Kamisama no Memochou:Volume 1 Chapter 4
I looked at the sign, which was just a piece of coarse, white paper with ‘No Entry’ written on it, that was stuck onto the door of the rooftop, and suddenly thought of something meaningless. Some people say that there are some things in life that can’t be restored, and there are some people who don’t think so, but I would unquestionably support the former. If the ‘something that can’t be restored’ refers to death, the ‘something that can’t be restored’ theory can’t be established. Why is that? That’s because the moment when a person dies, does not count as his or her life anymore.
But what about the deaths of other people? Are those things that could not be restored as well? Indeed, humans cannot revive from their death, so the emptiness that is formed in one’s heart is filled by some other people or things; or they can close their own heart, sealing it with tape. As for the people who couldn’t do that, they would choose to commit suicide, so life truly does not have things that can’t be restored. If it was me from last week, I might have already let go, but after seeing a person who can’t even die, I learnt a terrible lesson.
There are only things that couldn’t be restored in life.
Although I don’t really know if it’s right or not.
The only thing that I could make sure of is, the door to the rooftop has already been locked up. It seemed that the rooftop is being temporarily sealed off. The rooftop where Ayaka jumped off of was not the rooftop of the south school building where we tended to the plants, but the north school building in the opposite direction, but that’s not the point.
I turned the handle, gave up on opening the door to the rooftop, and went down the stairs. I’m probably just not suited to being a detective. For a more capable person, they would probably think of a way to borrow the keys to the rooftop, or even just climb up the pipes to reach their destination!
A detective’s assistant.
The employment contract between Alice and I was established the second day. Alice called me over and asked me to tell her everything I know about Ayaka. Geez, she’s such an inconsiderate person. After suffering for an hour, Alice said in a straightforward manner:
“Okay, I get it. All the clues have been tied up.”
So what’s the answer? But Alice refused to tell me.
“What I know now is the truth, not the facts!” Alice’s words had me at a loss.
“The truth and the facts…… What’s the difference?”
“Really, to put it bluntly it’s just my intuition. It’s enough if I alone knew the truth, but my pride does not allow me to just report the truth to my clients.”
“Hmmm…… Is it because you don’t have evidence yet?”
“Well, that’s the case in short. So that’s why I told you to help do the chores around here, which is your payment for the information by labor work. If I told you about the information right now, doesn’t that mean that I don’t get an equal payment? If you want to gloss through the facts, and only want to know the truth, you could just investigate it yourself! Go! Just work hard like a mule that had it’s eyes covered!”
The scene when Alice held my hand with tears in her eyes was like a scam. Today she used her usual tone and said to me:
“Just continue your activities in the Gardening Club as usual and observe closely where Ayaka had been. That’s your first job.”
That was why I continued to walk to the garden.
There was not even one person at the courtyard after school. It might be because it’s near the exams, or it might because it’s the winter right now, but another reason would be the large, black stains spread on the ground between the garden and the school buildings. I stood beside the black stains and looked for awhile. It was the first time I saw with my own eyes the true feeling of death, and it was still present at the scene. Rain or snow might wash it away eventually, but right now the stains are still on the ground.
There’s nothing else.
What could you do with this kind of thing? Alice had already explained that she’d already understood the reason for Ayaka committing suicide, but a will couldn’t be found, the police were staying silent, while the magazines were just targeting Ayaka’s family that couldn’t be said as favorable. The things that other people could not see, could you see them from the small room that was full of machines?
Just thinking about this is meaningless, so I walked towards my final destination— the greenhouse behind the school building. That was Ayaka’s holy ground. I borrowed the keys to the greenhouse from the staffroom, and the strong smell of grass came upon me as soon as I opened the door.
The area of the floor was about twice as big as my room, and was about twelve tatamis big. The greenhouse looked somewhat desolate, I only saw a row of wilting tropical plants arranged on a rack, not even flowering. Probably someone sorted out the place after Ayaka commited suicide?
