Book Girl Ascends the Stairway of the Gargoyles and Idiots

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Book Girl and the Summoned Beast summoned by the girl[edit]

“—Challenge—”

The ‘Book Girl’ declared in such a poignant voice as she tossed the greenish-blue thread that was laid on her back.

Ahh…she finally said it out~

I couldn't help but clutch my head the as I stood beside Touko-sempai, who has completely lost it.


Everything began here.

“Hey, Konoha-kun, I found a great library here!

It was a little far away, but soon, we found ourselves heading there to look. I was doing up a map of the library. As a member of the literature club, I had to know what kind of books there were in which libraries, what kind of facilities they had, and so on.

The books were stacked heavily like a graveyard in the clubroom without the air-conditioner, giving off a fragrance. It felt hard to breath during this hot weather as I loosened my uniform collar with one hand while fanning myself with a paper fan with the other.

She answered,

“How tiring. I don’t want to go. It’s your own interest anyway Touko-sempai. It has nothing to do with club activities, right?”

“Seriously~ you’re younger than me, Konoha-kun, but you always act so lifeless~ This is sempai’s order. Go~”

Touko-sempai’s braids swayed slightly as she started pouting like a kid. I could only stare at her in a dumbstruck manner, and finally succumbed under her continuous persuading.


We took a long ride on the train, and finally reached that library. It was surrounded by many lush green trees, and had 3 storeys. It looked like a new building, and it was very spacious inside.

“Ahh, it’s a mountain of goodies! I can’t look away!”

Touko-sempai’s eyes were glittering.

“Please don’t eat them all.”

I reminded. Touko-sempai is a youkai who will rip books out and eat their pages.

However, she herself insisted, “I’m just an ordinary ‘Book Girl’! I am different from those Kitarous and Eyeball Father [1]…”

“Really, I get it. Ahh, but but! This is the only library with the entire collection of Jean Anouilh books. [2] There’s also the entire collection of Yoshiya Nobuko’s works here!”[3]

Endou-sempai showed a slight blush on her face as she leapt through the rows of bookshelves with light steps. I didn’t dare to relax, fearing when she would fall for the temptation and read the book.

At this moment, Touko-sempai suddenly stopped.

“Oh my, Mizuki? Isn’t that Mizuki?”

A girl in uniform was sitting by the window that was letting the soft sunlight through, silently flipping through the books.

I suppose she would be a high school girl like us. The loose long hair lay on her back softly, and she was a petite and cute girl. She lowered her snowy white face, and her eyes that were staring at the pages were somewhat drenched with a seemingly tinge of loneliness.

“Touko…”

“It’s been a while, Mizuki.”

Touko-sempai went over happily, and the other party showed a gentle smile of an acquaintance. To think that such a tranquil girl would actually know Touko-sempai—

“This is Himeji Mizuki. She's a friend I met in another library around here. We would often meet to share our reflections on some books we read.”

Touko-sempai smiled as she said.

“Mizuki, this is my kouhai at the Literature club, Inoue Konoha. He’s a second year like you too.”

Himeji looked rather shy. Her face was red as she nodded at me. She was really someone who would give others the urge to protect her.

“Fumitzuki Gakuen. Is that the school that became hot news for the ‘test summoning system’?”[4]

“Yes..”

“I heard that you can call out summoned beasts by obtaining points in exams.”

“Wow, it’s like magic.”

Touko-sempai always had interests in unique things as she asked with interest,

“In other words, the higher the points, the stronger the summoned beast?”

“Yes. Theoretically, that’s the case.”

“I wanna try too~ it sounds like an interesting school!”

“Eh? …It’s true that, it’s rather fun…whether it’s the school, or everyone in class…I like them all…”

Himeji's voice was rather stuttered.

Eh? Just when I felt that it was strange, a drop of clear liquid suddenly slid down her clear face. Wah!

“Mizuki, what’s wrong!?”

“So…sorry.”

She frantically apologized as tears rolled out of her large eyes.

Himeji kept holding the book in her arms, saying sorry as she sobbed while her shoulders trembled.

At this moment, Touko-sempai and I didn’t know what to do.


“What happened, Mizuki? If there’s something wrong, you can tell us, alright?”

Touko-sempai brought the sobbing Mizuki out of the library to sit at a bench surrounded by trees, handed her a violet handkerchief, and asked.

Himeji sobbed as she answered,

“Uu…A, Akihisa-kun…gave the cookies I made, uu…to Sakamoto-kun…”

“Akihisa is?”

“Uu…my classmate. He’s very kind…cheery, optimistic…treats others well…ever since a long time ago, I’d…but Akihisa-kun seemed to think that I bothered him…he said thanks when I handed him the cookies I made during cooking class and took it…but maybe it’s because he didn’t want to hurt me…uu…after that, I saw him bring it to Sakamoto-kun…and even…made him open his mouth and force-fed him”[5]

“THAT’S SERIOUSLY TOO MUCH!!”

Touko-sempai shouted, causing me to feel a chill.

Not good. Looks like this will end up like before…

“Himeji, maybe Akihisa simply doesn’t like cookies? Maybe you can confirm it again?”

“No need for that. Even so, he made this cute Mizuki cry, and I won’t forgive him for this! This kind of person who tramples on a maiden’s heart is the worst!”

“Uu, Akihisa-kun, isn’t the worst. He’s…a ver, very nice guy…”

Touko-sempai couldn’t help but give the sobbing Mizuki a hug while Mizuki continued to defend that Akihisa.

“Ahh, such a strong girl you are, Mizuki! Okay, leave it to us! We, as the literature club members who are well-versed in romance stories of all eras will definitely help you fulfill your love!”

“You’re saying ‘us’? This has nothing to do with me! Please don’t drag me down!”

“You see? Konoha-kun here is still very enthusiastic, so he’ll definitely give you a happy end. If you can have a successful relationship with Akihisa, please allow us to write the sweet relationship between both of you. That will be very deli—no no, we’ll ensure your everlasting happiness, so please allow all copyrights to our universal after-sales services, okay?”

Himeji couldn’t help but widen her eyes after seeing Touko-sempai bring her smiling face over.

“O…okay.”

She answered.

Ahh—when stimulated by thirst and a sense of mission, Touko-sempai couldn't be stopped when she’s burning up like this.


The next day, after school, I was forcefully dragged to Fumitzuki Gakuen.

“First, we have to carefully~ observe the target, and then create a plan.”

This high school girl with long braids was holding a pair of binoculars, crouched at the side of the school gates, sure looked very suspicious. The students entering and leaving Fumitzuki Gakuen gave us suspicious looks.

“…Please, let’s go back before we shame ourselves.”

“Really, you’re so cruel, Konoha-kun. This is for Mizuki’s sake.”

“It’s for your own snack.”

“Of course not! I don’t live entirely for food! Ah, they’re here! Those two!”

I looked over in the direction Touko-sempai pointed.

The two people were walking slowly to the gates, and they were the two people we saw on Mizuki’s handphone before, Yoshii Akihisa and Sakamoto Yuuji.

The tall and muscular guy was Sakamoto, and the other one who looked like a bishounen was Yoshii.

At this moment, Sakamoto was grabbing Yoshii’s hand with both hands, and Yoshii, with his elbows tucked onto his body, was groaning while looking like he was clamped.

“It, it hurts, Yuuji!”

“Oh~ really? Now you understand the pain I suffered when I was stuffed with those killer cookies?”

“Wasn’t this yesterday’s incident? How long are you going to remember this grudge? Also, I thought you would have some resistance to Himeji-san’s cooking so…OWOWOWOW…I’m sorry, please let me go.”

“Nope, this punishment isn’t enough! You have to know that my soul floated into the Sanzu River[6] and nearly lost my life there!”

CRAK CRAK CRAK??? I didn’t know what was going on, but it seemed they were arguing. Also, I seemed to hear them mention about cookies. Were they referring to Himeji’s cookies?

At this moment, Touko-sempai, who was being quiet beside me, suddenly showed a stern expression.

“My worst premonition has become true…those two are lovers.”

“EHH?”

I couldn’t help but exclaim, and hurriedly covered my mouth.

“I definitely can’t be mistaken here. Those people who could ignore the goodwill of a girl as cute as Mizuki and a nice girl like her would either be a forsaken idiot or someone without interest in the opposite gender.”

“That’s true…”

It didn’t seem logical to hand over a gift from a cute girl like Mizuki to someone else.

“Right? Look at this now! Such a passionate exchange of stares! Such direct body contact! Such a rude and unreasonable attitude is basically declaring fully this ‘Sakamoto belongs only to me!’ Listen to that Yoshii’s sweet fawning voice! You can already here it! It’s basically like «Vita Sexualis» [7], or «The Confession of the Mask» [8] or Oscar Wilde[9]! Ah, speaking of which, it’ll be really interesting to read «The Happy Prince» in a homoerotic subtext!”

“This is just what you want to say, right! The way I see it, Sakamoto and Yoshii are just arguing with each other!”

“Yes, this pain is also love! Sakamoto is definitely the seme, and Yoshii’s definitely the uke!”[10]

“Don’t say it anymore! Your mind is already filled with purple and pink laces!”[11]

Yoshii and Sakamoto kept close to each other as they moved by us. Touko-sempai bent her back as she followed them, and I could only follow her reluctantly.

“Hey, Konoha-kun, do you remember the name of that book Mizuki was reading?”

“I don’t remember…speaking of which, we better give up now. You’re walking like a duck now.”

But sempai ignored my words as she continued talking enthusiastically,

“It’s just like the story of ‘Ivanhoe’ written by Sir Walter Scott! It’s a middle-ages knight story written in the 19th century about the time Richard the Lionheart and Robin Hood were active! The young man in the story Ivanhoe was a knight of mysterious knight who fought for his beloved princess, his king, for honor! Those hearty battle scenes, those romances that were hard to separate, and the vivid descriptions of the scenery—it’s like deer meat barbecued in the outfield, sprinkled with salt, pepper, grape wine and other ingredients, filling it with a taste of boldness and romance. Ivanhoe himself had a lover in a Princess called Rowena, but there appeared a Jewish beauty Rebecca. She took delicate care of the injured Ivanhoe, and even when she was tried as a witch and brought to the execution platform, she never lost her noble image. She loved Ivanhoe until the very end, but adamantly chose to leave. One may even say that she’s the real female protagonist of the story. Mizuki must have definitely related herself as Rebecca after discovering that Yoshii had a lover in Sakamoto and started crying.”

Touko-sempai lowered her eyes with anguish, but then lifted them up and exclaimed loudly,

“But Konoha-kun, I always believed a long time ago that Ivanhoe could be with Rebecca. Even if it’s the stubbornness as a reader, I can understand Rebecca’s standpoint completely. That’s why I’ll support Mizuki with all I have! I’ll definitely help fulfill her love to prevent Rebecca’s tragedy befalling on her!”

The Book Girl stood proudly in the middle of the room and patted on her flat chest as she declared this loudly.

But at the next moment, she immediately recovered, blinked and looked around.

“Eh? Where’s Yoshii?”

“They went far away when you were talking so passionately about something so random.”

“EEEHHHHH!?”

“It looks like they went around that corner.”

“Seriously, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you will even listen to me anyway.”

“You spoiler! Idiot!”

Touko-sempai shook her long braids and the binoculars on her neck as she sweated while dashing out.

Around the corner, we saw Yoshii and Sakamoto.

Touko-sempai panted as she shouted,

“THE LOVER COUPLE OVER THERE—! WAIT—!”

But they didn’t look back at all.

“That’s why I said that they’re not a couple in the first place.”

“Impossible! The eyes of this Book Girl who read through Plato’s «Symposium» and the entire collection of Inagaki Taruho’s works[12] can’t be wrong here! STOP—! THE IDIOT COUPLE OVER THERE—!”

The moment the word ‘idiot’ rang, those two which didn’t show any reaction up till now suddenly stopped and quickly turned around.

Touko-sempai panted as she ran to them.

“You, you see…(wheeze) my instinct…(ack) are right…(pants). These two are definitely lovers…(jumbled words)”

“Don’t say anything weird when you look like you’re going to faint, okay?”

Yoshii and Sakamoto gave looks of disbelief as they looked at Touko-sempai.

Appearance alone, Touko-sempai was a girl who wouldn’t lose to Himeji in terms of beauty and delicate looks, but she sure looked dangerous while sweating, eyes bloodshot, panting heavily.

Sakamoto pointed a finger at Yoshii and asked,

“I think she called you an idiot, right?”

“You’re too much, Yuuji! On what basis am I an idiot? Must it always be me when you say idiot?”

“Because you’re an idiot in the first place.”

“I can’t argue with that, but isn’t that too much of you to say that to your own friend!”

“Oi, you finally admitted it?”

Then…

Would that person Sakamoto was making fun of that ‘Akihisa-kun’?

He looked a little…no, he looked different from the impression I had of him.

He did look like a carefree idol-like guy on first glance…but his expression, movements, and even the presence he gave all caused me associate him with…idi—

No! I shouldn’t be even thinking about this. He’s the important person to Himeji here! But even if he’s stupid, or may be a comedian with an idol’s face…ah…I accidentally blurted it out.

“If you’re looking for Akihisa, I’ll be going off then.”

“Wa…wait a second, Sakamoto-kun!”

Sakamoto, who was planning to turn around and leave, was stopped by Touko-sempai.

“I’m looking for you.”

Sakamoto looked shocked as he turned around.

“Who are you?”

Touko-sempai put her right hand on the waist and straightened herself.

“As you can see, I’m a Book Girl.”

“Huh?”

Thoroughly embarrassed, I really wanted to find a hole to bury my face in.

Sakamoto gave Touko-sempai a ‘this person’s definitely an idiot’ look, and on the other side, Yoshii raised his hands triumphantly as he cheered,

“Hear that, Yuuji? She’s here for you! That means the ‘idiot’ isn’t referring to me, but to you, Yuuji. Yay, Banzai!”

“SHUT UP, THE IDIOT OVER THERE!”

Touko-sempai yelled, and Yoshii immediately collapsed onto the floor, unable to get up.

