A Simple Survey:Volume1 File22

From Baka-Tsuki
Jump to: navigation, search

File 22: The World's Most Enjoyable Lesson?[edit]

The aproned beauty and the shoddily-made puppet were all smiles as usual!!

In a laboratory with all four walls colored a light blue, a young woman was leaning against a giant blackboard(-style screen made to display images on like the weather forecast).

“Hello. It’s time for another thrilling experiment with Kyoumi-oneesan and Spear-kun.”

“Hey, onee-san. Why does this show never get cancelled? Normally, this thing couldn’t be aired on a terrestrial broadcast and the number of complaints has exceeded 8000!!”

“Once it exceeds 10,000, let’s put together a special 2 hour episode. Also, this is a public educational show, so the opinions of the viewers don’t matter. Ratings only matter when you have ads bought by sponsors.”

“Don’t be stupid. Even public television is put together to draw in viewers!!”

The young woman ignored the overly energetic Spear-kun, and folded her arms needlessly just to push up her large breasts. She then blew a kiss at the camera.

“Okay, today’s theme is…tah dah! We will artificially create a micro big bang!! Boom boom boom boom pow pow pow pow!!”

“I can only call that a bad idea!! You can’t do that, onee-san! If you succeed, the entire galaxy will be blown away!!”

“Did you miss the word ‘micro’ at the start? We’ll be fine.”

“That isn’t the issue here!! This isn't the JIS mark!! Actually are black holes and the like even okay!?”

“A big bang is actually quite simple to prepare. Here’s a piece of trivia. You can cause a big bang with things you can find anywhere.”

“That’s scary!!”

“All you need is matter and antimatter. But I am not talking about quantum annihilation here. There is not much antimatter in this world, but it was all gathered when the big bang occurred. We need to do something about that first.”

As the young woman spoke, she displayed a simplified diagram on the blackboard-style screen.

Spear-kun the puppet trembled and said, “Y-you’re going to artificially produce some?”

“No, I will not be doing anything that annoying. Answer me this, Spear-kun. Where did the antimatter disappear to in the process of the universe being made?”

“I don’t know. Actually, I think you would get a Nobel Prize if you figured that out.”

“If there is enough antimatter to match all the matter in the universe, there must be enough of it to create an entire universe that is completely the opposite of ours.”

“You don’t mean…”

“So wouldn’t you think there is a parallel world-like universe made entirely of antimatter expanding somewhere out there, Spear-kun!? We do not have to forcibly produce antimatter just because we live in a world devoid of it! If we just open a slight hole in the world and call in some antimatter particles from the outside universe, a big bang will occur on its own. Yay!!”

“Wait, wait. I thought the idea of a world made up of only antimatter had been denied?”

“We’ll know once we try it.”

“Don’t be so quick to say that! Also, when you say ‘open a slight hole in the world’…”

“Okay, in preparation for creating a wormhole, I am now preparing a micro black hole.”

“That wormhole alone is enough to win a Nobel Prize!! And I thought the EU had the monopoly on micro black holes!!”

“And that will be prepared using this!!”

Kyoumi-oneesan snapped her fingers and the four walls of the room fell down.

The visible area grew considerably.

What lay beyond was a grassy field as if on a farm.

“A large particle accelerator! Most of it is below ground, so it may be a bit hard to tell it’s there. The fully circular types are the most famous, but the track field-like capsule types actually provide more acceleration in the end. But it’s best to switch paths like train tracks☆”

“No one can follow what is going on, onee-san!! How did you prepare this!?”

“Eh? The word particle accelerator may make it sound complicated, but the principle behind it is quite simple. The real problem is in scale and accuracy, but if you ignore the safety side of things, you can gradually build one in a piece of reclaimed land with the junk you find laying around.”

“Waahhh!! Don’t explain that!!”

The young woman held back the puppet with a hand as it tried to jump at her. She never stopped smiling.

“And this is the micro black hole we have created. Technically, a micro black hole only appears for a few hundredths of a second, so it is merely being kept in a state where a micro black hole can be created at any time. It’s something like the surface tension holding the water in an overly filled cup.”

“Don’t talk about this like you’re building a bookcase on the weekend!!”

“Yes, yes. The black hole we have created has been adjusted so that, if there is really a world of matter and a world of antimatter, it will become a point linking the two. I suppose it is similar to the narrow point at the middle of an hourglass. It will absorb matter and antimatter from both sides and create a high temperature state where everything is condensed in one point just like at the time of the big bang!”

As the puppet listened to the flowing explanation, it looked up as if it had suddenly realized something.

“H-huh? You mean a big bang really will occur if all goes well here?”

“It won’t be that simple. We have merely opened a wormhole to create a path to the universe made of only antimatter. What gathers in the black hole from both worlds is up to luck. If everything necessary is not gathered, no big bang will occur.”

“Hm? The other side is an antimatter universe that is the complete opposite of this universe, right? That means…”

“Yes, that there can be as many different types of things over there as there are here in this universe.”

“Doesn’t that make this rather difficult? Wouldn’t we have to gather samples of every single substance in our universe and match them to the antimatter gathered one at a time? That’s worse than trying to brute force the code for a safe.”

“By the way, how many variations are there in the smallest units of things that make up our universe?”

“Eh? Aren’t there more than there are stars in the universe…?”

“Four! The strong force, the weak force, gravity, and electromagnetism.”

“The odds of getting it by trying everything just shot up!! Also, the basis of the physical world isn’t really the basis!? You can narrow it down that far!?”

“We are preparing the conditions for the big bang. That was in the beginning before things became more specialized. No complexity is needed.”

“Wait, does that mean that you are now going to try each of them until you cause a big bang? Wait, onee-san, wait!! This is not time to be worrying about ratings or the number of complaints!”

“Now, the only question remaining is whether the black hole has enough attraction to eliminate the explosion!”

“W-waaaaahhhhh!!!!!”

“Ready, set, boom!!!!!”


After the taping of the show ended without delay, the staff member who controlled the puppet spoke while moving the mouth of the stuffed doll covering his hand.

“Is that all there is to a big bang?”

“I told it would be micro, right? It doesn’t stick around long enough to be visible to the naked eye. And one this small does not even escape the black hole, so not even measurement equipment can see it. People take the idea of having dreams too far when they say a black hole created in a large particle accelerator will destroy the planet.”

“But I still think we’re going to get complaints. They’ll be telling us not enough happened after all that buildup.”

“Sigh. The viewers really do rule us, don’t they?”