When I raised my head, I saw pipes interlacing on the ceiling, and there were something that looked like a sprinkler. They probably spray fertilizers or water automatically? There were also additional lighting equipments. This is obviously just a normal high school, so why is there such an advanced greenhouse? Is the school budget that big?
I sat down on the lower part of a rack and leaned against the empty rack. I closed my eyes, allowing my body to sink into the smell of the soil that was like warm water.
We couldn’t find Toshio, and Ayaka was not even here anymore. There’s only me left in the place that belonged to us, while only the drug addicts who were hospitalized or arrested increased gradually.
My phone that was in my pocket suddenly rang. I was startled, and bumped my head on the rack on top of my head.
‘It’s me. Are you working seriously? You aren’t lying down thinking about meaningless things over and over again, are you? Although I’m a NEET, I’m very strict regarding other people’s laziness, so please remember that.’
A young girl’s voice came from the other side of the phone. I couldn’t help but look around the greenhouse. There aren’t any surveillance cameras over here, are there?”
‘You’re probably still at school right now, right?’
“…… Yeah, I’m in the greenhouse. I followed your instructions to closely observe the greenhouse.”
‘Good. I want to confirm something with you, is there two entrances to the greenhouse?’
I stood up. Two entrances?
At the opposite of the door that I came in from, there is indeed another identical steel door.
Why did Alice know about this? Is having two doors in a greenhouse that common? Or did she find out about that by searching the internet?
“Open the other door.”
“But it’s a wall at the other side of the door!”
The greenhouse was at a corner of the school, and looked as if it’s squeezed by the surrounding walls.
‘Do you think I don’t even know about something like that? Stop that nonsense, and just do it.”
Opening the lock, a deep ‘dong’ sound came right after I turned the handle. I could only open it for about ten centimeters or so.
“Can’t open it!”
‘…… Do you hear it? Yeah, it should probably be at that part…… A plank? It’s probably just that, right?’
Alice suddenly said some incomprehensible words, and her voice sounded somewhat far. Ah, she might be talking with some other people. When I was thinking about meaningless stuff again, the door suddenly opened. Holding the handle, I was dragged forward and almost fell down.
Outside the door was a silhouette. Raising my head, I crossed eyes with the sharp gaze of a beast, and my mind went blank momentarily.
It was Yondaime.
Why is it Yondaime? And why did the door open?
Did something happen? I really don’t understand.
Holding a phone, Yondaime said: “The door’s open, yeah, that’s right. Hmm…… No, they’ve been cleared away, nothing left. To continue tailing is just a waste of time.” I did just hear Yondaime’s answering voice just now.
‘Then it’s up to you after this. There’s probably a surprised Narumi sprawled on the ground, so please explain things to him, I’m really busy, you know.’
“He- Heyhey, Alice!”
The voice stopped coming from Yondaime’s phone. After a moment, there was an uncomfortable silence between Yondaime and I. Yondaime walked into the greenhouse after tch-ing, and I hastily stepped aside. Even then, Yondaime just glared at me, not saying anything. I shifted my gaze and looked outside the door, finally solving the mystery that was in front of me.
A tower-shaped wooden signboard and dirty tombstones covered with dust could be seen at the other side of the door— it was the graveyard beside the school. The wall that was close to the entrance of the greenhouse fell coincidentally, and was only blocked by a large plank.
But why did Alice know of this shortcut? Also, why did Yondaime appear here?
Yondaime ignored me, and used his phone to take photos of the interior of the greenhouse.
“Yondaime, why are you here?”
“Don’t call me Yondaime.”
“Err, then should I call you Sou-san?”
“When did you become a part of our group?”
‘Narumi, Yondaime’s surname is Hinamura, so you can just call him Hina. He’ll be thrilled.”
Uwaah, Alice didn’t hang up on me yet. With a ferocious expression, Yondaime snatched my phone and hung up on Alice. I though that he would just crush my phone.
“…… Hi- Hina?” “I’ll kill you!” Yondaime stuffed my phone into my mouth. What is this guy doing!
“Your job is to open the lock of the greenhouse, right? Just get out of here since you’ve done your job.”