“I’ll go straight to the point with you. Please break up with Yoshii.”

I suddenly felt a slight dizziness. Aren’t you being too direct, Touko-sempai?

On hearing that, Yoshii inadvertently waved his hands and murmured,

“Waiwaiwaiwait a second, what did you just say? Are you saying that Yuuji and I are dating?”

“Eh? Aren’t you two dating?”

“EEHHHHHHH!!!???”

“Don’t be mistaken. I’m not saying that boys love isn’t allowed. This isn’t the problem. Real love has nothing to do with age, gender and race.”

“WAAHH! WHAT LOVE HERE!? YOU’RE MISTAKEN!”

“But!”

Touko-sempai gave Yoshii a cold glance.

“I definitely won’t forgive you for trampling on Mizuki’s pure feelings!”

Sakamoto, who had been giving a bothered look, suddenly frowned after hearing Touko-sempai’s words.

Yoshii widened his eyes.

“Mizuki…are you referring to Himeji-san?”

“That’s right, your classmate. She’s cute, delicate, the ideal choice number 1 for a girlfriend Himeji Mizuki, and you made this kind and cheery her cry. I have to settle this debt with you.”

“Himeji-san cried?”

On hearing that, Yoshii, who had been standing there in a relaxed manner, immediately frowned.

And at this moment, Touko-sempai undid the navy-blue ribbon from her chest and threw it at Sakamoto.

The ribbon finally touched Sakamoto’s chest and slid gently onto his shoes.

“Anyway, I, the president of the Seijou Gakuen’s literature club, Amano Touko officially challenges you—Sakamoto Yuuji to a duel!”

Ahh…she finally said it out~

I couldn't help but clutch my head the as I stood beside Touko-sempai.

A duel of all things!?

Such an old-fashioned method! And it’s so reckless!

Touki-sempai is a classic literature-type girl who’ll be panting after running for 100m. it’s impossible for her to beat the athletic looking Sakamoto…

Luckily, Sakamoto wasn’t angry as he said with a calm tone,

“You mean that if I lose, I will have to break up with Akihisa.”

“Right.”

“And if you lose?”

“Let this Konoha-kun write down the sweetest love poem praising the relationship between you two.”

“WAIT A SECOND, TOUKO-SEMPAI!”

Why’re you making your own decision! A love poem praising boys love!? It’s impossible for me to write this without experience!

On hearing that, Sakamoto showed an annoyed look.

“That has no benefit to me at all.”

“Then, besides Konoha-kun’s writing, we’ll add a luxurious reward that’s out of this world.”

“Alright then.”

I, who’s left aside, hurriedly interrupted,

“Wait a second! How are guys and girls going to fight each other fairly? Have you two thought about that? How about a water gun fight?”

At this moment, Touko-sempai seemed to have a flash of inspiration as she clapped her hands,

“We’ll fight using summoned beasts then.”

“““Summoned beasts?”””

We asked in unison.

Touko-sempai seemed rather excited as she exclaimed.

“Ehh~ that’s right! We can use academics to settle this, and this will have nothing to do with the differences in physical strength between boys and girls. It’s very fair too.”

Yoshii stood right beside me as he tentatively reminded,

“But we can’t call out summoned beasts without the teachers present.”

“It’ll be fine if it’s an open match. I just happen to have lots of contacts in this aspect. I already asked for before. Hau~ I’m really looking forward to this! I always wanted to try this ever since Mizuki told me of this the last time~”

As she said that, Touko-sempai clasped both hands and looked very intoxicated.

Obviously, this wasn’t for Himeji’s sake, but for her own interest.

“Hey, let’s have a fair fight in front of everyone then!”


And so, Saturday arrived.

We gathered at the special stage in Fumitzuki.

“What? A group match!? Why must I take part in this battle too!?”

I threw the match-up schedule to the Book Girl who’s looking puzzled and questioned her loudly, but she answered with a matter-of-fact manner,

“Well, this is part of club activities too.”

“I NEVER HEARD OF A PLANNED ACTIVITY WHERE THE LITERATURE CLUB REQUIRES ITS MEMBERS TO TAKE PART IN SUMMONING BATTLES!”

“Fufu~ this is precious experience. You’ll definitely be able to write a brilliant story with the summoned beasts as the topic.”

“Oh? I see. Look forward to the next snack then.”

I swear I’ll write a super horrible snack as revenge the next time—I swore secretly in my heart as I grimaced,

“Alright, fine, you can have me take part in this. This rude and unreasonable sempai has already clamped me down with the ‘it’s part of the club activities’ aspect. But! Why! Why is Kotobuki’s name listed on the matchup!”

“Wha…what! Inoue! You have a grudge against me or something!?”

My classmate Kotobuki was flushed red as she puffed her cheeks while glaring at me.

“It, it not’s like I deliberately wasted my precious Saturday to take part in this activity for your sake, Inoue. I had to take part only because Touko-sempai requested me. Don’t me mistaken.”

Humph. She looked away.

“Well, if you won’t feel bothered by it, Kotobuki, I guess it’ fine.”

“Humph, you’re so slow-witted, Inoue. Don’t end up pulling us down.”

“I, I’ll try.”

At this moment, Maki-sempai, who looked very excited as she held a sketchbook with one hand, suddenly appeared from beside me.

“Touko~! I came to watch this battle~”!”

The wavy tea-colored hair looked rather lofty when basked under the summer sunlight, and the thick tips are happily moving slightly.

Touko-sempai, who often showed fear only to Maki-sempai, actually opened her arms widen to welcome her.

“Thank you very much, Maki~! It’s thanks to you that this summoning tournament can be held! You’re the most reliable person in this world!”

Touko-sempai continued to heap praises on Maki-sempai, who in turn gave a carnivorous expression as she smiled,

“Well, you don’t have to think me. I love you so much, Touko, and soon, I’ll get 10 times the favor back.”

Touko-sempai’s expression immediately stiffened.

“But you said that you didn’t want any payments this time.”

“Yeah. It’s a rare chance to draw Touko with the summoned beasts, so please~bear in mind that I want many benefits from here~”

Maki-sempai said that as she pointed at Touko-sempai’s flat chest, scaring her as she leaped back.

“No, no thanks. I definitely won’t do anything like being a naked model! That’ll ruin my pure image.”

“Well…”

Himeji, who had been standing around silently for a while now, finally spoke up.

“I…I didn’t expect things to get so out of hand…”

“Sorry Himeji. It’s because of Touko-sempai that you got involved in such a weird situation….”

“That, that’s not true. It’s my fault after all…”

Himeji lowered her head as she whispered. Then, she lifted her small face and looked over at the stage with flowing tears.

Yoshii, who was standing over there while surrounded by classmates, seemed to detect our stare as he looked over at us.

“…!”

Himeji and Yoshii’s stares connect.

Both of them cringe back in seemingly shock, and then looked away in a somewhat embarrassed manner.

Hmm…Yoshii seemed to be worried about Himeji. As expected, there seem to be something to why he would hand Himeji’s cookies over to Sakamoto. Maybe Touko-sempai was just overreacting…

At this moment, Touko-sempai lifted Himeji’s shoulders in a very motivated many and said,

“Relax, Mizuki! We’re the knights Ivanhoe who fight for the sake of clearing the name of Rebecca who’s accused as a which! We’re the strongest warriors summoned by you. As long as everyone unite, we’ll definitely win!”

“O, okay…I’m really grateful, but about that…”

I really couldn’t help but want to help Himeji as I saw her stutter in a tentative manner. At this moment, a stare from beside me started to hurt my face.

Kotobuki was giving me a cold smile.

“You’re looking at other girls in such a perverted manner. How disgusting.”

“Eh?”

“You’re the worst, Inoue!”

What’s with that out of a sudden…

After saying that, Kotobuki looked away, leaving me behind while staring at her back in a confused manner.

She really didn’t want to take part in the tournament?

As I looked completely confused, not knowing the current situation, a folded piece of note suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

“Here, a gift.”

Maki-sempai showed an evil smile.

“What is this?”

“The enemy’s data. You can use it for reference.”

“I won’t be doing naked modelling and cosplay either.”

“Ahaha, that’s why I say this is a gift.”

But as the wise saying goes, there’s nothing more priceless than a free item…it’s even scarier when I’m receiving a gift from Maki-sempai. Though terrified, I still accepted it cautiously.

“I’ll head to the spectator stands to watch your performances then.”

After saying that, Maki-sempai gave me a flirty look and turned to leave.

Himeji lowered her head dejectedly as she head towards the spectator stands too.

“Ah…”

“Ah…”

And right in the middle of the spectator stands, Himeji and Yoshii met each other.

Both of them immediately blushed as they lowered their heads, muttering something to themselves before sitting down.

However, neither of them talked, perhaps because they felt tense over each other’s existence as they looked around and fidgeted.

At this moment, the match between the Fumitzuki Gakuen’s group and the Seijou Gakuen’s group finally started.

The win would be decided by the final results. We have Touko-sempai as the vanguard, Kotobuki as the lancer, and I as the rearguard.

Our opponents, the F class team from Fumitzuki Gakuen, were decided from the class tests.

The matchups were: Vanguard, Tsuchiya Kouta; Lancer: Shimada Minami, Rearguard: Sakamoto Yuuji.

Both sides were lined up and facing each other.

Standing right in front of Touko-sempai was a prepubescent-looking boy who had no special features other than standing extremely stiff. He’s probably Tsuchiya.

Standing right in front of Kotobouki was a cheery-looking girl with a ponytail. I supposed that would be Shimada.

“Seriously, why must everyone take part in this match? It’s Aki’s fault for causing this anyway…”

Eh? Aki? Was she referring to ‘Akihisa’?

“But since I’m taking part as a representative for F class, I definitely won’t lose.”

“I, I definitely won’t lose either!”

Both Kotobuki and Shimada exchanged sparks with each other.

Yes…these two were pinching their lips, raising their eyebrows, giving off sharp stares. They do look similar.

And standing right in front of me was Sakamoto.

“Hey, why isn’t Yoshii involved?”

“Akihisa’s our secret weapon.”

Sounds like there’s a plan.

Sakamoto looked rather rough and had the vibe of a delinquent, but unexpectedly, seemed to be good at coming up with plans.

On the other side, Himeji and Yoshii were looking sharp, their hands on their knees as they sat in a still manner.

The cheers from the nearby Fumitzuki Gakuen students could be heard.

“F class, fight on!”

“…Yuuji, I love you.”

Though there seemed to be a weird voice mixed in there…

“Then, Round 1, begin!”

The Fumitzuki Gakuen teacher called out, and Touko-sempai and Tsuchiya walked onto the middle of the special stage.

The first subject is: ‘Health Education’!

The moment that was finished, the entire arena exploded into a storm of cheers that echoed throughout the place.

“MUTTSURINI!”

“MUTTSURINI!”

“MUTTSURINI!”

“I, Inoue, what does ‘Muttsurini’ mean?’

Kotobuki was taken aback by this fanatically loud cheering.

I hoped the note Maki-sempai handed to me, and there’s the information recorded about Tsuchiya.

“Tsuchiya Kouta. Hailed as the unbeaten health education expert, nicknamed the ‘silent sex professor’ “Muttsurini’.”

Health education expert!?

Kotobuki, who had been glancing through the note, immediately turned pale.

“Wha, what should we do? Inoue! Touko-sempai’s…”

“MUTTSURINI!”

“MUTTSURINI!”

“MUTTSURINI!”

“Unfortunately for you, Tsuchiya-kun!”

Amidst the cheers of ‘Muttsurini’ that broke through the clouds, Touko-sempai swayed her long braids and stared at Tsuchiya leisure.

And Tsuchiya was staring at the region between Touko-sempai’s skirt and thighs.

“…(Silence)”

“…(Silence)”

“…(Silence)”

I am the book girl who read through the entire original story of Paulline Reage’s[13] «The Story of O», the «Tale of Genji» [14] with many private affairs, the «Konjaku Monogatarishu» [15] called the fantasy land of love, the treasure trove of romance «The One Thousand and One Nights»[16], and I find Oniroku Dan’s[17] works tasty.”

UWAAHHHH!! WHA, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! TOUKO-SEMPAI!

The crowd’s cheers never subsided as it got louder again.

“SHE READ THROUGH ONIROKU DAN’S WORKS!?”

“TO THINK SHE’LL ACTUALLY SAY THAT UNABASHEDLY WITHOUT BLUSHING!”

“SHE’S REALLY ONE NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED, THIS BOOK GIRL!!”

In the midst of amazement(?), Touko-sempai happily raised her chest proudly.

“Ahem! Whether it’s @& bondage or @&$% Bondage, I can write them all! I can write a final report about @&$ and &@ genres, and also &@*# and *!&@#$ poses, all the body parts! I can write down all the styles, even @^# and *@#% into a book!”

“This Book Girl is amazing!”

“Awesome!”

“Simply magnificent!”

As Touko-sempai continued to use lewd words and 18+ rated terms in the midst of this commotion, Kotobuki blushed as she stood still. I really want to grab Kotobuki’s hand and run away from this place like the wind.

“DON’T SAY IT ANYMORE! TOUKO-SEMPAI! YOU’RE NOT BEING A BOOK GIRL HERE! YOU’RE JUST BEING AN OLD UNCLE WHO LIKES EROTIC NOVELS, OKAY! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HEALTH EDUCATION! SUCH SHAMELESS TOPICS WON’T OCCUR DURING THE MATCH!”

“…That’s common knowledge.”

Tsuchiya didn’t seem to be shaken by this commotion as he muttered.

“Your cold expression will be no more!”

And her voice overlapped with the cheers.

““Summon!””

Magic arrays immediately appeared from below the feet of Touko-sempai and Tsuchiya.

After that, mini summoned beasts, with the appearances of their masters and the size of kids, appeared there.

“So cute!”

Kotobuki sure is a girl to have no resistance to cute things at all as her eyes glittered the moment she saw the summoned beasts.

Tsuchiya’s summoned beast looked like a ninja from a drama set in the old era, while Touko-sempai’s looked like a Middle ages knight with heavy armor and wielding a lance that reaches the heavens.[18]

“Ohh! The Book Girl looks rather strong!”

