Kamisama no Memochou:Volume 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 2

But after a week, when December starts, I was still a member of the Gardening Club, that was because Ayaka captured me after school every day for club activities. Why must she keep bothering me? I don’t know even I thought until my head bursts.

As I did not have any knowledge about gardening, I still had to stick to the railings, looking at the streets in a daze as usual. That day, the brilliant blue skies trailed across the horizon. There were only two or three clouds in the skies like stickers stuck onto the sky, dazzling anyone who dares to stare at it for a long period of time.

I always wanted to ask Ayaka: Why did you say all those things that day when we were on the way back home from the ramen shop? However, as I could not think of suitable things to ask, I could only continue looking at the view opposite to the railings.

“Really, you should really give me a hand!”

Ayaka said while puffing out her cheeks and holding a pair of scissors used for pruning.

“…… I don’t even know what to do, and the flowers have already been watered.”

“Then help me to use the ampoule on the trees, one for each plant.”

Ayaka handed the ampoule fertilizer to me. The ampoule was like a small bottle of soy sauce which comes with sumptuous bento, just that soy sauce is not filled inside, but a yellowish green liquid.

“Opening an ampoule is quite hard! If the opening is too big, the fertilizer would spill out too quickly, the ones that I open are actually with professional-level skill.”

Ayaka said triumphantly while using her scissors to cut off a little of the the tip of the ampoule.

“I’ll be in charge of cutting while you’ll be in charge of sticking it into the pot.”

“I hate work.”

I mumbled complaints while turning the ampoule over to stick it into the pot.

“You probably don’t hate work, but only couldn’t imagine yourself working!”

“Why is your Highness so sharp about these things?” I got flustered and accidentally blurted out honorifics .

“Because my brother had said such things before. He said that he doesn’t know why we must work if we want to live, so he left school halfway through high school. He didn’t even find a job, and just went here and there without an objective.”

Don’t know why we have to work if we want to live… Indeed, I feel so too. If such a day would come upon me, would I really accept the fact that I need to work in order to continue living? Or would I become one of the guys behind ‘Hanamura Ramen Shop’?

I shivered, denying the horrendous imagination of my future, and shifted my attention to sticking the ampoules into the pots. It was already past flowering season, many dry leaves and braches could be found lying on the ground, so now is the time to prepare for the next flowering season.

“If I misunderstood, I apologize now to you first. But I think that you and my brother, probably have an illness that is worse than hating work.”

“Eh?” So this is an illness?

“For instance, some people hate to eat carrots or celeries when they are little, but they could eat them when they grow up! But if I tell you to eat boots or diamonds, that can’t be achieved for eternity. This isn’t a problem of liking or hating, they can’t eat them even if they grow up.”

“Do you mean to say: ‘I cannot imagine myself eating carrots or celeries,’ huh?”

“Exactly.”

“Your analogy makes me feel down.”

“Cheer up!” Ayaka patted my back. Oh please, the person who made me feel down was you!

“The people at ‘Hanamaru’ seems to like Fujishima-kun a lot, probably because you guys have the same aura, probably! Tetsu-senpai told me take you there again.”

“I have already decided never to go there again.” If I continue to go, I would definitely become one of them sooner or later.

“Please go! Everyone’s waiting for you!”

Which quality in me do they admire? I almost never spoke to others willingly, my social skills is quite poor!

“You are not as introverted as armadillidium like you thought!”

“Really?” I didn’t say that I’m like an armadillidium.

“That’s right, and you keep talking to yourself.”

I accidentally stuck the ampoule onto my shoes.

“Do…… Do I often talk to myself?”

“Oh yes, I think that’s why you could communicate with them. Are you okay? You look terrible!”

I probably couldn’t function anymore.

“But if you don’t speak your mind, nobody would understand you!”

“I always forget how to communicate.” I answered randomly. But when I think about it, things are indeed so. Ayaka stared at me for awhile, and sighed.

“Then you should practice! Right?”

*

Finally, I still could not refuse her, and could only follow Ayaka to the ramen shop. That day, there weren’t anyone behind ‘Hanamaru’ ’s kitchen door. Although it was already evening, there weren’t any customers there.

“So you’re here again, Narumi?”

