Hyouka:Drama CD 2 Track 4

Track 4: Hyouka Quest; On to the Classics Club!

Here's a link to the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7R1YsIY3yM&t

Oreki Houtarou: Oh, a letter? It's from my sister. (Reads letter) "Dear......"

Oreki Tomoe: ......Lord Oreki Houtarou. Salutations. I am currently in Zenithia Castle.

Houtarou: Where the heck is that?!

Tomoe: I'm a bit late, but happy sixteenth birthday! As your older sister, I shall give you a piece of advice. Become a hero!

Houtarou: Why should I?

Tomoe: It is a profession steeped in tradition, and it was what our father strove to become. By the way, our father's name is Orte......

Houtarou: I don't remember having a father like that!

Tomoe: Currently, the number of heroes in the world is zero. If we don't have a hero this year, the world will surely end. That's something that we cannot accept. Houtarou, become a hero! It's fine if you just have the word "Hero" in your status.

Houtarou: That kind of world should just burn.

Tomoe: In any case, you got nothing else to do, am I right? Yours sincerely, Oreki Tomoe.

Houtarou: Uwaaaa! (Tears up letter) Hah! Hah! Ahh! My profession has changed to hero! Sis......

Fukube Satoshi: Thus, the hero reluctantly set off on his journey.

Houtarou: Satoshi. I'm not setting off on any journey. Definitely not!

Satoshi: Hey! You aren't supposed to be talking to the storyteller. But Houtarou, if you don't journey around as a hero, the world will be destroyed.

Houtarou: I'm fine with that.

Satoshi: Your words totally belong to the Demon King.

Houtarou: Leave me alone.

Satoshi: But then again, you can't refuse your sister's request, right?

Houtarou: Uh......

Satoshi: It seems fun, so I'll tag alone too. I'm Fukube Satoshi, a storyteller as well as a mage. Look forward to working with you.

Houtarou: Hey, I haven't agreed to......

Satoshi: And thus, the energy conserving hero set off on his journey.

Houtarou: Nnh, the whole world seems to be my enemy.

Satoshi: Come of it, I'm your ally, Houtarou!

Houtarou: You're only here for fun!

Satoshi: Not at all! I was so worried about you going around the world that I couldn't sleep last night! Instead, I watched television while eating snacks.

Houtarou: You're not worried at all!

Satoshi: Anyway, about the name in the status window......

Houtarou: Huh? Name? ......Hey! Why did it become "Houtaru"?!

Satoshi: Didn't you write it yourself?

Houtarou: As if! Is this also because of my sister?!

Satoshi: Ahh, in any case, it seems like it can only fit four characters. Since your real name can't fit, isn't it fine?

Houtarou: Why is it so low-spec?! Also, if I only have four characters, Oreki would be fine too, right?

Satoshi: As expected of your older sister. Hehehe.

Houtarou: Heh. Hehehehehehehe.

Satoshi: What's the matter, Hero Houtarou?

Houtarou: I understand now, Satoshi. Now I just need to go and defeat my sister, then I'll be able to protect my peace and quiet! Wait for me, sis!

Satoshi: Yeah, yeah. Since that won't ever come true, just give up, Houtarou. Now, let's go~~!

Houtarou: Uwa! Oi, let me go, Satoshi! The Demon King of this world is my sister. As long as I don't defeat her, peace will never return!

Satoshi: That's your peace you're talking about. Anyway, leave your sibling quarrel to another world, kay?

Houtarou: Uuhhh! Let me go~~~!

Satoshi: Thus, the Hero Houtaru somehow managed to assemble some comrades.

Chitanda Eru: I am Chitanda, a priestess.

Mayaka Ibara: I'm Mayaka, a martial artist.

Houtarou: Oi, Satoshi. Don't increase my allies with just one line of narration.

Satoshi: I didn't have a choice. We don't have enough time.

Houtarou: Seriously...... So? What do I have to do to be released from this farce?

Satoshi: What a negative hero.

Houtarou: Shut up.

Chitanda: Houtaru-san, we have to break the seal of Hyouka. It is written in the ancient documents that if we do that, peace will reign across the land.

Houtarou: Stop calling me Houtaru. Oreki's fine. Hm? What's Hyouka? Ice cream?

Mayaka: You call yourself a hero?

Houtarou: A hero that was forced to become one!

Satoshi: Hyouka refers to the legendary magical tome.

Chitanda: That's right. If we can only find it......

Houtarou: Where is it?

Satoshi: Hmph. Even a database wouldn't know that.

Mayaka: Hero Houtaru, you're way too lazy.

Houtarou: Enough with the "Houtaru"! Ibara, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Mayaka: Maybe.

