Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume12.5 Me, Christmas Eve and the Whirls of Conspiracies (First Half)

Me, Christmas Eve and the Whirls of Conspiracies (First Half)

Me, Christmas Eve and the Whirls of Conspiracies (First Half)

"..."

"What's the matter, principal?"

"Ah, Takahashi-sensei? It's nothing. I just find something to be lacking."

"The Intelligence Quotients of some students?"

"You do come up with some astounding words from time to time!?"

"I wanted to make a joke to calm you down."

"Well, rather than a joke, I'll say that it's a fact."

"I'm really sorry for making a vague joke that wasn't really funny."

"No no, it's fine. More importantly."

"What is it?"

"Are those students attending their remedials properly?"

"Yes. Looking at the current situation, they are, but..."

"But?"

"I suppose that they will be utterly furious in another 2 weeks."

"Is there a basis for the 2 weeks later part?"

"That will be time for Christmas Eve."

"...Those guys will definitely be up to something."

"Yes. It is very likely that those people will create quite a commotion unrelated to their remedials."

"I got it. I'll think of a way."

"Do you have an idea?"

"...Yeah, lots of them."

"Now then, Sakamoto, read the following paragraph."

It's time for English remedials.

Yuuji, called out by the Ironman Nishimura, picks up the textbook.

"Chris must go to his office. But he has helped his son to~~~"

"Hey, did you just mention Christmas!? Huh!?"

"Calm down, Sugawa. That person's name is Chris, it's not Christmas."

"..."

Sugawa-kun angrily returns to his seat.

Once Yuuji was certain that he was seated, he continues from where he left off.

"There was an interesting event for~~~"

"Oi, did you just mention Christmas Eve, you bastard!?"

"You're looking down on us, Sakamoto!!"

"Calm down, Sugawa, Fukumura. That was 'event, not 'eve'."

"..."

Sugawa-kun and Fukumura-kun angrily retreat to their seats.

"His son tries Chris to get a~~~"

"""YOU JUST MENTIONED SANTA CLAUS, YOU BASTARD!!!"""

"HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH ALREADY!?"

The yells from our classmates and Ironman's bellow echoes throughout the classroom.

Christmas Eve's right around the corner, and us F class male students have transformed into a gangster army.

"You went through so much to get decent facilities. What is wrong with you!? Can't you just attend lessons seriously once in a while!?"

A furious Ironman slams the podium.

As he has said, we managed to exchange our rotten facilities from before to get the good classroom of class 3-A due to the summoning war against the 3rd years...well, the only thing that changed for the better are the facilities, and we're still treated as our usual F class.

"But sensei! Please think of of our feelings!"

The guys in our class express their feelings to Ironman with a sincere attitude.

"We hate Yoshii and Sakamoto to death!!"

"Yeah! I want to dice them up!!"

"And we'll feed their corpses to the dogs!"

I don't know any other classmates who are as much of a scumbag as these guys.

"I understand your feelings. If you think you can cool off after executing Yoshii and Sakamoto, go ahead."

And I don't know any other teacher who's as much of a scumbag as him.

"But is this really going to get you guys to calm down?"

"""..."""

Because of Ironman's logical question, our classmates went silent.

And after a while, somebody dejectedly said,

"Yeah...it's as you said, sensei..."

And then, the other classmates too,

"Even if we do execute Yoshii and Sakamoto, Christmas Eve won't be gone..."

"And we won't be happy..."

"Our desires to curse Christmas Eve won't disappear..."

They start to express their honest feelings one by one, and to end off, they shout in unison,

"""BUT WE STILL WANT TO MURDER YOSHII AND SAKAMOTO!!!"

What they probably need to attend isn't English lessons, but philosophy classes now.

"Ah...anyway, calm down for now."

"""But!"""

"For your sake, the principal seems to have a proposal."

Once they heard that it was the principal's proposal, everyone in class start to chatter. Yeah, anything that hag proposed, nothing good came out of it.