A surprised expression appeared on Min-san’s face, and she said while cutting cabbages and glared at me. As I saw just now, she wore a vest while her breast was covered up with a sarashi, her appearance looked as if people could easily take advantage of her.

“Forget it, I thought that you would turn out like that the last time we met.”

“Turn out how?”

“It’s still not too late!” Min-san just said that. What does she mean by not too late?

“If you just practice your speaking skills, you probably would not become a NEET.”

After saying that, Ayaka went into the kitchen and wore an apron. I sighed, and sat on the gas tank. Say whatever you want!

“Oh yeah, do you want to work part time here too, Fujishima-kun?”

Min-san replied immediately: “Narumi looks like he doesn’t know how to do anything, the shop doesn’t need this type of people.”

Discouraged, I took a spoon and stirred my coffee ice cream, Min-san took a bowl and poked her head out of the kitchen.

“That’s right, there’s still something that you could do.”

“What is is?”

“Take this to Alice.”

It was Japanese styled Dan Dan Noodles filled with vegetables, but this time some noodles could be seen in the sea of vegetables.

“The last time you delivered it, Alice ate them all. Before that, she usually doesn’t finish them, so please help today too. If there’s anything left in the bowl, I’ll hit you!”

*

“What is this? I ordered Dan Dan Noodles, but without noodles, carrots, mushrooms or meat.”

Alice puffed out her cheeks, eyeing the food in the bowl in displeasure.

That day, the air-conditioning is also very cold in the detective agency, but Alice was just wearing pajamas with teddy bears on it. Won’t she be cold like this?

“But there’s obviously noodles, meat and other stuff in it! Please tell me a reason for me to eat this.”

“Min-san is worried that you will have malnutrition.”

“Oh, so there’s a standard for malnutrition? Then please enlighten me about this standard of yours. Let’s make this clear, I who lived for ten over years only on Dr. Pepper wouldn’t listen to unreasonable reasons, and don’t try to use some bad excuse to convince me, I will utterly destroy your points.”

I sighed. Although I wasn’t sure if Alice was a detective or not, but this little girl really has a lot to say. I’ve already known that I couldn’t convince her, so I quickly used the secret technique that Min-san taught me.

“Min-san said that you can’t have ice cream if you don’t finish them.”

Alice’s froze, and her lips started to tremble.

“…… So, so despicable…… According to Act 222 of the penal code, this can already be said as a threat, and also violates the Competition law for refusing to sell.”

The teary-eyed Alice waved her hands, and listed out one after another suspicious laws. As I found it interesting, I temporarily watched Alice’s actions silently.

She probably gave up, huh? Alice took her chopsticks while pouting.

“Get me some Dr. Pepper! Three cans!”

“Do you want to drink them after eating?”

“I want to eat while drinking! How could carrots and meat be eaten directly?”

Alice, who was holding a dark red can in one hand while eating Dan Dan Noodles teary-eyed was really worth watching.

“Stop scrutinizing me!”

Alice swiftly drank the first can of Dr. Pepper, picked up the empty can and threw it at me, I could only hold in my laughter while turning my back to her. But Alice is really a picky eater! Is she really from Earth?

“What do you do when eating nutrition lunch at school? Didn’t you get scolded?”

I suddenly thought about this and asked Alice.

Alice was silent for awhile, and then answered me:

“I have never been to a school.”

“Eh?”

Although I know what is a nutrition lunch, I have never entered any educational institutions from birth.”

I didn’t think that Alice would have a normal life, but I never would have thought that she haven’t even went to primary school.

“According to Tetsu-senpai, the NEETs who haven’t even graduated from primary school is the highest level of them all. Hmph, I am completely uninterested in these rankings.”

Even so, I have this faint feeling that if Alice went to school like other people do, she would also think that a normal life is very uninteresting.

“No such thing, I would not look down on normal things.”

I was startled and turn my head over. It looks like I accidentally spoke my inner thoughts again.

“I was really determined to finish primary school and middle school. Even though I hate ignorance, it is completely unrelated to ordinariness. Going to school is an experience that I never had, and is also my regret. But when people who are the same age as me are going for mandatory education, what do you think I was doing?”