Facing Yondaime’s comment, I could only stare.
“…… What’s with that?”
“Didn’t Alice say anything to you?”
Feeling miserable, I nodded. Yondaime heaved a long sigh.
“Then think about it clearly.”
The connection between Yondaime and Ayaka……
…… is Toshio. Only Toshio, and Angel Fix.
Then, did Ayaka commit suicide because of Toshio? But what’s their connection with the greenhouse? Fragments of my memories swirled around in my mind, just like a puzzle that couldn’t be completed.
“Wait, please wait!”
I hurriedly called Yondaime who was about to walk out of the greenhouse. Yondaime turned around, his wolfish eyes looking even more vicious.
“…… Is Ayaka related to the drug? Why, is there—“
“Of course they’re related, you idiot! If it’s not because of that thing, you could still continue your peaceful activities of the Gardening Club. Can’t you see that something was wrong if things didn’t happen?”
I didn’t know how to answer him.
The door to the cemetery slammed shut, leaving me alone in the greenhouse along with the warm heat of the plants.
Is it because of the drug? Did Ayaka fall into a coma because of the detestable pink pills? Why? Is it because Toshio did something?
It was all the fault of Angel Fix.
No matter how I pondered, there was no progress. I gave up on thinking, went back to the staffroom and returned the key. When I was about to walk out of the staffroom, Sayuri-sensei called me.
“Although I know that it’s not appropriate asking you about this right now, but what are you going to do concerning the Gardening Club?”
“What to do?”
“After all…… something like this happened, so you’re the remaining member of the club.”
Ahh, that’s right. I recalled the day when I met Ayaka, and our promise.
“Of course, I would hope that you could continue, and would ask other students if they’re interested in joining. Some teachers also said that the garden must have someone tending to them.”
I was silent, in a deep thought. To be honest, I don’t know a thing about gardening, so if I must continue club activities alone until April, when recruiting starts, it’s impossible. But I didn’t want to just let the garden and greenhouse stay bare, because those places belonged to Ayaka.
Even if she’s not coming back anymore.
It seemed that Sayuri-sensei misunderstood my silence.
“Sorry for suddenly asking you about things like this. You probably have your own thoughts about it. If you don’t want to continue joining the club, I wouldn’t force you to.”
“Err……”
Sayuri-sensei had already been a teacher for five years now. Even though she’s single, there are rumors circulating her as she looked extremely pretty. Giving out a charming expression with her bright eyes is her weapon. Being stared at with this look, I surrendered.
“It’s not that I don’t want to continue……”
“Really?”
A relieved expression appeared on Sayuri-sensei’s face.
“Those are Shinozaki’s precious flowers, so I hope that we can leave them alone. Additionally, the flowers in the greenhouse are about to bloom……”
…… About to bloom?
“Almost all of the plants in the greenhouse have disappeared, aren’t they disposed of by you?”
Sayuri-sensei’s eyes turned round.
“Disappeared? Really?”
She balanced her pen on her lower lip and thought for awhile.
“Could it be Shinozaki who disposed of them?”
Ayaka disposed of them?
It might be because of that, for taking care……Wait, that’s not right……
I recalled the words that Yondaime have said. He said while talking to Alice on the phone: “They were cleared away.”
Ayaka and the greenhouse.
Toshio.
Angel Fix.
The fragments in my mind started to piece together.
It was January when I rode my bike to the ramen shop in a frenzy, while the sun have set quickly. Looking past the red rays bathing the curtains, there were not even one customer in the shop. I rode my bike until I collided with the plastic barrel behind the shop, balanced my bike on the wall and ran to the stairs.
Just when I was about to run upstairs, Min-san called me from the kitchen.
“Come in and sit down.”
“I’m busy right now.”
“Stop blabbering and sit down, or I’ll hit you.”
Because Min-san was waving her soup ladle vigorously, I went into the shop obediently and sat on the seat in front of the counter.
