On a Godless Planet:Volume1B Preface
Inner Cover
She Really Did It
Tachikawa had a lot of movie theaters. Shifu had thought it would be nice to casually pop in and watch something before or after they went shopping, but…
“Hmm. With a title like Apache, I was expecting something about America’s pioneer period, so that attack helicopter movie took me by surprise.”
“Its English title was Fire Birds, which feels even less explanatory to me. And I feel like that was a helicopter version of Top Gun or something.”
“I-I didn’t really understand that Gremlins 2 movie we saw before, but it was still fun.”
“I loved how it was even more over-the-top than the first one.”
<Incidentally, Gremlins 2 takes place in Clamp Tower, which belongs to a rich man named Clamp. Given who that was based on, I wonder if that was meant as a form of foreshadowing for later.>
What are you even talking about?
At any rate, it did help to have Balancer as a guide or exposition machine. There was a lot they did not know about the food rules and such, so they could sometimes end up getting into unwanted conflicts with the gods of other mythologies based on their religious rules.
They were currently taking a break in the café across the road from the Tachikawa Central movie theater. They were talking about having a cookout party the following day since they had to help the Mesopotamian group move in.
The girls were discussing what they should buy as a moving in gift, but…
“So anyway, how are things between you and Sumeragi-chan?”
“Eh!?”
“Well, um, it’s normal and the same as always. The most I hear from the neighboring room is him making weird noises or the thud of him suddenly falling to the floor.”
“How are we defining ‘normal’ here?”
Hey, everyone has their own definition.
“But, anyway, have you done the thing yet? Y’know, running into him in front of your rooms.”
“You really did that?”
“Um, why the very different moods when asking about that?”
“One of us is excited to hear about it and the other is asking if you’re sane?”
<That certainly was an awful spectacle.>
“Wait, wait, wait.”
“Oh? What was it like?”
“Well, we returned to the apartment building we use as a dorm and then he went into his room first.”
“And when you started going to yours, the idiot came back out and you ran into each other? But you wouldn’t have had any luggage, so it doesn’t quite fit the scenario, does it?”
“We changed the scenario to say I had already put my luggage in the room, gone out to go shopping, and then forgot my wallet in my room.”
“Why does that idiot get so detailed about the most unnecessary things?”
“Anyway, I was supposed to wait three minutes and then climb the stairs, right?”
“Why are you asking us? You’re the one telling the story.”
“Just roll with it. So you waited three minutes? Okay, the three minutes are up and you’re climbing those stairs! What happened next?”
“Yes, I was climbing those stairs, and, um…”
<That idiot was doing squats in his room to build up some kind of power, but he ran out of patience after 2 minutes and 50 seconds.>
“Yahoo! I can’t wait a second longerrrr!”
“So, um, I was rushing since I was a little overeager as well, but then the door flew open in front of me and he charged out.”
“Wait, don’t tell me…”
“His head got stuck between my chest and the open door, so instead of a Kabe-Don, it was more like a Boobs-Don or a Door-Don. After trembling in a weird way, he fell to his knees and I have to admit I panicked.”
“So could we call your boobs a deadly weapon?”
“…”
“Oh, don’t worry. I am not irritated about the boobs part. I am irritated at the thought of having to do a rollback for that, though.”
“Ohh, Kuwajiri-chan, that’s awfully mature of you. Anyway, what happened next?”
“When he woke up, I said ‘well, we screwed that up, didn’t we?’ and he said…”
“Screwed it up!? Don’t be ridiculous! We boobsed it up! Oh, excuse me. What I meant to say is that it was a critical hit! And that’s A-OK from time to time!”
“I wish he had died.”
“I mean, if he’s satisfied, I guess that’s fine. So what happened next?”
“Well,” said Senpai with a nod.
“We decided we had an excuse to do it again later if we said we screwed it up this time, but then I realized we’ll meet each other outside our rooms every morning and we can try out all sorts of things.”
“…”
“Oh, don’t worry. I can bear with it.”
“Saying that’s only making me more worried.”
Tooru’s Belt Page
“So about Tooru’s belt. I feel like they would sell that thing in stores. And I think they had a lot of things like that in this era.”
“I love when a transformation belt has a ton of gimmicks, but sometimes the batteries are so heavy it slides down on you.”
“I know what you mean. And when you use all the gimmicks that light up and it starts to heat up, you end up thinking, ‘wait, am I in trouble here?’ ”
“Mayyyybe equipment that makes sparrrrks or that’s made of wool would be a baaaad idea.”
“Eh? Eh? So when I hear a weird mechanical buzzing sound coming from Sumeragi-kun’s room at night, is he using a transformation belt?”