Alice paused to put a piece of noodle in her mouth, soured her face and gulped it down with some Dr. Pepper. It looks as if she was asking my opinion.

“Learning how to be a good wife?”

Alice nearly spitted the food out of her mouth.

“…… Your sense of humor is indeed odd, it’s no wonder that you are excluded from other people. I pity you very much.”

I’m now pitied, but what Alice said was the truth.

“So what’s the correct answer?”

“Eh? Ah, the answer is as you see——opening windows in the network world, observing the limited and twisted world.”

Alice’s gaze fell on the black machines that covered up the whole wall behind her.

“…… Everyday?”

“The ‘everyday’ that I mean is worse than you imagine. My life was just saving information into my body, washing away my helplessness by drinking Dr. Pepper. I kept searching for the meaning of my existence. Do you know this? On Earth, a child would die because of poverty every 3.6 seconds, and actually all of it is ‘my fault’.”

“…… Ah?”

I couldn’t help but exclaim in surprise. What nonsense is she spouting?

“This is purely a hypothetical problem. Listen, if I have enough resources and way to produce food, I could save the starving children. I am not worried about poverty, and am not a holy person. I repeat, this is purely a hypothetical problem. If I have enough power, I could save the children who are gradually dying, so the death of the children is because I do not have enough power to save them. Similarly, when a plane is kept hostage by terrorists and hits a building, it is because I do not have the power to stop it; The harm that is caused due to earthquakes or tsunamis, is because I do not have the power to predict them.”

Purely a hypothetical problem.

But in that case, wouldn’t that mean that everything that happened is Alice’s fault?

“That is how I passed my days, using my time to confirm my helplessness. To be exact, it should be about eight years or so, huh? I want to know what a powerless person like me can do for this world, for instance to do something for the people who died hopelessly, or cannot do anything for them at all.”

Using eight years. Its too stupid.

“Because I felt the limits, I ran away from home. I sealed myself in a new fortress, and continued to open windows in this world. Hehe, actually I’m now in pursuit by my family, so I have no choice but to open a window in the real world.”

Alice laugh self-deprecatingly, and looked at the countless cubical monitors at the right side of her bed. Although the monitors were small, I could not see what it was, until the curtains of ‘Hanamura’ appeared on the monitor, I realized that it was the view of the surroundings of the building. There were six live videos that were taken from surveillance cameras, including the space between this building and the next, and also their interiors.

“Being pursued…..?

“Because the people in my family aren’t stupid, they probably already knew where I hid. This is just as a precaution for them from using unorthrodox methods to look for me! I ran away from home, ran away from my helplessness, ran away from the world that is gradually lost because of my powerlessness…… But even so I couldn’t find the answer to that, so……”

I looked at Alice’s face, taken aback.

This girl is serious, although I thought that the things that she said was just a joke.

“So I chose to become a detective.”

“…… Sorry, your words confuse me, I don’t get it.”

“You don’t understand? In this world, there are only two jobs that can help those who are dead or have lost something, a novelist and a detective: A novelist can revive them in their dreams, detectives can dig out the real message from their graves. This is what leaders of a religion, a politician, a burial agency or the firefighters can’t do.”

I could not say anything at this moment. Alice lowered her head in loneliness, and use her chopsticks to swirl the food in her bowl.

“But sometimes I still feel somewhat queasy. A detective can only take action on things that have already been lost, right? They cannot solve the things that have not happened, or dig a grave that has not been made yet. So for people who might be hurt in the future, I am still powerless.”

After that, Alice became silent and shifted her attention to the food left in her bowl. Ashamed, I turned away from her yet again. The sound of Alice chewing the cabbage sounded sorrowful, for some reason.

After a very long time, Alice finally cleared away the food in the bowl. I silently handed her the vanilla ice cream that I kept hidden for some time, but Alice just placed it on the table, not even touching it, but raised her head to look at my face.

“Eh…… Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing, I just felt inconceivable, to why I would tell you so much.”

I felt mystified too, never have I thought that Alice would tell me so much about herself, making me feel a bit worried about the future of this pajamas clad girl—— even though I am absolutely not qualified to be worried for other people.

“You can just tell me what you think! I don’t mind.”

