On a Godless Planet:Volume3A Chapter 16
Chapter 16: Corporation[edit]
–I don’t think the word “cooperation” is in their dictionary.
●
The rain continued to fall.
The water level flooding the school was still rising, so not even the baseball field’s backstop was visible anymore.
Similarly, most of the buildings near the school were submerged. The buildings and signs three stories or more created a silhouette in the rain like platforms rising from the water.
Everyone worked while watching it. But…
“Oh?”
There was a change in the air.
It came from the structure known as the club building or the clubroom building.
A change there had caused all the gods and spirits to turn in that direction.
It took the form of a white light.
The sunlight in the sky shined down on that building alone.
The meeting of the gods had begun.
●
“I diiiidn’t want to get wet, so I maaaade it sunny.”
“The absurdity continues.”
“Does this mean the creator god responsible for this flooding is inferior to that monotheistic god?”
“Who would be superior to Yomoji-chan?”
“I’m just amazed Shinsei can direct his absurdity with such tight accuracy.”
“Thiiiis absurdity has a smaller arrrrea of effect than a meteor striiiike.”
“I guess that’s true.”
“Why is a meteor strike the standard? So would this come in at 0.8 meteor strikes?”
“I was wondering why his believers get no human rights, but I guess it’s to make up for his overpowered absurdity rights.”
“What in the world are absurdity rights?”
“U-um, weren’t we doing a meeting of the gods?”
“Oh, sorry. It’s just so rare to be able to see Yomoji-chan’s absurdity like this.”
●
“Anyway,” said Shifu, raising her hand.
“I guess we can have Mr. V run the meeting.”
“Are you sure?”
“Isn’t that your role here?”
“Yes, but I thought I should check anyway. Because of certain acquaintances of mine in attendance.”
Acquaintances? thought Shifu, looking over to see one of the acquaintances tilting her head.
“Listen up, Neptune! You will regret it if you don’t give us preferential treatment!”
“Aunt! Aunt! Not so direct!”
So that’s what he means, realized Shifu. But…
“Do you have anything to say to him, Posei-chan?”
“Nope. Because I know how to behave myself.”
“What!? Poseidon! You make it sound like I can’t behave myself! Explain yourself!”
“Aunt! Aunt! He just isn’t aware of it when he does it!”
“Keep up the fight, Former MB.”
“Now you’re abbreviating it!?”
<I would think an abbreviation would cause less damage.>
I would think so too.
“Anyway, if they ask me for preferential treatment, I will generally refuse on the grounds that I am the Roman sea god.”
“Yeah! That’s the spirit, Mr. V!”
“Yes.” Mr. V nodded. “But if they lay on the pressure, I will fold.”
“Doesn’t that make you completely useless against Demeko-chan?”
“If anything, it makes me completely useless against all of the Greek gods.”
“Don’t worry! Stay strong! You’re weakening my position as a weakling god!”
“It didn’t take long for people to start shouting nonsense, huh?”
“U-umm?”
“Yeah, this might be rough for a first-timer.”
“Then,” said Sumeragi-chan, raising his hand.
“We can all nominate Mr. V the proper way! Instead of a cringe self-nomination.”
“I see! If everyone agreed to it, I can use that as an excuse.”
Why does he have to be so spineless? wondered Shifu, but she kept that to herself.
Then Sumeragi-chan raised his hand again.
“Okay! Raise your hand if you want Mr. V to be the meeting leader because doing it yourself sounds like too much work!”
“That’s the worst reason for a nomination I’ve ever heard! And why are you all raising your hands!?”
“Wasn’t that what we had agreed to do?”
But someone else raised her hand for a different reason. Kido-chan. She tilted her head and asked a question.
“So if it looks like Mr. V is giving preferential treatment, should I blast him with Keravnos Melan?”
●
Kuwajiri heard everyone fall silent.
You could say I heard their silence. Literary expression is a wonderful thing.
