On a Godless Planet:Volume 1B
Novel Illustrations[edit]
Inner Cover[edit]
She Really Did It
Tachikawa had a lot of movie theaters. Shifu had thought it would be nice to casually pop in and watch something before or after they went shopping, but…
“Hmm. With a title like Apache, I was expecting something about America’s pioneer period, so that attack helicopter movie took me by surprise.”
“Its English title was Fire Birds, which feels even less explanatory to me. And I feel like that was a helicopter version of Top Gun or something.”
“I-I didn’t really understand that Gremlins 2 movie we saw before, but it was still fun.”
“I loved how it was even more over-the-top than the first one.”
<Incidentally, Gremlins 2 takes place in Clamp Tower, which belongs to a rich man named Clamp. Given who that was based on, I wonder if that was meant as a form of foreshadowing for later.>
What are you even talking about?
At any rate, it did help to have Balancer as a guide or exposition machine. There was a lot they did not know about the food rules and such, so they could sometimes end up getting into unwanted conflicts with the gods of other mythologies based on their religious rules.
They were currently taking a break in the café across the road from the Tachikawa Central movie theater. They were talking about having a cookout party the following day since they had to help the Mesopotamian group move in.
The girls were discussing what they should buy as a moving in gift, but…
“So anyway, how are things between you and Sumeragi-chan?”
“Eh!?”
“Well, um, it’s normal and the same as always. The most I hear from the neighboring room is him making weird noises or the thud of him suddenly falling to the floor.”
“How are we defining ‘normal’ here?”
Hey, everyone has their own definition.
“But, anyway, have you done the thing yet? Y’know, running into him in front of your rooms.”
“You really did that?”
“Um, why the very different moods when asking about that?”
“One of us is excited to hear about it and the other is asking if you’re sane?”
<That certainly was an awful spectacle.>
“Wait, wait, wait.”
“Oh? What was it like?”
“Well, we returned to the apartment building we use as a dorm and then he went into his room first.”
“And when you started going to yours, the idiot came back out and you ran into each other? But you wouldn’t have had any luggage, so it doesn’t quite fit the scenario, does it?”
“We changed the scenario to say I had already put my luggage in the room, gone out to go shopping, and then forgot my wallet in my room.”
“Why does that idiot get so detailed about the most unnecessary things?”
“Anyway, I was supposed to wait three minutes and then climb the stairs, right?”
“Why are you asking us? You’re the one telling the story.”
“Just roll with it. So you waited three minutes? Okay, the three minutes are up and you’re climbing those stairs! What happened next?”
“Yes, I was climbing those stairs, and, um…”
<That idiot was doing squats in his room to build up some kind of power, but he ran out of patience after 2 minutes and 50 seconds.>
“Yahoo! I can’t wait a second longerrrr!”
“So, um, I was rushing since I was a little overeager as well, but then the door flew open in front of me and he charged out.”
“Wait, don’t tell me…”
“His head got stuck between my chest and the open door, so instead of a Kabe-Don, it was more like a Boobs-Don or a Door-Don. After trembling in a weird way, he fell to his knees and I have to admit I panicked.”
“So could we call your boobs a deadly weapon?”
“…”
“Oh, don’t worry. I am not irritated about the boobs part. I am irritated at the thought of having to do a rollback for that, though.”
“Ohh, Kuwajiri-chan, that’s awfully mature of you. Anyway, what happened next?”
“When he woke up, I said ‘well, we screwed that up, didn’t we?’ and he said…”
“Screwed it up!? Don’t be ridiculous! We boobsed it up! Oh, excuse me. What I meant to say is that it was a critical hit! And that’s A-OK from time to time!”
“I wish he had died.”
“I mean, if he’s satisfied, I guess that’s fine. So what happened next?”
“Well,” said Senpai with a nod.
“We decided we had an excuse to do it again later if we said we screwed it up this time, but then I realized we’ll meet each other outside our rooms every morning and we can try out all sorts of things.”
“…”
“Oh, don’t worry. I can bear with it.”
“Saying that’s only making me more worried.”
Tooru’s Belt Page[edit]
“So about Tooru’s belt. I feel like they would sell that thing in stores. And I think they had a lot of things like that in this era.”
“I love when a transformation belt has a ton of gimmicks, but sometimes the batteries are so heavy it slides down on you.”
“I know what you mean. And when you use all the gimmicks that light up and it starts to heat up, you end up thinking, ‘wait, am I in trouble here?’ ”
“Mayyyybe equipment that makes sparrrrks or that’s made of wool would be a baaaad idea.”
“Eh? Eh? So when I hear a weird mechanical buzzing sound coming from Sumeragi-kun’s room at night, is he using a transformation belt?”
“Sumeragi, what have you been doing?”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait! You could call it a transformation belt of sorts! When it spins, it changes form and makes noises! Noises from my mouth! Ahahhhn! Wait, no! It’s not that! Oh, and to change the subject, how did you like wearing Kamen Raidou’s transformation belt?”
“Well, when Thor’s Hammer separated from it, it popped up and hit the bottom of my chest, which popped it right back in. I’m pretty sure that’s a design defect.”
“Wh-why is that so easy to imagine!?”
Color spreads[edit]
Story[edit]
In Tachikawa, Tokyo, of 1990, the terraforming participants engage in some chatting and some action for a wholly unpredictable story. Or maybe it is predictable. Who knows.
Character[edit]
Sumeragi Izumi
Protagonist. High School Year 2. Game club member. Main consoles are the Mega Drive, the PC-98, and the MSX2. Big boobs worshiper. Has no filter whatsoever. Seriously, none. Tends to make strange noises. Background noise on legs. Is something of a problem, but isn’t a bad person. It’s fine. Currently a girl.
Senpai
Senpai. High School Year 3. Game club member? Has difficulty saying no. 175cm tall and busty. Seems like the gentle type but actually has an odd amount of energy. Seems to use her flustered expression more than the normal one. Is a Shinto god, but her identity is a secret.
Raidou Tooru
High School Year 3. Game club member. 195cm tall. The reliable big brother type. Surprisingly, intellectual. Gets worked up playing games, but isn’t very good at them. Main consoles are the Famicom and the X68. A real fighter. Big boobs worshiper. Is Thor, Norse god of war, and it looks like he might finally get to do some fighting.
Shifu Saku
High School Year 3. Game club member. 185cm busty blonde. Raidou’s wife. The accepting mom type. Thor’s wife Sif from Norse Mythology and also his other wife Jarnsaxa. A harvest god.
Kuwajiri Tsubomi
High School Year 2. Game club member. 155cm tall. An intellectual with a sharp tongue. Something like a little sister to Raidou and Shifu? Good at games that don’t require reflexes. Kvasir, Norse god of knowledge. Has fairly high blood alcohol content.
Yomoji Shinsei
High School Year 3. Game club member. 205cm tall. Club leader. Stretches his words when he talks. Crazily tolerant yet intolerant. Absurd. Monotheistic god. The four letters one. Harsh with his believers.
Balancer
An AI made by humanity and a 30cm square. Currently works as a manager for the terraforming. However, most of their authority has been transferred to the gods, so he ignores an awful lot for a manager. Gets into a lot of insult battles with Sumeragi. Also provides exposition. This 90s world is a data world known as a Divine World that Balancer created.
Omokane Yatsui
High School Year 3. Shinto Representative in the Divine World. 170cm tall. Is Omoikane, god of knowledge. Is also the Library Committee Head and works behind the scenes for Shinto.
Kubiko Scarecrow
High School Year 3. Library Committee member in glasses and Kuebiko, Shinto god of knowledge and security. 175cm tall. Is only at the Earthly God level, but acts as Omokane’s overseer. Busty.
Sugawara Tenma
High School Year 1. 150cm tall. Is Sugawara no Michizane, Shinto god of learning, and also a lightning god and negotiation god, so she is multitalented.
Kunugi Takeshi
High School Year 3. 180cm tall. Art Club Head. The bandanna wrapped all around him gives him a distinctive look. Close with Raidou and the others and helps out the game club group. From Egyptian Mythology. Fairly important.
Shamhat
Temple prostitute god from Mesopotamian Mythology. Originally human. 160cm tall. Down for anything if the price is right. More of a worrier than you would think and likes to help out. Busty.
Bilgamesh
Half-god half-human from Mesopotamian Mythology. 190cm tall. Tucks his shirt in. Later known as Gilgamesh, which is the better known name. DIY’d his equipment, created laws as a king, and did a lot of other stuff while doing a lot of “stuff” with Enkidu.
Kidou En
Busty. Enkidu, a half-god half-human from Mesopotamian Mythology. Also known as Ki. 180cm tall. Is Bilgamesh’s partner and is about as powerful as him, but she currently uses spells more often. Was originally a guy, but made herself into a girl.
Eshita Inana
Appears in this volume. An important member of a certain mythology, but is fairly useless. Learns to love Karamucho.
Interlude[edit]
“Ohh, looks like we’ve got a battle after the bath. And we’re up against some big names too.”
“U-um, if you work up a sweat fighting, will you take another bath afterwards?”
“Senpai-san, you aren’t too worried about the battle, are you?”
Chapter 22: Dangerous Seed 02[edit]
A confused panic sets in.
Bilgamesh nodded toward Omokane.
“Thank you for arranging this.”
“Does that mean you’ve explained your reasons to Omokane?”
“It does,” confirmed Omokane.
“I must make the most beneficial decision for Shinto, so if you two lose, I will negotiate with them and keep things as beneficial as possible…while having them take over the more physical duties where Shinto is lacking.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
Shifu placed a hand on her chin.
It was true they were good at those physical duties, but the Norse gods also saw it as mercenary work.
“Since our terraforming got through the first stage pretty early, the other gods sent us here so we wouldn’t pull further ahead and as a way to wear us down. Also, I think that was more just the gods in general than the DC in particular.”
“Well, we’re not so much acting on the DC’s behalf as we are-…”
“Ki, do not say too much. It would shame me to earn sympathy.”
Did that mean they had their reasons?
No, thought Raidou. Every god has their reasons. Which led to something:
“Politics, huh?”
“You could call it that. Because that is what is it.”
With that, Bilgamesh stepped back. But not to retreat. He was simply putting distance between them.
His partner Ki moved behind him while waving toward Shifu.
“It all comes down to this:
"–––Peaceful resolutions are for those who do not wish to fight.
“–––Peaceful resolutions are for those without military might.
“–––Peaceful resolutions are a postwar sight.
“So where do you stand on this issue, Norse gods?”
“Ask our sponsors.”
“Yes,” said Omokane.
“Shinto has yet to gain a real manifestation of a purely physical type. That is why we have outsourced most of our fighting and security to the Norse gods, but that means something else here.”
She said it.
“Raidou-kun, Shifu-kun. No matter how much you two lose here, it will not harm Shinto. Because this is all outsourced. But you are free to fight if that is what you wish to do.”
“That’s a little confusing, so can you dumb it down a little?”
“Go nuts.”
Hell, yeah. We’ve got permission.
●
Kuwajiri grabbed the screen.
“Balancer? Aren’t you responsible for letting this happen?”
<It is admittedly a little contrary to the name of Balancer, but I generally take a neutral and indifferent stance toward the gods’ non-terraforming activities. To me, the gods primarily exist for the terraforming, so as long as the are doing their job, the rest can be handled by their politics.>
“Then did you know those two were coming?”
<I know of others who came here as well. We do not actively track their actions out of respect for their privacy, but we do record all the “changes” in this world caused by their presence here, their use of transportation, their use of various facilities, their consumption of food, and their breathing. …But information concerning them, actively tracking them, and whether or not they are a threat to all of you is a separate matter. Because we are well-made AIs.>
There were times like this that reminded you this being was neither human nor god.
They could completely detach themselves from the emotions and risks of specific phenomena.
They were subjectively acquiring all forms of information and facts, but they could objectively ignore them. They were focusing only on the parts that were necessary for the Shinto terraforming.
Was that what Kuwajiri and the others mistook for emotions and a personality?
“Honestly…”
She decided to stop being so pessimistic. She did not want to assume things were bad. Wisdom was a flat thing, so her decisions based on it should be the same.
Balancer’s way of thinking and looking at the world was digital, so it was different from them. But…
“Does that mean you are not all-knowing when speaking with us?”
<Thinking of it like that should lead to fewer misunderstandings.>
Then it was not a problem.
Balancer understood this as well as they did. Both sides were working toward that end.
“Have you appeared to the other side and spoken with them like you do with us?”
<Yes, it was like that during the virtual manifestation days. I am neutral toward the gods, so I will respond if they seek my help. But…they have not called for me since arriving here.>
What did that mean?
“Shifu-senpai, Raidou-senpai, there is more to this than meets the eye.”
●
Kuwajiri saw her upperclassmen’s responses.
“Yeah, I imagine so. Hence the politics.”
“It’s time for some physical politics.”
She knew what they meant.
This opponent was powerful. They had the strength needed to get their opinion through.
That meant they did not need to descend to the Shinto group’s level. They only had to use their strength.
There was only one case where they would not do that.
“When we resist them.”
“That’s about the size of it.”
Then the rest was simple.
“It’s time to teach that older pair what politics is all about.”
●
Just as Raidou prepared to fight, Ki spoke a single word.
“Press.”
Too soon to even call “immediately”, the bathhouse behind the Norse group was crushed.
This was not a collapse or destruction.
It was crushed as if evenly pressed down on from above.
“Kyahh!?”
Kuwajiri had been in the entrance, so she ran out while holding Balancer. But the white building grew shorter right behind her.
None of it was broken. The fogged glass windows, the metal window frames, the columns, the walls, and everything else were simply vertically compressed.
There was a sound: a hard straining similar to an empty can being crushed underfoot.
But that was all.
Ki sighed and spoke.
“You have a pretty overpowered god on your side, so I felt like a warning was in order. I want to make a clear division here so he doesn’t get involved in the duel.”
●
This is insane, thought Kuwajiri.
“She really just crushed the building out of the blue!?”
Crushing a building was simple enough for gods of their divine rank, but Ki had not even hesitated.
She had decided doing so would not cause any problems.
“You really need to stop making assumptions like-”
When Kuwajiri turned around, she saw the bathhouse there.
In its original form.
…Eh?
It was unharmed.
●
This was weird.
The building behind her had been crushed, so she had frantically escaped from the entrance.
But the white building in front of her now had taken no damage whatsoever.
“Umm.”
“Wow.”
She heard a displeased comment from their opponent behind her.
And then it happened.
Someone burst from the boy’s side curtain and struck a Y-pose.
“♪Absurrrrrd♪”
A moment later, a kilometer-long meteor fell from the heavens and struck 15m in front of her.
●
The mass that hit weighed approximately 1.4 trillion tons.
The Balancer-created Divine World used its bare minimum of physical laws to blast up the earth’s crust over a radius of about 10km and create a giant crater 2km deep at the center.
It had a diameter of approximately 20km.
The circle from Sunakawa of northern Tachikawa, to Kichiouji in the east, Akigawa in the west, Iruma in the north, and Osawa to the south was utterly destroyed. The shockwave produced by the kilometer-long mass first struck everything over that kilometer. While the shockwave spread out as a side effect of the hit, air flowed into the vacuum created in the center, producing a storm. Everything was blown away from the landing point, but then it was all sucked upwards, tossing it into the air.
The tremor that ran through the crust shook the ground like a wave. In a 10km radius from there, the surface itself became a “wave” with a height difference of more than a hundred meters.
As a result, the crust, the buildings, and everything else were blown away and folded up.
Everything was literally stacked on top of each other.
In Tokyo Bay, the tremor tossed the seawater in the air all the way down to the shallow sea floor. On the coasts from the Uraga Channel to Yokohama and from Kanagawa to Shizuoka, an immense amount of spray and the ground were thrown into the air.
From Chichibu north of Okutama to Mt. Fuji in the south, the mountain range was shaken so badly it caused landslides and several dozen meters of the Izu Peninsula’s base broke off toward the ocean.
The sound moved well past the audible range, the wind blew towns and the earth into the air, those violent gusts produced even more wind, and bottom to top circulation was created within the crater.
The wind repeatedly sent dirt and dust skyward just like the many waves on the beach.
The structures on the ground were sent more than 20km high and some of them even reached satellite orbit. Whether they were pebbles or buildings, they were all burned by the adiabatic compression, so they poured down like lava rain.
The scattered water – mainly groundwater – was also sent into the sky, where the shockwave hit it and vaporized it.
The water became a heat wave which sent stormy clouds racing along and electrification crackled along the crust’s minerals that were spread through the air along with the dust.
That light that raced freely through the heavens had long been attributed to a god.
Lightning had formed.
Below the wind, rain, clouds, and repeated lightning strikes, Tokyo and southern Kantou’s crust had been destroyed and split to a deep level. With its water gone, Tokyo Bay flowed out through the Uraga Channel and into the ocean trench and the coast leading to Atami accelerated as it began to fall toward the Japan Trench.
All these actions reached Mt. Fuji’s mountain range where the red light of magma was visible through the split parts of the earth. The side effects had already reached all of Japan, the shockwave swept across all of Kantou, and the Aomori region began to split apart despite escaping the power of the crust.
But someone still lived in what had once been Tokyo, Japan, despite all this.
They were the gods.
Most of them were within defense barriers automatically created by their individual divine territories. Others were protected by the barriers of the facilities they happened to be inside and struggled against the continuing explosive blasts.
It was truly cataclysmic.
Every single one of the gods knew exactly who had done this.
“It was that ill-tempered god, wasn’t it!?”
And everyone heard a single voice.
The voice came from the stormy heavens and it was accompanied by a great beam of light that sounded like trumpets and small bells.
“♪Absurrrrrd♪”
Then the world returned to normal.
●
“Therrrre’s nothing like coffee milk after a bath. I love driiiinking it with a strawwww.”
“Ah ha ha ha ha ha! You’re the best, Yomoji-chan!”
My wife has nerves of steel to laugh at this, thought Raidou.
They were in front of the bathhouse near the train station in Sunakawa.
They could hear the busy sounds of a pachinko parlor in the distance, so the gods playing some pachinko inside must have noticed the cataclysm and opened the door to see what was going on.
No one had been harmed, but…
“Kuwajiri, stand back a bit.”
“Eh? Oh, sorry, I can’t. My legs are a little too weak to move after that.”
He looked to see Kuwajiri sitting with her back against the wall next to the bathhouse’s entrance. She held Balancer in her hands and that screen was weakly bent over for once.
<Sigh, this is the problem with you gods.>
“C’mon, I need to get it out of my syyyystem every once in a while.”
<That took care of a large chunk of the structure materials, so please do it in the real world next time.>
“Hmmm, sorry about that. Iiiit’s just that all my attaaaacks are map-level AoE.”
Simply put, Yomoji had used that attack to show how much more powerful he was than their opponents.
And by using up his fuel so he could not do it again, he was showing his neutral stance here.
And that meant he was neutral toward his allies as well.
“Sorry about this.”
“Wellll, I was mosssstly ready for this.”
After that short exchange, someone burst out of the women’s bath.
“Hell yeah! The school was destroyed!? I’m a free girl now!”
●
“Hm?” groaned Ki with a tilt of the head. Her partner was also puzzled.
“Ki, is that who I think it is?”
“Yes, it’s the girl we met this morning.”
She had sensed a few presences beside Yomoji inside the bathhouse when she crushed it before.
There had been two presences on the level of household gods and one extremely weak one. So…
“I thought it was the bathhouse’s guardian deity or something.”
She was not all that familiar with the Shinto rules, but gods of that type were generally stuck in a specific location, or Balancer had had allowed them to move around so they could act as one of the “citizens”.
So she had assumed the girl they met in the morning was a small god playing a “citizen”.
But then why was she in the same bathhouse as the gods preparing to duel them?
“Could she be a god from a different mythology like us? She could have been coming from a bathhouse on a phase different from Shinto or ours.”
“I haven’t actually seen her status, but she just has to be Shinto to be wearing the new style uniform of this primarily-Shinto Divine World while at such a low divine rank.”
The normal assumption would be that this was a coincidence.
She was Shinto, so she had been in the same phase barrier bathhouse as the Shinto-related gods. But…
“There is one other possibility I need to reject.”
She spoke to the Shinto Representative standing with her arms crossed next to the vending machine behind them.
“I have a question, Omokane.”
“Do you promise not to be mad?”
“You’re saying I’m right, aren’t you?”
“Ki? So she is-…?”
“Yes,” she said.
“She’s like me. Similar to how I became a woman later on to match you, she must have originally been a guy.”
●
“You pulled a fast one on us there.”
Ki looked to the girl making various meaningless poses in front of the bathhouse.
“Information on the human named Sumeragi Izumi has reached all the different gods, so we would be able to find him immediately if we performed a search. And since we have the authority to detect humans, we wouldn’t even need the search.”
But…
“You changed his sex, so he would be ‘someone else’. And there was another trick here too, wasn’t there?”
“What might that be?”
“The god chosen as her partner is casting a continuous divine protection on her. …We mistook her for a household god because of the divine rank we sensed there, but that was coming from her partner god.”
That was a form of camouflage.
But why had they done that?
Ki’s partner gave the answer.
“Was it to delay the DC inspectors from reaching Sumeragi Izumi as much as possible?”
“Yes, it was meant to fool the DC inspectors, but it seems to have worked even better than expected.”
The girl added an “indeed”.
“We had a convenient rollback opportunity on hand, so I pulled some strings behind the scenes. Without that, this would probably have all been settled this morning.”
The ferrets on Omokane’s shoulders looked up and gave a cry.
That seemed to be truth of the matter.
●
“Um, Kuwajiri-chan? So what happened with Sumeragi-chan was all a setup?”
“Ehh!? This is the first I’ve heard of any of this!”
“…”
“I was just sitting there thinking I had accidentally caused all this. ”
“…”
“Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”
“Eh!? What!? What’s going on!? Why are you looking at me like some poor, pathetic creature!? Did I miss out on some fun!? Hey! Kuwajiri! Say something!”
“You need to thank me.”
“Huh!? What’ve you done that’s worthy of my thanks!? My thanks goes to the earth’s gravity and the ups and downs of the ground that make Senpai’s boobs jiggle, so that means you’re worth less than some ups and downs! Which makes sense since you don’t have any ‘ups and downs’ of your own.”
“Hey, Sumeragi-chan? Look this way.”
●
Bilgamesh saw the feminized human fly 70m before excitedly running back.
“Woohoo! You’re amazing, Shifu-senpai! I can go so much further without a rock ground! Again, again!”
What in the world were they doing?
But someone new appeared from the bathhouse’s women’s bath.
“H-huh!? I thought something horrifying had happened, but now everything’s fine?”
“Who is that?”
“An unidentified goddess with low divine rank. She must be the one.”
The girl wore the new style uniform of the Shinto-related gods, but based on her long back hair and build…
“Omokane Yatsui, she does not at all look like ‘the most powerful’.”
“No, I imagine not. And I doubt she will participate in this duel.”
“Is she not a war god?”
“No, she is not even close to being that. You have experience with such things, don’t you?”
Bilgamesh raised his eyebrows at that question.
“If you are trying to blackmail us with some information, then we will make you a target of this duel too.”
“Oh, my apologies. I have a bad habit of forgetting what I ultimately want and instead going with what is most entertaining. …Good luck. What I ultimately want here is a victory for Shinto.”
Next to him, Ki took a half step back and nodded.
That settled things.
“I demand a duel!”
These were the rules.
“Mesopotamian Gods Bilgamesh and Enkidu challenge Norse God Representatives Thor and Jarnsaxa who are temporarily working for Shinto.”
●
It’s finally happening, thought Raidou with a smile.
“So you show respect to the opponents you want and try to crush everyone else, huh? That’s a pretty biased form of courtesy…or would you call it justice?”
“We can discuss those things once the duel is complete. All of this is necessary.”
“Is that so?” he replied before the idiot raised her voice while being healed behind them.
“Hmmm!? Are those the people I met in Will this morning? It’s Apology Man and the busty girl who was originally a guy like me! Busty Girl, was it a banana for you too!?”
“Apology Man?”
“Do not remind me of that shameful memory, Ki!”
“So what’s this about a banana?”
“Do not remind me of that shameful memory, Sumeragi!”
“Is this like an indiscriminate bombing or something?”
It really did feel that way. But they had other things to focus on now.
“Hey, Sumeragi. You, Senpai, and Kuwajiri need to fall back toward Yomoji.”
“Yayyy! Hey, screen! Did you hear that!? He didn’t mention you! Ohhhhhh!? Why are you coming this way? You were excluded!”
<Shut up. I am free to go wherever I like.>
That seemed unnecessarily thorough, but then the idiot asked a question.
“Anyway, what’s going on here, Raidou-senpai!? Did Shame Man and Busty Girl do something!?”
“Bil, you were upgraded to Shame Man.”
“Are you really fine with just being ‘Busty Girl’?”
“I felt like I lost when my first reaction was ‘well, it’s accurate’.”
“Yay! I wiiiiiiin! …So what’s going on, Raidou-senpai!?”
“We’re about to have a duel. That means a battle.”
“Can’t we head inside the bathhouse and have bath-tle instead?”
“I’m sorry, Raidou-san and Shifu-san, but I laughed at that one a little.”
“No! It’s fine! I’m willing to tease anyone if it’ll put a smile on your face! Oh, what’s that look for, Kuwajiri!? I’m in an absolute safe zone here! I’m so cool!! …So, Raidou-senpai!? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Raidou thought for a moment.
“I told you to fall back, didn’t I?”
“Oh, right! I’m falling back, I’m falling back! Falling back just enough to have a nice view of Senpai’s butt! Ah! Senpai, don’t move! Please! I beg you! …Thank you so much!”
Are they okay? But then the idiot pointed at Bilgamesh.
“Shame Man! You should thank me for falling back like this! Because this means I won’t have to use my power on you!”
“…!? Can humans use some kind of Auth Spell!?”
“You better believe it! You should thank me for not using my object teleportation spell! If I did use it, I’d teleport the poop in my colon into yours!”
“Who even thinks of something like that!?”
“Realistically speaking, that would increase our weight, which would be more of a handicap than you think.”
●
“I just noticed, but aren’t we having a hard time standing out against these people?”
“No, you’re just imagining it. Yes, just imagining it. Completely imagining it. Definitely had to say that thrice.”
“To be honest, I don’t think I could bear it if you went insane too, Raidou-senpai.”
●
“Well, I guess it’s all about having a nice balance,” said Raidou.
“A duel, huh? What kind of barrier are you thinking?”
“A diameter of 10km should be enough.”
“Injuries will be virtual and you’re out of the fight once it’s deemed you can’t move anymore. Does that sound good?”
“Ohh, you’re being surprisingly rational about this.”
Shifu was right. Those two were not trying to hurt them.
“So it’s politics, is it?”
●
I tilted my head.
“What’s that about a barrier?”
<Battles between the gods can get crazy and an injury taken in battle could mean losing an authority, which could greatly affect the overall power balance. So a barrier is set up around the combat space and a few different divine protections are cast on it to protect the location and the combatants.>
“The DC decided on all this and created a system of rules. Generally, combat barriers will virtualize the location and the combatants so that any damage done to the location or injury done to each other will have no lasting effects beyond a negative influence on the phase.”
“So it’s like a game?”
“You could say that,” agreed Kuwajiri.
“Both sides will supply an amount of ether scaled to their divine rank to create the barrier.”
Meanwhile, Raidou-senpai and the others waved their hands.
Bluish-white balls appeared below their palms, burst, and disappeared.
“Ohh…”
Something spread out. Or it seemed to. And when I looked back, I saw waves of light the same color as the balls racing out into the distance. Also…
<It is beginning.>
Just as Balancer said that, it started.
This was a battle of the gods.
Interlude[edit]
“Coulllldn't we do it as a piiiing pong gaaaame?”
<You wouldn't need to be gods to do that.>
Chapter 23: Gauntlet[edit]
Isn't this more the 80s?
It began suddenly.
“White Sword.”
With those words, the ground and all the structures were destroyed for about 200m in front of Bilgamesh.
●
“I’m deeeeeeead!?”
I screamed while taking a direct hit from the sword. I mean, this had to be trouble. He actually pronounced the ‘w’! Who pronounces a ‘w’ after an ‘s’!?
“What about in ‘Sweden’? Stop being dumb, idiot.”
“Huh!? Kuwajiri!? You’re dead!? That’s what you get! You’re dead like me!”
“No, no, no, no! None of us are dead, Sumeragi-kun!”
Now that she mentioned it, we weren’t. The city had been destroyed, but we were fine.
We were in the valley created by the sword attack on the city.
It had been one hell of an attack, so the spot where the bathhouse had been, as well as the houses and factories behind it, had become a valley. Yet we were just fine.
“Senpai, you protected me, didn’t you!? By sheltering me below your boobs umbrella! In America, they’d call that being ‘under the Big Apple’!”
I dove into an upside-down, straightened-body prostration at her feet to praise her boobs from below.
“Thank you so much!”
Kuwajiri kicked me in the side.
I rolled a bit and then hopped to my feet.
“Y-you really went for the toe kick, didn’t you!? That hurt, you moron!”
“Senpai-san, I’m sorry and I know she is your responsibility, but she’s really pissing me off.”
“Um, Kuwajiri-san? You can just tell me and I will warn Sumeragi-kun, so let’s not resort to violence right away, okay? Try talking to me first.”
<Then can you warn that ape that she brings me constant displeasure?>
“Sumeragi-kun, don’t do too many things that make Balancer mad, okay?”
“Okay! I swear on my life I won’t!”
<Could you swear on the life of someone who hasn’t died a dozen times already!?>
“This is like the stereotypical version of an overprotective person, isn’t it?”
“So what!? Are you jealous!? Uhohoi! Uhohoi! Okay, Balancer! I get that I’m alive because Senpai’s boobs protected me, but why isn’t Kuwajiri dead?”
Kuwajiri narrowed her eyes far more than necessary, but I ignored it.
Meanwhile, Balancer looked around us.
<It was a barrier.>
All around us, some kind of weird light rose from below the destroyed city.
“Is this an RPG’s healing effect?”
<The destroyed city’s phase-shift is being returned to normal.>
●
Kuwajiri thought Balancer’s explanation was too stiff.
There was a simpler way of saying it.
“This is making it so the damage to the city ‘never happened’.”
“Wait, wait, wait. But it really was damaged.”
“Oh?” she said with a tilt of her head and gestured around her.
“Was it?”
“I mean, yeah, it was.”
“Where are we standing right now?”
Even the idiot had a change of expression when asked that.
They had been standing at the bottom of the valley created by Bilgamesh’s attack, but now they were standing on the untouched road in front of the bathhouse.
“The ground below our feet and our altitude have both changed.”
“What in the world?”
“Um, it was replaced.”
Senpai-san gave an example.
“1+1 is 2, right?”
Oh, you’re explaining it that way, thought Kuwajiri. That’s surprisingly digital. Meanwhile, the idiot tilted her head.
“Yes! 1+1 is 2! There are other, weirder ways of saying it, but let’s go with that for now!”
“Okay, then this is the same as that. The undestroyed city and the destroyed city are made from the same amount of ether, so they are equivalent values. They are only different representations, so we are simply taking the 2 and reverting it to 1+1. So while it looks like the ground and our altitude have changed, the truth is that ‘nothing has changed from the beginning’.”
“Hmmm?”
When Sumeragi tilted her head and entire body, Yomoji shrugged.
“Shoulllld I call the Buuuuddhists? To explain that form is emptiness and emptiness is form and allll that?”
“Oh! That shows up in Genpei Touma Den! I remember looking it up!”
Kuwajiri had no idea what that was about, but…
“So it goes back to normal on its own when its destroyed and it does what we want?”
Senpai-san applauded and the idiot danced a jig.
<Why did she understand such a convoluted explanation?>
“Yours was too straightforward.”
There were other barrier rules to explain why they were unharmed, but she decided that did not matter right now.
That human was not going to get involved in a battle between gods after all.
“But,” said the idiot.
“Where are Raidou-senpai and the others?”
“There around here.”
“Huh?”
Was that not enough for him? No, of course it was not.
“At their divine rank, they move too fast to see with the naked eye. Balancer.”
<I will display relayed footage with a built-in delay conversion.>
Balancer opened a Revelation Board. And…
“I can hear them.”
Yes.
A distant, thunder-like rumbling was coming from the south.
“Raidou-senpai is exchanging physical blows because he needs to get himself worked up.”
The location could be seen in the background of the Revelation Board footage.
<The Tama River’s riverside. They’ve already moved 3km?>
●
This wind is nice, thought Raidou.
They were already moving around faster than the speed of sound, but they were not causing any damage to their surroundings.
“Gotta love these barriers!”
These barriers were like a specially-modified phase space.
Generally, they were allowed to borrow a portion of the territory rights in the Divine World created by Balancer and also receive permission from or even use the local gods or spirits that Balancer had created or moved here.
Destruction was one form of expression and their actions were also included as one form of expression for the land.
No matter how fast they moved or how many buildings they leaped over in a single bound, it would count the same as the flowing river water or the summer grass and flowers blowing in the wind.
“Kuwajiri-chan explains this using a picture, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah. That scribbles and an immaculate painting are only different forms of expression.”
That was a surprising way of looking at it for her.
She was probably giving that same explanation to Sumeragi right now while watching the footage of the battle.
But…
“They’re pretty wild! Maybe cause they’re not connected to Shinto!”
Bilgamesh and Enkidu were giving chase.
They had just passed Tachikawa on the south and reached the Tama River alongside the monorail track.
The Tama River was large.
It was not actually all that wide, but it connected to western Tokyo’s rivers and waterways. The water level was quick to rise during the summer rains, so the riverbank was kept at least 200m wide.
They were running along that. In fact, they were still accelerating.
They were moving their legs the same as normal running, but each step took them well over 50m.
They were moving west alongside the river like that and accelerating upstream.
They approached an elevated train track.
“Shifu!”
“Got it!”
That track was the Chuo Main Line cutting across the Tama River.
The bridge was 30m tall and they took a running start along the playground in front of it before leaping.
It was like jumping over a fence.
Their bodies felt light.
They cleared the metal bridge and spun around in midair to dodge their opponents’ attacks.
Raidou was looking forward to the coming battle in the urban area. He was not worked up enough for it yet.
But the other side was already ready to go.
Those two had already made an attempt while they were heading south. A monorail track cutting north-south through Tachikawa was under construction and only the support pillars existed at the moment, but when Shifu had tried running to the Tama River along that…
“Man, I did not expect you to slice right through that support pillar!”
Bilgamesh’s weapon had done that.
But he was not the only one attacking.
“Fireball.”
With that word, a fireball raced after them.
And it was not alone. Enkidu spread her arms like wings and hundreds of fireballs raced out. Some shot straight toward the two Norse gods, others circled around toward them, and yet others rose into the sky and dropped back down after a time delay.
“They’re not making this easy!”
“But why are all their attack names in English?”
The fireballs started arriving just as they landed.
Raidou and Shifu dodged the speeding fire. He kicked up at a few of the ones targeting her to send them spiraling away into the sky.
“Because it’s Shinto and the 90s. Names are important in Shinto and we’re not exactly major gods in Japan, so we converted our names into the Shinto format…or Japanese format, really. They’ve probably done the same thing with their weapons.”
But…
“Weapons aside, they’re about as major as you can get. These are some really old names.”
Shifu nodded as she spun around and kicked up some of the fireballs coming his way.
And after turning that kick into a step…
“Tooru.”
“Yeah,” he replied as they accelerated.
●
Raidou and Shifu spun around and dodged the barrage of fireballs flying after them.
They ran.
Speed was their ally. In the high-speed battles of the gods, the physical laws were badly distorted.
Besides, explosions and shockwaves could not keep up with the speed of the gods.
So why had Enkidu used an attack as slow as fireballs?
…Because they’ll still “hit”!
Yes. They would not normally hit. In fact, breaking the sound barrier would normally snuff out any fire.
But those attacks and questions worked differently when a god’s authority was involved. These looked like balls of fire, but they were actually a special attack meant for use against him and Shifu.
So speed came first and foremost. Figuring out how to dodge them could wait. And to a war god, this all came naturally, so as the fireballs rained down like an aerial bombing…
“What a pain.”
Shifu seemed to be dancing as she ducked below the sparks of the bursting fireballs.
“Ha ha.”
Her golden hair whirled around and she pulled it in and swung it around so it would not touch any of the fire. Raidou drew them in and forcibly shook them with pure speed, but she ran as if playing with them.
“Tooru.”
“Yeah?”
“This is fun.”
“Yeah,” he agreed when he saw her smile illuminated in the fire.
He was a war god and she was his wife. This was clearly no more than part of a festival for Norse gods who found honor in battle. So he lined up alongside his wife as she danced in the firelight.
“They should be coming soon.”
They broke free of the barrage. He used some extra acceleration to shake the final shot that came from directly above and he tugged on Shifu’s hand to match their speeds.
“I guess that slowed us down some!”
Their two opponents were running through the shimmering heat and red light of the fires lit by the fireballs landing behind them.
By godly standards, they were close enough to make an attack.
●
The riverside playground came to an end in front of Raidou and Shifu.
Now it was just the river.
A curve in the flowing water was directly in front of them.
The river came right up to the embankment on their right.
If they continued like this, the snaking river would be straight ahead with only the much-narrower riverbank and embankment to their right.
“That narrow riverbank is gonna make it hard to dodge!”
“But moving to the road will give them a line of fire and they’re sure to get carried away!”
That was true. The poor footing of the rocky riverbank had worked to their advantage, so…
“Shifu!”
He only had to call her name while leaping forward and left.
He accelerated and jumped diagonally across the river.
Shifu followed without any assistance.
“Whoa.”
But their jumps had a very shallow angle, so they could not make it across in a single bound.
“Trying to turn this into an underwater battle!?”
“We might be Vikings, but we’re not that crazy!”
There was something to stand on.
The riverbed was not made of stone or sand in this region. The hard soil was exposed. Only the bare minimum of maintenance was done for the sake of excavating fossils and because Akishima, the city in charge of this area, chose to preserve the natural terrain. So…
…That makes the phase easy to manage!
Dirt and rock grew up from the river. That outcropping, which had originally been a geological stratum, caught their feet and was not slippery despite the water.
The terrain was on their side.
So…
“––––––”
After stepping twice to keep his trajectory straight, he took Shifu’s hand in midair to escort her.
And they crossed from there to the opposite bank.
“They’ve caught up, but it’s about time for our trick!”
●
Ki breathed a sigh at managing to catch up to their opponents.
Both sides could manage a stride with steps of well over 50m. Norse Mythology was from two generations later, but that meant their abilities were more refined. And…
“The footing here is really bad!”
In this Divine World, the local gods provided them with little support even with the barrier contract active. As proof, the crust of the riverside shot up like pillars of water.
They were in the riverside playground.
Oh, the soil here is a different color from my skin. This is black soil. I bet it’s good for growing things.
But they kicked off those pillars to keep going.
Their opponents had crossed to the opposite bank and had only been exposed to some clouds of dust. However…
“We need to jump over the river soon too!”
“Jet Boots!”
“That’s your answer!?”
Bilgamesh shouted like diligence itself and light erupted from the outer edges of his feet.
This was not just an Auth Spell.
For a brief moment, gold wings were clearly visible. And…
“Ki!”
He took her hand.
You’re as forceful as ever, she thought as they instantly soared along a shallow course across the river.
They were catching up even more.
●
Back at Sunakawa, everyone was watching the footage of the battle on the Revelation Board. They could see the local gods arranged by Balancer assisting the gods moving up along the Tama River. But…
“Bikkuri Donkey smells really strongly of meat on the inside, doesn’t it!?”
“Yeah, it’s incredible! They really are pushing for a win in the battle for low cost and large portions! Oh, but it’s really cute how the menu is shaped like a Western partition, isn’t it? Wait, isn’t this my first time eating out with Senpai!? What are the rest of you doing here!?”
<The ape suggests we watch the battle in a family restaurant and this is where it gets us?>
“Kuwajiri-san, are you okay?”
“I feel really bad doing this to those upperclassmen…but it would be weird to just stand outside watching it.”
“Eatinnnng is part of ourrrr job.”
After hearing that, Kuwajiri said something else while viewing the menu that was standing up like a partition.
She had adjusted the brightness of her Revelation Board to make the night battle easier to see in the restaurant’s lights.
“They’re headed west, aren’t they? …Things look good. It would be best if they could drag this out to right up against the edge of the barrier west of Fussa.”
“Hm? They aren’t just running away to wear out their opponents?”
“They wouldn’t do that. The strongest of the Norse gods are setting things up to show off what they can do.”
●
Ki had a thought after she crossed the river, fired a few Auth Spells, and saw the enemy run away.
…How far do they plan on running?
Their opponents were not even trying to fight.
If they wanted to, they could easily get in a hit.
But even when she fired that barrage of fireballs, they only dodged them and moved further away.
They were picking up speed.
She and Bil needed to defeat those two for their “politics” to work out well. That was why they continued this pursuit, but…
“Bil! Could we just negotiate with Omokane instead of bothering with these two?”
“Omokane is not on our side either. …That is why she told us to go defeat them.”
Also…
“This barrier will not last forever. If we cannot defeat them in time, our reputation and our influence will suffer.”
“So it’s an away game, is it?”
They did not want to lose, but neither did their opponents.
Their opponents could maintain their influence as long as they survived this. In fact, they could reduce Ki and her partner’s influence just by not being defeated. So…
“Do you think they’ll just keep running away the entire time?”
“Do you think Norse Mythology’s strongest war god would do that?”
“It’s hard to say,” she responded, but she agreed it was unlikely.
“I don’t think they’re really running away.”
It felt more like those two were guiding them to some kind of good location. So…
“Let’s assume the location will work to their advantage. From there…”
“They are in range!”
Her partner moved forward, opened a Revelation Board, and activated an Auth Spell.
Their footing was undeniably poor, so…
“I will provide my own buffering instead of receiving support from this Divine World!”
He stepped on the ground.
A buffering spell shattered between his foot and the ground, but the rocks no longer hopped up underfoot. The same spell appeared on his elbows, shoulders, knees, and more.
“Full-body buffering at current max setting!”
And he uttered a single term.
“Jet Boots.”
He rocketed forward.
●
Shifu heard a deafening roar.
Tooru was the power type, but if anything, he used bursts of speed for his power. But this opponent caught up to them in just three steps.
…A buffering spell…and an artifact!?
She had seen Bilgamesh using those before too. His attacks, movements, and other actions were strengthened. She had initially thought they were Auth Spells, but they were not.
“Tooru! Their Auth Spells are used to summon those things!”
“That’s right. Bil and I are half-god and half-human, so we only have such high divine ranks because we strengthened ourselves with equipment and Auth Spells like this.”
A metallic sound rang out.
Bilgamesh had defended against Tooru’s strike. And…
“Gauntlet.”
It was indeed a gauntlet.
It was iron colored. It had a simple design with only some white paint in the center.
But the weapon was far from normal. This applied only to the shield portion and not the gauntlet as a whole, but…
“It’s over 5m tall? What kind of gauntlet is that!?”
This was much taller than a tower shield. The giant gauntlet was swung around based on the coordinates of Bilgamesh’s right arm, but it provided autonomous defense.
The wall-like shield portion had stopped Tooru’s strike and deflected it upwards with the auditory version of a dull pain.
But that was not all. The gauntlet was swung around while not actually attached to Bilgamesh’s arm, but it synched with the way he raised his arm.
“…!”
Oh, no, thought the Norse gods as they accelerated apart.
There was a good spot for them.
It was a bridge.
They had traveled far enough up the Tama River that they had left Tachikawa and arrived in Akishima.
Up ahead, they could see the Tama Ohashi bridge that connected Akishima and Hachioji.
It was an old bridge with only two lanes. It was about 20m tall, but the entire bridge was more than 400m long.
The Tama River cut back to this side below it.
That meant they were approaching another break in the riverbank and the river cut across head of them.
If they went up, the bridge would get in the way.
If they went down, the river would get in the way.
So what were they supposed to do?
“Okay, let’s do this!”
She went down.
●
Raidou chose to go up.
The river was flowing below the bridge and the footing was poor.
Going up meant running into the Tama Ohashi bridge, but…
“The bridge will provide cover from that gauntlet!”
He twisted around to make sure he could counterattack while he leaped over the Tama Ohashi bridge.
Or he meant to.
“…!?”
When he looked back in midair, he saw an iron-colored wall.
It was Bilgamesh’s gauntlet.
But its size was even more abnormal now. It had been about 5m tall before, but…
“That thing’s over 50m!”
“Because it is sizing down to match me. …It would normally pierce the heavens.”
He raised the gauntlet and made a strike that eliminated Raidou’s cover.
The iron strike broke through the bridge and flew toward him. Also…
“I suppose I will go for a jab.”
In addition to the shield portion, the metal forearm portion was launched in a diagonal strike.
An attack more than 200m in length smashed through the bridge and toward Raidou in the air.
“Ohh!”
It scored a direct hit.
Interlude[edit]
“I actually kind of want that gauntlet.”
“That's probably a bad idea since you already have your own gauntlet.”
Chapter 24: Flintstones[edit]
I will preserve history
This effect will not be preserved
Inside the Sunakawa Bikkuri Donkey, Kuwajiri thought to herself while viewing the wooden plate brought to her.
…The wooden plates are definitely a plus.
The 300g hamburger steak inside had a generous amount of melted cheese on top and it came with a salad and some rice. The only slight disappointment was the hamburger steak itself.
With a normal steak, she could eat it with just a knife and her hand or a spoon, but this was a hamburger steak restaurant so that was what they had.
But could she start eating yet? Hers had come first because she had ordered a simple one, but the battle was being relayed via Revelation Board.
“I would really prefer to focus on the battle since that’s our friends fighting.”
“Woulllld focusing on thaaaat help them wiiiin?”
<A good point. Everyone has their own way of showing respect, but I think it would be wrong to watch instead eating.>
“That’s right, Kuwajiri! I’m showing my respect by ordering a merry-go-round parfait for dessert and a full-sugar cola to drink!”
How is she still alive? she wondered with a chill in her heart, but she decided it was best not to think about it. But then Senpai-san asked something after having been focused on the Revelation Board.
“Um, a giant gauntlet just appeared. What is with that and that White Whatever from earlier?”
“In Mesopotamian Mythology, Bilgamesh and Enkidu forged their own equipment. That included an axe, a sword, and a dagger, so it had to have been pretty heavy. So I think they can make things grow bigger to represent that weight. They’re taking it a little far, but the fact that they make the things themselves is a trait often seen in ancient mythologies since that was before things were split out between different jobs. I imagine they must have done some R&D on this stuff for themselves.”
“Aren’t the colors a little dull to be the Tower of Druaga? They’ve all looked real metallic.”
Now that you mention it, thought Kuwajiri.
“Babylon, which inherited Mesopotamian Mythology, was a bronze age culture, so gold was highly valued. So, of the equipment I mentioned before, only the dagger was made of gold. The equipment that looks like gold might actually be bronze.”
“Hm? Isn’t bronze green? It’s always green when they find it in ruins and stuff.”
<That is bronze rust. The rust is hard, which allows the tools to maintain their shape until they are unearthed, but they were originally a bright yellow metal like brass.>
“For real!? You’ve been lying to me all this time!?”
“I have seen Raidou-senpai playing that Tower of Whatever, but since it has equipment with ‘gold’ in the name, it must mean that the gold color you normally see isn’t actually gold gold.”
But…
“Bronze Age Babylon was destroyed by the Hittites who used iron tools. Those two have learned from that and created equipment of steel and later metals.”
This sounds like trouble, she thought.
“They are not underestimating what came after them. And I thought the gods of ancient mythologies were supposed to be prideful.”
●
The bridge that had been acting as a ceiling had been crudely destroyed.
Shifu saw a physical blow in front of her.
A metal arm measuring more than 200m long had thrown a punch with divine speed.
The bridge was consumed.
The punch was so fast that the midair pathway of metal and asphalt did not even bend.
The portion that was punched shifted in the other direction like it had been sliced with a cutting machine the width of the fist.
The pressure to the metal of the bridge actually melted it before creating sparks, so scorching pellets scattered from it. But by the time they were in the air, the fist had already punched through the bridge.
One portion of the bridge flew westward like a game of Daruma Otoshi.
However, that was only a midpoint along the punch.
The giant metal arm was aimed at something else.
“Tooru!”
He was in midair as the metal fist flew diagonally toward him. It was definitely on a collision course, but…
“Really, I wish you’d look my way.”
“Oh, my bad!”
Shifu was crossing the river in order to pursue Tooru and the punched portion of the bridge.
She was using the rocks sticking out of the water as footing.
She raced along those stepping stones and flung herself toward the playground on the opposite bank.
“Flying Disc.”
“You know that just means frisbee, right!?”
She looked back to see an unsmiling smile on Enkidu’s face and something flying her way. It was a disk with a diameter of about a meter. She could tell at a glance that it was a projectile with razor edges.
“I can use about a hundred of these if I keep going.”
“Wow, that is wonderfully inexact!”
What was she supposed to say when she was the target?
●
Sparks flew.
First in the sky.
Bilgamesh felt the blow land. He too made a leap and continued swinging the 200m gauntlet, but…
“Something is resisting it!”
An unstoppable attack struck back at the great power of the metal, motors, and launch acceleration.
A sound of impact followed.
The resisting force was clearly a blow to the gauntlet.
Bilgamesh knew what had happened.
The giant metal arm’s attack had been knocked back the other way by a counterattack.
“The war god!”
This was Thor’s attack.
Someone was upside down and flying through the sky up ahead.
The lengthened sleeves of his summer uniform flapped behind him as he rotated through the air and raised something at the ready: his right arm.
That arm was covered by the color black. The fist at the end glowed red with heat and white smoke rose from it.
“What is that?”
“It’s called Jarngreipr and it’s an exterior power arm made for me. A super thin one. Your gauntlet has more mass, but I can give you a run for your money when it comes to pure power. Since we’re a later mythology.”
It was true the struck portion of the gauntlet’s fist had been crushed.
The pressure of the blow must have been powerful indeed. A portion had melted and the base metal was visible. He could only think of one word to describe it.
“Impressive!”
“Thanks.”
He did not feel his response warranted thanks, so…
“Gauntlet.”
He launched it. And…
“I will not hold back, so this time I will launch both arms.”
He sent his dual attacks into the air. Two heaven-striking attacks were summoned. Plus…
“Prepare for a double punch at the 500m size!”
They struck.
●
“Don’t push yourself so hard!”
That was her first thought about her partner.
They had forged all of Bilgamesh’s equipment.
They had done so back when they were receiving the blessing of the gods, so they were all basically cheating. In all honesty, they would not be able to make something like that again now. That was how high level they were.
Their Auth Spells were the same. They had made them based on what the gods taught them, so while the effects were simple, the power and efficiency were quite good. There were flaws, but…
“We can defend against those ourselves!”
Sparks erupted across the entire space in front of her.
They were in between her and Shifu who was leaping to the other bank. The razor disks she had fired there had collided with something.
She had not seen anything, but the triple digit number of Flying Discs were deflected and scattered before reaching Shifu.
…What was that?
It was not a wall. She noticed there was no consistency to the way the razors were deflected.
“A fence!?”
That was it.
An invisible but extremely solid fence had appeared there.
Wondering what it could be, she launched more razor disks in front of her to check. She launched a countless number of them.
…Show me the answer!
●
It had to be something invisible or nearly so.
She guessed Shifu had dropped a lot of something there.
The girl had scattered some kind of obstacle in the air and it had to be something powerful because…
“They can deflect my discs!”
When they hit, sparks scattered before her eyes. A lot of sparks.
Metallic sounds erupted out and chained together while sparks burst up to illuminate them. Meanwhile, she continued her pursuit of Shifu. She followed the path created by the discs she threw out ahead of her.
“Is this it?”
Something touched her cheek.
Just as she realized it was a blade, her skin had been cut.
It was a slicing cut and it had to be quite sharp since the cut was still not bleeding, but…
“This is just a whole bunch of blades, isn’t it!?”
She shuddered when she realized what would have happened if she had simply jumped on ahead. What had scattered the razor discs was meant to have intercepted her instead.
And she realized the blade that cut her cheek suddenly grew soft and wrapped around her finger.
This was not a metal blade. It was…
“Is this hair, Shifu Saku!?”
●
“Bingo.”
After landing in the riverside playground, Shifu listened to her partner’s physical blows in the sky and looked back while running.
Enkidu was attacking from behind.
Ether light was already scattering on the river below the bridge behind her. The razor discs made by an Auth Spell were returning to their original ether form.
And something else was thinly scattering ether in a similar way. It was…
“Gullhaddr. It’s my hair.”
Meanwhile, Enkidu also landed in the playground.
She was approaching fast.
That opponent looked her way and raised her hand while running. She was activating her Auth Spell.
But Shifu spoke up before Enkidu, aka En Kidou, could take her turn.
“Could you say my name again?”
“Shifu Saku!”
She said it.
●
This is amusing, thought Shifu.
She was from Norse Mythology, but this was Shinto territory. Shinto was really lax in its rules, so…
…Pretty much anything goes as long as it isn’t impure.
Any mythology or religion was acceptable as long as it was not impure.
That was fairly unthinkable in Europe.
She liked that about it and had chosen a name other than her true name that fit the location. Even though she had initially decided to keep living like a Norse god while here.
