OreShura: Volume 3 Chapter 2

Chapter 2 The Mayhem is in a Café with my Girlfriend

This happened at the end of the second day of summer cram school, after I ate dinner with Chiwa, as I was in my room preparing for the next day’s class.

The curses text message ringtone rang again, it's definitely a mail from her.

[Subject] Untitled 

[Text] I have your daughter here. 

If you want her back, you must come alone tonight at eight o’clock to the coffee shop in front of the station.

Aaah-- Certainly, this is quite bothersome.

I turned the page of my mathematics textbook, while I typed a reply with one hand.

[Subject] Re: Untitled 

[Text] I have no daughter. 

If you want to kill her, cut her as you like.

After about ten seconds, the cursed music sounded again.

Yareyare, I had no choice but open the message—

[Subject] UNTITLED

[Text] I have my daughter here. 

If you want her to go back, then do what I wrote above.

"I don’t know about any daughter of yours!"

I said aloud, tsukkomi-ing in my text message.

In any event, you don’t have any daughter……

After all, why was her texting language to her boyfriend the same as how a kidnapper sends threatening letters?

There is no other way. I better reject her clearly.

[Subject] Re: UNTITLED

[Text] Right now, I'm busy studying and reviewing my cram school notes. 

I am very sorry, but I’ll talk to you later.

A few minutes later, I received a rather longish text message.

[Subject] Untitled

[Text] Understood.

Please give it your best in your studies.

I hope you do not become too distraught.

When you are tired, you can listen to the summer season insects cricketing outside.

You’ll definitely hear something like this.

♪ Notes Notes Notes~

♪ Dark Dark Dark History History~

♪ Revealed Revealed Revealed Will be ~

Then I immediately replied.

[Subject] Re: Untitled 

[Text] I will immediately go met yo, Masuzu-sama! 

♦

Based on the ｢coffee shop in front of the train station｣, there was actually two stores that met this criteria. But since it was Masuzu who specified this, it was possible to narrow down the stores to one—and that was the coffee chain-store right after the fork in the road. Although the taste and price weren’t worth mentioning compared to ordinary stores, it often seemed deserted because customers were frequently snatched away about neighboring restaurants. This seemed to be something Masuzu would like.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to find it actually quite crowded. Though as it was the summer, the store was filled with high school couples hanging out at night. The office worker who sat in the corner wearing a suit, seemed to be very pitiful, sipping coffee with a poor mood.

—At this time.

"Yo, Masuzu."

I said hello to my ｢girlfriend｣ who sat in the window seat. Even though this was such a crowded place, I could immediately find her thanks to her very conspicuous silver hair, blue eyes, and intense scent.

She really felt ｢superior｣ to everyone around her......

If I were a girl, I definitely, wouldn’t want to be around that atmosphere.

But now that I thought about it, Chiwa and Hime were really amazing.

"Too slow, Eita."

Masuzu looked at me fiercely with a piercing gaze, and spoke in a displeased voice.

"From the time you replied my text, it took you eleven minutes, thirty-eight seconds point three nine to get here. What is the meaning of this?"

Wow—

So detailed—

"What could I be doing? From my house to here, no matter how much I rushed, it would take at least ten minutes."

"Such a useless man. Can’t you be like Vanilla Ice and move through dark space?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not a stand user."

"Hmph, you really are a ｢useless man｣ then."

"Hmn, so "not being a user" actually means that!"

"That was actually quite well said!"

Ever since the incident with that younger sister of hers, Masuzu pretty much settled on calling each other by our first names + tongue leashing whenever we were alone.

She said: ｢As long as other people see us, we'll act like lovers｣ ｢When the two of us are alone, we'll treat each other coldly｣.

Anyways, she wasn’t a real girlfriend, so it didn’t matter if she gave me the cold shoulder…… However as of lately I feel as if her poisonous tongue’s destructive power has greatly increased.

"Don’t stand there in a daze, won't you sit down?"

"Aah, right."

The waiter brought ice water, and I ordered some coca cola. Then, I sat opposite of Masuzu.

"During the time I was waiting for you, I was hit on by those love-struck people three times. So dirty. How do you intend to make it up to me?"