"Erm, Nishimura-sensei, what's the principal-sensei's proposal?"

Amongst the voices of the sons of the devil in the classroom came an angelic voice.

She has soft wavy hair and a gentle face. That matured, calm presence of hers would make anyone who interacts with her feel healed. That person's name is Himeji Mizuki--erm, how do I put it? ...she's also someone important to me.

"The principal handed this down. You can take one and hand it down to the back."

Ironman then handed the printouts down to the front row.

I receive a notice Hideyoshi handed from in front of me, and then I send one to Minami behind me. Eh, what's written on it?

Official End-Of-Year Notice

To experience a foreign culture

A Christmas Party will be held.

Besides the usual tree-topper stars and bells,

A Christmas Tree decorated by Kugels and Mistletoe

will be placed at the gymnasium.

There will also be food provided.

All students attending the party are welcome to

Expand their horizon and experience the difference in Christmas cultures

in Japan and foreign countries.

Time: December 24, 15:00

Venue: Fumitzuki Gakuen Gymnasium

Participation Requirements: Fumitzuki Gakuen students.

_{Gender is not an issue}

"Ohh! How nice of the Principal to actually organize a Christmas Event!"

"Looks like I don't have to go hunting those heretics on the streets just to spend time!"

Well, I don't need to use the nail bat and mask that I prepared."

Our classmates are exclaiming praises.

Amongst those words, the last one seems to capture my attention for some reason.

(Gender is not an issue? What does this mean?)

☆

It's the day of the Eve itself.

The third years aren't attending because it was nearly time for their exams, and the first years said that they would be negatively affected if they got involved with us (how rude), so they aren't coming. As usual, only the second years are gathered at the gym for the Eve itself.

"Wow! They really did prepare drinks and snacks!"

"Even the decorations have a Christmas feel to them."

The decorations in the gym we entered really can be said to be in a party mood. They also did prepare simply drinks and tidbits.

"But I'm surprised by you, Akihisa. I'd say that back then, you would be rushing over whenever you see food."

"Right now, my food money's kept in check because nee-san's watching me."

What happens next is that the money to buy games and manga vanished. If I have to say, I prefer my previous lifestyle...

"For me, I'm glad that Akihisa-kun's living a healthy lifestyle. But I don't have a reason to make food for me, so I'm a little lonely..."

But thanks to that, the chances of me eating Himeji-san's killer cooking is much less than before. Maybe I have to thank nee-san about that.

"But nobody's really interested in the food."

"Of course. Eating isn't the main point for everyone today."

We're hungry high school students with large appetites, but none of us in the gym is touching the food and drinks. We're just staring at the large Christmas Tree in the middle of it all.

"Hey, what do we do, Sugawa? Do we kill off that bastard Yoshii first?"

"No, wait. Himeji and Shimada won't come to the tree if that happens. Lure the prey in. Wait for it to fall into the trap, and go for the kill."

"I see. So the trick's to use the girls as bait and execute him."

That's the conversation of the <We just want to kiss the girl no matter how much they look down on us> faction centered around Sugawa-kun. That gang's planning on the toughest thing, but with so many people around, I should be most wary of this group.

"What should we do...?"

"What? Anyway? Let's destroy everything!"

"But 'he' hasn't given any instructions..."

That's the conversation of the <event destroying faction>.

Most of the genuine scumbags are part of Sugawa-kun's faction, and the non-scumbags students typically won't come to wreck everything. Because of that, this faction is in the awkward position of being the smallest, and there doesn't seem to be someone leading them. I can't just ignore them, but there's nothing worth being wary against them of.

And then,

"Let's do our best...let's experience a foreign culture."

"...I'll do my best too."

This is the event supporting faction led by Himeji-san and Kirishima-san. Of course, I belong to this faction too.

"Yuuji, what do you think we should do first?"

I ask Yuuji, who's standing beside me.

"Oh, yeah."

Yuuji stares at the Christmas Tree, and answers.