But there was one thing that had pushed her to do it. It was more of a human rule than a Shinto thing, but…
…You get a family name!
There were clans and families and whatnot in their mythology, but he was just Thor and she was just Sif. She also had a bit of Jarnsaxa in there too.
But they were on their own. They were not alone, but they were on their own. They were individuals.
So she had been interested in how humanity represented what group they belonged to.
I mean, family names are incredible. Just a short little name is all you need to take something that could have existed on its own and as an individual and instead bind it as a member of a specific group.
…That normally wouldn’t be possible.
But while she had felt some opposition to the idea, she had also been curious.
Would she feel any different if she had a family name?
And this was the perfect opportunity to try it out.
So she had decided to do so.
And human society had another tradition.
“The wife takes the husband’s family name.”
So who was her husband?
Tooru.
He was a war god and a thunder god, so he had taken the family name of Raidou.
So she had thought about trying that out herself.
She would have been Raidou Shifu.
And…
…It felt completely wrong!
I mean, I’m not a thunder god.
I’m a god just like Tooru, but I’m not the same god as him.
So if I took the name Raidou, people could only laugh and call it a lie.
I know the point is to have the same family name with separate individual names, but it feels so wrong in this weirdly ticklish way.
Yeah, I know what it is I wanted.
I wanted something more like when a couple gets matching tattoos! It’s not about one being above the other; it’s a symbol of them being together and becoming a unit that they’ll support together.
It’s a form of promise.
But when they were coming up with names to match this Divine World…
“If you want us to have matching names, how about you come up with a family name and I’ll take that. You do have a double divinity.”
Tooru was super casual about it.
“But which of my names should I use for the given name and the family name?”
“Sif’s your main one, right? Then why not use Jarnsaxa for the family name?”
“Wait, wait, wait. But Sif is the main one like you said. Jarnsaxa is an addition. She’s the mistress.”
“Oh, I think I get it. When you have two names due to a double divinity, the original name is the main one so you want it as the family name?”
“That’s it, yeah. So can you think of any other words that fit your image of me?”
“Blonde?”
“Not ‘busty blonde’?”
“You’d need to praise me a lot more if I went all out with that.”
They came up with too many ideas to fit them all in, but she was personally satisfied with that. And after coming up with a family name for herself, she started going by Shifu Saku.
When she asked Balancer about it…
<There are a number of rules in this era, so you could treat it as a foreign name and include all three to be Raidou Shifu Saku.>
“That’s too much.”
But it still feels like an option. A really good option, honestly!
And since everyone uses my family name all the time, I can be kind of forgetful of the given name part. But…
“Shifu Saku!”
It’s weird. When people use that name and I imagine a Raidou in front of it, it has an incredible power to it. It reminds me how amusing this era is and how good an idea that name sounds, but it also makes me wonder just how madly in love with Tooru I am. But regardless…
“I love it.”
Shifu got to work intercepting.
She matched Enkidu’s speed and drew her hair before pulling her hands back to either side.
“Flutter, Gullhaddr!”
●
“Protection.”
Ki raised her voice and created an ether shield just before a gold blade reached her.
While running alongside her, Shifu moved her hands to swing her hair which transformed into a blade.
It was a single-edged sword measuring more than 5m long. It was thin, but…
“…!”
It sliced right through the ether Protection that was modeled after Bilgamesh’s armor.
Ki knew what this was.
“ ‘Golden’ hair, right!?”
●
“So what, do busty blonde’s have powerful hair or something?”
The idiot asked that when Senpai-san’s order arrived before hers did. This was the same as when Shifu had scattered her hair to block the razor discs.
“You can’t really say that Shifu-senpai’s hair belongs to her.”
“What do you mean?”
Kuwajiri was unsure if she should answer that, but it was written down in the myths, so she went ahead.
“A long time ago, an idiot cut her hair off as a prank. Raidou-senpai was prepared to chase the culprit to the ends of the earth and a lot went down there, but Shifu-senpai received manifestation-level ‘hair’ from some dwarf craftsmen.”
“So a hair transplant?”
“No. If I had to describe it, I would call it a powerup.”
They were not like humans. “Listen,” she began.
“She was able to accept it as a part of her body. In other words, the mold of her hair was still powerful even after the hair was cut away. That was because her hair is her most representative mold. And since the craftsmen gave it their all, she was powered up to a manifestation level as the war god’s wife.”
Kuwajiri saw Senpai-san looking overwhelmed by the appearance of the 150g hamburger steak in front of her.
“Um, after all that crazy talk this morning, I was real excited about this, but now that I’ve calmed down, you can get this kind of thing at almost any family restaurant, can’t you?”
Perhaps it was only the gods from the Norse meat culture that thought this barely looked like any meat at all.
But anyway, the battle was still ongoing and there was something she had to say.
“There are a lot of different minerals and alloys in the world and they can be made to ‘exist’ in this Divine World as well. And Shinto has developed a version of the ones known as Orei Metallo under the name Hihiirokane.”
The Norse had something like that too.
“Perhaps you could call it Gudgull, or gold of the gods. It’s an extremely simple thing, really. In Norse Mythology, gold is a symbol of extremes such as wealth and decay or success and ruin, which makes it strongly influenced by curses and wishes. So if a righteous person uses it in a righteous way, the value and glitter of gold acts as their power.”
●
Ki caught on to the trick.
…The special trait of being the gold of the gods remains, but she can freely alter how solid it is.
Gold was a very extendible metal. A single gram could be extended to 3000m as a thin thread. Ki did not know how dense Shifu’s hair was, but she was swinging it around as a thin, 5m blade right now.
“It’ll slice you up.”
The attack was as fast as whipping hair.
It leaped more than it ran.
It danced more than it slashed.
When she pulled the blade back with both hands, it bent like a whip and the tip swung around faster than the rest.
The blade soared, but it did not follow a single path. It swayed and twisted and it was sometimes pulled around.
…It’s getting longer!
“I’m actually a harvest god, you see. Tooru is an agricultural god too, but he almost entirely ignores that side, so, well, I can do stuff like this.”
Ki realized she was surrounded by the color gold.
The path taken by the flying and dancing blade remained as light and drew out an imaginary image.
It was a fertile field.
A land full of golden wheat spread out as far as the eye could see.
“Wait, is this what I think it is?”
This was supposed to be a riverside playground. They had been running through there while exchanging attacks.
“You can tell? The path of the blade and the wind it produces has gained a ‘phase’. Since my hair is synonymous with wheat.”
Ki knew what she had done. This was one special trait of the gods.
“You’ve established your divine territory, haven’t you!?”
“Welcome to the away game.”
That made this a home game for her. The gold of harvest ruled this place.
And Ki knew something about a god’s authority.
Any one representation of it was also the other representations.
So if her hair was a blade and wheat, then the opposite was also true.
Every last head of wheat in this fertile field could become a blade. And…
“You can extend your blades by several thousand meters!?”
“Gull-Elding. This attack is basically named ‘Shifu and Raidou’.”
With those words, the attack arrived.
The wheat directly below – no, all around – was the enemy here.
All of the wheat became blades that stabbed into the sky like backwards lightning.
●
Raidou was fighting a defensive battle in midair.
“Do you ever stop attacking!?”
“If you wish to counterattack, then do so!”
Bilgamesh threw his high-speed punches pretty much as he pleased.
Not only were they powerful, but he had a mechanical punching apparatus set up. And by swinging that apparatus around with a perfect grasp of its timing, he could up the rapid-fire speed without relying on the machine.
He was pretty good at this.
Raidou was focused on defense by using his right arm’s Jarngreipr as a shield.
Either he was lucky or they were a good match because he was small and light compared to his opponent’s punches.
He did take damage when hit, but the impact fully left him and his body was simply sent flying.
He had considered using that to make a jump and put some distance between them, but…
…He doesn’t let up!
Bilgamesh kept punching again and again, so Raidou had to keep taking the hits over and over in midair.
He had no opening to let himself be thrown a decent distance away.
At this rate, he could be taken to the edge of the barrier, but…
“Aren’t you a little too tough?”
“I am the man worthy of divine equipment! Did you really think I would get tired?”
“Well, you can talk the talk.”
Raidou laughed while using small punches and elbow blows to fend off the left and right punches with just his right arm.
“I think you’ll get bored with doing the same thing over and over! And…”
Something arrived from below.
He could see a wheat field spread out as far as the eye could see on the dark surface.
“Tooru!”
Gold blades drew countless rectangles as they jabbed up into the sky.
●
They attacked the reverse side.
The inside of the gauntlets had thinner armor than the outer shield portion and they were full of openings where the movable parts connected together.
The hundreds of golden blades rose from below to strike and pierce them there.
They were essentially skewered, but…
“Your blade is not thick enough, later god!”
The numbers were insufficient to split the 500m arms.
Bilgamesh did not let the hits slow him down. He raised the gauntlets and shattered all the golden blades at once. Golden ether light scattered through the air.
But that was enough.
“Bought you some time!”
Shifu was right.
The thunder god had descended to the fertile field that remained on the ground below.
“Great job, Shifu! That was the time I needed to get knocked away from him!”
Raidou raised his arms in front of him and raised his voice.
“It’s a little early, but let’s do it here!”
●
Raidou prepared to fight Bilgamesh who was descending from the sky with two giant arms at the ready.
But he realized something while he looked up at Bilgamesh.
“The fertile field…”
A change had come over the perfect gold of the wheat field spread out around him.
It was a color.
The gold faded away from the fertile field covering the land.
This was the divine territory Shifu had established earlier. If she wanted to, her goddess authority let her bless an area of a dozen or so kilometers in every direction, but that was rapidly withering away.
“Too bad! This means Ki’s power is greater than your wife’s authority!”
Bilgamesh shouted while sending both his arms Raidou’s way.
“And now that I have caught up, it is my turn again, later war god!”
●
Shifu saw what was happening.
The fertile field and the land of reverse lightning blades had not all been used against Bilgamesh’s gauntlets.
Before that…
“I sent them at her so she couldn’t interfere.”
Shifu meant Enkidu.
That girl was nowhere to be seen.
The fertile blades were losing their color now, but Shifu had sent hundreds of them from every direction to attack Enkidu’s location within the wheat.
The blades had taken curving routes and they were packed in densely enough to create a round fruit-like silhouette.
However…
“Not bad.”
The fruit shattered. No, it withered and fell apart like it was unraveling.
Another form appeared in its place: a flower.
When viewed from below, the way that fruit of scattering blades faded and fell away looked like two sets of five giant fingers made from ether light.
Those ether hands surrounded and held up Enkidu like a flower. The structure was almost identical to the forearms of Bilgamesh’s gauntlets.
“I combined Protection Large with Sword Barrier. In the battles we fought, bladed weapons were more common than striking ones, so we have plenty of blade countermeasures.”
And…
“You know my turn has already begun, don’t you?”
She did.
Her surroundings were changing. The golden wheat of her divine territory was withering and fading.
“Since I was made from the earth, I really wished I could use an Auth Spell like this, so I developed one before arriving here.”
“Is it a nasty one?”
She could more or less tell it was.
Enkidu had just negated Shifu’s divine territory. That meant she had an excellent defense Auth Spell, but also…
“You are a harvest god. You are the fertile wheat. But I am the earth below. Do you get what that means? Wheat cannot grow without earth, so my ‘phase’ is at the very foundation of harvest. Even if I’m technically clay.”
So…
“A harvest god like you has an inferior ‘phase’ to an earth god like me.”
With those words, the protective fingers blossomed and scattered through the air.
In their place, the fading of the wheat reached its completion.
Everything had lost its color.
“Rock Hold.”
And it was petrified.
“Rock to Mud.”
The fertile gold faded to the color of dried clay. It then became a moist-looking black before turning white.
“Petrifying it wasn’t enough? You have to break it too?”
“As a life made from earth, my authority can return life to earth.”
This was a compatibility issue.
Shifu’s harvest powers controlled the life that grew atop the earth and her opponent controlled the earth itself as life.
“The ancient mythologies are the originators. Of course, I doubt I could have beaten you if I couldn’t have done this, but I think I put up a pretty good fight.”
Meanwhile, it reached Shifu as well.
The petrification did, that is.
Her divine territory had already faded out to the farthest reaches and started to shatter.
That meant she too would be returned to earth. And…
“This is only politics, so I think I’ll return you to normal even if you shatter. I’ve learned how to do that too.”
Just as Shifu heard that, she too faded.
A dry feeling reached her fingers and toes and then rapidly moved up her arms and legs.
“I notice my uniform isn’t fading.”
“Because it isn’t alive.”
I feel like we get along pretty well, she thought just before her mind cut out.
She too had been petrified.
Interlude[edit]
“You’ve got the petrification fetish covered too!? Man, you gods are down with anything!”
“U-um, are you saying you like rocks? Please tell me that’s what you mean.”
Chapter 25: Thunderblade[edit]
This isn’t me showing off; I’m always giving it everything I’ve got
Bilgamesh gave a shout while falling and sending down twin attacks.
“Your partner is now dirt! Know that you have no backup!”
But…
“She will be returned to normal! So worry not and face me!”
His words showed him how weak his own will was.
He was feeling unnecessary sympathy for this opponent.
He had once lost his own partner, so he was empathizing with what his opponent had to be feeling.
…Honestly.
He thought back to when he had once lost Ki.
●
“What is happening? Why is his opponent being so nice?”
Kuwajiri nodded while wondering if she was consuming her hamburger steak too quickly and while considering if she should order another one.
“In his myths, Bilgamesh lost his partner Enkidu and began to wander.”
“Wander?”
“Yes. Enkidu was made to die as a punishment from the gods, but Bilgamesh could not accept that death. When Enkidu was on the verge of death, Bilgamesh dressed him up in bridal clothes to celebrate him. After Enkidu’s death, Bilgamesh wandered the world hoping to find the location of his soul so he might be resurrected.”
And…
“When he ultimately realized that was not possible, the half-god half-human king discovered the limits of his own power and he died.”
She finished the story. And…
“Uh…”
There were tears.
●
“Eh? Um, wait. Hello?”
She had no idea what to do about this.
The story of Bilgamesh was indeed a tragedy, but she had not expected to bring an older girl to tears.
Besides, making this particular upperclassman cry was a problem.
Because the idiot would respond. And sure enough…
“Don’t make her cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Ahhhhh, Senpai! It’s okay! It’s only a legend! It’s a made-up story!”
“Helllll of a thing to say to a bunch of leeeegendary gods.”
<Let’s just say she is talking about the original text from the Earth Age.>
“Yeah, that’s what I meant! So, Senpai! Don’t worry too much about their backstories! Now we can continue the legends or play the sequel or whatever! It’ll be as easy as inserting a 50 yen coin in the slot!”
“And you don’t need to cry either way.”
“B-but it’s just so unfair!”
First I made her cry and now she’s yelling at me. Well, it is an emotional story. That’s never been my strong point. But…
“The biggest difference between now and the Earth Age legend is that Bilgamesh is real now.”
<Just like with all of you, they have the Earth Age legends as ‘memories of the past’, but they are also redoing those legends from the beginning.>
Yes.
The Norse gods had memories of going through the Twilight of the Gods at the end Norse mythology, but that had yet to happen in ‘the present’.
It was the same for Bilgamesh.
He had once lost Enkidu and wandered.
He had tried to live life the way he wanted but learned of his limits when he found something he could not do.
He had that past in his memories and that would cause him to hesitate even in the middle of battle. So…
…He isn’t a bad person. Which means…
Which means…
“Raidou-senpai, you must have the phase prepared by now, so do it already.”
●
Bilgamesh saw something while in midair.
His opponent had struck a pose on the dried and scattered land. His left hand was at his hip, his right hand was jabbing upwards, and he swung both those hands before pointing upwards again.
“Raidouuuu!!”
He shouted.
“Thorrrr!!”
Bilgamesh interrupted whatever this was by slamming down both his attacks.
“Enough nonsense!”
●
Bilgamesh knew his attacks had hit. Both scored direct hits.
He felt the blow land through both the gauntlets.
He had not felt that any of the previous times.
Of course he had not.
He had been making a flurry of attacks before, but he had always been using one arm at a time.
This time, he had used the momentum of his fall and used both arms at once.
That was not something someone could fully block. However…
“Did he do it!?”
Both of the gauntlets shook.
A counterattack had struck both the ultra-heavyweight attacks and that attack’s power exploded within the gauntlets.
“…!!”
The wrists of the gauntlets bounced up and shattered.
He heard the destruction of metal. It was an odd concentration of sound caused by the metal being torn, compressed, and crushed.
The 70m metal fists were utterly destroyed.
His opponent had used a counterattack to survive.
●
“Damn you.”
That was well played. The enemy appeared in the center of his vision just as he thought he was going to land.
It was Raidou Tooru.
The hem of his uniform was shredded and there was clear weariness in the way he stood there, but…
“What’s that look for?”
“That weapon.”
He knew what it was. He had researched it before arriving in this divine world.
“Norse Thunder God Thor has three divine tools.”
The first was the gauntlet he had used to endure all the attacks thus far: Jarngreipr.
The second was the strengthening belt that allowed Thor to draw out his full power: Megingjord.
And the third was the divine hammer that acted as his symbol.
“What happened to Mjolnir?”
Raidou held a weapon in both hands so that it spanned left to right, but it looked like a giant sword.
It had no guard and the rectangular blade simply looked like a hunk of metal stretched out.
“Don’t be dumb. This is Mjolnir.”
Thor smiled a little and lightly swung the large sword.
“The only flaw with that hammer is the poor craftsmanship, so of course I was gonna improve it when I came here. Just like you did with your equipment.”
It instantly changed shape. No, it returned to its original form.
It really was a hammer.
The handle was short enough to fit inside a single hand.
The striking portion was long side to side, but it was still the size of a hand’s breadth.
“So I take this and go like this.”
He swung it.
It immediately changed form. As the handle extended, the striking portion also grew wider. The striking portion also thrust out upwards like it was growing taller.
“It might look like a blade, but it’s really just the striking portion stretched straight out. You can think of it as an extra-long hammer. I used this mode for that counterattack just now.”
●
I let slip a comment on what I had just seen.
“Kamen Raidou.”
“No one asked you to say that.”
“Now, now, now, now,” I said while shaking my head.
“You saw that just now, didn’t you? Raidou-senpai’s belt buckle started spinning in a really cool way and then the hammer popped out.”
“It is true Mjolnir is normally stored in Megingjord’s buckle.”
“Is therrrre a good reeeeason for that?”
“Because he modified Mjolnir to make it more usable and added some extra features, it didn’t have enough power for itself. That’s why it generally gets its fuel from Raidou-senpai. He’s fighting now, but he only just built up enough fuel to use it properly.”
“Sumeragi-kun, would you like half my hamburger steak?”
“Ah! Y-yeshy-yes! I want it! I want it so bad!”
“Are you listening? Hey, are either of you listening?”
●
An impact became sound and raced out.
Two rapid-fire sounds rushed alongside the Tama River.
The first was the rumble of the lightning attacks produced when the extended striking weapon counterattacked.
The other was the metal ring of two giant fists pushing away and striking the lightning attacks.
The two continued ceaselessly as a continuous roar.
Both sides struck, attacked, and sometimes spun around while staying on the move.
However, the thunder god was constantly falling back.
His opponent’s attacks were far heavier than his own.
He kept his center of gravity lowered as he launched the lightning hammer attacks, but the two fists were still more than 600m long when the forearms were included.
That was an overwhelming difference.
When he caught one of those attacks, he was forced to fall back a dozen meters at least.
But his extended striking weapon did not break. Instead, the metal fists shattered but were immediately regenerated with ether light.
“Ha ha! How huge an ether pool do you have!?”
“You laugh, war god!?”
“Course I do! We fought much bigger things when we were destroyed in the Twilight of the Gods, but if I can keep up with someone like you, I know I’ve still got what it takes!”
“I see.”
His opponent smiled a little too.
“I feel the same way.”
“Is this a complicated thing for you!?”
“I said this is politics, didn’t I?”
Oh, right. But…
“You idiot.”
“What makes me an idiot?”
The thunder god gave a roar while they fought.
“This is a battle! Not politics! You call this a battle for politics!? Not how it works! Battles are battles! We’re duking it out and whoever’s stronger wins! How is that politics!?”
“Whoever is stronger wins! That describes politics to a T! Isn’t that right!?”
“That’s dead wrong!”
He was sure of himself here.
“The winner is the one who survives to laugh another day! That’s what I call a battle! Wasn’t it that way for you!?”
He asked a question.
“Did you laugh back when you were the one to survive!?”
●
Bilgamesh gave his opponent another look.
He had researched this opponent. However…
“I lost something precious to me yet survived and regretted it every day thereafter. I felt powerless and I felt despair. But…”
He slammed his fists forward.
“What about you!? What about Ragnarok!? In the Norse myth you called the Twilight of the Gods, most of the gods die and the world is remade! And…”
And…
“You are one of those who dies in battle! What did you do then!?”
A counterattack arrived and knocked his attack upwards.
“I laughed!”
The thunder god raised his eyebrows in a smile.
“I laughed and died! In a ‘whelp, this is the end I guess’ kinda way! But…”
“Out with it!”
“Sure,” he replied.
“But my laugh was a twisted thing. I felt a sick kind of relief that everything else was being destroyed along with me. I was fine with it because everyone was with me. Not what you’d expect from a war god, huh!?”
“Which is why,” he added.
“I’ll never laugh like that again!!”
“You will not allow it, is that it!?”
“Same for you, huh!?”
They exchanged a nod. A moment later, they struck and cleared a small distance between them. At that moment, Bilgamesh met his opponent’s eyes and raised his voice.
“White Sword!”
●
Bilgamesh saw the thunder god was already on the move.
…What does he intend to do against my summoned weapon!?
Bilgamesh was not summoning the gauntlets. He was using the White Sword that could be called a piercing AoE weapon.
Did he have some trick up his sleeve? Or was he simply desperate?
Bilgamesh did not know.
But that extended striking weapon was aimed his way and it grew an extra few dozen meters while his opponent gave a roar.
“Thunder God Strike!!”
What is he saying? Gilgamesh wondered in a split second.
The summoning of the White Sword was being completed by the many Revelation Boards around him.
This attack was not like the one he had used previously. The muzzle-like ejection space at the base of the weapon had already been enlarged.
The white sword’s attack would cover around a dozen kilometers and stop when it hit the barrier wall.
What lightning attack could that hammer produce in response when it was long but still only measured in meters?
Was he really simply desperate?
…No! He is not the type of person to do that!
That left only one option: a trick up his sleeve.
And at the moment…
“It can’t be.”
Gilgamesh checked the top of his vision.
He saw it there.
The thunder god’s trick was there.
At some point, clouds had appeared in the previously clear night sky. The thunderclouds looked like they were being intentionally brought in from the west.
This was weather manipulation. In other words…
“A phase!?”
●
“There we go.”
Kuwajiri looked into the western sky out the window while she wondered if she had overdone it by ordering a melon soda float.
Even in Sunakawa, it was visible at a low angle to the southwest.
Dark clouds extended from the Okutama mountains to the west.
“Did he create that with an Auth Spell?”
“No, he did not. It is a type of weather control, but this is due to a natural phase forming in the Nishitama region.”
There was a trick to this, so she opened a map of western Tokyo on a Revelation Board.
“Japan has a lot of mountains and a lot of rivers. Both of those things eliminate the flatlands all the way out to the ocean. The people of Japan tended not to notice it, but Japan’s terrain is a collection of valleys extending from the mountains to the ocean that were carved away over many long years by the rivers.”
What special traits did that provide?
“Deep mountain valleys and rivers cause the mountain’s winds and waters to flow downstream. Clouds form more easily in the sky above the mountain rivers. South of Okutama, the Tama River connects to Yamanashi. North of Okutama, it connects to the Chichibu Mountains. So it gets hot in the summer and clouds form especially easily above it. From the perspective of other regions, a lot of rainclouds will extend from there while snaking along the path of the Tama River.”
<If you swing an absurdly large weapon around to stir up the air on a humid summer night while the great din of it all shakes the air, you are bound to have clouds form for a sudden downpour.>
That was exactly it.
“The thunderclouds created here are supported by the regional gods and spirits of this Shinto land. And Raidou-senpai can further increase the power by pressurizing them with his Auth Spell.”
In an instant, their surroundings grew white.
She knew what had happened. No, she knew what was still happening. The light coming from the west was no longer just light as it illuminated the western side of Tokyo.
“This Thunder God Strike is a combination of thunder god tricks. A mass of lightning will crash down from the sky over a radius of probably 3km…but it should only hit the outsiders.”
●
There was no sound.
There was no light.
Everything was burned away to create a pure white space void of all noise, smell, and even heat.
An explosive vibration had been launched at his opponent from the sky.
But Raidou still saw something ahead of him.
“Well done.”
His opponent was still there.
Bilgamesh had his giant right arm raised with something visible atop the gauntlet.
It was a shadow.
The all-encompassing shadow continued for more than 2km.
That was not the White Sword.
It was a shield.
“Red Shield.”
He stood there with his breathing heavy but enduring.
The lightning light faded, the sizzling sound vanished, and everything grew visible once more. However…
“I would’ve won if you’d used your White Sword.”
Raidou had planned to strike in the opening that left, but he had canceled that plan.
However, Bilgamesh alone could not have pulled this off in time.
Yes.
Someone else had intervened. Someone had reached out a helping hand and replaced Bilgamesh’s attack ejection device with a defense one. Raidou knew exactly who that would be.
“The wife!”
●
“I wouldn’t have noticed the movement in the sky if I hadn’t been watching from behind.”
Ki wiped away an exhausted sweat and sighed. She stood next to the stone statue that had been Shifu.
“I thought you had to have a trick up your sleeve, but I was focused too much on the river.”
The river was not what mattered.
They were up against a thunder god. Not a weather god like they knew; a god that specialized in thunder specifically.
Also, the natural terrain of this divine world was different from the Middle East.
There was more than one factor to the land here.
The phase that gave Thor the upper hand was the sky.
The terrain along this river would call in thunderclouds from upstream.
She had finally noticed once she was positioned further away and had to view the entire scene from a distance.
That had given her just barely enough time to intervene. And…
“That is the Red Line Shield defense spell. It is a specialized protection applied on top of Bil’s shield, but unfortunately, I couldn’t apply it more than once. The weapon deployment permission stuff gets in the way.”
So she made a suggestion.
“How about we take the same family name? If we’re at the same rank, I can intervene without going through the permissions process.”
●
“Thank you,” whispered Bilgamesh.
Then he looked to his opponent and took a fighting stance.
“It’s on, then?”
“On it is.”
His opponent raised that hammer once more.
Bilgamesh reactivated his Auth Spell Revelation Board. He put it in sleep activation mode to shorten the activation time.
“We both came here after suffering a defeat.”
“Yeah, but you’re about to suffer another one.”
Was he simply acting tough after losing his partner’s support and having his largescale lightning strike blocked? No, he had an idea. That was what made him a war god.
Thunderclouds remained in the sky. Lightning was racing from them.
But since Ki remained in the fight, her defense spells could defend Bilgamesh.
If his opponent was going to act tough despite that…
…I must not hold back!
He reactivated his White Sword and preserved the Red Shield that was starting to vanish.
“I will pour my heart and soul into defeating you!”
The Revelation Board was complete, but then he heard a comment from his opponent.
“FYI, you’re not the only one with the power of a wife.”
●
What does he mean by that? wondered Bilgamesh.
This opponent’s wife had already been stopped. Her harvest had been scattered and Ki had petrified her.
Ki had the upper hand on a fundamental compatibility level, hence the victory. But…
“Ki!”
He realized a certain fact and sensed danger.
But not for himself, for his partner Ki. Because…
…The ground!
There was a color in the ground: yellow.
“…!?”
This should not have been possible.
The withered and scattered fruits of the earth had returned.
That was odd.
But the light rising from a wide expanse of land was clearly the color of the returning harvest. Which meant…
“Ki! Your opponent has overcome your compatibility!!”
●
“…!?”
Ki was confused.
Something strange was happening.
A golden color was welling up all around her.
It was wheat. That massive divine territory was returning. But instead of being established anew, it was recovering.
“It couldn’t be.”
She did not see how this was possible, but she had to ask.
“Did you remove the petrification!?”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, cracks ran through the Shifu statue.
Her entire body split apart and stone scattered. But instead of the entire statue crumbling away, something emerged from within.
“Whew, that one caught me by surprise.”
It was Shifu. The petrification had only covered the outermost layer of skin. Almost like…
“Would you call it a threshing facial? But having stone in my underwear was a little ouch, if I’m being honest.”
Ki watched in a daze, but there was something different about the Shifu she saw now.
“Your hair.”
“Yeah,” she said with a smile while brushing the stone off her hand.
“Black hair is pretty nice too, don’t you think?”
●
“What is the meaning of this!? My Auth Spell should have returned your life to dirt!”
Shifu nodded at Enkidu’s complaint.
“I have a double divinity. Because there are two people in our mythology who are considered Thor’s wife.”
Was “people” really the right word there? Meh, who cares, she decided.
“The first is the more well-known one: Sif. That’s the blonde beauty. And the other one is Jarnsaxa. Do you know what that name means?”
She explained.
“It means ‘iron dagger’.”
The rest was simple enough.
“Your Auth Spell? If it turns life to dirt, then its rules let you return Sif’s wheat and fertility to the earth, but it can’t do the same with Jarnsaxa. After all, she’s iron. Iron’s still iron even when it rusts. It can’t be turned to dirt.”
“Compatibility, huh?”
“Oh, the compatibility issues don’t stop there.”
She moved forward. She approached. Her opponent prepared to fight.
“Flying Disc!”
Ki launched several dozen razor discs at close range, but Shifu easily ducked past them.
“Remember what you said about bladed weapons being popular in your day? Then how about barehanded attacks?”
She moved right up to her opponent while she spoke.
It only took an instant. But…
“Kh!”
Enkidu threw a frantic attack that did not have her hips behind it, but it did reach Shifu’s cheek.
It landed.
●
Shifu heard a nice sound come from her cheek.
Enkidu had been created as a man, so it was a fairly powerful blow.
Oh, right, she realized after recalling the mythology Kuwajiri had explained for them. Before Bilgamesh and Enkidu had accepted each other, they had fought a lengthy duel through which they realized they were both created by the gods.
In that case, they would be able to handle hand-to-hand combat too. So…
“Correction: we might have great compatibility.”
With that, she took a step forward.
“…!?”
The blow she had taken had affected her. It hurt like hell. But…
“You’ve still got a ways to go before you can match the punches the jotunn have thrown my way.”
Her black hair blew in the wind as she circled around her opponent’s attempt at evasion. Her hair continued to flutter as she interrupted Enkidu’s evasive action with the toughness of iron.
The enemy could not move, so she only had to use her standing motion to gain momentum.
“How about we exchange stories about our husbands later on, En-chan?”
Then she threw her fist into En’s jaw.
●
Shifu took En’s hand as she tried to stay standing but started to collapse into the fertile field.
By the time she had supported her, her hair was back to the gold of wheat.
And she gave a shout.
“Finish this, Tooru!”
●
Bilgamesh realized Ki had been defeated. But…
…Good enough!
He had just launched the White Sword from his right arm.
The attack would reach the edge of the barrier and create an even deeper valley for the river.
Thunderclouds filled the sky, but he was raising the Red Shield toward the heavens.
The shield no longer had the Red Line Shield protection applied, but…
“It can still protect me for a short time!”
Once he said that, he saw the thunder god’s hammer transforming again.
This was not the striking portion extending like before.
It was short and it looked a lot like a hammer, except that the handle was longer than it had been.
No.
This was a sword guard.
The hammer formed a sword’s hilt and guard, so what was it lacking?
A blade.
And what would a thunder god use as a blade?
“A lightning strike!?”
●
All of the electrification, ball lightning, and thunderbolts emitted from the thunderclouds overhead were concentrated on the sword guard held up by the thunder god.
The lightning was focused and discharged from that point and the blade itself called in thunderclouds while also launching itself into the sky.
The lightning produced a flare.
The lightning blade produced from the thunderclouds gave a roar and burst in the heavens.
The blade of striking light scattered the very clouds it had come from as it reached a height of 9km.
●
Bilgamesh tried to seize victory.
The thunder god in front of him raised his lightning blade.
That 9km lightning strike descended toward him.
He raised his shield toward the sky, but…
“Ki!”
You left this to me, he thought while launching his White Sword and moving forward.
He would win this.
He would strike swift and hard.
Even if his opponent was faster, his shield would hold out for a moment. But…
“Kh!”
He saw something moving in front of him. No, below him.
An attack arrived from the ground – from the fertile land.
It was Shifu’s gold.
●
Bilgamesh saw the enemy’s attack appear below him.
All of the wheat covering the fertile land turned to blades and hopped up at him.
“Let’s do this harder than before!”
Well done, he thought. You two work well together.
It was coming.
The attacks were launched up from the ground.
All of the blades raced across countless angular paths and stabbed into him to pin him in place.
They hit him.
The many heads of wheat pierced straight through his gauntlet and the shield it was raising overhead.
But he still gave a roar.
“No matter!”
His equipment’s mass and speed could easily break those thin blades. So…
“I will not lose!”
He shattered all of the wheat and continued forward.
He did not stop.
The thunder god was swinging that giant blade to hit him.
It was a swift motion, but he could still win.
His opponent’s attack was coming from above, but he had his shield raised. So…
“Victory is ours!”
●
Shifu heard Tooru’s voice from the distant battlefield while she reached a hand out toward En who was breathing heavily down on her knees.
“You know what? Your partner is a pretty good match for you in battle.”
Tooru spoke to Bilgamesh.
“But Shifu’s gold is highly conductive. Pretty convenient for a thunder god’s wife, right?”
“Oh, shut up,” she muttered while looking up in the sky.
Her many wheat attacks had been torn apart and were scattering ether light, but they were still there.
Most of them had pierced Bilgamesh’s gauntlet and Red Shield to reach the sky beyond.
The shield no longer provided any protection against the lightning strike.
It would pass right through.
Which meant…
“Don’t assume we’ve lost just yet!”
En spat out the words.
“Bil! I’m not going to use Call Bil!”
●
“Oh!”
What was he trying to say?
Was it a cry of resistance?
Had he been addressing the enemy? Or…
“…”
Had he been addressing someone much more important? He did not know. But…
“Hammer of the Thunder God!!”
The light from the heavens struck the shield, passed right on through it, and shattered it.
Everything simply vanished into whiteness.
It was over.
Interlude[edit]
“Any deep reason you finished off your hamburger steak just as the battle ended?”
“So I could order another one.”
Chapter 26: Gods 04[edit]
Now, to clean up
But first
“It’s over, isn’t it?”
Kuwajiri looked out the window to see the electricity in the western sky and the eddying clouds in the scorched atmosphere.
“Now I don’t have to feel guilty about ordering a merry-go-round parfait.”
“You eat a lot more than I would’ve thought!”
She was Norse, after all. She would regret eating so much later on, but she had bought some bananas on a good sale, so it would all work out in the end. Senpai-san was giving her an impressed look, but they probably had different digestive systems.
Still, she had her own thoughts about Senpai-san.
…How can she maintain that body when she eats so little?
She gave Senpai-san an impressed look and the girl tensed up.
“U-um, do you need something?”
“Not really. I was just realizing that Japan has a lot of its own protein-rich foods like tofu and natto.”’
“I like both of them.”
She shook Senpai-san’s hand and the idiot pulled a paper napkin from the dispenser on the table, bit it, and glared at her.
“How dare you hold a free Senpai handshaking event without asking my permission! You’ve gotta at least buy a CD for that privilege! Senpai, you’ve released a CD, haven’t you!? You haven’t!? Not even a single!? How can this be!? Something is severely wrong with the music industry! Anyway, Kuwajiri, how dare you do that with your hand! I’m so jealous!”
She had no idea what the idiot was talking about.
“Sumeragi-kun, do you want to shake my hand?”
“No, I mustn’t! That is not allowed! I couldn’t possibly hold a handshaking event without earning it with my faith in some way!”
“IIII bet I could get you to pay a toooon of money for indulgences.”
Probably so. But then Senpai-san asked a question.
“Um, what happened with Raidou-san…or the entire Norse group, I guess?”
“We won, so a lot will change. And we’ll have more trouble to deal with.”
“Trouble?”
“Yes,” confirmed Kuwajiri while glancing at the person looking outside from a position two seats away. That was Shinto Representative Omokane.
“I mean politics. War God Thor can be seen as the Norse Representative and he just defeated a representative of the 5th Generation Mesopotamian group, even if that opponent was half-god, half-human.”
●
Kuwajiri was not in charge of politics, but on the intellectual front, she understood what this battle result would mean.
“Fewer mythologies will think about messing with the terraforming of this planet. After all, we defeated a pretty major player even among the 5th Generation. However…”
This would lead to a concern as well. She called on her knowledge of a past example.
“First of all, anyone who does pick a fight with us will either be very powerful or use trickery.”
“That does sound like troublllle.”
<That is true,> agreed Balancer. <It is now known that not even an ancient mythology’s representative can defeat you in a direct battle. This will have a deterring effect, but it will also lead people to search for a way to overcome that deterrence.>
“Will they send a powerful god, will they send someone whose authority gives them an extreme compatibility advantage, or will they send in an army to win through pure numbers? Or will they make their attack through political or economic avenues?”
This is what it meant in the end.
“This means a lot for the Shinto terraforming. As a later mythology, Shinto never had much influence, but this gives them a spot right there with the other mythologies.”
“Eh!? That’s amazing! Then can we let Raidou-senpai and the others deal with everything while we think up some clever ideas if it’s needed so that hard work and friendship carry us to victory in the end!?”
“S-sorry, but I was sort of wondering the same thing. Is there some major problem with that?”
“Norse mythology is not a monolith. The gods are just one faction and we have come here almost entirely on behalf of that faction. But…”
But…
“While we are working to hold them in check, we still all belong to Norse mythology. So if we help you here, the others are bound to demand payment from Shinto.”
“Ah.”
It looked like she had caught on.
Their ultimate goal here was the terraforming. So…
“They might just ask that some of the planet’s land be given to Norse mythology. Of course, we will ask for payment as well since we are not doing this as volunteers, but the more we fight for you, the more you will be obligated to provide, which will only bind you. Personally, I think you should give a military god or war god a real manifestation as soon as possible and then use us as reserve forces.”
“Kuwajiri-kuuuun.”
“What?”
“You shoulllld really stop announcing your deparrrrture in advance.”
●
“Ah.”
She had meant it as a warning or a knowledge-based decision, but she had taken it too far.
No, the fact that she felt like she had taken it too far was the proof that this decision was partially based on emotion.
“Sorry. I seem to have a tendency toward pessimism.”
“Oh.”
“Well, not as much as you do. You amaze even me there.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”
It was even more amazing if she was not aware of it. However…
“Kuwajiri, keep one thing in mind.”
“What is that?”
“I like having crazy fun with everyone and I want to keep doing it.”
“You mean?”
“Yeah,” said the idiot. “I mean, I don’t want to see myself as some sad loner! I’m super-duper lucky to have Senpai with me, but I can’t intrude on her everyday life just to worship her! All my worship juices would squirt out of my believer hole if I was able to be a part of her everyday life, but to preserve the value of my worship, she needs to be someone beautiful, not someone desperate for attention! And she is someone beautiful, even if she seems to hand out rewards a little too readily! So…what was I talking about again? Probably about Senpai given what I got sidetracked on.”
“Was it your respect for Senpai-san?”
“U-um, thank you very much?”
“I-I am unworthy of your thanks! I, Sumeragi Izumi, will endlessly respect you even if you give me a colder response like, ‘You’d better praise me more than that, you pig’! Long live, Senpai! Long live, Senpai!! …Really though, Kuwajiri, what were we talking about?”
“What you wanted from your relationship with us.”
“Eh!? You want a relationship with me!? Well, you’re out of luck! I’m running straight for Senpai without taking any detours! My path is as straight as National Route 1! Straight as can be!”
<FYI, National Route 1 is in the Nagoya region, so it is fairly curvy.>
“This is about nuance, not facts! Why don’t you get that!? What do you think, Kuwajiri!?”
“I think I might be able to calm you down if I mess with some of the settings during the next rollback.”
“A psychological castration!? That’s new!”
She really was annoying.
But the worst part was how obvious it was that idiot was trying to be considerate.
…Showing off my negative side was a mistake.
What good was sympathy from the likes of a human?
But for now…
“You say you don’t want to be lonely, but the result of this battle means all the mythologies seeking out a suitable phase on this planet might just gather here and have some ‘crazy fun’ fighting over the land.”
This was going to be a pain. But on the other hand…
“We don’t want this to lead to conflict either, but that is another reason why our peaceful days here might be over.”
“Kuwajiri-san.”
“What?”
“You don’t have to make yourself into a villain. That is only possible for people with the absolute conviction and pride to believe nothing at all can bring them down.”
“…”
“I was merely lashing out based on the anxiety and other things I carry with me.”
Just as she said that, several voices arrived at the restaurant entrance.
“Ohhhh.”
Kuwajiri could tell why Yomoji had looked up.
“Hey. We’ve brought the other two. They’re joining us.”
●
“Is this a ground beef and pork mixture? We can’t exactly eat that.”
Ki finally let herself sigh while viewing the menu.
It had finally hit him that the time for fighting was over.
…It had been a while since we fought.
They had just completed the post-battle process.
“It is very convenient that we are warped back to where the battle started once it is over.”
<Yes, but data-wise, this is still an alternate phase, so some adjustments must be made to ensure your safety and bring you back.>
However, none of that took very long. Plus, Balancer handled everything for their surroundings.
They ended up in front of the bathhouse, so Balancer guided them to this restaurant.
They took the seats across from the Norse pair who were ordering tons of meat.
The table across the aisle from there was filled with Norse and Shinto gods.
“I never imagined the human would have turned into a girl for no reason.”
“Caught me by surprise too! This was apparently a first for my rollbacks, so I ran to the bathroom to check on some things during the terraforming!”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” replied Ki. “There are some things you’ve gotta check out once you get a female body.”
“Right!? I gave myself a look and was all ‘way to go, me!’. But why did you make the change, Busty Girl?”
“I had a number of reasons, but personally…well, you know. If I was going to be ‘receiving’ Bil, I figured having more receptacles would mean more variety.”
“This conversation is going places fast.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait!”
“Anyway,” said Ki with a light wave of her hand. “There are actually a few different versions of our mythology depending on which civilization was in charge, but the further back you go, the deeper my love for Bil is depicted to be. And when you keep hearing that, it makes you want to go for it, right?”
“Yeah, that happens when you keep getting praised for something.”
“Exactly. And since there were other reasons for it too, I figured it was worth doing.”
Everyone gave fairly solemn nods, but then Bilgamesh took a gulp of water and spoke up.
“I had no problem with the male body either, though.”
“And we’re going places again.”
“Oh, but Shinto is perfectly okay with that.”
That was Shinto for you. Nice and lax.
But their partners had already begun exchanging opinions next to them.
●
Raidou spoke his mind.
“Man, that was pretty fun.”
“Winning is always fun. It feels great, doesn’t it?”
“Was it fun for you?”
After a pause, Bilgamesh nodded.
“I feel better now. Because I managed to decide what it is we should do.”
“Politics, huh?”
“Yes, politics. We can discuss this later. Right now, I want to reach an understanding about that battle.”
“So you feel better, but you still don’t like it, huh? Kind of confusing.”
“Do you enjoy it even when you lose?”
Shifu glanced over at him when she heard that question. Bilgamesh’s partner, Kidou, did not look their way and continued speaking with the underclassmen.
Kidou’s reaction was the unnatural one.
Does she have her reasons? wondered Raidou as he answered the question.
“I do. Because I can think about why I lost.”
“Explain.”
“Sure,” he agreed.
This is what he meant.
“Once I understand why I lost, I can be certain of one thing: I will win next time. Once that happens, my loss doesn’t end with just a loss. I can be certain that I grew stronger in the process. And that means…”
This is how he viewed it.
“Maybe losing was actually better than winning. At that point, I just have to look forward to the rematch. Because I can win the next time. I will win the next time. Bring it on, you SOB. Stuff like that.”
“…”
Bilgamesh silently held out his hand, so Raidou shook it.
“You are right. Defeat only makes you stronger next time if you can accept it. But…”
“Yeah.”
They both knew this.
“Losing but stopping there is the absolute worst.”
He had experienced that when the world of the gods was destroyed.
The other guy had experienced that when he had lost his partner.
So how had these two made it this far?
He could make some guesses here, but politics was not his domain. The only one here who could do politics was Omokane at the other table, but she had too much of an ulterior motive.
“Kuwajiri,” he sent via Revelation Board.
“Miru-senpai is asleep right now. I would wait until tomorrow for anything politics related.”
“I see,” he replied before holding out a flat hand to pause the conversation with Bilgamesh.
“Sumeragi! Let’s have a party at your room tonight. With everyone here.”
●
“Eh!? Senpai in my room!? Kyun! Oh, that was the sound my heart made! And I’m not sick! It was the sound of my heart’s flitter-flutter button being pressed! Flitter-flutter push! Kyun! One more time! Kyun! What’s with the ‘you’re ruining my meal’ look, Kuwajiri!? I’m like a delicious spice, aren’t I!? But anyway, how about it, Senpai!? Oh, but I’m not talking to the male Senpai or the carnivorous Senpai! I’m talking to the real Senpai!”
“Don’t think I’m forgetting this.”
“Thank you! Thank you so much! Criticism from a busty goddess is the ultimate reward!”
“Is this what humans are like nowadays?”
“No, she is a special case! Or I hope she is!”
●
Bilgamesh noticed Balancer had appeared next to him.
<Hello again, Bilgamesh. I was monitoring you, but since I do not interfere with the actions of the gods, I had shut myself off from you and your private words and actions.>
Hearing that, he looked to the boy across from him.
Raidou nodded as if to say Balancer was correct.
“It’s true. Balancer wouldn’t tell us anything about you.”
“You have my thanks. But…”
He turned toward the noisy human and saw Ki looking his way. However…
“Oh, sorry.”
She had not done anything wrong, so why did she reflexively apologize?
He had known his partner a long time, but there was still a lot he did not understand about her.
●
…How cute.
Figure it out, boy, Shifu added, but that was probably just how those two were.
En was apparently having some trouble with Bilgamesh’s “loss” brought up in the previous conversation. That was probably something from their mythological age.
But right now, Bilgamesh had met Tooru who had experienced a similar loss. En must have found some peace in the fact that the two boys had come to a consensus on what that loss meant.
…I’d better cheer them on.
She felt like she was becoming more and more like a mom, but that was fine.
It was fun.
●
Bilgamesh asked a direct question.
“Why do you think I lost?”
“To be blunt, because of everything.”
“That doesn’t tell me anything.”
“Then,” said the other boy while spreading his hands. “Because everything was an away game for you. Does that help you understand?”
“What do you mean by everything?”
“The battlefield, the participants, the time, the land, the tactics, and everything else.”
The other boy responded with a toothy grin and Bilgamesh did feel like he sort of understood.
“In other words, this was a standard tactic for you.”
“Yeah. And an abuse of the rules. I mean, you two had a poor position here to start with. The barrier created around the battlefield would disappear if we cut off the ether supply both sides were providing, but doing that at this point would have politically hurt you two since you were the ones with a reason to pick a fight. So you had to defeat us no matter what. Meanwhile, we could run away to change our positions…and to lure you into position.”
Also…
“We knew the area and the lay of the land. Nature gods are crazy powerful when they can take advantage of the local terrain, but I think you let your guard down when it came to that.”
“I’ll admit I didn’t expect thunder since it was a cloudless night.”
“Are you saying we were too impatient?”
“Yeah,” agreed the other boy. “That’s the short of it. I don’t know what burden you’re carrying, but it was weighing you down from the start.”
“I thought we had prepared well enough to make up for that.”
Ki nodded and spoke to the couple in front of them.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen Bil have so much fun building and forging new equipment.”
“I was not having fun.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s that kinda thing, isn’t it?”
He felt like that interpretation had been forced onto him.
What a troublesome girl, he thought from the bottom of his heart.
Meanwhile, the thunder god tilted his head.
“Was that your best equipment?”
“No, we left the Hyper versions at home. We modified the base-level equipment and brought that with us this time.”
“They were originally bronze, but we made them out of steel this time.”
“Excuse me for interrupting, but you were going for defense while aware that would increase electrical conductivity, weren’t you?”
She understood it well. Since she was a god of knowledge, she was clearly an excellent god.
“We knew a thunder god was in charge of the fighting here. Bronze has low conductivity, so it would be effective as a defense against lightning attacks.”
●
“Really? I know bronze is made from copper and isn’t copper used in electronics? I remember doing stuff with that in elementary school, but I guess that memory is fabricated.”
<That is one of the lightly fabricated memories we provided you with, but it is true that copper is highly conductive. It is the next best metal after silver. Gold is also highly conductive as seen in the finale of the recent battle, but if copper’s conductivity is a 10, then gold’s is only a little over 7.>
“Well, my gold functions on special rules designed to match Tooru, so you could say I’m made to be penetrated by his attacks.”
“Did your explanation have to sound so dirty? Well, did it?”
<Let’s pretend we did not hear that and continue the conversation. You’re up, Senpai-san.>
“Eh? Um, uh, don’t machines use gold plating for the electric contact points?”
“Gold corrodes far slower than silver or copper, so using gold plating is ultimately cheaper even though it comes at the cost of some conductivity. Also, if we again view copper’s conductivity as a 10, then bronze’s would be between 1 and a little above 1, although it depends on how it was made.”
●
“Well, the electricity isn’t the part of a lightning strike that does direct damage. It can burn through stuff, but it grows weaker while it passes through the target. And if the target is touching the ground, it can pass right through them as long as there isn’t any resistance. If anything, the impact from the shockwave is the more powerful part.”
“That is true,” agreed Bilgamesh. “There are two ways to defend against lightning strikes. The first is to use a poor conductor that does not allow the lightning to pass through and deflects it outwards. The electric attack that doesn’t reach you will become an external impact, so solid materials are preferred. But bronze is too brittle for that. Even if it could prevent a thunder god’s attack from reaching me, we concluded the impact would break through. So we went with the other method: allow the electricity through to soften the external impact.”
Hence steel.
“Steel has fairly high conductivity and a solid surface, so it seemed like the best choice. We decided I could defend against the thunder god’s attack with my shield and, if that did not work, let it pass through me and into the ground. However…”
He had encountered an unexpected ambush.
“I did not expect you to use the harvest god like that.”
●
His equipment had been pierced up from the ground.
When it happened, he had thought it was no more than some blades. However…
“Those blades were part of the ‘harvest land’ phase, weren’t they?”
“Oh, you actually figured it out?”
Of course he had. It had bested him in combat.
“So in the very end when that pierced my weapon, my failure was in using my momentum to destroy it.”
Because…
“It was growing up from the ground below as ‘harvest land’. Even after breaking it, the remnants remained pierced through my equipment and they had been ‘cut off from the land’. I rejected the very ground on which I stood. Thus, the lightning strike could not escape into the ground and instead exploded within.”
But that was not all.
“Shifu, your hair is gold, isn’t it?”
“It is. Gold’s conductivity comes in third after silver and copper. And like I said, mine is special gold made to match Tooru. So once my blades had pierced through, Tooru had what he needed to get his power through and control it.”
So to sum up…
“We overlooked your mutually complementary relationship where together you control the earth and the heavens. We tried to battle a couple as if they were unrelated individuals.”
“Like I said. It was all an away game for you.”
“We will not lose next time.”
“I’m game any time. Remember, legit duels aren’t the only way to compete in this world and you take things way too seriously for a proper duel. So how about we play some video games and take it easy?”
Now.
“We can discuss the heart of the issue in that idiot’s room. But give us a quick taste now, 5th Generation.”
●
Bilgamesh glanced over at Ki.
She was looking back at him. She did not try to run away or avert her gaze, but she also did not try to act tough.
She was ready for this.
That was wonderful.
She truly was his partner. So he placed his hand on hers when he asked the question.
“Is that human’s room safe?”
“Balancer set it up. It exists as a phase space, so we can use a barrier to cut it off until tomorrow morning. We could do that at the bathhouse too, but you don’t have an official Shinto connection quite yet.”
“I see.” Bilgamesh nodded. “Then why bother saying anything here?”
“Don’t be dumb. Think about it. We’re students and it’s summer break.”
“That’s right,” said Shifu with a grin. “If it looks like a serious issue, we need to buy some drinks and prepare for a long talk. If not, we can buy mostly snacks and have a party. So which should it be?”
“Our troubles are not some summer vacation distraction.”
They are not taking this seriously, he thought, but he had lost to them. Also…
“Fine, then.”
It seemed strange to him, but when in Rome.
The previous battle had taught him what it meant to learn new things.
So he told them what they first needed to do concerning the problem they faced.
“Shinto? We wish to defect to your side. The decision is yours.”
Interlude[edit]
“Way too much stuff here uses a ground beef and pork mixture.”
“Balancer, they have Bikkuri Fries and Bikkuri Pizza here, don’t they!?”
Chapter 27: Junction 04[edit]
A connecting connection
Raidou used the Bil-Ki Duo’s defection announcement to determine whether or not they should continue the discussion here.