“That’s a lance, right!”

The summoned beasts’ strength would be determined by the test scores given after a short moment.

Both participants’ scores were displayed on the panel.


Fumitzuki Gakuen, Tsuchiya Kouta, Health Education 560 points.

Vs

Seijou Gakeun, Amano Touko, Health Education 540 points.


“Don’t lose! Muttsurini!”

“The perverted girl is amazing!”

The long braids of Touko-sempai’s summoned beast flipped as the summoned beast itself raised the large lance cheerily and charged forward.

“Come on! Get ready!”

Swoosh!

The lance charged right at Tsuchiya’s summoned beast with unstoppable momentum.

Crak

Chunk

Kachunk kachunk

Kachunk—

“This is useless in the first place, right?”

“Eh? Ehhh? That’s weird.”

No matter how good she was in health education, no matter how strong her summoned beast was, it’s impossible for Touko-sempai to control the summoned beast when she had zero sports sense. The lance in its hands was just swinging wildly.

“Ehh! I can’t hit it! I can’t hit at all!”

Really, I had absolutely no idea whether she’s controlling the lance, or was the lance controlling her.

She might had a chance of winning if she could aim properly and slowly attack.

At this moment, Tsuchiya, who had been coldly watching Touko-sempai fight hard, suddenly muttered something.

“…Accelerate.”

Tsuchiya’s summoned beast suddenly disappeared from right in front of us, and at the next moment, appeared right behind Touko-sempai’s summoned beast.

“Fast!”

It quickly pulled out a shortsword and attacked Touko-sempai’s summoned beast.

Watch out, Touko-sempai!

At this instant, the memory of Tsuchiya’s weakness recorded in Maki-sempai’s notebook suddenly appeared in my mind, and I reached out for Kotobuki’s skirt right at the last moment.

“Sorry Kotobuki.”

At that moment, Kotobuki’s scream echoed throughout the arena.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

“OHH! PINK!!”

“WITH WHITE LACES!!”

The guys all stood up, and Tsuchiya exploded in nosebleed as he collapsed.

But right at the next moment, he continued to remain downed as his hands held onto a camera he pulled out from who-knew-where and started taking photos of Kotobuki.

“EH!”

And, on seeing Tsuchiya’s motionless summoned beast, Touko-sempai’s spear finally broke through its target.

Thud!

Tsuchiya himself collapsed in a pool of blood, and his summoned beast soon collapsed afterwards.

‘Tsuchiya Kouta’s weakness is ero’.

Tsuchiya, who collapsed face up, grabbed onto the camera tightly onto his chest and showed an ever bliss expression.

“How unbelievable!”

“Sorry, but I didn’t peep.”

The moment we finished, I took a tongue lashing as my face felt completely red [19].

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYMORE! YOU’RE THE WORST! I, I, I HATE YYYYOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!”

Kotobuki gave me a slap and blushed as she ran off.

Ahh, the lancer ran off. But the second round’s about to begin.

In that case, the Seijou Gakuen group could only continue to send Touko-sempai, and Fumitzuki Gakuen’s lancer’s Shimada stood on the stage.

“Humph, I didn’t expect you to beat Tsuchiya in health education. But everything ends here.”

“Fufu, looks like this Book Girl here should be able to beat all of you easily.”

Touko-sempai said rather confidently.

““Summon!””

A summoned beast with gold ornaments came out from Shimada’s magic array, wielding a sword as it triumphantly entered.

On the other side, Touko-sempai’s summoned beast was the same Middle-Ages knight build, but the weapon this time wasn’t a lance, but a rusted spoon.

“Ehhh, what’s going on?”

Speaking of which, I think the subject tested in the second round is maths.


Fumitzuki Gakuen, Shimada Minami, Maths 191 points

Vs

Seijou Gakuen, Amano Touko, Maths 2 points.


The winner was immediately decided as Touko-sempai collapsed on her hands, crying.

“…Uuu, the value of a human isn’t decided by sin and cos…”

Seriously, what’s with her?

Kotobuki wasn’t around anymore, so I, as the rearguard, was the only one left.

I sighed as I stepped onto the stage.

“The next battle is chemistry, I suppose. I’m good at this subject too. Basically, no questions can beat me here, so now’s your chance to beg.”

“Then…please show some mercy.”

I nodded. Shimada and my voices then echo.

“Summon!”

Like Touko-sempai, my summoned beast was a Medieval Knight, wielding a large sword.


Fumitzuki Gakuen, Shimada Minami, Chemistry 170 points

Vs

Seijou Gakuen, Inoue Konoha, Chemistry 325 points.


“Wait a second! You’re kidding, right? Such a difference!”

Shimada was shocked upon seeing the display.

“Sorry, but I’m rather good in my sciences.”

I gently waved my sword and sliced through Shimada’s summoned beast, and the winner was decided.

This time, Shimada was the one with her hands on the ground, crying.

“I…I lost.”

“THANK YOU~KONOHA!! YOU HELPED TAKE REVENGE FOR THIS SEMPAI YOU ADMIRE!”

Touko-sempai jumped up happily. I couldn’t help but blush.

Of, of course not…

“And now, the generals will fight it out! Sakamoto’s not worth being scared over! Let’s go! Konoha!”

Will it be as simple as you say?

Sakamoto kept on smiling throughout this match, not looking concerned at all.

Then…let’s look at Sakamoto’s data…

I scanned through Maki-sempai’s notes

“Sakamoto Yuuji, F class’ representative. Was hailed to be a prodigy before. Has a very adaptive mind, a person that needs to be watched out for. Weakness: Kirishima Shouko.

Kirishima Shouko—who’s that? Shall I ask the spectators who this person is?

As I was feeling bothered, Touko-sempai was giggling beside me as she started talking to Sakamoto.

“Konoha-kun’s a bad boy and likes to argue back, young but looks so lethargic, but he does have good grades. We’ll definitely win this. Don’t forget to break up with Yoshii later.”

Sakamoto calmly answered,

“Same for you. Prepare the gift well later.”

“Hm~Konoha-kun will definitely write a love poem for you two.”

“No…I’ll refuse that.”’

“I WON’T BE WRITING THAT!”

“Ohh, even Konoha-kun has declared his win. You’re really reliable here. Then, fight for the honor of the literature club and for Mizuki!”

“Ohh~! For Himeji!”

For some reason, Sakamoto deliberately raised his voice as he glanced at Himeji and Yoshii in the spectators stand.

“That’s right, we’re Himeji’s knights!”

And Himeji seemed to be rather troubled as she cringed back and lowered her head.

Yoshii seemed to be worried about Himeji as he got up from beside her, suddenly looking rather determined.

“Wait, Yuuji! I’ll fight this match!”

Sakamoto showed a smile.

“Ah! Akihisa-kun…”

Himeji suddenly widened her eyes.

Yoshii looked at her with a serious look and said,

“Himeji-san, I’m an idiot, so I don’t know why you’re looking so sad, but even if I’m an idiot, I’ll use an idiot’s way to help you do something. You’re the most important member of the class, an important…well…”

“Akihisa-ku…”

Himeji seemed to be moved as she looked like she was about to cry.

Also, Yoshii looked a lot different from the first time we saw him, giving a manly look as he stepped onto the stage.

Then, he patted on Shimada’s shoulder as she was distressed due to the defeat, and happily said,

“Minami, leave the rest to me. You can take it easy now.”

“…You actually said ‘for Mizuki’…”

Shimada suddenly muttered.

“Eh?”

The next moment, Yoshii took a hook from Shimada,

“AKI, YOU IDDDIIIIIIOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!”

“Uu…wh, why, Minami…even if you’re flat-chested, long-legged and violent, I never laughed at—UWAH!! CRACK!! I, I’M NOT A PUNCHING BAG—UUUUAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”

“IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT! YOU DON’T KNOW MY FEELINGS AT ALL—!! I, I WORKED HARD FOR YOUR SAKE!!! IN THE END…IN THE END, YOU’RE JUST A BIG IDIOT! A BIG IDIOT!!”

After some kicking and punching, Shimada went running in the direction where Kotobuki ran off to in tears.

All that was left at the scene was a brutally battered Yoshii.

“…He’d already showed blank white eyes. I’d don’t think he’ll be able to fight.”

A cute looking girl (who’s wearing a male uniform for some reason) speaking in a weird tone as she looked at Yoshii, painfully shaking her head.

“…Then, since your general fell, what about the match?”

Will we get an automatic win?

At this moment, I hear a clear voice.


“Let me fight against you, Inoue-kun.”

The one who stood on the stage wasn’t anyone else, but Himeji, who shook off all doubt as she gave a serious look.

“Mizuki…!”


“Touko-sempai, Inoue-kun, I’m really grateful that you’re my knights. But I can’t just be the one being protected. I have to fight for things that are important to me…that’s why, I choose to battle.”

The gentle smile and the firm expression were really too cool. That Rebecca in the story of «Ivanhoe» must probably be like this, her back straightened as she stood proudly and elegantly.

The gentle girls didn’t just know how to fawn. They could also make decisions on their own.

This was the heart of pureness and firmness, one that touches the readers to support Rebecca.

My lips couldn’t help but smile.

“Un, as you say then, Himeji. The final battle will be between you and me.”

“Thank you!”

Himeji bowed slightly.

Touko-sempai shouted from beside us,

“Both of you, do your best!”

Then, both of us called out loudly,

“Summon!”

The theme was modern language, and the summoned beasts appeared in the arrays.

Himeji’s summoned beast was the same like us as it was wielding a large sword that didn’t fit her cute image. It looked rather strong.

And my summoned best was wielding a feather pen.

Eh? Feather pen?


Fumitzuki Gakuen, Himeji Mizuki, Modern Language 352 points

Vs

Seijou Gakuen, Inoue Konoha, Modern language 285 points.


Luckily, the difference in points wasn’t too big.

But why a feather pen out of a sudden?

The smiling Touko-sempai’s suddenly appeared in my stare.

At that moment, I suddenly thought of what a feather pen could do. Ahh, I see…after realizing that, I couldn’t help but blush.

At this moment, Himeji’s summoned beast closed in.

And I raised the fountain pen.

Then—

“Gyah—!”

Himeji’s sword thrust through my summoned beast’s chest, deciding this match.

“Akihisa-kun…! I, won!”

Himeji immediately ran towards Yoshii who collapsed at the side of the stage and held onto his hand as she told him then.

“…Ahaha…the match ended before I knew it…but it’s great that you’re revitalized. Un!”

Yoshii, who was battered to a pulp, endured his pain as he smiled.

Himeji was really happy as she stared at him in a blushing manner. The atmosphere was rather harmonious.

“Alright, it’s time to give the prize now, right?”

“Konoha-kun, hurry up and write a poem…”

“No need for that. I want this one and only luxurious gift in this world.”

“Got it. Go get it, Mizuki.”

Touko-sempai smiled at Himeji.

“Ah…yes, I’ll go get it.”

Himeji reluctantly left Yoshii’s side and scampered off. She then came running back with a basket.

The box was opened, and there were cookies that were baked golden yellow, all neatly arranged

“Th, this is—?”

For some reason, Sakamoto looked completely terrified, and the surrounding students immediately turned pale.

“Did Himeji make this!?”

Touko-sempai said happily,

“That’s right! I thought that if we lost, we’ll offer this one and only thing in the world that has Mizuki’s feelings to you.”

“Then…if possible, everyone, please try it! Well…Akihisa-kun, you too!”

“Eh!?”

Yoshii was already turned to stone the moment Himeji took out the basket.

“Great, Akihisa! This is the reward for your hard work. I’ll hand Himeji’s cookies to you.”

“!! Yuuji!!”


“…(Nods)”

“What!? Did you just nod too!? Muttsurini!?”

“Akihisa-kun…do you feel bothered?”

Himeji’s eyes teared up.

“Uuu….”

“Not at all! Right? Yoshii-kun? Hurry up and swallow it.”

“That’s right, Akihisa! Like a man!”

Sakamoto pried Yoshii’s mouth open, and Touko-sempai dumped Himeji’s cookies in.

“-----------------------------------------------------------------!”

Thud!

Yoshii’s eyes went blank white as he collapsed onto the floor.

“Kyah! Akihisa-kun!”

On hearing Himeji’s panicked scream, Yoshii tried to lift his face that had turned purple as he started sweating profusely while trying to give her to a smile.

“That’s…really a taste that’s otherworldly.”

Himeji’s face showed a glow. That was a cute smiling face that all the guys would find hard-pressed to resist.

“That’s great, Mizuki. Come on, Yoshii-kun. There’s still a lot. You have to eat them all.”

“You reap what you sow, Akihisa.”

Sakamoto and Touko-sempai took turns dumping cookies into Yoshii’s mouth.

“Uwahhh, cough cough, wheeze. Ib lewlly gobe do bie (I’m really going to die)------------”

After finishing the entire basket of cookies, Yoshii was carted off in an ambulance.

“Don’t worry. I just ate too much accidentally because it was really too delicious.”

Yoshii said to Himeji in a teeny-weeny voice while being carted off, and her face was beaming brightly.


After that, I heard Kotobuki and Shimada became mail friends.

It seemed that they met after running off tearily, consoled each other, and had a form of friendship or something.

It seemed that Kotobuki was still angry about me lifting her skirt as she would look away in a blushing manner whenever she exchanged stares with me, but I didn’t really know the specifics…


A few days later, Touko-sempai received Himeji’s mail.

“She said that ‘I’ll do my best for Akihisa-kun’. Mizuki’s really cute.”

After school, Touko-sempai read the content of the mail as she ripped of the bits of the letter and put it in her mouth as we’re in the literature clubroom, looking rather satisfied.

“Un~ it’s really sweet. Pure, soft, like cotton candy. It’ll be great if Mizuki’s love can well.”

I started laying out the draft papers, took out a HB pencil and got ready to write 3 themes of stories today.

“I feel the chances of success is almost 100%.”

“Fufu, yeah.”

Touko-sempai clamped her elbows on her head as she leaned back, looking at me meaningfully.

