Apocalypse Witch:Volume5 Chapter1

Status: Incomplete

2/5 parts completed

   

Chapter 1

Part 1

“Senpai, you have a really low life experiences score, don’t you?”

Utagai Karuta was being attacked by a 12-year-old first thing in the morning.

The attacker was Natalena Blast, a Sub Category Regulation 1 with wavy blonde hair cut to shoulder length. Her white short-sleeve blouse didn’t look so crisp because she made sure to wash and iron it with care; this was simply her first time wearing it. This was Karuta’s first time wearing the summer uniform too since the first ship had been sunk so soon, but it was different for her. Her entire summer uniform gave off an aura of innocence. She, however, thought she was all grown up now that she was wearing a summer uniform for the first time, so mentioning that aura was sure to have her puffing out her cheeks even more.

She was more than a head shorter than Karuta and she was currently grabbing bite-sized pieces of French toast from a square plastic container and tossing them into her mouth.

“Munch, munch. I mean, you’re supposed to be this incredible upperclassman who’s been with Grimnoah since the first ship, but, well, you barely know any of the school’s tricks. If you want people to look up to you as an upperclassman, you need to enjoy your school life more. And you need to teach me more tricks for getting by at school.”

“I never asked you to call me ‘senpai’ all the time. And what’s with this rule breaking first thing in the morning, Natalena? If you’re going to eat snacks, don’t do it in the middle of the hallway where the teachers are bound to catch you.”

“Call me Jane Ignition here. And anything you cook yourself in the dorm kitchen and bring with you doesn’t count as a snack. Besides, French toast made from the bread crusts I cut off my sandwiches is a valuable source of carbs.”

Come to think of it, Second Grimnoah ensured the students were free to buy lunch at the cafeteria, buy it at the school store, or bring their own. So if it was handmade, even a donut, biscuit, or bagel might just barely dodge the label of “snack”. And as long as you didn’t do it during class, there was no actual restriction on when you could eat your lunch.

Natalena licked off her honey and sugar covered fingers.

“Yum. The fact that I have to explain to you how to abuse these kinds of loopholes is why you aren’t much of an upperclassman.”

“Well, sorry. So what are you doing here anyway? The Subcategory building is over there.”

“I’m visiting the Main Category library to, um, get some reference material.”

“….”

“Um, Senpai? The fact that self-study isn’t bound by the school year framework is another of those loopholes I was talking about. And I know you’re excited since today is a Port Day, but, uh, you’re the one who can’t afford the blow to your reputation if you get a bad score on the upcoming exams.”

This capable underclassman was on another level entirely from Utagai Karuta.

“(Hm, I see. From now on, I’ll call her Self Conscious Girl.)”

“I can hear you, Not Nearly Self Conscious Enough Senpai.”

With that parting comment, she walked off.

Unlike that perfect Subcategory Regulation 1 who never stopped studying even when she didn’t have class or homework, undisciplined Karuta held his sleepy head and walked straight to his classroom. He found a room so steady it was hard to believe it was on a ship.

The classroom was a mixture of information before morning homeroom. The boys and girls had gathered into a few different groups where they chatted freely. Several were instead focused on their phones or tablets. The paper weekly manga magazines didn’t always show up on the school store’s shelves on the usual release day, so the students had a tendency to buy the digital version they could read on their phones.

“Sup, Karuta. Hirosuke went ahead and bought the digital version even though it’s a Port Day, so watch out for spoilers.”

“This week’s Red Pan is so good. I-it’s the kind of once-in-a-lifetime chapter where anything I could tell you would spoil it for you.”

If Utagai Karuta was going to join a group, it was usually with his awful friends Yamane Deiri and Nekoumi Hirosuke. Seeing the disaster that was those two honestly helped soothe the wounds inflicted by Self Conscious Girl that morning.

The Port Day people kept mentioning referred to a day when Second Grimnoah, a modified triple hull cruise ship, stopped at a port to resupply or receive maintenance. The ship contained more than enough facilities for anything they might want to do, but leaving the ship still brought a sense of freedom.

The Japanese might have trouble picturing what the Southeast Asian equatorial region looks like, but there were plenty of cities rivaling Tokyo or Osaka in size. A chance to visit those cities was exciting.

“(Don’t you two sneak out every night for some low-altitude flying so the ship’s radar won’t notice you?)”

“(It’s not the same thing, Karuta-chan.)”

His childhood friend and fellow worlds strongest Amaashi Marika was also in his class, but similar circumstances did not mean they were always together.