“Yeah, we can’t really discuss that here. Let’s get to Sumeragi’s room.”
That thought excited me a little bit.
…I-I get to go in Sumeragi-kun’s room!?
It did make sense given the situation, but I still couldn’t believe it. And it sounded like it might just be a sleepover tournament. Well, not a tournament. Not that it matters. Okay, maybe I was little flustered.
Kidou-san said she would pay the bill, so the Norse group mercilessly ordered an extra hamburger steak each.
But after we had paid and were considering stopping by a convenience store, Omokane-san called out to us. She paid her own bill after we did, but while walking out ahead of us…
“Take care, all of you. I have some business to attend to.”
“Huh? Where are you going, Omokane-san?”
“I need to complete some work related to Bilgamesh-kun and Kidou En-kun’s defection. The actual paperwork has already been submitted, but I must inform the other mythologies that it has indeed happened.”
“Omokane-chaaan?”
“What is it, Shifu-kun?”
“How much did you know about what was going on with the Mesopotamians?”
“Well,” she said. “I have an information shutout field, so I heard pretty much everything. You can get yourselves filled in at Sumeragi-kouhai’s room.”
“Oh, so that’s how it is?”
What was this about? I honestly didn’t know, so I asked.
“What is this about?”
“These 5th generationers have something they can’t tell us.”
“Yup. They’re sworn to secrecy by some kind of contract.”
“Eh? But didn’t they just say they were defecting?”
“That is something new we have just agreed to, so they are free to tell us that. The secrecy is about something from before that. They made a contract with someone else about it.”
“U-umm?”
This was sounding confusing.
But Raidou-san summed it up for me.
“They can’t tell us about their actual objective or some plan that someone else is working on. A contract they made with that someone prevents them from doing so. Or maybe talking about it would allow them to be tracked.”
What did that mean?
“They have a boss.”
●
Raidou had more or less figured something out.
…There’s something contradictory or out of place about their actions.
A lot of it came down to his group’s misunderstanding. He knew what their biggest mistake had been.
“We were too worried about the delays in the terraforming here.”
He felt bad when Senpai-san shrunk down, but that was the crux of the issue.
However, there was something he could not figure out. While thinking on it, he pointed east, toward Sumeragi’s apartment, and began walking.
It was a summer knight and Japanese summers were humid, but not as bad as his home. Still, he would prefer it not to be so hot.
“Bilgamesh, do you mind if we make some guesses here?”
“Go ahead, but keep in mind that we can neither confirm nor deny anything.”
“Then here’s a yes-or-no question: Do you have those ’80s-style sideburns because you got the wrong idea about the current fashion trends?”
“My hair is curly and does this naturally!”
He really is a nice guy, thought Raidou, while realizing he had been too careless in how he treated Sumeragi lately.
Anyway, he added while turning toward Kuwajiri who raised her hand and picked up her pace to keep up.
She was lit up by an orange streetlight. He had a feeling those orange ones had become more common recently.
“Let us suppose that this 5th Generation pair has a boss.”
“…”
“I just about reacted to that.”
“That careless side to you scares me at times like this.”
“I could say the same about how you can do most anything without getting careless.”
“Well, aren’t you a cute couple.”
“Oh, whoops.” Kidou waved a hand dismissively and opened a Revelation Board. “I’ll listen to some music, so go on ahead.”
“I will,” Kuwajiri continued speaking. “As Raidou-senpai said, there are two cases in which they would be obligated to keep a secret.”
●
“So when would they be obligated to keep a secret? The first possibility is that they were ordered to do by their boss. That would mean the secret is related to their inspection duty. In other words, what the inspector will be doing in the Shinto-led divine world must be kept a secret. That one is simple enough. If we knew what the DC inspector wanted to inspect, we could work against that inspection. I can see why they would be asked to keep that a secret.”
The idiot walked forward and raised a hand while nonchalantly staring at Senpai-san’s jiggling chest as she walked next to him.
She must have thought no one would notice, but she was moving her head and down in time with the jiggling.
“Then isn’t that the answer? They’re the DC inspectors, so what other possibility is there?”
“Yes. If that were true, you would be right.”
However…
“The other possibility is that they were not given any instructions by their boss.”
●
“Huh?” I tilted my head and the rest of my body in front of Kuwajiri. “Is that even possible? Kuwajiri, are you all right? Are you sure you aren’t making stuff up just to have more to say? Well, can you answer me that? C’mon, answer me! Answer me! Answer meuuuuuuuuu!”
“How did you turn that into a ‘u’ sound?”
“Oh, thanks! Thanks so much! I’m so glad someone actually responded! Everyone around here has started ignoring my jokes recently! Hey, Kuwajiri! You need to react to my jokes like Busty Girl here!”
“I wish we lived in a world where you could just die.”
●
“But anyway,” said Kuwajiri while walking behind me. “What if they were not given any instructions by their boss?”
I had a question about that.
“Is it even possible to be inspectors but not receive any instructions from their boss?”
“Oh,” said Senpai. “It is. In certain circumstances.”
“Yes! Of course it’s possible! In certain circumstances! Yes! Senpai is right! Kuwajiri! It’s possible for that to be the case!”
“…”
“Kuwajiri, was it? I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to get mad in cases like this.”
“No, I am choosing to view this as me guiding her to the correct answer with a clever trick.”
<It is a lot like luring a monkey from one cage to another, isn’t it?>
“Is that so?”
“Heyyyyyyy! Stop turning the flirty couple against me just before they join us! Shouldn’t you be telling them how great I am!? …Okay, Kuwajiri-kun, can you tell the class some good things about Sumeragi-kun?”
“You can use her for shade when she is standing up.”
“Too baaaad! It’s night tiiiiime! Okay, let’s get back on topic.”
She gave me the nastiest look.
●
Kuwajiri had her concerns, but…
“I had a hunch when you mentioned defecting, but it seems I was right.”
The Mesopotamian duo outranked her in divinity and school year.
But now was not the time to worry about that. The situation was probably underway even now. Because…
“They are not the DC’s inspectors.”
She said it.
“And if they are not the inspectors, then why would they be sworn to secrecy? That is simple enough: someone other than them – such as their boss – is the inspector. In that case, it does not matter if they do or do not have any direct connection to the inspection. The rules say they are not allowed to say anything about an inspector from within their own group.”
●
…I had a feeling things were headed this way.
Kuwajiri-chan’s analyses were never wrong. That meant her statement here was fact.
“That means the real inspector is someone else. Right, Balancer?”
<To preserve my neutrality, I must say ‘no comment’.>
That answer was all the confirmation they needed. So to speed things up after falling behind…
“Why are they defecting and why did they pick a fight with us?”
“The fight would have been to improve their standing here. Thinking back, they kind of dodged the issue of why they were fighting beforehand. They just said it was ‘politics’.”
But…
“They never said those politics were related to the inspection. So instead of the politics between the DC and Shinto, they were trying to establish their position within the Shinto force after they defected. It was that kind of political fight. That they should be able to talk about.”
“Sounds like a reallll pain.”
Yomoji-chan was right.
But that brought Shifu back to her previous question.
“Why are they defecting?”
Someone raised their hand
It was Kuwajiri-chan.
Shifu looked over and the girl immediately responded.
“I think their boss refused to reverse a decision regarding their mythology recreation. And that boss did so as a representative of the DC.”
●
Bilgamesh felt relief.
He felt like everything they had done since coming here had gone well. Except that the human kept making strange noises.
…Come to think of it, Hato used to be human too, but I don’t remember her ever being like this.
Did that mean it was only the current humans who were weird?
Regardless, the knowledge god called Kuwajiri was correct.
It came down to their mythology recreation.
As gods, gods had their authority, but they also had to do things in accordance with their mythology.
“We were born from mythology, so if we neglect our mythology, we will cease to be gods. It is not known what happens then since there is no precedent, but in the worst case, it could create a contradiction in our very existence as data entities and we would be destroyed.”
However…
“A lot of worlds and gods do not meet a pleasant end in their mythologies and they still want a happy life this time around, so we use interpretations as a form of politics to make the adjustments needed to get by.”
But…
“But if that 5th Generation boss has become a representative of the DC, they’re sure to tell the gods below them that no interpretations are allowed. They couldn’t hold a strong political position against the other mythologies otherwise.”
●
“In their mythology, Bilgamesh and Enkidu got along well enough that fan works about them became popular in later civilizations. And you can see they’re basically husband and wife here.”
But…
“They caused a bit of trouble with the gods, which led the gods to give Enkidu ‘death’ in Bilgamesh’s place. Afterwards, Bilgamesh wandered the world in search of a way to reach the realm of the dead, but he had to give up and accept his own death as well. As you can see, their mythology has an unhappy ending.”
Then what did this mean? Kuwajiri simply faced forward as she explained.
“To show their pride to the other mythologies, you were being forced to do Enkidu’s ‘death’ without any interpretations, weren’t you?”
●
Kuwajiri clearly stated the answer, but she also realized she had succumbed to her bad habit again.
…I have a tendency of bluntly stating harsh truths.
Could she call it a love of knowledge above all else?
No, if she could tell it was a problem, then it could not be that.
She had all the knowledge she could want, yet she had trouble “understanding” things like this. Even she found herself to be a pain at times.
But if she was right about the reason the 5th Generation duo was here, there was something else she did not understand.
“I do not understand how this works as an actual conflict between mythologies. Raidou-senpai, what do you think is going to happen considering all of this, including the time at which they arrived?”
●
“Do you have to give me all the hard questions?”
Kuwajiri glared at him, but Raidou still answered.
He looked up to view the stars in the western sky.
The effects of their battle had vanished when the barrier was removed.
There were no repercussions outside of the actual result.
He spoke while viewing the sky that proved that.
“Since they’re asking to defect, we can assume their boss isn’t here yet. Besides, if this is their boss and an inspector, they must be a top-level god, on the level of a creator. Bringing a god like that from a virtual to a real manifestation would take a lot of preparation. Plus, given their divine protections and authority, the DC can’t let one of their own leave without making adjustments first. So these two knew they had some time even if they were being tracked, which is why they challenged us to a duel.”
But something still bothered him.
“That said, they’re pretty major gods. Mesopotamian mythology is mostly virtual manifestations, so information on their real manifestation is sure to have leaked and reached their boss.”
“But they’re still keeping the secrets they need to keep.”
Yes.
They were keeping those secrets so their location would not be found out. So…
“They managed to do a real manifestation and come here without their boss finding out.”
That revealed something.
“They have an ally back home. And among the top levels, at that.”
At that point, he noticed a contradiction there.
He and Shifu had just fought them.
It was not just the Shinto and Norse mythologies with real manifestations on this planet. Several other mythologies were using it too.
“So they thought the result of the battle would act as a deterrent against the other mythologies.”
That meant everyone had to know they were here.
Yes.
That battle would normally have told everyone they were here and it would have spread from there.
Nevertheless, they were still keeping their secrets. Which meant…
“They are certain something will prevent information on that battle from leaving this planet.”
“What could that be?”
“That would be me.”
He heard a voice and turned around to see a god in casual clothing.
…That’s a low divine rank.
“You’re a former human, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” said the god who wore a white dress below a see-through blouse. “I am with those two. My name is Shamu Hatoko.”
●
Scarecrow sighed in her home.
“I don’t like the way this is headed.”
She removed her coat within a large space.
This was a student dorm. The three-story building was located near Sunakawa Station and she had rented out all of the first-floor rooms and removed the walls to remake it into a library.
Location-wise, she appreciated that she could board the city bus that stopped in front of the dorm and take it straight to a bus stop behind the school.
That was thanks to all the Shinto gods who lived in this area. For example, Tenma, who had been with her until earlier, lived in an apartment two buildings down and across the street.
Scarecrow had told Tenma “see you tomorrow” and asked her to do some bodyguard work, but she had found a familiar face in front of her own room. She thought it might be a visitor, but…
“See, these are my casual clothes.”
This meant something had been going on behind the scenes earlier.
●
Scarecrow asked a question while keeping herself within the light of a streetlight.
“Why did you come to school in that indecent outfit, but wear casual clothes to someone’s home?”
“Weren’t you listening? I’m a temple prostitute.”
“Now, I will hear what you have to say. What do you want?”
“Omokane contacted me twice and, after some discussion, I chose to leave my people with you. The first time was when I borrowed a book from the library and the second was after regrouping with those two. For the second time, we got a little overexcited in the bathhouse and were practicing blowing bubbles until a certain combat freak I know destroyed the Shinto version of the bathhouse and the management god kicked us out. That was when I ran into her again.”
“…”
“What?”
“Meeting her once wasn’t enough to work everything out? Plus, I thought I hid Yatsui and Tenma when I sensed danger and you arrived in the library.”
That woman had a bad habit of adlibbing things despite being a knowledge god and an on-site commander.
…She’s clearly more of a trickster god, if you ask me.
But that led her to analyze things deeply enough to reach the truth.
And that was why she was the commander. However…
“I wish she wasn’t so oblivious to the trouble she puts us through or the ways we try to help her out.”
“Oh? But your decision worked out well for me. If I had managed to hold an actual discussion with Omokane in the library, we might have worked everything out there, but then that previous battle wouldn’t have happened.”
Shamhat smiled a little.
“The first time, she asked me to introduce those two first. She said they could fight duels to determine their position in the ranking. Shinto likes to keep things exciting, doesn’t it? And I think it was that duel that allowed Bilgamesh and Ki to be accepted so readily, so it was good all around that your attempt to help Omokane did not pay off.”
“My way of thinking doesn’t mesh will with yours in general. In this case, my job is to keep an eye out so battles like that do not happen. …And one other thing.”
“Yes?”
“I never said it is a problem that my attempts to help her ‘do not pay off’. The problem is that she is oblivious to them.”
“Is there a difference?”
“There is,” she said. “My way is based on having a conscience.”
“…”
“Sounds like both of us go through a lot for our boss.”
“Since we are in agreement there, I will hear you out. You say the first meeting led to that duel, but what about the second one?”
●
“I can’t believe this.”
Scarecrow walked to her desk while feeling a little blue about still having work to do after taking a bath.
The study desk was a lot like a library counter. It faced the library that covered the entire first floor of the apartment. The refrigerator, sink, bath, kitchen, and bed were all in the “supply room” back behind the desk.
She used this room for work and as a place to leave her knowledge.
But before coming in here, she had received a lot of information from Shamhat at the entrance to her home.
Information leaks were dangerous things.
Contracts made with gods had to be kept. Mythologies and old stories were full of people losing something or suffering other dire consequences when they broke a promise with a god.
That was no different when the promises were made between gods. So she had wondered if this information leak would reach their “boss” based on the contract linking them, but…
“Remember during the day, when you said I must be a spy? Well, it’s true. And that’s why I have the authority to conceal it when I leak information. Otherwise, no one would trust me during our nighttime ‘engagements’, would they?”
In that case, thought Scarecrow. There had been a largescale battle in the western sky and Omokane had (as usual) only given bits and pieces of information over the Revelation Board, but…
“Are you keeping information on that duel from leaking out?”
“I haven’t been with those two the entire time. The gods of each mythology gave me permission to use my authority while visiting your base within the school here. I am here as the vanguard, but I will not send the DC any information on you until some time has passed. When a DC inspector is liable to show up here, that seems like a fairly useful deal for the other mythologies to make.”
I see, thought Scarecrow as understanding reached her.
It was true she had not been contacted by any other mythologies despite the scope of that battle. And…
“Kunugi-san contacted our people, but I haven’t heard anything from anyone since then. Are you also preventing any information from reaching us?”
“If I am keeping anything from leaking out, it only seemed to strike a nice balance if I also prevent anything from getting in.”
“Wouldn’t it strike a better balance to let information travel inwards?”
“For a political information manipulation authority, sure. But mine is a prostitute’s one. Prostitutes look tight-lipped, but grow quite talkative in bed, so do you really think everyone is going to tell them their secrets?”
“This has been a learning experience for me.”
“It’s a surprisingly romantic authority, don’t you think?”
“I was thinking it would lead to a lot of stress building up.”
Shamhat smiled, but was she treating Scarecrow like a child? She decided it did not matter.
“Does that mean information on Bilgamesh and Enkidu has not leaked out even after that battle of theirs?”
“Yes, it does. This is my specialty, after all. But you know there is one thing I have trouble with, don’t you?”
She did. Or she could figure it out, anyway. During the day, Shamhat had broken through her “guidance”.
Which meant…
“You are good at manipulating ‘internal’ information, but you have trouble manipulating ‘external’ information, don’t you?”
“Yes. I don’t do the external stuff. That’s why I needed a decent location back when I did it with Enkidu.”
So…
“Look into it. The information was blocked, but I’m bad at detecting movements on the outside. With your ‘guidance’, you can tell when someone is coming, can’t you? Then can you check and see if our boss has come here?”
●
How strange, thought Scarecrow. Isn’t it a little soon for their boss to be arriving as a DC member?
“What is the meaning of this? Bilgamesh and Enkidu only just arrived independently. How could their boss have arrived so quickly?”
“It means they rushed straight here while brushing aside all the issues related to the internal power balance and taking a real manifestation.”
“What god would be so reckless?”
“Oh? Don’t you have a god like that? It’s a pattern seen in every mythology, so you should have someone similar. Yes, Mesopotamia also has a high-level god who behaves wildly, like the rules do not apply to them.”
Anyway, that was the conversation they had just held.
Shamhat had gone to regroup with the others, so Scarecrow had no choice but to take a seat and face the library.
She had to investigate.
She held both hands out in front of her, opened her mouth, and formed her Words.
When from the east, trap and send south.
When from the south, trap and send west.
When from the west, trap and send north.
When from the north, trap and send inward.
When from the outside, show the blossoms and send to me.
Those Words created an enclosure around her.
Countless Revelation Boards appeared on the bookcases. They changed angle in a stepped fashion, raced out, produced multiple layers, and surrounded the bookcase while linking together like pipes.
Over and over, light appeared on their surface and all the bookcases blossomed with ether flowers. It all became a box made of Revelation Boards and that became a flowerbed.
“Blossom and teach, Enclosure of Visions Past.”
All of the flowers blossomed.
Ether flowers bloomed from the Revelation Board box connecting the bookcases and the feedback returned to her.
Revelation Boards appeared by her hands to display the search results.
…I use the “information” of books as a catalyst to access all the information within my reach. Then I only have to find the information that is facing us.
There it was.
“That must be it.”
Just one of the flowerbed’s blossoms was facing her way.
When she compared it to the feedback Revelation Boards by her hands, she indeed found the information there.
It said…
“The inspector!?”
The Mesopotamian “boss” was already in this divine world as an inspector.
●
Shifu received an emergency message from Scarecrow.
“Shifu-san!? The others are with you, right? Including Shamhat and the Mesopo-duo!?”
What kind of abbreviation is that? Shifu wondered. Then again, Kubiko-chan can be rather longwinded when she starts explaining stuff. We can stop Kukwajiri-chan because we outrank her, but Kubiko-chan’s in our year, so that doesn’t work. And I’m getting kinda longwinded myself here. So…
“Everyone’s here. What is it?”
“Was I right?”
“This could hardly be worse, yes. …Anyway, where are you all headed now? And where is Yatsui?”
Is she panicking? Shifu wondered, but she made sure not to panic herself. The others noticed the exchange and turned around, but she gave them a reassuring wave.
“We’re headed to Sumeragi-chan’s place. Wanna join us? As for Omokane-chan, I think she went off to do something earlier.”
She heard Kubiko-chan mutter “it’s always something with her”, but she pretended not to hear it.
And after a pause for a breath, Kubiko-chan hurriedly continued.
“Sumeragi-kun’s place, you said? Then you should come here instead! My place is closer!”
“Eh!? Scareko-senpai’s place!? You’re inviting us over!? For real!?”
“Eh!? W-wait just a second! Why are you inviting Sumeragi-kun over!? Regardless of your answer, I won’t forgive you!”
“Regardless?”
It’s nice how Yomoji-chan can take all our craziness in stride.
Now, the others were being noisy, but Tooru suddenly spoke up.
“Is it the inspector?”
“Yes.”
Some movement immediately followed.
There was a slight disturbance in En-chan’s pace as she walked alongside Shifu.
She was clearly shaken. However…
“Is that even possible? If we’re talking about a creator-level god from Mesopotamian mythology who was also involved in Sumer, then simply leaving the virtual group by taking a real manifestation would cause enough of a commotion in and of itself. I mean, even if the real manifestation is kept hidden, it greatly affects a mythology when a multi-authority god moves around. That’s why they need time to make adjustments in advance. Isn’t that why these two hurried here and had that duel with us?”
“Kuwajiri-san, Mesopotamian mythology has a trickster god who is on the same level as a creator god but who is not bound by any of that. Think of it like Susanoo for us.”
“That is correct,” said Shamhat. “Every mythology has a troublemaker like that.”
“Yes. This 5th Generation can move freely and has the traits of a war god.”
Who was that?
“Oh? You really are just walking around in the middle of the night out here, aren’t you?”
They heard a voice.
It came from dead ahead where they saw a girl wearing an extra layer over a new-style uniform.
Her blonde hair fluttered in the night breeze with the black sky in the background.
“I am Eshita Inana. I would be one of Bilgamesh and Enkidu’s bosses. Yes, I am here for my job as an inspector and to bring those two back with me.”
Interlude[edit]
“Oh, it’s only you.”
“I had a feeling it was just you.”
“Eh? Is that any way to treat me!?”
Chapter 28: Treasure Hunt[edit]
Now, which one do you like?
Raidou saw this new arrival as a pain in the ass.
“Kuwajiri.”
“Yes. Based on the DC’s records, I expect Eshita Inana is a real manifestation of Eshtar, from 5th Generation Mesopotamian mythology.”
“Eshtar?”
That must not have been a familiar name in Shinto. No, Senpai-san was on the level of a local god within Shinto, so it made sense she was unfamiliar with Eshtar.
“Eshtar is an older name for Ishtar.”
“Correct. And Ishtar is becoming fairly well known in fantasy stories in this era.”
“I-I’m sorry, but I don’t know much about video games.”
“You mean Ishtar from the Return of Ishtar, don’t you?”
“What was she returning from exactly?”
“A long night at the arcade playing that game?”
“Yeah, it did take around 5 credits to beat.”
<In the future, the record will be completing it with 2 credits.>
“Really makes you think about what the purpose of arcade games is. I feel like games changed a lot once you could play them on home consoles without worrying about paying for credits.”
“What are you talking about?”
The others seemed not to know the answer to Shamhat’s question, but Kuwajiri hazarded a guess while tilting her head.
“I think this is more ‘90s references.”
“Yeah, it’s about video games. I think we played that one a few times when you were with us at the Daiichi Department Store, Kuwajiri-chan. It’s that one where two players could explore a labyrinth together.”
“The title screen has the title in English, so that might be why she doesn’t remember it as well.”
“Oh, right.” Kuwajiri nodded. But, “Japanese games have no honor at all, do they?”
It was scary how easy it was to imagine what she meant by that.
But Raidou knew something about this himself.
“Wasn’t there an Eshtar game on the MZ-1500?”
“You’re thinking of Issural! I’ve made that mistake a few times myself!”
Was that it? If so…
“Kuwajiri, I’m really not sure about this, so help a guy out.”
“Gladly,” she said without sarcasm. “Eshtar is a major god from Mesopotamian mythology.”
●
Kuwajiri watched what she said.
She was talking about the person right in front of her.
If she only spoke the truth, she would be accurately describing that person and there would be no issues there.
But what if she said something untrue?
…It would violate that god’s “phase”.
Words had power in the same way phases did. That was why incantations existed, but if you said something mistaken about a god, you could not blame them for immediately growing hostile.
Especially for someone with a low divine rank like Kuwajiri. Someone like Eshtar was powerful enough to force through even a false accusation against her.
So she chose her words carefully.
“Eshtar was originally a goddess named Inanna and she is a god of harvest, combat, beauty, and love. She is also associated with the planet Venus, so through the merging of various religions, she crossed Europe and became the origin of goddesses like Venus and Aphrodite.”
“Oh, I know about that too. I do,” said the idiot. “In Druaga, a fake Ishtar appears on Floor 57 and the real one appears on Floor 60, but I thought it was a game where you were supposed to defeat everything you saw, so I attacked the Floor 60 Ishtar and got Zapped, which hardly seems fair.”
“Shut uuuup!!”
“Hey, you! Are you just making stuff up about me!?”
Kuwajiri could not agree more.
“Hey, idiot! You need to bow down and make up an apology!”
“Kuwajiri-chan? I’m not sure that’s the best way to say that.”
Kuwajiri kind of agreed.
But the idiot tilted her head.
“Hold on. Are you okay, Kuwajiri? I was talking about a game. You really should be able to distinguish games from the real world. Can you maybe do that?”
“Maybe I could kill you and solve all of our problems in one fell swoop.”
“Are Mesopotamian gods okay with live sacrifices?”
“I don’t know about older times, but by our time, it was all done with sheep.”
“Yeah,” said Enkidu. “We would use sheep kidneys for divination. That really takes me back.”
“How does that work? Like finding a fatty kidney means good luck for the day or something?”
“To be honest, it wasn’t all that different from that.”
Kuwajiri felt like she was receiving a lot of needless knowledge as a knowledge god.
●
It was obvious the others were whispering among themselves now, but Kuwajiri did not let it get to her.
“There are a lot of stories about Eshtar dating back to when she was known as Inanna. The most well-known is where she visits the underworld by approaching her sister, who rules the underworld, and makes a ridiculous demand but is instead tricked. Then she returns from the underworld by stealing the ‘wisdom’ of a wisdom god. Oh, and also the story where she falls in love with Bilgamesh there, is shot down, and is so angry she lashes out at Enkidu.”
“Eh? Eh? But that last one…I mean, that’s Kidou-san, right? Ehh? It isn’t like that nowadays, is it?”
“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Wait, why aren’t you two saying anything? You mean it really happened?”
Bilgamesh raised his hand.
“I had Ki and that was enough for me.”
“And I was all, ‘don’t you dare lay a finger on my Bil’.”
“You were a lot more enthusiastic back then, huh?”
“Well, Mesopotamia back then was 100% A-OK with man-on-man stuff, so there is even surviving art showing men drinking while engaging in some ‘docking’.”
“Why is that the topic that gets the Shinto god of knowledge to interject via divine transmission?”
She decided to write it off as another underground aspect of Shinto.
But…
“Eshtar has a lot of stories and spread to many different regions. She was popular enough to become the patron goddess of her home’s capital city. But in the mythology, she had parents and relatives who controlled nature and creation, but she was free and not bound by such roles. So since these two are involved, it is entirely possible she came here on a whim.”
And…
“Her primary trait – you could even call it her authority – is selfishness. Her stories are born from her uninhibited nature and, in a way, that makes her a being outside the spectrum of good and evil. Think of her as someone who thinks everything should go her way.”
●
“If you ask me, this could hardly be worse. No offense to her.”
Raidou reflexively added that second line, but Sumeragi agreed with his main point.
“I spent so many coins on her game.”
“Like I said, I didn’t have to worry about that with the X68 version, but some of the magic had slightly different effects. Some of that worked in your favor, but some felt really unfair, so it was something of a tradeoff.”
“Yeah, instead of playing an improved port, you wanted to play the original with the bad parts fixed, right?”
He shook the idiot’s hand.
Anyway, he had something to say here.
“Hey, Eshita…can I call you Eshita? Or would you prefer Eshtar?”
“Eshita is fine by me.”
Then he would go with that.
“For now, we refuse any duels with you. We constructed a barrier and used up a lot of energy in our battle with these two, after all. If we’re going up against a major player of the 5th Generation, we want to be in top form.”
“What, one measly battle and you can’t manage another? Is that all the Norse war god has got?”
Kuwajiri nodded at what Eshita said.
That meant this was the “selfishness” Kuwajiri had mentioned. In that case…
“Is this a part of her personality, and not an intentional provocation?” he asked via the Revelation Boards.
“Eh!? How is that fair!? Just because it’s ‘a part of your personality’, you don’t get to say whatever you want with no repercussions! We need to get after someone when they say something rude! What, Kuwajiri? Why are you looking at me like that!?”
“Sumeragi-chaaan, I know you want attention, but let’s do this later, okay?”
“Later!? Okay! But you promised! You promised to do this later!”
That condition convinced the idiot to quiet down and the conversation could continue.
“We’re two generations after you, so wouldn’t you be shaming yourself if you picked a fight with us while we’re low on ether?”
“Eh? No? I’d just beat the snot out of you and go home to brag about it. Shame? Only idiots pass up a chance to win over something like that. And if anyone complains, they’re just going to complain without actually doing anything about it, so those complaints are entirely meaningless.”
“Wow, I can kinda get behind that attitude.”
Raidou understood it as well. In that case…
“Then do you want to go fight a duel?”
“Eh? Are you serious?”
She looked a little disturbed by that.
Did that mean she had not been serious about this? Or…
“Sounds like she came here to do something other than fight a duel.”
That was it.
●
“First, I need to do my job as an inspector,” said Eshita. “The Shinto terraforming is progressing too slowly, so I’m here to recommend removing your right to terraform.”
And…
“I am also here to take back those two who defected to Shinto.”
Just as she said that…
“Oh, excuse me, but I would like to interject here! Is that okay!?”
A familiar face approached.
●
Eshita knew who Omokane was. In fact…
“I thought you were weirdly willing to help when I asked for directions, but you wanted to join in, didn’t you?”
“Eh!? Omokane-san, whose side are you on!?”
“I am on Shinto’s side.”
That was incredibly hard to believe, but that was why she was so trustworthy.
“So as long as it benefits Shinto, you don’t care what the other groups do?”
“Exactly right. I have no intention of sticking my head into another mythology’s business. I know that Shinto is not strong enough for that at present,” she said. “We are currently receiving assistance from the other mythologies. Forgetting that and moving to the forefront would be meaningless.”
She means that, thought Eshita.
If she could be so decisive specifically because she belonged to a weaker mythology, then there was nothing to worry about. So…
“Where is your negotiator?”
“You want to do it here?”
“Do you have somewhere else in mind?”
“Well,” said Omokane while opening a Revelation Board. And after a moment, “There is a convenience store nearby. If we use its parking lot, there will be little damage done if things get rowdy, and supplies will be readily available.”
“Outdoors? I have a high divine rank, you know?”
Eshita spread her mouth horizontally and complained, so Omokane pointed to a shallow point in the sky.
This was the ’90s Earth sky made by Balancer.
She did not know how realistic it was, but she knew the AIs had the power to make it as realistic as possible.
So she looked in the direction Omokane pointed.
“You can see the morning star in the virtual sky, can’t you? Isn’t that your star? Anywhere its light shines is your home, correct?”
They ended up going to the parking lot of a nearby store called FamilyMart.
●
I asked Kuwajiri a question while following after that bigshot god called – Eshita was it? – who had boldly taken the lead.
“Why is that goddess wearing so much when it’s summer?”
“Eshtar grows weaker when she removes her clothing.”
“What in the world?”
“A fair question.” Kuwajiri wrinkled her brow. “One of her stories has her go to the underworld ruled by her sister in order to steal that sister’s power. So her sister harassed her by stealing an article of clothing from her at each gate into the underworld.”
“Harassed her.”
“Yes,” confirmed Kuwajiri, causing Senpai to blush.
“That would be a problem, wouldn’t it?”
“It would. Now, Eshtar had all seven articles of clothing removed, leaving her naked, and she was captured in that weakened state.”
“So was that clothing special equipment to strengthen her or something?”
“Nothing like that is ever mentioned.”
“Based on the cause and effect, the only possible conclusion is that stripping weakens her.”
“Yes. So her authority makes it so she grows weaker as she removes clothing, but looking at her here, it must also work so she grows stronger as she puts on more clothing. She’s wearing more than 5 layers, isn’t she?”
It seemed like she would be hot like that, but maybe she was fine since she was a Middle Eastern god.
But then I noticed she had stopped walking. And as I wondered why…
“Wait! I don’t know where we’re going! Why would you have me take the lead!?”
Was this goddess perhaps a moron?
●
They turned the corner after walking one block too far, so they arrived at FamilyMart from the back.
●
“I never thought I’d be hanging out with gods in a convenience store parking lot.”
I tilted my head and Raidou-senpai spoke up.
“Hey, at least we’re in the back so we don’t get in the way.”
The familiar way in which he pulled over a beer case to use as a chair was kind of amazing. As for Kuwajiri…
“Move out of the way, you. I’ll set up a space for us.”
She lined up some beer cases as seats and side tables we could use.
We were surrounded by the noise of a big convenience store air conditioning unit and the…what were those things called?
“What are those things that lure bugs in and then go zappo?”
<Those are called electric insect killers, or more colloquially as bug zappers.>
“You soooometimes get a rhino beetle orrrr other bug too big to die and it keeps getting zapped oooover and over.”
“You do, don’t you?” I said while Senpai and the others returned from buying some snacks.
They had apparently taught the Druaga Duo how to use money and how convenience stores worked.
“I didn’t know this was a country where you can buy women’s underwear 24 hours a day!”
“I am glad the horse meat on sale there was canned. I could never have gone in there again otherwise.”
“I’ve already used them a bit, but is there anything the employees can’t do?”
They had apparently each made their own unique discoveries.
“Well, we may be here for some negotiation or debate, but how about we start with some snacks? We had to avoid anything that melts, but I think we have all the other kinds of snacks they had available.”
“The kind in cardboard tubes only have small paper plates when you open them, so they’re kind of hard to deal with.”
“…”
“What is it?”
“Hey, um, those bags? Are you saying they have snacks in them?”
I answered by wordlessly opening a bag of Calbee Potato Chips and showing her.
“Are you for real!? Hey, Bil! Come check this out! It’s incredible!”
“Huh? What is this about? Keep in mind I am known as ‘he who saw all’.”
Raidou-senpai and I answered by wordlessly opening a bag of the Grilled Beef flavor and showing him.
“What sorcery is this!? Hey, Hato! Come here! They are showcasing sorcery!”
“Oh? Maybe for you and your ancient sensibilities. But I am more informed, so I doubt this will surprise me.”
Raidou-senpai, Shifu-senpai, and I answered by wordlessly opening a bag of the Ethnican flavor and showing her.
“How can this be? Hold on! Show me that again! I can use it for my nighttime entertainment!”
“What are you people wasting time on when we should be negotiating!?”
Raidou-senpai, Shifu-senpai, Kuwajiri, and I responded by wordlessly opening a bag of Karamucho and showing her.
“…”
“I-I knew that! I totally knew that was in there!”
“Oh, reallllly?”
“O-of course I did! How could I not!? I am the woman who stole the wisdom god’s wisdom and ran all the way back to town with it!”
“What, are you Sazae-san?”
Hatoko-senpai laughed at that, so she must have gotten the reference.
Meanwhile, Busty Girl-senpai looked my way while getting excited about the Consommé flavor that Raidou-senpai’s group introduced her to.
She raised her upturned hands a few times, which likely meant I was free to mess with Eshtar some more, so I held a bag of chips out toward her.
“Okay then, popular goddess who has both wisdom and beauty! I don’t know how to open this, so can you do it for me!?”
I handed it to her.
●
She could not open it.
●
“I-I can normally open these, but I’m just having a bad day! Also, I think this bag is defective!”
She handed it to Senpai who tilted her head and opened it with ease.
“…”
“Oops.”
“Calbee bags are really easy to open in the center like that, aren’t they? Other brands aren’t that well designed.”
“Wait! How could you open that when I couldn’t!? How can a low-ranked goddess open something that a super-duper-high ranked goddess like me couldn’t!?”
“How you couldn’t iiiis something of a mysteryyyy.”
“She’s clumsy?”
“Her nails are too long?”
“She’s too old?”
“A cultural gap.”
“I didn’t like any of that, but who just called me old!?”
Eshtar held a hand out toward me.
“I want a rematch! A rematch! I can do it this time, so close that bag back up!”
●
“Closing it again is a little beyond our abilities.”
“Super glue would be too strong, but I could just use small dabs of it.”
“Oh, I have a stapler, so let’s go with that.”
“A stapler?”
“Yup, a stapler.”
Shifu showed it off, eliciting gasps of surprise from the Mesopotamians.
“Are you for real?”
“A shame it does not work with clay tablets, but still impressive.”
“I knew about this! I did!”
“But why do you carry a stapler with you, Shifu-senpai?”
“I bet I know. To sew up wounds when you’re injured in a fight, right?”
“We might be war gods, but we don’t prepare for that on a daily basis.”
“It’s just to staple together my shopping notes. My uniform’s back pocket has way too much room, you see.”
●
Anyway, I handed Eshtar the bag of stapled-shut chips.
“Here ya go.”
“Hmph! Just you watch!”
Mesopotamian mythology’s most popular goddess began awkwardly opening a bag of chips behind a convenience store. And after a while…
“Ow! Damn bag!”
After some cursing, she finally managed it. The bag was fairly ripped up, but…
“How about that!? Opened it, didn’t I!? Of course I did! That was easy!”
The scattered applause from everyone else put a huge smile on her face.
“Okay, I’ll be taking this as an offering! That’s fine, right!? I mean, look how much more you have over there!”
“Eh?”
“What? Are you saying I can’t?”
“Eh? Ahhhhh, no, um, you can if you want. Go ahead.”
●
“Hm? Senpai, what has you so flustered?”
“Well,” she said with her shoulders drooping a little. “It’s just that Karamucho is your favorite snack.”
“Eh?”
I carelessly expressed my confusion and everyone fell silent for a moment. And eventually…
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Ah!”
Shifu-senpai placed an arm around Senpai’s shoulder.
“Hey, Senpai-chan, let’s have a chat about this later on, okay?”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait! I, but, um, I didn’t mean, um, uh.”
“Not to worry, Senpai! I will eat Karamucho for every meal from now on! And I’ll buy up Koikeya stock to drive up the stock prices!”
“Eh!? What’s this? Is it about love!? I’m a goddess of love, so let me hear all about it!”
She was a more casual goddess than expected, so we explained the situation to her. And…
“This stuff, right!?”
She grabbed a 100g bag of Karamucho from the “pile o’ snacks” we had made.
Then she quickly moved back to her beer case chair.
“This is that human’s good luck item for love, right!? If you want this back so your love will come true, then give me everything I want in the upcoming negotiation!”
“But they sell those at every convenience store and supermarket.”
“They sell love-fulfilling items in stores in this country!?”
“I’m gonna be eating that for every meal now, so of course they sell them everywhere.”
“Sumeragi-chan, she’s surprisingly pure, so maybe you should stop lying to her.”
“I’m not lying! I’m really gonna eat Karamucho for every meal!”
I noticed Eshtar was raising her hand. And of all things…
“Then am I allowed to eat this since I’m a goddess of love?”
“Yeah, knock yourself out. We’ve got other snacks over here.”
Hearing that, she reached for the bag and then stopped.
“…”
After a moment, she walked over to me with unopened bag in hand.
And with a big smile…
“Open it for me!”
●
“There’s no perhaps about it anymore. Even if I’m being generous, this major ancient goddess is definitely a moron.”
“You don’t get to call anyone that.”
“Yeah, but I think I see why she’s so popular.”
“I am so sorry.”
“Do you see why I want to keep that innocent moron away from my partner? I can’t have him catching her dumbness.”
●
But what were we to do?
I watched as everyone settled in there.
There were three rows of beer case chairs and side tables.
With Eshtar in front of it all, the first row had the Druaga Duo and Omokane-senpai. There was an empty seat there, so I could guess there was someone they wanted to join them. Maybe me!
The second and third rows were arranged more like a circle with beer cases gathered in the center like a table. That was where all the snacks and drinks were.
“We’re pretty obviously treating this like a spectator sport, aren’t we?”
“Hey, there’s not much for us to do here.”
“If anything, Shifu and I are like witnesses. Kuwajiri, you use your knowledge to help out.”
“Understood. But who is the Shinto negotiator?”
Just as Kuwajiri asked that, we heard a voice from the front of the Family Mart.
“Excuse me! I will be participating as the negotiator!”
I recognized the voice I heard and person I saw.
It was the underclassman who had been with Scareko-senpai at the bathhouse before.
“I am Sugawara Tenma! It is a pleasure to meet you!”
●
Tenma was fairly excited.
She had made sure her summer uniform was impeccable and she pulled a folding fan and a pen set from her pocket in place of a notepad. She also checked on the large and small swords at her hip.
…This is a negotiation with a major god! How exciting!
“Sugawara-kouhai, do you think you can do this?”
“I do. I was a politician in my past life, after all.”
Yes. Unlike the other gods, she was a human who had become a god, so she had inherited some realistic skills along with her authority. In her case, those were mostly politics related.
“When looking after the imperial palace and while demoted and sent into exile, I handled my fair share of international negotiations. I may have been defeated in power struggles where connections are king, but that is a different beast from politics and negotiations. Simply put, I can handle both knowledge and combat and I can perform both politics and negotiations. I am a multitasking god.”
“Ohh, with all that going for you, it’s even more amazing you had room to cram dealing with a major ancient god in there. Anyway, here’s part of your payment up front.”
She handed Tenma a box of Potelong. And…
“Um, Tenma-san, I thought you would need a stand, so I made one for you by stacking two beer cases.”
“There are empty bottles in the bottom one, but don’t let it bother you. That was all we had.”
“Makes you look like a heavy drinkerrrr.”
Wait.
“And if you’re thirsty, you can’t go wrong with a Sangaria Hiyashi Ame.”
“Um, excuse me.”
“I really, really don’t want to answer any questions right now, but I feel sorry for you, so go ahead.”
Those Norse gods scared her, but she forced herself to actually ask her question.
“Um, I heard the inspector was here and we were holding a negotiation concerning the Shinto terraforming, but what is all this?”
She asked her primary question while viewing the informal party where they had even opened up some canned yakitori.
“Where is my negotiating partner?”
Everyone answered by looking back behind her.
In the seat facing the rest, heavily-dressed Eshtar was munching on Karamucho.
“Damn, this stuff is good! …So what’s up? Are we doing this meeting, or what?”
“Wow, there goes all of my excitement!”
Can I really handle this?
Interlude[edit]
“I am so sorry.”
“Oh, um, I am sorry too.”
Chapter 29: Blockout 01[edit]
Is she okay?
Hmm
Hatoko liked the ginger ale she tried.
…I need to buy some more before I leave.
Back home during the mythological age, there had been no ginger. Same with sugar.
There had been beer, but it had not used hops and lacked any bitterness. It had been more like a sweet drink and had actually been a little like this ginger ale, but…
…This ginger stuff gives the drink a nice sharp flavor!
Unlike ancient times, her home had received some imported herbs during her virtual manifestation. Ginger had been one of them and they had received sugar too, so she was pretty sure they could make this.
But that would be risky. The sugar was especially risky. Sugar had been too powerful for her back when the only sweetness she had known came from honey, fruits, or glucose syrup made from fermented wheat. The rapid importation of sugar had led to most people having more bountiful weights.
In other words, I need to lose some weight.
Oh, but it’s best to have a little extra weight, right? This can work. Or maybe not.
But back to the ginger ale. The balance between sweet and sharp was nice. Canada, huh? Where’s that? She looked it up and found it was a long way from her home. It probably belonged to the 8th generation mythologies or later, so she wondered if her mythology could surround it and take control of all the ginger ale.
On the other hand, the convenience stores seemed good enough. She hoped one of those Seven Elevens would open in the Mesopotamian virtual manifestation world.
“Balancer, when do these convenience stores reach the Middle East? Around 1500 BC by any chance?”
<Unfortunately, Seven Eleven only opens stores within the UAE starting in 2015.>
“How awful. How am I supposed to last another 25 years?”
“Defect! You can defect! Go for it!”
The Norse goddess made it sound so simple, but she was planning to stay here a while longer on a whim. However, she had not requested to defect. The upcoming political dealings would probably influence their decision on this. So…
“Eshtar, are you ready to do your inspector job?”
●
Eshtar liked the Karamucho she had tried.
…I can see why that human said she would eat these for every meal!
What are these even made of? The back of the bag says potatoes, but…potatoes? What’re potatoes? My Revelation Board says that’s a crop from America, but…America? Where the hell is America? My Revelation Board says that’s a new continent, but…a new continent?
…How am I supposed to know what happened 3000 years after my time!?
Karamucho seemed to come around 500 years after that, but that was a separate issue.
Oh, but you don’t really have to pay attention to the outside world during your virtual manifestation. So it isn’t my fault I didn’t know about potatoes! Of course I didn’t know!
Still, these things are good. And there’s still a big bag of them, so this might just be the best day ever.
“Um, Eshtar?”
“What!? Do I get another bag!?”
Hatoko gave her a bottle, so she chugged it.
“It’s so good! What is this!? Ginger!?”
“Yes, well, it was from Omokane over there.”
“A gift!? At least someone knows how to treat me! Now, what else!?”
“Oh, we have a big bag of Karamucho. And some napkins.”
“How thoughtful! What mythology are you from!?”
“You have to ask!? This is Senpai we’re talking about! Just look at those boobs and try again!”
Eshita had no idea what that was about, but the girl who gave her the Karamucho answered the question.
“U-um, I am Shinto.”
“Shinto!? Then you’re the one’s I’m inspecting! So what’s this!? Trying to bribe me with Karamucho!?”
“Um, will it work?”
“Wow! These are so good! I could get hooked on them!”
Bribing an official? For shame.
“Man! If you were some random spirit instead of a Shinto god, I would’ve ranked you up to a ‘god of giving Karamucho’!”
●
“…”
“Is Mesopotamian mythology really that casual about this stuff?”
“I am so sorry.”
“I think Eshtar is especially special in this case.”
“To add to that, Mesopotamian mythology is a polytheistic religion with more than 2100 gods over the entire area and time period it was followed. So it seems fine to me for one of those to be a ‘god of giving Karamucho’ or a ‘god of giving Ethnican’.”
“Oh! Ethnican! You like Calbee, don’t you!?”
“To add more to that, the stories in Mesopotamian mythology get more and more casual as time goes on. With Bil and me, it reaches a point where fanfiction would be taking it more seriously.”
<To add even more to that, Karamucho came out in ’84, Ethnican came out in ’86, and ‘super spicy’ won the new word award in ’86. That should be enough to introduce these gods to this era.>
●
…Ethnican!? You mean there’s more!?
What was I doing here again? wondered Eshtar while accepting an opened bag labeled “grilled beef”.
She paused to help her remember. And then…
“Hey! You’re trying to win me over with food, aren’t you!? Well, it won’t work!”
“What if we threw in this Polinky that just came out the other day?”
“Wow! These are so good! The combination of sweet and salty is- wait, no!”
She noticed someone in the other group had their hand raised.
“What is it!? You have your hand up, so speak your mind!”
“Um, I’m supposed to be the negotiator, so when are we going to hold the actual negotiation?”
Everyone fell silent.
They all glared at Eshtar, so she knew exactly what to say.
“It’s not my fault!”
●
Anyway, thought Eshtar while taking a breath and wiping off her hands with the wet wipes she had someone open for her.
“Then let’s get down to business. I would like to keep this short.”
“Understood.”
Then…
“First of all, explain the delays in the terraforming.”
“Very well,” replied the negotiator. “Shinto’s terraforming of this planet is in fact progressing on schedule. You could even say we are ahead of schedule. If you heard of any delays, there must have been some kind of miscommunication.”
●
Eshtar lightly tilted her head at that sudden counterattack.
…What kind of claim is that?
But that was fine. These differences of opinion were the entire reason for sending an inspector, so she knew what she had to say here.
“What? You’re saying there are no delays?”
And the claim of being ahead of schedule was utterly absurd.
“You are clearly behind schedule. Four months have passed in this divine world, but you have only created a 300 square meter patch of land.”
She opened a Revelation Board that showed the terraforming records of the other planets.
She checked the timeline for the first four months and displayed the models of the planets at that time.
“The planet done by Yomoji over there was almost entirely complete at the four month mark. And the planets done by those Norse gods and by the other forces had the surface almost entirely complete by four months. This is the only planet that has not done that. Care to explain?”
“There is nothing to explain. But if I must, I would say that this is normal.”
The negotiator made a bold claim.
“Terraforming is a time-consuming process.”
●
Tenma thought this should be viewed as a problem to be solved.
…When you encounter a problem, you must determine what it is and work toward a solution.
It was inefficient to start throwing around accusations when you encountered a problem.
After all, personnel and time were limited resources.
So even if this inspector was far above her rank, she had to say this.
“First of all, the Shinto group sent to this planet is primarily made up of Earthly Gods. We do have three Heavenly Gods, but the other sixteen, including me, are either Earthly Gods or humans made into gods. There is a large difference in the number of gods and the overall divine rank of the gods sent here when compared to the other planets.”
●
“What even is divine rank?”
“Well,” said Raidou-senpai in response to my question. “It generally refers to the extent of your sovereignty, your number of worshipers, and the historical rank associated with that.”
“Sovereignty? Historical rank?”
<The extent of a god’s sovereignty refers to how much space they can control in relation to their authority. In other words, it refers to the space they have control over using their authority. The authority connection means it is calculated based on a residential space since that will have the most authority links.>
“It ranks their sphere of control and can be broken out into different levels: World, Space, Heaven, Planet, Realm, Region, Country, Metropolis, City, Town, Village, House, Room, Hidden, and Empty.”
“You look awfully proud of yourself for rattling of a list of units that make no sense.”
<Now, now.> Balancer shook their screen downwards. <At Empty, they have a divine rank of 0. They exist as a unique being, but they have only just come into being and are much like a spirit. As they grow, they reach the title of Hidden at a divine rank of 1. The difference between 0 and 1 seems simple, but it is crucially important. It is the difference between being mere ether and having a mind of your own.>
“Sorry, I still don’t get it. Is it like when you first become aware of the opposite sex?”
“If that’s what it takes for you to understand it, then go with that.”
I decided to go with that.
“I think I get the ones like room, house, and village. Is it using SimCity rules?”
“Yeah, more or less. It measures the extent of the space you can control. ‘Room’ means a diameter of a meter.”
“So by room, we mean a bathroom.”
“There are other rooms that size. Like a closet. So at 1m, you could say it is more like a closet than a room. At that level, we’re talking about a guardian deity of a closet or something. And once you reach House, you have a diameter of 10m.”
“Woo hoo! That’s like three stories tall. That’s a pretty big house!”
“Anyway, Village is a radius of 100m. Do you notice a pattern yet?”
I thought about the numbers I had just heard. House was 10m and Village was 100m.
“It’s going up by powers of 10.”
“Yes, so the next one is 1000.”
“Town is 1000m or 1km. City is 10km, Metropolis is 100km, Country is 1000km, Region is 10,000km, Realm is 100,000km, Planet is 1,000,000km, Heaven is 10,000,000km, Space is 100,000,000km, and World is 1,000,000,000km. The numbers don’t really mean all that much on the upper end there.”
I tried imagining it, but…
“What is all that based on?”
“The World class has a one billion kilometer sphere of control and the shortest distance between Earth and Saturn is more than 1.2 billion, so it’s about that much.”
<Ancient humans were capable of observing Saturn as the furthest planet from Earth, so that was effectively the extent of the ‘world’ they would have thought of a god as creating.>
“Then,” I said. “If we had someone with that vast a sphere of control, couldn’t we just get them to do the terraforming?”
“When you control that much, you also have to maintain control of it all.”
“Yes. Gods with vast areas of control must maintain those areas and also maintain the other gods living there, so they have trouble staying in the black as it is. Our own authorities are constantly being drained to preserve the laws of this world, so we cannot act at our full power either. Our available power is reduced considerably.”
“Thaaaat’s right,” said Yomoji-senpai. “I’ve got a Worrrrld class divine rank, but maintaining eeeeverything eats up a lot of power. I mean, I’ve got to supporrrrt an entire world on my owwwwn. The initial planet was easy, but then I got anotherrrr planet, and now this plaaaace? There will probably be morrrre, so I have to leave some roooom to spare.”
<Yes, there are some gods like Yomoji who are legit World class, but other mythologies have gods that “feel like” World class because they can act like one over a smaller area but actually have a lower divine rank. And with multiple World class gods, they have to strike a balance between each other, which can use up even more power than just maintaining their world.>
“That is why the DC chooses who they send to help with the terraforming. Our seemingly World class gods are actually at the Realm level, so we could be in trouble if an actual World class shows up.”
“Shinto’s World class gods have been sealed away using reserved manifestations, so that’s another way we’re at a disadvantage.”
I had a thought about all this.
“That’s a lotta politics.”
And as usual, what I thought also left my mouth.
●
“I bet there are a lot of problems with overlapping control areas between gods.”
“That is why we make careful adjustments during the terraforming. Of course, if we don’t try to ‘control’ anything, we don’t use our powers and we don’t have anything to maintain, so we can just exist there without causing any problems other than our passive influence on events.”
“So is it like doing anything at all puts you in the red?”
“No, gods at our rank can shove a lot of the ‘maintaining stuff’ part to the gods with higher ranks, letting us act more freely. …But you know how we created a combat field to fight in earlier? The four of us together only covered about 10km. We’re allowed to go nuts inside there and we’re doing just fine afterwards, but my divine rank is actually at the Region level. Can you see how much the maintenance, buffering, and restraint takes off the top now?”
“The buffering is the worst of it all. You end up paying that where you least expect it.”
“I know what you mean. I’m at the Village class, but I still get a lot taken away from buffering against local gods and spirits.”
