Hyouka:Drama CD 2 Track 4
Track 4: Hyouka Quest; On to the Classics Club!
Here's a link to the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbIm2x7L5k4
Oreki Houtarou: Oh, a letter? It's from my sister. (Reads letter) "Dear......"
Oreki Tomoe: ......Lord Oreki Houtarou. Salutations. I am currently in Zenithia Castle.
Houtarou: Where the heck is that?!
Tomoe: I'm a bit late, but happy sixteenth birthday! As your older sister, I shall give you a piece of advice. Become a hero!
Houtarou: Why should I?
Tomoe: It is a profession steeped in tradition, and it was what our father strove to become. By the way, our father's name is Orte......
Houtarou: I don't remember having a father like that!
Tomoe: Currently, the number of heroes in the world is zero. If we don't have a hero this year, the world will surely end. That's something that we cannot accept. Houtarou, become a hero! It's fine if you just have the word "Hero" in your status.
Houtarou: That kind of world should just burn.
Tomoe: In any case, you got nothing else to do, am I right? Yours sincerely, Oreki Tomoe.
Houtarou: Uwaaaa! (Tears up letter) Hah! Hah! Ahh! My profession has changed to hero! Sis......
Fukube Satoshi: Thus, the hero reluctantly set off on his journey.
Houtarou: Satoshi. I'm not setting off on any journey. Definitely not!
Satoshi: Hey! You aren't supposed to be talking to the storyteller. But Houtarou, if you don't journey around as a hero, the world will be destroyed.
Houtarou: I'm fine with that.
Satoshi: Your words totally belong to the Demon King.
Houtarou: Leave me alone.
Satoshi: But then again, you can't refuse your sister's request, right?
Satoshi: It seems fun, so I'll tag alone too. I'm Fukube Satoshi, a storyteller as well as a mage. Look forward to working with you.
Houtarou: Hey, I haven't agreed to......
Satoshi: And thus, the energy conserving hero set off on his journey.
Houtarou: Nnh, the whole world seems to be my enemy.
Satoshi: Come of it, I'm your ally, Houtarou!
Houtarou: You're only here for fun!
Satoshi: Not at all! I was so worried about you going around the world that I couldn't sleep last night! Instead, I watched television while eating snacks.
Houtarou: You're not worried at all!
Satoshi: Anyway, about the name in the status window......
Houtarou: Huh? Name? ......Hey! Why did it become "Houtaru"?!
Satoshi: Didn't you write it yourself?
Houtarou: As if! Is this also because of my sister?!
Satoshi: Ahh, in any case, it seems like it can only fit four characters. Since your real name can't fit, isn't it fine?
Houtarou: Why is it so low-spec?! Also, if I only have four characters, Oreki would be fine too, right?
Satoshi: As expected of your older sister. Hehehe.
Houtarou: Heh. Hehehehehehehe.
Satoshi: What's the matter, Hero Houtarou?
Houtarou: I understand now, Satoshi. Now I just need to go and defeat my sister, then I'll be able to protect my peace and quiet! Wait for me, sis!
Satoshi: Yeah, yeah. Since that won't ever come true, just give up, Houtarou. Now, let's go~~!
Houtarou: Uwa! Oi, let me go, Satoshi! The Demon King of this world is my sister. As long as I don't defeat her, peace will never return!
Satoshi: That's your peace you're talking about. Anyway, leave your sibling quarrel to another world, kay?
Houtarou: Uuhhh! Let me go~~~!
Satoshi: Thus, the Hero Houtaru somehow managed to assemble some comrades.
Chitanda Eru: I am Chitanda, a priestess.
Mayaka Ibara: I'm Mayaka, a martial artist.
Houtarou: Oi, Satoshi. Don't increase my allies with just one line of narration.
Satoshi: I didn't have a choice. We don't have enough time.
Houtarou: Seriously...... So? What do I have to do to be released from this farce?
Satoshi: What a negative hero.
Houtarou: Shut up.
Chitanda: Houtaru-san, we have to break the seal of Hyouka. It is written in the ancient documents that if we do that, peace will reign across the land.
Houtarou: Stop calling me Houtaru. Oreki's fine. Hm? What's Hyouka? Ice cream?
Mayaka: You call yourself a hero?
Houtarou: A hero that was forced to become one!
Satoshi: Hyouka refers to the legendary magical tome.
Chitanda: That's right. If we can only find it......
Houtarou: Where is it?
Satoshi: Hmph. Even a database wouldn't know that.
Mayaka: Hero Houtaru, you're way too lazy.
Houtarou: Enough with the "Houtaru"! Ibara, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
(Monster encounter sound plays)
Satoshi: Monster Tougaito appeared.
Tougaito Masashi: Hey, you guys......
Satoshi: Houtaru gained 3 gold.
Houtarou: Tsk, that's all, huh.