“Okay.” Although I hesitated, I still spoke my mind honestly, because I know how hurtful a white lie can be. “What you said was too abstract, I have absolutely no idea what you said.”

I thought Alice would throw a second empty can at me, but instead she laughed out loud. Alice, with her long, black hair that has become unruly, said while wiping away the tears at the corner of her eyes:

“What an interesting fellow you are. Just listening to Ayaka’s description of you, I thought that you were a hopeless person! It seems that it is not so.”

“Ayaka…… said something about me to you?”

“Hmph, so you mind? That’s surprising. I thought you have absolutely no interest in other people.”

Alice started to laugh mischievously.

“Of course I don’t mind.” I couldn’t help but retort.

“Really? Then I don’t have any reason to tell you.”

I bit my lower lip, finding that I was starting to get restless. Of course I mind how Ayaka see me. As if she had seen through my thoughts, Alice finally answered.

“…… Ayaka said that you are similar to Toshio.”

“Toshio? Who is that?”

“He’s Ayaka’s brother! He’s also a drop out who always hangs out with Tetsu and the others, but he’s not here lately. Which reminds me, useless, doesn’t speak when he’s in a bad mood, always talking to himself and always giving trouble to Ayaka, these qualities of his are extremely similar to you.”

What Alice said is really too over. When I thought about the situation when Ayaka was describing her brother, a complicated feeling came upon me. So it was because Ayaka was worried of me, who is similar to her brother, which compelled her to invite me into the Gardening Club? I couldn’t help but think that the things that I think about is quite silly.

“You don’t need to worry, you’re not that much aike, and also you’re not a NEET.” Alice said to me, who was silent. “Toshio is not as stubborn as you, at least……”

Alice suddenly stopped talking, her eyes glued to the monitor beside her bed.

“…… Is something the matter?”

“Well, speak of the devil. Here’s Toshio.”

“Eh?”

“Why did he come out from inside?”

Following Alice’s lead, I stared at the monitor, which was showing a skinny silhouette at the third box from the right. The surroundings of the gas tanks that could be seen at the bottom left corner of the screen was filmed from above, where the NEETs like to gather. The silhouette wearing a dark blue hoodie was standing at the gap between the buildings, not even moving an inch.

“Narumi, go catch that fellow for me. He probably just wants to go back like this.”

“Why……”

“Because Ayaka is worried of him. Don’t ask anymore, just hurry!”

*

When I walked down the ladder, the silhouette was walking further into the gap with his back to me. I pushed away the hill of garbage bags while running towards him.

“Hey!”

The silhouette donning sports jacket shook for a moment, and then turned his head over. He had a thin, pale face, and had a nervous expression behind his spectacles that wandered here and there. It was obvious that he was Ayaka’s brother, as their eyes were identical. Seeing as he was so nervous, I, who originally wanted to talk to him, could not think of anything to say.

“Brother?”

Ayaka’s voice rang in the alley. I turned around, and saw Ayaka, who was wearing an apron, poke half of her body out of the kitchen.

Ayaka’s brother —— Toshio sighed, as if he has given up on something.

“You could just give us a call before you come here.”

“My phone service has been cancelled, because I didn’t pay up.”

Ayaka dragged Toshio out of the gap between the buildings, and stealthily took some cash out of her wallet and handed it to him. Whoa, there’s actually such a useless brother, I could only pretend not to see anything.

Toshio who went back to the ramen shop, sat on the ladders and said to the kitchen: “Min-san, give me an ice cream! I’m parched.” Min-san, who walked out of the kitchen, knitted her brows, peered at toshio and said: “You probably ate some strange stuff again, didn’t’ you? If you eat cold things you’ll throw up.” And she returned to the kitchen after saying that.

Ayaka said: “ Brother, wait for me awhile, I’ll make something hot for you to eat.” And she returned to the kitchen after saying that too.

Toshio smacked his lips, and then took out a small plastic bag out of his pockets, broke the pills in the plastic bag into half and crushed eat, then swallowed it down without even a drink of water, and he stared at me after he finished eating the medicine.

“Ayaka told me about you some time ago, so you’re in the same club?”

Toshio finally said to me, and I nodded a bit nervously.

“Oh really, so you’re Narumi.”

I thought to myself, what did Ayaka say to Toshio?