They were now just swapping complaints.
I was hardly one to talk, but it felt like we weren’t making any progress. Oh, does that make me clever? Well, I’d better ask about it to show how clever I am.
“Anyway, to keep the conversation moving, what was that historical rank you mentioned before?”
“Oh, that.”
The Druaga guy raised his hand.
“I was originally at the Country level, but the things I do in the myths put me at the Region level. That is your historical rank. You can think of it like a correction made between generations. If you take a 5th generation god like me and a 7th generation god like those Norse ones over there, the historical rank correction would make me twice as powerful even if our original rank was the same.”
“In that previous battle, our ranks were bumped up from Country to Region while the Norse couple had to make up for that x2 difference.”
“I am honestly impressed they managed to win.”
“I see. So what about Miss Karamucho over there? What’s her divine rank?”
“Well,” said Kuwajiri. “She is normally ranked at the Region level, but her mythology correction puts her at the Realm class. She of course has a lot of that taken away by maintaining that realm, but in terms of the pure power difference, no one here is capable of beating her. In a physical fight, we would have to rely on compatibility or on strategic use of our authorities. Those two would be in trouble since they just got done fighting a battle.”
“If you ask us to do it, we’d still win. I’m a war god, so I’ll always fight no matter how outmatched I am and I’ll make sure I find some value in that fight.”
“I know that and I do trust you, but we have a better option here.”
Namely…
“The DC’s mythologies are willing to negotiate in order to preserve their pride. We must take advantage of that. If fighting is necessary, it can come later.”
●
Tenma waited for the divine rank lecture to conclude behind her and then bowed toward Eshtar.
“I do apologize. There is a lot we have yet to reach a consensus on.”
“That’s fine. I don’t mind it much myself. …But what do you mean your overall divine rank is low?”
“I have a document on it right here.”
She displayed the level up status of the Shinto gods on a Revelation Board.
“The gods of the other mythologies start off at a decent level by using their ancestry, but Shinto was not allowed to do that and we must start at a low level.”
“But you can level up quickly using that human, can’t you?”
There it is, thought Tenma. Bilgamesh was right. They do want to take the human for themselves, don’t they?
That told her what Eshtar would argue.
…“Shinto is not making full use of the human.”
So they would take the human from Shinto.
Tenma wanted to test this.
“What do you make of what she’s saying, Tenma-kun?” asked Scarecrow on her Revelation Board.
“I think I will face this head on in order to test her.”
How deep did this go? She threw out some words like throwing a stone into a pond.
“Something unexpected occurred after introducing the human to the terraforming.”
“Oh? And what is that?”
“Well,” she said. “The human dies more easily and more unexpectedly than we ever imagined.”
●
I saw everyone looking at me.
“What!? What’s all this!? Are we starting a new surveillance society!? Or did you finally notice my hidden charm now that I’m a girl!? That must be it! Yomoji-senpai, tell me what makes me so cute!”
“Baaaack when I had a bit of an ego, I got a biiiit salty with a worshiper who kept asking for praise, so I turned them into sallllt.”
“Wow! That is salty! But what’s that got to do with anything!?”
“It is true you tend to die unexpectedly. Now that I think about it.”
“Wait! I’m the dainty heroine! I’m always having to take a seat because I’ve worn myself out! But I also lose my temper a lot! That gap is what makes me so great! So what’s wrong with that!? I get that being dainty means I can die easy, but what’s this unexpectedly nonsense!?”
“Who was it again that ran out into the road and got hit by a dump truck?”
“Wow, what kind of moron did that? You always want to look both ways before crossing the street, right? I mean, if there’s a busty girl waiting for the light next to you, that’s your chance to look over at her chest while still following all the rules! Oh, but if you were standing next to me, Kuwajiri, I might forget to look both ways! Or would you prefer I did!? You would, wouldn’t you!?”
“What am I supposed to do with this idiot?”
“U-um, does this mean I need to make sure I’m standing next to Sumeragi-kun whenever she crosses the street?”
“Ha ha ha. I knew we had gods to protect travelers, but I never knew it worked like that.”
“Omokane-san? You need to stop talking.”
<Come to think of it, if Senpai-san was on the other side of the street, that ape would probably shout something weird and run right into traffic.>
“I do not shout weird things! What if Senpai were to hear me!? That’s why I always shout it outside of the audible range!”
“Are you some kind of monster?”
“Even more concerning is the thought of what happens if Senpai-san is on the opposite platform at the train station.”
“Yeah! Leaping out in front of train sounds like an awful way to die!”
“I was more thinking of the hundreds of thousands of Tokyo residents whose commute would be delayed.”
“Waiiiiiiiiiiit, Kuwajiri! You’re not doing this right! You’ve gotta be clearer about what you mean or I sound like an idiot!”
“…”
“Is it always like this here?”
“I’m so sorry.”
●
Everyone seems to be having fun, thought Tenma while everyone squabbled behind her.
But she had a job to do, so she had said what had to be said.
…The human dies easily.
That meant two things for the gods.
First, it meant humans were weaker when compared to the gods.
Second, it meant that humans were weak creatures in and of themselves.
The former was a simple matter.
While the gods could descend to the real planet during the terraforming, humans would be killed instantly if the environment was not adapted to them the instant they appeared.
Phase compatibilities could make it hard for the gods at times, but they would not be killed instantly. It helped a lot that their very existence was a phase and a mold, so they automatically erected their own field.
They were a lot more physically durable.
Gods were weak at first when their divine rank was at Empty, but once they reached Hidden or above, they rapidly grew stronger.
The existence of a phase was what mattered most. Gods had one and humans did not.
Then there was the latter meaning.
…Humans are weak creatures.
She could tell that much when comparing her life as a god to her life as a human. She would no longer die if she was hit by a dump truck. She might be sent flying, but she would just roll around for a bit and be fine.
The rules were different.
And that comparison said that humans were effectively weaker.
The DC did not understand that fact.
They lacked the experience.
So how would the DC handle this?
●
Tenma heard Eshita speak after placing a hand on her chin and thinking for a moment.
“We already knew humans were weaklings, didn’t we?”
“Yes, but it was worse than expected.”
She had to explain this so the DC would recognize that the weakness of humanity was greater than expected and so she could justify the delays to the terraforming.
“The human has already died and been rolled back twelve times. A simple calculation tells us that twelve times in four months means dying once every ten days. Also, the human loses some of their memories with each rollback. They must be reeducated about the terraforming each time to prepare them.”
“I have a question out of simple curiosity.”
Eshita made it clear this was not an official question.
“Can’t you change the settings there? How about giving them some divine protections so they’re more durable?”
“Then they would exceed the bounds of humanity. The human assisting with the terraforming can be created by the gods, but they cannot exceed the bounds of humanity.”
“What would happen if they did?”
“Any changes at a fundamental level would mean they no longer count as human. At best, they would be considered half-god, half-human.”
●
I noticed Senpai had fallen silent.
No, she had already been silent, but what was this? It was like her presence had shrunk. Her boobs were still as big as ever, but it was like she had a flat-chested presence now. Like she had grown more docile.
“What’s wrong, Senpai?”
“Oh, um, it’s nothing.”
Just as she replied, Mr. Bil raised his hand. He somehow made it look like a solemn act. It was honestly impressive.
“What would happen if divine protections or whatever caused the human to no longer count as human?”
“Temporary buffs from divine protections or authorities count as a blessing given from their god based on their worship. Those are accepted as normal. Otherwise, no human could ever descend to the planet for the terraforming.”
Kuwajiri explained.
“But if the divine protection or authority is more powerful and it permanently changes something about that human, they will have become superior to the rest of the species and will count as a half-god, half-human.”
“That’s what we are. We were given power, so we don’t count as truly human,” said the busty girl. “You can’t do that with every human. There’s no going back after that change, right?”
“Correct,” confirmed Omokane-senpai. “So we have some insurance in place just in case.”
●
“Insurance?”
Tenma nodded at Eshtar’s comment.
“The partner system. Everything is set up so the partner god’s divine protections and authorities will only affect their individual partner and that partner’s actions. Thus, if the partner god does give the human power exceeding the bounds of humanity, it only means the end for the partner. It will not affect the rest of the humans sleeping until the terraforming is complete.”
The human remained normal so far.
And with that explained…
“The human must participate in the terraforming as a mere human. The partner system is being used to ensure they remain in that position while the work is completed, so the current level of progress is in fact according to schedule.”
“Is that so?”
Eshtar smiled in a way that showed no emotion.
And then she spoke.
“But you are in fact behind schedule.”
●
“Listen.” Eshita looked to all of them. “No matter how you try to excuse it, you are behind schedule according to the initial predictions you sent us. I don’t care what your reasons for this pace are.”
So she asked a question.
“Do you have a solution for this problem?”
“Are you suggesting we strengthen our human past the bounds of humanity?”
“Can you do that?”
“We could if we wanted to. We just do not want to.”
The Shinto Representative gave an oddly bright smile.
“Listen. I doubt we will ever decide to do that, but if we did, our terraforming here with the human would effectively be a failure. So…”
Eshita looked to the human behind her.
“Yessssss! I will always be meeeeeee! Wait, what was that!? Some weird expression of adolescence!?”
She ignored her.
That idiot was not who she had to focus on. Omokane was.
Noticing her gaze, Omokane nodded.
“If we ended up failing like that and we received approval from the DC, we would make a new human and redo it all. And if we did not receive approval…well, the entire terraforming project would count as a failure and we would probably have our rights stripped from us. I just want to make sure the other mythologies are aware of that.”
●
Yeah, I thought. What are we even supposed to do?
●
So that’s what they’re doing, thought Eshita while munching on some Karamucho. They’re taking the human hostage.
Terraforming with a human introduced several advantages and problems.
The most direct was the leveling up provided by the human’s worship.
On their own, gods could only train themselves up, but respect from humans could improve them from the outside. That doubled their efficiency and broke through the upper limits.
Eshita was from the 5th generation. Her generation was effectively the top of the currently existing gods, but it was true some of the later generations were catching up. The support of a human would provide an advantage there.
The DC had wanted to run an experiment on a human’s effects using Shinto since they were not strictly part of any generation and had a low divine rank.
And that was what they had done.
But Shinto was taking advantage of that.
“If that human ceases to be human, the introduction of a human will be deemed a failure, huh?”
“Yes, the human’s frequent deaths are one cause for the terraforming delays. But if the human’s partner boosts their power more than necessary, they will cease to be human.”
So…
“We have no intention of doing that. Even if we are technically falling behind schedule, we view it as the unavoidable result of the circumstances.”
The negotiator made her point.
●
Eshita thought using the partner system as insurance was a good idea.
It prevented all of humanity from being made partially divine either by accident or by some mischievous god.
But that allowed Shinto to make another claim.
“So you’re saying you can’t be blamed for the delays because you need to protect the human while terraforming?”
“Yes. Asking us to strengthen the human to speed things up would be mixing up our priorities.”
She was a bold one.
To put that another way…
“The delays to the terraforming schedule are due to the human’s frequent rollbacks. Are you implying this is the human’s responsibility?”
●
Eshita understood where this was headed. She knew what Shinto was trying to say.
“You’re using the human as a shield to protect Shinto’s terraforming, aren’t you?”
She directed the question at Omokane, who did not respond.
She took that as confirmation, so she said more.
“But what if the DC tries to take the human from you?”
“Take them from us? Are you sure you can do that?”
“I’m saying I could challenge you to a duel right here.”
“Not what I meant.” The Shinto Representative waved a hand dismissively. “Remember the partner system? Sumeragi-kouhai’s partner – and thus the target of her worship – is that girl right over there. Taking Sumeragi-kouhai from us will not change the target of her worship. And if you were to try to cancel the partner system…”
“…!?”
“I’d flip out!”
Eshita heard a voice.
“Huh!? Do you wanna know what happens if you try to cut my bonds with Senpai!? I’d go ask some god for a sensory transfer spell and transfer the feeling of using moxibustion in my asshole to your asshole!”
“Are you sure you want to do that? I’m pretty sure that would leave a mark on your asshole.”
“Eh? Um, um?”
“What are you even talking about!?”
●
“I see,” sighed Raidou. “Omokane is really only after one thing here.”
“Is it that Shinto wins in the end no matter what?”
Exactly right.
If it did end in failure, Shinto’s losses would be kept to a minimum.
And the partner system provided insurance for Shinto on top of that.
If need be, she was willing to use Sumeragi as a shield to pull it off.
“So no matter what happens, she’s using the human’s presence like she was given a hostage.”
“So if you change your point of view, this double bind that forces them to sacrifice someone can also be seen as a double bind that protects that someone?”
Raidou was not sure about that.
Could this really be seen as protecting Sumeragi?
“A double bind!? What’s that!? Is it when you do bondage on the top and bottom!? Ahhhn!”
That idiot needs to shut up.
●
“This is the worst thing about Omokane-san.”
Scarecrow was lost in thought.
…Using the human’s presence as insurance for the human is fine, but she feels a need to add more nastiness on top of that.
She used it to protect Shinto.
She used it to guide Shinto to victory.
Because Shinto was so powerless, she would use every means available to them.
Those were all advantages Omokane had planned for by introducing the partner system.
The DC and the other gods had not tested to see what actually happened when a human was introduced to the terraforming, so Shinto had a lot of authority on the subject.
They were the only ones who could determine through direct experience if the experiment had been a success or a failure.
What if?
What if the time came to make that decision?
…No matter what the DC says, we can say quite clearly that it was a failure.
It did not matter if the DC rejected that.
There would be mythologies that opposed the DC and there would be those who used Shinto’s decision as a bargaining chip in negotiations with the DC.
If that happened, Omokane would do everything she could to convince the other mythologies that terraforming with a human was dangerous and an abject failure.
Then the DC could not use the terraforming as an excuse to claim the human for themselves.
Omokane was currently threatening to do just that.
She had also used the partner system to fix Sumeragi’s worship on a specific god.
The DC could try to remove that worship, but it was unlikely to go well. After all…
“Sumeragi-kun is a serious worshiper of Senpai-san.”
She felt like maybe she should not smile while saying that.
But all of this was unfair to Sumeragi.
“Our strategy here is to proclaim we are throwing out the human while also protecting both the Shinto terraforming and the human.”
She had to wonder why they were doing something so risky, but that was just how Omokane was.
Was it possible Omokane was actually an evil god?
●
Now, this is evil, thought Eshita in awe. They’re trying to bind us with our own words.
The trick here was to restrict the DC with the DC’s own demands.
If they demanded that Shinto hand over the human, Omokane would claim that using the human was a failure and thus humans had to be eliminated from all future terraforming work.
But Eshita had a question about that.
So she asked about it.
“One question,” she began. “If things go south for you, you plan on declaring the human a failure in order to protect everything for yourself, right?”
“No, not at all.”
She really was a bold one.
But Eshita decided to ask further.
“Let’s see if I have this right.”
●
Eshita chose to restate things, including the concessions that had been made.
“The delays to the Shinto terraforming were due to protecting the human, right?”
She would accept that reason.
Otherwise, they would use the human as a shield.
The DC only wanted the human, so it was best not to make any choices that would harm the human.
So she made a concession there.
The delays to the Shinto terraforming was not enough reason to take the human from them.
But, she thought.
“There is one thing I must ask you.”
“What is that?”
Oh, this was a simple matter.
“You said the partner system is a safety measure to avoid turning all the humans into half-gods, right? But that’s the thing.”
She asked her question.
“That goddess there has a really low divine rank, so I doubt it’s even possible for her spells or divine protections to permanently strengthen that human beyond the bounds of humanity.”
“Eh? Um, uh.”
“Well? Am I right?”
“Hey! Mucho! Don’t bully Senpai! You think I’m letting you get away with that!? Okay, Raidou-senpai! Go get her!”
“While that is my role here, try to think more politically.”
“Who are you calling Mucho!?”
“Calm down,” said the human’s partner goddess. “It is true I do not have that kind of power at the moment.”
“A good response.”
She implied things would change in that regard.
Nothing could sound more wonderful coming from the one and only god with a human worshiper.
Eshita had been like that in her memories of her nonexistent life in the Earth Age.
But that line also established something.
“Answer me this.”
She asked a question.
“That partner god cannot strengthen the human very much at the moment, so why do you claim the partner system functions as a safety measure?”
“Why do you think?”
That was not an answer, but she was pretty sure she knew the answer already.
“That goddess has some kind of divine protection or authority that could affect all of humanity, doesn’t she?”
●
She had to check on this.
If it was true, then this was a double hostage situation.
“The rollbacks are to blame for the delayed schedule and the partner god’s power could affect all of humanity. …You are not making these negotiations easy for me.”
“What is so difficult about this?”
“If we try to take the human from you over the delays or any other reason, the partner god’s power could activate and render all the humans unusable. It’s like negotiating while holding a bomb.”
“Indeed, indeed,” said Omokane while gesturing toward the goddess who Eshita had considered recruiting as a Karamucho goddess. “Do you want to know what her power is?”
“I would. So what is it? Is she really that powerful a god?”
“Yes.” Omokane nodded. “As you have guessed, her power can affect all of humanity.”
And…
“The partner system only limits her divine protections and authority in regards to humanity. Those things can still reach us gods. Otherwise, she could not protect herself if another god attacked her and she could not receive support from other gods either.”
That meant her authority could affect Eshita.
After making that point clear, the Shinto Representative spoke with a smile.
“If she is serious about it, then it does not matter who her opponent is. It could be me, you, anyone else on the DC, or even a 0th generation god. That is just who she is.”
●
This whole topic was not fun for me, but Sumeragi-kun turned toward me with a light in her eyes.
“Senpai!? Do you have the authority to make all of humanity busty!? If so, can you make me busty so I can simulate feeling your boobs!?”
“Eh? Eh?”
Shifu-san was standing behind Sumeragi-kun, so she slapped her on the cheek.
●
Eshita saw the human roll about 70m along the ground and then run back over with a huge grin.
“Yahoo! Standing between two busty goddesses and getting slapped from behind is the best! This makes the whole life thing worth it!”
What was she even talking about?
But regardless, this was dangerous.
“I’m going to keep this simple since I’m getting fed up with it all, but what if I said Shinto’s methods were unacceptable?”
“Yes, I can see that you feel that way. But as long as it remains a warning, we will still have permission to continue. So I must determine what exactly you mean when you say this is ‘unacceptable’.”
Simply put…
“We will use a Japanese negotiating method since Japan is the homeland of Shinto. How ‘regrettable’ do you find this turn of events? That is the fastest way to confirm the seriousness of your statement and for us to find a compromise.”
Eshita nodded at that.
…I said I wanted to keep this simple, so why is she making this way more complicated!?
This was part of her strategy.
This younger girl was acting as the actual negotiator, but this must have been set up before the negotiations even began.
She was discussing the supplementary topics to see how much she could steer this in Shinto’s favor.
That meant “negotiating” with her was meaningless. It would only wear away Eshita’s own footing.
So she knew what to say.
“Then let’s establish some common ground here.”
“What might that be?”
“The terraforming has been delayed, hasn’t it?”
“It has.”
She accepted that much. That settled it.
“I’m sure you have your excuses, but you had our trust when you began terraforming, didn’t you? First, you must take responsibility for breaking that trust.”
●
“She’s shifting the blame again,” said Scarecrow in her own library.
The Shinto strategy was the one Omokane had thought up: ensuring that Shinto won in the end.
So whenever they ran into trouble, they had to arm themselves with arguments that would leave Shinto blameless.
They would place responsibility on someone other than Shinto and negotiate from that perspective. However…
“She is treating the issue of responsibility as separate from our excuses.”
Shinto was not at fault.
It had been an unpredictable accident.
But their failure nevertheless remained.
Eshtar’s voice arrived via divine transmission.
“Shouldn’t a businessperson predict what could happen and submit a schedule that accounts for the worst case scenario? Even if that means they submit a slower initial schedule than the others?”
And…
“You failed to contact us when you ran into these delays. …Although I will admit contacting us would have led to an inspector like me being sent out immediately. But that was a bad move. This means you knew about the delays yet you failed to report them.”
“And what, pray tell, is wrong with that?
She knew the answer. It was very simple.
“That qualifies as a breach of trust with the DC. Shinto has committed a serious betrayal against the other mythologies, so I simply cannot overlook it.”
●
There it is, thought Shifu.
Eshita had turned it around.
“She’s not even talking about Sumeragi-chan anymore.”
“Yeah. We figured they wanted the human’s worship and that’s why we used Sumeragi as an excuse and a threat, but she’s narrowed her focus down to the issue of Shinto’s responsibility.”
“So she is focusing on Shinto’s behavior instead of whether or not humans should be used in the terraforming?”
Exactly. But how will this play out? wondered Shifu just as Sumeragi-chan stood up next to her.
“Eh!? What!? The world no longer revolves around me and everyone’s ignoring me!? Not on my watch! Tell them to pay more attention to me! Kupaaaaaa!”
The background noise was getting irritating, so Shifu tugged on her skirt to get her to sit back down.
Anyway, Shifu knew this was going to be a pain.
“She is ignoring our explanations and excuses and instead focusing on our responsibility and failure to report. Unfortunately, that is something we cannot deny.”
“Th-then what do we do?”
“Apologize, I guess.”
●
“I mean,” said Shifu. “We did something wrong. If they can define it as a breach of trust, then it means they were the ones harmed, not us.”
“Wait, when did you harm them?”
“By betraying their trust. You could say it harmed their reputation.”
En-chan seemed to get that, so she must have initially interpreted it more literally since that was the way her mythology tended to do it.
“Well, let them cry about being a victim all they want. They’re not actually wrong, after all.”
“The DC seems to be having a tough time of it too.”
“They are. Now, it might seem like they have us dead to rights, but we still have some wiggle room here.”
“Wiggle room?”
Kuwajiri-chan nodded at that. The summer night and the intensity of the meeting must have gotten to her because she wiped some sweat from her brow.
“Yes. We do still have some wiggle room here. Because even if Shinto does apologize, the DC cannot say what it is they want from them.”
●
Kuwajiri could tell the negotiation was approaching a conclusion.
…Both sides are searching for a way to end it.
The tension of the exchange was making her sweat. Or maybe it was the heat of the summer night.
Whatever the reason, she took a sip of the orange Fanta she had set down next to her.
“If the DC directly demands Shinto hand over the human, Shinto could go to the other mythologies saying the DC is abusing their power.”
“Because the DC was using the human as a bargaining chip?”
Exactly. That would be the best way to get the other mythologies riled up.
“We could justify our actions by claiming that the gods are meant to protect humans.”
Then what would they do?
“So we know the DC won’t ask for Sumeragi-chan, but will they have Shinto come up with the apology method and try to guide Shinto into handing over Sumeragi-chan themselves?”
That sounded like trouble.
“If Shinto fails to apologize here or tries to shift blame elsewhere to dodge responsibility, then the DC can go to the other nations claiming to be the victim.”
“Something like, ‘Shinto isn’t doing their job and they won’t even apologize!’ perhaps?”
“Wow.” Senpai-san opened her mouth in a troubled way. “I’m having a hard time deciding whether we or the DC are worse here.”
“That just means we are evenly matched. So we need to focus on what factors remain that could tip the scales.”
“Whether or not Shinto apologizes. And if they do, how they do it.”
Kuwajiri nodded at Raidou’s answer.
“If Shinto can dodge the responsibility issue while not having to actually hand over the human, then the DC loses any means to attack them. Shinto is from Japan and no one loves apologizing more than Japan, so this should all come down to how they pull off that offensive form of defense.”’
●
“Now,” said Eshita. “How will Shinto apologize for breaching the DC’s trust?”
Interlude[edit]
“I love having Sugawara around to apologize for me. It makes things so much easier.”
“It isn’t supposed to be easy!”
Chapter 30: Blockout 02[edit]
Whoever makes the claim first wins.
●
Shifu heard Omokane groan.
“We try to shove all the blame onto you, but you send it right back at us since we were supposed to be supervising, huh?”
“It’s like a counterattack doing more damage for everything we had built up against them.”
“Yes, a real ‘too clever for our own good’ moment!”
“You have guts to say that at this stage.”
“But what are we going to do about it?”
Omokane groaned again and nodded with an oddly refreshed smile on her face.
“I may be too clever, but Sugawara-kouhai is exactly the right amount of clever. It’s high time we saw just how skilled a negotiator she is.”
●
Tenma considered how to view the concept of “apology” here.
…They want us to apologize.
That word was nothing but a nuisance.
During her mortal life, she had caused some political trouble and been the target of some political trouble behind the scenes and she was eventually demoted for it. She had been sent to as remote a region as they could think of back then, so her enemies had been absolutely ecstatic. However…
…My apologies fell on deaf ears.
The experience had definitely left its mark on her, so most of the poetry she wrote during her mortal life had been gripes about being demoted and pleas to her boss, the emperor.
She now wished she had written something more cheerful, but that poetry was how she had ended up being known as a vengeful god, so you never knew what twists and turns life would throw at you. Back then, she certainly had not expected to end up as a girl like this. But why would she have?
Regardless, she considered the topic at hand.
“You want us to apologize?”
She knew what that meant.
“Are you sure that’s all you want?”
“That’s all?”
She caught on fast. That was her weapon after all.
So Tenma came out and said it.
“If we hurt you, or your group’s feelings and displeased you in that way, then I voluntarily apologize for that. I too have feelings and understand what that is like.”
But she had more to say.
“But apologizing does not actually fix anything. If bowing your head could recover a physical loss or a waste of your time, apologies would be a miracle surpassing even the acts of the gods. But apologies cannot do that. So if no rules have been established regarding apologies, they will only make up for hurt feelings.”
However…
“Let us refer back to your question: How will Shinto apologize for breaching the DC’s trust?”
●
“That was a surprisingly good impression of her voice.”
“Wasn’t it? Wasn’t it!?”
“Why do you sound so proud, Yatsui!?”
“Hey, I feel kind of proud when Kuwajiri-chan does a good job.”
“I will do what I can.”
“I’m soooo jealous. One of myyyy people kept getting into trouble, so I had to send caaaast him down into the deeeepths.”
“You need to stop doing stuff like that.”
“Hey, hey, hey. Aaaanyone would get pissed when someone blasts a truuuumpet in your ear while you’re trying to sleeeep.”
●
Tenma was glad she had that statement on the record.
“I am most grateful that you will overlook a breach of trust with nothing more than an apology, which would normally only resolve an emotional issue.”
She doffed her hat and bowed.
“I am dreadfully sorry about our mistake. I will let my superiors know you were so kind to us.”
She faced forward to find Eshtar viewing her with a bag of Wasabeef in hand.
The bag was still closed, so she opened it for her.
“Here.”
“Thanks.”
“Now, I believe we are done here for today. Take care on your way home.”
“Sure, sure…wait, no! We’re not done here!! Hold it!!”
●
“She’s surprisingly friendly, isn’t she?”
“We really are very sorry.”
●
Eshita punctuated her response with a sigh.
…Neat, my breath is spicy!
That was pretty cool. It made her not want to brush her teeth. But on the other hand…
“Do you really think that qualifies as an apology?”
“That was a fairly high level apology by Shinto and Japanese standards. Are you saying even that was insufficient?”
“High level? That?”
“Yes,” she replied. “The lowest level starts at something like ‘Oh, hey. My bad.’, the low level is a simple verbal apology, the mid-level specifies what it is you are apologizing for and includes a written letter of apology, the high level includes a bow as a physical sign of apology, and the highest level is a prostration. The prostration in particular has a spiritual effect that allows it to work with any target.”
“You’re pulling my leg with some of that, right?”
“I am not.”
“The prostration in particular works against gods too thanks to the manifestation system, meaning they can actually influence the workings of this world.”
“A prostration can?”
“I can demonstrate for you if you like, but you will regret it.”
“Wait, stop!”
This girl could always be a suicide bomber, so it was best not to provoke her. Eshita also heard some comments from the peanut gallery.
“Tch. Why’d she have to say no? We totally would’ve won then.”
“Indeed we would have, Sumeragi-kouhai. She must have realized any provocation would have guided us to victory.”
Oh, man. Does this mean I’m actually clever?
Also, this Wasabeef stuff is so good. The other spices were a tingling kind of spicy, but this is more of a piercing spicy. It came as a shock at first, but now it’s kinda fun and I can taste a hint of sweetness behind it, like a little treat. I’m totally buying some of this before heading back.
But she had a problem to solve before that.
“Did you think you could weasel out of this with some cheap wordplay?”
Oh, I know what I can do.
“I will forgive your breach of trust based on that apology.”
“Thank you very much.”
“Hey, it’s nothing.”
She smiled before continuing.
“Now give me the results.”
●
“I will forgive the breach our trust. That is a simple act. But the result of that act is a separate matter. In mathematical terms, the act is the expression and the result is the solution. I will forgive you for using the wrong expression, but you still need to give us the solution.”
So answer us.
“If you want us to overlook your expression, you must have the solution for us, right? So where is it? Hand it over. Spell it out for me.”
Well?
“You never said you couldn’t produce the results, so this must be a good deal for you. I mean, we all heard what you said: I am most grateful that you will overlook a breach of trust with nothing more than an apology, which would normally only resolve an emotional issue.”
Now.
“I’ll forgive the breach of trust, so give us our results.”
●
“That impression was so bad I would never have guessed who it was if I didn’t already know.”
“She called that wordplay ‘cheap’, yet now she’s doing it herself.”
“I am sorry. So sorry.”
“I don’t really think you need to apologize for this, Bilgamesh.”
“I am so, so sorry.”
“This is why people start calling you Apology Man, Bil.”
“It must suck to have a weird boss.”
“Omokane-san, you’re just fishing for reactions from Kubiko-san at this point, aren’t you?”
“Sorry, I already wrote out a rather lengthy message.”
●
Tenma began by raising her hand.
“We have shown you results.”
“You have, have you?”
“Yes.” She chose her words carefully in order to test her opponent. “We confirmed the existence of a 0th Generation mythology for this star system and discovered what that mythology is.”
“–––––”
She must have known about that. Since Balancer was involved, that neutral AI would have given the information elsewhere as well. However…
“We have Shinto and the human to thank for that result. And while things have been considerably delayed, we have that series of events to thank for this result. Shinto recommends we extend the current schedule since things are playing out as desired.”
Because…
“If we continue on this schedule, there are definite odds of achieving further results of this nature, but using other methods might have no odds of that. I think these observation results are worth gambling on, but…”
“But what?”
“But it took us 4 months to achieve these results. Let’s say you in the DC took the human for yourself. How long would it take you to achieve results on this same level? 4 months? Now, Shinto exists outside of the generational numbering, but if we were placed inside it, your 5th generation is more than twice as advanced as us. So 2 months? No, I doubt it would take the great DC that long.”
She asked a question.
“If you did have the human at your disposal, are you confident the DC could produce similar results in less than a month?”
●
“It all comes down to this,” muttered Omokane.
She was confident of that.
…Now, how will Sugawara-kouhai finish this off?
The knowledge god nodded to agree with her expectations here.
“That is true. The star system’s 0th Generation mythology is definitely something we could not have achieved without Sumeragi. And the DC is wary of yet badly wants the ability to create new mythologies like that. But if the DC intends to criticize our results and take her from us, they must first prove that they could achieve the same or superior results in less time. Otherwise, they would be seizing her for purely selfish reasons.”
That was exactly right. But…
“Is it even possible to get Sumeragi-kun to produce further results in less than a month?”
“One problem is we don’t know what those ‘further results’ would be. And there are a few other problems too.”
She counted them off on her fingers as she thought them up.
“First, would Sumeragi-kouhai obey them?
“Second, Sumeragi-kouhai will die again and need to be rolled back.
“Third, what other results could they get from her next?”
They would have to solve all of those and produce some results in less than a month.
“That is no small feat, 5th Generation.”
She spoke loud enough to be overheard and received a convenient response from one of her own people.
“No, it isn’t.”
Good, way to play it up. The natural tone makes it work even better.
Sugawara nodded too.
“So how about it, DC? Can you produce results within a month after taking the human from us?”
●
“That’s just not possible.”
“Right? I mean, the DC has never done it before, so they can’t just come out and say they definitely can do it.”
“Exactly. But what do you think, Kuwajiri-kouhai?”
“I agree it isn’t possible. But…”
“But?”
“This is all about politics, so I already know what their answer is going to be.”
●
Good question, thought Eshita.
The DC, the 5th Generation, and the Mesopotamian gods had never done anything like that before.
There was no way they could pull it off in less than a month.
So her answer was obvious.
“Of course we can. Less than a month? We can do that easy.”
●
“Eh!? Um…ehhhh!?”
I knew I was overly flustered, but it really did make no sense to me. I mean…
“I thought that wasn’t possible. I thought they couldn’t say they could do it.”
“Douhai-kun.”
Oh, right. We’re in the same year, so she can’t call me Senpai-kun. And why can I analyze that part so rationally?
“What they want first and foremost is Sumeragi-kouhai. Once they have her, they aren’t returning her. We could demand it, but they just have to find a way to weasel out of it. Hence, they can say whatever they want here.”
“But! But how is that fair!?”
“That’s politics for you, Senpai-san.”
Kuwajiri continued without turning my way.
“Truth and logic are irrelevant. They only want results, but they need that idiot – that is, Sumeragi – for that. So they are willing to accept and push through any condition we place on them to get her. They can either figure out a way to pull it off later or come up with an excuse.”
“That’s right,” said Eshita. “If we can’t achieve results with the human, we just have to say ‘something unexpected’ occurred. You said that earlier, Shinto, so you can’t tell us we can’t say the same thing.”
She reached for a new bag of Karamucho as she spoke.
“The DC, and especially us Mesopotamian gods, have a lot of pride and reputation to live up to. You lowly Shinto gods could never understand.”
So…
“We will be taking the human and the right to create new myths. Also…yes, if we can establish the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation mythologies for each planet in this star system, we will accept that as suitable results.”
●
“Also,” said Eshita. “When you hand over the human, we will forbid the use of her partner god’s authority in a way that would allow her to grow beyond the limits of humanity. We cannot have anyone forbidding our use of the human because using her could affect humanity in some way.”
“How convenient for you. But do you really think we will give you all that for nothing in return?”
…Here it comes.
They were talking on her terms now.
They were accepting her suggested restrictions as part of a possible deal. She had hoped to guide them in that direction, so this was convenient.
So she began to think, but she also began speaking since she knew she was right about this.
“In return, we will accept Bilgamesh’s defection. Enkidu, on the other hand, must first complete the recreation of her myth.”
She raised her hand and a spear glowing with a horribly dark light appeared in it.
“This is the spear of the underworld. Are you prepared to die?”
●
Ki realized what Eshtar was really after here.
…So that’s it.
Had some decision been made behind the scenes? She belatedly realized the true meaning behind these political dealings.
She thought about what it meant for Eshtar to be here, but…
…Yeah.
She faced forward to view the wild goddess who was munching on snacks.
“Since we have not officially defected yet, our contract with the DC prevents us from discussing this, Eshtar.”
But that settled it.
“I accept that death, Eshtar.”
“Kidou-san!?”
“Holllllllllllllllllllllld up, Overdressed Mucho! You’re planning on penetrating Busty Girl here with your spear!? What kinda euphemism is that!? And do you have any idea what it would mean for the world to lose a girl as busty as that!? You’re only somewhat busty, so you wouldn’t understand, would you!? Well!? Mad you don’t understand!? I’m not mad, cause I do understand! Oh, and now the fury of my boobs worship has come full circle! Which is to say, you won’t get away with this!”
“Euphemism!? What it would mean for the world!? What the hell are you on about!?”
That may have been the most sensible thing Eshtar had said all day. But…
“I am so sorry, everyone.”
Bil held a hand out to the side, telling the others to stay put. And…
“Do not interfere in Ki’s case here. I will explain why later. For now…can we continue the discussion of that human?”
“Oh?”
Eshtar turned to Ki and smiled bitterly. She was definitely looking that way and she even nodded.
That settled it.
Ki was right about what was going on here. So…
“Can we get back on topic now?”
●
In Shinto, words influenced the world.
Eshtar thought that was the most beautiful part of Shinto.
Since humanity had been given language by the gods, they could use words to access the gods. Because they were divine words.
But in Shinto, words were not just connected to the gods; they were connected to the world as well.
Words themselves had something like a spirit, creating what Shinto referred to as Kotodama.
People could use those rules to approach the gods and the world itself through the medium of words.
The Mesopotamian gods had been friendly with the people, but there had still been a distance between them. Also…
…I like how the gods and the people are both only a part of the world.
That sounded like such a carefree existence to her since the Mesopotamian gods were both residents and rulers of the natural world.
Since all the world’s rules came from them, they were also responsible for everything.
That was the natural result when they could not rely on the people for anything.
But in Shinto, the people could influence the world through the words given to them.
It had to be so much easier on the gods to leave all the inconvenient nonsense to the “world” which included the humans.
She envied those later mythologies for that.
The people who created the mythologies already understood what they could do for themselves, so they looked to the gods for much less.
That was probably why the gods of later mythologies had specialized powers instead of taking on multiple jobs and authorities.
…On the other hand, this pressure is the best part of being an earlier generation god.
Maybe that made them arrogant, but that was just who they were.
So she knew exactly what to say to these newcomers from a later mythology.
“You want to continue this conversation? Then continue.”
Your Kotodama can influence the world, but we are the world itself, so just try and influence us.
Shinto is supposed to be the “path leading to the gods”, so use the power of your words to speak to us gods.
●
Tenma knew it all came down to this.
…I already had her forgive our mistake thanks to my apology.
Then she had pointed to the creation of a 0th Generation mythology for their results.
And she had guided them to this point.
She had lured the other god in by saying they would have to produce results even faster than Shinto if they wanted the human.
Eshita had fallen for it. Or more accurately, she had accepted the challenge.
And then.
And then she had grown more aggressive.
She had worked toward acquiring that human for the DC.
She was willing to do whatever it took. Acquiring the human was her top political priority.
…And she didn’t stop there. She is using everything at her disposal.
Then she had banned the use of the partner god’s power in a way that would render the human unusable as a human.
That was meant to limit their options.
It was a further attack.
And…
“Now you are using the defectors as bargaining chips.”
●
“That’s right,” said Omokane, regarding Sugawara’s comment. “Eshtar said they would accept the defector’s defection to counteract our results with the human.”
“How is that supposed to work as a deal?”
“A major 5th Generation god like Bilgamesh will strengthen the Shinto forces considerably. Whether or not that allows us to continue terraforming, we could give him a double divinity with one of our more physical gods as a show of force against the other mythologies.”
However…
“But that would mean giving them Sumeragi-kun.”
“Was it a mistake to challenge them to produce results with Sumeragi-chan?”
It did look that way at the moment.
Luring Eshtar in like that might turn out to have been a bad idea.
The challenge had forced Eshtar to take this seriously.
So what were they going to do?
Would they accept those terms, or reject them?
If they were going to accept, they only had to accept.
But if they were going to reject, they had to explain why.
“Sugawara-kouhai.”
“Understood.”
That underclassman knowledge god took a deep breath.
●
Tenma spoke.
“I will make the decision.”
She had to make a decision.
So she did.
First, she took a certain action.
“Auth Spell: Divinely Ordained Constellation.”
●
“Eh?”
Something appeared just as I questioned Tenma-san’s words.
“A library?”
It first appeared by her hands.
Revelation Boards opened by her hands, those began to eject pages on a myriad of topics, and more and more continued to appear there.
“–––––––”
Once that massive amount of information was joined together like that, she began to read it.
The information took the form of a book.
Within all that movement, she recited some kind of poem.
The stars of the divine
Follow paths and reside in constellations
But do they have their own thoughts as they float in the inky black
“Divinely Ordained Constellation.”
She repeated the name and unfathomably long bookcases appeared in a half-circle behind her. They were made of ether, countless books were automatically pulled from their shelves, their pages loosened, and the bamboo writing strips came apart.
“Come to me.”
She spoke to the written characters. Whether in books, on bamboo writing strips, on stone tablets, in cloth scrolls, or whatever other medium, the chosen ether writing flowed out and approached her like a torrential river.
It was all drawn in toward the stack of Revelation Boards she held in her hand.
“–––––––”
When she waved the Revelation Boards like a fan, the bookcases vanished and she held a single book in her hand.
●
“Um, what was that?”
“I know! That was Master of the Akashic Book, wasn’t it!? I remember writing that down in my dream journal a week ago when I dreamed about having that power!”
“Ow, the cringe.”
I looked around for someone to provide the actual answer and our superior crossed her arms and nodded.
“Sugawara-kouhai’s Divinely Ordained Constellation uses historical precedent and an experience-based AI to search through all of her knowledge and provide several possible solutions to the problem at hand. So the more knowledge she accumulates, the more accurate and versatile that guidance will be.”
“Ahhh! I was so close to being right!”
“Better luck next time, Sumeragi-kun.”
“Okay! I’ll do what I can!”
“Can we please focus on the negotiations!?”
●
To Kuwajiri, Sugawara was a knowledge god one rank below her own level. She knew she could not let Sugawara get ahead of her, but she was also seriously considering creating a similar Auth Spell for support in the future. However…
…I would have a hard time escaping this situation.
They were up against a 5th Generation god.
Of course, negotiations came down to negotiating skill and knowledge. Even if the generational difference created a historical gap in knowledge, this would come down to how well they understood the current situation. In that sense an Auth Spell that provided immediate support would be effective when you absolutely had to win no matter what.
Before long, Sugawara shut her book.
She had decided what to say, so she faced the 5th Generation goddess in front of her.
“Eshtar.”
She called out to her first.
“Shinto will accept you here as an inspector.”
That was a compromise.
“We will allow you to work as our manager.”
That sounded like a complete capitulation.
●
Eshita stopped eating Karamucho when she heard her negotiating partner say they would allow her to work as their manager.
“What do you mean by that?”
She was confused.
This discussion had honestly included a lot of what she could only call petty bickering. But…
“Why would you accept my authority now?”
“That is simple enough.”
Light scattered from the other girl’s hand.
She had held a large book providing an answer derived from her knowledge and the historical precedent contained therein, but it now vanished as ether light, as if to say its role was complete.
“Because that is what you want. Or am I wrong?”
●
“I don’t understand this. Why in the world would I want to be your manager?”
Kuwajiri realized something from that line.
“Oh.”
Her voice gathered Raidou and Shifu’s attention.
“You’re up, Miss Knowledge.”
“Could you explain this one for us?”
When her superiors asked for it, she couldn’t refuse. She had to preface it with “most likely”, but…
“This is all based on the assumption that both sides need a compromise.”
“Why a compromise?”
<Because without one, this would lead to the worst case scenario.>
“What is the worst case scenario here?”
“Well,” cut in Kuwajiri. “That would be Sumeragi. She would become a dangerous presence that could easily lead to the worst case scenario.”
The idiot looked back, but she was harmless for the time being.
“Sumeragi will become dangerous if Shinto hands her over to the DC. That would lead to the worst case scenario.”
“Hold up! I worship Senpai, so I’m not going anywhere else!”
“The thing is, just like Bilgamesh can defect to the Shinto side, Senpai-san could join the Mesopotamian gods and continue to be your god there.”
“For real!?”
A hand shot up. It belonged to Shamhat who had held her tongue thus far. She nodded at what Kuwajiri had said, and then…
“To be blunt, that would mean making Senpai-san there a temple prostitute like me, just one dedicated to that human. That would be the best option for the two of you.”
“Eh? Eh? Eh?”
“Wait! Senpai is making a class change to be my personal sex god!? What kinda porn game is this!? Is it for the 88!?”
“They’ve been releasing more of those for the 98 recently, haven’t they?”
Senpai, please don’t get her further off topic.
“Whatever the exact method, it is a convenient system for controlling Sumeragi over there. However, that would require changing all of Senpai-san’s settings. I do not know what her authority is, but some of you have hinted it could be dangerous for that human. To eliminate that risk, she would have to first be removed from the list of Shinto gods to remove her authorities and such. Then she could be re-manifested as a new god in Mesopotamia.”
What would happen then?
“Sumeragi would temporarily be without a god.”
And what would that mean?
“Sumeragi would become a threat to all of the gods during that time. Because she would be free to create any myths she liked.”
●
“Yes, that is exactly the issue.”
No doubts or guesses were needed here. Omokane viewed this as a perfectly predictable fact.
“If Sumeragi-kouhai so much as looks up into the starry sky, she could easily create a 0th Generation mythology none of us could have ever even considered. After all, everyone but her is a god right now, so her thoughts about someone might provide that god with a new myth.”
And…
“Eshtar-kun.”
“What do you want?”
“You should have a decent grasp of my personality by now, so let me ask you this: Do you really think I would let you have Sumeragi-kouhai without doing anything in response?”
“Of course not. I know exactly what you would tell that human: Sumeragi-kouhai, once your partner is gone, start thinking about that star system mythology you came up with before.”
That sounds nothing like me. You should really stop trying to do impressions of people. Not that it matters.
Now, Omokane knew exactly what expression was on her face right now, but…
“I am perfectly fine with removing Sumeragi-kouhai’s partner if that is what you want.”
“You know that would count as another breach of trust, don’t you?”
“You’ll forgive us if we apologize, so why should I care?”
She smiled and raised a hand toward Eshtar.
“I do apologize. I might breach your trust if you do this, but don’t let that stop you.”
She also opened a Revelation Board.
It played back the footage Balancer had provided of this star system’s history and she handed it to Sumeragi.
“Store this on your Revelation Board. It will guard you like a protective charm if things go south, Sumeragi-kouhai.”
Now.
“Eshtar, what will you do?”
Eshtar responded swiftly by standing up.
●
Eshtar did not use the spear of death she held.
She simply stood up and tried to protest, but Omokane spoke up before she could.
“Now, now. Don’t push yourself too hard!”
As soon as those words reached her, she found her own actions lacking.
She had tried to step forward and speak, but…
“Eh?”
She grew unsteady and fell back onto her butt.
●
Eshita had no idea what had happened.
She only knew her hands and knees were trembling and weak.
“Ugh.”
Her throat felt horribly dry. What was this? Had an authority hit her with some kind of disease? But she doubted any of the gods here could do that.
“Wh-what did you do!?”
“It is honestly impressive that you are still conscious and capable of speaking. I suppose that’s the 5th Generation for you.”
Omokane spread her arms as if to indicate the entire summer night.
“You are dehydrated. You might be from the Middle East, but you let your guard down, didn’t you? Real manifestations are a scary thing.”
●
A figure sank down in the library.
“Sigh. She actually did it.”
Omokane had set her up, but it was Scarecrow who had made the arrangements.
She still remembered when Omokane had initially explained it to her:
“Make it a convenience store parking lot. Somewhere blocked by walls and roofs would be best. And somewhere with the large air conditioning unit located next to the store, not on the roof.”
A search of Shinto land had found the perfect location.
The rest had been simple. She had only had to contact some of the Shinto gods there.
“We made sure Eshtar-kun was exposed to all that heat but we didn’t give her any drinks after the initial one. Instead, we gave her plenty of super-spicy snacks that got her sweating. I also told Sugawara-kouhai to drag out the negotiations as long as possible. I had no idea how much endurance heavily-dressed Eshtar-kun would have in her real manifestation, but I had hoped it would at least keep her from focusing on the negotiations. I honestly did not expect it to knock her out with dehydration.”
Was that really something to sound so proud of?
●
But, thought Scarecrow.
…I feel kind of bad doing this to Eshtar.
With a virtual manifestation, a god existed as a data entity, so they barely needed to eat and drink. They existed as ether and they lived in a virtual world full of ether, so it was like living within the very nutrients they needed.
But a real manifestation was a different story. They were still a data entity, but one designed to match “reality”, a world formed from the bare minimum of laws.
They had to eat if they were to maintain themselves.
Of course, they had their durability and divine protections as a god, so they could draw on their power and cool themselves down if they overheated.
But they still had to resupply whatever they had consumed.
Also, the circulatory system was a critical factor for their real manifestation bodies.
If they lost bodily fluids, parts of their body would cease to function. They would not actually die thanks to their divine protections, but they did not have any divine protections or Auth Spells to replace those lost fluids. At best, there were ways of moving an unconscious body, like those found in Voodoo.
Their nutrients were not automatically acquired like they were in the virtual world.
That was why the gods ate so much.
But they only learned to do so after living in this world for a while.
Eshtar had not done that yet.
Omokane’s dirtiest trick was giving her just the one ginger ale at the beginning.
“Ginger ale makes you sweat.”
And that effect was greater if you drank something to begin with than if you drank nothing at all.
The fact that you had had something to drink would reduce the body’s caution regarding dehydration.
Also, Eshtar was a Middle Eastern god. The temperature there was high, but the humidity was low, meaning you would not sweat all that much. That was also why it grew so chilly at night.
But this was Japan.
The temperature remained high during the summer nights and the humidity was high.
Plus, those sweltering nights had rapidly grown more common during the 80s and 90s.
“Eshtar and her heavy clothing could not have been a worse match for a Japanese summer.”
●
Tenma looked to her cruel boss.
First of all, Eshtar had fallen onto her butt and could not move.
“C-curse you! You coward! You set me up because I’m not familiar with the local climate!”
Second of all, Omokane crouched down in front of her and gulped down a bottle of water.
“Ahhhhhhhhhh! Precious water! It’s soooo good! And it’s natural water at that! Truly delicious! I might just buy a dozen bottles to bring home with me!”
“You are the worst.”
Tenma apologized in her heart, but she had assisted in setting this up.
And it had worked even better than they had expected.
Her boss had a huge smile of satisfaction on her face.
“Okay, what should we do now, Eshtar-kun!? I am so glad to see we are finally in a position to talk this out as equals!”
“Kh! You coward!”
“A coward? Me!? But giving a powerful foe exactly what they want to lower their guard is a traditional Shinto tactic seen in as major a story as the slaying of Yamata. This means you were outplayed by Shinto, not me.”
She placed a new water bottle on the ground next to her.
“Now, let’s work out a mutual compromise.”
Interlude[edit]
“She’s evil.”
“Does that make us the servants of evil?”
Chapter 31: Death Bringer[edit]
Your delivery of disaster is here
●
“Join us in compromise, Eshita-kun. We will both destroy ourselves as things are, so let’s compromise.”
Tenma watched Omokane speaking.
“We want to continue the terraforming and we have no intention of letting Sumeragi-kouhai go. And we want to ensure the safety of Shinto as a whole while we are at it. So if we are invaded, we will resist to the best of our ability. We will make whatever arrangements are necessary to accomplish that. Such as…”
“Such as have the human create mythologies as a form of terrorism?”
“Exactly. We are not a powerful mythology, but we will use everything at our disposal to protect our rights. I am prepared to say that as many times as it takes.”
And…
“You should understand that you won’t gain anything if you simply do what the DC wants.”
Yes. That was true enough.
“If that human is allowed to create mythologies as she pleases, the rest of the gods will question the DC’s management skills. Then someone would appear to support us, beginning a conflict between the DC and a new force that includes Shinto, who you harmed.”
“So you aren’t going to give up that human no matter what?”
“Do you think we would do all this if we were willing to do that?”
She really is a villain, thought Tenma.
And Omokane continued speaking.
“So I suggest we compromise. Let us return to what Sugawara-kouhai was saying.”
●
“If this goes the DC’s way, Shinto will fight back in every way we can. We will make sure the DC suffers some losses no matter what. That will be the point of our resistance.”
“So you want me to back off as a ‘compromise’?”
“No. …Sugawara-kouhai, explain it for her.”
“Basically, I think we should make use of this situation. Eshtar, you know our situation here and you know what methods we will use if we resist. So…”
So…
“If you act as an intermediary between us and the DC and you promise to not take the human by force, we will support you as a manager of the human-driven terraforming and we will provide you with all resultant information before anyone else.”
●
Eshita immediately deemed that an interesting idea. However…
“You want me to be your puppet?”
“That will be up to you.”
“So you want me to be your manager, but you’re going to treat me like this?”
Oh, no. I’m starting to feel chilled, so this is a serious case of dehydration. I doubt I’ll die, but I’d rather not get an even worse headache.
“So you want water?”
“Yes. Obviously.”
“I would be willing to give you some if you agreed to our compromise plan.”
“For real!? Then I agree, I agree! Now gimme the water!”
Omokane turned toward the others and the human tilted her head.
“Wasn’t she about to protest before!? Wasn’t she gonna make something go boom with a mystical power? She was, wasn’t she!?”
“Let’s just count ourselves lucky she didn’t actually use that spear of death.”
“I was only pretending! I was acting on a whim! The fact that I’m so active is my big selling point as a goddess, so I do stuff like that all the time!”
“She’s not kidding about that, by the way. So be careful, everyone.”
“Hey you! Don’t just spill the beans like that!”
Omokane nodded a few times and then snapped her fingers.
“Strip her.”
●
Stripping her was Shifu’s job.
“Eh!? Wait! Don’t just take advantage of me because I’m feeling all woozy!”
“Now, now, just stay still, okay? I’ll have you stripped in no time.”
“Shifu-senpai, when Eshtar visited the underworld, she had an article of clothing removed at each gate, which also stripped her of her power. She appears to be wearing 7 articles at the moment, so removing around 3 of them should halve her power.”
“H-hey! Stop giving her advice, Miss Flat Chest!”
“Kuwajiri, is that how people see you?”
“Shifu-senpai, go ahead and remove her inner suit too.”
