Tsukumodo:Volume 1 Memories and Notes

The word memory means "retaining past experience in mind", while the scientific definition reads "storing outside information within the human body by copying it into the synapses of the biological neural network".

Well, my memory power does not improve just because I knew that.

If we talk of what happens if one's memory power is bad, well, the result of the exams becomes a very unpleasant affair.

Unlike the nationwide mock exams that test your knowledge, the midterms and finals test if you listened carefully to the classes.

I don't really want to have good grades. I'm satisfied as long as I can avoid supplementary exams. For that target, it's enough to memorize all of the school books.

Well, but that's exactly what's so terrible and hard to pull off.

Are there no easier ways of remembering things?

Come to think of it, I once heard a story according to which you can remember anything you write on a note if you eat the sheet. I once tried it out before an exam.

...I got an upset stomach and had an awful time.

Why do I address this subject?

Well, because a teacher, who can have hardly finished marking our exams already, made a certain remark when I was leaving.

"The supplementary exam will cover the same, so prepare yourself accordingly."

All right, today's dinner is a bunch of notes.

Just how do I obtain these...?

I wonder if copies do count as well?

◆

My mother passed away right after she had been transported to the hospital after falling from the stairs.

Death by accident. Her death was put away with those three words.

But I had seen the truth.

From the room I had been locked into—with swollen cheeks and bereft of my clothes—I saw through a gap in the door—

—How he thrust her down.

I desperately tried to get a hearing, but no one believed me.

(The truth is going to fade away and be forgotten.

I will forget before long, too.

I have got a bad memory, so I will also forget.

I don't want to.

I mustn't.)

Therefore, I noted it down.

In a notebook my mother had once given to me with the words that I should write anything into it I absolutely didn't want to forget.

It was not just a memento of her.

It was a special notebook—different from those I usually used—whose contents I didn't forget.

Therefore, I noted it down.

In order not to forget, I noted it down.

I noted down the truth behind the death of my mother.

(...Someone's here. Sheesh. It might be him. He'll destroy this if he finds it. I'll forget if he does.

I don't want to.

I mustn't.)

The door opened slowly.

It was his hands.

He had come, after all.

I closed the notebook and looked for a place to hide it. However, I couldn't decide on a place because none seemed certain.

The door kept opening.

With my gaze I compared the notebook that contained the truth of her death and the slowly opening door.

There was no time.

I tore off the page I had just written, pushed it into my mouth and gulped it down.

I concealed the truth of her death in my stomach.

(Now I won't forget.

I won't forget for the rest of my life......)

.........

A while after waking up, I was so confused that I didn't know where I was.

I felt as though my consciousness had been gotten caught in between dream and reality.

After gazing at the patterns in the wooden ceiling for a few moments, I got a clear mind.

It took me another few minutes to recognize that I lived here.

Fragments of my memory before waking up were still in my head.

I'd had a dream.

But I had forgotten what it was about in these few minutes.

Leaving me with an irking feeling, the memory of the dream had disappeared.

What kind of dream was it?

This memory wasn't going to return,

Unless I had made a note, I couldn't recall memories that had disappeared.

(Again. As always.)

I couldn't recall things I wanted to recall.

Even though I couldn't forget things I wanted to forget.

I had trouble bearing up with that vexation of my helplessness.

I buried my face in the pillow and covered myself under the blanket, curling up in the darkness.

The moment my vision went black, a miracle occurred along with a sensation of sparks flying.

—I remembered. I remembered my dream.

It was a dream of my past.

At the same time, it also answered my question.

I finally realized why I couldn't forget about it.

◆

Because of the exams, there were no afternoon classes.

It goes without saying that I was despite everything a mere student and was going to school. And since I was going to school, I naturally also took classes. And since I took classes, I naturally also had to take exams when the time arrived. And since I had to take exams, I naturally also had to take supplementary exams. Right. "Naturally". I don't listen to any opinions that claim otherwise.

Anyway, I went to the shop a little early even though my work was scheduled for the evening like always. I planned on studying for the supplementary exam the next day. Ain't I diligent?

To my surprise, however, there was a customer.

It was extremely rare for someone else to be here but the owner, Towako-san, or my workmate, Saki. It was a shop whose lack of customers could be taken for granted. "What the hell?" one might ask, but I've had enough of that question.

That surprising customer was in her early twenties from her looks. Her presence made her seem a little older, though. It was a woman that seemed fragile somehow, or insecure. The sad expression on her face may have fortified that impression.