(Monster encounter sound plays)

Satoshi: Monster Tougaito appeared.

Tougaito Masashi: Hey, you guys......

Houtarou: Hiya!

Satoshi: Ei!

Tougaito: Uh!

Mayaka: Urya!

Tougaito: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

Satoshi: Houtaru gained 3 gold.

Houtarou: Tsk, that's all, huh.

Satoshi: We live in hard times.

Mayaka: Better than zero, isn't it?

Chitanda: All of you are too cruel!

Houtarou: Even if you say so......

(Monster encounter sound plays)

Satoshi: Monster Tougaito appeared.

Tougaito: You people, you dare to do that to my brothers......

Houtarou: It appeared again.

Chitanda: Everyone, we can't recklessly kill everything!

Houtarou: But if we just ignore him, we won't be able to find out where Hyouka is held, right? Where should we go?

Tougaito: Hyo, Hyouka?!

Houtarou: Hm? You know something?

Tougaito: No, no, don't know anything. (Whistles)

Mayaka: Houtaru, what do you think?

Houtarou: Stop calling me Houtaru, Ibara. No matter how you look at it, he definitely knows something. Is Tougaito an idiot?

Satoshi: That makes him seem so pathetic. Tougaito's a monster that appears at the start, so it has low intelligence.

Houtarou: Satoshi, your way of saying it is more cruel than mine.

Chitanda: I will try to ask him. Tougaito-san, please tell us the location of Hyouka!

Satoshi: It's fine. We can just defeat him and force him to spit it out. Fire magic, Sizz!

Tougaito: Gehiii!!!

Satoshi: What, it only grazed him, huh.

Tougaito: D-Don't suddenly attack like that. I'm your senpai, you know! I don't mean to boast, but I can take three hits from a stick before being defeated!

Houtarou: That's really something you can't boast about......

Tougaito: Damn! What exactly are you people?!

Satoshi: Hey! Hold your head high! The one passing by here is the Hero Houtaru!

Houtarou: My name is Oreki Houtarou!

Tougaito: Tsk! I'll remember this, Houtaru!

Houtarou: It's Houtarou! How many times do you plan to make me correct you?!

Mayaka: Ah! Tougaito has escaped!

Satoshi: Tougaito tried to run, but was surrounded by the heroes, and couldn't escape.

Tougaito: Players aren't supposed to surround monsters!

Mayaka: We won't let you escape! Hehehe...... Acha!

Tougaito: Ahh! It hurts! It hurts!

Satoshi: Oh! Choke Sleeper!

Houtarou: It would be easier if you just hurry up and spill the beans.

Tougaito: I give up! I give up! Uh...... consciousness...... fading......

Chitanda: Ahh! Tougaito-san is...... Give me a moment. Healing magic, Heal!

Tougaito: Huh! My strength is returning! Ah! Again, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Ooh, again, my consciousness......

Chitanda: Ah! He fainted again? Haah...... Heal~

Tougaito: Huh! Ahhh! I give! I give! Please let me off easy......

Satoshi: This is like torture, isn't it?

Houtarou: Indeed, this is quite pitiful. Oi Ibara, release him.

Mayaka: I don't have a choice. Here.

Tougaito: Ahh! Cough, cough. You people...... you...... one day I'll do to you, umm...... that! I'll Q all of you!

Houtarou: His vocabulary is dreadfully low, huh.

Tougaito: Ahhhhhhhh!

Satoshi: Tougaito escaped.

Chitanda: He left. I wonder if he's fine, that Tougaito-san......

Houtarou: I think you were the most cruel back there, Chitanda.

Mayaka: But then we've lost our lead. What do we do?

(Monster encounter sound plays)

Confectionery Research Club Member A: Trick or treat~~~

Confectionery Research Club Member B: Yayyyy!

Houtarou: What is it now?

Satoshi: Confectionery Research Club members A and B appeared.

CRC member A: Trick or treat!

CRC member B: Yayyyy!

Chitanda: Wow! They're so cute! Ahaha! They're pumpkin monsters, right?

Houtarou: Beat it! We have no candy to give you. Go home!

CRC member A: Ehh? But then, but there's a really delicious aroma!

CRC member B: Sniff, sniff. Good smell! Good smell!

Chitanda: Could it be the cookies we were saving for tea?

Houtarou: Oi, you two! You can take these! Horse manure.

CRC member A: Uhh! No thanks!

CRC member B: Eh? Engacho!

Satoshi: What should we do, Houtarou?

Houtarou: Right now, we're trying so hard to find a magical tome with a name that sounds like a snack, so why do have to give snacks to our enemies?

CRC member A: Did he say, "A magical tome with a name that sounds like a snack"?