“She’s very dumb, being together with her is hard, isn’t it?”

I shook my head. Toshio looked at the winter sky that was full of clouds and gave a hollow laugh, his laughter felt like someone using a cold metal stick to scratch his back.

After that our conversation came to a stop. Toshio hunched his back, and then stuck his hands into the pockets of his sports jacket. His eyes wandered while starting to shake his legs. I secretly observed Toshio from the side.

Is he really that similar to me?

I dunno, maybe it really is that similar? He was older than me for about one or two years, but his skin looked dry, coarse and pale. No wonder Ayaka would be worried about him.

“Oh? How rare for you to turn up here!”

A voice suddenly sounded behind us. I turned my head around, and saw Tetsu-senpai wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt as usual, Hiro was wearing a leather jacket, while Major wore what seemed like clothes for the Siberian garrisons. The three walked into the gap between the buildings together.

“Toshio, what were you doing before this?”

“Nothing, I’m just busy with a lot of things.”

Facing Tetsu-senpai’s questions, Toshio averted his gaze and answered mysteriously.

Tetsu-senpai looked at me and then looked at Toshio, and said:” Narumi’s here again! That way, the three drop outs are all here, NEETs who graduated from middle school are truly the best!”

“I haven’t dropped out yet, don’t group me together with you guys!”

My objections were completely ignored.

“It’s because Tetsu say things like this, NEETs-in-waiting would increase! We can’t wait until he drops out, we must figure out a way for him to drop out willingly!” “The one who graduated from high school, you’re too noisy! Wanna have a fight?” Major and Tetsu-senpai started to argue for some reason.

“It’s rare that Toshio is here, since we haven’t gone to the arcade for a long time, lets go together!” Hiro suggested. “I learnt a new chain technique, and can use a new killer technique, so I can defeat Toshio now!”

“Eh, I don’t want to, aiyo!”

Toshio was unwilling to go, but his arms were held by Tetsu-senpai, and was forced to stand up.

“Will you come with us, Narumi?”

“To where?” Ayaka flew out of the kitchen in a hurry.

Hiro smiled and said: “The arcade.”

“Is brother going too?”

“Let’s go quickly!”

As if he found the situation hassling, Toshio looked at Ayaka for a moment and then quickly walked to the main streets.

*

I was brought to the arcade at the shopping centre of the station. The first floor was filled with crane games and sticker making machines, while half of the second floor was occupied by large music game machines, online games and racing games. The older games were all squeezed in a corner.

Toshio was really good in fighting games, Toshio-senpai and Hiro challenged him in turn, but still can’t defeat him.

Major dragged Toshio to a Gundam fighting machine and challenged him with brimming confidence, but was also completely defeated. Toshio, who was controlling Sac II, had superhuman-like senses, making people think that he had another pair of eyes behind his back. Toshio did not want to play at the start, but his eyes became somewhat eerie after winning a few matches, and he also made strange noises. Having a six time winning streak while playing with Major, I originally thought that Toshio would again make the annoying laugh again, but his face suddenly turned green, said ‘I’m going to the washroom for awhile’, and left his game that was playing halfway.

“…… That guy, seems like he’s in trouble again.” Tetsu-senpai said worriedly.

“In trouble?”

“He once bought legal medicine from the Internet before. (Note: Legal medicine- drugs. Is not legal at all, and is said to be legal by the sellers who are doing promotions)”

I recalled the pills that Toshio swallowed just now, would that be the legal medicine that Tetsu-senpai said? I started to get a bit worried.

“I’ll go check out Toshio’s condition.”

Toshio walked out of the washroom with a sickly expression on his face, the corner of his lips were wet, and smelled somewhat sour. He probably threw up.

Toshio said: “I’ll go outside to get some fresh air.” I was still worried, so I followed him out.

Under the setting sun, the road was full of cars, Bing Crosby’s Christmas song and the red green lights of the decoration could be seen and heard in the sidewalk that was full of people. Toshio sat down on the stone steps outside the arcade, and drank the Fanta carbonated water that he bought from the automatic vendor. Toshio’s eyes wandered again, making people feel queasy.

“…… Are you okay?”

“They look as if they’re not moving.”

“Eh?”