“Eh!? What!? What did I do!? Hey, hey, hey!”
“Wow, this stuff is heavy after soaking up all that sweat.”
“Eh!? Ahh! Stop that! Ah ha ha ha! That tickles! Ah hee hee hee ha ha ha ha! Geh!”
“She laughed so hard she choked?”
“We definitely need to snap a photo now that we’ve stripped her. For insurance purposes. Oh, and Eshtar-kun, only we are here to see this, but Kubiko-kun is monitoring us from a remote location, so if you try anything, this photo will be spread all over the world. Now, I would much rather not do that, but it’s insurance.”
“Insurance sure is convenient.”
“I belieeeeve the word for it is eeeevil.”
“Girls sure are ruthless against other girls.”
“There, all stripped.”
●
Eshita was allowed to keep her inner suit and shirt.
Two articles of clothing meant she was less than a third as powerful as her original state.
But she had gotten water. And more snacks too, so she let out a sigh.
“Ahh, that’s a lot better.”
<Your data entity body was created by us, so any critical deficiencies can be replenished more rapidly than would be biologically possible. Please drink as much as you like.>
“I will,” she said while emptying her first bottle and turning her thoughts to what just happened. “I’m surprised by this.”
“By what?”
That should be obvious. It had to do with the human over there.
“I honestly thought you would be treating the human worse. Since we’re gods and she’s human, I thought you would be holding her more tightly in your grasp. Y’know, to use her like a tool or a slave.”
“Sorry to disappoint you! Oh, but I am a slave to Senpai’s love! Yes, I am a tool that speaks through the language of love! So you weren’t all wrong! Right, Shifu-senpai!?”
“Eshita-chan, do you want some Potelong?”
“These are soooooo good! I love their simplicity!”
“Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Don’t ignore me!”
“Anyway, I didn’t expect you to be so accepting of such a moron.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotta agree with you there.”
“I’m half-god and half-human, but even I see the gods as capricious beings that mostly cause problems.”
“We get along pretty well with the humans, so it feels like these things get more relaxed with the later mythologies.”
“I know what you mean,” said Eshita. “Now. What is this compromise you’re proposing?”
●
Omokane sat directly in front of Eshita with Raidou and Sugawara on either side of her. She set down a beer case and sat on that to put herself at Eshita’s eye level.
“I already explained what I want. I want you to remain here as an inspector so you can act as an intermediary between Shinto and the DC. In exchange, we will provide a guarantee of our continued work on the terraforming and we will provide the DC with all relevant data and results.”
“Heh heh. So you want me to be your accomplice?”
“Wouldn’t that be easier for you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well.” Omokane snapped her fingers and pointed at the pair of 5th Generation half-god, half-humans seated behind her. “I mean them. You came here for them, didn’t you?”
●
“Hm? What does she mean?”
“They mentioned defecting earlier, but I’m not sure.”
“Let’s just say things back home are a bit of a mess.”
“The goddess who let us escape…has been captured back home.”
●
Eshita took a deep breath.
This meant they had known her situation from the beginning.
…Well, I just have to deal with it then.
She was more or less ready for what was to come. Ready to become their “accomplice”, that is.
“He means Shamash, the Mesopotamian sun goddess. She’s my twin sister, she has a higher rank then me, and she’s really kind. In a motherly way.”
So…
“She educated Bilgamesh and, when the gods were going to bring death to Enkidu, she opposed the idea and worked to dissuade the other gods.”
“My mother was Aruru the Creator God, but I was also saved by Shamash from time to time.”
“Anyway,” said Eshita. “In the Earth Age mythology, I sought Bilgamesh’s hand in marriage and was refused and Enkidu was so mad about it she basically cussed me out.”
“Of course I did.”
“Ohhh.”
That about summed it up.
“And that is what led the gods to bring death to Enkidu.”
She summoned the spear of death to her hand.
●
Eshita could tell everyone had grown cautious.
So she just came out and said it.
“This is necessary.”
“For the mythology recreation?”
That was part of it, but this was about something else.
“Shamash and the others were captured for the crime of letting those two escape. Shamash in particular was immediately confined. And the highest gods of Mesopotamian mythology arrived at a decision. If Enkidu dies to recreate the myth, then Shamash can go free.”
“So it’s all about your dumb pride!”
“That’s the way of things with gods. Being important is dumb in so many ways.”
So…
“So to avoid being like that, Shamash took the full blame to protect the others who agreed with her.”
“And you plan to deal with those two here in order to free Shamash?”
“She’s my twin sister. Well, she’s sometimes my brother instead, but that’s a long story. Anyway, I’m still free, so rescuing her is my job. That’s why I came here with this spear while the other gods are working out how to continue with their official duties.”
“Wait, did you steal that spear?”
“N-no! I left a note saying I took it!”
“Eshita-kun? Um, if you didn’t come here as an inspector, then everything we’ve discussed here goes out the window.”
“I did! I swear I did! Please believe me!”
“With everything you’ve pulled in the past, that’s honestly hard to believe.”
“Like destroying a mountain or stealing the wisdom god’s wisdom.”
“But she’s also surprisingly pathetic since she picked a fight with her other sister and lost.”
“Stooooooooooooooooooop!”
“Anyway,” said the flat-chested knowledge god who had supplied the finishing blow against Eshita’s reputation. “This explains something I had been confused about: why Bilgamesh and Enkidu came here. That was part of Shamash’s plan, wasn’t it?”
“Hm? What do you mean by that?”
“Well,” said the flat-chested knowledge god. “Eshtar is part of the myth about death being brought to Enkidu.”
But…
“She, Bilgamesh, and Enkidu also have the story of Enkidu descending to the underworld but returning.”
●
Kuwajiri had a simple question.
“Why did Bilgamesh and Ki choose Shinto after deciding to defect?”
You could always say “they just did”.
You could also say they had nowhere else to go.
But that was not the case.
She finally felt like she understood what had been bothering her about this.
“In the myth of Enkidu returning from the underworld, Ishtar receives Gilgamesh’s help in building a mansion and then throws a party to celebrate, but some musical instruments are dropped into the underworld during the party.”
“Hold up! What kind of world are we talking about here!? Are there just holes to the underworld in your backyard or something!? That’s horrifying! You wouldn’t even see that in Hoshi Shinichi’s short-short stories!”
“You mean like the hole from Oi, Detekoi?”
Seeing the idiot and the girl shaking hands annoyed Kuwajiri a little bit. I don’t get that reference.
“Ohhh, feeling jealous, Kuwajiri-chan?”
“I will endeavor to read more and more broadly from now on.”
Anyway, she had to get back on topic.
“So Enkidu went down to collect those instruments, but he failed to obey the rules of the underworld and couldn’t return.”
“Do you know how many rules they have down there? It’s impossible to remember them all.”
“I was gonna suggest bringing a cheat sheet with you, but you only had clay tablets back then, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, that wasn’t an option.”
Probably not.
“Anyway, Bilgamesh noticed, spoke to the gods, and somehow managed to get Enkidu back from the underworld.”
“That reminds me a lot of the Shinto story of Izanagi and Izanami in Yomi.”
“Yes. As humanity grew in number and migrated across the earth, they passed down the basic story of ‘returning alive from the underworld’ even as it evolved from culture to culture. Shinto’s version came a lot later, so its details had changed considerably, but the basic ideas are still very similar.”
“The story of Enkidu’s return from the underworld began with Eshtar, so if she performs the mythology recreation for that story, she will be able to bring Enkidu back from the underworld.”
●
“Kuwajiri, but dead is dead. How does she bring Enkidu back from being dead?”
“Yes, dead is dead. But we have an example right here of that rule being broken. I am referring to the human – that idiot over there. Humans can be rolled back.”
And…
“Enkidu is a half-god, half-human made by a god. That is not the same as that fully-human idiot, but she still has a human element to her. So we just have to bring Enkidu over to Shinto and apply the rollback system. I do not know the odds of that working, though.”
<There would likely be problems, but the way the system works would make it possible.>
That meant they could do it.
●
“That is Sun God Shamash’s plan, isn’t it?”
Eshtar nodded.
“My sister did not lament the fact that she was captured. She said the gods had no choice but to do it. But she said I could rise above that since I’m ‘a delinquent’.”
“So you’re like the delinquent with a heart of gold who takes in a stray dog?”
“Are you calling me a dog?”
“Then you weren’t supposed to protest on a whim earlier, were you?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight! Cause I was mad! It doesn’t count!”
She was not going to let that slide. But…
“My plan was to get some results as an inspector and then free my sister by placing Enkidu in the Shinto system to…roll her back, did you call it? And this is close enough to what I wanted, so I’ll go with it.”
“We came here on Shamash’s recommendation. She said there was a chance of Ki surviving if we used the Shinto rollback, so that was our plan. But we didn’t expect Eshtar to show up as an inspector and, given what she’s pulled in the past, we couldn’t exactly trust her.”
“So she’s a walking disaster?”
“Hey! Hey! You can’t just blame everything on me!”
“I believe we shall approve Bilgamesh-kun and Enkidu-kun’s defection. In fact, I just did. The higher ups gave me emergency authority to make that decision, so I can do that.”
“I appreciate you doing that even after knowing my plan. If I brought her death without your permission but after she defected, it would mean I had killed a Shinto god.”
“Oh, so that’s why you were willing to accept Bilgamesh’s defection but not Enkidu’s earlier.”
“Yes, I planned to ask Balancer to act as an intermediary in that case. I would have needed a forced intervention to make this a mythology recreation of Enkidu’s return from the underworld.”
I see, thought Kuwajiri. This goddess is an idiot, but she can be clever at times. But…
“Um, but are you sure?”
Senpai-san raised her hand and turned toward Enkidu.
“If we do this, it means bringing death to Kidou-san, doesn’t it?”
●
Ki honestly didn’t like the sound of that.
The whole rollback thing felt like a mess.
You would lose some of your memories, so she and Bilgamesh could not remain the same as they were before. But…
“But…it’s far better than being separated by death.”
She understood that perfectly well.
A tablet-style Revelation Board appeared by Eshita’s face. she glared at it and then shattered it, but…
“Word from back home?”
“Yes. They piss me off so much. When have I ever done anything in a less than flawless fashion?”
Don’t look to me for agreement there.
But Omokane-san responded while opening a Revelation Board and quickly performing a few operations.
“They expect you to betray them, don’t they?”
“Yeah, it certainly seems that way.”
“Betray them how?”
“They think Eshita-kun will allow Bilgamesh-kun and Kidou-kun to escape. I imagine the only reason they are not directly intervening is because Eshita-kun is here as an inspector. If they stopped an inspector on her level before she actually betrayed them, that would qualify as a serious internal conflict. They would be shaming themselves for no reason.”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Hey, wait! Yeah! That indirectly proves I really am here as an inspector, doesn’t it!? See, I told you!”
“Why can’t you prove it yourself?”
“Lack of trust.”
“Lack of trust.”
“Probably lack of trust.”
<Definitely lack of trust.>
“Wow, lack of trust across the board! Hey, Mucho! That’s a rare accomplishment!”
“Really!? Yay! I’m the best!”
“Hey, wait! I’m super trustworthy! Who do you think you are, insulting me like that!?”
“Gods?”
<Your creator.>
“You’ve got me there!”
“B-but, um, isn’t it bad your local gods are checking up on you?”
“Amazing, Senpai. Only you would try to steer the conversation back on track from that.”
That compliment made her kind of happy.
●
“Thank you, Sumeragi-kun. Although I’m a little worried that just means I have trouble reading the room.”
“Not at all! The problem is that no one else even tries to read the room because they’re too caught up in their own ego! You can be as proud of this as you can your looks, your personality, and your boobs!”
“Aren’t looks and boobs the same thing?”
“Don’t you get it!? This means there’s way too much I need to praise her for! Listen! Her looks cover so many things, like her hair, her eyes, and her eyebrows! And looking down a bit, there’s her sexy lips with the lower one being a bit fuller and even her thighs which seem to have a bit more adductor muscles than is strictly necessary! We’d be here all day if I praised her for them all! My fondest wish is to have more time to praise her! Do you get it now, Kuwajiri!?”
“Sugawara-kun, I would love to learn more about your Auth Spell.”
“Ah ha ha! She’s ignoring you!”
“Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! What’s with this weird double team!?”
“Sumeragi-kun, calm down, calm down.”
“Okay, I’ve calmed down. Everything’s fine. Just looking at you calms my heart like a soft drink!”
“What qualifies as a soft drink, anyway?”
<In Japan, it is legally defined as a flavored, non-dairy beverage with an alcohol content of less than 1%.>
“By that definition, tomato juice and soy milk surprisingly qualify as soft drinks. On the other hand, soup is a food, so it would not meet the ‘beverage’ part of the definition.”
“Do you like tomato juice or soy milk more?”
“Senpai! Which do you like more!?”
I really wasn’t sure what to say when Sumeragi-kun directed that question my way out of the blue. I wasn’t cut out for thinking on my feet like this.
“Well, um, if I had to choose…soy milk?”
“Correct. Soy isoflavones activate female hormones, so that seems to fit my image of you. Sumeragi, on the other hand, would probably be better suited with a highly-caffeinated calorie-free cola.”
“Yes, that does sound about right.”
“Really!? Then I’ll paint myself cola colored and stuff myself inside a plastic bottle, so buy me at a vending machine!”
“Hitting the button on the machine and having you fall out sounds downright horrifying.”
“Hey! Hey! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!”
Worrying that Sumeragi-kun would get stuck in there seemed like the wrong thing to focus on. And…
“And it’s done. Their defection has been approved by the virtually-manifested Heavenly Gods.”
●
“That went through quickly. Did you threaten them again? Your leaders really like to avoid trouble with the other mythologies, don’t they?”
“Threaten them? Let’s not be silly.” Omokane laughed. “I think Amaterasu’s conservative side is a good thing for our top authority figure. But she’s being a little cleverer about it this time, Raidou-kun. This is about Shamash.”
“Shamash? What does she have to do with it?”
Curious, are you?
This had to do with them too, so Omokane tapped her Revelation Board without letting them see what it said. She had been using it to contact multiple people via divine transmission.
“Listen up. Shamash is a sun god, but also a goddess. And women will form connections with other women. The male-female ratio of sun gods throughout the world is approximately 2:1, but in the virtual manifestation world, the female sun gods and other significant goddesses have been improving their standing and getting their name out there fairly well. So I went through some other Shinto goddesses with real manifestations to let Amaterasu know that a fellow sun goddess is in trouble.”
“You Shinto gods sure do love setting up a bunch of hidden groundwork instead of tackling your problems head on, don’t you?”
“Our weak position makes that a necessity. Unlike the big-name mythologies who can act Machiavellian for fun, we have to do it to survive. …Anyway, even conservative Amaterasu is willing to act if it will leave another mythology indebted to us. So while the Mesopotamian gods have captured their Sun God Shamash to save face, I doubt they will be able to keep that up for long.”
“Their laundry won’t ever dry otherwise.”
“Yes, and they can’t put their futons out to air out either. Anyway, the Mesopotamians might outwardly say Shinto is pushing our luck, but we can at least establish a connection between Takamagahara and Shamash.”
So…
“Grant Enkidu death, Eshtar. That will settle everything.”
●
…Does it really have to come to this?
Ki – Enkidu – En Kidou had to be “granted death”.
There was no avoiding it.
There was no other option.
But this bothered me.
“Um…is there really no other way?”
“You mean about the rollback?”
“Kidou En’s name has been entered into our rollback system as a special entry. Bilgamesh has not since no request was made, but we should be able to do the same with him. The odds of success are-”
“No, um, I’m not asking if it will work.”
I explained what was bothering me.
“If she’s rolled back, she’ll lose some of her memories and be confused about a lot.”
Also…
“When someone you care about doesn’t remember you or you later realize they’re missing some memory you shared, it really gets you down.”
“Senpai! Has that ever happened with me!?”
“Um, well, uh.”
It had. But…
“You’ve made things even better after going through that, so it’s all right. But…”
“And you think it couldn’t be that way for us?”
“Bil, she’s saying we can’t know what it’s like until we’ve been through it ourselves.”
“Sorry. I’m not trying to one-up your tragedy and I did kind of talk down to you there, didn’t I? I just think it would be better if there was some other way.”
“Could we reach a political resolution?”
“Not a chance. The gods back home will see the usage records for this spear.”
Eshita-san put back on the clothing hanging on the fence around the air conditioner, so she probably needed her strength back to throw the spear. She sniffed at the collar and nodded, so they must have managed to dry off.
Tenma-san placed a hand on her chin at what Eshita-san had said.
“Could you attack a part of Kidou-san’s body – like her hair – instead?”
“I’m granting her death, so the spear won’t disappear as long as any living part of her remains.”
“Why would you create a spear that has to kill someone!? You Mesopotamians are scary!”
“Yeah, I won’t deny we can be a pain sometimes.”
“Just do it,” said a voice.
“I’m okay with it.”
●
This is probably how it has to be, thought Ki while looking to Shamhat.
“Hat. When I was originally more of an animal than anything, it was you who brought me back to my senses and let me get to know Bil and the others.”
So…
“If I do lose my memories, fill me in on everything I lost.”
“So I’m your guardian?”
“I’d say educator.”
“I can do that, but I never did teach you all that much. I mean, you gained a lot more afterwards and that’s what really matters.”
Shamhat nodded.
“But I will make sure you can gain all of that again.”
That settled it. Ki decided it was best to get it over with quick before she could have second thoughts.
“Bil, I’ll see you again.”
“Of course you will. That’s why we are here.”
At least he was as strong as ever. I need to be strong too.
Then she turned toward a certain goddess.
The one they called Senpai.
“Thank you for worrying for me, even if this was already set in stone.”
“No, um, I, uh.”
“I think I was more talking to myself than anything.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Ki recalled why she had come here.
“When you care about someone, it’s only natural to want to be with them and improve your relationship with them.”
“––––––”
Did that trouble her? But Ki decided to offer her a silent prayer: Unknown goddess of a later mythology, may your kindness bring you happiness.
Then Ki realized how shockingly little hesitation she felt.
…Oh, I get it.
She might lose a lot from this, but it would free her from the bonds of eventually being “granted death”.
●
I turned toward Senpai.
“Senpai, do you want to do something about this?”
“Eh? Yes, I know this is the only option, but I still want to do something about it. That’s probably just who I am.”
“You’ve got real courage, Senpai-chan.”
“Yeah, you really do.”
“Eh? No, I’m just gutless.”
That isn’t true at all, I thought. Senpai really is the best. Because…
“Everyone feels the same way you do, but we’re all making excuses to avoid it. So I’m proud of you for being able to come out and say it!”
●
…I’ll finally be freed from that.
No, she already had been now that she was in the rollback system.
Everything will be okay now, she thought while turning toward Eshtar.
She spoke to the goddess standing with black spear in hand.
“Do it.”
“C’mon, at least look a little scared.”
They both smiled at each other as they got ready. Eshtar swung her arm a bit to extend the sleeve of the clothing she had just put back on.
“I’m ready.”
Ki breathed in and shut her eyes.
And then…
“––––––”
If this is what death feels like, then it’s not all that bad really, she thought.
She would change things in order to survive.
●
Eshita chose to throw the spear.
That was partially due to the distance between them, but mostly because she didn’t want the tactile feedback of directly stabbing the spear into Ki. She also vocally psyched herself up.
“Ready, set, boom!!”
She threw it. And immediately…
“Ready, set, boooooom!!”
The idiot pushed Enkidu out of the way.
…What!?
This of course came as a shock. Because the idiot was now in the path of the thrown spear.
There was no way to stop the idiot or the spear.
“Sumeragi-kun!?”
That cry rang out just before the black spear stabbed half of its length into the human.
Chapter 32: Curse 01[edit]
What do you call a punishment you didn’t ask for?
●
The spear stabbed me dead center of the chest. It clearly split my spine and stuff.
…Wow, this hurts like hell!!
C’mon, Mesopotamian gods, if this spear is supposed to “grant death”, couldn’t you make it a little more painless!? Agh, it hurrrrrts.
But when I collapsed backwards and looked down at my not-quite-huge chest, I found the spear was already gone.
I had been granted death.
That meant I was going to die. In fact…
“Ohhhhhh!? There’s light coming from my arms and legs!”
<That is a well-made “death”. It “kills” the target’s body as a data entity and releases the data bonds.>
“This kind of thing always starts from the extremities and works its way in, but shouldn’t it start from the top of the head too? I wonder why it doesn’t.”
“Hey! This isn’t the time for analysis!”
“Sumeragi-kun!”
Senpai ran over to me. Ohh, now that’s a super low angle. Her chest was jiggling and the crotch of her uniform was…how should I put it? Lifting up on her? Ahh, what a waste! Also…
“Hey!”
“Wow, you’ve really done it now.”
Those three busty goddesses gathered around me. Well, one was only a half-goddess, but the image was amazing regardless. I had to be the first human in history to see this. Thank you, god! Which god? Well, there’s plenty to choose from right here. Oh, but you stay out of view, Kuwajiri. You’d ruin the perfection of it.
Anyway, Senpai crouched down and peered into my face. She was crying.
“Sumeragi-kun, why!?”
“Sorry, Senpai. But…”
But this was another way.
“That inspector was supposed to ‘grant death’ to that busty goddess, but she instead ‘granted death’ to their precious human by mistake. Won’t that help you in your negotiations, Omokane-senpai?”
“You just gave me a lot more work, Sumeragi-kouhai.”
She gave a short laugh.
“But if we do this through the DC, it will leave Eshita-kun in a much worse position responsibility-wise, so let’s settle this between Mesopotamia and Shinto. We can designate Shamash as the negotiator to smooth this over and build an understanding between us. We are the victims here because our human was killed. Let us discuss this with an understanding that we are prepared to withdraw our complaint if they send Shamash.”
But…
“Why do this?”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
I watched my feet and hands disappear and felt intermittent waves of excruciating pain, but I still managed to speak.
“Even if those two aren’t separated by death, one of them still might lose her memories or have other issues, right!? I don’t want to find excuses for why that’s the best option! That doesn’t have to happen to anyone other than Senpai and me!”
This would be a problem for Senpai, but you could say it was just more of my troublesome antics.
“Senpai.”
I wanted to say something, but what could I say to that tear-streaked face?
Argh, I could normally talk a mile a minute, but I was completely hopeless at times like this. Her emotion had overpowered me and I felt so bad. I wanted to say something. But…
“Hey, are you okay!?”
Just as Mucho called out in a panicked sort of way, Senpai looked up at her with eyebrows raised.
“You did this!!”
●
Eshita was overpowered for just a moment.
It was true she had caused this to happen and her awareness of that had let her be “defeated”.
But after taking half a step back on reflex, something else happened.
She had reached out her right arm while calling out to the human, but the nails of those fingers suddenly crumbled away.
“…!?”
She thought it was some kind of destruction or collapse Auth Spell.
But it was not. Because her sleeve was still intact. Then was it an Auth Spell related to disease or death?
…No!
This was something more fundamental. Gods like her were defended by many different divine protections and Auth Spells that provided a resistance against disease, death, and injury. Unless she caused the loss hereslf like she had with the previous dehydration, it was nigh impossible to harm her.
So what was this?
She suddenly recalled what Omokane had said.
…That goddess is the most powerful of the gods!
She had thought that was ridiculous and could not possibly be true. She had assumed it was a bluff.
But what was this?
She realized her fingers were collapsing too. This really was not simple destruction.
She thought it might be a drying effect since the skin looked parched and almost seemed to be disintegrating like a dry branch.
She quickly pulled her hand back, but the motion caused her hair to flutter out and the ends of that scattered in the wind too. Whatever this was, it was not going to let her escape, so she raised her voice against whatever was pursuing her.
“Is this a calamity!?”
●
I gasped.
“Ah!”
Now, I’ve done it, was my first thought. I had given into my emotions and grown angry. I had started to feel hatred toward her.
I looked out in front of me and saw Eshita-san there.
She was staring at me with her face pale.
It looked like she was afraid but was trying her best to hide that fact.
“Ah…”
“Senpai-chan, have you calmed down now?”
Shifu-san got down on her knees and held me in her arms from behind. Her presence and body heat brought focus back to my senses and not just my mind.
I really had done it just now.
“What is the meaning of this?”
There was no hiding it now. While I tried to figure out if I should stay silent or say something, Omokane-san spoke up.
“Let me assure you that was an accident. And that it was the natural reaction of a partner.”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
Eshita-san took a breath to regather strength in her body. The fear faded from her face, leaving only consternation behind.
“What…was that?”
●
“Yes, it probably is about time to reveal this just to the people here.”
Omokane spoke while viewing the goddess who was lending Sumeragi her lap and who was held in Shifu’s arms.
“She is the most powerful wildcard against any god from Shinto or otherwise. She is Iwanaga-hime.”
●
Kuwajiri had a question.
Once it had been decided she would work with Shinto, she had investigated their gods. She had plenty of knowledge on them, even if it was more like a catalog of gods than anything. Based on that, she knew the story behind Iwanaga-hime.
“In Shinto mythology, the Heavenly God Ninigi descended to Japan after the creation of Japan and after the gods began to live their various lives, right? And on his journey, he married a beautiful Earthly God named Konohana Sakuya-hime and their descendants became the Japanese people.”
“Correct. Some of the myths say the people were created by the Heavenly Gods and others say they came about from that marriage with an Earthly God. However…”
The origin of the Japanese people might seem unconnected to the topic at hand, but it was necessary groundwork for discussing Iwanaga-hime.
Kuwajiri explained why while viewing the girl seated in front of her.
“When Ninigi married Konohana Sakuya-hime, there was another possible bride: her older sister Iwanaga-hime. But because Iwanaga-hime was ugly, Ninigi rejected her and married Konohana Sakuya-hime instead.”
However…
“When their father Ooyamatsumi learned of this, he said this to Ninigi: ‘What have you done? Iwanaga-hime is the god of longevity. Because you rejected her, your descendants will all have short lives.”
“Yes, that is how the Kojiki describes it, but the Nihon Shoki says that Iwanaga-hime resented Konohana Sakuya-hime and shortened her descendants’ lives with a curse.”
“I did nothing of the sort!!”
Shifu gently rocked her body while holding Senpai-san tight.
But Kuwajiri noticed that Eshtar’s right arm was beginning to regenerate. Then what kind of authority had destroyed her hand?
Destruction? Withering? Or maybe drying or disintegration? None of those had anything to do with the story of Iwanaga-hime’s rejection. There was only one possibility.
“The shortening and lengthening of one’s lifespan. That is Iwanaga’s authority, isn’t it?”
●
Eshita now understood what had nearly happened to her.
Her lifespan had been shortened.
Gods effectively had no lifespan since they were not human. However…
“Anyone who rejects her has their lifespan shortened?”
“Indeed.”
The Shinto Representative did not try to hide it anymore.
“And it even affects the god’s believers since most mythologies have those being children of the gods.”
“Eh? Hold on. But I thought gods generally had no lifespan and lived forever.”
But this would shorten their lives and make them die.
“It removes your immortality?”
That felt like the collapse of a crucial assumption.
They were gods, so they were supposed to be eternal, unlike humans. Except…
“She can give gods human-like lifespans…and give their human believers even shorter lifespans!?”
She shuddered.
What would have happened if that had fully hit her?
She would have died.
Even gods would die if they were killed, but that was worth mentioning because gods would not die if they were not killed.
That was how life and death worked for gods.
But what would happen to a god if they were hit by Iwanaga-hime’s authority?
“You’re given a lifespan?”
It changed.
All the rules changed.
You would be unable to escape death.
No matter what you did or how much you struggled, you would die when your limited lifespan reached its end. And it would be a shortened lifespan.
Eshita was supposed to live free without a care in the world, but this would make it so even she died and was no more after a few decades. Based on the collapse of her hand earlier, she had nearly been hit by the authority but it had missed.
“What happened to my hand means I’ve already reached the end of whatever lifespan she was giving me, doesn’t it?”
“I’m glad you noticed. Every god out there has lived dozens if not thousands of times as long as a human. That’s just how it is. So if we’re hit with a short-life enchantment, we die instantly. And our believers will also have their lifespan shortened by her authority. Since the lengthening of lifespans also comes from Iwanaga-hime, only she can remove the shortened lifespan. But if you’ve made her your enemy, that isn’t going to happen, is it?”
So…
“If you oppose Iwanaga-hime, a shortened lifespan is impossible to avoid. No one will want to worship a god if that shortens your lifespan, so even if the god survives, they will eventually dry up and die from the lack of worship.”
Omokane pointed at the bottom of her neck.
“There are a lot of myths about determining people’s lifespans. In Mesopotamian mythology, Bilgamesh seeks out the rejuvenating aquatic plant named Shibu Issahir Amelu to bring Enkidu back to life. In Yomoji-kun’s mythology, choosing to eat the Fruit of Knowledge in paradise does it. The Laurasian ones seem to involve choosing to eat something a lot of the time. And the Gondwanan ones aren’t much different since they use the selection of food, objects, or people’s appearances. Anyway, it changes forms a lot, but most mythologies involve ‘choosing something’ in the determination of lifespan.”
But…
“But you could say she is the only god who directly possess that power as an authority that can affect even gods.”
That was crazy because there was no way to defend against it.
“Gods are immortal, so we cannot preemptively give ourselves a long lifespan to defend against the shortening. Because we already have an infinite lifespan which is considered superior.”
“Yes. If we did have finite lives like the humans, we probably could have defended against it by lengthening our lifespan, but our lives are infinite. Do you see now why she is the most powerful?”
She was a weak god in purely physical combat.
She also had a low divine rank.
But that authority could reach the other gods and there was no defending against it no matter how much higher your divine rank was.
“Inspire hatred in her, and it will reach you. …That is what you felt just now, wasn’t it? Hatred.”
Yes, that was right.
“Emotions are powerful enough to kill even gods.”
●
“I’m sorry.”
I was used to saying that.
The words were directed toward Sumeragi-kun who was disappearing below me.
I had to apologize to him because…
“You wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t said anything.”
And…
“I’m so powerless I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”
Also…
“I’m too weak to heal you now.”
Yes. It all came down to my weakness.
“I wanted a good power, not this scary one!!”
I was no use at all.
All I did was cause problems. But…
“Senpai!”
I heard a voice and looked down to see Sumeragi-kun looking up at me.
“Don’t worry cause I’ll come back to life! This being the 13th time admittedly sounds like bad luck, but that jinx isn’t a Shinto thing! So…”
Sumeragi-kun smiled up at me.
“Don’t forget about me, okay?”
That was the end.
Sumeragi-kun scattered away as ether and Shifu-san held me tighter from behind.
“Ah…”
Tears spilled from my eyes. They would not stop and they were accompanied by sobs.
Everything I had held in for the last 12 times came out all at once.
●
Ahh, why?
Why can’t I ever have anyone I care about?
And it’s always me that pushes them away with this power.
●
Eshita sighed.
She had no idea what was going on. Far too much had happened over the past few hours.
But she did have to ask one thing.
“Omokane? You can bring that human back to life, can’t you?”
“Oh, are you worried?”
That question was probably meant as a yes.
But this was a problem.
This divine world now only contained gods.
And from what she had heard, humans were far more ephemeral and transient than the gods.
“Agh! I can’t deal with any of this!”
Everyone here was worried about the human.
Gods were supposed to be the center of attention, so didn’t that mean them?
But…
“What’s wrong with you? You’re making me feel like I was defeated!”
She did, however, make sure to buy some Karamucho and Wasabeef before heading back.
Interlude[edit]
“Eshtar, that drink from before is called ginger ale.”
“I-I knew that! Um, which drink was that!?”
Chapter 33: Paperboy 04[edit]
–The morning sun shines on the moment of renewal.
●
“I died!!”
I was at a quiet location.
It was a terrace.
The ceiling and floor were semicircles and, to reveal my complete lack of vocabulary, the floor was super-duper smooth. I was lying down and couldn’t even get up without slipping because of how, well, smooth and slippery it was. Man, I really don’t have much of a vocabulary, do I!? Oh, but it was colored white.
It was a large area with glass around the outside. Everyone had restrained me and thrown me in here. Was this one of those rooms where you had to do something to be let out?
But things were pretty crazy outside the windows. That had to be outer space. It was the night sky but without a ground below it. It continued on forever and a whole bunch of lights were flying back and forth while things exploded.
Yeah, it was like a 3D version of a shoot ‘em up’s final stage.
Except I was being automatically flown through it, so was it more like a 3D theater? Was this Galaxian 3? Project Dragoon?
And someone stood there with all that in the background.
It was a girl.
I’m pretty sure I knew who she was.
She was…
●
I awoke with a start.
I felt like I just had an awful dream. Or rather…
“I died!!”
What I mean is, I experienced a shock that took my life away, leaving me dead. But it wasn’t a bad thing. I was surprised by something that made me to happy. I had wondered if something so good could really happen to me.
“Excellent.”
I caught my breath while just sitting in bed in a T-shirt and boxers with the morning sun shining in on me.
I checked the digital clock on the same shelf as the TV next to the bed and saw it was 08:05 of 8/5/1990. I liked how the time and date matched. Was this going to be a good day?
But that aside…
“Is this what it was??”
The reason I had “died” had fallen onto the bed. They were game glasses for an immersion game. That would mean I fell asleep playing a game. But in that case, what a game! What a story! Was that one of those porn games that keep coming out these days!? I hope so! The scene I was seeing would still be uncensored too! Wait, what do I mean “still”? Oh, who cares.
But in that case, I wanted to avoid continuing the porn game first thing in the morning.
●
Oh, right, I thought.
…It’s summer break! Now’s not the time to be sitting around playing porn games!
I had been spending all my time working part-time. On the last day of school, I had played Darius II in a Darius cabinet at the Oslo in front of Tachikawa Station. When I left the arcade just before it closed, a HiAce was parked there.
“The heck is this?”
“We’re gathering people for street vendor jobs in Ishikawa Prefecture. Wanna come?”
I of course hopped in the van and ended up cooking okonomiyaki in Ishikawa for about two weeks. Man, I’m stupidly impulsive at times. I gained a new skill plus 170,000 yen and thought I was set for life, but it was really annoying how none of my colleagues knew Japanese and we had no other language in common either.
Anyway, after spending the start of my summer break like that, I thought I would use that funding to buy a bike, some clothes, a bag, and other equipment for a trip.
I was thinking about getting a sleeping bag too since I was planning to camp out.
Which reminded me.
“I should go on a trip.”
Where would I go?
It wouldn’t count as a real trip unless I went further than Ishikawa.
I knew Ishikawa pretty well. On my 5th day working as a street vendor there, our “boss” gathered everyone together, spread out a map of Japan, and spoke with a fairly useless interpreter next to him.
“Listen up. One of you ran off, so let me be clear about this: You can only survive here because we took you in. You have nowhere to run to, okay? …Wait, what are you doing here? You’re Japanese!”
“It just kind of happened.”
And when he paid me…
“Where’s the payslip?”
He gave me a huge compliment for asking that: “You have a lot of guts, you know that!?” Not sure why, but okay.
●
Wow, I am being really exposition-y here, aren’t I?
●
I didn’t have any breakfast. Crap. I hadn’t expected the fridge to be empty.
I needed a full stomach before I left on a trip.
I did have money. As for clothes…
“What was my part-time job for again?”
The closet only had school uniforms. And I mean only new style summer ones.
Also…
“Why do I have women’s underwear in here?”
Had I awoken to a new fetish at some point?
●
“For real?”
These were clearly underwear. Women’s underwear.
When had I bought them?
And what did it mean? I could maybe understand a swimsuit…well, no. That would be weird too.
My life here had grown confusing in the blink of an eye.
This made no sense.
Up until last night, I was cooking okonomiyaki with my bottom-of-the-pyramid pals and enjoying myself by admiring the cute young women in yukatas, the fireworks, and the other festival sights. But then I get home to find women’s underwear in my room.
It was kind of scary, so I checked the bath and in all the drawers. I also looked under the bed.
“No one’s here.”
I started to worry there was some obsessive stalker in the room next door and this was their doing.
It would be pretty bad if they had their room covered in photos of me and they pressed their ear against the wall while making weird noises. Unless they were a hot, busty, and kind – then it’d be A-OK! Bring it on!
Oh, but the room next door is supposed to be empty.
Now I disappointed myself.
But what was with the women’s underwear?
“…”
I tried them on in front of the closet real quick.
“A perfect fit.”
Huh?
Is that what this was?
Had I done it? At least this meant I hadn’t stolen them.
“But wait!”
What did this mean? I began an investigation.
●
I grabbed my wallet from the kitchen, opened it, and checked the receipts inside.
I had just over 110,000 yen left. And the receipts said I must have gone to the FamilyMart in Sunagawa last night. Also…
“I bought these at Will? This ‘Women’s Under’ has to be it, right? I didn’t hop aboard a HiAce to go help out because the women’s underwear was in trouble, did I?”
But if I was helping out, why would they have charged me money? That makes no sense. But still…
“I don’t remember this at all.”
Why did I head out to buy women’s underwear one summer morning? I had no idea, but I could picture the scene at the register. It probably went something like this:
“Oh! I’d like these please! A bra and panties set of women’s underwear! No, 5 sets! Oh, do you have these in wine red!? Then I’ll have one set in that! That should be more exciting! For my family!? No, no! For me! Yes, and could I get a receipt please! Filled out anonymously? No! Fill out the receipt for Sumeragi Izumi! Yes, that’s my real name of course! And make sure the product is listed as ‘women’s underwear’. …Oh, it’s all ready!? Thank you so much!”
I was pretty sure I would have gone that far, but it was hard to say.
I should probably stop inventing memories.
Anyway, I didn’t remember doing it, but I had definitely bought the mystery underwear. The memory was entirely absent, but it was possible I had bought them by mistake somehow. However…
“That would be so boring.”
It is what it is, so can’t I just say something more interesting happened? I wondered.
Anyway, I had new style uniforms, so I could put one of them on and go shopping for casual clothing.
Then I could go on a trip.
But I didn’t want to bring too much with me. I could wash my pants and shirt at my destination, so I decided to pack two days’ worth and I could do the same with underwear. Anyway…
“Time to go shopping.”
●
“Okay.”
Once I was dressed, I headed out. My room was on the 2nd floor. The hallway was as large as a terrace and…
“–––––”
I felt like there was someone there.
But there wasn’t.
Of course there wasn’t.
The room next door was empty. I checked out of curiosity but didn’t sense anyone’s presence near the door.
I looked out past the railing, but…
“No one.”
There was no one there.
●
“Since when did I get so lonely?”
I tended to talk to myself, but that was due to playing too many video games.
But whatever.
There was no one there, like always. The garbage trucks would be out at this hour, so it seemed too early to go shopping.
But something wasn’t right.
No, everything was right, but that right felt wrong. Like something was asking me if I really wanted this to be right.
The feeling had been following me around all morning, but what was it?
“Oh.”
I remembered I had checked out some books at the library.
I couldn’t remember when I had checked them out, but it must have been a while back.
I also couldn’t remember why I had checked them out. Had I done it before summer break?
“That’s right, that’s right,” I said. I was trying to tell that odd feeling that things here really were right. I had to finish my preparations and then leave on my trip.
But would it be okay to keep the books checked out over summer break? I wasn’t sure. I was pretty sure the library was always open.
So I decided to go return them.
That would kill some time this morning.
They would probably be open by 9, so I could kill time there until around 10.
“Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”
Doing that felt “right” somehow and that seemed to drive me to action.
Something wasn’t right.
So I returned to my room, stepping out of the bright morning and into that dark indoor space, and felt some meaningless relief. But I felt a weird urgency, like I couldn’t stay here forever.
“The books.”
There they were.
●
In the kitchen, I found 5 books stacked up on top of the storage box next to the fridge.
I didn’t remember reading them, but that made sense. If I had actually planned to read them, I wouldn’t have gone to Ishikawa. And they were probably really overdue by now.
It would have seemed too weird to carry them in my arms, so I stuck them in a shoulder bag.
Then I left.
There really wasn’t anyone when I left my room.
●
Why did this all feel so weird?
●
I thought about a number of things while walking, but other than the weird empty spot in the junk food section of the convenience store I stopped at on the way, everything was normal.
The clerk responded in the usual doll-like fashion, so everything was normal.
“Are they out of ginger ale too? I could have sworn they kept it here.”
Something was beginning. My 7th sense said so.
But I couldn’t worry too much about that, so I bought a meat-filled steamed bun and a fruit and vegetable drink for an unnecessarily balanced breakfast.
●
Once at school, it was ten past nine, but the library wasn’t open.
“What the heck!? And I was hoping to look at the sex ed books and the gymnastics and swimming pages of the practical PE lessons! How dare you suck all the fun out of my summer break!”
I rattled the door like a monkey, but it wouldn’t budge. That pissed me off, so…
“Dammit! Do I have to take a dump in front of this door to teach you a lesson!?”
But I realized they definitely had security cameras in the hallways and doing that would only hurt me, so I abandoned the idea.
This had all been a waste of time. I thought about checking on my classroom, so I walked down the walkway to Building B.
And then…
“Ah! Sumeragi-chaaaan!”
Someone called to me from Building A.
●
I looked up from the walkway, wondering who it was, but…
“…”
There was no one there.
“Eh?”
The place was deserted. I still thought I could hear the voice echoing between Buildings A and B, but there was no one in the Building A hallway. None of the windows on its three floors were open.
I must have imagined it.
I was hearing things. Or to put it more simply…
“Is my true power awakening within me?”
I’m serious!
But I could have sworn I heard that phantom voice. Which I guess is how phantom voices usually work.
“Did it come from there?”
The eastern end of Building A was the club building. I didn’t belong to a club, but I decided to check it out.
●
I went there.
It was summer break and pretty early in the morning, so there wouldn’t be anyone there.
I wanted to go to Will at 10, so I had to kill time until then.
And while considering that, I noticed something.
“It’s like I’m trying really hard to find a reason to go there.”
●
The club building…or did they call it the school club building? Who cares.
It was a 3-story circular building with a courtyard in the middle.
The entrance was an opening through the first floor leading into the courtyard. When you passed through the building, there were shower rooms and such on the right and stairs and vending machines on the left.
It felt like you could live here if you wanted to.
It was really quiet at this time.
The sun was not yet shining directly into the courtyard, so it was only dimly lit.
“So this is what the place is like.”
And just as I said that…
“You suck so bad at this!”
“Ohhhh, sounds liiiike you’re having fuuuun.”
I heard voices.
They came from the room directly across the courtyard from the entrance. More than one person were doing something exciting inside.
It was still barely past 9, so if they were this heated up now, they may have spent the night there.
I was curious, so I decided to approach.
“Hey.”
But someone called out to me from behind.
●
I looked back to find someone I didn’t know. I got the feeling he was an upperclassman. He had a turban made from a few different colors of bandanna worn deep over his eyes.
“It hasn’t been deactivated yet, so you can come out, but you can’t go in. Circle around on the inside.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, yeah.” He leaned back a bit. “Fine. I’m headed in the same direction, so come with me.”
I didn’t know what any of this was about, but I did so.
Really, though. What was this about?
All we did was circle around the courtyard. We followed the inner wall and the upperclassman in front of me tapped on the wall or drain spouts along the way. And then…
“This is the place, right? The game club.”
“Oh, yes! This is it! Thanks!”
“Don’t worry about it. It happens to everyone at first. And I’m partially to blame since I forgot to deactivate it this time.”
He reached for a door painted with an “Art Club” label.
“See you. You can head straight through on your way out.”
“Okay,” I said while he opened the art club door and went inside.
Was I imagining the smell of incredibly dry sand coming from in there?
A hot and dry wind blew out from the room.
“Ohh?”
Did the art club have a kiln for firing pottery?
I noticed something as the hot wind circling around the courtyard pushed on me.
At some point, I had grabbed the doorknob to the game club where I had heard those voices.
●
Would I do it?
Would I go in?
No, wait. I had to knock first.
The art club’s door was shut, but what about this one?
Could I open it?
Could I get in?
I was only going to take a peek to kill some time.
And if it wasn’t a good fit for me, I could just say bye and leave.
Was I going to do it?
I was.
Yes.
“Okay.”
Just as I decided to do it, I heard a voice from behind me.
“What are you doing here?”
●
I didn’t even need to look back. I knew who this girl was.
Yes. Her grades were 5th in our year and she had a crazy belligerent way of talking, but she was really easy to get worked up.
“Umm, your name was…”
“Hm? Wait a second.”
“Huh? What? You got a problem with me standing here!? You refuse to recognize me as a fellow intelligent being just cause I’m standing in front of a door!? You think I’m not worthy of standing in front of doors!? Oh! I see how it is! Well, fine then! I’ll use the back entrance!”
“I don’t care about any of that. …So what’s this? Do you remember my name?”
“Eh?”
My initial response was “of course I do”, but then…
“Huh?”
“What?”
Once she asked, I realized I didn’t know the name of this girl in a new type uniform.
No, I did know it, but…
“I know it, but I don’t?”
“What now?”
“Oh, I get it. I haven’t raised the proper flags yet. I didn’t meet all the conditions for this route.”
“What are you talking about?”
She gave me one hell of a glare.
But I shook my head.
I knew her, but I couldn’t find the memories. It was like the information I knew had to be there was sealed off and I couldn’t find it.
So was it actually in my head somewhere?
“Umm.”
I thought for a bit and it hit me.
“You have a body part in your name, don’t you!?”[1]
“Like what?”
I gave her a closer look.
…Was it hips?
Even from the front, I could tell she had a nice butt, so “butt” was my real guess there. But I couldn’t exactly just say “butt” to a girl. So…
“Are you Oda No-boobs-naga of the Oda clan?”
“Kuwajiri. My name is Kuwajiri.”
“Cute-wajiri?”
“Kuwajiri!”
Then she walked over next to me.
Hooray, I’d never been so close to a girl before! But I had to avoid doing anything creepy. Then I’d get the cops called on me for the first time too. Besides, getting turned on just from being near a girl would make me pretty pathetic. Yes, I wouldn’t get turned on from being near just any girl. Only the busty ones. And did Kuwajiri count there? She did not. Which meant now was not the time to get turned on.
“Very logical.”
“What are you muttering about? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m functioning on pure logic here.”
She gave me one hell of a glare.
But I had calmed down. I wasn’t even trying to touch her or anything criminal like that.
“Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff. You smell a lot like Karamucho and snacks like that. Are you okay?”
“What!?”
She glared at me, but she did take a test sniff of her own hair and arm.
She must have been near those snacks sometime recently. And…
“––––––––”
She glared at me again, but that was all. Then she reached for the game club’s doorknob that I had let go of.
“What? Did you want to join the club?”
“Eh? Um, well, to be honest, I was just trying to kill some time.”
“I see,” she said while turning the knob and pushing. “Then I’m sorry to say that no one’s in yet today.”
●
Eh? I thought. What is she talking about? Because…
“I just heard voices from in there.”
I followed Kuwajiri through the opened door, but…
“–––––”
There was no one inside.
●
There was no one there. Well, Kuwajiri and I were there, but in the large space past us, I only saw a table and six chairs. There was a window and lockers past that.
“Are you sure you weren’t just confused?”
She flipped on the lights and it felt kind of chilly.
But not because the air conditioning was on. The deserted room simply lacked the heated energy I had expected. But…
“No, I definitely heard voices from in here. They sounded like they were messing around. Oh! But I don’t mean that in a dirty way! They were both male voices, but it wasn’t that kind of messing around! Don’t get any weird ideas, okay! Man, that really sounded like I was talking about something dirty, huh!? If you point out it sounded dirty, it means you’re normal, but if you don’t, it means you’re a secret pervert! Which means you’re the stealth perv here.”
She ignored me.
But I had heard voices from in here.
There was a table.
There were things left on top of the table.
There were chairs.
“You can take a seat if you like.”
The frontmost seat on the far right was by the entrance, so it was probably meant for visitors like me.
I sat down and looked around.
“…”
It was a concrete room simply painted white. There were a few pipes running along the ceiling, but they were hard to see.
Further in, there was a window with lockers along the wall on either side of it. There were shelves up to the ceiling on top of the lockers and they had some kind of storage boxes and bags on them.
There was an air conditioner on the front end of the ceiling and two sets of two fluorescent lights.
It was a crudely designed place, but that made it feel like a home base.
“I see.”
Kuwajiri had opened the rightmost locker and stuck her head inside, but now she stepped back and took a breath.
She turned toward me.
“I’ll be leaving now since that was all I needed to check, but what about you?”
“Oh, then I’ll leave too.”
“You can kill time here if you want. No one will question it if you say you’re thinking of joining the club and we generally leave the place open.”
“Man, you’re careless!”
“Our upperclassmen are pretty influential, so generally no one would dare steal anything.”
She walked quickly toward the door.
“I’ll keep this open. …You’re headed to Tachikawa, right? You can wait until 10 reading those books you brought if you want.”
●
“She actually left me here.”
She really was careless.
But leaving now felt like it would only encourage her carelessness. And…
“I could have sworn there was someone here.”
I checked under the table, but there was no one there. Honestly, it would’ve been pretty scary if there was someone there, so I was glad there wasn’t.
“…”
That just left the lockers in the back. There was a 21-inch TV in front and I saw a Famicom in the TV stand below it.
“What were the people here doing?”
I went to check.
I stood up and checked inside the TV stand. I saw the Famicom as well as a box full of game cartridges.
●
Ohh, they’ve got a lot of classics here, I thought.
Most of them were multiplayer games. Famista was an obvious example. Same with the soccer game. Oh, the rules for Tecmo’s American football game were a bit confusing, but I loved how big the characters were in it.
“I was a Megadrive kid, so it’s nice having all these here to check out.”
They even had Penguin Wars.
“When you play against other people, it always puts you up against the CPU for the first round. I really wish they would fix that.”
Then I realized something.
I had discussed this with someone before.
●
“But with who?”
With a friend? No, I wasn’t the friend-having sort of person. I could say that with absolute confidence.
But what was this? I felt like I had discussed with a whole group of people before. Or more accurately…
“I discussed it with someone when several other people were present.”
But what did that mean? When would there be a bunch of people present and I was only speaking with one of them?
Oh, I know what it had to be!
“I was captured by an evil order of knights. They chained me up and surrounded me while my rival who betrayed me said, ‘This is for being so good at Penguin Wars.’ ”
No, never mind.
I tried to make it interesting and failed miserably. Besides, would anyone really betray someone just because they got beaten bad at Penguin Wars? Well, maybe. It is really irritating when someone beats you all at once. You have to be careful with multiplayer games because you can get so heated up it turns into a real life battle.
But what was this?
“Who was it?”
Who had I discussed this with?
No, I had to think more carefully.
“I don’t even have a Famicom.”
Well, Penguin Wars already existed back when I was in elementary school. It was in the arcades and was released for the MSX and Famicom afterwards. I had an MSX2 and 98 at home, so I might have played it with my friends back when I was still so pure and innocent in elementary or middle school. But…
“But the conversation I remember was more like discussing those older memories in the present.”
This was weird.
And then I found something else. I discovered a certain game in the box of Famicom games. It was called…
“Family Tennis.”
●
Once I spoke those words, the memories came rushing back.
●
“Yes. I used to loooove gambling when IIII was younger.”
“––––––”
“Sumeragi, you intentionally took a loss so ––––––––––––!? Who loses while using ***!?”
“Huh!? –––––. I give every challenge my very best shot, but when ■■ played against me using %%% and swung her body around along with the controller, I couldn’t take my eyes off her jiggling boobs and a game over was unavoidable! So –––––”
“But ■■-chan? The match against Sumeragi-chan might be a special case, but why are you so good at this game?”
“Eh? A-am I that good?”
“I think it worked in her favor that she focuses on her hands without looking at her opponent. With a ––––– TV, she can still see the whole screen while focused on her hands. And–––––”
“Kh. I can’t believe I ended up in 4th while using ???.”
“Well, I’m not too upset since I ended up in 2nd.”
●
“–––––!?”
The vision I saw was like a surprise attack.
But I did my best to remember it. Like it was something I had to memorize for a test. Because…
“This is super important for me!”
It was a clue. Yes. A clue to what, I didn’t know, but I knew it had to be one.
Interlude[edit]
“Hey, Kuwajiri, I’m hearing some weird noises from the game club.”
“Sorry, I’m off duty today, so I’m getting some homework done.”
Chapter 34: Flash Back[edit]
–Do you know what you have forgotten?
●
Yes. This was a clue.
This memory was a clue to regaining something important.
It hit me all at once.
●
“Yes. I used to loooove gambling when I waaaas younger.”
“––––––”
“Sumeragi, you intentionally took a loss so ––––––––––––!? Who loses while using ***!?”
“Huh!? –––––. I give every challenge my very best shot, but when ■■ played against me using %%% and swung her body around along with the controller, I couldn’t take my eyes off her jiggling boobs and a game over was unavoidable! So –––––”
“But ■■-chan? The match against Sumeragi-chan might be a special case, but why are you so good at this game?”
“Eh? A-am I that good?”
“I think it worked in her favor that she focuses on her hands without looking at her opponent. With a ––––– TV, she can still see the whole screen while focused on her hands. And–––––”
“Kh. I can’t believe I ended up in 4th while using ???.”
“Well, I’m not too upset since I ended up in 2nd.”
●
“Wow.”
What was with that conversation?
But I recognized it. I had held that conversation – probably recently – while playing Family Tennis.
