Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita:Volume 3 Chapter 1

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Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind this is a very early draft. It's only part of the chapter and is missing images and notations

The Fairies’ Homecoming

Homo sapiens are an existence whose time has passed.

The numerous cities that once covered the landscape have been swallowed by nature.

The severe decay has made most structures unliveable.

Due to the gradual but relentless population decline, we’ve all but forgotten about politics, war, even crime and discrimination.

Another species, the fairies, have taken over from us.

So much so that nowadays the term ’humanity’ refers to them instead of us.

As a UN Mediator, my job is to maintain the relationship between fairies and us old-humanity, still commonly called simply ‘humans’ in a lot of contexts.

Although they possess scientific know-how far surpassing our own, they tend to get carried away.

In order to try and keep us safe from their enthusiastic personalities, the Mediator is one of the very few professions that has managed to survive to the modern era.

In our village, Camphorwood’s Mediation Office currently employs three staff:

The narrator, myself.

My grandfather, who is also the Office Head.

And the assistant.

A little while ago we had a little incident involving the assistant and the fairies.

It was a confusing afternoon, but thankfully everything worked out okay.
At the moment, he’s quietly doing some writing at the desk he’s been assigned.

It’s been a peaceful day.

The doll handing from the upper window-frame swayed side to side gracefully in the gentle breeze, while also looking a bit like a hanged corpse.

“Let’s make some tea!”

In our office, we have tea-time five times a day. There’s really nothing to do, otherwise.

It’s June, the season of that sublime fruit, the strawberry.

An expressive power that steals hearts. That sharp, noble colouring. That form that brings to mind the great artists of old times.

This virtuoso had more than enough allure to consume by itself, but when used as a baking ingredient, it brings out a kaleidoscope of new flavours.

And so today’s desert is full of strawberries.

Grandpa slipped a bookmark into the thick old volume he’d been reading and looked up.

“What’re we having for snacks?”

“A cheesecake with a lot of strawberries in it.”

“Looks tasty.”

The moist cheesecake base was topped with numerous strawberries, and overflowed with a strawberry-and-cream sauce. It was one of the best desserts I’d ever baked.
And what’s more…

While I started slicing the cake, Grandad brought the teapot and Assistant-san brought the milk jug to the circular table we use for tea-time.[]

“Assistant-kun, pour the milk for us, please. Same amounts as always.”

“…” the assistant nodded.

He brought over the milk jug, which was being cooled by tap water, over to the table. It had a doll hugging the handle integrated into the design.

He poured cold milk into elegant, fine teacups that looked as if they could easily break if filled with hot water.

The amount of milk was different for everyone. For me just a normal amount, a little more for the assistant, and only a tiny bit for Grandad.

He then filled each cup with hot tea, and a fresh aroma filled the room, giving everyone a moment of ecstasy.

“Okay, let’s make a start!” I said.

“Yep.” Grandad replied gruffly.

The three of us surrounded the table, enjoying the ample dessert.

“You’re not going to ring it?” grandpa said, jerking his chin to the side.

He was signalling to a bell placed on one side of the table. It’s design made it look like a fairy was dangling the bell under it.

“You’re right, I forgot,” I said, tapping the bell and filling the room with a sound like a gently tumbling lapis lazuli.

And at that…

“Yess!”

The doll hanging in the window frame suddenly spread its arms and legs out, and slipped out of the rope around its neck.

“Thanks very much!”

The book Grandad had been reading snapped open, and a fairy stood with his hands spread in the air.

“Gracias!”

The fairy that was the milk pot’s decoration sprung across the table.

“I’ve been waiting for you!”

“Merci!”

“Fevah!”

The fairy that’d been stuck to a cork-board with a pin.

The fairy holding a cylinder so that they could fulfil their role as a pen stand.

The pair of fairies that had formed the two sides of a book-stand.

And finally, the fairy who had become the table-bell angel for us.

“You’re all pretty lively today,” I said.

These human-loving fairies had recently taken to, without us asking or anything, spending all their time working as everyday goods for us.

“Caake! Cake!” they nagged.

“Yes, don’t worry, I have some for you all”

Just our usual, rowdy tea-time.

“Assistant-kun, how’s your picture book coming along?”

“Picture book?” I asked, looking across at Grandad.

“I know it’s a bit late, but I’m trying to foster his taste a bit. I told him to have a go with a book or two.”

The assistant brought a sketchbook over from his desk.

“Wait, you’ve been ‘’’’’making them?”’’’”

“…”

The assistant passed the book over to me.

“You’re letting me read it?” I asked as I looked at the cover.

The title was “The Forest Friends” was written in giant letters.