But anyway, her superiors wouldn’t want to answer that and the Shinto gods also wouldn’t want to because this could work out in their favor. So she raised her hand.
“So…would that mean giving you the right of judgment?”
Senpai-san whispered “the tribal leader?”, but it sure sounded like she was intentionally saying it loud enough to be heard.
But Kido tilted her head.
“No, I wasn’t asking for anything like that.”
“I see. So you don’t what unrestricted control over the meeting?”
“Right. I have no way of judging the validity of someone else’s complaint.”
So…
“I will simply attack if my feelings tell me to.”
●
“The tension continues to rise.”
“Hey, everyone! Show more tension in your actions! Cause this is where Keravnos Melan is dictated by feelings!”
“Um! Um! Kido-san! In addition to the stuff about Mr. V providing preferential treatment, can you also blast anyone who works against Sumeragi-kun!?”
“Douhai-san? You shouldn’t say things like that.”
“So you have some shred of rationality left, Scythian Representative?”
“Yes. She shouldn’t say it because it goes without saying.”
“This goes beyond collusion.”
“Eh!? Eh!? What’s going on!? Someone give a simple explanation in five words or less.”
“Your life is basically over.”
“Wow, that was simple! I feel like everyone is saying I’m going to die today!”
“Ah ha ha! Look at this idiot!”
“You are not one to talk!!”
●
TJ decided to raise her hand. Because letting this conversation continue would be too dangerous. That was a weird thing to say, but that was the only way she could put it.
“Hey, can we try to get along?”
Everyone turned her way. Eh? she thought.
“That’s a new reaction.”
“I feel like gods are meant to not get along.”
“I get along juuuust fine.”
Yeah, cause there’s only one of you, thought TJ, but she held her tongue. Saying it out loud could get her involved in that mess. She was certain of it. So instead…
“I think Kido-senpai’s blasting is fine. She is the strongest fighter here, after all.”
Everyone fell silent.
TJ took that as acceptance. The Norse gods might want to start a debate over who was the strongest, but there was no point in doing that here.
…And the Norse are on Kido-senpai and Shinto’s side as part of the game club.
The same could be said of the Mesopotamians. The monotheistic god too.
That meant around half the mythologies present were gathered around the human.
On the other hand, the Greeks and the Egyptians knew that Kido-senpai was a threat and that the game club was powerful.
Kido-senpai was definitely a force to be reckoned with all on her own.
So everyone’s silence showed that they all held a similar stance.
Which is why TJ spoke.
“And if we are letting Kido-senpai blast people, how about we let Mr. V decide when that needs to happen?”
●
TJ heard Kuwajiri say “wait”.
“Couldn’t Mr. V arbitrarily wield Kido-senpai’s power that way?”
“For example?”
“Like blasting Demeter over there.”
“What!? Why would Neptune blast me!?”
“Aunt, I am truly impressed. Living your life with a complete lack of shame must be wonderful.”
Wonderful is not the word I would have chosen.
But Kuwajiri’s question was understandable, so TJ responded.
“After the meeting is complete, the gods participating and the gods listening in can vote on whether or not Mr. V’s decisions were legitimate. And if they are deemed illegitimate…”
“I blast him with Keravnos Melan?”
“Exactly. This will probably give emotions more sway here, but we do not currently have a shared set of rules.”
“Voting is a prized part of our culture. We have no reason to say no.”
“Same here.”
“Wait! I just know something bad is going to happen to me from all this, so what will you do to protect such a cute goddess!?”
“How about you go ahead and go to Yamanashi now?”
“I feel sorry for Yamanashi.”
“Wow, rude!”
Senpai-san approached Eshtar.
“Here. Will you quiet down if I give you some snacks?”
“What’s this!? You get it! Then you’d better keep offering up the Karamucho so I don’t run out! With the occasional Wasabeef mixed in!”
TJ noticed a flash of irritation on Senpai-san’s smile, but she didn’t mention it.