Yes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have such a detailed memory of it. But maybe it was a dream? No, I couldn’t back down from this! Even if it was a dream, there were multiple girls there.
Do I really think I’m worthy of such a happy dream!?
But if it wasn’t a dream, was it real!?
Me, playing games with multiple girls!? That’s crazy!
Anyway, was this for real?
I honestly couldn’t believe it.
But who had been speaking to who? And about what?
I thought about it. My name had been mentioned a few times in that memory. For example:
“Sumeragi, you intentionally took a loss so ––––––––––––!? Who loses while using ***!?”
That loss must have been in Family Tennis.
Yes, we were playing Family Tennis. And my memory was during a post-match analysis.
I had to remember. Yes, I had to remember.
I had a starting point for resurrecting the memory: Family Tennis.
Two people would play against each other and they could choose their character.
You couldn’t both choose the same character and there were obvious differences in character abilities. The scariest part was how blatant the difference between the good characters and bad characters was.
So you could win or lose the match entirely based on what character you chose.
And there were only a few characters that basically guaranteed a win.
“Bunbun has the best serve and Endoru is the best all around.”
I noticed that I was oddly knowledgeable about this for someone who didn’t have a Famicom.
“I must have played it a lot.”
The *** in the conversation was probably Bunbun, the one with the super-fast serve.
Hitting a good serve to finish things quick was my way of playing the game. And I was probably speaking with an upperclassman. If I had intended to win, I would’ve gone straight for it instead of letting it develop into a rally. So that one was Bunbun.
That gave me a clue to solve another one.
“Kh. I can’t believe I ended up in 4th while using ???.”
??? would be Endoru, a good character with all-around high parameters. They were good for dealing with Bunbun, so that had to be the answer.
Both these lines were spoken by a male voice, seemingly an upperclassman. They had to be the same person.
The 2nd line that I only remembered as “––––––” and the 4th line starting with “Huh!?” were me.
I put those in place and tried to remember it all better.
●
“Yes. I used to loooove gambling when I waaaas younger.”
“––––––”
“Sumeragi, you intentionally took a loss so ––––––––––––!? Who loses while using Bunbun!?”
“Huh!? –––––. I give every challenge my very best shot, but when ■■ played against me using %%% and swung her body around along with the controller, I couldn’t take my eyes off her jiggling boobs and a game over was unavoidable! So –––––”
“But ■■-chan? The match against Sumeragi-chan might be a special case, but why are you so good at this game?”
“Eh? A-am I that good?”
“I think it worked in her favor that she focuses on her hands without looking at her opponent. With a ––––– TV, she can still see the whole screen while focused on her hands. And–––––”
“Kh. I can’t believe I ended up in 4th while using Endoru.”
“Well, I’m not too upset since I ended up in 2nd.”
●
I felt like it was coming together now. And I could fill in another one basically for free.
“Kuwajiri!”
Yes, that girl in my year I had just met. But I had recognized her voice.
It was so familiar I just knew I must have spoken with her before.
The 7th line starting with “I think” was you, Kuwajiri.
There were also two people with distinctive ways of talking.
There was that 1st line with the weirdly extended words. That one didn’t say anything after that.
I must have said something in response to his line, but since I didn’t remember what that was, my comment must have been fairly sensible or subdued.
That meant they were probably an upperclassman too. He seemed ranked above us all somehow. The way they spoke sounded male. I’m okay with girls who talk like boys, but the word stretching was a different story. Yes, that’s just what my heart was telling me. Sorry, I got a little carried away there. But with that decided, I would call him Boy Senpai 2.
Then there was a female voice that tried to calm down Boy Senpai 1. She seemed pretty casual with him, so I’ll call her Girl Senpai 1.
Now, let’s see what it looks like with all that in place.
●
“Yes. I used to loooove gambling when I waaaas younger.”
“––––––”
“Sumeragi, you intentionally took a loss so ––––––––––––!? Who loses while using Bunbun!?”
“Huh!? –––––. I give every challenge my very best shot, but when ■■ played against me using %%% and swung her body around along with the controller, I couldn’t take my eyes off her jiggling boobs and a game over was unavoidable! So –––––”
“But ■■-chan? The match against Sumeragi-chan might be a special case, but why are you so good at this game?”
“Eh? A-am I that good?”
“I think it worked in her favor that she focuses on her hands without looking at her opponent. With a ––––– TV, she can still see the whole screen while focused on her hands. And–––––”
“Kh. I can’t believe I ended up in 4th while using Endoru.”
“Well, I’m not too upset since I ended up in 2nd.”
●
“–––––––”
I recognized it. I recognized this conversation. I mean, I was right in the middle of it.
But there was one person who I didn’t know.
Who had spoken the 6th line?
The one whose name only appeared as ■■.
I had apparently let them have a win. No, I had been so ecstatic about getting to play a game with them I ended up losing.
They were a girl. I mean, I mentioned her boobs!
“Woo hoo!”
What did this mean? I had played Family Tennis with a busty girl in a memory I couldn’t fully recall!? Hey, you! Yeah, you! You’d better bring that memory back right this instant or I’ll never forgive you! Never ever!!
But who was ■■?
Oh, dammit! I just figured out what %%% had to be! If a female player was doing a lot of running around, it had to be Ebaruto! Yes, Ebaruto is the 3rd best female character in the game. If she chose her, she must have been new to the game. Maybe that’s why I let her win.
I wasn’t sure.
But I was sure this person was a girl and an upperclassman.
The way I seemed to look up to her tells me we aren’t in the same year. Actually, I seem to look up to her so much I practically worship her. And if she has big boobs, that makes sense!
But what’s her name? She’s a girl, an upperclassman, and probably someone close to me.
“–––––––”
That upperclassman was the only one in my memory who was referred to be name. My name was mentioned, you say? No, my name is mere garbage compared to the name of a busty girl.
So what name is that ■■ hiding?
I feel like the two blocks must mean it’s two kanji long.
Um, what names are two kanji long? Tanaka, Hirano, Satou, Suzuki, Nakamura, Takahashi, Itou, Watanabe, Yamamoto…no, none of this feels anywhere close.
Those are all family names, so maybe a given name?
Let’s see – Take, Matsu, Ume. No, wait, those are the three sushi ranks! Which one is eel again? And a Makunouchi bento contains- wait, I’m getting sidetracked.
Maybe the name was two katakana instead of kanji?
Miko, Yuri, Rika, Yumi, Mako…oh, no! In katakana, they all sound like the names hostesses use at cabaret clubs! I’m so hopeless! And now I’m thinking about The Jungle Adventures of Miko & Akemi. The way it displayed things so quickly was so impressive at the time. Come to think of it, the jungle adventure theme led me to buy El Dorado Denki, didn’t it? I just about never made it out of the first room.
Uh, oh. I’m getting sidetracked again.
Oh, right. I need to figure out what two-kanji name that ■■ is hiding.
But something about that feels wrong.
Let’s look back at my line from the past.
“Huh!? –––––. I give every challenge my very best shot, but when ■■ played against me using Ebaruto and swung her body around along with the controller, I couldn’t take my eyes off her jiggling boobs and a game over was unavoidable! So –––––”
Yes, that line.
The ■■ is in place of two kanji and it’s what I call someone I practically worship.
Then could it be a one-kanji name with an honorific attached?
“Ue-sama?”
No, that’s what you call the Shogun!! Take this seriously, me!
●
Damn, I just don’t know.
This was as far as Family Tennis was going to take me, but I had gotten a lot of hints.
Who did ■■ refer to?
I didn’t know. I only knew they were a female upperclassman and they were busty. I felt like it was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t find it.
“Dammit.”
I sat down. The courtyard looked dark through the open door. There was no sign of anyone coming here.
That meant I would have to find an answer on my own.
I belatedly realized that Kuwajiri probably could have answered it right away.
If I waited here, she would eventually return. Even if it was summer break. Maybe not today, but tomorrow or the next day. Assuming she didn’t go on a summer vacation or got so busy with her homework she forgot about this place, I would have my answer eventually.
“Then that’s good enough.”
No, no, no, it wasn’t.
But I couldn’t find the answer.
It really was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t get past that point.
It was a lot like when I was sitting on the toilet in the morning, and…
“Here it comes! Oh, yeah, it’s totally coming out now!”
I would get all fired up, but then nothing would happen. You know, when only the very tip came out.
The answer here was being just as uncooperative.
But if I decided to forfeit the game and stand up, I would be able to feel that demon deep inside my ass.
Wait, what am I saying? I can’t associate a busty girl with that morning struggle. I must be more flustered than I thought. It was like I was going for a cheap laugh. Calm down, boy. I-I’m no boy! I’m a man! Wait, that’s a cheap laugh too!
“Ahhh, I can’t stand this!”
I wanted the answer.
Who was that person?
It was like my entire being had been ruled by that ■■ for the past few minutes. Yet I didn’t even know her name or what she looked like.
Those two simple kanji behind ■■ eluded me.
“Not even Tetris has a piece that simple.”
But I couldn’t solve it.
I couldn’t.
I wanted to remember it, but the memory just wasn’t there.
“Dammit,” I cursed while roughly standing back up.
Then I noticed the shoulder bag I had brought from home.
The books had spilled out.
They were explanations and stories about the Shinto gods and a few scientific books. They had to do with…
“Terraforming.”
●
That had to be wrong.
But what about it was wrong? In fact…
“It’s right.”
You don’t know what you’re talking about. Calm down.
What about it was wrong? And how was it right?
“It’s right for the books to be here.”
Yes.
The Shinto books didn’t feel out of place when I looked at them. That meant they were right. I didn’t know what that meant, but it was okay for them to be here. I felt like I had checked them out for a good reason. Even if I didn’t know what that reason was.
But this was it.
“Terraforming.”
Wait, wait, wait. That was right too. It was. But why did it feel wrong too?
It was this, but not this. That’s how it felt.
●
“–––––––”
I opened to a random page and it felt like a simple introductory text.
All the pages were in color and it used a manga format to explain the basics of what terraforming meant and how it was done.
But this was wrong. But what about it was wrong? Um…oh, I know. That’s right, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right. I really need to stop saying “that’s right” to psyche me up when I don’t know the answer at all. Psyching me up doesn’t make me magically know the answer.
But the answer was on the tip of my tongue.
What was it? Um, this was…
“An introductory text!”
That’s right. This time I’m allowed to say that! That’s right. It was an introductory text. It gave you the information you needed before you started working on something.
Yes, that’s right. This was the answer here.
“It’s an introductory text!”
So what did it mean if that felt wrong?
“I know more than just the introductory stuff!! I’ve seen this stuff at work, so I don’t need this preliminary information!”
Yes, that’s right!!
●
Calm down.
Japan was starting on what was known as the new cultivation industry.
Terraforming would be needed to complete a project involving a move to some distant planet.
So it made sense for me to have an introductory text and there was nothing wrong with me reading it.
The new style uniform fit in there too. Those uniforms that the previous upperclassman, Kuwajiri, and I were wearing were designed for when we would eventually move out into space.
So I was saying something really weird here.
“How could I have seen terraforming at work when that’s something from the distant future?”
I had heard they were running small tests on asteroids, the moon, and Mars, so maybe that’s what it meant?
But no, that doesn’t work.
I know stuff that the introductory text doesn’t cover.
“I did have SimEarth at home, didn’t I?”
Did my memories of playing that end up as something else in my mind? But…
“–––––––”
I noticed something when I picked up the terraforming book again.
“It isn’t about the introductory text.”
There might be something else that was making this feel wrong. And that led me to realize something else.
Yes.
What could I have seen other than that?
If this felt wrong…
“I’ve read a more in-depth book.”
●
Yes, that was it.
I had read it. That was it. I had only checked out an introductory text, but I must have gotten someone else to show me a more in-depth one.
Yes, someone had taught me.
Someone had used non-introductory books to teach me about terraforming.
●
“I-I brought a book!”
“Ohh, so did I.”
“This book explains all about terraforming. It’s actually a bigger book, but–––––”
●
I remembered.
Yes, I remembered. After that, Girl Upperclassman 1 pulled something like a poster from her cleavage, shocking me and ■■.
That’s right, that’s right. That happened on site.
But who was that ■■ who had brought a useful book for me to our work site?
I couldn’t remember her name.
She was ranked above me, she was kind, she would listen to me even when she didn’t understand what I was on about, and she would stay by my side. What had I called her?
I mean, she was busty. And older than me. So what’s wrong with worshiping her? I’m sure I worshiped her like crazy.
If she had lived next door, I’m sure I would’ve prayed toward the wall 10 times a day!
But what had I called her?
“–––––––”
That was when I realized I had made a fundamental misunderstanding.
●
I was so stupid.
Why hadn’t I noticed it sooner?
I was dumb, I had no real friends, and I had never had a girlfriend, so if a busty, good looking, kind goddess of a girl was actually willing to hang around me…
“I’d never have the guts to call her by her given name or her family name.”
That settled it.
This was a girl who I naturally gave the win to when playing video games.
This was a girl who would bring me a textbook I needed on site.
This was a girl who stayed with me and cared for me.
She went to my school and was older than me, so if I wasn’t going to use her name, what would I call her?
“Senpai!”
●
It hit me.
It hit me all at once. I remembered praying toward the wall shared by our rooms, following after her up the stairs and silently bowing toward the butt visible through her skirt, and silently worshiping the boobs she rested on the table. Man that’s all getting dangerously close to crossing the line into criminality! But I can’t help it! I’m a shy boy! Don’t make me come out and say it!
Dammit.
I’m such a pathetic guy.
“Senpai!”
She was so important to me, but she had vanished from my mind.
That alone warranted punishment. But Senpai wouldn’t want to see me in pain, so I couldn’t do that! I couldn’t and I wouldn’t!
But I understood now.
“Senpai!”
Man, I’m a creep. That’s all I’ve been saying for a while now. But my memories of her come rushing back each time I do.
“Senpai!”
My voice seemed to call the memories back.
“Senpai, Senpai, Senpai!”
Do you think I could get away with saying “boobs” instead just once? Oh, who cares. But I grew happier each time I said it. It was like a magic word. Calling that name put me at ease.
But what did this mean?
My memories had been sealed off, and…
“Kuwajiri was pretending not to know me, wasn’t she?”
●
She was pushing me away.
I didn’t know why, but Senpai was probably pushing me away right now.
The Senpai who had always been by my side was gone now.
That about summed it up. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have said “always” there.
“Senpai and I were supposed to meet in the morning.”
I wasn’t sure how to describe it, but I knew that should have happened.
But it hadn’t.
That was weird.
And it led to only one conclusion.
“Senpai has left me for some reason?”
●
What was that reason? Why would Senpai leave me?
“Did I give her a reason? Impossible. I show respect to her boobs, butt, and somewhat defenseless behavior every day, every hour, and every second!”
Or was that it? Was that the problem? Yeah, that’s the answer right there.
But if that was the problem, it was a really fundamental one. It meant I would have to rethink how I engaged with her from the ground up.
In fact, could it be?
“Does Senpai hate me now?”
●
Calm down, I thought.
“Th-th-th-th-that’s right. H-h-h-h-h-how could she hate me? I’m, y’know, like a cute little animal. The type that needs lots of love or he dies. H-how could she hate me?”
What had I done wrong?
I was sweating in a very unpleasant way. Even though this room felt kind of chilly.
Actually, now I was remembering taking a bath with Senpai? At a bathhouse somewhere? She was wearing some kind of see-through swimsuit and…no, wait! I’m not ready! This is bad, I need something to record this with! Where’s my camera!!
“Oh, I bet that sort of thing was the problem!!”
Calm down.
I only had circumstantial evidence suggesting Senpai hated me.
Nothing was certain yet.
So I was still safe.
I was panicking, but I was still fine. I could turn this around. Remember that, Sumeragi Izumi. You aren’t the type to lose heart. Because losing heart is meaningless!
It’s so obvious!
The only advantages of losing heart are a reduction of future costs and the preservation of your pride, but I never consider the cost when I want to do something and I never had any pride to begin with!!
So I needed to think.
That’s right. Senpai couldn’t possibly hate me. And I had proof.
“Senpai isn’t with me anymore, but the other upperclassmen aren’t around either.”
I could abandon the theory that they had all overslept, right?
Anyway, the other upperclassmen weren’t here. Nor was Senpai.
Then where were they?
“The terraforming!”
●
I got moving.
I remembered Shifu-senpai pulling some visors from the locker when we moved from the club to the terraforming before.
But I knew now that those visors had been fake.
They had been to help the transition feel more natural to me. Because the others were all gods and could move around freely.
“Wait? Gods?”
That was quite a leap. Did that mean my memories were coming back? Or was I just saying random crap again?
No, it didn’t matter.
Because I knew what the Senpai in my memories was.
“She’s a goddess.”
That settled it. I could go with that for now. It was possible me thinking the others were gods was some kind of memory glitch, but I was fine with that. It was a trivial matter.
And I was a human.
That meant I didn’t have the power to terraform like the others did as gods, so they had used the visors to guide me in.
That meant the visors would still be in the locker.
I walked over and grabbed the handle
I opened it with a metallic creak. A slightly musty smell hit my nose as I viewed the contents of the metal box.
There were no visors inside.
“This is the locker Kuwajiri checked before, isn’t it?”
I called out into the empty air.
“Hey, it’s time to get to work.”
<Took you long enough.>
The screen sounded exasperated.
<Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised it took an evolved ape that long to figure everything out.>
Chapter 35: Tri Formation[edit]
–Are two heads better than one when they’re both idiots?
●
Balancer tilted their screen in exasperation.
<It should not have taken more than some very basic thought to figure that out, so why did it take you 12 minutes, 30 seconds, 37- actually, forget precision here.>
“You were worried about me, weren’t you!? I can see it on your face! You were worried sick about me!”
<I considered just appearing in front of you if you completely gave up. Because it seems humans love to take the easy way out. It was all part of my master plan to forever have the upper hand over you for so graciously saving your rear end.>
“Really!? Well, too bad! Now you can never have the upper hand against me! But don’t get the wrong idea here. Some famous person in the past said heaven does not create one man above or below another man, but now we know I’m above you! Toooooooooooooooo bad! I wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!”
<D-damn this stupid human!!>
“Man, you’re lucky to have me. An AI doesn’t get much opportunity to use the emotion of anger, right? So consider this a test of that function. …Anyway, what do we do now?”
<Do about what?>
“About the terraforming. They’re over there working on it, right? Take me there too.”
<Eh? That’s not possible.>
“Not possible?”
Balancer just about parroted that back again by saying “yes, not possible”, but they stopped and answered the question instead.
<I cannot currently send you to the terraforming site in reality.>
●
“Explain.”
Balancer tilted their screen in response.
<Oh, have you not checked? Try opening a Revelation Board.>
The idiot waved his hand, but nothing appeared.
“Huh?”
He swung his hand a couple more times, but again nothing.
He waved both hands at once a few times, but still nothing.
“What’s going on?”
<It was updated to a new edition. The only way to make it appear the first time is to form a heart with your hands and say ‘Appear before me, my wuvly widdle scween’.>
“Appear before me, my wuvly widdle scween!!”
<I was only kidding.>
“How dare you! How dare you!!”
<I honestly didn’t expect you to do it. You must really trust me.>
“I just want to meet Senpai! I’ll die if I don’t see her once every day!”
<A highly unscientific claim.>
But it was not a bad response, so Balancer opened a Revelation Board.
<This is the status screen for you and Senpai-san. Look here at the partner setting.>
The idiot did so and Balancer explained what it meant.
<You still have her set as your partner.>
But…
<She has deactivated the partner setting from her side.>
●
<Listen, you no longer have someone to accept your worship, so you have no divine protections or spells. Reality is a blazing hot place with no real atmosphere, so if you travel there like this, you will die instantly.>
●
What did this mean?
…Why would Senpai deactivate our partner setting?
If I didn’t know something, that just meant I had to ask. So I turned to the screen.
“Why?”
<Maybe she finally noticed your general behavior.>
“S-stop! You’re just trying to damage my adorable mind!”
<You could not be creepier, but I suppose I can tell you one thing: you should know very well why she did this.>
“Ohh,” I said.
Yeah.
I could think of something that made sense.
“It’s me.”
<Normally, I would tell someone not to beat themselves up so much, but in a broad sense, that is exactly right.>
That really was the answer. Because…
“It must have hurt Senpai a lot when I died earlier.”
<It was more like each of your deaths stacked on top of each other and that one was the last straw. You might not remember them all, but she does.>
So…
“When she couldn’t protect me and she couldn’t have her way, did she start thinking she’s only getting in everyone’s way?”
She was Iwanaga-hime.
I returned to the table and flipped through the book on Shinto gods.
“Where is she? Huh? I…I…I…”
<This idiocy is painful to watch. You want page 31.>
“I knew that! I was just flipping to that page!”
I didn’t know a screen could give such a nasty look.
Anyway, I found the page and noticed something there.
“Lifespan.”
<I honestly think Omokane could have explained it better. But I imagine that was her talking big to protect Shinto.>
Probably so. But…
“I screwed up back there too, didn’t I?”
I meant about the Druaga duo.
●
“Senpai didn’t want that busty girl to be ‘granted death’. Since she’s the god of lifespans, she probably doesn’t like it when anyone chooses death like that. But I didn’t know that, so I decided to save the busty girl since I can be rolled back.”
However…
“Senpai must not have wanted me to die. I did exactly what she had hoped to stop and I was even proud of it. But to her, I might as well have been confirming that she has no power.”
That was wrong.
“I was so full of myself I forgot to think about how Senpai would see the situation. Isn’t that right, Balancer?”
<Eh? Oh, I was doing some self-maintenance, so I didn’t catch that. It sounded like you were starting on some kind of personal poem, so I checked out. Anyway, what did you want to know?>
“What!? Oh, I get it! You just want to hear it again, don’t you!? Well, if you insist! ‘Senpai – the very sound of that word is enough to give meaning to life and death. If only-’ ”
<That’s completely different from what you said before, idiot.>
“So you were listening! You should be more honest!”
<Anyway,> said the screen. <You should say all this to her. Saying it to me only diminishes it.>
I agreed 100%.
●
“Okay, I can’t go there, but what’s happening there? Are they all terraforming?”
<No, they have run into a bit of a problem.>
“C’mon, you’re exaggerating.”
<No,> said Balancer again. <With you gone, Senpai-san has automatically been eliminated from the process.>
“What do you mean?”
<Her divine protections can no longer defend the terraforming site, so that planet’s local spirits, such as the fire dragons, have begun to destroy it.>
“Then why isn’t everyone here?”
<They are fighting back. They were the outsourced fighting force for just that purpose, after all. But without a leader, they are gradually losing. In the worst case, all progress could be lost, Senpai-san could be removed from this duty, and she could be reverted to a virtual manifestation.>
“We can’t let that happen! But, um, what is Senpai doing?”
<She has apparently hidden inside that stone hut and is not responding. If I speculated why she is doing so, it might ensure that is in fact the reason, so please do not ask.>
“Wow,” I said. “I can’t believe this.”
That meant Senpai had given up.
●
Whenever I had died, she had trusted in me and tried again.
She trusted that she could eventually do it right once she was stronger.
But I got so full of myself I ruined all that.
And she wasn’t able to stop me or protect me.
So she probably decided to give up on it all.
●
“I’m going.”
I had made up my mind.
“I’m going there. To talk with Senpai and try it all again.”
<Can you do that?>
“Course I can! We had a misunderstanding, but only cause I was full of myself! If I had actually talked with her and seen things for what they really were, that wouldn’t have happened! Yes, she couldn’t protect me, but only cause she doesn’t have enough power yet! If her level was higher, she could’ve stopped me and protected me. That means our problem is a solvable one! The rest is about our feelings. I’ll apologize to her and tell her I want to be with her! It all has to start with that! And if she demands anything else of me, I’ll gladly offer up anything, even my body!”
<Pretty sure no one wants that.>
“Heyyyyyyyyy! It’s not like I have anything else to offer! I’ve got a little over 100,000 yen left over, but she’d never forgive me for such a paltry sum!”
<Fair point,> replied Balancer while gently lowering their screen a few times. That was apparently meant to be nodding. <I agree with you. If Senpai-san abandons her duties and is reverted to a virtual manifestation, the DC will have reason to send another inspector. I am sure she is aware of that.>
Balancer paused as if for a breath.
<But apparently this ape is just that important to her.>
“Heh hehhhh! Jealous!? Jealous!?”
But there was a problem.
“How do I keep myself from sizzling away into nothingness as soon as I arrive?”
<You can receive another god’s divine protection.>
“Hm?” I asked. The screen’s explanation sounded pretty dangerous to me. “Are you asking me to worship someone else? Cause that ain’t happening. First of all, I only worship big boobs. Second of all, even that’s limited to Senpai. I can’t worship anyone else. So what am I supposed to do?”
<That is why you will ask a god to use the one-way partner system.>
●
“One-way what what?”
<Even I am shocked to find you are too stupid to figure this out, but that is a system that allows the god to activate the partner setting and provide you with their authority without you doing anything in return.>
“That’s a thing?”
<It is. The authority belongs to the god, so as long as they approve of it, they can provide you the authority, no worship necessary. It helps if you worship them, of course, and that is why your approval is needed even if you are not making them your partner. Still, this should still give you enough of a divine protection to survive in reality.>
And…
<You must reconcile with Senpai-san and reestablish the partner system with her. And you must preserve the terraforming site. If you can do that, this can be written off as the standard trouble that always occurs during group projects.>
“So now I just have to search out a god that can instantly grant me a divine protection that lets me survive there.”
<That could be tricky,> said Balancer. <For a god to do that, they must be looking at you and you alone. No gods in this world currently have any believers, but once they do, the fact that they once personally gave you a divine protection will mean they were not fully focused on their believers. They would probably want to avoid that.>
“Man, what a pain.”
<Indeed. But gods always have to focus on their believers first and foremost, so they need to be careful about such things. We will have to search out a god without such restrictions, but I am not sure where we will find one.>
“You want a god who plays fast and loose with the rules? Well, you’re looking at one.”
●
“Good morning. The mornings here are a nice combination of cool and humid.”
I turned toward the voice I heard.
“Mucho!! It was you!?”
“My name is Eshita Inana! Or Eshtar if you want to be more precise!!”
●
“I can’t stand this human.”
<Tell me about it. Feel free to insult him all you want.>
Eshita leaned against the doorframe while munching on the Grilled Beef flavor chips that were her breakfast.
Her diagonally-angled view showed her the human idiot and Balancer.
“Human, I owe you one after last night. I’m going to pay you back for that now, so accept my authority.”
She took a breath.
“Or do I need to do this as a DC inspector? I will be intervening as an inspector to prevent any further delays in the Shinto terraforming. You aren’t going to defy me now, are you?”
●
“Well, isn’t this something.”
Scarecrow watched Omokane sit on the railing between the library and the counter.
“I went and hid to dodge responsibility, but this has not progressed the way I expected.”
“It really hasn’t,” said someone other than Scarecrow.
It was Shamhat who was looking at so many books she had to use a cart.
She wore her casual clothing and had just pulled a large book from the world history section.
“I wasn’t sure what we were going to do when you called me in this morning and told me Iwanaga had gone missing.”
“What are your thoughts?”
“That you contacting me really makes me feel like I’m part of Shinto now.”
“Yes,” said Omokane. “I had a feeling I could rope you into this if I called you in now.”
“Omokane-san.”
It turned out you could start glaring at someone without trying to.
But Shamhat smiled a little, as if to say this was not a bad thing.
“Anyway, I can at least act as an ambassador. My superiors always have a high opinion of me. Because I am tightlipped and I don’t act on my own judgment very often.”
“I appreciate that. Especially the part about not acting on your own judgment. Because if I can cajole you over to our side, then you’re mine.”
But anyway…
“We were right to say the library was closed today. It would have been a problem had Sumeragi-kouhai come in here.”
“But he seems to have his memory back already. How did that happen?”
“It was Douhai-kun who asked to have his memories erased. But since they are back, they must have been sealed rather than erased. But sealing them may have been all that was possible, so I can’t take issue with that.”
“Why didn’t you stop her when she said to erase his memories? None of this trouble would have happened if you had used your authority to step in.”
“Stop her? Why would I do that? Shinto’s terraforming work is still progressing smoothly and without issue. Don’t you agree?”
“Yatsui.”
Scarecrow felt the need to speak up here.
“You need to be aware that your provocations last night are part of what led to this. The Heavenly Gods might transcend the people living in the Divine States, but there are a lot of people from other countries here.”
“Which is why we need someone like me to act as a lightning rod for people’s frustrations.”
She laughed.
“And let me tell you, I love my position, that part very much included.”
“You are not a pleasant person.”
“Person? I am a god.”
“We call this the Divine World, but it’s modeled after the human world in the ’90s. If you live there, it seems fair to call you a person. And based on what I saw last night, Eshtar is already letting the place influence her.”
She held up the world history book.
It was part of a series that introduced people to world history with a manga format.
“Look, even I’m starting to wonder if this might be the quickest way to teach people about my Bil and Ki.”
“You talk you’re they’re mom.”
“The world is always changing and prostitutes are like a parent to all. We need to welcome people with open arms when they’re confused by or mistaken about how the world has changed.”
“Omokane-san could really stand to learn a thing or two from you.”
“So you’re saying I should charge money for my services?”
“That is not what I meant.”
What were they supposed to do with her? But…
“How much of what happened with that boy did you set up in advance?”
●
“Well,” said Omokane. “My reaction last night was legitimate. And I did not ask to have him turned into a her.”
“That was set up by Kunugi-san and the other 5th generations here. They probably received word that the inspector and you three were coming. It seems to have been a way to prevent you all from searching him out or encountering him in a negative way.”
“A sex change is something I knew was possible but never considered as a possibility here. That rollback system really came in handy, huh? But…”
But…
“The dump truck that hit him was from an Olympus company, but we don’t know who actually did it. We probably never will. …I have a pretty good guess, though.”
“Who? Or which mythology?”
“If I said it out loud, my words would reach them. That’s just how gods like us work. So you’ll have to wait until it comes down to a direct confrontation. …Anyway, the point of it was to force us to do a rollback, so they aren’t a direct enemy. If they did think they were actually killing him and weren’t aware of the rollback system, then we would be dealing with a mythology full of divine hoodlums or something.”
For now, she had to say this.
“We need to watch over the rollback process more carefully from now on. I am sure Kunugi-kun arranged for that because the entire process was being pushed through in a hurry, but we need to thank him and come to a consensus on how to do things going forward.”
“I received a Revelation Board message from Kido-san about this.”
“Yes, Kido-kun absolutely adores Sumeragi-kouhai, doesn’t she? Was she out having fun around Kurashiki right now? She’ll probably get dragged in with his hangers-on once she returns, so that should be amusing.”
But anyway…
“How are things going at the terraforming site?”
“It seems Sumeragi-kun just made his entrance. You should be glad, Omokane-san.”
“Because his concern for his partner led him to break through his memory seal and return to the site?”
“That too, but remember when he showed up here shortly after we arrived this morning?”
Scarecrow sighed.
“If he had taken a dump in front of the door, I would have ordered you to clean it up since you’re in charge here. See, you really should be glad.”
So that’s the game we’re playing here, thought Omokane before hearing Shamhat speak from behind her.
“Not to worry. Some people are into that. It’s a pricey option, though.”
And that is most definitely not the game we are playing here.
●
“Hell, yeah! I’m back, terraforming!”
I raised my voice as soon as I saw the black and red expanse in front of me.
A 300m piece of black rock land was surrounded by a sea of lava.
The sky was mostly covered by dark clouds, but I could see the stars through the gaps.
No, that was what I should have seen. Instead…
<The lava appears to be winning.>
The screen made it sound like a casual observation, but it was true.
There were flame dragons.
I couldn’t tell how long they were in all, but they were huge. Just the head and upper neck sticking out of the lava were nearly 3m long. The serpentine dragons were seemingly made of scarlet light and they were trying to destroy the land.
They were crashing against it, breathing fire, and smashing the rock between their jaws.
I heard the sounds of a continuous clash and deep impacts. Also…
“…!”
When they breathed fire, they would also roar and that roar created an explosive blast that split the land.
But they were being opposed by another force: the upperclassmen.
“–––!”
“…!”
They seemed to be discussing something as they fought and I saw a few other people there as well.
But there weren’t enough of them. Looking at the overall balance, destruction had the upper hand.
And…
“I’ve never been to one of these sites before. Is it always like this?”
“What!? Of course not, Mucho! This is normally where Senpai and I share our love! It’s a world of oh-so-sweet rocks, lava, and scorching wind! How should I put it? This just shows how hot-hot-hot our passion for each other is! How was that not obvious!?”
“In what world would that be obvious!?”
<Just so you know, Eshtar, a lot of that exists only in the ape’s fantasies, so don’t take it too seriously. He has not done anywhere near as much as he lets on.>
“Hey! Let me dream!”
“Sure, you can dream, but don’t blame us when that dream never comes true. Anyway, what were you planning to do now?”
That was obvious.
The stone hut Senpai had created was right in front of me.
“I convince Senpai to come on out of there.”
<I never imagined we would be more-or-less recreating Ama-no-Iwato at this stage.>
I had to agree. Before coming here, I had read the Shinto books I had checked out from the library.
I felt like I had learned a lot, even if I had only really skimmed through a few books.
“Then how should I go about this?”
<You spelled it out pretty well yourself. Senpai-san still has authority over this land and the terraforming done here, but she has removed her divine protections, which means it will be destroyed at this rate. You need to convince her to restore the divine protections.>
“So I just do what I wanted to do anyway! What about you, Mucho!?”
“I said I was paying you back because I owed you one, remember? I’m here as the inspector, so all I can do is provide you with the divine protections you need to survive here. You need to solve the problem yourself.”
That made sense to me.
After all, this place belonged to Senpai and me. So…
“Thanks, Mucho. I’m off to convince Senpai!”
●
Raidou saw the idiot doing some warmup exercises in front of the stone hut.
“There you are, Sumeragi! What took you so long!?”
“Senpai-chan’s gone full shut-in, so you’ve gotta drag her outta there!”
“Okay, you can count on me!”
The instant he said that, a flame dragon dove in from way up in the air and crushed the idiot in a self-destruct attack.
It was rollback time already.
Interlude[edit]
“Wait, what?”
“It’s like when you crash into an enemy the instant you start playing a game.”
Chapter 36: Lemmings[edit]
–I think humans die too much.
●
I learned that Sumeragi-kun had come here.
“Ehh!? How!?”
I quickly checked my Revelation Board and saw he was still requesting to be my partner. That meant he had not become partners with someone else.
“Thank goodness.”
Wait, no. This wasn’t good. I was going to forcibly end things here and return to a virtual manifestation.
If I went through the proper channels, Omokane-san and the others might stop me, so I had to let someone else forcibly end it for me.
I was using the flame dragons, this planet’s spirits, for that.
I felt bad for the others working so hard outside, but I really wished they would just leave already. And I couldn’t let Sumeragi-kun inside this stone hut, so…
“It’s too dangerous here, Sumeragi-kun!”
His reading vanished from the Revelation Board and the word “rollback” appeared in its place.
“Hmmmm!?”
●
Oh? thought Eshita.
A flame dragon dropped down from above and crashed against the ground in front of her.
It had to have been around 100m long. Well, you can think of it as a flame spirit of that size.
She concluded those things were pretty smart for not using a lava vessel. They must have understood that using lave would have turned their remains into reinforcing materials for this land once they self-destructed.
So they came as pure fire.
This could be trouble, she thought while looking ahead to the stone hut.
“Oh?”
Something was not right.
Hadn’t there been something else between her and the stone hut? Something felt extremely off to her, but when she did not understand something, she would simply ask a cleverer god who could actually answer her questions.
“Hey, wasn’t there something here?”
In the distance, Enkidu tilted her head while using a freezing Auth Spell.
“Wasn’t the human there?”
“The human?”
Then it came back to her.
“Oh, yeah! The human!”
Several more things came back to her too.
“Humans die when a flame dragon hits them, don’t they!? How silly of me to forget! It’s been so long it completely slipped my mind!”
Everyone stopped fighting to glare at her.
Eventually, Shifu tilted her head and raised a hand.
“Eshita-chaaan? Why did you even bother showing up?”
“W-wait, wait, wait, wait! I did my job!”
“I can’t believe you.”
She could tell they were criticizing her in some way, so she denied all responsibility.
“It’s not my fault!”
●
What exactly had happened was unclear from within the stone hut.
“U-um, what was that?”
The rollback popup had disappeared.
Sumeragi-kun was dead.
But I wasn’t sure when it had happened.
Did he really not have any divine protections when he came here? If he could last a little bit before dying, that is about when it would have happened.
Or was he caught up in the fighting out there? But either way…
“I-it’s my fault, isn’t it?”
I hated that I couldn’t confirm anything from here. But what did it matter that I hated it?
I was here because I wanted to forcibly eliminate myself so I could return to the virtual manifestation world.
But…
…I’m so worried about Sumeragi-kun.
Was he going to do more weird things?
Was he going to rush into danger without thinking, shout weird things while rushing out into traffic, or provoke someone more than was wise?
I was so very worried.
But come to think of it…
“I’m being a real pain in the butt, aren’t I!?”
That realization was followed by a shout from outside the stone hut.
“Senpai-chaaan! Can you hear me!?”
●
Have the gods degenerated? wondered Balancer.
The very structure of the stone hut was a divine barrier that kept external sound out. Divine transmissions could get through, but that was meaningless if the recipient refused to accept the call. So instead…
<A tin can telephone?>
“No, no, no. It’s a direct megaphone connection.”
The megaphone was made out of Balancer.
The malleability of the screen was used to role them up into a tube that was pressed against the rock wall.
The Balancer-megaphone localized the voice, converted that portion of the wall into a diaphragm, and allowed the voice through to the other side.
The stone hut created a soundproofing barrier, but what if the hut itself was producing the sound? The megaphone was meant to try out that idea.
<Do you think it is working?>
“Maybe I should send her a message afterwards. But anyway.”
Shifu resumed shouting through the Balancer-megaphone.
“Senpai-chaaan! No matter what happens to Sumeragi-chan, it isn’t your fault!”
●
“Eh!? Then are you saying it’s my fault!? Surely not! Right!?”
“You only feel the need to say that because you feel responsible.”
“Eshtar, you talk big, but you’re actually pretty pathetic.”
“It’s called gap moe! And it means I’m cute! Get it straight!!”
●
“Listen, Senpai-chan! Anything Sumeragi-chan does is his decision! So it isn’t your fault! I mean, this is about his faith! And faith isn’t about asking for something in return!”
So…
“You can be proud of the effort he goes to! Because that shows just how valuable you are as a god!”
Oh, and one more thing.
“If you do need to blame someone, you can always blame Eshita-chan!”
●
Oh, I thought.
“I can’t believe Shifu-san is being so nice after everything I’ve done.”
I had a hard time accepting what she was saying. If it was that easy for me, I wouldn’t have felt the need to come here.
But I did very much agree with one thing she had said.
“I-I definitely agree that this is Eshita-chan’s fault!!”
●
“Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Don’t make it sound like I’m picking a fight with a god who can pull off a Cancel Lifespan one-hit kill!”
“I mean, you came here as an inspector, remember?”
“I wonder if she’d come out if you prostrated yourself in front of that stone hut and apologized.”
“Th-this isn’t my fault! And inspectors don’t apologize!”
“We’re gonna be here a while, aren’t we?”
“Quit chatting and help! These flame dragons won’t leave us alone!”
●
“Hm, does this mean responsibility for this whole affair lies with Eshita-kun? I see. That would mean no responsibility for me.”
Then…
“Then I need to send a complaint to the Mesopotamians. Eshita-kun’s outrageous behavior has caused us nothing but trouble! Oh, yes! So much trouble! Why would you do that to us, Eshita-kun!?”
“Yatsui! Wait! Wait! Sit right there! Hurry!”
“Is Omokane-senpai just trying to see how much she can get away with now?
●
Kuwajiri was irritated beyond belief.
She was back in her own room on the second floor of an apartment-style student dorm to the west of the Tachikawa city hall. She used the dining room as a work room.
Raidou and Shifu lived on the first floor and a lot of the Norse group lived nearby.
She knew a lot of people here and she could usually hear other people around at this time.
But it was quiet today. Because…
“Norse mythology’s summers are short.”
But Japan’s summers were long, so most of the Norse group were on trips to enjoy the divine world’s summer. However…
“I was hoping to complete the homework that was piling up thanks to work.”
Seeing Sumeragi in front of the club room had been bad. What had been bad about it? Her luck had been. She had always had bad luck even in the age of mythology. Her luck was devastatingly bad.
Today was just more of the same there.
Senpai-san was in trouble, but since Kuwajiri was not a physical fighter, there was nothing for her to do there. That was why she had decided to check on things at the club room and then do her homework.
For some inexplicable reason, the idiot had been there.
And for some even more inexplicable reason, she had decided to accommodate him.
“I might as well have been giving myself more work to do.
And sure enough, another job had arrived for her.
<Um, uh, Kuwajiri?>
She ignored the screen.
She wanted to get her homework done. What’s this about a scenic painting? Using watercolors? I’ve heard of those, but how do you actually paint with them? she wondered while opening her sketchbook.
<Um, Kuwajiri? Do you have a moment?>
She continued to ignore the screen. However…
“Kuwajiri-chaaan?”
“Yes, what is it?”
“How’s Sumeragi-chan’s rollback coming along?”
“I really don’t want to think about that, so can I go to Showa Memorial Park to do my summer homework?”
“Hmm, I’d really prefer if you focused a bit – just a bit – more on this.”
Kuwajiri was still unsure what she should do here.
“Hey, Kuwajiri. I’ve finished the body and shoved in the soul, so you input all the data.”
She did not have much of a choice now. She was one step in the assembly-line-like process, so…
“Understood. Give me 10 minutes. I’ll input the template data.”
●
“Hey, everyone! Can you wait 10 minutes!? Kuwajiri-chan is finishing up Sumeragi-chan.”
Everyone responded to Shifu with battle cries.
“Just 10 minutes!?”
“If that’s all, I can fight at full strength without issue!”
“And I won’t have to hold any of my Auth Spells in reserve!”
“Yeah. I shoulllld be able to manage.”
'Good,' thought Shifu.
Now they just had to put in the effort.
<Excuse me, Shifu? Even if the ape is rolled back, he still has to wake up in bed and learn about the current situation.>
“…”
<Shifu! Shifu! Don’t just avert your gaze and ignore me!>
Yeah, but what else can I do?
●
I awoke with a start.
I felt like I just had an awful dream. Or rather…
“I died!!”
I had a feeling I had died the instant I stepped up onto the stage. But anyway, I caught my breath while just sitting in bed in a T-shirt and boxers with the morning sun shining in on me.
I checked the digital clock on the same shelf as the TV next to the bed and saw it was 11:32 of 8/5/1990. I liked how the time and date matched…wait, those don’t match at all!
Why did I think they did for a second? There must be something wrong with me today.
But that aside…
“Is this what it was??”
A screen had fallen onto the bed.
“A screen?”
<…>
Yeah.
That’s a screen all right.
But what is it for? I wondered while picking it up.
<Good morning, ape. The usual process is such a pain that I decided to show up first thing, but that meant I had to lie in bed alongside you. Doing the things yesterday’s AIs never wanted to do proves just how excellent I am.>
“Woahhhhhh!! What’s with this screen!? It talked!”
<Shut up. I am about to explain the current situation, so get to remembering what you need to remember!>
●
Raidou checked the stopwatch on his Revelation Board.
The passage of time was hard to judge on a planet that did not rotate and barely had any land or a sky, so he was watching the numbers there while eliminating the flame dragons.
“It’s been 12 minutes!”
<Sorry about that. The idiot got a little overexcited when I revealed that a busty goddess lives next door to him.>
“Has he remembered Senpai-chan?”
<Yes, he did just now. And this is a pain, so I think it is time to send him in and have him remember the rest on-site.>
This divine transmission was reaching the others too.
Raidou looked over to see Eshita raising her hand from in front of the stone hut.
“I’m ready whenever!”
He was worried about that, but an inspector outranked them. Hopefully it was fine.
But he did decide to ask.
“Hey! Are you sure you’ve got this!?”
“Huh!? You saw the human surviving here just fine before, right!? I don’t make mistakes!”
There were no flame dragons in the area or in the sky above.
I guess it is fine, thought Raidou just as something appeared.
They were Revelation Boards.
Several of them appeared near Eshita and they gradually formed a humanoid shape.
Sumeragi was being summoned here.
“He’s finally here!”
“…”
Kidou’s silence seemed odd to Raidou.
“Hey, Kidou, did you have a question?”
“Not really. I was just wondering something is all.”
She cast a freezing Auth Spell to solidify a portion of the lava sea.
“Do Eshtar’s divine protections remain in effect after he rolls back?”
That was exactly when Sumeragi actually appeared. And…
“Hell yeah!! It’s blazing hot and I can’t breeeeeeeathe!!”
He burst into ether light and vanished.
●
Shifu looked down at her Revelation Board.
She could track some objective data on Sumeragi-chan, although not as much as Senpai-chan could. And his current state was listed as…
“Rollback?”
●
Meanwhile, Eshita was meaninglessly raising a hand in front of the stone hut.
“…”
She had meant to say something once the human arrived, but…
<Um, Eshtar? When the idiot is rolled back, any externally-applied settings are reset. So, um.>
Um…
<This is a unique case, so I have determined it would be best if you returned to the Divine World and applied your divine protections on the idiot there.>
She nodded repeatedly at Balancer’s suggestion.
They knew what the problem was. This was a unique case, so she could not be blamed for getting it wrong. And yet…
“Really?”
“I knew it.”
“I thought you said you were ready.”
“Wow, what am I supposed to tell Kuwajiri-chan this time?”
They all glared at her.
“W-wait! This wasn’t my fault!”
●
“Kuwajiri-chaaan?”
Kuwajiri sucked in a deep breath when Shifu’s questioning voice reached her.
…Nhhhhh!
She had more work to do.
Or rather, her previous work had been for nothing.
No, it wasn’t for nothing. Don’t insult your own work like that, Kuwajiri Tsubomi. You need to keep a positive outlook. This was only…
“An unfortunate accident.”
Yes. She could not be mad about that. Shifu was a victim here too.
Then whose fault was it?
Eshtar…well, no one was going to call her bright, but this had been an unprecedented situation. You could not blame her for not being ready.
Senpai-san was the overall cause of this entire situation, but she had not been directly involved in this particular mistake. Besides, Kuwajiri herself had been worried about the stress Senpai-san was under. She would be lying if she said she understood what Senpai-san was doing, but she wanted to understand.
Then what was the fundamental cause of this?
“How frail that idiot is.”
If humanity was not so frail, she would have so much less work to do. Or to put it another way…
“If I were the Demon King in a game or novel, I’d wipe humanity out day one on the job.”
●
<How did it go? Is Kuwajiri mad?>
“Yeah. Absolutely livid.”
“Eh? What’d she say?”
“Well, uh, something about wiping out humanity?”
“Yeah, eeeeveryone should do that at leeeast once. It makes for a fun storrrry at parties.”
“You hate your believers, don’t you? Don’t you?”
“Wait! If she wipes out humanity, there won’t be any more Karamucho or grilled beef flavored chips! If you’re gonna destroy the world, you need to preserve Calbee and Koikeya!”
“You need Yamayoshi on that list if you want Wasabeef to survive.”
“Shouldn’t Eshtar get back to the divine world soon?”
●
Kuwajiri walked to her kitchen which was lit only by natural light. She opened the fridge, crouched to look inside, and tried to think.
She was irritated at having to redo some work due to no fault of her own, but was that feeling a waste of time, or was it the correct reaction?
No, this was not the time to decide whether it was correct or not.
She grabbed a 350mL can from the drink holder. It had a male silhouette drawn in light blue.
“Post Water.”
She opened the can and drank the contents.
She actually liked its oddly light and frankly insufficient flavor. Was that because her life here had been full of so many strong flavors? No, she had seasoned everything with lots of salt and fish sauce back home too. And she liked strong alcoholic drinks. She had always been in dire need of some lighter flavors.
She took a breath.
Everything around her had been so strongly flavored since her real manifestation.
As a wisdom god, it felt like she was gaining new experiences with very little new wisdom to go with it, which was extremely exhausting. Her upperclassmen were enjoying it, but she honestly felt pushed around by everyone else. None of them were bad people – they just didn’t mesh well with her.
But she knew why she was thinking about all this.
“I want to fit in better, don’t I?”
What was she to this world?
Was she a strong or a light flavor?
“This is silly.”
She was feeling refreshed now. That was the power of Post Water.
She took another breath, stood up, and walked toward the dining room desk.
She had a rollback to complete.
So for the first step…
“Kunugi-senpai, are you ready?”
●
“Huh? Kuwajiri? What’s this? Do we really have another rollback already?”
“I didn’t want to believe it either, but yes. Please produce one of the base data entities.”
“Sure, I created a spare just now, but this could be bad.”
“Hm? Did you make some kind of mistake?”
“Just as I decided to create the spare, Keito stopped by after pulling an all-nighter, so we decided to create it together.”
“Oh, yeah. Keito-senpai was the one that made Sumeragi’s female version.”
“Right. That’s why I accepted the offer to help. Anyway, we just finished combining our two parts a bit ago.”
“Then can you send that on over?”
“Yeah, that’s the thing…”
“What is it?”
“I made my part compressed down to 1/12 size like I always do, but Keito did it at 1/6 size.”
“What does that mean?”
“We only noticed after combining the parts, but…Sumeragi, was it? His dick was made a 1/6 while the rest is 1/12, so its twice the size it should be. And now Keito won’t stop rolling on the floor laughing. You know how people get after an all-nighter.”
“Kunugi-senpai.”
“Y-yeah?”
“Immediately incinerate the double-sized one and then send me the other spare one. You know the spare I mean, right?”
●
Shifu heard some kind of chime go off.
She looked over to see several summoning Revelation Boards rapidly forming a humanoid shape.
“Ohh, Sumeragi-chan is here.”
“Wait, I thought they couldn’t send him over right away because they made him double-sized.”
Sumeragi-chan appeared where the boards had been.
“Hellooooo!! I’m a girl agaiiiiiiiin!”
●
So that’s what they did, thought Shifu. But…
“Huh?”
Sumeragi-chan’s position was off.
The rest of them were in front of the stone hut. That was where Sumeragi-chan had been summoned twice in a row already.
But she appeared elsewhere this time. She was on the far southeast end from them.
That was about 150m away from the stone hut.
Shifu was wondering why that would happen when En-chan suggested an answer.
“Could his summoning point be based on Eshtar?”
“Oh, yeah! Since Eshita-chan isn’t here to give him a summoning location, his summoning defaulted to a random respawn!”
With that mystery solved, she turned back toward Sumeragi-chan only to see a flame dragon sticking out of the lava and a humanoid cluster of ether light scattering away.
Uh, oh.
“Ahhhh! Sumeragi-chaaaaaaan!?”
“That was fast!! Wish he’d give us more of a chance to react!”
Shifu very much agreed, but that was not an actual solution.
●
Kuwajiri stretched in her chair.
“There! A job well done!”
She was glad Kunugi really did still have a spare version of female Sumeragi. It was always worth asking.
She finished off her can of Post Water and then slammed the empty can down on her desk.
“Okay!”
She had completed the task given to her by Shifu and her other superiors.
A third rollback request in one day when she had done nothing wrong sounded like a sick joke, but she had managed to get the job done without voicing her complaints.
She had done well.
An excellent job if I say so myself.
I deserve some self-praise for that one. Yes, good job, Kuwajiri Tsubomi. You’re such a good wisdom god.
“I need to eat some meat today!”
She had had some yesterday too, but she would buy her own today. A thick slice. Around 450g would be perfect. And she could fry it up in a frying pan filled with grease. Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
I’ve done a full day’s worth of work and it’s only midday!
She would have meat for dinner.
She also wanted to stop by Will to buy some bread. And one other thing.
“Do I have any beer left?”
The stores had started selling dark beer recently. As a Norse god, she had been all over that and she thought she still had some stocked up in her fridge, but she also wondered if she had finished it all off.
“I’d better go check.”
She felt weirdly excited about it, but that was fine. The day could only go up from here.
●
“Oh, no. Who’s going to tell Kuwajiri-chan she has to do another rollback?”
Shifu looked around and they all held out their palms in a “you do the honors” way.
I had a feeling, she thought. It looked like she had to do this. But…
“Tooru.”
“I’ll go clothes shopping with you sometime soon.”
“I’m gonna need more than that.”
“Hm. How about I do anything you ask for a whole day?”
“Okay, now we’re talking. Let’s go with that. But…”
She made a suggestion.
“Is there any way to make sure that doesn’t happen again?”
●
Kidou raised her hand because she had been wondering about something here.
“I don’t understand everything about this since things were already like this when Balancer brought Bil and me here, but can’t that monotheistic god fix this with his absurdities?”
“I allllready aaaam doing that.”
Shifu raised her hand in response.
“He made a meteor strike on the other side of the planet before you two arrived. Took a 4km one and – boom! – dropped it right onto the planet.”
“Why?”
“That creates a huge crater and the planet’s primitive spirits have to work at fixing and acclimating to that, right? That leaves less of them to attack here.”