Listening to her at a table that was for sale—a fake of a table with the ability of keeping everything on it even when flipping the table over like the pops of the shouwa era loved to do—was Towako-san.

(Since when did we offer counseling?)

That moment, Saki came out of the living room with a tray of black tea and our eyes met.

"Quite rare that we have a customer, huh?"

"It's an acquaintance of an acquaintance of Towako-san."

I thought about asking her for some black tea as well, but without leaving me any time to enjoy some tea, Towako-san beckoned me over, "You just came at the right time. Tokiya, take a seat!"

I didn't know what "right time" it was for, but I obediently sat down next to her. The woman on the other side greeted me with a nod, but looked a little perplexed.

"This is my part-timer. And this is Etsuko Uwajima," Towako-san introduced us to each other. "She's come her because of a problem she has. Join me in listening to her."

She loved to bargain over a Relic she was eyeing, but apparently she was bored of listening to someone's problems and planned on pushing it on me.

While I didn't have enough experience to counsel an adult woman, I wasn't as immature as to decline.

"All right, I am sorry, but may I ask you to start all over again?"

Etsuko-san nodded without seeming offended, and started calmly.

"To tell the truth, there is something I just can't seem to forget."

"Aha..."

"I have a bad memory and often forget things. This is due to a brain damage I suffered in a traffic accident when I was young."

Unsure what to say, I nodded vaguely. She continued without minding.

"I have absolutely no memory of anything before the accident. The memories right after the accident, too, have become very vague. I remember almost nothing from that period. Apparently, the brain function that manages my memories has been damaged in the accident. Moreover, I haven't only forgot about my past, but I am also very forgetful about everything," she said and made a few examples for explanation's sake. "I immediately forget things like faces or where the shops I go to are located. Sometimes I forget to take my money at the bank or to wrap my purchases even though I take the change. Also, one time I was searching for something but forgot what I was looking for in the process. It's been like this since I was a child, and because of that I was often scolded. In elementary school, for example, I set the record of forgetting something one week in a row. ...Or was it two weeks? No, three weeks?"

She talked rather leisurely, or "other-wordly" perhaps. As a side note, she took a whole five minutes for the explanation so far. That should give an idea of just how sluggishly—excuse me, I mean leisurely—she talked.

I had taken a sideglance at Towako-san, but she was pretty much letting the explanation go in one ear and out the other. For her, that pace and nature had to be hard to endure.

Suddenly, the woman took a laptop out of her bag and started to look something up.

What was so important to pause and look it up?

"...Ah, it was in high school. I remember now."

She had checked that up as it seemed. Had she stored her personal history on that laptop or something?

To be honest, I didn't give a shit. To begin with, didn't she kinda recall the wrong part there?

"Ah, but it's not like I forget each and every thing. I can memorize things like the multiplication tables or how to buy tickets."

Amnesia only involves forgetting part of one's experiences, like one's memories, but does not include bare knowledge. Besides, the memory power itself doesn't decrease, so new memories are retained just fine.

Apparently, it's like the way to the old memories is being cut off.

In her case, it might have been something similar.

"Anyhow, once my mother, concerned about me, told me that I could memorize things if I wrote them on a note and ate the note. When I tried it out, I really became able to memorize all kinds of things. Since then I have been eating notes to fight against my forgetfulness. I can keep things in mind quite a long time thanks to that. Quite the progress, isn't it?"

Like I care.

"So?"

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

"...Um, is something wrong?" I asked.

Etsuko-san was holding her cheek and cocking her head absent-mindedly.

"Hello?" I asked again, upon which she peeked into my face.

"Excuse me, but what have I been talking about?"

Can I go home already?

"...and that's where you stopped."

I went to the trouble of repeating what she had said.

"Ah, I see," she said as she clapped her hands together with a beaming smile.

"Um, so what concern brings you here today?"

"Yes, listen please. As I said, I am still memorizing things by eating notes, and those memories fade away after a while, but there is one memory I just can't seem to forget. I really want to, but I can't..."

"Aha..."

"This is the notebook I mentioned."

With these words, Etsuko-san pointed at a notebook on the table.

It was soft to the touch and of high quality, and had a binding made of Japanese paper. Just, apart from that it was a boringly normal A4 notebook that contained unlined blank pages. If I had to tell if it looked tasty or not, well, no, it didn't. Although that was no problem.

Unsure how to react, I looked to the side. Towako-san gave me a nod. That's when I realized that this notebook was a Relic.

"I once had an acquaintance of mine show it to me. Probably there's no doubt."