In fact…

“Hey, hey. Welcome to Marika-san’s spot the difference game. So can either of you tell what’s different about me from yesterday? Well, Imi? How about it, Tayori? Heh heh. Ha ha ha. C’mon, c’mon, make a guess!”

“Are you kidding me, Marika!? I’d have to be blind to miss those super long shoujo manga eyelashes! What are you, the Fuji TV logo? Argh, I’m so jealous!!”

“Oh? You got the latest Serene Silent product, didn’t you? All the girls were glued to their screens yesterday trying for that jelly mascara, but of course it was you won the purchase lottery. You have all the luck.”

Those youthful people, whose skin seemed covered in a water-resistant coating, excitedly made plans to all try it out together later. The popular girls were also busy making their own plans for the Port Day.

Their conversations had a different feel to them.

It was like they existed in a bright and sunny zone.

Unlike Karuta’s type who were constantly fighting over who got to be in the secluded corners of the large classroom, the girl’s group formed by the triangle of Marika, Imi, and Tayori were like the yolk of a fried egg. They were the school protagonists. More than just being popular girls, they were the central figures, where it wouldn’t even seem like an egg dish anymore if they were removed. Those were Amaashi Marika’s original specs. Girls who could look cute doing the things she did were so rare Karuta doubted there were even 5 of them in all of Japan.

“Anyway, my friends, wasn’t yesterday’s homework a nightmare? Quantity-wise, I mean.”

“Yeah, so gross!”

“Marika, you’re only agreeing out of habit, aren’t you? I bet you were actually glued to your tablet all day yesterday.”

The summer uniform’s short-sleeved blouse was thin enough that it was pretty bad for Karuta’s heart when curvy Marika stretched her arms and pushed out her chest. He didn’t have any kind of clairvoyance, but he still had a tunnel view right up his childhood friend’s short sleeve to her armpit.

Hashizaki Tayori, who looked like the gyaru type but acted more like the big sister type, seemed bothered by it, but Matsuda Imi was completely unguarded. She had even chosen a bright colored bra, so its striped pattern showed right through her blouse on this pleasant morning. That was probably the top half of a matching set.

Marika seemed to notice Karuta watching from a short distance away while she sat on a desk instead of in a chair.

The girl with her twintails dyed strawberry blonde winked at him and jokingly blew him a kiss.

“I’d say Amaashi scores pretty high,” said Yamane Deiri. “Getting her as a childhood friend is like getting seeded in the tournament of life, Karuta-chan. How the hell are you stuck in the pill bug zone in the corner of the class with us? Port Day’s are the perfect time for a date. Have you completely given up on enjoying your youth?”

“Karuta-kun can never make it in the sunlight! Because he used up his entire life’s allotment of luck getting seeded with such a cute girl as a neighbor. Don’t worry. He’s the kind of guy who gets chosen as a starting member of the team but then gets booed for getting last place in the tournament.”

He was really unsure how to even begin responding to his depressing friends’ discussion, but he found it curious they considered that being seeded. They were so bitter it was unusual for them to compliment Marika who was such an obvious winner at life.

Then again…

“(Of course, she’s 5 years too young to be in my strike zone. Look, I won’t insist on her becoming a schoolteacher, so can she at least grow into a college girl while still being basically the same?)”

“(It’s a shame, really. She has a lot going for her, but no one taller than 145cm is on my menu. She’s bamboo, not the delicious bamboo shoots. Forcing myself to eat that would only make me sick.)”

Or could they only make such a rational assessment because they weren’t interested in her? Karuta updated his opinion of them. By downgrading them to “utterly hopeless”, of course.

Then he felt something on his cheek.

He found Crystal Girl Aine was crawling out from his side. She had grabbed at his cheek with her small fingers and pulled in the process.

“Less than 145cm! A masterpiece of god’s creation!!” shouted Nekoumi Hirosuke with arms spread wide, but Aine ignored that and puffed out her cheeks while grumbling something.

She appeared to be upset.

“Mhh.”

“What is it, Aine? Can you explain it to me?”

“Sacri-sama, have you failed to grasp the situation from Miss Marika’s extremely unnatural eye contact and lip movements? She is asking to see your homework because she forgot to do hers.”

Aine’s warning proved accurate.

Marika must have checked the wall clock and concluded their homeroom teacher would arrive soon. This would be her last chance to copy his homework before morning homeroom. The curly twintails girl, who was willing to throw kisses in an exaggerated and theatrical fashion, approached him. Imi and Tayori sighed and watched her go. Karuta really wished they would prove their friendship by stopping her.