“I’ve allllso set up a barrier around 2/3 of this hemispherrrre to keep out all the biiiig ones. Although maintaining a solid barrier is exhaaaausting, so it’s more like a net.”
In other words, they only had to fight the 100m flame dragons right now because the monotheistic god was restricting the planet.
“That is wild.”
“That’s just how Yomoji-chan is.”
Shifu raised her hand
“I know it sounds violent, but could Bilgamesh there use his White Sword thing to slice the stone hut open?”
“I kind of love how you Norse gods will suggest any old idea that comes to mind.”
But that was a question for Bil himself, so Kidou turned his way and he nodded.
“To be honest, the size of the attack means it has a margin of error of about 3m.”
“That’s a big margin, but does it not matter thanks to the shockwave?”
“Exactly. I can increase its drawing speed when I use my Gauntlet with it, but even at normal speed, it’s fast enough to produce a shockwave. I could destroy the stone hut, but I can’t guarantee the safety of the goddess within.”
“Also.” Kidou raised her hand. “I honestly don’t want to earn her resentment over some minor mistake.”
“Yeah, you two already have a lifespan since you’re half-god, half-human, so you wouldn’t want to get that shortened any.”
“That’s it, yeah.”
Then everyone turned toward Shifu.
“Calling her is your job.”
“Do I really have to do it?”
●
Kuwajiri sat in front of the opened fridge and opened a can.
That was her final can of beer in the fridge, but she could always buy a new case while out shopping for meat. And if she was going to eat meat for dinner, she might as well go on a solo drinking binge afterwards.
That was fun every so often.
And after enjoying her free time like that, she could ask Shifu or someone how things had turned out today. But…
“Hey, Kuwajiri-chan? You got a moment?”
“Huh? What do you want, Shifu-senpai?”
“Well, um, what are you doing right now?”
“I was just opening a can of beer to signal the end of a long day full of too much work.”
●
“Oh, wow. That is a lot of pressure I’m feeling now.”
“I’m rooting for you, okay? Not that it helps any.”
●
Kuwajiri checked how much yogurt and cheese she had left while asking a question through her Revelation Board.
“What’s this about? Are you done with Sumeragi?”
“Yeah, about that…”
“Yes?”
A cheese sandwich might be good, thought Kuwajiri while the words entered her ears.
“Sumeragi-chan died again, so could you handle the rollback?”
●
Since when can a wisdom god like me smash a Revelation Board with such a quick jab?
●
“Oh, no. She’s rejecting my calls.”
<I-is she doing it?>
“How about you go ask her yourself? She’ll probably smash you on sight.”
●
Kuwajiri opened her fridge again and stuck her head inside.
She needed to cool down. Badly. But she felt shutting down that conversation had been the right call. Who knows what she would have said to Shifu otherwise.
“…”
A quiet curse escaped her throat.
Then a frozen pack of hamburger steaks fell on her head. It was a 6-pack of mini hamburger steaks from Nichirei. She grabbed that, a package of creamy corn croquettes, and a bag of fried chicken.
She dumped them all on a plate sitting in the sink and shoved that in the microwave.
At 600W, that would be…ugh, what a pain. 5 minutes should do.
She opened the fridge, pulled out some yakiniku sauce and Worcestershire sauce and gave the storage area below the sink a nice hard kick.
It made a nice sound.
Afraid that had been a mistake, she checked to make sure she had not split a toenail, but she had not. And for now…
“5 minutes!”
After 5 minutes passed, she would have a plate full of hamburger steaks, croquettes, and fried chicken.
Once she had eaten all that and finished that final beer, she would forgive the others for everything.
Yes. Eating could put you in a better mood.
This was the mature thing to do. Even if I am only in the second year of high school. But as she watched the microwave work…
“No, I should have known the creamy corn croquettes would burst!”
But it was all still spinning inside the microwave, so there was nothing she could do.
●
They were discussing how they could calm Kuwajiri’s anger. Yomoji was keeping the flame dragons away for the time being, so Shifu asked the others for their opinions.
“The problem is that Sumeragi is making random respawns, right?”
“Should we spread out over as much of the area as we can?”
“But what do we do once we have him? Make a mad dash toward the stone hut?”
“If it was just me and Bil, Bil could grab him and I could use Call Bil in front of the stone hut.”
“That won’t work this time. …Could we have Eshtar come here?”
<That would be a solution.>
“Huh!? I’m an inspector! Which means I’m important!” said Eshtar via divine transmission. “You don’t get to order me back and forth all the time! My job is done when I give him my divine protections!”
“Hmm, but if you don’t come here, we’ll just have to redo it again.”
Then a Revelation Board appeared next to Shifu.
Who’s that from? As soon as she saw the answer, she quickly raised her index finger toward the others.
“Shh! It’s Kuwajiri-chan!”
For some reason, they all ducked down when she said that. I see the Druaga duo is already playing along with our nonsense, she thought, but maybe they were just that infectious. And…
“Hi, Kuwajiri-chan? How’re things going?”
●
Shifu heard the response.
“Have you already told Kunugi-senpai?”
“Yeah, we’ve already arranged everything with him!”
Balancer quickly shook their screen in a nod and she gave him an OK sign.
“Yeah! Kunugi-chan’s all done! He says things are ready to go!”
How long has it been since I told such a blatant lie? I so hope Kunugi-chan really is ready.
●
“Hey! I can only work so fast! Or what? Did you want a Sumeragi with a chicken face? We can have some fun with it every once in a while, right!?”
<Enough jokes! Just hurry! This is a matter of trust!>
●
Kuwajiri sighed. Once back at her desk, she found that Kunugi really had sent over a base data entity. Now she only had to arrange some minor adjustments from some other gods and do her part.
“…”
It all felt like such a pain in the rear. She was so sick of this. That was a dangerous sign when working and it could influence the quality of the finished product, so she wanted to avoid this if she could. So…
“Shifu-senpai, a question.”
“What is it?”
“Organizing the idiot’s memories is a ton of work, so I’m going to skip that step. Balancer acts as his teacher after he wakes up, right? Then Balancer can deal with it.”
“Sure, sure! That’s fine! Great work, Kuwajiri-chan!”
She was not done yet, but she did finally realize Shifu was trying to be considerate.
I need to pay more attention, she thought while finishing up the work.
She took a breath, and…
“Shifu-senpai, I just uploaded him.”
And…
“Sorry for being in such a bad mood. I’ll try to be a better team player in the future.”
“No, no. It’s perfectly fine. We can deal with some of that and we really did drop the ball this time.”
“Then,” said Kuwajiri while closing the Revelation Board. “Balancer, you can handle the rest. Bring his memories back.”
●
“Whew! All done! But, Balancer, isn’t it going to take a while to bring his memories back!?”
<Don’t worry about that! I called in the perfect person for the job!>
●
I awoke with a start.
I felt like I just had an awful dream. Or rather…
“I died!!”
I had a feeling I had died the instant I stepped up onto the stage. But anyway, I caught my breath while just sitting in bed in a T-shirt and boxers with the morning sun shining in on me.
I checked the digital clock on the same shelf as the TV next to the bed and saw it was 11:32 of 8/5/1990. I liked how the time and date matched…wait, those don’t match at all!
Why did I think they did for a second? There must be something wrong with me today.
But that aside…
“Eh?”
Someone was standing next to my bed.
That shouldn’t have been possible. I lived alone and I could have sworn I locked the door last night. But…
“Who the hell are you!? And why are you eating Karamucho and wearing so many layers in the middle of summer!?”
“What!? Balancer, this idiot really has lost his memories!”
<Yes, his memory links have deteriorated. Can you restore them?>
“Ehhhhh!? What’s happening here!? Some kinda prank!?”
“You could say that, but I have authority over knowledge, so I will use an Auth Spell to restore your memories.”
“Huh!? What kinda spiritual mumbo jumbo is that!? Besides, who even are you!? Wait, are you my separated-at-birth sister!? You mean I have biggish boobs blood flowing in my veins!?”
“Biggish!? You can’t possibly tell through so many layers of clothing, but that ‘ish’ is uncalled for!”
She raised her fist and then it slammed into me.
“Eshtar Attack: Memory Restoring Fist of Compassion!!”
●
Shifu saw Eshita being summoned in front of the stone hut.
“Okay, we’re here.”
She was not alone. Several more Revelation Boards appeared in front of her to produce…
“Hiiiiii! I’ve got as many of my memories as she could give meeeeeeeeeeee!”
Shifu sighed when she saw the idiot hopping around.
She exchanged a glance with the others and clapped her hands.
“Okay, meeting’s over. Sumeragi-kun’s here, so get back to work.”
“Back to work!”'
“Ehhhh!? Hold on! Don’t you need to celebrate my arrival!?”
Everyone stopped, looked back, and gave some scattered applause.
“Wow! I never knew applause could sound so unwelcoming!”
“Do they all hate you?”
“Stop! My identity is fragile, so don’t say anything that could cause it to come crashing down! Papa won’t allow it!”
“Just get over there and convince Senpai-chan to come out.”
“Oh, right!”
He faced the stone hut again, so he clearly knew what he needed to do here.
“Anyway, um, I’m not sure how to put this.”
Give it your all, human. That sounds good.
Interlude[edit]
“Come to think of it, Sumeragi-chan might be better off if he doesn’t give it his all.”
<I literally could not agree more.>
Chapter 37: Switch[edit]
–Reaction and response
●
“Okay.”
Senpai is, um, uh, I thought. Well, whatever it is, it’s about Senpai.
“Where’s Senpai!? Hey! You! The screen and Mucho! I see the other Senpais and the Druagas over there, but where’s Senpai!?”
“How should I know!? Hey, Balancer, where is Iwanaga-hime!?”
<How strange. Didn’t I say Senpai-san is in that stone hut? I do believe I said that before arriving here.>
“Eh!? You did!? You just kept blathering on, so I stopped listening!”
<That honestly pissed me off, but make no mistake. That is just proof that I am a very capable AI.>
“Yeah, it’s really annoying when that human doesn’t listen to you, isn’t it?”
<You didn’t know either, so that means you weren’t listening any more than he was!>
Mucho ignored that by eating some Karamucho while I moved over in front of the stone hut.
There was a stone door in front of me.
…Huh? Was this door here before?
Was it? I wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered. I reached for the knob, and…
“Nh!?”
It wouldn’t open. I tried a few more times, but…
“Hey, door no open!”
<Never before have I heard a native speaker with such a poor grasp of the language.>
“Eh!? Really!? Lucky you! You lost your bad Japanese virginity to me! Aren’t you glad I gave you such a wonderful experience!? You should thank me! C’mon!”
I leaned back against the door to form a K pose.
“Bring it on!!”
Shifu-senpai made a rotating gesture with her right arm while she sent hair swords against the flame dragons in the distance.
“Eh!? Shifu-senpai! You liked my performance that much!? Shifu-senpai! How many times should I twirl!?”
“I’m saying wrap it uuuup!”
What? She didn’t understand my gags? How could this be!? But…
“So what do I do now?”
<That pissed me off all over again since I explained this to you in detail before we arrived, but that is because I am an excellent AI. Listen, ape. You need to get Senpai-san out of that stone hut.>
I looked back to the hut. The door was shut. As were the windows. So…
“But how?”
<Figuring that out is your job.>
“C’mon, think about this for a second! Senpai made this stone hut! Do you really think I’m allowed to open it up without her permission!? If I was allowed to touch it and hug it and shout ‘Ahh, Senpai’s hands made this, so she’s giving me an indirect massage right now!’ and press my entire body against it and lick it, I’d be doing it already!”
“Are we sure you aren’t a failed creation?”
“How rude! What you see here is the average high school boy of the 90s!”
<Since there is only one of them in existence, you are technically the average.>
“Right?” I said before high-fiving Balancer.
Shifu-senpai did her “wrap it up” gesture again.
“Just open it up already.”
“Hey, the dragons are getting stronger, so we need to pull back the front line a bit!”
“Noooooooooooo! I won’t allow iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Don’t you change on meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
“We don’t have a choice here!!”
“Any news on Iwanaga-hime?”
I thought about the busty Mesopotamian girl’s question.
What was Senpai doing right now?
“N-no! I mustn’t imagine such lewd things! Yes, she’s closed in a private room all by herself, but she would never do something so indecent! You could have a shower scene, but it wouldn’t be a sexy one! Just a constant close-up of her washing her shoulders forever!”
More “wrap it up” from Shifu-senpai.
“Can you just open it already?”
“I wouldn’t dare directly touch something Senpai touched!”
“Touch the ground real quick.”
I wasn’t sure why I should do that, but I did it anyway. I thought it would feel warm, but it didn’t. That probably meant Mucho’s divine protections were working.
Anyway, I stood up and looked back to her.
“Iwanaga-hime made the ground there too. If you can touch that, you can touch that stone hut.”
“Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? How could you do this to meeeeeeeeee!?”
I twisted my body 90 degrees and tilted my head.
“Mucho! You just defiled my faith! You tricked me into touching the untouchable! But Senpai is kind, so I’m sure she’ll forgive me! You lose!”
<Such incredible reasoning! I wish there was a hospital here I could take you to!>
“So you do get it! My faith is so pure that only a pediatrician or urologist could understand it! What’s that? I have a cold? My throat is swollen, so I need to go get a rectal exam!? You can’t be serious!”
Shifu-senpai’s “wrap it up” was showing signs of her growing legitimately angry, so I got serious for a moment.
“What do I do?”
<If you cannot touch it, why not try calling to her?>
Oh, yeah. I can do that. My voice probably would reach the god I worship.
●
Calling Senpai!
“Senpai!”
That was too short, so I made it longer.
“Senpaiiiii!”
No, that wasn’t quite right. I was only extending the final i. I needed to extend it all equally.
“Ssseeennnpppaaaiii!”
Hm, now it sounded more like I was a kid in front of a friend’s house asking if they could come out to play. My pronunciation was probably to blame. I needed to express Senpai’s beauty.
“♪Seeeenpaiiiiiiiiiiiii!♪”
Close but no cigar! Why no cigar!? Because there was too much me in it. Senpai was a god, so I had to eliminate my own lowly self from how I said it.
“♪Slueeeehenmmmuuuppaiiihhhhh!♪”
What, is she one of the Great Old Ones now!?
●
“Just out of curiosity, does the Cthulhu stuff count as a mythology?”
<No, those are just ordinary works of fiction.>
“How did you even make that noise?”
“You do it like you’re trying to shout out the top of your head. …But how about it!? That last one shocked Mucho, so it probably made it to Senpai!”
<I forgot to mention it, but a divine barrier is blocking all the sound.>
“How could you!? How could you!?”
●
I actually heard it.
“Ahhhhhhh! It’s Sumeragi-kun! It’s Sumeragi-kun!!”
Was there something wrong with me? I was pretty sure I needed to calm down.
But when Shifu-san did her megaphone thing to get through the barrier, her voice was really loud, so I removed the soundproofing barrier so they wouldn’t do that next time. And instead…
“Senpaiiiii!”
Oh, noooo.
“Ssseeennnpppaaaiii!”
Ooohhh, nnnooo.
“♪Seeeenpaiiiiiiiiiiiii!♪”
♪Ohhh, nooooo♪
“♪Slueeeehenmmmuuuppaiiihhhhh!♪”
Oluohhhh, nwoaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
There was definitely something wrong with me.
But this was bad. Sumeragi-kun was having trouble.
I wanted to help him.
He kept calling for me like a puppy.
I really wanted to help him.
“What do I do? What do I do?”
I kept pacing around and around the table in this room. My hips hurt where I had bumped into it a few times. I should have rounded off the corners, but it felt so nice to create that perfectly smooth surface.
“Senpai!”
He knocked on the door.
“Senpai! Open up! It’s Sumeragi Izumi! The boy version this time! I was only just rolled back, so I’m all fresh! Oh, Balancer, I can tell you want to see just what part of me is so fresh! But that’s secret! You’re gonna make me blush asking that!”
It was incredible how easy it was to imagine what he was doing.
●
“Pretty sure he’s making 0 progress right now.”
“And hasn’t that stone hut’s barrier been partially removed?”
“Hm, so would the sound get through? Shifu, can you check?”
“Sure. Can you take care of things here, Tooru?”
●
Mucho said it “looked like my voice could probably get through”.
“That’s a pretty roundabout phrasing there, Mucho. Are you sure you’re a powerful god?”
“I can tell just by looking! Of course I’m powerful!”
Shifu-senpai arrived while we were arguing.
“So how about it?”
<To preserve my neutral position, I have decided to remain an observer in this case.>
“So is there any way of telling if his voice is getting through?”
“She isn’t responding to me! That means she must be calmly sleeping inside!”
“You have a very peaceful imagination. But anyway…”
Shifu-senpai slapped my shoulders and turned me toward the stone hut. And…
“Heyyyy, Senpai-chaaaaan!”
●
I won’t respond, I told myself.
“Stay strong!”
Yes. I had to stay strong. I had to resist. That was important right now.
Sumeragi-kun’s voice had been very tempting, but I could handle Shifu-san.
I could resist. I would be fine.
“Senpai-chaaan!”
Yes, what is it? Whatever it is, I can resist!
“Eshita-chan is providing divine protections for Sumeragi-chan. I was just wondering if you were okay with that.”
My resistance crumbled almost immediately.
●
Shifu saw a Revelation Board appear next to Sumeragi.
“Oh?”
<Report: Partner request for Sumeragi Izumi received – Limited contract – Confirmed.>
<Basic divine protections and authorities are being applied from Iwanaga-hime to Sumeragi Izumo.>
<Partner prioritization has canceled divine protections and authorities based on Eshtar’s emergency contract.>
Light filled the idiot’s surroundings again and a few Revelation Boards blossomed around Eshita-chan. Meaning…
“You’re partners again, but she still isn’t preserving this location. She sure is the jealous type.”
“That means she can hear me! Yes! Hooray! She heard me!”
The idiot turned toward the others.
“I’m overjoyed that she can even hear me! Happy, happy, happy! We should commemorate this day with a permanent holiday on this planet! That’s definitely happening! Okay, everyone, I’m satisfied, so let’s call it a day!”
Shifu threw a karate chop right into the idiot’s forehead.
●
The stone hut shook violently.
“A-am I under attack!?”
I assumed the flame dragons had finally reached the stone hut. I had reestablished the partner setting, but I still wasn’t preserving the hut or the land beneath it. However…
“S-sorry, Senpai! I just about flew 70m when Shifu-senpai took issue with my joke, but I hit the stone hut instead!”
That was amazingly easy to imagine. But…
“But I’m fine! Your divine protection has started healing me! Thank you so much!”
I was relieved to hear that.
●
“She must be relieved he wasn’t stolen away by another woman.”
“Ki, try not to provoke her.”
●
“Heyyyy, you got a mooooment?”
“Hm? What is it, Shinsei?”
“Welllll, my ether supplyyyy is running lowwww. I’ve already used my reserrrrve ether, so we might be in trouble iffff this keeps up.”
“Huh? How much longer do we have?”
“Hmmmm, about 15 minutes I thiiiink.”
●
That sounds bad, thought Raidou.
They had to get Senpai-san out of there and solve all of this within 15 minutes.
Even if they regained her control over this area, they were still being pushed back. They had to eliminate the flame dragons’ momentum, but they would definitely lose if they lost Shinsei’s power.
“Yomoji-chan, isn’t there anything you can do?”
“Hmmmm.”
“With us, we’d eat a bunch of meat to get all fired up.”
“Ooh! Ooh! I have a question! How do we get the club president fired up?”
Shinsei looked up toward the heavens and eventually looked back down with a serious expression.
“Back in my priiiime, none of my believers were wiiiilling to even try to take me on.”
“You just hate the entire idea of having believers, don’t you!? Don’t you!?”
●
“Sumeragi! You have 10 minutes! We can manage if you leave us with 5 minutes! So you need to get Senpai-san out of that stone hut within 10 minutes!”
I nodded at Raidou-senpai’s demand.
“Got it! I read about a situation like this in a book!”
“Really? What book? Something like ‘96 Tragic Mistakes in World History’?”
“Th-that’s a weirdly specific book to invent! But no! It was a Japanese mythology book! About Shinto!”
●
“Yes, this is much like that Ama-no-Iwato incident we dealt with.”
“The one where Amaterasu, one of Shinto’s primary gods, grew fed up with her brother Susanoo’s outrageous behavior and holed up in a cave?”
“It was honestly a ton of fun. We threw this huge party out front until Amaterasu peeked out to see what was going on and then we all dragged her out. Uzume even danced in the nude to really get the party going.”
●
“Okay! That means someone has to dance in the nude!”
They all turned their backs on me.
●
“Huhhh!?”
None of them responded. Mucho was even eating Karamucho again.
“What’s wrong, everyone!? It’s time to throw a party to draw Senpai’s attention! Ohhh, I get it! You all want me to strip! Well, why didn’t you say so!? This is what you want, isn’t it!?”
“Hey, someone stop him. This is painful to watch.”
“Sumeragi-chaaan? Do you really think Senpai-chan wants to see you dancing in the nude?”
●
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little interested.
“I mean, he’s my fav! O-of course I want to see him naked! It’s completely natural!”
Oh. Come to think of it, this is actually bad.
“I can’t let everyone out there see him naked before I do!”
This entire endeavor was starting to feel like a failure. But I could still hear him through the wall.
“Hmm. Then how about I do it next time I’m rolled back as a girl!?”
Yes! Yes! That would be great!
“Except I’ll be a virtual manifestation, so I won’t be around to see it!”
Wow, I was getting pathetic.
●
Then what should I do? I wondered.
I thought back to the myth. What had they done to get Amaterasu out of the Ama-no-Iwato?
“The gods got drunk and then chatted with each other!”
<Try it.>
“Okay! Raidou-senpai, let’s start by getting drunk!”
“I’m gonna be pretty busy for the full 10 minutes!”
He was not being helpful. So…
“Shifu-senpai! …Hey, why’d you turn your back on me!? Stop fighting with one hand over your ear!”
The Druaga pair weren’t much better.
“What’s with them! It’s like they don’t want to solve this!”
<And what will you do about it?>
“Mucho! Can you get us drunk!?”
“Can I be honest?”
“Hm? Go for it.”
“When Shifu used my name earlier, your divine protection privileges were rewritten in a flash, right? And Iwanaga-hime gave me one hell of a look after I killed you with my spear before, remember?”
Mucho’s voice rose to a shout.
“You’re just giving her more and more reasons to hate me!”
“And what happens then?”
“Don’t you get it!? If she finds out I helped you here, that’s three strikes against me and she’ll define my lifespan to kill me!”
“Yeah, Senpai is super cute, isn’t she?”
“We’re talking about my death here! And none of it is my fault!”
“Yeahhhh, sorry about that.”
“See? Shifu-senpai apologized and everything.”
“Extremely casually! Anyway, I’m rejecting any plan that uses me! Got that!?”
Also…
“Why do you keep calling me Mucho!?”
“Because you’re Mucho. What kinda question is that?”
Mucho scratched at the air before finally pointing at me.
“You’re supposed to use a god’s actual name when addressing them!”
“Oh? But didn’t you just call me Shifu?”
“–––––”
“It’s okay when I do it! Because I’m important!”
“Calm down, Mucho. You’re hurting your identity here. And didn’t you know? Mucho is Ancient Ikeyan for ‘Important Goddess’. That’s why I’ve been calling you that.”
“Really!? And that’s why you gave me these snacks!?”
<To clarify, Mucho is Spanish for ‘a lot’ and its feminine form is ‘mucha’, so it has nothing at all to do with you, Eshtar.>
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!?”
“Calm down, Mucho. If you really don’t like being called that, I can take the middle of Karamucho and call you Ra Mu.”
“She’s from Mu?”
“She’s Kikuchi Momoko.”
The 90s group was quick to catch on. The Druaga group looked confused, but they’d figure it out eventually.
<Anyway, what are you going to do?>
“Get drunk, remember? And I know just the girl for that.”
●
Kuwajiri had been sleeping on the floor. She was still lying there, but she was awake now.
“…”
She was still electrified.
The day had been a pain in the morning and a pain at midday. She had eaten too much at lunch out of spite, so the beer from before had taken effect and she had fallen asleep with her legs sticking out onto the balcony.
That had been a mistake.
“Only my legs will have a tan.”
She sluggishly looked down to see the balcony was in the shade. Her legs were not in the sun.
So she would be fine.
Anyway, the beer can next to her still had some left inside.
She sat up and took a sip.
It was no longer cold, but that was not too different from how it was back home. It tended to be chilled here, which she appreciated at times like this.
“I really shouldn’t fall asleep with my glasses on.”
She sighed while continuing to sip at the beer.
What were the others doing right now? There was no point in her going since she could not fight and she could provide any of her knowledge via divine transmission, so it was best for her to stay here.
Then a Revelation Board appeared. It was from Balancer, but it produced a different voice.
“Hey! Kuwajiri! Could you come here real quick!? Only you will do!”
“Huh?”
She frowned.
They needed fighters there and they needed that idiot to put in an effort, so why would they need her?
But the “only you will do” phrasing had piqued her curiosity, so she asked.
“Why me? This is like Amaterasu’s Ama-no-Iwato, isn’t it? You shouldn’t need a wisdom god.”
●
“No, idiot! It has to be you! We need to get drunk here, but the others aren’t helping! Mucho has nothing better to do, but she still won’t help! Yeah, that’s right! Mucho has nothing at all to do, but she won’t lift a finger to help! Do I need to say it a third time!? Anyway, we need you here! You’re a god of alcohol, aren’t you!? That means your arrival is like getting a whole barrel of beer delivered! Because your blood alcohol is so high you’re like a drunken party all on your own! This’ll work! So come on over!”
Kuwajiri smashed the Revelation Board with a straight right punch.
●
“Ah, hell! Kuwajiri rejected my idea at this crucial moment!”
“Why did you think she would do anything but reject that?”
“And you were badmouthing me! What did I ever do to deserve that!?”
“Isn’t the problem that you didn’t do anything?”
●
“Heh heh heh. Do you see now how perfectly I set up our party outside the Ama-no-Iwato? Seeing how much trouble they’re having now proves that it was truly an act of god.”
“Bragging about that here solves nothing!”
“How did you set that up?”
“Oh, it was simple. Most of them came running the instant I sent out a divine transmission. Because either they owed me one or I knew some compromising secret about them. Uzume-kun showed up of her own accord, though.”
“Extortion is illegal!”
●
“Dang, this myth is useless! We need to think up some better method!”
My angry venting earned me some advice.
“How bout you go through with the strip show you were considering before?”
“Ehh!? Are you saying Senpai wants to see my strip show!?”
“No, I’m saying she’ll come out to stop you because she doesn’t want it to happen.”
The opposite, huh?
But that might just work. I twirled twice and stopped in front of the stone hut’s door. And…
“Senpai! I’m about to strip! It’ll be the hottest strip show on the planet! Guaranteed to get your motor running like the Tyrrell six-wheeler! Ahhhhn! That right there is the sound of an erection! Ohhhh, Sumeragi is starting off strong here! Just look at that Tokyo Tower of pleasure! And he reaches for his clothes to strip with it still standing tall! And there go those clothes! What do you have to say about that, Yamamoto-san!? …Well, he sure did strip.”
“Who is Yamamoto-san?”
“Kotetsu.”
Leave it to the war god to get the reference. But that wasn’t what mattered.
“You hear that, Senpai! I really am going to strip! You okay with that!?”
That was when I noticed something.
A Revelation Board had opened in front of the door.
The words “Recording Spell” were clearly written on it.
●
“Yeah, that’ll make you gulp.”
“Which is it?”
“Are you asking if she wants to record it or if she’s threatening to record it if he doesn’t stop?”
“Either way, that’s the end of the stripping plan.”
●
“That’s our Senpai! She saw right through my stripping plan!”
Eshita sighed at the idiot’s comment.
“Fine, then.”
She felt like she had to play the villain here, so she tapped the idiot on the shoulder with her left hand and summoned her power into her right hand.
That was the spear of death.
“Human? I am going to say some dangerous things and take you hostage. If you don’t make it sound real, Iwanaga-hime won’t come out.”
“Eh!? Are you sure, Mucho!? You really want to earn Senpai’s wrath and have your lifespan fade away and crumble like powdered soup!?”
“No, I don’t want that! And stop describing it so vividly! C’mon!”
With that last word, she shoved the idiot in front of the door and readied her spear behind him.
“Listen up!”
She thought about who she was speaking to.
“Come on out if you want this hostage to leave here alive!”
●
In an instant, the door opened.
In an instant, a hand reached out.
In an instant, it grabbed Sumeragi’s collar.
In an instant, he was dragged into the stone hut.
In an instant, the door started to close.
●
“–––––––”
“Eh!? What!? Hey, wait!”
The door was closing, so Eshita frantically reached out to stop it.
As she did, she saw Iwanaga-hime glaring up at her from the darkness within.
“Eep.”
Just as she felt her imaginary balls shrivel up, the door shut.
She even heard a lock click.
There was nothing left in her left hand and only the spear of death in her right hand.
“Eh!? Ahh! Wait!?”
●
“…”
“Yeah, I think we’re screwed now.”
“And Sumeragi-chan is probably having an interesting time in there.”
“You sound like you’re enjoying this, Shifu.”
“Eshtar, what is wrong with you?”
“No, um, I….”
She had to say it.
“It’s not my fault!”
Interlude[edit]
“Senpai! I love that new look in your eyes!”
“Th-thank you?”
Chapter 38: Curse 02[edit]
–Wow! Wow!
An interview with my fav is so exciting!
●
I was sitting in a chair.
Inside the stone hut.
I had expected it to be dark, but there was something like an emergency light on the ceiling.
I was waiting for Senpai to make some tea when she emerged from the kitchen.
“Here is your tea.”
“Thank you so much! So. What should we start on for today’s terraforming!?”
“Um, did Balancer not tell you what’s happening?”
“They did! But you’ll do the terraforming with me! I just know it!”
Yes.
That felt like destiny to me.
I was just about to explain why when she sat next to me and turned toward me.
…So big.
I meant her boobs. Make no mistake about that. And then she spoke to me.
“Where should I begin?”
“What did you eat to get such amazing boobs?”
“Eh? Eh? Tofu?”
The fact that she actually answered told me this really was the usual Senpai.
But this was my chance to explain what I already knew was going to happen.
“I’m going to take you out of here so we can begin the terraforming again! Nothing else can happen! But if you’re accepting questions, there’s a ton I want to ask!”
“A-as long as it’s nothing weird. And, um?”
“Yes?”
“Are you sure you want to take this so lightly?”
“It’s fine! Because that’s just how I am!”
It was time for some questions.
“Isn’t it going down the stairs dangerous when you can’t see your feet!?”
After a pause, she hung her head and held that head in her hands.
●
Shifu received a sudden divine transmission.
“Um, Shifu-san? I hate to interrupt at a time like this, but do you have a moment?”
“Ohhh? What is it, Senpai-chan?”
“Well, um, I still intend to return to my virtual manifestation, but I have a question.”
“Yeah? What is it? Is it time for some tender you-know-what time with Sumeragi-chan, so you want some pointers?”
“No, I don’t know what!”
“Oh, so it isn’t about that? Then what it is?”
“Well, the thing is…”
She asked the question.
“What are we supposed to talk about at times like this?”
“Ohhh, that.”
“I need an answer.”
“Sorry, sorry. I think the usual would be to talk about your feelings for each other, why you’re breaking up, and whether you’re actually going through with it. I don’t think it’s usually a very pleasant thing.”
“…”
“Is that not what’s happening?’
“He asked me if it’s dangerous when I go down stairs.”
“Yikes.”
Shifu called out to Tooru without using the Revelation Board.
“Tooruuuu! This is gonna take a while!”
“Not what I wanted to hear right now!”
●
I asked Senpai all sorts of things about herself.
“Do you have a favorite color?”
“Um, I guess monotone if that counts. Since black is my personal color.”
“Eh? Does that mean you wear black underwear?”
“With the new style uniform, I don’t even wear underwear. The uniform provides enough support for everything.”
“Oh, yeah! I wore a girl’s new style uniform for a bit, but I completely overlooked that! Why didn’t I notice? I guess it felt like wearing a swimsuit!”
Now to change the subject.
“Then what’s your favorite food?”
“Um, I like adding seaweed to a bowl of rice for flavor and mixing it together with chopsticks?”
“Nhhhh! That’s so cute! What else do you like to add to your rice!? Are you a fan of big sausages, if you know what I mean!?”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own cheek.
“Forget that last part! Just focus on what you like to add to your rice!”
“Um, I like most any Japanese food, but I especially like adding thick-fried tofu or grated yams and a raw egg.”
“Yeah, those are great! And the yams can come in handy in the bedroom too!”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own cheek.
“Based on these answers, you really do like your white rice, don’t you? Do you not like meat?”
“As long as there’s enough pepper or spices that you can’t make out the flavor. I can eat it in something like curry.”
She clapped her hands together.
“Oh, I did try cooking pork in oden sauce after hearing about it here and I liked that. When I cut it fairly thin, it went great with Japanese mustard or wasabi.”
And…
“I’ve gotten kind of hooked on ice cream. I like most any flavor. Especially when you order it in a cup.”
“Nhhhh! Nice! Adding a cup size with ice cream cups! I’ll allow it!”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own cheek.
“Wh-why do you keep slapping yourself? Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine! This just shows how wonderful you are!”
She smiled in an “my, my” kind of way, but that vanished soon enough.
“Th-this isn’t the time for that, Sumeragi-kun! Things are, um, really dangerous right now!”
“Then,” I said. “One final question.”
I asked it.
“How can you be Iwanaga-hime?”
●
…How?
I wasn’t sure what he meant, so I asked.
“…? What do you mean by ‘how’?”
“Oh, that! Well, it’s in the myths, right!? Like the Kojeeky!”
His pronunciation was off, so I corrected him.
“Um, the Kojiki.”
“Right, the Kojeeky!”
“No, um, the Kojeeky.”
Oops, he got me saying it too, so I quickly waved my hand side to side.
“Anyway, what about the Kojiki?”
“Right! That myth says something really rude. It says you look like a hideous monster or something! How rude can they be!? If someone wrote that now, I’d rush right on over to their house to let them have it!”
“That was more of a subjective issue. It comes down to Ninigi-san’s personal tastes.”
“You mean Ninigi had really weird tastes and your sister was really weird!?”
“No, Sakuya has a wilder personality and she likes eating ramen gyoza even in the middle of the night, but I would say she’s cute and good looking.”
Sumeragi-kun performed an upside-down stretched-out prostration at my feet.
“Please forgive meeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I got carried away and insulted your family! It’s this mouth’s fault! This stupid mouth of mine!”
“No, um, I wasn’t blaming you for anything, so calm down.”
“Okay, I’m all calmed down.”
“That was fast! Anyway, um, I’m plainer than her, so…”
He gave me the most serious look I had ever seen, so I decided it was best not to phrase it like that.
In that case, it would be best to tell the truth here. Not to mention…
“I actually told you about this a while back.”
“So it’s something I forgot?”
“Yes,” I replied. “There is a reason I ended up like that.”
●
“In Japanese mythology, Ninigi, father of the Japanese people, was given two wives: Iwanaga-hime and Konohana Sakuya-hime. But he rejected Iwanaga-hime because she was ugly and married only Konohana Sakuya-hime.”
“There’s a ‘but’ coming, isn’t there? I mean, I don’t see how anyone could call Senpai-san ugly, so why?”
“Plastic surgery?”
“An impressive leap of logic there, Sugawara-kouhai! But no, there is another reason for this. And it causes something of a problem.”
“What kind of problem?”
“Well,” said Omokane. “This was discovered during her virtual manifestation, but what if I told you Iwanaga-hime was not wed for a reason other than her appearance?”
“Hm? That wouldn’t make much sense either. I mean, is there any good reason to reject a near-eternal lifespan?”
“There is.” The lead wisdom god smiled a little. “It goes back to whose myth it was.”
●
I decided to tell him.
Only my superiors and Balancer officially knew about it and he was the only one I had privately told about it. Although I knew Balancer would be telling the others about it outside.
And I didn’t really care if they knew since I was returning to a virtual manifestation anyway. So…
“Do you know who compiled all those Japanese myths?”
“Um, the Yamato Court?”
“That’s right. Then the rest is simple enough. The Yamato Court was led by the emperor who was said to be a direct descendent of the gods. And that made the Japanese people descendants of the gods as well.”
Then…
“Why didn’t the emperor or any of you have the same long lifespans as the gods?”
“Because…”
He hesitated and then looked me in the eye.
“Huh?”
He must have noticed the contradiction there.
“Myths are ‘created’ by whoever’s in charge at the time, right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
What about that did he find so strange?
“The emperor and the rest of us have short lifespans because you weren’t chosen as Ninigi’s wife in ancient times. But that myth was ‘created’ when the emperor and the rest of us already had short lifespans.”
“Yes. The Japanese people may have had short lifespans before the myth was created, but without the myth, that was not yet defined. Then if I have that authority, did it have an effect before the myth was created’ Or did it only take effect after the myth’s creation? There’s a bit of a contradiction there. Oh, but my authority isn’t one that can affect the past retroactively.”
Anyway…
“I think the myth must have come later. But the creation of our myths forms a ‘mold’ in the ley lines and, once enough time has passed, our presence is actually able to influence things. And when many different concepts were merged during the Earth Age, those concepts allowed our authorities to manifest.”
I took a breath.
I looked up at the sky despite the ceiling in the way. The ship on which humanity slept had to be up there in the far distance.
How many gods longed for them now?
“We recreated some of Earth Age myths from the molds for our virtual manifestations. We recreated a lot of those stories to help more of the gods to manifest. One of those was Ninigi’s marriage to my sister and me.”
“But…you already looked like you do now back then, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But…”
But…
“I probably looked like this during the Earth Age myth as well.”
●
Shifu tilted her head.
“What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t mean to be rude, but doesn’t Shinto mythology depict Senpai-chan as pretty unpopular? That should have been part of her mold, so why’d she end up so good looking if her virtual manifestation was based on that mold?”
One of the flame dragons slipped through while she spoke, so she and Tooru moved back enough to crush the dragon in front of them.
Tooru was honestly a poor match for this fight.
Lightning attacks were not very effective against flame dragons. Lightning would strike an object and the supply an impact from there, but it did not even matter whether or not the flame dragons were conductive because the lightning attacks would burst right through them.
That meant he either had to extent his Thor’s Hammer to hit them with it, or Shifu would pluck out some hair and have him attach it to the “guard” of the hammer to create the…
“Golden Hammer!”
“Heh heh. That name is so embarrassing!”
That was really all he could do. But…
“Umm, can we get back on topic?”
They were talking about Senpai-chan. As a fellow goddess, Shifu did not want to be too harsh, but there was one major question left over here.
“How can you say she looked like that during the Earth Age too?”
●
“Because it’s Shinto,” said Kuwajiri while reading the reports Balancer had resumed sending her.
There were a lot of mysteries about Senpai-san, but she had an opinion on this one.
“I think it’s based on the purification rules.”
“Purification?”
“Yes,” she replied while realizing it felt like forever since she had held a normal conversation with Shifu. “Shinto contains several stories of a cursed god or impure object changing into a benevolent god or a treasure. Purification in those cases refers to viewing the inner essence of the cursed god or impure object and tearing away the curse or impurity that made it look ‘ugly’.”
In that case…
“Let’s say that Senpai-san is good looking. But she carried a certain curse that made her into an ‘ugly’ being. However, Ninigi’s rejection purified her, she lost that ‘ugliness’, and she appeared in her original pure form.”
“Then what was that curse?”
“The way she can shorten lifespans?”
Kuwajiri shook her head.
“The curse needing purification was the lengthening of lifespans.”
●
“I don’t understand. Why would lengthening lifespans be a curse needing purification?”
Omokane shrugged at Scarecrow’s question.
“Kubiko-kun, you are a scarecrow god, correct? That might make it sound like you were born from human civilization. But even if myths are sometimes created by those in power, the gods in those myths are still gods. You must not forget that.”
Hear me out.
“Humans and gods are much alike, but what is it that creates a clear distinction between the two?”
“Authority?”
“Close, but no. Humans too could use spells after the merging of the concepts. Divine protections and spells are no longer ours alone. Which means…”
“Is it their lifespan?”
“Correct! Well done, Sugawara-kouhai! No, I shall call you Tenma-kun to bring us closer! From humanity’s perspective, having or not having a lifespan is the clear distinction between them and the gods!”
How about that?
“Now, let us get back on topic. For humanity and for Earthly Gods like you, Kubiko-kun, Iwanaga-hime’s lifespan lengthening authority had to be a hot topic. They would badly desire it. However…”
Omokane gave a snort of laughter.
“We Heavenly Gods did not like the sound of granting humanity ‘life as eternal as a stone’ even if that was an imperfect eternity. We knew the humans would begin to act just like us if they gained it.”
Do you understand now?
“For the Heavenly Gods, Iwanaga-hime’s lifespan lengthening authority would grant humanity power approaching our own special privileges, which would be tantamount to a terrorist attack against us.”
“–––––”
“How about that? Ninigi was a Heavenly God too, so what decision do you think he would have made? He may have decided humanity could not be allowed to become Heavenly Gods, so he chose the shorter lifespan instead of the longer even though he knew it would affect him as well.”
Or…
“He may have known that humanity would not last if he had accepted the longer lifespan then.”
●
Kuwajiri opened a Revelation Board and began some calculations.
She was calculating out the productivity of ancient humanity. During the 10th century BCE, wetland rice cultivation began in Japan and that had spread across the entire country to some degree or another by the time the Shinto myths were created.
But if the events of the mythological era were true…
“If the Japanese people had gained extended lifespans at the point of the story about Ninigi, Senpai-san, and Konohana Sakuya, it is highly likely that Japan would have declined.”
“Hm? What do you mean? With a longer lifespan, they would have more knowledge and more people and they would no longer fear death, so wouldn’t they prosper?”
They would not and one of the upperclassmen explained why.
“Their agricultural productivity, right?”
“Yes, exactly.”
That war god’s skills as an agricultural god proved useful here.
“According to Shinto mythology, Ninigi’s children were Hikohohodemi and Hoderi. Those two were mixed gods born from a Heavenly God and an Earthly God, but they possessed certain nicknames and authorities.”
Namely…
“Hikohohodemi was also known as Yamasachi, which means Mountain Fortune, and Hoderi was also known as Umisachi, which means Sea Fortune. They were in charge of the productivity of the land and the productivity of the sea respectively. They were not yet around in Ninigi and Senpai-san’s generation, so there would not have been enough food production to support the people even with their lengthened lifespans.”
●
“My sister became pregnant after her first night with Ninigi and then she caused a lot of what I can only call aggressive stories, but at that time, there were no gods on the level of a Heavenly God that could stabilize production on the earth. And my nephews who took on that task were late to develop their powers because they were always fighting with each other and getting into trouble. …So what would have happened if my lifespan lengthening had increased the number of people?”
“Um, there wouldn’t be enough food?”
“Yes. And what would happen then if they had my authority?”
“Um.”
“There wouldn’t be enough food, but people wouldn’t be dying, so there would be food crisis.”
Correct.
“My authority lengthens lifespans, but it does not make them immortal. So with my authority, the people would live superhumanly long, but they would still starve to death without food. In the early stages of human prosperity, they could not have supported themselves if they had my authority, so it would have only driven them to their doom.”
●
“Authorities that provide godlike abilities will always harm humans. Just like the Tower of Babel.”
But anyway…
“A new problem has arisen there. Yes, we must remember what exactly Iwanaga-hime’s power is.”
Are you listening?
“Choose to be with her and you will gain an imperfect but still nearly-eternal lifespan. But refusing her and being given a shortened lifespan was no real problem at the time of the Earth Age myths.”
“Humanity does indeed have a short lifespan.”
“Indeed they do. But…what about when that authority was established in the current age? Especially in the virtual manifestation world where the gods of many different mythologies coexist?” she said. “The virtual manifestation is used to partially recreate the necessary myths for the development and creation of the gods while still in a virtual state. We can’t recreate the largescale damage of ‘the twilight of the gods’ or anything like that, so anything related to a god’s death is worked around somehow or other. But…”
“In the other mythologies, the lifespan of the believers or gods is generally established with a choice to steal or lose food or some other item, right?”
“Correct. In most mythologies, that is set in stone and cannot be overturned. The Fruit of Knowledge is a one-way switch and the promise cannot be restored afterwards. The choice is a one-time deal.”
But…
“With Iwanaga-hime, the offer is still valid. Because she is unmarried, not divorced. The mythology that acquired her could still give their believers godlike lifespans.”
●
Ki was hitting the flame dragons with the most effective attacks out of their entire group.
Freezing spells worked well. That was not surprising, but that also meant she was the most exhausted one in the group. However…
…I owe those two bigtime.
The human had taken her place when she was meant to die. He had saved her and given her more time.
In equivalent exchange terms, the only way to repay him would be to die, but since she did not want to die, she was prepared to accept as much exhaustion and injury as it took. And she was listening to the others discuss this while she poured her all into this fight.
“Could she really extend just their believer’s lifespans? Doesn’t Senpai-san’s authority affect other gods as well?”
“Yes, but since Omokane and the other Shinto gods still have their eternal lifespans, the effects must only reach her spouse and their children. That means she would only have to marry the original human or the god that became the original human in the mythology in question.”
What would happen then?
“That god’s worshippers would gain near-eternal lifespans in this world. They would become superhuman, but in the world after the terraforming has stabilized, that would give them a major advantage as primates. Those humans would likely sweep across the world and the other mythologies would ultimately lose all their believers and be destroyed.”
“You mean…?”
“The humans of the mythology that won over Iwanaga-hime and gained her long lifespan authority would become the rulers of the human world. That is why her marriage must be carefully managed.”
That sure is restrictive, thought Ki. Having that authority sounds like a real pain.
“But…that still doesn’t answer the actual question about her looks.”
●
“It’s simple. Remember what I said about purifying my power? Before that was done, I was an ugly being to the Heavenly Gods. But when Ninigi-san shunned me, it made me ‘harmless’ to the Heavenly Gods even with my lifespan lengthening power. That acted as a purification and made me clean.”
But…
“The Heavenly Gods wanted to make sure no one would seek out my power, so they said anyone who married me would gain a long lifespan but all their descendants would be the children of an ugly goddess.”
“But…”
“I really was initially ugly in purification terms, so by claiming I still was, they could decrease the amount of people who would try to acquire me. It might sound awful, but that has allowed me to live a peaceful life without anyone noticing me. Being treated badly is not necessarily a bad thing. That too is a form of purification.”
In other words…
“It was all to hide my authority, to prevent humanity from becoming too similar to the heavenly gods…and to ensure I could live a normal life.”
●
A smile escaped onto my lips.
I could not help but smile because I felt so glad. Because…
“Do you understand now, Sumeragi-kun? I was never meant to appear on the center stage. I give humans inhumanly long lifespans and I can kill a god if I resent them. I can only survive if I keep my identity hidden.”
I had now let him know this was the right decision.
“So I can’t stay here now that my identity has been revealed. This could lead to trouble with the other mythologies and you could become more than human if my authority were to affect you.”
What would happen then?
“You too would be eliminated from this world as nonhuman.”
The terraforming had to be done by a human. And they had to remain on a human level even with the help of divine protections and authorities.
So…
“Sumeragi-kun.”
This was goodbye.
“Do you understand now?”
I distinctly saw him nod.
He was saying he did understand.
●
Was this relief I was feeling?
I wanted him to understand that I couldn’t be here and that was how it was meant to be.
I had gotten that through to him and he had expressed his understanding, so why did I feel something bitter and heavy weighing on the bottom of my heart? And…
“Now it’s my turn!”
●
“Huh!?”
Out of nowhere, Sumeragi-kun held out a Revelation Board.
“Eh? Eh? Sumeragi-kun!?”
“Okay! I asked you a bunch of questions and you answered them, so now it’s my turn! This Revelation Board has a list of sexy questions I’m willing to answer, so ask me anything you want to know!”
Now.
“Are you ready for Sumeragi Izumi and Senpai’s Super Interrogation Time!?”
Eh? Eh? Interrogation?
Chapter 39: Crying[edit]
–You don’t have to cry anymore
●
“U-um, um?”
I missed my chance for a lot of things here. But chance or not, I had to do this. Leaving was my duty here. It had to happen. However…
“Okay, Senpai! Bring on the questions and make ‘em as tough as you want!”
He was sparkling.
I couldn’t refuse him, but maybe that meant I was too easy on him. Regardless…
…I’m too easy on myself too.
This was definitely relieving the weight I felt in my chest.
Or maybe I was just looking the other and pretending it wasn’t there.
“Let’s see.”
I checked the Revelation Board he sent me and it did indeed show a list of questions.
It was a long list and honestly a little confusing, so I used the Revelation Board’s voice recognition to narrow it down.
“Um, only the ones I can understand.”
The screen shrank about 7 times and the questions were reduced to just 5.
“Wow. You are dedicated to your bit, aren’t you?”
“Woohoo! Praise from Senpai! Way to go, me! I’m so glad I spent the time to think up all those questions on the way here!”
Was it really that exciting? But anyway, there were only 5 questions left, so I decided to ask them.
●
Question 1: What are your hobbies?
Question 2: What is your favorite food?
Question 3: When is your birthday?
Question 4: Have you ever dated someone before?
Question 5: What has your life been like?
●
“Um, Sumeragi-kun? Question 1: what are your hobbies?”
He answered immediately.
“Well! It used to be video games and before that it was visiting used book stores on my bike! Tachikawa doesn’t have very many used book stores, but if you go from Akishima to Fussa, there a bunch of independent ones! Since I got some exercise riding out there, my parents were cool with it and I got to buy and read books! Once I finished reading them, I would get rid of the price written on the back and go sell it, find out it didn’t get me any money at all, and buy it back! But once we got a PC-98 and MSX2 at home, all that changed! I started checking for old issues of LOGiN at the used bookstores! And let’s not forget about Technopolis! And the way they kept you from reading Comptiq in the store helped spice things up a little! But my latest hobby is praising you.”
He talked on and on.
He used a lot of terms I wasn’t familiar with, but it was good to have hobbies you could talk about.
“Um, while I do appreciate it, most people wouldn’t want to equate worship with a hobby, so be more careful, okay?”
“Okay! I will! But I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t understand what it’s like to worship you! How can you go through life without knowing about someone so amazing!?”
●
“He’s awfully bright and lucid for a fanatic.”
“Bil, try to choose a kinder word next time. Even if it is accurate.”
●
“Um, okay, on to the next question. What is your favorite food?”
“I like pretty much anything! I don’t really have what I would call a favorite, but I sometimes get a real hankering for something with a strong flavor, so I’ll get late night cravings for chicken ramen or an okonomiyaki with plenty of sauce and mayo. And I may not like them was much as Yomoji-senpai, but I’ll usually order a lamb steak or mutton steak if I see it on the menu. It’s a bit far, but the Nicola Pizza House near the Yokota Base on Route 16 has the best pizza, but the dandy owner who works as a waiter is getting up there in years and I bet the place will change once he’s gone. But my latest discovery is oden-style pork! I’m pretty sure I’ll be eating that for a while!”
●
<When Nicola changes ownership, the rest of the staff leaves and starts a pizza house called Torino in neighboring Akiruno.>
“That is some extremely local information there.”
“Karamucho is better than any of that crap! Why didn’t he mention it!?”
●
I moved on to the third question.
“Um, Question 3? When is your birthday?”
“It’s January 1, so it’s really easy to remember! I was apparently actually born at around 11 PM on the 31st, but the hospital asked my parents if they wanted to fudge the timing a little to make it the 1st and they agreed!
“A birthday that requires an explanation!?”
“Hell yeah!”
“But one problem is how a birthday then means my birthday presents, Christmas presents, and New Year money are often rolled up into one thing. So my parents discussed it with my extended family and they decided a special meal on Christmas was fine, but we wouldn’t do presents. So I usually just get some cold hard cash on January 1 and that’s it!”
That doesn’t sound fun, I thought while moving on to the next question.
“Okay, what’s the 4th one?”
I read the text and felt my heart skip a beat.
“U-um! Have you ever dated someone before!?”
“Nope! Never!”
He did not hesitate to answer.
●
“I bet Sumeragi-chan could get a date pretty easily if he wasn’t so dang weird.”
“So you’re saying it’s a lost cause.”
“What would a normal Sumeragi even be like?”
“He wouldn’t make weird noises and jump around all the time?”
“There gooooes 80% of his charrrrm.”
“He’s 80% weird noises and jumping around?”
●
I felt like I had asked something I shouldn’t have.
But Sumeragi-kun had written these questions, so it was probably fine. I was worried, but I still decided to move on.
The 5th question was the last one.
…Oh?
I read the last remaining question on the Revelation Board.
<What has your life been like?>
That was an especially easy one. The others had been directly asking about something, but this one was vaguer.
It was essentially giving him a free answer to say whatever he wanted.
“Okay, time for the last question.”
I asked it.
“What has your life been like?”
He responded the very moment I asked it.
“I can’t answer that!!”
●
“Eh?”
Why? I wondered. He had answered all the other questions about his past, including something he had no experience with.
So why couldn’t he answer this more open-ended question?
“Sumeragi-kun!?”
He explained it just as I realized what he probably meant.
“My memories aren’t things I actually experienced! They’re all things Balancer invented and stuck in my head!”