“Hey, Konoha-kun, did you deliberately go easy when fighting against Mizuki? That pen is a stronger weapon than a sword to you. That’s the strongest weapon in the world.”

I continued scribbling fast, not looking concerned as I answered,

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

What a pen could do—

The me at this moment didn’t want to know the answer.

Also, I never considered if I could really do it.

“Speaking of which, was Himeji’s cookies really so bad that it could kill?”

“Un—maybe...but Yoshii could finish it because anything made by his beloved are all delicious. It’s the same even if he faints and gets transported by the ambulance to the hospital.”

Touko-sempai amicably concluded.

And then, her glittering beautiful eyes stared at me as she prompted me with a clear voice,

“Hurry up, Konoha. There’s still 2 minutes till the submission of 3 stories today. What kind of stories will there be today? I’ll eat them all no matter what it is. I won’t leave a single word, you know.”

--END--


---Extra Episode---

“THE WORST! ABSOLUTELY THE WORST—!”

I squatted down on the playground slide as I shouted.

“I HATE INOUE THE MOST! IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!”

He actually flipped a girl’s skirt in front of so many people, and even said what, ‘sorry, but I didn’t notice’. How unbelievable.

Normally, if Inoue had said that he wanted to look, eve, even if it’s a little embarrassing…I could still endure it.

But he actually said ‘I didn’t see it.’

Did that mean that he had no interest in my underwear? Or is it that he had no interest even if I was wearing striped underwear, bunny patterned or mature black-lace?

So many guys saw my underwear because of Inoue! I might as well kill myself by biting my tongue!

“IDIOT! YOU IDIOT, INOUE! IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!!”

As I was sobbing, a ponytailed girl was the same as me, running over in tears.

“THAT IDIOTIC AKI—!”

She kicked the swing of the playground hard.

“IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS AT ALL! HE ONLY CARED ABOUT MIZUKI! I’M A GIRL TOO!”

KRACK! BAM!

She then kicked the swing that swung one whole round with even more force, and the swing flew too high that the chain got jammed and couldn’t move.

“IDIOT! IDIOT! AKI—that Aki—!”

She continued panting as she grumbled.

“Shi…Shimada-san?”

Shimada seemed to recoil back in shock after hearing the tentative voice from behind, and she suddenly blushed.

“Ko, Kotobuki…?’

10 minutes later—

We were sitting side by side on the bench, voicing out our troubles to each other.

“I wanted to maintain a cute image in front of Aki, but Aki’s too dull that I want to beat him.”

“Me too. My face just stiffened when I get to Inoue.”

“I understand. It’s their fault in the first place for treating us like guys. He doesn’t understand my charm!”

“Inoue too! He peeped at me and even followed up with ‘sorry, I didn’t see’. What kind of apology is that?”

“Uu…I cut 5mm of my hair and changed the color of my ribbon, and he didn’t notice it!”

“This is a huge blow to a girl!”

““Yeah!””

“That’s why Aki’s just a thorough idiot!”

“Inoue isn’t much reliable either. He’s somewhat foolish, and whenever anything happens, it’s like he’ll be the first one apologizing.”

“He only knows how to be kind to Mizuki!”

“He only knows how to follow Touko-sempai’s orders!”

“I don’t want to be bothered with that kind of guy.”

“Same here for Inoue.”

Both of us had our fists clenched as we said this angry.

“Bu…but I’m still concerned.”

“Un…I get it.”

“Even if he’s an idiot, I just can’t let him go…I really can’t hate him…and I can’t pretend that I don’t like him.”

“Un!!”

“And he’s not a complete idiot too. He has a lot of good points like thinking about his friends, and he’ll work hard for them no matter how small it is. Things just feel better with Aki around…”

“Inoue too. He would earnestly help me when I’m in trouble, and his smile is really great.”

Both of us sighed in unison.

“Then, back to the starting point.”

“Un…”

“Ahh~if I were Inoue, I’ll be taken aback my soles after seeing a beauty like you, Kotobuki.”[20]

“Not so. You have rather feminine charms too, Shimada-san. I’ll be dating you if I were Yoshii.”

“I can’t be compared to you, Kotobuki. I’m flat-chested.”

“Your legs are long, and you have a slender waist like a model, Shimada.”

“Can I call you Nanase, Kotobuki? This is the first time I’m talking to you.”

“Me too. I never expected myself to be talking to others about such things. Can I call you Minami?”

“Of course.”

“Minami.”

“Nanase.”

Our hot hands were clasped with each other.


Several days later—

“Nanase, do you want to go eat crepes with everyone after school?”

“Sorry, I have an appointment.”

“What what? Is it a date~?”

“Nope.”

I secretly glanced at Inoue, who was chatting with a guy from our class. He probably never heard me talking.

“I’m just going to meet a friend to complain to her about how slow a certain idiot in the class is.”


Author’s Words[edit]

Hello. I’m Nomura Mizuki.

This story was published on the 2007 Summer Edition of FBOnline before.

At that time, I was chasing the editor-in-charge, asking— ‘Baka Test is too interesting. Hurry up! When will the next volume be released?’

Anyway, I was rather fond of the children in the book that were foolish and cute, and I indulged myself in the quirky and interesting conversations. I kept laughing as I read, and kept getting excited and worried with the plot like a fan.

“Please tell me if there’s a need to write a Crossover for Baka Test!”

I told the editor-in-charge.

In the end, there was this chance, but it clashed with the «Bungaku Shoujo»’s submission date, so we decided to let Kaima-san write it.

“It’s fine to have another crossover. Your thoughts?”

After that, the editor-in-charge told me the great news.

“Please let me write! I must definitely write this!”

And so, I answered.

Unexpectedly, when I started writing, I had more expectations of this work I like. “No~ Akihisa should be more idiotic. Himeji should be more pitiful. Sakamoto should be cooler. Ahh! I want to let Shouko appear! Hideyoshi never showed up! I like Kudou and Yuuko~”

But I experienced more of the world of Baka Test when I was writing. I was really happy.

To top it off, Haga Yui-san added the illustrations for this volume. Touko’s summoned beast is so cute I want to cuddle it.

I even added Minami and Nanase’s conversation at the end as a bonus. I hope you will like it.

Finally, the lastest volume of Baka Test will be sold at the end of November. Inoue-san muttered that it should be December, but the editor-in-charge said confidently that it’s in November, so please look forward to it.

29 September 2008

Nomura Mizuki.

The work uses the following text.

«Ivanhoe First half» (Written by Sir Walter Scott, translated by Kikuchi Takekazu, Iwanami Bunko, 16 February 1964)

«Ivanhoe Second half» (Written by Sir Walter Scott, translated by Kikuchi Takekazu, Iwanami Bunko, 16 July 1974)


Original Author’s comments[edit]

Nomura-san’s girls have quite the charm, and even an idiot like Akihisa became so cool. This is a really interesting story. Thank you very much.

Well well…speaking of which, Mizuki is still a girl after all…I nearly forgot about this in my original work—I focused too much on F class’ ranking, so the characterization here was weaker. I am currently reflecting on that.

Touko-sempai’s rather active in this comedy. Her cute and somewhat foolish behavior drives this plot well. Speaking of which, if Konoha can work together with F class, I suppose it is likely that no one can beat them. There is still Kotobuki too…! That’ll be the strongest group! Takenaka-san’s character deisgn and Haga-san’s character designs are like a super luxurious combo platter. I can’t help but feel that it is great that I can write a novel when I see a combination like this.

However, there is a depressing flaw in this perfect work. Which is it? I suppose the smart readers should be able to figure out, right?

‘Ahem! Whether it’s @& bondage or @&$% Bondage, I can write them all! I can write a final report about @&$ and &@ genres, and also &@*# and *!&@#$ poses, all the body parts! I can write down all the styles, even @^# and *@#% into a book!’

—Ahh, it is this line from Amano Touko in this ‘Book Girl and the Summoned Beast summoned by the girl’ story…

How can you allow this? Have you forgotten? Are we playing shiratori here? What is wrong with these lines?

Then, please allow this Inoue Kenji to help you complete it.

‘Ahem! Whether it’s 12 bondage or 3456 Bondage, I can write them all! I can write a final report about 789 and 01 genres, and also 2345 and 678901 poses, all the body parts! I can write down all the styles, even 234 and 5678 into a book!’[21]

A lot of vulgar words were used, so we censored them after comparison. Please understand.




Book Girl and the Killed-off Idiot[edit]

A few days ago, Amano Touko-sempai and Inoue Konoha-kun suddenly came by to our Fumitzuki Gakuen. I didn’t know why both of them came here when they challenged Yuuji and me to a battle. But now I seem to understand somewhat, and also why Himeji-san became so depressed. It’s all because of me.[22]

I want to thank them, but I heard that Amano-sempai likes books, so I decide to write a letter to her.

—But I wonder if I used my grammar and kanji correctly?[23]


“Un, it’s very sweet. Fuzzy and mystical like cotton candy. It’ll be great if Mizuki-chan’s love can work out.”

“Is this Himeji-san’s letter of thanks? The handwriting is pretty too. I suppose it’s rather delicious if you can eat the letter like that.”

“Yeah. It’s very delicious like dessert. Sweet and smooth, and I got addicted to it somehow.”

“Great. Now I don’t have to write the 3-theme story today.”

“No, this is another thing altogether. The taste is completely different, so hurry up.”

“Fine…I knew you’ll say that. I get it. it’s almost done, so just wait.”

“Un un, it’s great that you’re so understanding Konoha-kun.”

“You’re only so excited at such a moment…ah, that’s right.”

“What is it, Konoha-kun?”

“Speaking of which, there’s a letter sent to the literature club.”

“Ah? What kind of letter? What does it say? Let’s see, the sending—ah, isn’t this Yoshii-kun? What can it be?”

“I think it’s a letter to thank us for what happened before.”

“Even Yoshii-kun sent a letter to us. I’m really happy to have so many snacks today.”

“I read through it already, so you can eat it.”

“Really? I won’t hold back then.”

“Please do.”

“Ah—chew. Un…”

“Is it nice?”

“…”

“…Touko-sempai?”

“…Uuu.”

“Se, sempai!? Why are you crying out of a sudden!?”

“It’s not delicious at all~ it doesn’t taste good at all~”

“It’s no delicious? What kind of taste is it? is it the ridiculous kind of taste where marshmallow is put in a bowl of parfait and topped with chocolate?”

“This is a combination of detergent and shower foam and kitchen cleaner.”[24]

“Sempai, none of those things can be considered food.”

“How rude! This is a blasphemy on languages! Leaving aside the wrong usage of line breaks, periods and commas, there are many wrong words, missing words, mistaken usage of common terms, vague use of language and sentence structure all over the place. This can’t be considered a letter at all.”

“Is, is that so? So Yoshii-kun isn’t good at languages.”

“Mizuki-chan could write such beautiful passages, but Yoshii’s like this. I really worry for their future!”

“Touko-sempai, please don’t put it in such an exaggerated manner.”

“No, it’s not exaggerating at all! You see, when both of them start writing letters to each other, they won’t be able to convey their feelings to each other correctly because they can’t communicate well. This will only end up in failure.”

“Do people even use letters to keep in contact with each other? Don’t people normal send mail messages?”

“Anyway, if this is the case, both of them will be in trouble! Even if it’s for Mizuki-chan’s sake, we have to teach Yoshii-kun some basics in grammar! Let’s go, Konoha-kun, to Fumitzuki Gakuen!”

“Ah? Now?”

“Of course! Isn’t it best to do things earlier?”

“Fine…I get it…”

‘Ah, but…”

“But what?”

“Write down the 3 stories before we go. How can I go to the battlefield on an empty stomach, right?”

“So I have to write it in the end…”


“Oi, Akihisa, there’re rare guests here.”

“Ah?”

Yuuji, who’s going home with me after school, met two rare visitors at the school gate.

“Eh? Amano-sempai? Inoue-kun? Why are you here?”

They were Amano-sempai and Inoue-kun who helped me a few days ago. Amano-sempai has long braids and a slender figure, while Inoue-kun has soft hair and a pretty face like a girl. Aren’t they from Seijou Gakuen that’s so far away from here? Why did they specially make their way here?

“Well, actually, it’s like this…”

Inoue-kun gives a wry smile as he answers awkwardly, and beside him, Amano-sempai is glaring at me for some reason.

“Yoshii-kun.”

“Yes, is there anything? Amano-sempai?”

“Why are you still in love with Sakamoto-kun? What happened to Mizuki-chan?”

What’s going on? I have no idea what Amano-sempai is talking about at all.

“Am I wrong, Konoha-kun? It’s definitely because Yoshii-kun can’t write that he can’t get on well with Mizuki-chan and can only return back to Sakamoto-kun reluctantly.”

Amano-sempai happily puffs her chest.[25]

There’re a lot of parts I need to understand, so my mind couldn’t process it immediately as I couldn’t say anything at all.

“Sorry, Yoshii-kun. Amano-sempai lost it again…you don’t understand what she’s saying, right?”

Inoue-kun lowered his head, saying this to me in an apologetic manner. He must be feeling awkward too.

“I don’t really understand—but there’s something I do understand.”

“Ah? What did you understand from those words just now?”

‘Yeah, well actually, what I understand is…Yuuji’s life is as weak as the flame on a candlewick in the middle of a gust.”

“What?”

“…Yuuji, what’s with your love with Yoshii?”

“SHO, SHOUKO!? NO, THAT’S NOT IT…! DON’T SAY SUCH BASELESS THINGS…!!!”[26]

Kirishima-san appeared silently from somewhere and does a vicious claw grab on him. I can vaguely heard the harmonious melody of Yuuji’s skullcap cracking in the middle of her hand.

Amano-sempai doesn’t notice the tragedy that’s happening to my worst friend as she continues.

“I said it before that I don’t think boys love is anything bad, but you already have Mizuki-chan, and yet you’re having such passionate love with Sakamoto-kun. That’s a severe betrayal.”