Min-san plopped a paper cup in front of me, a pomelo smoothie. The sour taste prickled my brain like frozen needles. It was as though the warmth of my body was absorbed by the smoothie, and then a mild spiciness came upon me, quite a mysterious flavor. I suddenly remembered that it was winter right now, and my body started to shiver.
“I’ve put ginger in the smoothie.”
“Oh……” As she said, it was the spiciness of ginger. Surprisingly, the taste of pomelos and ginger blend quite well together……
“It’s a dessert made specially for winter that makes the body feel warm.”
Min-san smiled triumphantly, puffing up her sarashi-bound chest.
“My dad was an outdoor sports type of person who lived on due to his determination. He used to take me to snowy mountains or to swim in ice cold water, so I usually depended on chewing raw ginger used for cooking soup to support myself.” …… Was she training to become a ninja?
“But I’m actually not that good at swimming when I was little.”
“Eh?”
“What’s with that expression, everyone has something that they’re not good at, don’t they?”
Well, that’s not really wrong, but I absolutely can’t imagine how Min-san looked like when she was little.
“A person who can’t swim always flails in the water when drowning, right? I always got scolded by dad because of this. Don’t move if you don’t know how to swim, and you’ll float naturally. But for a person who’s drowning, you can’t think of these things.”
At that moment Min-san stopped and stared at me. That was when I realized that Min-san was lecturing me, although she didn’t say so clearly.
My brain calmed down.
Indeed, I wanted to see Alice just minutes before, driven by impulse, and to grab the pajamas-clad girl by her throat and tell her to explain things clearly. But I am completely unsure of what to ask, as I haven’t even thought about it. What an idiot I am.
I shoulders sagged. A person who can’t swim could just not move and could float naturally, but what should I do?
“Min-san……”
“Hmm?” Min-san who was cutting onions stopped and raised her head.
“About…… Ayaka not being here, what do you think about it?”
“Are you an idiot? You don’t need to ask another person’s opinion for this.”
Min-san’s voice seemed as if she was really angry.
“If I tell you that I would go and visit her, crying my eyes out, would you feel that you would do that too? If I tell you that I feel okay about it, would you feel that it’s okay if you didn’t do anything?”
Min-san’s words were like Yondaime’s fist, heavily pushing against my abdomen. I lowered my head while holding the cup of ice cream and felt that I kept repeating the same stupid thing these few months, surprising the other people.
I lowered my head and stood up.
“I’m going to Alice’s office for awhile.”
“Okay.”
Min-san’s outstretched hands appeared before my eyes. She placed a paper cup that was closed with a lid— a pomelo smoothie like what I’ve just eaten just now.
“Take it to that girl, I think she’s in a bad mood today too.”
As Min-san have guessed, Alice looked terrible. It was a cold month, but the air-conditioner was still going strong. Empty cans of Dr. Pepper were stacked in front of her bed like a beehive. The bed was led by Mocha Bear (Yondaime used his professional skills to fix the ears on again), while an army of other dolls and plushies surrounded her. A cooling paste was stuck onto her forehead, while black circles appeared below her eyes.
“How courageous you are, coming into my territory wearing thick clothes like a Russian soldier. I’ll give you two choices, take off the sports get-up that makes people feel hot as soon as they see it, or you can get out of my room.”
“…… I want to ask you every time, why do you make your room feel so cold?”
“Are the things that are at the two sides of your head handles used for moving? I’m asking if you’re going to get out or to take them off!”
I glumly took off my sports jacket. Brrrrrr, it’s so cold. Alice waved at the wall that was full of machines.
“My eyes and ears would give off heat so long as they could move. Compared to the eternal darkness and silence, what’s a little coldness going to do.
“But I think that humans do not need to work in coordination with that.”
My teeth clattered while I was answering due to the cold.
“How arrogant. You’re really a surprisingly self-centered human, and couldn’t be helped at all. Do you want the environment to cooperate with humans? That is a stupid behaviour. According to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and Gödel’s incompleteness theorem, from the moment when humans lost to God, they found that changing themselves would be better than using philosophy or natural science to change the world. Everyone have already changed direction, but you alone are still standing in a sinking ship, blankly waving the flag of an alchemist. That’s rare. If I made your life into a movie, we’d probably get all the prizes.”