"First, we need to break from the girls and act separately."

"Eh? Why?"

I can't help but blurt. We're aiming to go to the Tree with the girls. If we're to work separately, we can't do so.

Yuuji seems to have predicted that I would answer this, and continues,

"Did you just hear Sugawa's words? if we're going to achieve our aim, we need to first eliminate our enemies and ensure our safety. If things are going as what those guys want, Himeji's going to end up experiencing the foreign culture with someone else now, you know?"

"I-I see! That's how it is."

Well, what Yuuji said is rather correct. Forget about being unable to achieve my own aims; I can't let Himeji-san's lips be taken by anyone else! He's right. We need to first eliminate our enemies.

"Do you understand this too, Shouko? Move over to a safe place for now."

"...But."

"Don't let me explain myself again. The most important thing to me is to ensure your safety."

"...Yes, I got it. Let's go, Mizuki."

"O-okay."

Himeji-san nods lightly, and follows Kirishima-san.

"Now then, Yuuji, how about we clean up this trash once the event starts?"

"Right. You can have the barricade tape and start off first. I'll clean up the scraps."

"OK!"

The basic plan was set. Our attentions are gathered on the signal to indicate the start of the event.

And about five minutes later,

What sounds like Takahashi-sensei's voice can be heard as the announcement comes from the readied speakers.

"The Fumitzuki Gakuen Christmas Experience Program shall begin from now. Please be discreet and have a pleasant Christmas Eve."

"""GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!"""

These words indicated the start of a discreet, enjoyable Eve.

Speaking of which, based on what I just heard, as long as Himeji-san and Kirishima-san aren't around, the chances of any attack from Sugawa-kun and the others, the ones we should be most wary of, should be low now. Doesn't look like I'm in much danger--

""Die, Yoshii, Sakamoto!!""

"Why!?"

Sugawa-kun and Fukumura-kun suddenly attacks Yuuji and me. They don't care about their plan now?

"Calm down, Sugawa-kun! Fukumura-kun! Your plan won't work even if you get rid of us!"

I dodge as I try to calm them down.

""Like hell it won't!""

But my words were rejected by them.

"That's why I say that you're stupid, Yoshii."

"You're seriously too naive there!"

"Wh-what's going on?"

What's wrong with my thinking here? They definitely won't attack us without Himeji-san and the others around. Am I wrong?

"We'll hang you on the Tree to lure Himeji out!"

"So you can just go ahead and die first."

"That's more evil than what I imagined!"

And what's ridiculous is that they're making it sound somewhat logical. Even their personalities have rotted further! Looks like I need to do something now!

"Let's go, Yuuji!"

"Okay!"

A charging Sugawa-kun faces off against me, and standing in front of Fukumura-kun is Yuuji.

""DIE!!!""

I dodge Sugawa-kun's punch, and turn behind him to give hima kick.

On the other hand, Yuuji uses the momentum to grab the enemy and throw him off.

"Wo-woahh..omph!!"

"Oompgh!"

Fukumura-kun was thrown away, and knocked into Sugawa-kun who was kicked away.

And then, when they crashed.

"""Ah"""

"Ow...what?"

"Wh-what's going on now? Why are they looking at us now?"

--They rolled to the bottom of the Christmas Tree...they're there now.

"Sugawa Ryo-kun and Fukumura Kouhei-kun of class 2-F have arrived under the Mistletoe. Please experience the culture together."

Takahashi-sensei calmly announced.

"W-wait, you're kidding, right!?"

"It's impossible for us guys here, right!?"

"There was a notification in the event announcement. Do experience the culture as quickly as possible."

Wait, don't tell me that the 'gender is not an issue' part isn't just for a girl and a guy, but even guy on guy is fine here...!?

"W-wait! This is too ridiculous now!"

"Yeah! I object!"

"Objection overruled. Both of you are to experience the culture as quickly as possible. If you wish to continue resisting, the teachers' summoned beasts will forcibly carry it out."