It turned out Marika didn’t care whose seat she sat in.

She dragged over a nearby chair and sat down. She gave off a sweet scent that wasn’t quite shampoo or deodorant. It may have been that makeup her group was talking about.

She leaned forward and grinned, moving her face in real close like a snake eyeing its prey.

“Hey, hey, Karuta. My good buddy, Karuta-kuuuun☆”

“Yeah, yeah. Here’s yesterday’s homework.”

“Eh? You’re being awfully dry today, my withered childhood friend. Don’t hand it over before I’ve even asked for it. Can you read minds now?”

“Why do you look so upset when I gave you what you wanted?”

“The process is important with these things. I mean…”

She childishly pouted her lips and placed one hand at the center of her chest. She wasn’t quite holding her chest. Her slender fingers were toying with the buttons of her thin short-sleeved blouse.

A nice snapping sound came from her fingers.

She winked up at him and pulled the blouse down over her shoulder.

And she whispered in his ear.

“(I was even thinking I could negotiate by giving my thirsty childhood friend the opportunity of a lifetime if he let me copy his homework.)”

The boy’s heart leaped in his chest.

He could feel the tension racing below his skin like electricity.

She had him completely outclassed when it came to things like this.

“Pff.”

The popular girl held her sides.

She nearly started rolling on the floor in laughter and tears formed in her eyes.

“Ah ha ha!! By which I mean I was going to let you give me a shoulder massage. Now, what did you think I meant? …Huh?”

Had she really not noticed until now?

Unbuttoning her blouse to show off her shoulder had also shown off quite a bit of her cleavage. Not to mention he could see her colorful bra strap.

The gloomy bastards who preferred the corners of the classroom hung their heads.

“(G-getting to massage a girl that clueless about what she’s showing off sounds like one hell of a reward to me. Do you think Amaashi-san has a bratty little sister who’s basically that but smaller?)”

“(Why couldn’t she be just a few years older? Her sexiness is wasted on a classmate. Could you maybe introduce me to her mom!?)”

The conversation was taking a turn Marika had not at all expected, so she crossed her arms and held her own body. She covered her exposed shoulder and hid her cleavage. And she pouted her lips and looked up at Karuta.

When she spoke, she made it sound like a joke, but there was also a slight flush in her cheeks.

“Karuta, you perv. Stop staring at my bra.”

“How is it fair to get mad at me for looking at something you showed me? Is this a new kind of scam, Marika?”

She always slept in the nude, but having her decorative bra strap seen when she didn’t expect it got to her. He honestly couldn’t figure out where her threshold for embarrassment was located.

Then he felt something on his cheek again.

The small crystal girl was as expressionless as ever.

“Mhh.”

“Again, what is this about?”

Part 2

Second Grimnoah was a crystal magic academy.

However, that did mean the students there fought magical battles year round. In fact, extreme kinds of action had to be built atop a strong foundation, so more general education could be the difference between life and death.

Just like someone who could not perform a back hip circle on the metal bar at a park wouldn’t be able to perform a giant swing at the gymnastics world championship.

So…

“Pant, pant, gasp. The bell. Kurent-sensei, the bell just rang!!”

“Tch. So you were saved by the bell, Utagai Karuta.”

The silver-haired, brown-skinned gym teacher who didn’t even bother hiding her tongue click was Letnahe Kurent. She wore a tank top and bright-colored leggings. She notably also had a ring and a mobile watch on her left hand.

“Why do your right arm and right leg start working in unison when you dance? It isn’t often I come across a student who can pull off such a cursed dance.”

“Do you realize that’s as cruel a question as asking someone who can’t swim why they sink in the water?”

“It takes talent to be that bad.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

The modern standards for teaching were to point out your student’s failings but to avoid giving them a complex about it, but this strict teacher must not have gotten the memo. She hit him with the competitive culture of “If you don’t want me to make fun of you, then get good.”

It didn’t help that he couldn’t look straight at her when she demonstrated the dance moves. That was due to how the yoga tank top and formfitting leggings showed off her curvy figure even more than a dancer in a fantasy world. Her navel was always exposed and any more intense jumps caused the rare sight that was underboob to greet him from below her tank top. But he knew saying so would only be adding fuel to the fire.

The Indian wife and teacher had worked up a healthy sweat, so she sipped at a bottle of some kind of protein drink.

“This exercise should help keep your weight down, so don’t ruin that by eating a bunch of sweet things during the Port Day.”

“Okay…”

The bell had already rung. If he got changed now, he would be too late for the lunchtime rush, so he chose to begin his quest for lunch while in his track suit.