The assistant nodded once.

I placed the book on the table so everyone could see it, and opened it to the first page.

The light pastel illustrations and test jumped out at me.

“Wow, your pictures really are amazing.”

A landscape had been drawn without perspective. Trees and shrubbery were spread across the page as if on a map.

Stones and trees were given as much emphasis as the drawings of the characters

A style that doesn’t emphasise characters, or that reflects a distance between the artist and the work. Something like that.

The main characters seemed to be a pair of small yellow baby birds.

The picture book started like this:

‘’’”Tenderloin and Wing were two chicks. They were great pals.”’’’

“This is a very peaceful story!”

The detailed illustrations had caught the attention of the fairies, who had gathered around, their cheeks stuffed full of cake.

Is it some scribbles” - “I think it’s a manga” - “This looks fun”

“We can’t think of any stories” - “We can, it’s just that the plot will be awful”

“But if we do that, the experts will get angry” - “We aren’t suited to it”

“Only the humans can do it.”

Is that so?

An ultra-scientific race which can’t do baking or sweets or make up any stories… very puzzling indeed.

Page 2

”Tenderloin and Wing were very hungry. They went to the forest to look for food.”

“Getting by day by day!” -“Are they scavenging buffs?”

“They’re a little bit pathetic”

The fairies’ comments were surprisingly harsh.

Page 3

They found an acorn! Tenderloin loves acorns, since they’re super tasty!

”Yep that’s true” —— ”I get that”

”I thought that one time” —— ”Affirmative”

”I long for acorns”

It’s not impossible to do baking with acorns, but considering how hard they are to open up, the reward they give you is quite small.

At least compared to walnuts.

Page 4

We discovered a mushroom! Wing can’t resist these.

“Whenever I find a mushroom, I sit on it.” —— “They do make good chairs, for sure.”

”They don’t come with desks though.” —— ”They’re for when you’re out walking, aren’t they?”

They do seem just right for fairies to sit on.

Page 5

A very big egg was on the ground. Tenderloin and Wing decided to make it into an omelette.

After this, there was a series pages showing the characters working hard to cook the egg into an omelette.

It was quite a well-written story, and before long I’d almost read the whole book.

Honestly, if he can write a story this good, I can’t see his taste needing any fostering at all.

Page 10

We finally finished making the omelette!

And what’s this? All our friends from the forest had smelled our delicious cooking and come to visit!

Page 11

A squirrel, a rabbit, a mole, a chicken, a deer, a mouse, a cat, a boar, and a lion.

Everyone’s gathered, now let’s eat!

“It looks like the next page is the last… uh?”

Grandad couldn’t wait, and had peeked at the next page already.

Judging by the story so far, I’m guessing they all eat the omelette together and then it’s happily ever after, but for some reason Grandad’s face had taken on a troubled expression.

“Show it to us as well!” I said, flipping open the next page.

“…”

This dreadful scene…

Page 12

Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!

”Yum! Thanks for the meal, guys!"

The lion had eaten all the rest of the forest friends.

“Grandad, keep up with the taste fostering!!”

The assistant clearly has some dark stuff wriggling around in his subconsciousness.

This ending is just far too brutal!

“If you think about it, this is how things would actually turn out” Grandad whispered, so that only I could hear.

“This isn’t the time to get all philosophical. Just look at this bloodbath!”

The last page featured a pile of animal bones with a satisfied lion sitting next to them.

The lion was coloured brightly with pastels, which only made the scene more bizarre.

“Don’t you think the very concept of ’forest friends’ is nothing more than a fantasy that us humans created?”

“Let him think about that once he becomes an adult!”

“You’re right. I’d hate to think what’d happen if a normal child read this.”

But the fairies didn’t seem particularly bothered by this ending.

”The strong…” —— ”Eat the weak!”

”Very true!” —— ”A satisfying ending, is it not?”

”And so the lion ends up having the umami all to himself.” —— “The realism!”

If anything, they liked it?

“Very fun story!”

“…” the assistant said gratefully.

The fairies and the assistant were touching the tips of their fingers together, communicating in a way that only that understood.

In the end, we decided that it was better for the assistant to focus on reading, rather than writing.

◈

The caravan that was due at the end of May instead arrived a few days into June.

Townsfolk, who often have a lot of free time on their hands, were already gathering around the trailers that were parked in the village square.

The mood of the square was not unlike a festival.

Most people go down and see the caravans even if they don’t have anything they need to buy, as it’s the only real point of contact the village has with the outside world.

Even an introvert like myself comes down whenever I have ration vouchers to spend.

A temporary beer-hall set up in a tent. Open-air stalls filled with wooden crates.