“Sorry for interrupting, Amano-sempai, but every word you say now will cause insurmountable pain on Yuuji, so please don’t say this if possible…”

“…Spill it out. What’s with the ‘passionate’ here…?”

“WAHHH!!? MY SKULLCAP’S CRACKING BADLY NOW!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME, SHOUKO!?”

Kirishima-san exerts even more force in her hand the moment she heard Amano-sempai’s words. Now, I can definitely say that Kirishima-san has control of Yuuji’s life now.

“Don’t say it anymore, Amano-sempai! This is an issue of life and death for Sakamoto-kun.”

“That’s right. You’re right here, Konoha-kun. A girl’s love concerns life and death! And you, Yoshii-kun, betrayed Mizuki-chan by sticking to Sakamoto-kun like a newlywed couple—”[27]

KRACK!

I seemed to hear something being crushed to bits from far away.

“Yo, Yoshii-kun…Sakamoto-kun’s neck got twisted in a weird direction. I don’t think he’s moving at all…”

“Don’t mind, Inoue-kun. That’s normal.”

“Is, is that so?”

“…Yuuji, explain things properly to me over there.”[28]

“…(Ugh)”

Inoue-kun looked worried as he stared at the vanishing Yuuji who’s being dragged by Kirishima-san to the school. He’s really a kind guy. I hope those guys from F class can be like him.

“You say it’s common? I have to ask why then. Don’t you often end up looking for Sakamoto-kun instead of Mizuki-chan?”

Amano-sempai swings her clenched fist as her braids jumped, which made her really cute. She’s a beauty, an upperclassman, and yet look like someone of the same grade, or even younger. How inexplicable.

Ah, now’s not the time to think about such things…Amano-sempai talked so much just now…so the main issue isn’t between Himeji-san and me, but that she’s saying that it’s bad for me to be with Yuuji.

“Inoue-kun, is Amano-sempai worried that Himeji-san and I got into a quarrel?”

“Ah, something like that.”

Is that so? So Amano-sempai had been worried about us. It had been like this before, but I didn’t expect them to come all the way her for me. Such a kind sempai.

In that case…I have to erase all misunderstandings…my relationship with Himeji-san didn’t turn bad.

“Well, Amano-sempai, Himeji-san and I never argued.”

“Then why aren’t you two going home together?”

She scowled. She has so many expressions.

“I had special remedials today, so I ended up going home later.”

On a side note, the ones who attended were Yuuji and me.[29]

“See, Amano-sempai? There’s nothing wrong between Yoshii-kun and Himeji-san. Let’s just go back.”

“No, there’s still a huge problem! Yoshii-kun, what’s the subject you had remedial for?”

Amano-sempai stared at me sharply. What kind of problem is there?

“Well, classics…”

On hearing my answer, Amano-sempai puffs her chest like a winner.

“You hear that, Konoha-kun? Yoshii-kun’s weak language skills mean that both of them can’t get along well, right? In that case, this Book Girl has to help him.”

“Touko-sempai, your help may end up defeating the purpose.”

“You’re so cold, Konoha-kun. Are you saying that it’s fine to watch Mizuki-chan being hurt?”

The moment the topic went from my classics remedial to Himeji-san—

“Erm, are you talking about me?”

Himeji-san, who’s on her way home, appeared beside us.

“Mizuki-chan, nice timing.”

“Hello, Touko-chan. Why are you here today?”

“Hello. Actually, I came here because I’m worried about Yoshii-kun’s head.”

I think Amano-sempai just said something that ruined my pride mercilessly.

“Touko-sempai! How can you say such hurting words!?”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. We…”

“Yes?”

“Are just worried that there’s some fatal flaw in Yoshii-kun’s thought circuit.”

Isn’t this just converting those words just now into a formal and courteous manner and repeating them altogether?

“So, sorry, Yoshii-kun! Touko-sempai has no ill intent at all! She just lost it!”

Inoue-kun hurriedly waved his hands at me as he explained. Amano-sempai and Inoue-kun would normally give a knowledgeable vibe, but at this point, I just feel intimate with them. How inexplicable.

“Mizuki-chan, aren’t you also worried about Yoshii-kun’s grades?’

“Well…ye, yes. His scores has been improving recently, but he has to work harder if we’re to be in the same class next year…”[30]

“See? You’re worried too, right?”

“I think you should be more worried about yourself, Touko-sempai. You’re preparing for university here.”

“Uu…you don’t have to worry. Sin and cos can’t be used to write letters.”[31]

Speaking of which, Amano-sempai’s maths doesn’t seem to be very good…

“Any. Way! For the sake of your futures, this Book Girl will help Yoshii-kun in classics remedials. Alright, let’s hurry to the classroom!”

After saying this selfishly, Amano-sempai started walking to the school building.

“Well…”

“I’m sorry, Yoshii-kun, Himeji-san. I’ll talk to her. You can head back first.”

Inoue-kun looked rather apologetic as he lowered his head to us.

“No, I have confidence in Amano-sempai’s explaining. Since there’s such a chance, we’ll want to hear some of her teachings. We have a classics mini-test tomorrow anyway.”

She’s atrocious in maths, but it seemed Amano-sempai should be rather good in language from the appearance she gives as a Book Girl. And she’s a 3rd year, so it might be a good idea to listen to her lecture.

“Yeah. Since it’s sempai’s kind intent, let’s listen to her then.”

Now that I think about it, Amano-sempai’s proposal isn’t a troublesome one to me, but a fortunate one I can’t ask better of. Amano-sempai will definitely make the lectures detailed and interesting and make them easy to understand.

“…It’s really great that you two can think this way. Thank you very much.”

“No no, we should be the one thanking you for coming all the way here for me.”

All three of us lower our heads in thanks. It’s really a strange scene.

“Oi, the 3 of you, hurry up.”

Amano-sempai said impatiently as she watched us remain here without following her.


“Then, what content will be covered for tomorrow’s test?”

Amano-sempai put on the slippers for visitors as we head to f classroom for the teaching tools as she asks me.

“Well…what are we being tested on, Himeji-san?”

“Akihisa-kun, you mustn’t forget about the tested topics…”

I inadvertently avoid Inoue-kun’s worried expression.

At this moment, Himeji-san tells me the content of this test.

“The tested subject will be about the chapter of «The Tale of Genji»[32] we learnt in class today.

“The Tale of Genji? What’s that? Can it be eaten?”

“…I say, Akihisa-kun.”

Himeji-san stared at me in shock. This is bad. She’s always worried about my studies, so I can’t let her know that I don’t even know what’s being tested. Have to find a way to hide this.

“…The, The Tale of Genji…it, it’s that, right? That, that famous tale. Ah, it’s written by that…amazing guy…”

I try to pretend that I understand, but Himeji-san shows an even suspicious expression.

“Well, Akihisa-kun…do you know what «The Tale of Genji» is about?”

“A story about how Genji worked hard.”

“That, that’s really quite the synopsis…”

“But we can’t say that it’s not right…”

What’s with that? I feel that they’re feeling pitiful about me instead of being suspicious now.

“This «Tale of Genji» is a very long work written by a woman called Lady Murasaki in the early 11th century. It was set during the 10th century in the palace, talking about the relationship between the royal family and the nobles, describing the story of Prince Genji and his descendants. It was a work that spanned 80 years…”

“Lady Murasaki, huh…”

I think I heard of this name before…I guess?

“Lady Murasaki is a person with unknown identity, age, and from an unknown era.”

“Ah? Her name isn’t Lady Murasaki?”

“That’s the title that was used for her when she was an official in the palace. She was called Fujiwara Takako at first, but later on called Lady Murasaki when she became famous for writing «The Tale of Genji».”

“Fujiwara Takako, huh. I never heard of that name before.”

I say, and Amano-sempai puffs her chest even more as she continues,

“She got married with her father’s friend, Fujiwara no Nobutaka, when she was about 22, 23, and gave birth to a girl. Soon after, her husband died, and their marriage life lasted for a mere 3 years. Later, she went to the eldest daughter of Fujiwara no Michinaga, Shoshi, and acted as her lady-in-waiting, or to simply put, someone who would escort her, and entered the government. «The Tale of Genji» she had been writing since her youth had been greatly praised, and her talents were recognized by her peers. As she took up position in the palace, people around her became her readers—”

“Touko-sempai, let’s leave these details out for now, or else we won’t have time to study.”

Inoue-kun calmly stopped Amano-sempai who doesn’t look like she’s going to stop. Maybe it’s because they’ve been together for so long that they were able to develop such camaraderie.

“Ah, that’s right. Then, Mizuki-chan, which part of the «Tale of Genji» is tested?”

“The part where Aoi no Ue gave birth to a boy and couldn’t get up from there.”

“If it’s the part Aoi no Ue fell ill, that means it was the time where Lady Rokujou had strong feelings for Genji, the chapter of «Aoi», one of the high points of the «Tale of Genji», right?”

Ah, I don’t understand these terms at all.

“Yes. It’s a very scary story, so I’m a little…”

Himeji-san’s expression looks a little grim, and it looks like there’s something on her mind.

“Himeji-san, what do you mean by ‘scary story’?”

I didn’t know what kind of story it was, so I tried asking. Then, Amano-sempai raises her index finger and explains,

“It was a story about jealousy. Lady Rokujou, who harbored strong feelings for Genji at that time, was jealous of Aoi no Ue who was his official wife, and cursed her.”

“So it’s a story about jealousy.”

“Yes. Lady Rokujou had beautiful looks, had a high standing, and was very intelligent, but because of this. she had a high amount of pride. She couldn’t face Genji properly because of this, and Genji felt very tired whenever he was with her, so both of them became distant emotionally.”

So she’s someone with a lot of pride…I don’t think I’m good at dealing with such people.

“Even so, Lady Rokujou really loved Genji, but she couldn’t convey her feelings properly. And when she felt troubled, the lovechild between Genji and Aoi no Ue was born…”

“So she laid a curse. This really isn’t a happy story…”

“Yeah. Thinking about someone strongly is something to be respected, but she ended up hurting others. This story is really tragic.”

I see. It’s no wonder Himeji-san doesn’t like this story. Nobody would feel good after listening to this story.

“I always feel hurt whenever I read this story. Will it be bothersome for that person if I love that person too much…”

“Mizuki-chan…this story is really tragic, but because of this, I feel that it’s very important to learn something from it, because—”

At this moment, Amano-sempai suddenly stopped.

Chatter…

A lot of loud chattering can be heard from the classroom.

“??? What is it?”

Amano-sempai looks over at the source of the noise.

I look over as well. It’s after school, but there’re still many people inside F classroom.

“Yoshii-kun, does everyone stay in the classroom like this after dismissal in Fumitzuki Gakuen?”

“Well…there are some who’ll stay behind to play…but…”

It was further away, and I couldn’t see clearly, but those guys don’t seem to be playing, but look like they’re gathered around, looking at something.

“It looks a little weird. Let me go and take a look.”

I hurriedly walk over, tread my toes inside, and what I see is—

“Mu, Muttsurini, what’s with you?”

A familiar student is bloodied as he lies on the floor, looking very tragic.

“Yo, Yoshii-kun, this is…”

Inoue-kun, who got over a little later, widens his eyes as he asks.

The information broker and health education expert of F class, Tsuchiya Kouta—Muttsurini’s nose was oozing lots of blood from his nostrils, and there were many bruises and scratches. He had a box that looked like a recording bug as he lies on the floor.

“Who did such a cruel thing to Muttsurini?”

“Well…this should be Tsuchiya-kun, I suppose. Looks like he was beaten up cruelly.”

“I say, Inoue-kun, this doesn’t matter at all.”

“Ah!? You can’t say that, right? He’s wounded very badly.”

“This is the ‘cruel’ thing I’m talking about.”

I point at the thing Muttsurini’s holding.

“What kind of box is that? What’s with that?”

“Look at it closely, Inoue-kun. Isn’t the box open?”

“Un, yeah.”

“In other words…the secret audio file Muttsurini views as more important than his life was taken away.”

“You’re saying something weird here, Yoshii-kun! Isn’t Tsuchiya-kun’s life more important?”

Damn it…who did such a cruel thing…! Taking Muttsurini’s audio file away is a devilish move that’s like taking oxygen away from the Earth![33]

“Konoha-kun, Yoshii-kun, what happened—ah, how, how cruel…”

“Touko-sempai, as you can see, Tsuchiya-kun…”

“It’s too cruel, actually taking Tsuchiya-kun’s file like that…”[34]

“Touko-sempai? Are your thoughts messed up after seeing blood? What you said is weird!”

I can imagine from Touko-sempai’s weak appearance that she’s not someone who often sees this, so she doesn’t look too good now.

“Well, Akihisa-kun, what happened?”

“Don’t come over, Himeji-san! Amano-sempai, please fall back for the time being.”

This isn’t a scene where we can allow girls to see. They might end up getting nightmares because of this.

“An, anyway, Inoue-kun.”

“Calling the ambulance right away…”

“Un! Let’s fish out the killer and take revenge for Muttsurini!”

“Please, Yoshii-kun! Listen to me! He might still have a chance of being saved!”

From the way things look with our victim, the fortunate thing is that the time of violence wasn’t too long ago. The chances of the murderer being nearby can be considered rather high.

“Anyway, let’s find a piece of cloth to cover Muttsurini. This is too gross.”

“Yoshii-kun…isn’t Tsuchiya-kun your friend…?”

“Of course. Because of this, we have to find the murderer.”

I take a window curtain from a corner of the classroom to cover Muttsurini. Now, I don’t have to worry about Himeji-san and Amano-sempai seeing something bad.

“Both of you can come in now.”

After checking that things are perfectly safe, I call in Himeji-san and Amano-sempai.

“Ah, okay.”

Himeji-san and Amano-sempai move in.

Then, the classmates outside the classroom move in as well. Everyone starts chatting.

“Wow, how disgusting.”

“Yeah, really disgusting.”

“Absolutely disgusting.”

“Yoshii-kun, it seems that the students in this class lack an important characteristic as a human…”

‘Yeah, I often think of this.”

These guys from F class don’t have much of a common sense, leaving aside such a disgusting scene like this.