“Sumeragi, what have you been doing?”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait! You could call it a transformation belt of sorts! When it spins, it changes form and makes noises! Noises from my mouth! Ahahhhn! Wait, no! It’s not that! Oh, and to change the subject, how did you like wearing Kamen Raidou’s transformation belt?”
“Well, when Thor’s Hammer separated from it, it popped up and hit the bottom of my chest, which popped it right back in. I’m pretty sure that’s a design defect.”
“Wh-why is that so easy to imagine!?”
Story
In Tachikawa, Tokyo, of 1990, the terraforming participants engage in some chatting and some action for a wholly unpredictable story. Or maybe it is predictable. Who knows.
Character
Sumeragi Izumi
Protagonist. High School Year 2. Game club member. Main consoles are the Mega Drive, the PC-98, and the MSX2. Big boobs worshiper. Has no filter whatsoever. Seriously, none. Tends to make strange noises. Background noise on legs. Is something of a problem, but isn’t a bad person. It’s fine. Currently a girl.
Senpai
Senpai. High School Year 3. Game club member? Has difficulty saying no. 175cm tall and busty. Seems like the gentle type but actually has an odd amount of energy. Seems to use her flustered expression more than the normal one. Is a Shinto god, but her identity is a secret.
Raidou Tooru
High School Year 3. Game club member. 195cm tall. The reliable big brother type. Surprisingly, intellectual. Gets worked up playing games, but isn’t very good at them. Main consoles are the Famicom and the X68. A real fighter. Big boobs worshiper. Is Thor, Norse god of war, and it looks like he might finally get to do some fighting.
Shifu Saku
High School Year 3. Game club member. 185cm busty blonde. Raidou’s wife. The accepting mom type. Thor’s wife Sif from Norse Mythology and also his other wife Jarnsaxa. A harvest god.
Kuwajiri Tsubomi
High School Year 2. Game club member. 155cm tall. An intellectual with a sharp tongue. Something like a little sister to Raidou and Shifu? Good at games that don’t require reflexes. Kvasir, Norse god of knowledge. Has fairly high blood alcohol content.
Yomoji Shinsei
High School Year 3. Game club member. 205cm tall. Club leader. Stretches his words when he talks. Crazily tolerant yet intolerant. Absurd. Monotheistic god. The four letters one. Harsh with his believers.
Balancer
An AI made by humanity and a 30cm square. Currently works as a manager for the terraforming. However, most of their authority has been transferred to the gods, so he ignores an awful lot for a manager. Gets into a lot of insult battles with Sumeragi. Also provides exposition. This 90s world is a data world known as a Divine World that Balancer created.
Omokane Yatsui
High School Year 3. Shinto Representative in the Divine World. 170cm tall. Is Omoikane, god of knowledge. Is also the Library Committee Head and works behind the scenes for Shinto.
Kubiko Scarecrow
High School Year 3. Library Committee member in glasses and Kuebiko, Shinto god of knowledge and security. 175cm tall. Is only at the Earthly God level, but acts as Omokane’s overseer. Busty.
Sugawara Tenma
High School Year 1. 150cm tall. Is Sugawara no Michizane, Shinto god of learning, and also a lightning god and negotiation god, so she is multitalented.
Kunugi Takeshi
High School Year 3. 180cm tall. Art Club Head. The bandanna wrapped all around him gives him a distinctive look. Close with Raidou and the others and helps out the game club group. From Egyptian Mythology. Fairly important.
Shamhat
Temple prostitute god from Mesopotamian Mythology. Originally human. 160cm tall. Down for anything if the price is right. More of a worrier than you would think and likes to help out. Busty.
Bilgamesh
Half-god half-human from Mesopotamian Mythology. 190cm tall. Tucks his shirt in. Later known as Gilgamesh, which is the better known name. DIY’d his equipment, created laws as a king, and did a lot of other stuff while doing a lot of “stuff” with Enkidu.
Kidou En
Busty. Enkidu, a half-god half-human from Mesopotamian Mythology. Also known as Ki. 180cm tall. Is Bilgamesh’s partner and is about as powerful as him, but she currently uses spells more often. Was originally a guy, but made herself into a girl.
Eshita Inana
Appears in this volume. An important member of a certain mythology, but is fairly useless. Learns to love Karamucho.
Interlude
“Ohh, looks like we’ve got a battle after the bath. And we’re up against some big names too.”
“U-um, if you work up a sweat fighting, will you take another bath afterwards?”
“Senpai-san, you aren’t too worried about the battle, are you?”
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