“Argh……”
Hehe, so I’m an arrogant and self-centered human. So that’s it, I’ve just noticed when Alice said that about me. Although all of that just sounded like Alice making excuses, I’ve already surrendered to the coldness and Alice’s articulate debates.
“Okay, sorry. I’ll even take off the sweater, okay?”
Alice widened her eyes.
“…… What an oddball you are. An air conditioner is obviously one of the assets that humans use for the nature to coordinate with humans, but why did you give up on debating so quickly? You could at least say that I’m the one who’s self-centered.”
“No……”
I’ve suddenly realized that I feel better after Alice scolded me, and could not help but feel somewhat impatient. I’m a hopeless cause.
“I’m somewhat tired right now, so I don’t have the energy to rebuke you.”
As Alice started to talk again, I hurriedly handed the smoothie to her so that she would shut up.
After opening the lid, Alice’s eyes sparkled because of the sweet fragrance of the pamelo, but right after she ate a mouthful, she made a ‘Wuwu~’ noise, and her eyes squinted into a straight line.
“What is it?”
“It’s spicy……”
Alice said with tears in her eyes. Is it so spicy that it could make people cry?
“Master is so impressive……. An amazingness that even I could not predict…… Wuwu……~”
“Are you okay?”
“…… I’m alright. It’s just too tasty, I’m going to eat them all up!”
Alice ate the smoothie with her mouth pouting, looking like she wanted to cry out. Her whole body contorted for each mouthful that she had.
“Don’t force yourself to do it. I’ll eat up the rest of them for you.”
“Why are you so greedy! You’ve already ate some downstairs, but you still want to eat up my share. I won’t even give you one mouthful.”
Alice stuck out her tongue at me, then used ten minutes to eat them all up. It seemed that the spiciness still lingered on her tongue even after she finished eating it. Alice pouted, her eyes almost squinted into a line. She waved her hands while sitting on the carpet like she wanted to say something, so I took out a can of Dr. Pepper and handed it to her.
After drinking the whole can of Dr. Pepper in one gulp, Alice sighed, and seemed like her mood’s much better.
“As my assistant, it seems that you’ve accumulated much experience. You could even finish your main job without even me saying anything. Your performance as an assistant is passable like this.”
“So the main job of an assistant is to get Dr. Pepper……”
“Do you think that I’m wrong about this?”
No, it’s clear what you’re going to say!
“So next, let’s solve your problem! Yondaime probably didn’t explain anything to you, so just ask if you have any questions! Although I might not answer you.”
Then what does this count as?
I sank into deep thought. Indeed, I would be taken as an idiot by Alice no matter what I ask, and might not answer me. But sometimes, not answering is also an answer.
And also……
I’m not always fumbling in the dark.
“Don’t you have something you wanted to ask me?”
Alice bent her knees, placed her chin on them and tilted her head.
“I’m thinking of what to ask you.”
“Well, that’s some growth!”
That’s probably because of Min-san’s pamelo smoothie. If I straightaway rushed in here, and said whatever I thought, Alice would probably make me as an idiot again.
I thought for a long time and said:
“Can you give me a copy of the information about Angel Fix? The one with the photos.”
The smile vanished from Alice’s face. She didn’t answer at first, and the room was just filled with the sound of the cooling fan of the CPUs. I thought in instinct: Ahh, I’ve asked the right question. At the same time, I felt as if my heart was stuffed to the bottom of my shoes.
Finally, Alice muttered:
“Are you mentally prepared to dig the grave of the deceased?”
I—
nodded slightly.
Alice showed me her sad eyes, nodded and answered me.
“I understand, here’s the information. But before I give it to you, there’s something I need to ask you.”
Being an assistant needs a heavy price. Alice sat on her bed and beckoned at me. Eh? Wait a sec? To the bed? Is she telling me to get on her bed?
“What are you dilly-dallying for? Are your hands so long that you could press the keyboard from there?”
“…… Keyboard?”