"What kind of power does it have?"

"You don't forget anything you note down in it. Whatever is written in there remains in your memory—no matter how much time passes, word for word."

(So in short, I guess she's written something in it and can't forget it anymore.)

"As soon as you've written something, is it really impossible to forget it?"

"No, you just have to erase it to revoke its effect. You can use an eraser or even just strike it out."

"Hey, then it's quite the simple task."

If she was unable to forget that memory, we just had to erase the corresponding text.

"Just, you know...," she sighed and showed me the opened notebook.

I saw the traces of torn-off pages.

"She's eaten the note."

"Exactly," the woman nodded in agreement.

A notebook that lets you remember everything you write in it.

A notebook that lets you forget something again if you erase it.

Then what happens if one were to eat a page?

"Dunno, no one has ever tried," Towako-san explained curtly. "But sweet Jesus, this is the first time I heard of someone eating a Relic! You never know what happens in life, and that's what makes it fun."

"Eating a note isn't new, though."

That eating a note will enable you to remember anything you've written on it is just a superstition some fool came up with when he was driven into a corner by his exams. But there are people who have to rely on such a superstition (can't talk about others).

She happened to be one of these people as well.

And in her case, she happened to have eaten a note from a Relic.

"Normally, it's a really simple item... you remember what you write, and if you don't need it anymore, you just erase it," Towako-san said.

"If erasing does the trick, perhaps she'll forget when the note is digested?" I suggested.

"Unless she's eaten it today, it should be long digested by now."

"Then maybe in her shi—UGH!"

"We're eating."

Saki hit me with a tray. With good reason.

We were having a slightly late lunch. Saki's self-made cod roe spaghetti.

Only I, Saki and Towako-san were sitting round the lunch table. We had noted down Etsuko-san's contact information and asked her to leave for now.

The notebook itself was still here, as we were going to investigate on it.

Etsuko Uwajima-san. 21 years old.

She had received the notebook from her mother when she was young and was told to write everything in it she didn't want to forget. We didn't know how her mother had obtained the notebook, nor did we know if she had known about Relics, but at least she seemed to have been aware of its power.

She had passed away ten years ago. Apparently, she had slipped from the stairs and had fallen in a bad angle, causing her death. Her parents were divorced, so the father had not been there. I couldn't ask for details about her family environment, but I guessed it was a rather complicated one. At the moment she lived alone. Her address was about three stations from here. That was about what we knew about her.

"She remembers stuff like this, huh."

Considering her lacking memory power, she could tell us these things pretty easily. Well, for part of it she had used her computer, though.

"Keep in mind that there are two factors you must distinguish. Otherwise you'll get confused," Towako-san said.

"I am already. So, what factors do you mean?"

"First, she lost her memory due to an accident, which has also made her memories thereafter ambiguous and uncertain."

"The other one?" I asked.

"She's simply forgetful from nature."

"Yeah, she was quite the airhead..."

I looked at Saki. Wasn't she also an airhead in a sense?

"What?" She looked back at me expressionlessly upon noticing my gaze.

"No, nothing."

I turned back to Towako-san.

"I'm no expert in this field either, so I'm basing myself on common education and my own guesswork," she started, "A human brain has a short-term memory and a long-term memory. Among others, the latter consists of the episodic memory, used for recollections, and the semantic memory, used for factual knowledge. That's not new to you, right?"

"Right."

(Never heard of it.)

"The accident has probably damaged the long-time memory. I guess it's true that she can remember almost nothing from her past, but in her computer she has a decent amount of data that fills in the gaps. That's why she remembers her mother for example."

(So the hard disk of her computer is supplementing her brain?)

"And the reason for her forgetting the money at the bank or for forgetting things in elementary school is, well, she's a scatterbrain. It's not just her—these things can happen to anyone. Anyone forgets his short-term memory within a few minutes, after all. It's just that normally, you repeat those things in mind or look at a memo, so you can store it in your long-term memory. A scatterbrain tends to neglect doing so, or just gets distracted with something else."

(Does that mean that I can't remember anything from classes because it never reaches the long-term memory? I don't study at home after all.)

"In her explanation, she mixed the damage of her memory and her forgetfulness, which makes her story incoherent. Looks like she didn't notice herself, though. At any rate," she sighed, "The notebook Relic makes her remember things without paying heed to her mind structure."

"So, what do we do?"

"Well, I think I'll solve her problem. It's rude to leave her to her own devices after accepting her request for advise. Besides, there's a reward. A reward!"