●
Bilgamesh crossed his arms.
“So now we have a deterrent for any trouble that might occur.”
“What will we be discussing?”
The Egyptian creator god raised her hand to answer Ki.
“The cause of the flooding.”
“I have a question.”
“What’s that?”
It seemed like an obvious question to Bilgamesh, so he just came out and asked it.
“Is this flooding really such a problem?”
●
“I lived in an arid land. We did have farmlands thanks to irrigation, but we could predict that any decline would come from the land drying out. From that viewpoint, is ‘having water’ really such a big problem? Even if this is an extreme amount.”
Furthermore…
“This divine world was created for the Shinto gods who would be terraforming this planet. If the terraforming can continue unhindered, is it really a problem for the divine world to be flooded?”
“It is true we were just talking about setting up terraforming bases. If we could move there, it wouldn’t matter what happens in the divine world.”
Exactly.
“Our purpose is to assist the human’s terraforming, not to live our lives in this divine world.”
●
“Can I say something?”
Demeter raised her hand.
She had something to say concerning that 5th generation’s question.
“Do you know why I came here today?”
Because…
“This flooding? It ruined my plans to visit TDL.”
●
“Oh, yeah. Tachikawa Station is flooded, isn’t it?”
“Don’t complain about your life in the divine world right after Bil said that isn’t why we’re here.”
“Excuse me!? I’m talking about TDL! I cleared my schedule for it and I spent last night calculating out the wait times for all the attractions I wanted to do!”
“She made reservations for me too, so I’m on my aunt’s side for once.”
“I-I mean, I do understand how you feel.”
“Excuse me.”
“Yeah?”
“What is TDL?”
●
“Eh!? You don’t know, Mr. Vomit! It’s the kind of place where, if you walked in, a mouse would give you a friendly gut punch and you’d vomit!”
“Okay, that is definitely defamation against TDL.”
“Wait, not against me?”
“It’s not so much an amusement park as it is a combination theme park with the decorations and attractions divided into sections with different themes.”
“I’m going to need more than that.”
“It’s kind of like this place right now. Think of it like a combination amusement park that contains multiple smaller amusement parks with distinctive settings.”
“Oh, I kind of get it.”
“But I ended up spending most of my money on the retro games in the arcade there.”
“What did they have?”
“That was the first time I’d seen the arcade version of Zoom 909.”
“Wow, that is a find!”
“What are they talking about now?”
<The kind of nonsense you get from people who go to a hot spring and spend all their time at the inn’s arcade.>
●
Kuwajiri raised her hand. And she spoke to Bilgamesh.
“I believe we can say that interference with our lives here in the divine world will also affect the terraforming.”
“How so?”
“Well,” she said. “We are on this planet in order to assist the human and the Shinto gods with their terraforming. But we are not machines – we are living beings with feelings. We work, we think, we produce and consume, and we live. All those things are done in the divine world, so you could call the divine world a form of employee benefit for us.”
A breath.
“That benefit is being obstructed. By the flooding. That is the same as the flooding directly affecting the terraforming.”
“ ‘The same’ is an exaggeration.”
“How so?”
The half-god known as a wise king had an immediate response.
“Based on your same logic, this flooding is the greatest possible benefit for the water spirits.”
“Fair enough.”
“But,” he said. “This flooding is a problem for other gods. And like Ki mentioned earlier, our standard of living in this divine world is much higher than in our former eras. So for us, life in this divine world is a more than adequate reward for the terraforming work. So you could indeed call it an ‘employee benefit’.”
“How about you keep it simple. Like you usually do?”
“Very well.” Bilgamesh nodded. “This was informative, knowledge god.”
●
While a scattering of voices reacted, Kuwajiri lowered her head.
It was rare to receive thanks from a 5th generation god who had left his name in history.
So she had to respond.
“Thank you. I was simply doing my duty as a knowledge god.”