“The job that I’m requesting you to do requires the use of a computer, so I’m asking you to come over here.”
“Ah, oh……”
So that my embarrassing misunderstanding would not be found out, I turned around and stood up.
“Err, may I get on your bed?”
“Just hurry up.”
On the blanket, I politely shifted over to Alice’s side by using my knees. Being on the same bed as a girl, that makes me really nervous.
“You’re good at editing photos, right? Then I’ll hand this picture to you.”
Alice pointed at the bottom of her screen. She had opened Photoshop, and a young man with a sharp chin was shown on the screen.
“Editing?”
“That’s right, because this information is going to be photocopied and distributed. Haven’t you heard of it before? Humans don’t remember things by their original appearance, so a person would have a stronger impression on something if the facial features are more emphasized. It’s the same with a portrait.”
Ahhh, I think I’ve heard of that before. My gaze fell on the screen again.
At that moment, a chill crept up my back. I’ve saw this man before. But where?
“…… Who is this guy?”
“His name is Shirou Hakamizaka, a researcher.”
I stared at Alice in surprise. Hakamizaka?
I looked at the screen again. A sharp chin, a face that looks intellectual, this probably came from a driving license or something, huh? There isn’t even the hint of a smile on his face. I tried to put on a pair of frameless glasses in my mind…… I’ve got it! That’s right, on the day that Toshio disappeared, I spotted this guy who makes people feel uneasy near the zebra crossings.
“He enrolled into T Medical University seven years ago, not in Pharmacy, but Life Schiences. It’s somewhat strange if you say that it’s a subject for researching genetic inheritance. I’ve heard that his results are quite good, and even went to Iran to study abroad. He probably found that there.”
Found? Found what?
“That’s it!”
Alice handed a pile of papers to me, and the photo of a red flower was on the topmost paper. It was the papers that I saw that time.
“Originally, the flowers on the photo isn’t that rare, and wouldn’t have any medical effects, so Hakamizak probably found its mutated variety. At the research centre, we found it from plants that had similar alkaloids. This is the payment for your labor, I’ll just give it to you first! So let’s ignore the information for now……”
“The people that are related to this incident is not only Hakamizaka, I’ve thoroughly investigated the people that might have relations with him. I’m not sure if every one of them are related with the drug, but anyways, this is a family business-type drug organization. Hakamizaka’s fater is a powerful second-generation politician, so their modal probably comes from Hakamizaka’s usual pocket money. I’ve investigated the assets under his father’s name, but couldn’t find their current location yet. It’s both thoughtful and daring, a mere researcher starting from zero, looking for people online, nurturing the raw material, manufacturing, and then selling them cheaply. This is why they haven’t been caught right until now.”
Alice enlarged the other windows for me. Most of them are not taken from the front, and are parts of a group photo or some very unclear photos.
“Where did you find all this?”
“I’ve already said that I’m a NEET detective, right? The hardest thing was to find out Shirou Hakamizaka’s phone number, while the others were a cinch.”
I was taken aback. So she DOES know how to check phone logs?
“So you’re really a hacker……”
“I’m not a hacker. A hacker is originally a name the students in Massachusetts Institute of Technology gave to the people who does large pranks. What you’re saying is probably a cracker who steals information. I’m different from a cracker, which I’ve told you a lot of times. I’m a NEET detective. So stop that nonsense and turn your attention to the screen.”
Alice caught hold of my face and turned my head to the computer screen.
I wouldn’t mistake the person on the last screen, it’s Toshio. With the same eyes as Ayaka, the same outline as Ayaka, I almost cried out loud. Even though I knew that from the start……. Even though I knew that from the start……
“Are you…… sure?”
In the end I still asked. Alice answered me with a gentle voice:
“We’re not sure yet. The world that I can see is only the limited scenes of the limitless small windows on the network. In chance, Toshio bumped into Hakamizaka at a drug discussing website, and then became friends. Toshio might have just gotten the Angel Fix straight from Hakamizaka, and did not take part in the manufacturing or dealing of the drug. I cannot deny the possibility of this.”
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