"Three times is less than usual. Anyway, should have just hunted them down."

"Certainly! This is the same as preaching a new religion. One has to casually go along and force them to buy water and buy pots to bear it."

"I at least expect that you aren't doing deals with some pots......"

At this point, I realized the guests around us were staring at me. ｢Is that her boyfriend?｣ ｢He’s so plain｣. I can hear this kind of comments float over. Whenever I went on dates with Masuzu, this is the common course. There was one time when a middle school girl said, ｢so disappointing—!｣｢so depressing—!｣. After that, it took me a long time to restore my self-confidenceeeeeee!

"......Right, Masuzu. What did you want to talk about?"

"Ara?"

Thus, Masuzu smiled while tilting her head, while saying :

"You forgot already? Eita. You still ｢owe me one｣."

"--!?"

Damn!

I always had a vague feeling that she was referring to that, but she actually did mean the incident at the infirmary?

"When you saw Akishino-san’s butt, were you really excited......?"

Masuzu’s frigid eyes pierced through me.

"You were really horny that night in bed, right? So nasty."

"I was not fired up in the least!"

"If I cause your cornea to become blind and get you a transplant, you’ll probably only see Akishino-san’s butt, right?"

"What terrible pornography."

But if that really were the case, the number of boys who would want a transplant would skyrocket.

After all, it was really good stuff…….

"There you have it, you are excited again."

"!!"

Damn, am I even showing it in my face?

"You’re so perverted, just seeing you face to face might make me pregnant."

"How could that even be possible!"

"Who knows, you are merely someone whose brain is totally filled with female asses."

"THAT'S WHY I SAID THAT IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!"

"All lies. More than one or two people have seen you where that T-shirt that reads, ｢Butt!｣. You’ve even said, ｢Let’s play that butt speciality cake?｣ while smiling and assaulting a group of elementary school girls."

"What is this kind of perverted-ness? Is this how you see me in your imagination?"

Masuzu-san’s ability to act as if ｢she was wrongly accused｣ suddenly exploded IN the coffee shop in front of the station.

The waitress that delivered the Coke that I ordered had a look that made me feel very, very uncomfortable.

Ahhh, I’ll never be able to come to this store ever again……

"Therefore, the method to repay that debt that you have towards me—"

Masuzu drank the cold water that was just re-filled, and then said with a sigh:

"Please accompany me to the Hane River fireworks festival on August first."

"............ Excellent."

"What do you mean with that ｢Excellent｣?"

"Nothing, I was talking to myself."

The hunch that I had last night about the ｢flag raised｣ was right.

If I had accepted Chiwa’s request back then, then it would have been bad.

"Sorry, I can’t do it. That day I’ll be at the cram school studying."

"Studying? You’re using that to refuse a date with your girlfriend?"

"Since I paid a lot of money to go to summer school, I want to obtain the maximum results."

"But, is that true?"

Masuzu frowned and spoke:

"It couldn't be possible that you instead already have a date with Harusaki-san or Akishino-san on that evening?"

"I swear I didn’t. If you don’t believe me, you can confirm it with Chiwa or Hime."

Masuzu stared straight at my face, but finally let out a small sigh.

"I understand. Even though it’s a pity, I guess I’ll go to the fireworks festival by myself."

"Sorry."

Great, did I smoothly get out of it?

"Having said that, I thought for sure you hated those types of events."

"Ara, that’s not true at all."

Masuzu looked entranced as she looked around the shop that was full of couples, and said:

"Foaming blood red fireworks that blossom on the ground……. Fufufu! That is certainly quite beautiful."

"Just what type of enjoy attitude is that towards a fireworks festival!?"

"Why do you even have to ask? Of course it’s to drown those stupidly happy couples in a sea of blood, not a single one will escape."

"......"

What is this?

A crime threat.

Right in front of me, my girlfriend joyfully stated a crime threat……

"Because their heads will be in the clouds like idiots, their bodies will be wide open, this I expect."

"Your target is really specific, oi! You don’t really intend to carry this out, don't you?"

Should I go to the police now? Is this also the responsibility of the boyfriend?