CRC member B: He did! He did say, ""A magical tome with a name that sounds like a snack".

CRC member A: Then that means he's talking about Hyouka, right?

CRC member B: That means he's talking about Hyouka!

Satoshi: You know it?

CRC member A: No, no. We won't tell you.

CRC member B: That person will bully us, after all.

Houtarou: I'll give you these cookies, so tell us.

CRC member A: Uhhh...... No, no. We can't tell you.

CRC member B: Yeah, that person will bully us.

Satoshi: Who's that person?

CRC member A: Tougaito.

Houtarou: That guy again?

Chitanda: Is there no other way?

CRC member A: Nope- Wow! What's that?! It's so cool!

Mayaka: This? It's a Glock-17.

Houtarou: Is it even possible for a Martial Artist to hold a long-ranged weapon?!

Mayaka: It's important to work hard to improve on your weaknesses.

CRC member A: Wow! Wahh! That's so nice!

Mayaka: I'll give this to you on top of the cookies, so tell us where Hyouka is.

CRC member A: Eh? You're giving it to us?

CRC member B: Great! Hyouka is sealed on a deserted island south of here, boss.

Houtarou: Stay consistent with your character!

Chitanda: Thank you very much, pumpkins!

CRC member A: Pakyuunn!

CRC member B: Yayy! Bye~~~!

Chitanda: Then let's go, everyone!

Satoshi: Now, we've reached the island.

Houtarou: Don't slack off with the narration, Satoshi.

Mayaka: Anyway, wasn't it too quick?

Houtarou: Don't say that, Ibara. An "energy-saving adventure". Doesn't it just have a lovely ring to it?

Mayaka: You're the worst hero ever.

Chitanda: In any case, I wonder where Hyouka is sealed?

Mayaka: Hey! There's a small shrine over there. Could that be it?

(Monster encounter sound plays)

Tougaito: Oi! Who are you, trying to approach the shrine?

Satoshi: Tougaito appeared.

Houtarou: Haahhhhh...... It's you again, Tougaito?

Tougaito: That's my line!

Mayaka: What's with that attitude? Do you want to get Sleeper Choked again?

Tougaito: Eeh! Hmph! Don't think that I'm the same as just now!

Satoshi: That's a death flag you're setting up with those words.

Chitanda: Tougaito-san! The wounds from just now haven't completely healed! Don't push yourself!

Tougaito: It's all your fault that I suffered for so long!

Chitanda: Is that so?

Houtarou: Chitanda. Pay him no heed. It was the correct way to torture someone.

Tougaito: Shut up! Behold my true power!

Satoshi: Tougaito called for help. Tougaito A, B, C, D, E, F appeared.

Houtarou: Eh?! Wha, what?!

Mayaka: Annoying...... That's boundlessly annoying!

Satoshi: What? The Tougaitos are......

(Fusion sound)

Satoshi: King Tougaito appeared.

Chitanda: Ohh! Tougaito-san has grown huge!

Houtarou: Uwa......

Tougaito: What do you think? Scared now? But I won't let you go even if you cry!

Houtarou: It seems like the only change is that he grew bigger, but......

Satoshi: As they say, "the child is father to the man".

Tougaito: Fear me!

Mayaka: Even if you say so...... Well, if you want us to, we'll fight.

Tougaito: Eh? Um, wait......

Satoshi: That's right. We haven't shown him our special magic attack.

Tougaito: I mean, come on......

Chitanda: Most battles cannot be avoided, huh.

Tougaito: Even you?

Houtarou: Time for me to be serious, I think. My target's right in front of my eyes. I won't go easy on you.

Tougaito: Umm, all of you look scary...... Ah, wait, wait, ahhhhhhhhh!

Houtarou: Mayaka, he's heading to you!

Mayaka: I know! Unyaaaaaa!

Tougaito: Eeeeehhh! It seriously hurts------!

Chitanda: Tougaito-san! Heal!

Houtarou: Stop healing each and every enemy, Chitanda!

Satoshi: And thus, at the end of the fierce battle, Tougaito was defeated, and the seal on Hyouka was broken. Peace returned to the world.

Houtarou: Great! Now all of us can return to our everyday lives.

Satoshi: Oh, now that you mention it, another letter from your sister arrived.

Houtarou: From my sister? (Opens letter) I have a bad feeling about this...... Erm, "Dear......"

Oreki Tomoe: ......Lord Oreki Houtarou. Salutations.　I am currently in the Void. As your older sister, I shall give you a piece of advice. Houtarou, protect the Crystals! In any case, you got nothing else to do, am I right? Yours sincerely, Oreki Tomoe!

Houtarou: That's a completely different game!!!

Translator's Notes and References

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