Then the idiot stared over at her from the side.
“Hey, Kuwajiri! Don’t let it go to your head! I still don’t understand any of this! Ready to give up yet!?”
“I have no idea what you are talking about, idiot.”
“Oh? You don’t!? Well, guess what! I know what you’re talking about! Which makes you the bigger idiot here! Wait!? But if I’m an idiot and you’re a bigger idiot and you called me an idiot, then, um, the idiot is being called an idiot by an idiot which would mean, um…”
“Sumeragi-kun! Sumeragi-kun! Stop trying to use your head!”
“You’re touching on one of Zeno’s paradoxes here, Izumi.”
“You can be clever in the weirdest ways.”
Kuwajiri had to agree with that. But then the idiot asked a question.
“Eh!? What’s that mean, Kuwajiri!? Can you explain it with boobs?”
“It’s like if Kido-senpai said ‘you have really big boobs’ to Senpai-san.”
The idiot turned toward Kido and Senpai-san.
The pair of busty goddesses looked back at him in confusion, so he waved his hand dismissively.
“Oh, you don’t have to do anything! And I’m not thinking anything inappropriate! I’m only simulating that scene in my brain! Nhhh! Charging! Charging!! My faith is gradually being fulfilled in my imagination!”
Sure enough, level up Revelation Boards were appearing around Kido and Senpai-san.
It was a familiar scene. But…
“Wow…”
The main Irish god’s reaction was echoed by the gods on guard duty looking down into the courtyard from the upper floors of the club building.
They were learning what the human’s faith really was.
And eventually, the idiot hopped straight up thrice and turned to face Kuwajiri again.
“Boing!”
“Enough with the sound effects.”
“I get it now! Great job, Kuwajiri! Your impression of Kido-senpai was god-awful, but I still understand!”
Was the Far Eastern knowledge god’s deep nod meant as some kind of provocation?
●
Mr. V thought this topic of discussion was important.
“Then we will accept that the flooding of the divine world is a hindrance to our lives here. So if a specific god’s authority is responsible, they could be charged with a crime. Any objections?”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
“I’d like…some more examples.”
A few people nodded in agreement with the Celtic representative.
“Yeah, so far the only real problem we’ve mentioned is canceling Demeko-chan’s trip to TDL.”
“The gods and spirits working in Tachikawa or at the school have been removed from their ordinary duties. That seems like problem enough to me.”
“But isn’t that looking at this on too large a scale?”
“What do you mean?”
The Far Eastern knowledge god nodded.
“From a divine authority perspective, the flooding must be caused by a creator god or a water god. Setting aside how it was activated here, it must be a standard authority for them, so being rejected by the entire world seems like too high a cost to me.”
“You mean it is too great a punishment?”
“But even if a creator god just waved a hand to cause this, it’s still causing problems on this large scale, isn’t it?”
“That is the point of this meeting of the gods.” Tenma chose her words carefully. “A meeting of the gods is meant to gather everyone involved in a problem, or thought to be, so all the authority behind the problem has been gathered in one place. That is why I suggest we limit the pursuit of responsibility and punishment to those participating in this meeting.”
“I have to ask: isn’t it possible you are making this suggestion because you are responsible for the flooding and want to lighten your own punishment?”
“My authorities are knowledge and lightning, not water.”
“Authorities can be stolen from other gods or used through artifacts.”
“Then you could just as easily be responsible,” said Tenma. “Maybe you did it and you are trying to use my suggestion to blame it on me instead.”
The guard representative frowned at that idea. And…
“Seito wouldn’t do that.”
An uncertain but unwavering voice joined the conversation.
●
“Beisu…”
Seito turned toward her partner. He stood a short distance away, but…
“…Sorry.”
“Oh, um…”
She wasn’t sure what to say. He had supported her there. But given the situation…
“Shinto Knowledge God, I apologize.”
Wasting her partner’s support was the right move here.
