Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume8 Chapter8
Spring Breeze
Part 1
The magnificent cherry trees at the back of the school building seemed to live solely for the brief two-week period at the beginning of April.
After their flowers had blossomed, the larvae that would become butterflies and moths made their presence felt, from the time the new leaves started sprouting right the way through until midsummer.
Black specks of feces would be scattered like seeds on the ground beneath the branches, and every year there were incidents with clumsy caterpillars losing their grip on the leaves and falling into the hair or onto the uniform of some unfortunate student below.
That being said, this area behind the school building was a stopover point connecting the second gymnasium and the church, as well as forming part of the route used by students to get to the back gate. It wasn't shunned by any means. The students simply moved swiftly when passing under the trees during that time, paying attention to both what was underfoot and what was overhead. That was the accepted behavior at Lillian's.
Autumn arrived once those nuisances had grown wings and flown off, and it brought with it days of sweeping up the mass of fallen leaves.
Naturally, the blossoming of the cherry flowers meant it was harvest season, although these cherries weren't harvested. If anything, the ginkgo trees along the main path should be harvested, as that would at least lessen the smell somewhat.
But of course that was only a selfish human concern.
The cherry trees knew nothing of this as, year after year, they were immersed in the tasks of blossoming flowers, dropping petals, growing new leaves, scattering seeds and shedding dry leaves.
In this manner, they'd stood there for decades.
And they would probably continue watching Lillian's long after the current crop of students was gone.
"Right. It's no big deal."
I muttered as I looked up at the cherry tree, just like one month ago.
The flowers were on the verge of blooming fully. And so my onee-sama was no longer by my side.
Before I knew it, I'd reached the final year of high-school.
I removed the rosary that had hung around my neck for the past two years, then wrapped it around my right wrist. Having it hanging around my neck wasn't in any way inconvenient, but now that my onee-sama had graduated I hated the constant reminder of her. Winding it around my arm like a bracelet-substitute was perfect.
A petal coiled up, like a spring, then dropped off right before my very eyes. I held out my rosary-attached right hand, palm open, and caught it.
Was it comforting me, or laughing feebly? Either way, it looked like the cherry tree was trying to tell me something.
"That's right."
As I was agreeing, the round petal on the palm of my hand was blown away. Soon the small existence that had been on the palm of my hand was carried to the ground, where it quickly blended in with the other fallen petals, making it hard to tell which one it was.
Right. It really was no big deal.
There was no doubt that these cherry trees, which had survived the war, had witnessed far more disastrous events. They would know the serious tears and unbearable memories of sorrowful people.
Even though I could be said to have lost a loved one, in my case, she was still alive somewhere out there.
It's simply a matter of course that for every meeting there is a corresponding parting. The hole that was left in my heart was small enough that I would be able to mend it myself.
A gust of wind blew past. The branches of the cherry tree shook and the petals fell relentlessly. I looked up at heaven and gently closed my eyes. Like that, I felt as though the incessantly falling petals were painting over me.
Countless times I've wanted to be absorbed into things of beauty far beyond the reach of humans, like the sky and the sea, or the trees. I regretted being given the life of a sinful "human" animal, and spontaneously apologized, desiring forgiveness. Running away from life is rightly condemned, and that's all there is to it.
What attracted me to Shiori was seeing the divinity inside her. While she was beside me, with that light shining on me, I felt that my life was worth living too.
"Rosa Gigantea … huh."
Since April, the number of students calling me that had risen. I still wasn't used to it. It was, until a month ago, the title used to address my onee-sama.
My onee-sama had said, "If you feel a debt of gratitude to me, then pay that forward to someone else." But would I be able to do that kind of thing?
No. It was unthinkable that someone as weak as me would be able to attract a junior to them.
I no longer looked down on those innocent students like I once had. Instead, I found myself envying them. Just living was such an ordeal. But they possessed the strength to take everything in their stride and enjoy life.
Something within me was broken. That much I knew. But, this thing, it had no concrete shape that I could definitively point to.
The wind had strengthened further, so much so that the petals scattered on the ground also became involved in the creation of this white world.
But despite all the petals swirling in the air, the human was a human, the cherry tree a cherry tree, and the boundary between them remained clear.
Such was the way of all things.
Shiori and I. Despite both being humans, we could not become one. Plunging down the evolutionary path until we could.
Tears didn't come.
Feelings of sorrow had accumulated until eventually they turned to resignation.
The wind suddenly stopped.
Then in my expanded field of vision I saw someone that wasn't myself.
"Ah … "
I wonder which one of us spoke up.
Less than two metres separated me from the girl, bathed in flowers, who was looking back at me with the same expression of wonder.
Instantly, I remembered Shiori. I didn't mistake this girl for Shiori, I just remembered her.
A fair-skinned maiden. Her features weren't showy, but she gave the impression of an antique western doll, thanks to the gentle wave of her light-brown hair.
Was she a first-year, or a transfer student? At the very least, hers wasn't a face I recognized. But then again, I wasn't the type of person to remember everyone's face.
I have a weakness for these kind of encounters.
"You're … "
I started to speak, then swallowed my words.
Deja vu.
I was assaulted by a sweet and bitter bout of deja vu.
It was like this with Shiori too.
Shiori had known about me beforehand, but I first became aware of her existence when we met in the deserted chapel.
So was the rest going to be like it was with Shiori too? Persistently asking about her, eventually following her around like some kind of stalker, and then – .
It ending in ruin.
I didn't know how to proceed in this situation. I readied myself in case she was about to smile divinely and say, "Gokigenyou," like Shiori.
Would I kneel at her feet, or run away?
At any rate, it was obvious I wasn't in a normal state of mind.
"Pardon me."
However, she was the one that fled. She blushed and quickly bowed. Then ran off towards the school building.
I was saved. I leaned against the trunk of the cherry tree and let out a sigh of relief.
"Don't worry, it's a human girl."
A strange sensation came over me as I muttered this.
What had I been thinking?
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