"———Of course not, naturally this is a joke."

Thus, Masuzu shrugged her shoulders slightly and said.

"Even if we used force to eliminate followers of the love-struck religion, there’s no meaning to it. It’s naturally better to use ｢Jien-Otsu｣’s activities to leave a mark."

"......Don’t scare me......"

Relieved, I rubbed my chest. It looks like I won’t become a criminal boyfriend.

"But, ｢Jien-Otsu｣ club is no more."

Masuzu used her fingers to poke a droplet of water on her glass cup, sighed, and said:

"I thought that solving Mana’s issue would be all. I didn’t think Fuyuumi Ai would be next. The seeds of trouble come one after another, it's seemingly endless."

"You don’t have any countermeasures? Asides from committing a crime."

"Well, it’s not that there isn't any."

Masuzu stretched out three fingers as she talked.

"The first option, is that we have activities as a group, but not officially as a club."

"Ah, I see."

Wasn’t that a fine solution?

If they weren’t a club activity, it would just be ｢playing with friends｣. As long as they didn’t get too out of hand in school, the disciplinary committee could not make too many remarks.

"However, this has a major flaw."

"What?"

"Because there is no club room, there is no place to put the Holy Bible of popular people, ｢JOJO｣. As a result, this plan is NG."

".....That counts as a flaw?"

This doesn’t really matter, and you have a full set at your house.

"The second option, is the creation of a new club."

"Eh, even though our club has just been shut down?"

"The name will be the ｢Society for the Self-Creation of Young Maidens Again｣. "

"Aren’t you just adding one or two words?"

It didn’t matter was Re-Self-Creation, it was still first Self-Creation, and it would always be ｢Jien-Otsu｣.

"But you can’t just change the name, right? If the content doesn’t change, the disciplinary committee will just intervene again."

"As a result, the problem will just return to the beginning again, so the best option is the third way."

Masuzu’s pupils flashed with light.

"Find out the disciplinary committee member, Fuyuumi Ai’s weakness."

"In the end it’s just a crime. If it were that easy to find people’s weaknesses, no one would have to work so hard, right?"

"That’s not necessarily true."

Masuzu gave an intriguing smile.

"Fuyuumi Ai was boasting in the infirmary, ｢Of course I have a mere boyfriend｣. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah, I remember his name was Michel?"

"Yes, Daigoro."

Masuzu took out a little notebook and flipped through the pages, and said:

"Actually, the day we didn’t have school, Harusaki-san and I were asking all around about Fuyuumi Ai."

"So you actually did that kind of thing?"

Masuzu read aloud her notes:

"Fuyuumi Ai, first year class three. Belongs to the disciplinary committee, and has never participated in a club. Lives in a single parent home, and her family relations include a father and a little brother. Because of her father’s working situation, they move frequently. From Aomori in the north to Nagasaki in the south, they have moved a total of seven times. Although they come and gone from the mountain city of Hanenoyama several times, they’ve come back to their residence here for the start of high school."

"Following one’s father everywhere must be really hard to do."

"Really? Being able to stay domestically in Japanese borders is pretty convenient already."

"......"

When Masuzu who returned from somewhere abroad said this, I was left speechless.

This girl’s family seems to be very complicated.

"Because of this, we know that Fuyuumi Ai does not know very many people. It seems like the only person she knows was her close friend, Asoi Kaoru. From first grade to fourth grade, they were in the same class."

"Yeah, I already heard Kaoru talk about it."

"I also intended to ask Asoi-kun, but I did not realize he would avoid me so skillfully. He really is impressive."

"Hahaha, he is my best friend, after all!"

"Those two things don’t matter now."

"......Ah, really?"

After being played down so much, I felt a little sad.

"But I did obtain some very important intelligence from Fuyuumi Ai’s classmates."

"What intelligence?"

"They’ve never heard anything at all about this so-called boyfriend, ｢Daigoro｣."

"That’s not really a clue, right?"

Masuzu winked and said:

"It's because they never heard anything, that this is a point point that deserves focus."

What did she mean? I couldn’t see through her logic.