Since the rules were set, it's useless no matter how Sugawa-kun and Fukumura-kun protests. Well, it's because they wanted to use this rule to kiss girls, and the girls have to accept this, yet they want to arrogantly refuse this. There's no way there can be such a good thing.

"The second warning is over. Since the parties involved have no intention of carrying on, the teachers shall forcefully execute this."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"SOMEBODY! SOMEBODY SAVE ME! THIS IS TOO CRAZY! DON'T COME HERE, SUGAWAA! DON'T COME HERE!!"

The flustered yells happen right when the two faces approach each other.

""...""

And then, their lips met.

...............This is...terrible......

"Hey, look...that Fukumura has passed out..."

"That bastard Sugawa's eyes are gone now...he's now a vegetable, isn't he...?"

The students watching the chaos from afar can be heard whispering.

'"Now then, we have a pair experiencing the culture festival. All other parties, please participate with enthusiasm."

The killing intent that was roaming just a while back is now completely gone, and replacing it is a gloomy atmosphere covering the gym.

"""...(gulps)"""

Everyone present gulps.

Now...we can't move carelessly at all...!

I can feel tension throughout my body.

Or I'll say that thanks to this tension, the sixth sense I've refined for so long unconsciously captures the killing intent coming from behind, and I manage to dodge that attack successfully.

"!"

Whoosh. That kick grazes past the top of my head right when I squat.

While I hastily adjust myself and pull my distance, standing in front of me is the scumbag who's clicking his tongue because his attack missed.

"What are you doing, Yuuji!?"

"Damn it...your sixth sense is ridiculously good, Akihisa!"

That opponent is--the guy who's supposed to be my buddy--Yuuji.

"Stop it, Yuuji! Aren't we having the same aim!?"

"How can we possibly have the same aims!? I never intended to be on your side!"

"Why!? Don't you want to experience the culture with Kirishima-san!?"

You're a guy too, and you're in love with Kirishima-san. There's no reason for you to be unwilling!

"This isn't a question of whether I want to do this, Akihisa! Well, I don't think you'll understand when you confessed so loudly it could be heard from anywhere near the school."

"W-what?"

"--Isn't it just a punishment game for any ordinary person to do that sort of thing in front of so many people?"

...Ohh, now that you mention it, yeah.

"I get it, Yuuji."

"Yeah. In other words, we just need to deal with everyone watching, right?"

"You don't have any right to criticize Sugawa-kun and the others!"

Yuuji raises his fist. Ugh!...Negotiation breakdown!

I'm fine though! A scumbag's rebellion is nothing in the face of so many in our faction!

"<Event supporting team>! End this trash now!"

I shout out.

But in response of my shout, everyone around me

"...Huh?"

Doesn't seem to be responding to my shout. What's going on?

"Pfft...you're really an idiot, Akihisa."

"What the?"

"Did you forget that the central members of your faction Shouko and Himeji aren't here?"

Suddenly, I understand what Yuuji meant at the start of the event...he sent Himeji-san and Kirishima-san not to ensure their safety, but to get rid of them...!

"No way, Yuuji...! And I still trusted you as a friend...you're an ally...!"

"Ha! Thanks for trusting me so much, Akihisa! I'm against this event to begin with!"

How cruel...! My trust was actually betrayed...!

"Does that mean that the bug I set just in case comes in handy now!?"

"...Yuuji, I heard everything."

"Woah? Shouko!? Akihisa you bastard! You didn't trust me at all, did you!?"

"...Yuuji, don't you dare run away."

Yuuji's scampering like a rabbit, and Kirishima-san's giving pursuit from behind. Now then, I've sealed Yuuji for now.

"Alright, up next, I'll--hm?"

"...don't you dare escape, Akihisa."

Another killing intent, and this time it's from Muttsurini holding a taser.

"Impossible! Why are you on that side too, Muttsurini!?"

"...Akihisa, you won't understand."

Muttsurini's glaring at me with vengeful eyes.