Fruit, grains, milk products, herbs and spices, tools, clothing and even toys.

There were almost as many stalls as there were people.

A jar of lemon and pear jam. A summer blouse and skirt. A cooking knife. A big jar of sliced-up fruits preserved in rum.

I’d done all my miscellaneous shopping and started heading home through the crowded square, I bumped into Grandad.

He was talking to some people in the caravan, so I tried to slip past without interrupting them.

“Oi, come here!” Grandad called, stopping me in my tracks.

“Uh, yes, what is it?”

I was introduced to a tidy, slender man who looked to be around fifty years old.

Grandad introduced us, his tone changing dramatically between me and his guest:

“And I don’t believe you’ve met my granddaughter before…
That’s right, over here! This is the UNESCO Office Chief.”

Office Chief? Then this guy’s pretty high up, isn’t he?

“Nice to meet you, I’m the granddaughter,”

“You’re Granddaughter-chan, are you? I’ve been hearing a lot about you, you’ve been doing a lot of good work.”

That special aura that important people radiate was making me more nervous than ever.

“No, don’t think I’ve really been doing that much…” I replied falteringly.

“Heheh… Anyway, I look forward to working with you!”

I was a bit worried about the ‘rumours’ he alluded to, but I was in the wrong frame of mind to have a proper conversation.

“The truth is we’re starting a new project down at the UN. I’ve come down to conduct a meeting about it.”

“A new project?” I said, looking nervously at Grandad.

“It’s true. It’s called the Humanity Monument Project. It was planned decades ago bit it ended up in limbo until just recently.”

“It sounds like a big job…”

“It is, Granddaughter-chan. It’s a gigantic undertaking. In fact it’s global in scale.”

Global!?

“We’re hoping to collect the numerous records of our culture and store them in an ultra-high capacity medium, and then house them in a monument so that they can be available to future generations.”

“When you say ‘numerous’, there really is huge amounts of different types of information out there…”

“Yep. We want all of it.”

I was a little overwhelmed at the scale of what he was saying.

“We’re basically wanting a summary of the human race. The monument has to be solid enough to remain once we’re all gone.
If, and when, in the future a new species takes over earth, we need it to be something that can help them along their way.
So we’ll need to pile in as much of our cultural works, science and history as possible, Granddaughter-chan”

Getting called ’Granddaughter-chan’ is getting a little gross.

“It sounds like it’ll be a really difficult plan to carry out…”

All of humanity’s culture, science and history. It’s hard to see it as anything other than a pipe dream.

“Keep in mind that when we say ’all the records’, we mean this as an ideal more that anything.
In reality what the project boils down to is trying to find and then compile as much data as we can.” Grandad added

“Do you mean as paper records?”

“Nope, we’re planning to scrape together all of the storage technology we still have available to us today, and then design a specialised structure to put it in.
We’ll then input all of the information we’ve collected into that structure. And since this will be our monument, it has to be pretty sturdy as well.
At the moment we’re thinking of making it the shape of a monolith.”

By definition, a monolith can be any kind of stone monument, but for some reason or other it’s usually taken to mean a black stone carved into special prism-like shapes.

In this case, the Office Chief probably means the latter.

“Are we going to be carrying this all out with human technology?” I asked hesitantly.

“It’ll likely take more than a few years” Granddad said, grimacing a little.

He’d know this project was a little large in scale for someone who was supposed to be retired.

“What if you were to borrow the Fairies’ power?”

“You think they’d give us something in line with our plan?”

“Very true.”

This time it was my turn to grimace. Fairy Technology is very much focused on what they’re finding fun in a given moment, and not long-term goal-driven behaviour.

“I know that you’re on very good terms with the Fairies. I’ve been hearing rumours of your exploits.”

“Oh no…”

“But I’m sorry to say that this time we’ll be declining your services on the Fairy front. In the first place, this is an undertaking that’s happening worldwide.
However, Kusunoki village is close to a huge amount of city ruins, and I have a professor next to me who has a bounty of knowledge and experience, as well as an unrivalled collection of books on all subjects. Your help will be indispensable for what we’ll be doing.
And then of course we will be counting on your help as well, Granddaughter-chan.”

“Ah, sure.” I said, having trouble keeping up with the eloquence of this official.

The Office Chief continued. “Oh and also, for our investigation of these city ruins, it looks like we’ll be needing a little help from your village on the manpower front.”

“It’ll have to be a very extensive investigation.”

Numerous city ruins of an unknown era, most of which have been eaten into by forests, are known to take tremendous amounts of work to explore, and you’re very unlikely to find anything to make it worth your time.