●
“The only life I’ve had – for the most recent me after the, um, rollback is it? – is what’s happened over the last 30 minutes or so! And if we include the previous High Elder Sumeragis, then I probably have around 2 or 3 weeks of life since I’m the 15th or 16th version. The rest of my past is only false memories.”
But…
“But I do know one thing, even if I only realized it a bit ago. My cicada-short life all started with you.”
●
I didn’t know what he meant.
Well, that was hardly unusual with him, but this one held greater meaning for me.
“Why does your life start with me?”
●
“Silly girl. Of course it starts with you. Tell her, Sumeragi Izumi.”
●
I knew something.
“The original me – the very first one – hasn’t gotten a rerun and I don’t remember anything from that life, but I know I must have made a certain choice.”
This was important.
“The very first thing I did after being created and becoming aware…was choosing you.”
●
“…!?”
Senpai grew flustered.
“Choosing me was the very first thing you did?”
Yes.
That’s right.
But she still didn’t understand. Well, she might remember being chosen, but I didn’t know exactly how it had happened.
There were things about this I didn’t know, but I did understand it.
“You know what happened earlier? I woke up remembering I had played a game and I found Balancer lying next to me.”
“B-Balancer!? What was that AI doing!?”
“And Mucho was standing next to my bed.”
“Wait! What was she doing in your room!? Not even I’ve been in there because I’ve only allowed myself to feel its warmth coming in through the wall! Sh-she can’t get away with this!!”
She seemed a little mistaken about what had happened, but I always took her side.
There was only one thing to say.
“Right!? She shouldn’t have done that!!”
●
“Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! My lifespan’s in trouble! Or would you say I’m in lifespan trouble!? Bilgamesh! Enkidu! Do something!”
“What do you expect us to do?”
“You should probably try dying. I bet it would make Ereshkigal so mad.”
<Let’s not forget that I’m a victim here too!>
●
Senpai checked my health management settings on a Revelation Board and sighed after seeing nothing was amiss.
“That was a close one, Sumeragi-kun.”
“Yeah, but I’m fine. My defenses are lax but tough.”
But anyway…
“While my memories came back to me and I learned what was going on, it occurred to me that Balancer always gets directly involved during critical events.”
That “always” meant something like this must have happened before. But when would that have been?
“When the first original me was rolled out like a limited edition, Balancer must have been there to teach me various stuff.”
Yes.
That had to be it. I was certain of it. Because…
“Balancer takes things seriously, so they would have taught told me that I was a created human and all that stuff the first time. Because that’s more efficient. Balancer’s an inconsiderate bastard, so they definitely would have told me everything without even thinking about how it would make me feel. But that would have let me do something.”
Would have, would have, would have – it was all speculation.
But this was the only thing that made sense.
“I was supposed to participate in the terraforming as an independent being – as a human. Balancer couldn’t intervene, which is why I was created.”
And what did I need to do to do that?
“First, I would have thought about and chosen which god I wanted as a partner.”
And that was…
“You, Senpai. The very first thing I did on my own was choose you.”
Yes. I had.
“All my memories were fake, so choosing you was the very first thing I really and truly did for myself.”
●
“–––––––”
Senpai gasped.
That told me I was right.
I didn’t remember what happened back then, but she did.
How could I be so stupid that I forgot something so important? But I had reclaimed some of it here.
“I wonder why I chose you.”
“Well…”
“Balancer would have told me first and foremost that I was a created human and that my entire past was fake. I might have put on a show of being happy, but could I have really and truly happily chosen a partner after learning that?”
It was a good question.
I felt like I could do it now.
But that was because I had Senpai now. At the time, I must have been feeling really blue.
“I would’ve been wondering why I even exist.”
“Sumeragi-kun!”
Yeah. Senpai was worried for me and she was very real. So…
“That’s why the first me looked at all the gods out there and chose one who had been pushed away from everyone else and forced to be alone. I chose a god who didn’t know what to do and didn’t know who she could be with.”
Because…
“That was me. I was the same. If I couldn’t reach out and tell her she wasn’t alone, then I couldn’t save myself. And I could save someone just like me in the process.”
So…
“I chose you…and you accepted it and came to me. You chose to be with a fake guy like me with no past or anything else.”
●
Yes.
That had to be how it happened.
And I imagined what the first me would have done.
“Yes. And it must have been a hell of a surprise when I first saw you. I would have been expecting a horrific creature but there you were in all your busty glory, so I must have jumped for joy.”
“I’d rather not say, but you tried to do a backflip, didn’t quite make it, slammed your head against the floor, and ended up with blood all over you.”
“Damn, First Me! You really knew how to express your joy!”
●
“Why can’t he ever let it end on the touching part?”
“Pretty sure it’s a kind of sickness.”
●
“Lend me your hand, Senpai.”
“Eh?”
She held out her right hand not knowing what for and I took it in my right hand.
“I’m never letting go again!”
“Eh!? Wait, Sumeragi-kun!”
She pulled, but I didn’t care.
“You’re staying with me! That’s not changing! Because I can’t go on without you!”
“But you can’t have me with you!”
“Why not!?”
“Because I’m Iwanaga-hime!”
“I don’t mind! I wouldn’t have chosen you if you weren’t! And choosing you wouldn’t have saved me if you weren’t!”
“But if I stay with you, you might gain a long lifespan! And then you won’t be seen as human any longer!”
“We don’t know that! And even if it does happen, someone else will figure it out! And…”
This part was important.
“If I have to choose between a long life with you by my side and a short life without you, the long life with you sounds so much better!”
“You can’t!
“I can!”
I ran my other hand over the table.
“You feel the same, don’t you!? If you really didn’t want to terraform and wanted to end it, you wouldn’t create such a beautiful table! I can tell! You said you could only create this rocky piece of land, but of course that’s what you make! Because Iwanaga-hime has authority over more than just lifespans!”
I said it.
“The ‘iwa’ of Iwanaga-hime means rock because you’re a rock god. This stone hut and the stone land it stands on aren’t something just anyone could make; they’re the product of your original authority to manipulate rock, aren’t they!? So you must have enjoyed yourself when you were making this place. Because you were finally able to use your power as a god without having to mess with anyone’s lifespan. And you also made sure to give it walls and doors and everything needed to live here so that it could act as a shelter once I came here. That had to be one of your first – if not the first – job you were ever given. And just look at how perfectly flat and smooth this table is! Makes me want to lick all over it!”
“Eh!?”
I slapped myself in the face.
“I didn’t mean to say that!”
I really hadn’t. I really needed to fix that side of myself.
“But it doesn’t matter! What matters is that you really do want to stay here!”
And…
“When I died before, I thought I knew what you wanted, but I was wrong and I tried to act cool while actually disrespecting you. For that I’m sorry. I should have worked with you to figure out a solution to that busty Mesopotamian goddess being ‘granted death’. Because we’re supposed to be doing everything together.”
So…
“Won’t you join me again so we can get a fresh start, Senpai!?”
“…!”
Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes.
But I didn’t think I had screwed up.
This was fine.
It meant she was letting her true feelings out instead of hiding them like she had been.
So I didn’t let go of her hand. We stood up while tugging on each other’s hands.
“We can’t!”
She held my hand and shook it.
“I don’t want to cause you any more trouble! Because…”
Because…
“Because I was so happy when you chose me and when you stayed with me all this time! You did so much for me, so I can’t cause you any more trouble!”
●
“Then,” I said while holding Senpai’s hand. “You’re going to return to your virtual manifestation?”
“…?”
My sudden cooperation caused her to lose all momentum, but she quickly wiped away her tears, took a breath, and spoke.
“Yes, I will. Because that would be best for everyone.”
“Okay, you do that. But once you do, I’m going to Balancer and Kuwajiri.”
And…
“I’m asking them to erase all my memories.”
“But why?”
That was obvious. Losing my memories could only lead to one thing.
“Without my memories, I’ll be even dumber than I am now and they’ll have to completely redo the terraforming.”
And what would happen then?
“I’ll have to choose a brand new partner. So Balancer will explain everything to me before I make the choice just like with the first me.”
Yes. And what would I do then?
“I’ll choose you again.”
And…
“They can redo it as many times as they like – I’ll always find you and choose you!”
●
“You can’t!”
Senpai frantically shook her head.
“I won’t accept it next time!”
And then I’ll ask Balancer why. And once I know I can’t save myself, I know exactly what choice I’ll make.”
I said it.
“I’ll ask Balancer to erase my memories.”
And…
“Without my memories, I’ll choose you again.”
Yes.
“It’ll keep going like that over and over and over again. I’ll keep choosing you and saying I want you by my side.”
“Why? I’ll take your humanity away from you.”
That really was a problem.
The other gods could take care of all the political stuff, but there was no changing her authority. But…
“Senpai.”
I knew it probably wasn’t possible, but I had to say it.
“If your power does turn me into a god, I’ll spend that long life figuring out a way to remove it.”
“But…”
Yeah, it was time to say something stupid. Something that seemed absolutely ridiculous.
“And I’ll make you human too.”
●
It felt so much more real once I said it.
Was it possible in the myths to turn a god into a human?
No, it felt like there was a simpler way than that.
“Let’s finish the terraforming. Let’s finish it for all the planets in this star system. We can let humanity develop here and have a ton of fun while we do it. And that will make you human.”
“Why would finishing the terraforming make me human?”
“Because once this star system is full of humans, they’ll want another planet.”
And I knew the easiest one for them to reach.
“Earth.”
●
“Right now, Earth is a godless planet. The two of us can go there ahead of everyone else and create our own new myths there. We’ll prove ourselves here and then be the first on Earth! And then we’ll make a statement with our own myths! We’ll go to that godless planet and create a myth that says: The two of them became human and lived decently long and happy lives together.”
●
…Ah.
I realized that Sumeragi-kun had kept his hand on mine this entire time.
His sweaty and firm grip told me just how seriously he was taking this.
…Ahh.
He really had received a lousy lot in life.
He had been created and given a role he had not asked for and now he was reaching a hand out to someone like me because he could not bring himself to abandon someone who reminded him of himself.
Wasn’t there a god out there who could bring him happiness?
But…but that wouldn’t work.
Even if some other god could bring him happiness, they couldn’t save him.
He couldn’t be saved by a god who did not remind him of himself.
So…
“Sumeragi-kun.”
I gave up on something.
“This is going to make me a bad god.”
I gave up on being a good god.
●
I wouldn’t worry about anyone else.
I wouldn’t try to do what was best for everyone.
I wouldn’t think about what would benefit the world.
Because…
“Long ago, I was raised deep in the mountains near Mt. Fuji where I rarely interacted with anyone outside my family. But I did hear the stories from wandering gods and the like.”
So…
“When my father told me to prepare to be wed, I thought someone was finally going to love me like in all the stories.”
But that did not happen.
And there was a reason for it.
I thought that reason meant no one would ever love me like that, so I went into hiding and resigned myself to living alone.
But…
“Sumeragi-kun.”
When he chose me, I could have refused. But I didn’t because…
“When I received your request, I was told all about you.”
He had only just been created. He had been given a past, but he was still all alone.
I couldn’t believe they had done that to him.
“I didn’t want you to feel the way I did.”
Yes, it was time I focused on how I felt back then.
Part of me fears I’ll change him and bring him unhappiness, but I can ignore those thoughts.
Instead, I’ll focus on my efforts to make him happy.
That settles it.
It isn’t logical.
It isn’t even emotional.
I can’t change how I feel about things.
I’ll simply obey the part of me that wants to do that for him.
Maybe you could call it faith. And if so…
“Make sure to praise me every day. Cause I’ll leave otherwise.”
“Easy peasy! I can praise you right now if you want!”
●
“Whoa.”
Shifu had a reason for crying out: her footing.
The ground below her feet had been breaking and shaking due to the battle, but it suddenly calmed down.
It was no longer shaking, but she was freed from the shaking so suddenly she lost her balance.
And that was not all.
“Sumeragi!?”
Tooru looked back to see the stone hut.
Light was scattering all around it.
It came from Revelation Boards.
A countless number of ether lights played the trumpet and burst just in time for more to appear and create a blizzard of them. It rapidly spread out to reach the battling gods, remaking their surroundings into a wasteland of scattering light.
“This isn’t normal, is it!?”
“Did she activate the Extend setting!?”
Senpai-chan’s level kept going up, which could only mean one thing.
“He brought her back, didn’t he!? They’re back together!”
“Oh, but we miiiight be in dangerous waters now.”
A lot of time had passed out here.
“It’d be great if she fixed this up real quick!”
●
“Sumeragi-kun? Could you look the other way for a second?”
I did as Senpai asked inside the stone hut full of scattering light.
What was this about? The situation seemed kind of familiar.
…The Crane Wife!
That was it. Was she going to turn into a crane and make a kimono while I wasn’t looking? That would make her a furry, but Shinto is cool with anything! So it’s cool with me too!
“Okay, you can turn back around.”
“Don’t worry, I’m completely fine with furry stuff! A nice thick coat of fur would be great!”
“Eh?”
I punched myself in the jaw. You throw a nice punch, kid. …But anyway, I was bleeding a bit in my mouth, but it was within acceptable bounds. Then I looked to Senpai.
“Huh?”
She was wearing something different now.
It looked like it was based on the new style uniform, but it had long sleeves and a lot of scattering flowers and stone objects as decorations, making her look like the intellectual female general in a tokusatsu show. I doubt that comparison will mean much to anyone, though.
“This is my equipment or clothing as a god. Because my casual clothes are so unfashionable. Since you worship me, it seems I can enter this form when the conditions are right.”
“So it’s like a Super Transformation or something?”
“My divine rank is terrible…but I can still do something small like this.”
“This is small!? But it’s so cool! It has powerful Iwanaga-hime energy!”
But something else was bothering me here.
“Um, Senpai?”
“Y-yes?”
“Well, um.” I was hesitant to say it, but I decided I had to be honest here. “I can see through it!”
“D-don’t say that so loud! And, well, the thing is…this was designed for when I got married.”
“So…have you ever worn it before?”
“It’s been in storage since I first tried it on and I only just now remembered it existed.”
That’s such a Senpai thing to do, I thought while she stepped closer.
She wrapped her arms around my head, which naturally pulled me towards something.
…Those giant see-through boobs are all I can see!
I could die happy now. There was no way I would lose this memory if I rolled back again. I was certain of it. But…
“Oh.”
Lips pressed against my forehead.
She kissed me.
After a pause, she stepped back and smiled in front of me.
“That means you’re mine.”
“Thank you! Thank you so much!”
Our eyes met and we both smiled.
Then she gave a small bow.
“Now, let’s get a fresh start.”
“Yes, let’s do that! But make sure to remove the see-through setting before going outside!”
I didn’t want anyone else to see that.
Chapter 40: Heavenly Symphony[edit]
–Yes / take these feelings / to form words / to form a song
●
The first to sense it was Eshita.
Yomoji shrugged once their 15-minute time limit passed.
“Hmmmm, how long are weeee going to stay herrrre?”
That one true god had stopped “restraining” the planet.
The ether had dried up. Not completely, but given what was to come, it would be best to keep some in reserve. However…
“Something’s coming!”
It was not a tremor in the ground. Nor was it a shaking of the air. This was bigger.
“The planet is shaking! This happened a few times with ours, but this is a big one!”
“What do we do? Withdraw?”
None of them answered Shifu’s question.
The planet did.
The lava sea surrounding them rose up.
The distant horizon grew higher. The entire horizon in every direction.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“A lava sea tsunami!?”
Freed from its restraints, the will of the planet was finally making its move.
“Logically speaking, this would be the side effects of Yomoji-senpai’s initial meteor strike reverberating through the planet, activating the crust around the planet, and causing the land to shift simultaneously. But…”
“If it is the ‘will’ of the planet, the planet is using that to strike back at us?”
<Those are questions worth pursuing, but doing so would be dangerous at present. My observations show lava swells 300m tall approaching from every direction at greater than 700km/h.>
“Man, the planet is going all out, huh?”
“Well, it does want to kill us.”
Eshita recalled the ancient human wars. They had often engaged in silly conflicts between cities or states, but the result was usually determined by quantity and morale. And when she applied that logic to this situation…
“We can try to stop it and we might be somewhat successful, but the planet is certain all that lava and its momentum will be enough to win in the end.”
<We have yet to investigate whether or not the planet has a will and what level of will that is if it does indeed exist, so we cannot yet say if this is intentional.>
Oh, shut up.
“In ancient times, people used mythology to explain phenomena like this in an understandable way. So if you understand mythology, you can more or less explain most things in the world. Mythology is a collection of generalized interpretations for that purpose.”
<But we are not in ancient times. By the Western calendar, we are past the year 3000. That is around 6000 years beyond your time and, even if we used the 1990 date of the Divine World, that is still 5000 years later. Do the generalized interpretations of mythology really still apply after so much time?>
“That’s checkmate there.”
“It’s not her fault. She still isn’t used to how things work here.”
“Sh-shut up, you two!!”
“Um, hey. There’s a tsunami coming!!”
Yikes, this is not looking good.
●
Bilgamesh saw a swarm of dragons approaching.
Flame dragons were swimming within the giant lava tsunami and emerging from it.
“They’ve revealed themselves!”
Their serpentine bodies were tangled together to create a giant mass similar to a dense thicket. At this point, the tsunami was flowing out from the gaps between them.
“…!!”
Roars erupted from all 360 degrees around them.
The tsunami was starting to break the sound barrier as it approached, but the roars ignored that fact to reach the gods.
“They obey their own personal laws!”
That put them above the level of spirits. And…
“There’s some biiiig ones.”
Dragons rising over a kilometer from the lava appeared in the four cardinal directions.
They slowly readied themselves in the distance and their waving tails looked like mountain ranges stretching far behind them.
“…!”
They all accelerated.
They were coming, but in response…
“Everyone, you can withdraw now. If I fully activate my equipment, I can deal with this side.”
“Will the Protection Red Shield and Freeze be enough to get by?”
“Wait,” said Bilgamesh while turning around to see Ki smiling. “You didn’t withdraw?”
“This is better than using Call Bil, right?”
That was true. And they had a reason to stay here.
“We can’t let those two be the last ones here.”
The human and the weak god were still in the stone hut. Neither one had much power, but…
“They still managed to protect us, so divine rank and such might as well just be for show.”
“You’ve got a point,” replied the war god while in position to protect the opposite end of the rocky land. “What kind of upperclassman goes home when his underclassman’s still out there?”
“Hmmmm, you know I’m a suckerrrr for lines like that.”
“Yomoji-chan, you’ve got a lot of passive powers, so it helps just to have you standing there. I mean, you’re an automatic light source at the very least.”
As in “let there be light”? If so…
“Eshtar! What about you?”
“I’m the inspector, so can I leave?”
“You never give up on that, do you?”
“Okay, fine,” said Eshtar while pulling a tube of potato chips from her mountain hoodie. “Getting hit by this would kill even me, but I’ll stick around until I’ve finished eating these. So suit yourself.”
<In the worst case, you would be returned to a virtual manifestation, so you will not die. And you are currently under my management.>
But…
<If you do withdraw from here, that evolved ape will undoubtedly die.>
“I see,” said Bilgamesh. “Then let’s fight.”
●
Raidou sensed the wind.
Of course, this was not a real wind. They were already surrounded by the lava tsunamis and those were emitting heat from all directions. That heat was starting to form a wind, but this planet’s atmosphere was composed of helium and hydrogen, not oxygen. That would change to something else during the early stages of the planet’s development, but…
“I wonder if the helium would change our voices if we were actually breathing it.”
“That would make for some really crazy karaoke.”
Meanwhile, the wind blew in.
That impossible gust was an illusion created by the dragons rushing in from all directions.
They were trying to crush the gods.
Then some light arrived.
Raidou looked over to find it came from Enkidu.
“I’ve cast Protection Large. That should last for three or four hits.”
That covered all of them. Having a spell user around was useful at times like this.
“Once we’re through this, I’d love to work with you two on some suppression missions.”
“To punish the planet?”
“I guess that’s what it would mean, yeah.”
Meanwhile, the wall of dragons arrived within range of his Thunder God Sword. He reacted a little early, but that was perfect since it took some time to prepare.
“I might have trouble with fire, but lava I can hit!”
To achieve victory, he held the Thunder God Hammer out in front of him as a hilt.
Then Eshtar yelled over.
“Here it comes!”
Here what comes? wondered Raidou. They’re already here. But then Eshtar explained.
“The dragon cannons!”
●
Eshita saw lights appear from far above their heads in every direction.
Those were the flame dragons’ dragon cannons. Light was fired from thousands of mouths.
And it was all aimed at the gods here.
“Why now!?”
They must have avoided firing their dragon cannons before because they did not want to lose any speed or power. However…
“They must have determined exactly how far our range is!”
<It is too soon to say. This could be a coincidence.>
That screen was seriously annoying.
But the dragons were attacking from outside the gods’ range. They must have decided they could fire those cannons because they had preserved the momentum of their lava tsunami.
They would fire on and then crush the gods.
The dragons would rush in to destroy any gods that survived the dragon cannons. And if they survived even that…
“––––––”
The larger dragons were still waiting in the distance.
“This must be a rushhhhed response. If the entire planet was attacking, this might be even morrrre exciting.”
The blinding light surrounding them burst out all at once.
Those dragon cannons rushed in even more quickly than their accompanying roars and they took the form of…
“Lava blasts!”
●
The interception came in two forms.
“Tooru!!”
Shifu pulled out some of her hair and unleashed it in every direction.
It erected a wall of golden pillars forming a circle with a radius of 1km where the tsunami had not yet reached.
The dragon cannons crashed into the hair pillars that acted as golden shields.
That was not enough to stop them.
Some parts of the wall held, but the lava was hotter than the 1064-degree melting point of gold. She would have to rely on her other defensive authorities to hold it back any longer, but…
“There’s way too many for that!”
“Then leave it to me!”
Tooru fired a blast of lightning.
Instead of a vertical slash, he made a 360-degree horizontal slash. There was a time delay for the full rotation, but…
“Thunder God Sword!”
Lightning ran out along that horizontal line.
It reached a maximum range of 10km and it first hit the lava dragon cannons.
But since they were made of lava, the lightning could hit them. The lightning shattered all the incoming dragon cannons. And…
“Again!”
Shifu’s hair barricade was made of gold. The excess lightning was drawn in toward it, causing it all to burst.
That triggered further explosions that worked to destroy the dragon shapes.
Their defenses held.
But some later dragon cannons were intact and incoming.
“Red Line Shield!”
A shield with a circular defense boosting spell formed a 500m dome overhead. Several dozen surviving dragon cannons scored direct hits, but while the metal shield’s surface was broken and melted…
“It held!”
●
Yay, thought Eshita.
She currently held a tube of potato chips called Chip Stars. She thought they would be fried potato slices like normal, but no. The potatoes had probably been crushed and then reshaped. She initially thought that made them fake, but it instead gave them a consistent flavor and mouthfeel.
“They’re so good!!”
They were the best. But the counterattack was complete when she had only finished 1/3 of the tube.
The Norse thunder god looked exhausted, but he could probably manage another attack. The Bil-Ki pair didn’t have the best equipment for this fight, but they could get by once the dragons approached. So…
“We’re gonna win!!”
Just then, she noticed a light in the distance.
“Eh?”
This was not Yomoji’s automatic glowing. Light was being emitted in all 360 degrees around them.
“What is this?”
It was the flame dragons.
The lava tsunami was rushing in at the same distance as before and the dragons were gathered behind the wave.
They opened their jaws like a row of cannons and had already launched their second attack.
But something was not right.
“Isn’t it way too soon for a second attack!?”
Yes.
Whether they were aware of it or not, the dragon cannon was the most powerful attack the planet’s dragons had.
How could they use it again after such a short time?
A thought occurred to Eshita and Balancer confirmed it.
<This is not their second attack! A new set of flame dragons was positioned around you!>
●
It was like they shed their skin.
Ki saw it happening from below Bilgamesh’s shield.
“The dragons were remade!”
Some dragons had fired their dragon cannons earlier.
That was a draining action for a flame dragon, so it should have taken some time before they could do it again.
But it had not.
The dragons’ lava skin was peeled away and they split apart as new ones emerged from within them.
They were renewed.
They must have extracted lava from themselves to fire that previous dragon cannon, so another dragon was formed at the same time to replace them.
The enemy’s strategy was clear.
“They hope to crush us with long-distance attacks while we attack the lava tsunami!”
The dragons would not fight at close range and they had increased their firing speed.
“The second attack is incoming!”
That was obvious. If they could see the light, then it was already here.
The thunder god raised his hammer in response to the immediate second attack, but he was too slow.
He would not make it in time.
“Nooo! Is it really back to a virtual manifestation for me!?”
The attacks hit while Eshtar screamed.
●
The battle was over.
Everything had come to a stop.
It had all happened on a piece of land taking up a miniscule portion of the planet.
That land had become a stage surrounded by a lava sea.
The red heat pushed in from all direction, but the land made of central bedrock was not swallowed up and was lifted high.
A stone hut stood at the center of the stage.
The stage had been lifted to a height of 300m by a swelling of lava.
And countless pieces of art had been created in every direction around it.
Massive stone spears surrounded the elevated stage in all 360 degrees.
The many dragon cannons had all been turned to white stone.
As had the dragons who launched those attacks.
All of it – the stone dragon cannons that stretched for more than 10km, the stone flame dragons that had produced them, and everything else – was now collapsing under its own weight.
But that was not all.
The tens of thousands of statues were scattering into the air. Before they could even destroy themselves, they were transformed into white flower petals.
The central stage was untouched, but all else was petrified, came apart, became flowers, and yet scattered into the wind instead of blossoming.
Everything was destroyed.
Voices from the far distance in each direction roared toward the central destruction.
“…!!”
●
It was the four larger dragons.
They raised their heads to a kilometer high in the four cardinal directions and they roared as if in response to it all.
They did not understand.
Why had this happened?
Why had their roars not reached the others?
Why had the other dragons gone cold and turned to stone?
Why had even their attacks turned to stone?
Why had heat faded from it all until it turned white and scattered in the wind?
Why?
“–––––!!”
They still did not understand, but their voices called in heat.
And they went wild. They smashed the white and hardened land, called in heat from the depths, and crushed and overheated everything.
It was like a dance.
The four larger flame dragons set their tens of thousands of petrified and shattered companions ablaze once more.
The hardened land was reheated and reclaimed its scarlet color.
The reheating and melting provided an adjustment.
They were recreating the lava land.
Yes. The area around the stage may have grown white and hard, but the planet as a whole was a lava sea the same temperature as them.
This tiny change was nothing.
So the dragons danced. They plunged it all back into the depths of heat. But as their roars and irritated actions continued, their visual senses focused on a single point.
A single figure stood at the center of the raised stage.
That was their enemy.
“U-um, sorry I’m late?”
That enemy had done all of this.
●
Eshita gasped when Iwanaga-hime casually opened the door and stepped out.
…What kind of lewd costume is that!?
No, wait. It might be lewd if it was see-through, but it’s not. Then it’s safe. But those big boobs of hers are still pretty poorly defended. So is it out? Actually, it doesn’t matter. I’ll allow it.
Wait, that’s not the point.
She saw Iwanaga-hime walking down the center of the stage.
Her outfit was the light black of stone and the white of absolute nothingness. It was also decorated with jutting stones and…
“Flowers?”
No, those were not flower blossoms.
They were scattering flower petals.
Petals scattered with every step she took.
The remnants of former blossoms fluttered around her.
The former flowers gave off ether light and then vanished. She looked like…
“A god?”
She was a god.
It felt like Iwanaga-hime had finally become a god.
Of course, Eshita was a god too. So were Bilgamesh, Ki, the one true god glowing over there, the Norse group, everyone in the Divine World, and all those with virtual manifestations.
But none of them, including Eshita herself, seemed quite this “godlike”.
Why was that?
A god was a powerful being.
But with that alone, they would simply be a humanoid being with some kind of power. They might live in a society, make friends, get married, and perform work, but they would not be a god.
To be a god required one other condition.
“Wowwww! Senpai! You’re so cool! Way to exist at a higher level! Yayyyyyyy! Yahoooooooooooooo!!”
That idiot fulfilled the crucial condition.
He might only look like an idiot, but he was human.
“It is through human worship that a god becomes a god!”
●
She has become something more, thought Eshita.
“…”
Iwanaga-hime’s divine rank remained low. She had earned a ton of level ups earlier, but she had not gone up even one divine rank.
But she now existed at a higher level.
The rest of the gods might have extremely high divine ranks, but they were not worshiped. They were no more than powerful beings.
But while she had a low divine rank, she was an actual worshiped god.
That increased the level of her very being in a different way than divine rank.
…What the hell?
They had all once existed in the same way.
But no longer. They understood that, which was why they knew what to do about it.
“Balancer,” said Eshita. “Once the terraforming is done, can we gain more believers and undergo a similar transformation?”
<Isn’t the DC researching a way for you to do that without human worship? Although you seem to be having trouble because it only produces a twisted version of the transformation.>
That was true, which was why the DC was also trying to see if they could get their hands on that human.
This was a problem.
Eshita felt her heart stirring at the presence of this god from another religion.
She longed for human worshipers.
During her virtual manifestation and in the Divine World, she had thought she could get by without humans because she was a wild goddess who lived free, but she had been wrong.
Now that she truly understood what she was missing, she knew just how wrong she had been.
She had not truly experienced the Earth Age herself and her memories of it were fabrications, but the passion of human worship she remembered there highlighted the absence of that in her now.
She was a god.
<To follow the naming scheme of the virtual manifestation and real manifestation, I call this a Released Manifestation. This is my first time seeing it, though.>
The human was chasing after the god. He was excitedly gathering the scattered flower petals from the air and throwing them so they fluttered down on the goddess he worshiped.
And…
“Here it comes!”
Roars shook the sky across the entire area.
The enemy was ready.
The larger dragons had recreated the thousands and tens of thousands of smaller dragons and they were preparing to charge.
No, they had already begun charging in.
They immediately launched a dragon cannon attack, but concluded those would be stopped and rushed in to crush their enemy more directly as well.
However, Iwanaga-hime opened her mouth.
“Submit!”
●
“I command eternity itself!
“A stack of stones becomes a great rock. Break down a great rock and it becomes many stones.
“The sound of the rock rings through the water. The sound of the water plays within the rock.
“My power watches over the scattering flowers!
“Choose to protect and transform that power, world of humanity!
“In spring, they scatter. In summer, they fade. In fall, they wither. In winter, they shatter.
“In all four seasons, my power seeks
“the eternally scattering flowers of stone!”
She clapped and raised her voice.
“Flowing Mist of Stone Flowers.”
●
That’s it, thought Shifu. That’s what happened when Senpai-chan came out earlier.
The fluttering flower petals – no, the remnants of all the Revelation Boards that had appeared and shattered – had become this.
It was a lot like a storm of flowers.
White flower petals covered a vast area of the sky.
But these flowers were not soft.
They looked withered and dry, but they were white and had been purified of all else.
…Are they fragments of stone?
Stone could not flutter, but this was Senpai-chan’s land right now. If she was in charge, then her rules applied.
She was a weak god with a low divine rank.
But that transformation that Balancer had called a Released Manifestation was different.
Shifu could tell they had once been like that. And if Senpai-chan had done it now…
“…!”
The dragons were charging in with tremendous pressure, but Senpai-chan simply spoke.
“Please calm down.”
Or…
“I’ll hate you.”
Then something happened.
When the flame dragons contacted the white flower petals spread out beyond the 300m of the stage, something happened to them and their dragon cannons.
“–––––”
It all turned to stone flowers and scattered away.
●
This was on an even higher level than before.
Last time, she had turned the lava to stone and that had ultimately been crushed into pebbles.
But this time, the lava was directly turned into scattering flower petals.
<A god is the very laws of the world.>
Balancer watched the white flowers covering everything in every direction.
<If Iwanaga hates something, its lifespan will be shortened the instant it touches the storm of stone that acts as her vessel.>
She had no power, so her power would scatter.
Thus, she made the storm of stone flowers into an Auth Spell.
She specialized in creating and manipulating rock and stone, so under the effect of her laws…
“Eh!? Does that mean I’m dead if I touch it!?”
<You can always touch it and find out, Eshtar.>
“To be honest, Senpai-chan’s pretty forgiving, so I bet she’ll spare you.”
Just as Shifu said that, something arrived.
It appeared above them.
“Wait, wait, wait.”
A great curve appeared beyond the dark smoke in the sky.
It was a flame dragon. The dragons who had been surrounding them from a distance had risen up into the sky where they gathered together and intertwined.
“…!”
They rose directly above the gods.
●
The dragons reached an altitude of 52km.
Even on that hot planet, the heat could not reach that high and the air began to cool.
But the flame dragons gathered and intertwined to further overheat themselves.
That was due to the friction of their intertwining and the pressure they applied to each other.
They used those heat sources to grow even larger. They formed a dragon over 2km in diameter that’s body curved back toward the ground with a length of more than 120km.
Instead of simply entering freefall, it accelerated as if kicking down its body arching through the sky. On the way down, it blew the excess heat from its body to produce white smoke and pour on more speed like a scramjet.
It dropped down with such great mass, heat, and speed.
While its opponent had set up a barrier of scattered stone, it hoped to crash down with more force and speed than the stones could be replenished.
Thousands and tens of thousands of dragons formed a single ultra-massive dragon that entered a powered descent.
“––––––––”
It could not actually see. Eyes were organs that sensed light, so they could not exist on a flame dragon. Instead, its senses perceived the areas of lesser heat in order to “see” its opponents.
A few such figures were standing at the center of the stage.
“Looks like you need one final blow!!”
●
A lightning attack swung upwards and struck the flames.
The first 10km of the dragon burst while the lightning scattered and split.
The falling pieces were all red-hot stones.
But they shattered.
However, the dragon was still alive.
It cast aside the parts of it that were hit by the lightning, letting the damaged portions break away and creating a new face from within.
It was effectively immortal. The dragon’s face was reformed, it roared, and it accelerated even more. Seeing its great length made the 10km of damage seem entirely meaningless.
“…!?”
But just then, the entire falling portion of the flame dragon burst into flowers.
Iwanaga-hime’s Flowing Mist had reached its high altitude.
●
Kuwajiri sighed.
She was on the edge of her seat watching a simulation of the battle on a Revelation Board.
The land had been lifted up like Mt. Fuji and the flame dragon was charging down at it from above. However…
“When the land is heated from all directions, a current of heat will rise from the land. The atmosphere there is not made of oxygen, but it still exists and an updraft should have formed. If so, you only need to destroy the front of the falling dragon. Something interesting will happen if you do.”
What would happen then?
“With even a small portion of the overhead heat source suddenly gone, the updraft will move to fill in that gap, creating powerful turbulence. The air below will be sucked upwards. If Senpai-san sends her stone flowers in there, they will be automatically carried to the dragon on the turbulent updraft.”
“Wow, that’s really what happened! Thank you so much!”
Of course it had happened.
Kuwajiri just about replied with “this was nothing”, but she stopped herself.
And when she did reply, she kept the simulation result repeating instead of stopping it.
“You’re welcome.”
●
So many flowers scattered in the sky.
But the flame dragon had clearly not given up.
It continued to drop down, so the scattering white flowers were gradually approaching the stage.
Superheated lava pebbles and stones rained from the heavens.
Everyone watched it happen while using Bilgamesh’s Red Line Shield as an umbrella.
The dragon dove rapidly into its own shortened lifespan and destruction as if to devour it all.
“…!”
It roared and trembled while arriving so close its face filled everyone’s vision.
It intended to force its way through. However…
“Flame Dragon, there is one thing you are mistaken about.”
Iwanaga-hime spoke to the flame dragon as it dropped like a meteor in a cycle of breaking and regenerating.
“You made Sumeragi-kun rollback in the past, didn’t you? When I was searching for a way to be with him again and when you were initially fighting the others here, you targeted him instead of us.”
So…
“Did you want him? Did your instincts tell you what you needed to become a god, so you wanted a human?”
Well, too bad.
“You can’t have him. And I hate you for trying.”
Those words had an immediate effect.
<Shinto Kotodama is affecting this world!>
“–––––!!”
Iwanaga-hime’s Words caused everything to scatter away.
The entire flame dragon stretching for more than 120km through the sky had its lifespan shortened.
●
The entire dragon’s lifespan ended at the same moment.
It turned white and scattered away starting from one end with an explosive roar.
That roar of destruction consumed the entire dragon before its fall brought it to the surface.
“–––––!!”
The shortened lifespan took control faster than the wind or sound, so the dragon could not resist at all.
The dragon’s foundation was born from planet and jutted out from the lava ocean, but that foundation destroyed itself to cut off the dying dragon from the planet.
The lifespan Kotodama completed its task even though it could not affect the planet as a whole.
The dragon was cut off from its mother, earning it instant death.
As soon as it was cut off, the severed serpent’s lifespan ended, so it broke apart and scattered away.
It had been defeated.
●
All the stone flowers scattered in the wind, forming a massive white arch in the sky that fluttered lightly overhead.
“Ah.”
Shifu supported the goddess who nearly collapsed when her usual uniform returned.
“Okay! Great job!”
Sumeragi ran over.
“Senpai!”
He took her hand and she stood back up in response. Although she did still have Shifu’s support from the side.
“How was that, Sumeragi-kun?”
“It was the best! I mean…just look at this!”
White flower petals were fluttering around like snow.
“They look like flowers!”
●
“This is…” I said. “This is what I can do.”
I felt proud of what I had done, but I also felt fear.
I knew I could not let myself direct this power at the wrong target. But…
“It’s so beautiful!”
That was true enough. And…
“It’s leaving.”
Hearing that, everyone turned to see something near the horizon of the lava sea.
There was a flame dragon there.
But it was far larger than the previous ones.
The head alone was several kilometers long, so it looked more like a giant island. And…
“Eight of them?”
“That’s probably the main one, so is it like Yamata-no-Whatever?”
<The dragons are this planet’s resistance, so that is probably like the planet’s great spirit. I imagine it is choosing not to challenge us because it understands Senpai-san’s power, but it may still change form and challenge us again as the terraforming continues.>
But it was leaving.
Would they eventually see it again someday? But for now…
“It’s over, isn’t it?”
It was. The danger had passed. But this had been my fault, so…
“I’m really sorry about all the trouble.”
“Hm!? Did you say something!?”
“Y-yes, this was all my fault, so-”
“Wow! Check out that dragon! It’s so big!”
What was this about?
She wasn’t listening.
“???”
I was confused, so Balancer explained.
<She is choosing to overlook what happened.>
●
I listened to Balancer.
<Do you understand? The inspector is overlooking all of this.>
“B-but that doesn’t mean I didn’t cause it!”
“It’s not about that, Senpai! Mucho is afraid of getting on your bad side, so she’s trying to score some points with you!”
“Don’t phrase it like that!”
Oh, that made sense.
But after all this, I wasn’t going to get after her for what happened. So I instead pulled Sumeragi-kun close and placed my hands on his shoulders from behind.
“N-next time you try something, you won’t get away with it!”
“Why would I!? And what about the others? Me overlooking it doesn’t mean they will.”
“That’s true.” Shifu grinned. “Tooru, how would you sum up today’s terraforming?”
“Well, one of our people got a power up, so I’d say it was a success overall. How about you?”
“I wasn’t aaaany help, so I would prefer to overlook it tooooo.”
“Yes, this was our first time participating in the terraforming and it made for a decent combat test, so I am satisfied.”
“We need to build some better Auth Spells for this.”
“Really…?”
“Don’t let it bother you! Think of it as getting a fresh start here! I mean, you’ve got your work cut out for you when we return to Tachikawa!”
“Eh? Um, I do?”
“Yes,” he replied. “I’ve always wanted to run into a hot upperclassman when I step out the door! So can you do that for me like you did for the past versions of me!?”
That was Sumeragi-kun all right.
“Then how about I go all out and run right smack into you in front of your room?”
What was with that look everyone gave me?
●
“No, no, no! What is wrong with you!? You need to tell Eshita-kun to stay on as inspector! If she leaves, I can’t mess with her any longer!”
“You don’t have to do that. What are you even looking for in all this?”
“Excitement of course! We’re latecomers as far as mythologies go, so we need a lot of external and internal stimulation to reach the same level as the other mythologies. So…”
Omokane laughed and looked to the part of the library leading to the bottom of the stairs.
“The most interesting one here was Sumeragi-kouhai.”
“Because he managed to persuade Iwanaga-hime?”
“No! Well, sort of, but think it through. What did he say when he persuaded her? When faced with the problems presented by her presence, he said ‘someone else will figure it out’.”
Scarecrow gave a look of realization, but Omokane ignored it and waved both hands.
“You two have been getting in my way a lot recently, but that human is different! That Sumeragi-kouhai – a mere human – wants a Divine God like me to act on his behalf!”
Honestly.
“That’s the thing about mythologies. They’re about the gods but they’re made by humans! And I am delighted to play along with that human selfishness!”
●
I sat with Senpai on the land elevated to 300m.
We sat on the edge of the piece of land that was now a stage.
The white flowers were still fluttering in the sky. Based on Kuwajiri’s calculations, they would continue to fall for the entire day.
The others had left, so it was just the two of us. But we were not simply here.
“Um, Senpai.”
“Yes, what is it?”
We both silently stared into each other’s eyes and let time pass while I listened to the thump-thump of my heart. “Wait, what kind of crappy romcom is this!? When I really get going, my heart doesn’t just go thump-thump! And now I lost my train of thought because I looked down and saw Senpai’s giant boobs! In fact, seeing my god just about made me forget what I was doing here. That’s my Senpai!”
“Um, Sumeragi-kun? You started saying that out loud.”
“Oh, no! It’s just like when a fan’s glowing review is discovered by the author! But that’s the best part of speaking directly with your god!”
“Um, if you can’t calm down, maybe we should leave. It’s already around 5 PM over there.”
“Where did you travel here from?”
“From my room.”
“Oh, right! I have to recreate that scenario you wanted.”
“We can do that when we leave. You can pretend you only just dropped your things off at your room! Then we can meet up with the others and-”
I realized I had made a critical mistake.
“Why am I not a girl? I was thinking we could get something to eat and then go take a bath after that, but that doesn’t work? All hope is lost!”
“D-don’t say that! We can talk via divine transmission from the different baths!”
That cheered me up a little. But then I realized something from this conversation.
“For the next terraforming, let’s wait until the club president can control ether again and solve the rotation and revolution problem.”
“Eh?”
“I mean, look at this place. There’s no oxygen in the air, there’s no blue sky, and you can’t see the sun because the planet isn’t spinning. This was supposed to be a touching scene where we watch the sunrise!”
Senpai opened a Revelation Board showing a diagram of the star system. And after looking at it for a bit…
“Sumeragi-kun? We’re facing what we’re tentatively calling south.”
“That’s a margin of error! It doesn’t count!”
It didn’t matter. We could solve all that with time. And…
“Let’s continue the terraforming, complete it, and let humanity prosper.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am. If it works, it works. And if it doesn’t, we can find something else to do with everyone!”
So for now…
“Right now, we are on a godless planet.”
And one day…
“We will be on another godless planet where we can become human and smile together just like this.”
“Am I smiling now?”
Of course she was.
And that was my biggest accomplishment in today’s terraforming!
Interlude[edit]
“How bout we go get some yakiniku to celebrate?”
“Oh, we wanted to make our move here official, but is the city hall still open?”
Final Chapter: Family Games[edit]
–Instead of going one way or the other, we can make the decision here.
●
The summers here sure are hot, thought Ki.
“It’s so humid.”
They had not really moved here, but they had a new residence.
It was on the first floor of an apartment building to the north of Showa Memorial Park in Tachikawa, Tokyo. They had chosen it because she had wanted some actual dirt ground nearby, so the woods of Showa Memorial Park were right across the street from the apartment.
It was a pretty nice place.
“But reality is so different. The humidity and sun hit you so different than in our virtual manifestation.”
“It has been a rapid change to our environment.”
“Moving to the Shinto Divine World is pretty incredible, but doing this after only 3 days is also quite something.”
The two of them were preparing a lunch party on the yard. It had started with one of the moving-in gifts Shamhat had bought them.
“Don’t you like this kind of thing?”
She had bought them an outdoor table set.
The Shinto group would be stopping by today for lunch – or really an afternoon meal – and then they would have a quick meeting about what to do about the terraforming in the future.
They had not made any progress on that since the last time. Balancer was preserving things there and the planet’s spirits still showed no sign of making another move, but…
<You first need to determine the planet’s rotation and revolution. Once the planet is set in motion, the planetary spirits will have to deal with that, splitting up their forces.>
And since they could discuss that without being in the real world, they were going to do it here.
“Hey! Where do we get in from!?”
A familiar voice called from the direction of the Showa Memorial Park and Ki turned around to see the others there.
There was a fence between the yard and the road. For now, the adjacent room was empty, so…
“Come in through the side. We’re getting everything ready.”
“I brought an extra portable stove. And be warned – we brought nothing but meat.”
“I’m tired of laaaamb, so I only brought chiiiicken.”
“I bought some bananas as a joke.”
But we need vegetables to go with all the meat, thought Ki, but two more spoke up while smiling.
“I brought some lightly pickled vegetables and some sliced pineapple since it’s good for the digestion. That should help some.”
“Your homemade pickled vegetables!? Yes! I bet you massaged them by hand while making all sorts of cute grunts of effort! And when slicing the pineapple, you said ‘nhh, this is really hard’, didn’t you!? Ahh! What an amazing day! I’ll eat pork and beef for my meat, but I’m also chowing down on the pickled vegetables and the fruit!”
“Um, Sumeragi-kun? With lightly pickled vegetables, you only stick them in a container full of the pickling juice, so you don’t have to massage them.”
“What!? You were shoving them in with a utensil? How bold! I’ve gotta get some of that stuff in my mouth right now!”
That seemed like a lot of white noise, but it must have been working because level-up alerts kept appearing around Iwanaga- no, around Senpai-san. Meanwhile, someone else stepped out from the Mesopotamian room.
“What is wrong with you!? I can’t find any snacks in here at all! Where are they!?”
“Don’t barge into our room and rummage around!”
●
“How have things been since then?”
Once the cooking began, Kidou-san called out to me while I watched everyone cooking so much meat on skewers. But…
“How have, um, what things been?”
“The Released Manifestation.”
“Oh, that. I can’t seem to do it here. It seems I’m actually restricted to my own ‘divine territory’ when I do it, so it would be nice if there was a weaker version of it. Also…”
I looked over at Sumeragi-kun. He was currently eating a banana next to Raidou-san and Shifu-san who were inviting Bilgamesh-san to join the game club.
<An ape with a banana…>
I chose not think about that too much. And at the same time…
“We are only data entities, not truly gods, so it wears us out when we use the Released Manifestation. We might later find a way to use Sumeragi-kun’s worship to establish a more stable system for accomplishing it.”
“You are surprisingly analytical, Senpai-san.”
“S-surprisingly?”
“Yeah, it is a surprise,” said Kidou-san. “We heard everything you two said in the stone hut and you sounded a lot more emotional and like you’re usually suppressing a lot, so you should probably find a way of letting off some steam from time to time.”
I followed Kidou-san’s gaze as she said that and saw Eshita-san there. She was laughing while cracking open a can of beer with Yomoji-san and munching on some sliced garlic cooked on the grill. It was a worrying sight.
“But you don’t have to be quite that careless.”
“I did hear she reached an agreement with the DC as our inspector.”
“Your superior apparently pulled some strings too. Shamash has said she ‘personally sent us’ here, so we don’t have to be so careful anymore.”
Kidou-san looked up into the sky, sighed, and took a swig from a nearby can of ginger ale.
“When it all works out this well, I feel silly for worrying so much over the past few days.”
“That’s just how it is.”
It had been the same for me. I had been alone for so long, but…
“You only have a chance to feel silly because you put so much thought into it. If not for that, I think you would have thoughtlessly wasted the help you were given. And if that happened…”
I explained how I felt now.
“You wouldn’t be able to celebrate just how happy you are now.”
“That is true. I’m not going to say unhappiness is necessary, but worrying does deepen your happiness and teach you how important it is. Or I hope it does, anyway.”
Kidou-san smiled and turned toward her partner.
“Bil, they’re from the game club, right? How about we join?”
“Why?”
That is quite the response, I thought but held my tongue. Kidou-san responded like she had expected that question.
“It’s okay to just have fun sometimes. I know a lot happened and a lot is probably still going to happen, but I think all of this was necessary to give us a life here.”
“Very well. Then let’s do that.”
After that, Shifu-san placed a cloth bag on an empty table.
“Okay! I brought Bausack from the clubroom today! I have enough for three sets, so we can all play! And this is way more fun when you’ve been drinking enough to get buzzed!”
“Bausack?”
“Simply put, it’s a game where you work together to build a tower out of wooden blocks. The standard rules are known as Tower of Babel.”
“Oh? Does it require a lot of careful setup?”
“I see. As a warning, I am a very skilled builder.”
“That’s interesting. We didn’t have any city crafting gods. But if you’re good at physical stuff, video games can actually be a lot of fun. So let’s play, 5th Generation.”
Bilgamesh accepted the challenge with a smile and Kidou-san sighed.
They probably hadn’t been able to relax like this for a long time.
And just then…
“Whoaaaaa!? What the hell!? I ate a banana and it turned me into a girl!”
“Eh? Eh? What now, Sumeragi-kun?”
“I’m female Sumeragi right now! As proof, I’ve got boobs! Give em a feel and you’ll see they’re real!”
I did and they were.
“Wow, it’s true! Um, but how?”
“Kuwajiri-chan?”
“During the previous rollback, I predicted Sumeragi had a good chance of gaining a lengthened lifespan and surpassing humanity, so I added in a setting that changes his sex when he eats a banana. It should be convenient if something like last time happens again.”
“Waiiiiiiiiiiit! Don’t just make me more than human without even asking first! But this means I can eat a banana and take a bath with Senpai, so thanks! Thank you so much!!”
“You’re welcome. FYI, American Chiquita bananas will make you transform instantly while Filipino bananas will only do it at night.”
“I don’t need all these complicated rules!”
At least everything was exciting. It had been a while. I may not have been in such high spirits since I was living with my father and thought I was getting married the next day. But…
“Sumeragi-kun?”
“Yes! What is it, Senpai!?”
“Y-you’re already back to normal?”
“Yeah! I sensed danger since this uniform was tight in the chest and I felt a draft below! So, um, what is it!?”
“Well,” I said with a smile. “Thank you for putting me in such high spirits again.”
“Sure! I don’t know what you mean, but don’t worry! I can raise my own spirits in a split second and you’re my god, so it’s only fitting for you to be higher than me! And when I praise you from below, I can get all excited about how huuuuuuuuuuuge you are!”
I had no idea what he meant, but…
“I don’t know what you mean, but I don’t have to worry, do I?”
Everyone gave me a worried look for some reason.
-I’m so happy
Afterword[edit]
“Okay, it’s time for 1-B’s Afterword.”
“The story ended in a real ‘now the story can begin’ kind of way, so what are we even supposed to talk about here?”
“To get a real 90s feel, it would be best if we argued with ourselves over what scenes were especially tough or questioned what the author was thinking about certain decisions.”
“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, the cringe! You can’t be serious!”
<Yes, the 90s may have been the last time you could get away with that kind of thing.>
“It’s a real relic of the time before everyone was onliiiine all the time.”
“That was when everyone knew the clichés and new things were being developed, but the amount of information and rate of innovation wasn’t quite enough to replace the old things.”
“Well, you didn’t have internet BBSs back in 1990, so the letters section in magazines were still pretty popular and a lot of that stuff was passed down from upperclassman to underclassman in the school clubrooms.”
“When did the internet become so ubiquitous?”
<It started in more localized areas as a grassroots things – or rather, as computer networks within corporations – but it had trouble spreading from there due to the price barrier.>
“I believe the question was when it became ubiquitous.”
<Well, the social infrastructure changed a lot during the 90s, so that would make for a long story. And even then, it really came down to a competition over content. Much like a game console won’t sell without games no matter how powerful it is.>
“No, the spread of the internet was different from the console wars.”
“The console wars?”
“Each game console had its fans and they were always trying to prove theirs was superior.”
“At this time, the Mega Drive had already come out in ’88, but the Super Famicom was coming out in November of this year (1990). The war that caused was a hell of a thing.”
“And starting this August, the magazine Mega Drive Fan became monthly. That gave Sega fans a real boost, but the Mega Drive version of Rastan Saga II comes out 2 or 3 days after this volume ends.”
“The music in that was so good.”
“Thanks for the follow up comment! Thank you so much! Anyway, I’ll be playing Phelios on the Mega Drive and seeing Artemis in her underwear, but I have Senpai, so I won’t be interested in it.”
“Eh? Eh?”
“Okay, the background music this time has to be a 90s song, so it’s Tane Tomoko-san’s Why So Beautiful. It’s something of a phantom song since you can’t find it at on karaoke machines or on iTunes and you have to find a CD from the time.”
“Now I’m getting confused about what year it is, but here’s the final thought: ‘Who was it that got back together?’ This series is going to use subtitles instead of numbering the volumes, so make sure you don’t miss the next one, okay?”
2019. A rainy morning.
-Kawakami Minoru
Translator's Notes and References[edit]
- ↑ The “jiri” of Kuwajiri means “butt”.
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