene change.
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| [[User:Trabius|Trabius]] 17:28, 29 September 2008 (PDT)
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