"...The pain of this body cursed by blood whenever there's a good opportunity."

While he does look decent, the main thing is that he'll have a nosebleed whenever he's about to kiss someone.

"Ah, I get it. If you get too close, you will touch a girl's breasts, right?"

"...(Shakes head furiously)"

Muttsurini continues to deny with his old usual self. If this guy's doing this action, he's basically admitting to it.

"You don't have to give up, Muttsurini. You just need to get together with a girl who's flat-chested."

"...Are you talking about Shimada?"

Now even Muttsurini's thinking is that 'flat-chested = Minami'. I can't help but find this pitiful.

"...She has someone she likes."

"...Ah..."

Muttsurini's words and eyes cause me to let out a strange squeal. Do-don't say such embarrassing things now...

"N-no, isn't there someone else?"

"...Hideyoshi's a friend."

Ahh, yeah, well, Hideyoshi's rather flat--no!

"Isn't there anyone else other than Hideyoshi?"

Muttsurini then goes through a quick thought.

After that, he seems to have thought of something, and says to me,

"...Akihisa."

"Yeah?"

"...Going for Shimada's sister is a crime."

I'm thinking that Muttsurini's brain is dangerous to actually think like that.

"Seriously. Why are you having such tunnel vision--"

"...Shut up. I'll kill you."

While I'm focusing on talking, Muttsurini charges at me with his agility and the taser in his hand. I-I'm doomed--!

Right when I'm a step slow in my reaction, thinking that I'll be hit by Muttsurini.

"Well then, can I bother you for a while, Muttsurini-kun?"

"...!?"

Somebody's voice can be heard from the side, and his actions immediately stop.

"Phoaa!"

Using that rare chance, I roll aside to dodge that attack. That was real close.

"Thanks for helping, Kudou-san. You saved me."

"No no. It's not much."

Helping me here is Muttsurini's nemesis, Kudou Aiko-san of A class."

"...Kudou Aiko, what are you doing here?"

"Ahaha. It's nothing much."

While Muttsurini jumps back and warily guards himself, Kudou-san raises her chest, and laughs.

"Well, my breasts are really small, you know?"

""...""

Muttsurini and I are left speechless. This really is a troubling confession.

"...What are you trying to say?"

"Hm...well."

She places a finger at her chin, and chirps,

"Do you want to experience the foreign culture with me?"

"...The presence of death looms...!"

Muttsurini rolls aside in his panic, and flying right by him was a ball point pen and a penknife.

"""Tch."""

Also, there's the loud sound of clicking tongues around us. The FFF Inquisition won't allow traitors to exist.

"...Kudou Aiko...ar-are you trying to kill me...?"

"Not all. I"m just wondering if it's time we should at least end the proposition when we first met?"

"...What do you mean?"

"Do you need to ask?"

While Muttsurini keeps his guard up, Kudou-san takes a step forward.

"--Shall we have practical health education?"

"...Killing intent...!"

Muttsurini dodges the assault of stationery that's definitely heavier than the last time.

While he continues to keep his guard up, Kudou-san then continues happily,

"You don't have to be so nervous, Muttsurini-kun. I'm different from you in that I do have lots of practical experience."

"...This really isn't good...!"

"Ahaha. It's just a normal culture experience. No need to be shy about it!"

Muttsurini turns around and runs off, while Kudou-san continues to pursue him. Well...if it's Kudou-san, maybe Muttsurini can pass through this safely without a nosebleed. Now that's a little interesting experience...though I'm so envious I want to kill him.

"Well, whatever. Looking at this, Muttsurini will have the option of either bleeding out due to nosebleed or be executed by the FFF Inquisition."

In any case, it's better to see Muttsurini retreat first.

"Now then, what shall I do."

"Push the tree down! Once we're done with that, the event can't possibly continue!"

"Get all the girls to the Tree, no matter whether we have to beg or lie to them!"

Looking at this, I can take down the anti-event and unscrupulous factions down at once.

☆