Satoshi: We live in hard times.
Mayaka: Better than zero, isn't it?
Chitanda: All of you are too cruel!
Houtarou: Even if you say so......
(Monster encounter sound plays)
Satoshi: Monster Tougaito appeared.
Tougaito: You people, you dare to do that to my brothers......
Houtarou: It appeared again.
Chitanda: Everyone, we can't recklessly kill everything!
Houtarou: But if we just ignore him, we won't be able to find out where Hyouka is held, right? Where should we go?
Tougaito: Hyo, Hyouka?!
Houtarou: Hm? You know something?
Tougaito: No, no, don't know anything. (Whistles)
Mayaka: Houtaru, what do you think?
Houtarou: Stop calling me Houtaru, Ibara. No matter how you look at it, he definitely knows something. Is Tougaito an idiot?
Satoshi: That makes him seem so pathetic. Tougaito's a monster that appears at the start, so it has low intelligence.
Houtarou: Satoshi, your way of saying it is more cruel than mine.
Chitanda: I will try to ask him. Tougaito-san, please tell us the location of Hyouka!
Satoshi: It's fine. We can just defeat him and force him to spit it out. Fire magic, Sizz!
Satoshi: What, it only grazed him, huh.
Tougaito: D-Don't suddenly attack like that. I'm your senpai, you know! I don't mean to boast, but I can take three hits from a stick before being defeated!
Houtarou: That's really something you can't boast about......
Tougaito: Damn! What exactly are you people?!
Satoshi: Hey! Hold your head high! The one passing by here is the Hero Houtaru!
Houtarou: My name is Oreki Houtarou!
Tougaito: Tsk! I'll remember this, Houtaru!
Houtarou: It's Houtarou! How many times do you plan to make me correct you?!
Mayaka: Ah! Tougaito has escaped!
Satoshi: Tougaito tried to run, but was surrounded by the heroes, and couldn't escape.
Tougaito: Players aren't supposed to surround monsters!
Mayaka: We won't let you escape! Hehehe...... Acha!
Tougaito: Ahh! It hurts! It hurts!
Satoshi: Oh! Choke Sleeper!
Houtarou: It would be easier if you just hurry up and spill the beans.
Tougaito: I give up! I give up! Uh...... consciousness...... fading......
Chitanda: Ahh! Tougaito-san is...... Give me a moment. Healing magic, Heal!
Tougaito: Huh! My strength is returning! Ah! Again, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Ooh, again, my consciousness......
Chitanda: Ah! He fainted again? Haah...... Heal~
Tougaito: Huh! Ahhh! I give! I give! Please let me off easy......
Satoshi: This is like torture, isn't it?
Houtarou: Indeed, this is quite pitiful. Oi Ibara, release him.
Mayaka: I don't have a choice. Here.
Tougaito: Ahh! Cough, cough. You people...... you...... one day I'll do to you, umm...... that! I'll Q all of you!
Houtarou: His vocabulary is dreadfully low, huh.
Satoshi: Tougaito escaped.
Chitanda: He left. I wonder if he's fine, that Tougaito-san......
Houtarou: I think you were the most cruel back there, Chitanda.
Mayaka: But then we've lost our lead. What do we do?
(Monster encounter sound plays)
Confectionery Research Club Member A: Trick or treat~~~
Confectionery Research Club Member B: Yayyyy!
Houtarou: What is it now?
Satoshi: Confectionery Research Club members A and B appeared.
CRC member A: Trick or treat!
CRC member B: Yayyyy!
Chitanda: Wow! They're so cute! Ahaha! They're pumpkin monsters, right?
Houtarou: Beat it! We have no candy to give you. Go home!
CRC member A: Ehh? But then, but there's a really delicious aroma!
CRC member B: Sniff, sniff. Good smell! Good smell!
Chitanda: Could it be the cookies we were saving for tea?
Houtarou: Oi, you two! You can take these! Horse manure.
CRC member A: Uhh! No thanks!
CRC member B: Eh? Engacho!
Satoshi: What should we do, Houtarou?
Houtarou: Right now, we're trying so hard to find a magical tome with a name that sounds like a snack, so why do have to give snacks to our enemies?
CRC member A: Did he say, "A magical tome with a name that sounds like a snack"?
CRC member B: He did! He did say, ""A magical tome with a name that sounds like a snack".
CRC member A: Then that means he's talking about Hyouka, right?
CRC member B: That means he's talking about Hyouka!
Satoshi: You know it?
CRC member A: No, no. We won't tell you.
CRC member B: That person will bully us, after all.
Houtarou: I'll give you these cookies, so tell us.
CRC member A: Uhhh...... No, no. We can't tell you.
CRC member B: Yeah, that person will bully us.
Satoshi: Who's that person?
CRC member A: Tougaito.