●
Oh, dear, thought TJ.
…And after Beisu-shi went to the effort of supporting her.
On the other hand, Seito-san’s decision was correct.
This was a trial and she was a guard there, so it was her duty to not go easy on any lawbreakers.
That said, she had overstepped her bounds.
It wasn’t a bad decision as a guard, which was why Beisu-shi had agreed with her. But…
“…”
His silence wasn’t as painful as the way he couldn’t even look in her direction.
At any rate, that topic was concluded.
“Situations like this could occur again. If responsibility will be limited to the participants of a meeting of the gods instead of to the entire world, it will be easier for the culprits to turn themselves in. The greater the punishment, the greater the benefit of trying to hide your wrongdoing.”
“Um, what’s that mean!? Explain it with boobs!”
“If you stare at Senpai-san’s boobs, all the busty goddesses in the world could criticize you for it, but this would establish that only Senpai-san would be able to criticize you, which would make it easier for you to come forward.”
“I kind of get it, but that example doesn’t really work because staring intently at Senpai’s boobs is part of my faith, so you can’t criticize me for it regardless!”
When level up Revelation Boards appeared around Senpai-san, TJ realized just how irritating this could be. And Kuwajiri-san…
“Then let’s say all the busty goddesses in the world were going to criticize you for having a creepy monkey-like face when you leer at Senpai-san’s boobs, but now you can only be criticized by the busty goddesses attending this meeting.”
“Oh, that is a better explanation. I knew you’d get what I was going for, Kuwajiri-shi.”
“See, Kuwajiri gets it! Hey! Don’t look so disgusted! Don’t excite me like that!”
●
Then TJ raised her hand and spoke to Neptune.
“We’ve been staying in the club building to get our summer club journal done, so the flooding honestly hasn’t affected our lives much.”
“So your homes were flooded while you were staying here?”
“Which does mean we can’t go grab any supplies we need from there. But I’m sure everything will be back to normal once the flooding recedes.”
“Oh, it does…seem like that…doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, cause this doesn’t feel like a natural phenomenon.”
“Since there are no spirits in the floodwaters. This water is from someone’s authority, so while spirits might try to live there or form there, the water is just ‘water’ so soon after appearing. That says some god or another is responsible.”
So…
“The current situation honestly isn’t much of a problem for us. But…”
But she did have one thing to say here.
“We do have an announcement to make since we’re making the club journal, but we can’t do that thanks to the flooding. So I’m not saying this isn’t a problem at all. The Egyptian manga club considers the flooding to be a future problem.”
And…
“Our mythology doesn’t have a big flood myth like Mesopotamia and others do. Even when the Nile floods, there’s a lot of flat land, so it really just overflows its banks. Of course, I’m sure a creator god could cause a flood there, so I’ll stick around.”
“Since you’re from the Middle East but don’t have a flood myth, your myths must have developed from a separate base than the Mesopotamian ones.”
“We do have a very long history.”
Then one of the clubroom doors opened. The art club.
Kunugi was just about to walk in.
“We have our own issues, but I’ll leave this with you, TJ. I agree with you, so keep it up.”
“What, are you preparing for an exhibition or something?”
“Yes, but right now I’m cleaning up after the human’s rollback and restocking on his base forms in case he gets himself killed again!”
“Oh, give Girl-ragi bigger boobs!”
“Sure, sure,” said Kunugi as the art room door shut.
Afterwards, Neptune sighed.
“So for now, Greek and Egyptian mythology are calling the flooding a problem. I will now present this as a topic needing a solution.”
So what should he do since he was running the meeting?
“I would like for us to use this meeting of the gods to discuss methods of identifying the god whose authority caused this flooding, how to resolve the flooding, and what to do about the god responsible.”
Interlude[edit]
“…”
“It worries me a little when no one immediately mocks me after I speak.”
“Oh? Oh? You lonely, Mr. V!? Is that it!? Hm?”
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