Aine appeared at his side at some point.

“Sacri-sama, I did not observe you making a lunch today.”

“Because I’m going to the cafeteria today.”

He had shoved his wallet, phone, and other valuables in the locker along with his clothes, but he had made sure to keep a 1000 yen note in his track suit’s pocket. If you didn’t have a plan in place when you had gym for 4th period, you could never survive the high school lunchtime where so many people went hungry and thirsty.

“Aine, why are you keeping your distance all of a sudden?”

“I do not plan to eat anything myself, but I have no desire to be anywhere near someone thoughtless enough to choose curry or a meat sauce dish.”

The expressionless girl was apparently at the age where she worried about her white clothes. She must have been afraid of stray splashes. That said, Karuta had chosen katsu curry which was eaten with a spoon, so there wouldn’t be any hellish shotgun blasts like with curry udon.

“But now that you mention it, I kind of what to share it with you. Should I grab another spoon?”

“Sacri-sama.”

However, an unexpected problem presented itself.

He successfully acquired his katsu curry, but he had been too focused on that specific task. All the seats in the busy cafeteria were filled. He stood there, holding his tray and feeling at a loss. This was another challenge he had failed to consider. And for whatever reason, the cafeteria didn’t allow people to take the food out of the room to eat it.

“Sacri-sama, I see some people giving up and sitting on the floor to eat. See, with their back against the wall.”

“Because they got the set meal that’s divided into a few small plates. It’s not so easy with one big plate of curry. I need both hands just to hold the heavy plate.”

“How is that a problem?”

Karuta tilted his head and Aine made a scooping gesture.

“You can hold the plate in your hand and then I will spoon the curry into your mouth. I believe that solves the problem.”

“Karuta-kun.”

A soft voice interrupted.

He looked over to find Student Council President Omotesandou Kyouka was in the cafeteria too. She had a Japanese sashimi set spread out on the table in front of her and there was a small gap in the crowd around her. Probably because she needed a bit more space than an ordinary chair to maneuver her wheelchair.

The upperclassman with glossy black hair beckoned him over.

“Don’t even think about rudely sitting on the floor with Aine-chan. The spot next to me is open, so pull up a chair.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Omotesandou-san. …What is it, Aine? Why are you poking my cheek?”

“Mhh.”

The crystal girl somehow managed to look displeased and expressionless at the same time, but she was as obedient as ever.

Once Karuta had set his katsu curry on the table to secure his spot, he lugged over a spare chair.

“I’m kind of surprised to find you eat lunch in the cafeteria, Omotesandou-san.”

“Why? Did you think I spent hours leisurely dining on luxury dishes special made by a personal chef?”

That was more or less what he had imagined, so he declined to answer. But this did remind him that she had made (unusually sweet) curry rice when it was her turn to cook during their shared life in an RV while pursuing the Problem Solvers.

“I’m also surprised to see you alone. I thought you were always surrounded by people.”

“Even I want to be alone sometimes.”

“If you say so.”

“And sometimes I want a younger boy to just take care of everything for me.”

“Yeah, right.”

Upper class people apparently knew how to look graceful even with ordinary disposable chopsticks. The beautiful president even folded the long napkin into an origami puppy chopstick rest.

She stared intently at Karuta’s katsu curry.

“That does seem like the kind of thing a growing boy would be eating.”

“I can’t believe you can get through the afternoon eating so little. Even the biggest options here are free, so why would you order such a small lunch? Are you a living embodiment of SDGs?”

“Didn’t your gym teacher tell you not to eat too much?”

“Uh…”

Spartan Letnahe-sensei had told him not to eat a bunch of sweet things.

So a rice dish like this would be fine…probably.

But the black-haired teacher’s pet must have wanted an exciting new experience today because she pointed at the katsu curry she had just criticized.

“Give me a bite.”

“Sure, sure.”

Her “bite” ended up taking one of only seven strips of chicken cutlet he had. When she challenged herself to do something, she would see it through. But she also squeezed her eyes shut, gulped, and stuck out the tip of her tongue like a child.

“Ugh. It’s super spicy.”

“The curry rice you make is far below average spiciness. Most people don’t dump milk in the pot.”

“That was skim milk and maple syrup mixed in hot water.”

There was syrup in there too?

Omotesandou Kyouka trembled with tears in her eyes.

She could seem even more mature than the teachers in the faculty room at times, so the mismatch created by childishly sticking out her tongue with tears in her eyes felt wrong somehow. He knew now she could not be allowed to wear a plain school swimsuit.