Houtarou: That guy again?
Chitanda: Is there no other way?
CRC member A: Nope- Wow! What's that?! It's so cool!
Mayaka: This? It's a Glock-17.
Houtarou: Is it even possible for a Martial Artist to hold a long-ranged weapon?!
Mayaka: It's important to work hard to improve on your weaknesses.
CRC member A: Wow! Wahh! That's so nice!
Mayaka: I'll give this to you on top of the cookies, so tell us where Hyouka is.
CRC member A: Eh? You're giving it to us?
CRC member B: Great! Hyouka is sealed on a deserted island south of here, boss.
Houtarou: Stay consistent with your character!
Chitanda: Thank you very much, pumpkins!
CRC member A: Pakyuunn!
CRC member B: Yayy! Bye~~~!
Chitanda: Then let's go, everyone!
Satoshi: Now, we've reached the island.
Houtarou: Don't slack off with the narration, Satoshi.
Mayaka: Anyway, wasn't it too quick?
Houtarou: Don't say that, Ibara. An "energy-saving adventure". Doesn't it just have a lovely ring to it?
Mayaka: You're the worst hero ever.
Chitanda: In any case, I wonder where Hyouka is sealed?
Mayaka: Hey! There's a small shrine over there. Could that be it?
(Monster encounter sound plays)
Tougaito: Oi! Who are you, trying to approach the shrine?
Satoshi: Tougaito appeared.
Houtarou: Haahhhhh...... It's you again, Tougaito?
Tougaito: That's my line!
Mayaka: What's with that attitude? Do you want to get Sleeper Choked again?
Tougaito: Eeh! Hmph! Don't think that I'm the same as just now!
Satoshi: That's a death flag you're setting up with those words.
Chitanda: Tougaito-san! The wounds from just now haven't completely healed! Don't push yourself!
Tougaito: It's all your fault that I suffered for so long!
Chitanda: Is that so?
Houtarou: Chitanda. Pay him no heed. It was the correct way to torture someone.
Tougaito: Shut up! Behold my true power!
Satoshi: Tougaito called for help. Tougaito A, B, C, D, E, F appeared.
Houtarou: Eh?! Wha, what?!
Mayaka: Annoying...... That's boundlessly annoying!
Satoshi: What? The Tougaitos are......
Satoshi: King Tougaito appeared.
Chitanda: Ohh! Tougaito-san has grown huge!
Tougaito: What do you think? Scared now? But I won't let you go even if you cry!
Houtarou: It seems like the only change is that he grew bigger, but......
Satoshi: As they say, "the child is father to the man".
Tougaito: Fear me!
Mayaka: Even if you say so...... Well, if you want us to, we'll fight.
Tougaito: Eh? Um, wait......
Satoshi: That's right. We haven't shown him our special magic attack.
Tougaito: I mean, come on......
Chitanda: Most battles cannot be avoided, huh.
Tougaito: Even you?
Houtarou: Time for me to be serious, I think. My target's right in front of my eyes. I won't go easy on you.
Tougaito: Umm, all of you look scary...... Ah, wait, wait, ahhhhhhhhh!
Houtarou: Mayaka, he's heading to you!
Mayaka: I know! Unyaaaaaa!
Tougaito: Eeeeehhh! It seriously hurts------!
Chitanda: Tougaito-san! Heal!
Houtarou: Stop healing each and every enemy, Chitanda!
Satoshi: And thus, at the end of the fierce battle, Tougaito was defeated, and the seal on Hyouka was broken. Peace returned to the world.
Houtarou: Great! Now all of us can return to our everyday lives.
Satoshi: Oh, now that you mention it, another letter from your sister arrived.
Houtarou: From my sister? (Opens letter) I have a bad feeling about this...... Erm, "Dear......"
Oreki Tomoe: ......Lord Oreki Houtarou. Salutations. I am currently in the Void. As your older sister, I shall give you a piece of advice. Houtarou, protect the Crystals! In any case, you got nothing else to do, am I right? Yours sincerely, Oreki Tomoe!
Houtarou: That's a completely different game!!!
Translator's Notes and References
- ↑ Location in Dragon Quest IV.
- ↑ Refers to Ortega, father of the hero in Dragon Question III.
- ↑ In Volume 2, Chapter 8, when Houtarou logged into a chatroom, he mispelled his username as "Houtaru".
- ↑ ほうたろう (Houtarou) contains five characters.
- ↑ おれき (Oreki) contains three characters.
- ↑ This is actually an item in Dragon Quest IV. I have yet to find out what it's used for.
- ↑ In Japan, kids say this while crossing their fingers to "ward off dirt".
- ↑ Some slimes in Dragon Quest can pile up and fuse to form a King Slime.
- ↑ This means that even if someone grows older, his personality will not change.
- ↑ Recurring location in the Final Fantasy series.
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