“The people looks as if they’re not moving. It’s true, I can even see the movement of a dot. Even if I close my eyes, and just listen to the noise, I could win.”

After saying that, he laughed, giving no thought to the people walking around.

“Do you always hang out with Tetsu and the guys?”

Toshio said while having hiccups.

“No…… I only came to know them recently.”

“But you look like you’re very close to them.”

Toshio laughed again. Do I look like I’m very close to them?

“…… It was because I often skip school to go to the arcades, then I gradually became closer to them. They taught me a lot of things, so why don’t you go play fighting games too! I can teach you the next time.”

I felt a bit shy, and dropped my gaze to look at my knees. If I can play like this everyday, even if I’m kicked out of school, even if I become a NEET, then —— it isn’t really a bad thing.

“Toshio, would you still come to ‘Hanamaru’ after this?”

“Eh? Ah….. Hmmm, yes, right, I’ve already……”

Facing my questions, Toshio looked like he was looking far away.

“Forgot, because I didn’t meet them for quite a long time already……”

Toshio suddenly stopped talking, and started to cough violently. After he stopped coughing, his was still breathing heavily, his hunched back rocking up and down. I didn’t know what to do, and can only rub his back covered by the sports jacket.

Toshio used his trembling hands to take out a plastic bag from his pockets, this time he swallowed a pill with a gulp of Fanta. I tried to stop him, but it was too late. The carbonated drink spilled onto Toshio’s jeans, but he doesn’t seem to mind. The people passing by stared at us.

Toshio’s body finally stopped trembling.

“…… Angel Fix.”

“What is that?”

“This! Great name, isn’t it! It brings you to heaven.”

Toshio pressed the remaining two pills left in the bag to my face. I could see a picture of wings and the letters A.F engraved on the small pink pills.

“Do you want it? I could sell it to you for a discount.”

“No thanks…… That isn’t normal medication, is it?”

“That doesn’t matter. It isn’t a drug, the others are just making a big fuss out of nothing, this is just a legal medication.”

I swallowed my saliva in anguish.

“Why? This type of medicine……”

“You ask me why? You, you……” What Toshio is saying started to get muddled up. “Why do you think humans live in this world?”

I don’t know what Toshio meant by suddenly saying this, so I could only remain silent.

“In a human’s brain, there is a type of thing called the compensation nervous system, which is what we call the A10 nervous system. When we eat tasty stuff, are praised by other people or have bought something that we want, the system would synthesize neurotransmitters, and change it into signals so that we would have a blissful feeling. In contrast, schizophrenia or depression is usually caused by a decrease in dopamine. In short, no matter how hard we try to pursue happiness, if the brain does not synthesize neurotransmitters properly, we would not feel happy, so the reason we continue to live is to stimulate the A10 nervous system.”

I did not say anything, but only stared at Toshio’s face. I could see that the Toshio was not focused on me anymore, does he know who he is talking to? It was as if he was a different person from the Toshio just now, and has become very garrulous.

“That is why, we could just depend on medication! It’s straightforward, easy, and you could feel pleasure straightaway. You don’t need to work hard to earn money, and don’t need to look for girls to marry, we can achieve the same results just depending on the medication . But The process is not the same, no pain and not time-consuming. Medication is perfect. For instance, people like me, kicked out of high school, fired at work, has only graduated from middle school and could not find any work, but I don’t really feel like looking for a job anyway. Only angels would not look down on me, that’s what this is all about.”

Toshio raised the plastic bag containing the pink pills to cover the glaring streetlights in the night. I couldn’t help but take hold of his shoulders and start to shake him.

“I’m alright, it hurts, stop shaking me.”

I’m alright, I’m alright, as if following a beat for a song, Toshio kept repeating this sentence.

“That’s right, I have something to ask you, did you see some yakuzas that are about the same age as us at the ramen shop recently?”

“…… Do you mean Yondaime?”

I told Toshio about Yondaime visiting Alice’s room.

“What the heck, so you even know about Yondaime and Alice! That’s good, I just wanted to know about this thing. Hahaha, you’ve completely become one of them now!”

Toshio strolled towards the sidewalk, laughing maniacally at the night skies. The people passing by knitted their brows and walked far away from us, forming a space shaped like a half circle.