I pull aside the curtain to prevent Himeji-san and Amano-sempai from being shocked. At this moment—

“Ugh, that Shouko. She’s becoming more of a dominatrix nowadays—ah? What happened here?”

A doubtful voice echo through the classroom.

“Ah, Yuuji. The torture’s over?”

The one who spoke was Yuuji, who was being executed by Kirishima-san. The time of torture was shorter than I thought.

“I just had two ribs broken.”

“Oh. Let’s not talk about this first. Look Yuuji.”

“Ah? Yoshii-kun, I don’t think you can just pass off Sakamoto-kun’s words with an ‘oh’?”

I try not to let Himeji-san and Amano-sempai see this scene as I pull the curtain apart.

“This is Muttsurini? How disgusting…”

“Yeah. Cruel, isn’t it?”

“I know you’ll say that, Sakamoto-kun.”

Yuuji narrowed his eyes as he calmly looked at Muttsurini’s grotesque form (the important parts were pixelated). This guy can actually observe calmly at this scene where an ordinary person can’t possibly look on.

“Well, Akihisa-kun, what’s going on there?”

Himeji-san’s the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on as she gives a nervous look. Her worry will worsen if we continue to try and hide, so I might as well tell her what’s going on.

“That’s Muttsurini’s corpse.”

“How, how is it. Tsuchiya-kun…!?”

Himeji-san widened her eyes in shocked. This isn’t too surprising.

“Pull yourself through, Mizuki-chan.”

Amano-sempai supports Himeji-san just when she’s about to collapse.

“But this is really a troublesome case.”

Yuuji looks away from Muttsurini as he says this.

“Yeah. It’s common to see him nosebleed a lot, but the other wounds are weird.”

“Yeah, they obviously show that he was beaten up.”

Muttsurini’s face shows signs of the usual blood trails, but unmistakably, there’re signs of violence on the other parts and the flipped clothings.

“In other words, this is a murder case.”

Amano-sempai suddenly clenched her fist as she stood up.”

“Then, we’ll find the murder and pacify Tsuchiya-kun’s soul!”

Inoue-kun looked at her, put his hand on his forehead, and sighed.


“These are the information we obtained.”

“Got it.”

Amano-sempai jots down the messages Yuuji and I obtained from questioning our classmates into a notebook. As expected of the Book Girl, Amano-sempai has nice handwriting and has easy to understand orientation.

“Hm.”

Amano-sempai twirls her pen as she looks at the notebook, thinking.

“There’re no clues worthy of taking note.”

Inoue-kun said as he looks at the notebook from behind Amano-sempai. He’s right. What we got don’t seem to be of much use.

“Yeah. Inoue-kun. In that case, we can’t find out the time of murder, let alone who carried out the murder on Tsuchiya-kun.”

I too look over at the notebook Amano-sempai and Inoue-kun are looking at. What were written were different explanations, but there’s a similar message throughout.

“All the people in F class merely said that they weren’t in the classroom, weren’t sure, and found Muttsurini collapsed on the floor when they came back…well, in that case…we can’t understand anything.”

If one of the classmates who gave the testimony said something different, we might be able to find an opening. But all of them said the same thing, and we can’t get any messages like this. This is really hard.

“Since everyone said the same thing, there’s only one breakthrough.”

Himeji-san tilts her head in a curious manner. Looks like the smart her can’t think of it either.

“Ahh, hold on. In that case, it does feel unnatural.”

What does Amano-sempai mean when she tells us to wait.

“What is it, Amano-sempai? Have you thought about something?”

“Well, it’s not that I thought of something…but it just feels unnatural.”

“Unnatural?”

“Yeah. Think about it. Tsuchiya-kun was lying in the classroom, right?”

‘Yeah.”

“But everyone in class said that they saw him lying there when they came back to the classroom, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you find this weird? It’s not a long time, so why must all the classmates say that they returned to the classroom?”

“Ah, speaking of which…”

Inoue-kun slams a fist into his other hand. Has he thought about something?

“I say, Yuuji. Have you two thought about something?”

“You’re really stupid.”

I’ve been used to being called stupid recently.

“Akihisa-kun, Touko-sempai and Inoue-kun are saying that the crime happened not too long ago, but there wasn’t anyone in the classroom. And after that, everyone returned back to the classroom.”

Himeji-san explains to me in place of the impatient looking Yuuji.

“Yeah. In other words, someone forced all the classmates out to create an empty classroom.”

I can’t help but applaud at Amano-sempai’s brilliant deduction.

I see. In that case, it does seem weird. It’s weird that everyone wasn’t in the class right at the same time, and it’s also suspicious that everyone came back. There must be a reason to it.

“Then, let’s ask again. Oi, Sugawa, come over.”

Yuuji stands up and calls Sugawa-kun from nearby.

“What is it, Sakamoto?”

“It’s about just now. When you left the classroom…”

“Yeah, that’s because…”

Yuuji confirmed this aspect Amano-sempai felt weird about.

After asking many of them, Yuuji comes back.

“How is it, Yuuji?”

“As Amano-sempai deduced, I grasped some new information.”

“What is it?”

“It’s said that everyone went out came back to get Muttsurini’s secret photos that were blown out of the window.

Muttsurini’s secret photos…it’s no wonder that everyone went out to get them. I’ll go running after them if I were around.

However—

“Things are weird here.”

“Yeah.”

We understand that this is something weird.

“Ah? Yoshii-kun? What do you say is weird here?”

Inoue-kun gives a doubtful look. This definitely isn’t something Amano-sempai and Inoue-kun, who aren’t of this school, would understand.

“Muttsurini here is a big pervert.”

“Ah, okay.”

I feel a slight movement from the thing being covered by the curtain. It feels like the corpse is shaking its head, denying that it’s a pervert.

“That guy will never make a rookie’s mistake of letting his secret photos get blown away with the wind.”

“Is, is that so…”

“I guess Muttsurini did that to chase our classmates out.”

“Yeah, this kind of reasoning is logical.”

“Ah? Ah you saying that Tsuchiya-kun got everyone out? For what reason?”

“Who knows…we won’t understand if we don’t investigate…why he died in the first place.”

We did discover something new, but it’s a must to investigate deeply. We still lack information.

“At this moment, the only person we can rely on is Muttsurini.”

“We should have sent him to the infirmary in the first place…”

If Muttsurini were still alive, we could have asked him directly who was the murderer, but he’s now looking dead, so this can’t be helped.

“To investigate…who’s more impressive than Tsuchiya-kun?”

“Even Maki can’t possibly have this intel.”

Himeji-san and Amano-sempai are thinking about the people who can provide us with intel.

Intel…taking photos…tapping…

“Ah.”

My mind suddenly thinks of a girl.

“So you thought of that person too, Akihisa.”

“Un. Since we can’t rely on Muttsurini, we’ll just have to rely on her.”

That’s right, that girl with drill ponytails should know something.[35]

“Looks like we have to bring Shimada over…where is she?”

“Speaking of which, I never saw her. Where is she?”

The girl with the ponytail isn’t around in the classroom. D class Shimizu Miharu will provide us information if her beloved—Minami is around.

“You’re looking for Minami-chan? She just said ‘I don’t want to talk to stupid and ignorant people’ and went back.”

“Ah? Kotobuki said the same thing before leaving. Are they going off together?”

Inoue-kun stared at Himeji-san as he asks.

Kotobuki-san. Is she the girl who came by before, had shoulder-length hair and looked rather proud? She does look like she can get along with Minami. Are they on good relations?

“But this will be tough. If Minami isn’t around, it’ll be rather hard to ask Shimizu-san.”

“Yeah, Shimizu won’t even listen to guys. Even if we ask Himeji to ask her as a girl—”

“—Yeah, it can’t be helped.”

“Ah? Yes? What is it?”

Yuuji and I look over at a certain part on Himeji-san. She’s cute and nice, but the size of that area is vastly different from Shimizu-san’s preference. It’s majestically great, but unfortunately, it can’t work when we ask Shimizu-san for help.

“Ah, it might work if it’s Amano-sempai.”

“Me? Why me?”

“You’re a different kind of girl from Shimada, Amano-sempai, but since you’re pretty and have a nice figure, Shimizu might like it.”

That’s right. Amano-sempai is the perfect candidate. She has a different personality from Minami, but she has nice looks, and is really slender in many aspects, so I guess this can definitely work.

“Yoshii-kun, why do you say Touko-sempai will do?”

“I’ll be honest with you, that girl who has intel…”

“Yeah, so let’s hurry up and ask her—”

“Un, so, we won’t be going, but Amano-sempai will.”

“Really?”

“Konoha-kun, why I have a bad feeling about this out of a sudden…?”

Amano-sempai cuddles herself tightly with both hands.

“Ask Touko-sempai to go?”

“It’s hard to put it…that girl is a little different from normal girls.”

“Besides, this school itself has many weird people…”

“And she’s a girl, but she likes girls more than guys do.”

“Ah…?”

“Also…she’s a little unique in her preferences…to put it, she likes breasts that aren’t ample, small.”

“Simply put, she likes flat chested girls.”

“NOOOOOO!!!!”[36]

On hearing Yuuji’s straightforward words, Amano-sempai screamed out.

“I DEFINITELY WON’T GO! I DON’T HAVE THAT KIND OF PREFERENCE UNLIKE YOSHII-KUN AND SAKAMOTO-KUN!”

““WE DON’T HAVE THAT KIND OF PREFERENCE EITHER!!!””

Yuuji and I argue back in unison. It’ll be bad if we don’t remove this misunderstanding she has about us.

“Anyway, I object to this plan! Think of another!”

Amano-sempai gives a handsign of refusal. Looks like we can’t convince her.

“Any other choices, Yoshii-kun?”

“Hm…there might be, but I can’t think of one…”

“Is that so? This might be hard to pull off…”

Inoue-kun and I think seriously. This really is difficult. Shimizu-san likes girls who’re pretty, flat-chested and skinny. Are there anyone else who fulfill this other than Amano-sempai and Minami—?

“Ahh…”

“??? What is it, Yoshii-kun? Why are you staring at me?’

‘Nothing, I just realized…”

“Yes?”

“Inoue-kun, you have a pretty looking face like a girl.”[37]


“Don’t do this! It definitely won’t work! Anyone can tell at first glance!”

Several minutes later, after Amano-sempai made a call, Maki-sempai immediately got over, and Inoue-kun’s transformation outfit if lined up in a corner of F classroom.

“No, it’s definitely fine, Konoha-kun! I’ve been thinking that you’ll be well suited for female clothing!”

Amano-sempai is really happy, completely different from Inoue-kun, who has been arguing back on hearing my proposal.

“I don’t want to appear in such a manner! Have you been looking at me in such a manner, sempai!? I don’t want you to say such things to me before you graduate, Touko-sempai!”

“I feel that you’ll definitely make a pretty girl! I can assure that!”

“LISTEN TO ME!”

Their conversation sounds like a squabble, and yet doesn’t sound like it.

Inoue-kun’s saying that he’s being treated like this against his will.

But for some reason, Inoue-kun doesn’t seem like an outsider to me.

“Inoue-kun.”

“Yes? What is it, Yoshii-kun?”

I try to talk to him in an emotional manner in order to encourage him, who’s tired from arguing.

Yeah, I don’t know what bonds us, but I just say.

“For some reason, I find that you’re quite similar to me, Inoue-kun.”

“Hurry up and apologize to him, Akihisa. Your words are the biggest shame to him.”[38]

“I’m sorry, Inoue-kun. Akihisa-kun doesn’t have any ill intent at all.”

“Ah? Huh? I just said that he feels similar to me. Why am I being told off?”

It sounds like it’s s shame to be compared to me or something.

“Are you mentally prepared, Konoha-kun?”[39]

As everyone’s enthusiastically talking about me, a carefree and moving voice rings. The one who speaks up is Maki-sempai, who brought along the entire costume set.

“What do you mean by that? Since when am I mentally prepared?”

“Really? Let’s begin then.”

“I say, Maki-sempai, are you even listening to me?”

“Not at all.”

Inoue-kun looks really reluctantly, while Maki-sempai gives a pretty smile as she says such overboard things. That’s a smile only the rich have, one that doesn’t allow for any objections.


—20 minutes later

“So pretty. You’re so cute, Konoha-kun!”

“Wow…amazing…”

“Inoue-kun looks just like a girl here…”

“Yeah, really amazing…”

He has completely become a high school girl.

“I’ve never regretted being the kouhai of this sempai here as much as now…”[40]

Inoue-kun gives an ominous look as he says this. However, this is the expression of a depressed looking girl, and sure makes him look more like a complete woman.

“If we have more time, I want to use hair extensions instead of a wig to make the style more natural, but this will be it for today.

Maki-sempai continues to comb Inoue-kun’s hair as she says this. As a guy, I don’t understand why she’s so particular about the details. To me, Inoue-kun looks like a girl now, and there’s no need to decorate him further.

“Konoha-kun, let’s go shopping when you’re dressed up like this next time. It’ll be fun.”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

Inoue-kun’s long hair swayed with his neck.

His costume is the same as Amano-sempai, a uniform, since we’re in school, but his face and hair has changed completely after some decorating. He looks like a perfect girl no matter how I see it.

“I didn’t adjust the breasts too much as your request, but is it alright?”

Maki-sempai points at Inoue-kun’s chest as she says this. it’s reasonable for her to worry about this since Inoue-kun’s chest is like a cliff now.

“Ah, this should be just fine. It’ll be bad if it’s too big. But speaking of which, if we don’t do anything, and if they get touched, she might be suspicious—”

Yuuji put his hand on Inoue-kun’s chest to check.

And right at this moment.

“…”

Kirishima-san’s passing by the classroom.[41]

“…”

“…”

Yuuji’s body can only freeze up after seeing Kirishima-san as his hand remains on Inoue-kun (girl version)’s chest. Kirishima-san, who witnessed this, is giving him an icy cold look.

Both of them exchange stares, and Yuuji says calmly,

“If…if I can get through this door safely, I want to raise a big white dog…”

He mutters as he looks out of the window with a lost expression.