“Hoo, hoo. Karuta-kun, how can you eat this challenging dish so easily? Because boy’s bodies are built differently?”

“I really don’t think this has anything to do with gender.”

If anything, he thought of a preference for super-spicy foods as a girl thing since it was commonly thought eating them would make you sweat and that would help detox your body and improve your beauty. It was Marika’s friend group he could imagine attempting some Korean, Thai, or Vietnamese food.

Kyouka was still sticking out the tip of her tongue as she pointed at something else.

She poked her slender finger against a glass full of a white liquid.

“What is this? It doesn’t look like cold water.”

“They were selling a drinkable yogurt. Simply cooling your tongue after eating something spicy only provides temporary relief. It’s more like pain than anything. Kurent-sensei said dairy products are the best palate cleanser for spiciness.”

“Ugh, so it is lassi or something like that?”

The president was so desperate for relief, she took a sip of his drink without asking permission first. Once she was freed from the tension of spiciness, she appeared to enter a light chill-out mode. For a while afterwards, she stared into the distance with the glass still in her hand. The unpredictable lowering of her guard left Karuta restless. It was like watching a beautiful girl sleeping.

Then she noticed the glass in her hand.

“Oh? Doesn’t this count as an indirect kiss?”

“Bff! Do you have to reclaim the upper hand like that, you gremlin!!”

Also, they had already reached the level of indirect kiss when she ate the curry from his spoon.

His yelling only made her place a hand on her cheek and smile. She liked messing with people. Meanwhile, he had a feeling Aine was glaring at him from where she stood next to him.

In fact, she was kind of scaring him.

“A-Aine-san? Why haven’t you said a word this entire time?”

“If you wish me to speak, you need only order me to do so.”

A blunt rejection.

Or maybe his jumpiness only made him interpret it that way and she was as emotionless as ever.

Then Omotesandou Kyouka spoke up like she hadn’t noticed any of that.

“Hmm. Taking food and drink from you for nothing in return would hurt my reputation as president, so I need to give you something as well. Karuta-kun, is there any part of my lunch you want?”

“Then how about the piece of sashimi you’re clearly saving for the very last? By which I mean, the shiny, red, super-rare medium-fat tun-”

“Karuta-kun☆”

She interrupted with a smile, so he decided to choose something else.

The world’s strongest boy turned his thoughts to his own status screen. What could he do to increase his courage stat?

“Then I’ll boldly go for the 2nd best option: that small plate of tatsuta-age.”

“Oh? That I just didn’t want to eat. First your katsu curry and now the tatsuta-age? Bboys really like friend foods, don’t they?”

He couldn’t deny it would be a surprise to receive fried chicken when you were in the mood for fish, but that wasn’t the tatsuta-age’s fault.

It was often said the heart of a gourmet program and an action movie came from the reactions of the opponents, not the actions of the lead, and sure enough, Kyouka made the cafeteria’s 540-yen daily special really shine. She even looked graceful as she lifted the tatsuta-age from the plate with her chopsticks. With movements like that, she could be a hand model. Although with her looks, she would shine even more modeling the rest of her too.

“Okay, let’s complete the trade☆ Hee hee. This feels like we’re real friends.”

“What are you talking about?”

She tilted her head and started blowing on the tatsuta-age held by her chopsticks. She even held her other hand beneath in a super graceful big sister move.

“This was a surprisingly insightful choice, Karuta-kun. They do say to try the chicken rather than the fish if you want to quickly determine the quality of a restaurant.”

That hadn’t been his intention, but his policy was to never correct people when they favorably read too deeply into your actions. Although that was a lesson he had learned while clashing with the Problem Solvers, so he didn’t want to rely on it if he didn’t have to.

“Hoo, hoo. Okay, say ‘ah’…oh?”

In a rare display of clumsiness, she dropped the thing held between her chopsticks. But the small piece of tatsuta-age did not hit he floor. Nor the table. Then where did it end up?

“Oh, dear.”

She sounded troubled.

It was perfectly balanced. In a strange miracle, the tatsuta-age had made a soft landing atop her large chest.

But it took more than this to fluster Student Council President Omotesandou Kyouka.

She giggled with the chicken still sitting there.

“Want to eat it straight from here?”

And…

“…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Mhh.”

“Hold that thought and take a look here, Omotesandou-san! Aine is pouting her lips and drawing her sword, so could you not make jokes like that!? Wait, why are you grinning!? You aren’t plotting to cause even more trouble, are you, you overgrown gremlin!?”

Part 5

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