“Does Ayaka get along with the others?”

I nodded.

“Isn’t she somewhat lonesome at school?”

Although she’s a bit eccentric, Ayaka isn’t the same as me, she can happily talk to our classmates naturally.

“Is that so? Why is that, I wonder? She once refused to go to school when she was in middle school, why is that? When did she become a normal person again? And she even wanted to drag me to school too. I just couldn’t do it, it’s not that I like not going to school. She flew into a temper when I said that I wanted to drop out, really, nagging me should have its limits.”

After listening to this, I, who was sitting down, froze. While laughing boisterously, Toshio walked into the crowd, going towards the main road. Seeing Toshio disappear in the sea of people, I could only stare at the view in a daze.

In the din of the crowd, Toshio’s scary, screeching laughter could still be heard. I hastily stood up, pushing away the crowd and went after him. This is not good. Although I don’t know why, I felt that a problem is going to arise.

The people nearby also seemed to sense what I have felt from the laughter. Toshio walked unsteadily on the road, and a circular space formed beside him, as if he was wearing a large, invisible float. The crowd stopped moving, causing me to be unable to get close to Toshio.

It was like Toshio was enclosed in an inexplicable membrane, springing towards the zebra crossing while the lights were yellow. The yellow light changed to red in a flash, and the drivers started sounding their horn at Toshio. He unsteadily walked to the other side of the zebra crossings while laughing, and I who was standing at the other side could not do anything but keep my eyes on him.

The crowd who was waiting for the light to change to green made a small noise, but Toshio’s silhouette vanished in only a moment in the impatient horns and the cars that were passing the junction. As soon as Toshio’s silhouette disappeared, everyone seemed to have forgot about the scary laughter. The people in this city is very tolerant of oddballs, because things will be endless if they care about each and every one of them.

Even so, a man kept staringg at Toshio with a smile on his face, until Toshio vanished. The man was very young, and was waiting for the lights to change by my side. He donned a high class Kashmir wool coat, has thin cheeks, and had a pair of frameless glasses on his face with a sharp chin.

Our gazes locked for a moment, and that was enough for me to shiver. I don’t know why, but I could feel that there is something hidden in his deep in his eyes that makes me feel queasy.

Music rang from the pockets of the man’s coat, it was a steady sound of a plucking guitar. He took out his phone and answered it: “Hello…… Yes, I’ve found Shinozaki, I’ll go back as soon as I pick him up. Hmm? Keep the distillation locked up first, and wait for me to go back.. Continue to put them in separate packs, you know that our stocks aren’t enough, don’t you? That’s right, yeah……”

The voice that could never be forgotten even though it is only heard once, gave people an unpleasant feeling like thorns. The man started to walk while talking on the phone, while I was pushed by the people at the back, and nearly fell down on the streets.I hurriedly caught hold of the railings at the side of the sidewalk. The traffic light changed to green when I didn’t notice, so the crowd rushed out to the zebra crossings.

But I could not move. The man’s words left an unforgettable impression on me, causing my legs to tremble, unable to move even one step.

The man indeed said: “Shinozaki.” Does he know Toshio? But who on Earth is he?

A bad premonition flashed across my mind.

“Hey! Where’s Toshio? Where has he gone?”

A voice spoke to me, who was standing at the end of the street, not knowing what to do. Turning my head to the voice, Tetsu-senpai, Hiro and Major were all there.

“…… I don’t know where he ran off to.”

I finally said. After telling them about Toshio’s condition, a dumbfounded expression appeared on Tetsu-senpai’s face, and he scratched his head.

“Don’t go crazy on the streets after taking drugs, that idiot……”

Major said: “Should we go find him?”

Hiro shook his phone: “But I can’t get to his phone!”

Almost at the same time, the three looked at the street that was full of people. It was impossible to look for anyone on this street. Even so, Tetsu-senpai lightly patted my head.

“Narumi, you go back to ‘Hanamaru’ first, and deal with Ayaka.”

“B- But……”

“Don’t make her feel too worried. We’ll go look for Toshio.”

I didn’t even have enough time to answer him, then the three vanished in the crowd, looking for Toshio.