“…Sakamoto Yuuji. Gather.”[42]

Kirishima-san lets out a deep voice.

“I’ll be right there immediately, ma'am!! (WAH)”

“May you triumph!! (Phew)”[43]

Yuuji gives a proper military salute, and I salute back as I watch his greatness from the back. You must make it back alive, Yuuji…!

“Yoshii-kun, what’s with Sakamoto-kun?”

“Inoue-kun, please pray for that guy too and hope that he comes back alive.”

“??? What are you saying?”

Yuuji vanishes, and the door closes up.

After some weird noises that can’t be explained through words,[44] I seem to hear Yuuji with a calm voice, “Ah, not good, I can’t protect my life anymore.”

After that, KRAK, the classroom door opens.

Kinoshita Hideyoshi appears at the door.

“Yuuji’s being dealt with really badly. What’s going on?”

Looks like he witnessed the tragedy on the corridor. Kirishima-san did just explode in unprecedented rage after all…

“That’s a common thing, don’t mind…speaking of which, why are you here, Hideyoshi?”

“I want to borrow some tables and chairs from an empty classroom for drama, and came by here.”

Hideyoshi looks around the classroom. He then sees Inoue-kun (girl version), Amano-sempai and Maki-sempai.

“Eh? Aren’t they the upperclassmen girls who fought you with summoned beasts the last time?”

“Eh? Have we met? Before?”

Touko-sempai tilts her head curiously. Yeah, speaking of which, Hideyoshi hasn’t met Inoue-kun and the rest properly, and vice versa.

“I’ll introduce then. This classmate of mine here is Kinoshita Hideyoshi.”[45]

“I’m Kinoshita Hideyoshi. Please take care of me.”

“Hideyoshi-kun, huh? I’m Amano Touko. Please take care of me.”

“I’m Himekura Maki, please take care.”

“…Well, …I’m Inoue Konoha…”

In stark contrast to the other two, Inoue-kun greets in an embarrassed manner.

“There’s so many beauties here. If possible, I hope that you’ll can help in the drama club.”

Hideyoshi looks at the trio as he says this. Truly, the drama club will definitely be more exciting with the three of them around.

“Well, Hideyoshi-kun, I’m forced to drag up in like this due to certain reasons. I’m actually a guy—”

“Ahaha, what are you saying, Inoue-kun? Even if I’m an idiot who doesn’t know anything about acting, I know that it’s basically impossible to find a pretty guy like you in this world.”[46]

I feel that I should say something.

“No, I’m really a guy! And I feel that you’re much cuter than I am, Kinoshita-kun.”

“You’re saying that you’re a guy? You really like to kid around, don’t you, Inoue-kun? However, it’s better not to say a lie about me being cuter as a guy.”[47]

I think I just heard a conversation that’s like treading on thin ice.

“Ah, sorry, I won’t have time to practice if I don’t hurry back. Excuse me.”

Hideyoshi takes some tables and chairs from the corner of the classroom and walks out. Looks like he’s very busy with his club activity.

“I’ve witness Inoue’s beauty here. It’s about time for me to leave then.”

Maki-sempai watches Hideyoshi leaves, and happily looks at Inoue-kun’s dress up as she gets ready to pack up and leave.

“Sorry to bother you because of Touko-sempai’s stubbornness.”

“It’s fine. This is a request from my cute Touko-chan here—and you might make a famous model, Konoha-kun.”

“Ah!? Do, don’t say that! I definitely won’t go be a model or something!!”

“See you then! Touko-chan, Konoha-kun, everyone in Fumitzuki Gakuen!”

Maki-sempai simply leaves. She’s pretty, does things straightforwardly, is pretty cool, and has a nice figure. She’s really like a mature lady…

“Akihisa-kun, I think something’s flowing out from your nose?”

“Ah, Himeji-san, why are you angry…”

“Don’t bother. Let’s go then, Touko-sempai, Konoha-kun.”

“Yeah. Everyone will be going back if we loaf around. Let’s go then, Konoha-kun.”

“Ah, wait! I don’t want to go! Wearing this while walking is—hey, don’t drag me!”

“Wait, I’ll go too!”

With Himeji-san leading, Inoue-kun looks rather unhappy as he’s being dragged by Amano-sempai on the arm as we head towards D classroom.


“You can ask anything you want!”

“Well, you’re Shimizu-san, right? Please don’t bring your face too close…”

“Just call me Miharu, Konoha onee-sama.”

On seeing Inoue-kun (or –san?), Shimizu-san immediately started clinging onto him. We really feel awkward and want to leave.

“Mi, Miharu-san,? Don’t you like Shimada-san?”

Inoue-kun looks repulsive of Shimizu-san’s passion as he asks,

“…Really, onee-sama.”

Shimizu-san pouts as she gives an annoyed look. Ah? They quarreled?

“She already has Miharu here, and yet went off with another girl from another school. Onee-sama’s a traitor, so Miharu wants to cheat on her too!”

Ah, I see. Minami left Shimizu-san alone and went off with Kotobuki-san, and that caused Shimizu-san to feel unhappy. That is why she started latching onto Inoue-kun, I suppose?[48]

“Inou—no, Konoha-chan, ask what you want to ask first.”

“Ye, yeah. Can I, Miharu?”

“Okay.”

“There’s a student in F class called Tsuchiya Kouta-san, right?”

“Nope. There’s only Miharu and Konoha onee-sama in this world.”[49]

She actually denied that guy’s existence so directly.

Well, in that case, we’ll just use an underhanded mean.

“Konoha-chan, since Shimizu-san doesn’t know anything, there’s no need for us to stay here. Let’s go somewhere else then.”

“Fumitzuki Gakuen 2-F student Tsuchiya Kouta, nicknamed Muttsurini, height 162cm, 48kg in weight, specialty subject is health education, bad at all other subjects. Has outstanding mobility and information gathering ability and is a boy who can do anything to satisfy his curiosity in sex.”[50]

“Ah, you really answered in quite a detailed manner, Miharu-san…”

“This Miharu has used up 2000 times the usual number of brain cells to answer Konoha onee-sama’s question.”

It does feel really scary when she answers this without an exaggerated expression.

“So about this Tsuchiya-kun, what was he doing after school today? Like, did he meet someone secretly?”

Shimizu-san ponders for a while after hearing Konoha-kun’s question. Wait, is there a need to think? Can’t she just answer directly?

“Looks like Konoha onee-sama wants to find the person who caused the idiotic swine to become like that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Got it. I’ll tell you if you’re willing to date me, Konoha onee-sama.”

As expected, she raised this condition. But this should be fine.

“Got it. You’ll have that then, Shimizu-san.”

“Ah, Yoshii-kun, don’t make decisions on your own!”

(It’ll be fine, Konoha-kun. You won’t be exposed once you remove your girl clothing.)[51]

(You, you’re right, but…)

Inoue-kun gives an awkward expression that says that ‘he’ll be breaking his promise’. He really thinks about others. I dare say that even if we flip all the tatamis in F class, we’ll never be able to find a guy like him.

“Deal’s done. I’ll say then.”

Shimizu-san smirks like a bad guy in a movie.

“It seems that Tsuchiya Kouta met with a girl from A class called Kudou Aiko.”

“Kudou-san?”

Kudou-san’s a tomboyish girl from A class with a huge interest in sex too. She can be considered a worthy opponent for Muttsurini in health education.

“I think he asked about ‘the correct bathing method he missed’.”

“Muttsurini…you…”[52]

Now we understand how he got the nosebleed. Undoubtedly, Muttsurini self-destructed after hearing this topic.

“And it seems that this violence was carried out by the F class guys.”

“Ah, Tsuchiya-kun’s classmate did that?”

Inoue-kun looks shocked the moment he heard that the murderer’s a classmate, but I feel that it’s very normal. It’s usual for the guys in our class to kill our classmates out of jealousy.

“In that case, Kudou-san should have seen the murderer’s face, right?”

“No, she didn’t. The murder was carried out when Tsuchiya-kun was alone.”

In that case, someone in the class knew that Muttsurini and Kudou-san were talking about a very erotic topic, got jealous and started getting vengeful enough to kill.

“Hm…anyway, since the murderer’s a guy from F class, we should be heading back. Let’s go, Konoha-chan.”

“Yeah, thank you. Miharu.”

“Ah, you’re leaving just like this? Can’t you just leave the finding to that swine over there? I want to do things with you, onee-sama...”

“Ah, no…I feel that this might be dangerous…”

“Speaking of which, Miharu here has the key to the infirmary. There’s a bed over there, so we can…”[53]

“Le, let’s hurry back, Yoshii-kun! We have to find the murderer quickly and study «The Tale of Genji»!”

“Ah! Onee-saama! In that case, please listen to me!!”

“What is it, Miharu-san?”

“A few days ago, maybe out of coincidence, Miharu here read an ancient classic.”

“Yes.”

“If you want to learn, won’t «A Thousand and One Nights» be better than «The Tale of Genji»?”[54]

“What…?”

“If there’s anything bothering you, please look for Miharu. Miharu here will always be waiting for you in the infirmary.”


“The guy who attacked Muttsurini is a classmate. That’s definitely out of jealousy…”

We let Himeji-san and Amano-sempai retreat back first for safety reasons beforehand, and once we meet up, everyone arrange the information we have as we head back to F classroom.

“Kudou-san’s a cute girl, so it’s understandable that everyone in class will feel a little envious about Tsuchiya-kun talking to Kudou-san like that.”

It’s really Himeji-san’s naiveness that causes her to call this envy. But it’s more of jealousy in the first place as someone’s hurt.

“I suddenly remember the «Tale of Genji» you just talked about, Amano-sempai, hurting others because of jealousy.”

“Yeah. It’s a little different, but the fact is that a tragedy occurred because of jealousy.”

We’re not too familiar with that story, so we may feel that these two stories are similar. Or rather, we might feel that they’re similar because such a situation happened after hearing the synopsis.

“Speaking of which, Miharu-san said something weird at the end.”

The one who speaks up in the pitiful Inoue-san who hasn’t have time to get rid of his girl outfit due to time constraints.

“You’re talking about that «One Thousand and One Nights» might be more appropriate than the «Tale of Genji»?”

“Yes.”

Why did she say this? Does this have anything to do with the case?

“The «One Thousand and One Nights» is a story about a woman telling stories to a king to prevent being killed every night, right? What has this case got to do with it?”

“Ah, I know that too. The king got engrossed with the stories and couldn’t kill that woman in the end.”

I think I heard of this fairy tale before.

“Yoshii-kun, Mizuki-chan, that’s just a small part of this story. «One Thousand and One Nights» is a collection of stories. One of them includes a story called «The Fisherman and the genie», where a genie can appear from a lamp to grant a person 3 wishes. There’s also a love story of the former princess Zumurrud and the rich man’s son Ali Shar, and many more stories.

As expected of the Book Girl, she can say out the content of the book flawlessly without looking. Amano-sempai’s passion about books can’t be compared to anyone.

“But why would the «One Thousand and One Nights» be more appropriate here than the «Tale of Genji» I feel that the «Tale of Genji» will be more suited for this case…”

“Yeah. I don’t understand what Miharu-san is trying to say.”

The 4 of us sink into deep thought. Why? Is there a hint, or did she just say it randomly?

We keep thinking as we continue walking down the corridor, before finally reaching F classroom.

But things look bad.

“It’s really time-consuming to remove Muttsurini’s blood stains.”

“How troublesome.”

“But Ironman will yap if we don’t remove them. Also, the floor will be dirtied.”

Some of our classmates are coming out from the classroom, preparing to go home.

“What should we do? If this keeps up, everyone will go back, and we haven’t found the murderer yet!”

“Yoshii-kun…that might be the case, but we don’t have a shred of clue here.”

Eh…! Are we just going to watch the murderer leave? We can’t take revenge for Muttsurini, can’t get back the taken file. How can I take this…!

“It’ll be fine, Yoshii-kun. I have a plan, so please go back and gather everyone back in class.”

Touko-sempai says to me as I grit my teeth.

“Touko-sempai, do you know who the murderer is?”

“No. But I guess it’s fine if I don’t.”

Since Touko-sempai has such confidence, I’ll just follow what she says then. There’s not much time.

“Got it. I’ll gather everyone then. Oi, everyone, don’t hurry back home yet! I have something to say to everyone. Return back please.”

“Huh? What is it?”

“I thought we can go home already.”

“How unlucky.”

“These girls here have things to say to everyone.”

“We’ll just sit down then.”

“Right, let’s sit.”

“We can only sit down then.”

On seeing Amano-sempai and Inoue-kun in girl outfit, everyone neatly line up and return back to class. It’s really great that these guys are so obedient.

“Then, Amano-sempai, please.”

“Okay.”

As everyone looks at her while being abnormally still, Amano-sempai walks forward and coughs lightly.

“We’re looking for the murderer that caused Tsuchiya-kun to be in such a terrible state.”

Amano-sempai says sternly. It’s like she became a completely different person from before.

“Unfortunately, it seems that the murderer is around us.”

Amano-sempai finish, and there’s a commotion in the classroom, each saying that it’s not them.

(Inoue-kun, we don’t know who the murderer is, so what is Amano-sempai planning to do?)

(Well…I have no idea what she’s thinking either, but it should be alright.)

(Really?)

(Yeah. Besides, it’s sempai we’re talking here.)

Inoue-kun, who’s right beside me, doesn’t look too worried. I guess this is the trust they have between them.

“I heard that it was out of jealousy because Tsuchiya-kun and Kudou-san were talking so passionately.”

This motive is very common, so we can’t actually tell who the murderer is. How is Amano-sempai planning to find the murderer now?

“Coincidentally, I heard that your class just studied the «Tale of Genji», so let me tell you a story in it.”

The classmates immediately quiet down, and everyone prick their ears to listen to Amano-sempai.

“Everyone knows that Lady Rokujou cursed Aoi no Ue out of jealousy. When she was about to die, she became a ghost that cursed the lady Murasaki whom Genji loved most in his lifetime. She was unable to face Genji honestly, couldn’t express her strong feelings, and ended up hurting others. It was really a tragic story.”