(The relation is 1:3, huh... That's how bad our sales are.)

"But is there really a need to do something? After all, she has written it into her notebook because she didn't want to forget."

"She wants to forget now. Although I don't know what."

Right. In the end, we couldn't find out what she wanted to forget.

She asked us not to press her on it because it were private. We accepted for now, since we deemed it possible to find "a way to forget" even without knowing "what to forget".

Nonetheless, I was rather interested in what would be troublesome to remember.

"That said, this hasn't happened before, so there's nothing we could research. Let's wait and see for a while."

"I agree... By the way, she was introduced to you by an acquaintance, right?"

"Mm? Yeah."

"What kind of person is it?"

"What do you mean by 'what kind'?"

"Nah, I just wondered if it's someone like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

(Well, someone who isn't only a sucker for Relics, but oddities of all kinds, and who loves to try them out on others. In other words, a nuisance that can't adapt to society...?)

"No, don't tell me. If you do, one of my important part-timers might bite the dust."

She'd rather reflect on her actions than restrain herself and not ask. That said, I was not so stupid as to voluntarily put myself in danger.

"So what kind of person is it?"

"Oh, just an old friend. A nuisance that gives Relics to people on a whim," Towako-san muttered with an absent gaze.

As the matter had been settled for the time being, I decided to study.

I had a supplementary exam the following day; there was enough pressure to get me into the mood.

(If I'd had even just a tenth of my current willingness at school, then I wouldn't have to suffer now...)

Well, I knew only too well that this was impossible, though.

"Didn't your exams end today?" Saki asked with an observant look.

"H-Homework."

"You got yourself a supplementary exam, didn't ya?" Towako-san hit the bull's eye.

Well, it was a bad excuse anyway, since I never did my homework.

"You're quite the oddball for wanting to take a supplementary exam," Saki remarked in a flat voice.

I would have laughed back at her if that had been sarcasm. But in her case, she apparently didn't know what a supplementary exam was. There we have another maverick who can't adapt to society.

"Even though I helped you so much yesterday...," Towako-san sighed.

(You call that help?

I admit: doing it like a quiz and asking me questions is a perfectly valid way to study, but I have a strong feeling that it was more just me helping her kill time.)

"Alrighty, repetition time. Explain the Doppler effect!"

"Uuhm, aah, let me think... that's that swaying of the pitch when an ambulance passed by or when you come by a railroad crossing."

"Not examples, tell me the definition."

"Umm, something about... the source of waves..."

"The formulae?"

"Weell, there were a few..."

That was a problem I hadn't been able to answer after three tries the other day. Of course this had also been in the exam, but it was questionable if I had answered correctly. Since I hadn't been able to answer it in the shop, I had given up on it when I came across it in the exam.

Towako-san let out a deep sigh.

"If your grades drop too much, I won't be able to let you work here."

"They're not high enough to drop."

"Don't act big, you fool," she said and tore off a page from the notebook Relic for some reason. "Here. It belongs to someone else, so I can't give you the whole thing, but a page should be okay."

She tossed me the torn-off page.

"M-May I really?"

"It'd rub me the wrong way if your grades dropped because of my shop. Note only the things down you can't remember whatever you try."

It was the first time she looked like an angel to me.

Studying had never been so effective in my life.

After all, everything went straight into my head as soon as I had written it down. For the first time in my life, I had fun studying. I was now able to accept the statement that studying was fun if you caught on.

I noted down everything the exam covered, writing as tiny as I could. I couldn't get everything on the page, front and back, but it was enough to avoid falling flat.

To my surprise, Towako-san prepared fried pork cutlet for dinner to raise my spirits and make me "win" against the exam. She was just like a mother to her son who had to take an entrance examination.

It was always Saki who prepared the meals, so I was surprised Towako-san could actually cook. She couldn't wash and clean, but cooking was something different according to her.

"Yum, really tasty!"

"Hehe, looking in a different light at me now?" Towako-san boasted with a smirk. "Okay, we're doing some repetition while eating! Question: What is the Doppler effect?"

"A phenomenon that occurs due to the relative motion of a wave and its source, or a wave and its observer. The formula to calculate the frequency if the source approaches the observer is..."

I smirked like Towako-san, "Hehe," and answered with ease like reciting the one times table. The answer came out so fluently, I could hardly believe this was my mouth.

I was able to answer almost all questions Towako-san asked me—except for the ones that weren't written in the Relic.

(I've got it! My preparations are perfect.)

It was also the first time that I couldn't wait for my exams.

◆