*

After returning to the ramen shop, I found that the shop was pitch dark, and there were not even one customer, while Ayaka could not be seen anywhere as well. Min-san was stirring the butter in a large bowl.

“I told Ayaka, since there’s no customers today, she could go home first. But she said that Toshio might come back, sho she’s waiting upstairs.”

“Upstairs as in Alice’s agency?”

“Yeah.”

Ayaka sat on the mattress of the agency, and she let Alice sit on her thighs, combing Alice’s long hair.

“Is brother gone already? Where is he?”

“Ayaka, it hurts, you’ve pulled my hair.” Alice moved her neck in protest.

“Ah, so sorry.”

Ayaka wasn’t really tall, but in comparison you could see that Alice was very petite, almost like a real doll.

“Did brother say where he lives right now?”

“…… I’m not really sure.”

I couldn’t answer her properly. Getting delirious after taking drugs, and then disappearing, it was really hard to tell people about this kind of stuff.

“What a headache, he should at least tell me how to contact him!”

But it seemed like Toshio found Ayaka troublesome. Is that what he really thought? Or is it some nonsense that he said after taking drugs?

“Ayaka, just don’t care about that specky, ignorant guy who suddenly disappeared. Blood relation is the first stupid cornerstone of belief that humans should break.”

“Alice, don’t turn around!”

“(sobs)” Alice wanted to turn her head around to face Ayaka, but Ayaka held Alice’s head, so she could not move her head, causing Alice to look terrible.

“And if if you would also not care about my hair, I would be very happy.”

“That wouldn’t do! You have such beautiful, luscious long hair, if you don’t comb it properly, it would become unruly very soon. The shampoo and conditioners that I gave you, did you use them?”

“Really, there should be a limit to being a busybody!

Alice made a disgruntled noise, but still sat on Ayaka’s thighs. There is a type of person in this world that are busybodies, and could not leave other people alone. Ayaka was one of them. That would probably be it.

When I was about to walk out of the agency, Ayaka said that she wanted to go home too.

While walking down the ladder, the ringtone of a phone rang from Ayaka’s bag.

“…… Hello?”

“Hello, Ayaka? It’s me……”

Toshio who was on the phone was very loud, so loud that even I can hear him. The effects of the drug is probably still there, his voice sounded inexplicably cheerful.

“Brother?”

“This is Hakamizaka-san’s phone, so I can’t talk to you so long. I’m at his place right now, so help me to tell mother.”

“Ah, but brother……”

He hung up suddenly, just like when he called just now. Ayaka silently looked at her phone, and then looked at me, showing me a troubled smile. I turned my head away.

“Was it Toshio?”

“Yeah. It seems like he’s at Hakamizaka’s.”

Hakamizaka?

“Yeah—— I’ve only seen him two or three times, so we’re not that close. He’s probably a university student. He’s very knowledgeable about poppy flowers, so probably he’ll become a scholar, huh?”

“So do you know where they are right now?”

“No, I don’t know, and the phone number was private too…… I couldn’t call him again. Brother is too over.”

Ayaka sadly knitted her brows, placing her phone back into her bag.

“He’s like this everytime, always disappearing without saying a thing.”

I thought to myself: that’s probably because he thinks that you’re troublesome. Ayaka looked at me and cocked her head.

“What did you say just now?”

I faked a ‘ididn’tsayanything’ expression. I’ve probably let slip my inner thoughts again.

“…… Brother probably said something to you, didn’t he? I know that you’re hiding something from me.”

I silently lowered my head.

“Really, why won’t you tell me?”

I swallowed, and raised my head.

“…… I’ve heard that you refused to go to school when you were in middle school.”

Why did I ask this question? Ayaka’s expression froze, and an anxious, unnatural smile appeared on her face, showing that she wanted to hide something.

“A- About me, huh? Eh, um, that is……”

Toshio can’t be helped now, but if it was me——

“Do you think that I could still be saved?”

“…… What do you mean by that?”

I turned my back to Ayaka, and walked quickly down the ladder. Even I do not know what I was talking about, why would I say such a thing?

“Fujishima-kun!”

I ignored Ayaka’s shouts and ran out of the building. On the way home, Ayaka and Toshio’s words muddled together, swirling in my mind.

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