"From the tone she had showing off her boyfriend, Fuyuumi Ai is ｢love-struck｣. You thought so too, right?"

"That, well it's probably right."

Indeed.

She did show off Michel to Chiwa without restraint.

If one took love as a kind of "status" and to show it of as if it was "jewelry", this was a habit that was associated to love-struck people.

"Nevertheless, why do you think it’s significant that no one else knows about the Daigoro thing?"

"Is she keeping her boyfriend a secret from her classmates?"

"And yet she said it so clearly to us, who are her enemies?"

"Ah......"

Now that she said it, it was weird.

Even Kaoru, who was so close to her, didn’t seem to know about Michel.

Why did she say it to Masuzu and the others?

"There is only one answer, and that is ｢Daigoro does not exist｣. In other words—he was a fictional character that Fuyuumi made up."

"So rather than 'Acting as a boyfriend'Fake, it’s outright a 'False boyfriend'Dummy......"

Self-created, fake, imaginary. I was surrounded by all these kinds of things.

"It is there where I want to request something from Eita."

Masuzu’s tone became solemn as she said:

"I want you to get close to Fuyuumi Ai, and obtain proof that Daigoro’s existence is a lie."

"When you say get close to her, how do I do that?"

"It’s easy, right? Because you’re in the same class as her in summer cram school."

"How come you already know that?"

She was still well-informed as always.

How did this girl get her intelligence network? Even though she had no friends, it was really a mystery where she obtained her information.

"Since you rejected request to go to the fireworks festival, you should do at least this small thing for me."

"......I understand."

I sighed.

"But, let's say that I discover that Fuyuumi really does have a boyfriend."

"Ara, then what?"

"Because she is such a serious and responsible person. Why would she spread these kinds of lies which will soon enough be exposed?"

"She would lie."

Masuzu unhesitatingly insisted.

"In this world, there is not such a thing as a woman that does not lie."

"......"

Is that true?

"Whatever, for Eita who is only interested in the butts of girls, he surely won’t understand."

"WHAT'S WITH THOSE SUDDEN FALSE ACCUSATIONS!?"

"Eita: ｢There it doesn't exist a girl whose butt isn't beautiful!｣ (Wink)."

"THAT'S WHY I KEEP TELLING YOU NOT TO ATTRIBUTE STRANGE LINES TO ACTUAL PEOPLE—!"

So cruel!

Quite certainly, the destructive power of her poisonous tongue is several times greater than ever before!

I fearfully raised my hands and said:

"Then, Masuzu-san, this humble me also has something that I want to ask as a favor."

"What is it?"

"Would it trouble you to return to the tone you used to speak in the beginning......?"

Otherwise, I’ll end up adopting that kind of manners!

"Why?"

"Well, I feel like, I guess I should say your tone is too cold now? Your poisonous tongue has released it's limiter? Or should I say I’m almost about to get a broken heart from it?" Masuzu grunted, brought one hand to her cheek, and looked pensive for a moment.

I—even though I was just insulted by her, I was attracted to how her face looked.

She looked listless, her gaze wavering, as she sighed slightly. She looked just like an actress.

Although I could praise her looks as beautiful, I didn’t only just mean it like that.

She looks just like she was ｢expressing something｣.

As for what she was expressing, I can't possibly know.

"Well then."

Masuzu said simply.

"I'll think about."

As she stared out of the window, and I saw the profile of her face, I still felt like it was such a man-made thing.

So beautiful.

♦

Later, we chatted aimlessly for thirty minutes before we finished.

On the return trip by myself, I noticed —

"Things have just become troublesome again…..."

Thanks to Kaoru, I was about to live in harmony with Fuyuumi. But now its become a ｢dilemma｣ again.

The situation was no different than the first semester.

No, it was worse.

Why, I shouldn’t have ｢the physique that attracted mayhem｣, or the personality and so forth?

Ever since I became Masuzu’s fake boyfriend, haven’t I kept running into this kind of thing?

"I-I’m not going to just admit I lost......"

I looked up to the summer constellations of stars, and secretly vowed.

How can I just lose to some mayhem?

I will definitely make my ideal summer!

---

Notes

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