My classmates all lower their heads, seemingly thinking over Amano-sempai’s words—but that’s impossible. They’re obviously showing the ‘What’s the «Tale of Genji»? Can it be eaten’ look?

“But please recall what happened later, what her Lady Rokujou’s daughter, Empress Akikomaru did after knowing that her mother cursed someone to death.”

Amano-sempai pauses here, probably to let everyone think.

Then, she says slowly.

“Empress Akikomaru was worried that her mother became like this, and even thought of becoming a nun to pray for her mother.”

Amano-sempai then tells us the continuation of the «Tale of Genji» everyone didn’t know of.

“This story…isn’t telling us that strong feelings aren’t right, but to tell us this, that it’s not right to become jealous of others just because you can’t convey your feelings properly. As she was proud, Lady Rokujou couldn’t convey her feelings to Genji. Her being unable to convey her feelings caused many tragedies. The outcome of being unable to express their thoughts would be sadness and revenge. This is the true essence of what this story is telling us. It might be difficult to convey your feelings properly. If she could do this, there wouldn’t be many people dying, and Genji wouldn’t be so scared of her. Maybe, if he had known of her feelings for him, they might have fallen in love, and her beloved daughter wouldn’t be so worried.”

Amano-sempai’s right. It’s scary to curse others, but the feeling to hope for others to love should be a happy thing. Maybe they could have lived on happily had she expressed her thoughts truly if Lady Rokujou wasn’t jealous.

“So I hope that the person who did that to Tsuchiya-kun step forward. If you like Kudou-san, admit your crime and tell her your feelings. In that case, you won’t feel worried, and this is for her sake too—this Kudou-san.”

I see. So this is what Amano-sempai wants to say. Using this «Tale of Genji» story to tell the murderer that he should just admit his feelings to that person directly instead of hurting others, and that will be true happiness. In that case, that murderer who likes Kudou-san will definitely stand out to admit his crime.

“…Ah? Like Kudou-san?”

I suddenly notice this.

Damn it. Amano-sempai seems to be mistaken about something here. She seems to think that the person was jealous that Muttsurini was able to talk to Kudou-san so happily because the murderer likes her. Yeah, ordinary people will think this way.

However, this is unlikely to be the case in reality. In this F class, the murderer isn’t acting because he likes Kudou-san. He simply doesn’t want Muttsurini to get his happiness first. The murderer might not stand up if we try and convince them like this—[55]

“And girls feel that simple and honest guys are charming.”[56]

“I did it.”

Our F class guys are too simple-minded!

Then, Sugawa-kun, you’re the real murderer?’

“Yeah? I heard the conversation between Kudou and him that made me jealous from the voice recorder, and couldn’t help but take action. I’m an unforgivable traitor.”

Sugawa-kun shows a regretful expression. Sure looks like he did it.

“Great, now the case is solved.”

Amano-sempai nods. Great, now everything’s solved—

“…I did it too.”

—Ah?

I couldn’t help but wonder if I heard that correctly. Eh? Isn’t the murderer Sugawa-kun?

“Asakura-kun, you too…”

“Yeah, Tsuchiya’s betrayal is unforgivable.”[57]

Asakura-kun stands up from right behind Sugawa-kun.

Then.

“Actually, I did it too.”

Udou-kun beside him stands up too.

Huh? What’s with this?

“Sorry, actually, I…”

“Well, actually, I did it too.”

“What a coincidence, I did it too.”

Kondou-kun, Saitou-kun and Takenaka-kun all stand up.

Then, this means…

“Don’t tell me everyone took part…? After seeing Tsuchiya-kun on the floor, everyone, one after another…”

Himeji-san’s shocked.

Don’t tell me that the first murderer who saw Muttsurini nosebleed on the floor carried out the act of violence, left happily, and the classmates behind saw him like this, beat him up, and this continued…is this it!?

“What, I thought I was the only one who did it.”

“Speaking of which, wasn’t everyone lined up at the corridor?’

“Yeah. I noticed it too.”

“If everyone did it, there’s nothing to be scared about.”

“Yeah, it sure feels nice after beating him up.”

“I even hid the bug in my clothes after beating him up.”

Such, such a cruel class…I’m so shocked that I’m speechless.

“Yo, Yoshii-kun…is everyone in this class like this?”

“Un, yeah, everyone’s always...”

I’m already too tired to explain things to the wide-eyed Inoue-kun.

“Is, is that so…”

“Sorry for causing you guys trouble…”

“Sorry, Inoue-kun.”

Himeji-san and I lower our heads in apology.

“I SAY, YOU GUYS ARE TO REFLECT ON THIS!!”[58]

Amano-sempai tells off our classmates on the podium.


“In the end, we couldn’t have our classics remedial, Touko-sempai.”

“Yeah. It couldn’t be helped. How could we study in that situation?”

“It’s really not the time to study…ah, speaking of which…”

“What is it? Konoha-kun?”

“What has the One Thousand and One Nights Miharu-san said at the end got to do with this?”

“Now that you mention it, it does seem to have a bit of relation.”

“Ah? Is that so?”

“In that One Thousand and One Nights, there’s a story called «The Hunchback’s Tale»..”

“Really? What’s that story about?”

“A murderer couple is moving the corpse to another place. Another person who sees the corpse thinks that he’s a thief and kicked it, and this person thinks he killed the person and moved it somewhere else. Another person then thinks he killed it and moved it somewhere else…it’s this kind of a story.”

“Now that you mention it, this is a little…”

“Similar to this situation, right?”

“Yeah—ah? Does that mean that Shimizu-san already knew who the murderer is when she said that?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why didn’t she tell me?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

“??”

“Think about it. if you couldn’t find the murderer, won’t you go look for her, Konoha-chan?”

“…”

“Alright, it’s late now. We should head back, Konoha-chan.”

“Touko-sempai, I’m definitely breaking all ties with you the next time you call me that.”

—END—


Author’s Notes[edit]

Note: Please read ‘Book Girl and the Summoned Beast summoned by the girl’ and ‘Book Girl and the Killed-off Idiot’ before reading this.

Inoue Kenji here believes that all sorts of possibilities exist within humans.

I feel that it’s very irresponsible to conclude that ‘It’s impossible to do that’ and ‘I don’t have that kind of ability’ before trying to do it.

Why must you give up before you even start working on it?

Why must you think of those unnecessary problems and not try to do it?

A lot of possibilities exist in humans. The future will change according to our hard work. So I hope everyone won’t give up before you even start, and you should challenge with all you have no matter what matters you face.

I intended to use this theme to write my thoughts about Bungaku Shoujo.


“I won’t be doing naked modelling and cosplay either.”

—Inoue Konoha’s quote from ‘Book Girl and the Summoned Beast summoned by the girl’.


Why must you say such a thing before you even begin?

Konoha-kun, you gave up too early. You have all sorts of possibilities waiting for you.

This story began with this rotten concept. I want Konoha-kun to taste this suffering, and put how he looks in this illustration. To be honest, this terrifying act is overboard. I really apologize to the original author Nomura-san, illustrator Takeoka-san, and all the fans of Bungaku Shoujo for showing such unbearable parts.

Also, I’ll like to use this chance to express my thanks.

Takenaka-san, who helped me with the illustrations, the original author Nomura-san, and to all the editors and designers who helped make this text a book, I earnestly thank you all. And to all you readers too, as this book can be born thanks to your support. Thank you, everyone. I hope that we can have a chance to meet in the future.

Also, the opening words are not meant to recommend everyone to crossdress or do any unique things. It is very important to have the courage to step forward and the courage to stop.

Inoue Kenji


Original Author’s Comments[edit]

Hello everyone.

I had always been thinking that Konoha-kun would be well suited to crossdress.

Guys who are good at dressing up as girls are the best! I like them all!

When I got the template to Konoha-kun’s character design, I had been thinking that it will be perfect for him to crossdress, and think that it will be great if that really happens to him. However…it will break the serious mood if I write that in the main story…I really feel like crying.

Thank you, Inoue-san! Well done!

When the editor-in-charge told me that Inoue-san will be writing this collaborative work with «Bungaku Shoujo», I was nearly squealing and jumping in happiness. But I did not expect Inoue-san to give me such a great surprise.

When I was waiting for the story to be mailed over, I got excited and anxious. After reading it, I got even more excited as I said enthusiastically to the editor-in-charge.

“You must have an illustration for this part! Please help! I’m not kidding. You must draw it out in a pretty girl style. Please help me tell this to Takeoka-san!”

I made this request.

Takeoka-san, I’m sorry for troubling you…

But I believe that Konoha-chan in sailor uniform will definitely look very cute. I have not seen the illustration when writing this afterword, but I believe so.

Ah, I wrote so much regarding Konoha crossdressing, but the other parts are exciting too.

F class is as noisy as ever. I like the slapstick between Yuuji and Shouko. Hideyoshi’s acting as a heroine as usual and having a misunderstanding with Konoha, and as for Touko, well, I am already used to her antics (laughs).

If there is a next time, I hope to read about Miharu and Konoha-chan’s date[59], and also Touko and Tsuchiya’s duel of senses[60]. Alright, I will stop here.

29 September 2008

Nomura Mizuki




Idiots, Staircase and Summoned Beasts[61][edit]

The distance looked to be about 200m when viewed directly.

Kanba Yukihiro sighed as he looked up at this building in front of him. He looked slowly at both left and right side, and there were 12 students, including Yukihiro, standing in front of the terminal that was placed quite some distance away. Their uniforms were of the male and female variety, of different styles. One of them was the uniform Tenguihama Academy’s Yukihiro was wearing, while the other…

“…Feels just like a date.”

The boy had been muttering sternly since just now. He was wearing the same uniform as Yoshii Akihisa’s Fumitzuki Academy. The ratio in numbers between Tenguihama and Fumitzuki was 1 is to 1. In other words, there were 6 people on both sides.

“You ready? We’re going to begin.”

The boy beside Akihisa said. This boy had an athletic frame, sharp eyes and short hair that gave a deep impression. His name was Sakamoto Yuuji, and like Akihisa, he was a second year of Fumitzuki Academy. On a side note, the people on Fumitzuki Academy’s side were all second years.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s hurry up then!”

An energetic petite girl’s voice answered Sakamoto impatiently as the girl jumped around.

The girl was Kokonoe Yuuko, and her round cat-like eyes were rolling. She was a third year from Tenguihama. Behind her, a delinquent-looking boy then said, “Then, let’s begin!” His name was Izutsu Ken, a student from Tenguihama, and like Yukihiro, he was a first year.

“Pl, please take care of me.”

The one who asked politely was a beauty with nice flowing long hair. She was a student of Fumitzuki Academy, Himeji Mizuki.

“Please take care of me too.”

On hearing Himeji’s greeting, a lanky girl with nice flowing black hair bowed. Also, a bespectacled boy bowed lightly too. The girl’s name was Amagasaki Izumi, and the boy was Saegusa Souji. Both of them were second years in Tenguihama.

“Please take care of me!”

A confident-looking ponytailed girl waved her hand, and a boy with nondescript appearance nodded. The ponytailed-girl was called Shimada Minami, and the nondescript boy was called Tsuchiya Kouta. Both of them were students from Fumitzuki Academy.

“This atmosphere sure feels comfortable.”

The last person from Fumitzuki Academy who said this was a pretty girl with a rather unique choice of words. He, Kinoshita Hideyoshi, was a student who looked like a pretty girl, albeit sounding rather old-fashioned.

“Is everyone ready? We can begin.”

The last person from Tenguihama said. This handsome looking boy who gave off a sharp and primitive vibe looked around at everyone. He was a 3rd year of Tenguihama, Kariya Kengo. Everyone nodded after hearing his words, took a slight breath, and call out.

“““SUMMON!”””


Everything started from a mere moment of inspiration from Kokonoe.

“This is the one. The people from the school everyone’s talking about is here!”

The club president Kokonoe suddenly called out in the ‘club room’ of the staircase club Yukihiro belonged to, the roof of Tenguihama’s first sports hall. She waved a piece of A4 paper, and Yukihiro took a piece of paper from her.

“Is this ‘test summoning system’ Fumitzuki Academy a famous school?”

The paper had a brief introduction of Fumitzuki Academy, which used the ‘test summoning system’, and a rough explanation of the activities that would be held the next day. The place was not too far away from here, but Yukihiro did not understand the content on the paper.

“You haven’t heard of Fumitzuki Academy, Badge?[62] It’s very famous.”

Kokonoe widened her eyes in shock as she asked. Yukihiro shook his head and asked Izutsu beside him,

“Do you know?”

“What do you mean? I did hear of Fumitzuki Academy before. It’s that high school that assigns classes according to test scores, right?”

“Fumitzuki Academy, is it?”

Saegusa helped elaborate on the vague explanation Izutsu gave.

“They sort the students according to their grades starting from the second year, and imported a world-leading system, the ‘test summoning system’, where they could call out summoned beasts whose strength is based on the test results.”

“Summoned beasts, huh? Sounds like a video game.”

Yukihiro muttered. Saegusa’s eyes lit up as he nudged his glasses up, saying,

“Yeah, that’s a kind of game. Besides, the students in the class had to use the summoned beasts for battle.”

“Ah, battle?”

“Yeah. I just said that they sort classes based on the scores. As for the class facilities, the highest ranked A class differ greatly from the lowest ranked F class. If they wanted to study in a good environment, they would need to work hard to enter the better class. Thus, students would have to fight using battles to decide who’s better. The strength of the summoned beasts are proportional to their scores, so if they want to have a better classroom, they would have to work hard to get better scores. In that case, the students would work harder on their own to get better scores. This was the aim of the school.”

“Sounds really hot-blooded.”

Izutsu sighed out as he said. However, Yukihiro was still puzzled.

“But the normal test scores are 100 at maximum, right? There has to be a limit no matter what, so how can they pull this gap?”

“Most of the schools are as such. However, Fumitzuki Academy’s test scoring system doesn’t have an upper limit, only a time limit, and there is an unlimited number of questions. In other words, they are to answer as many questions as possible within a given time. There’s no concept of full marks there, and it’s said that someone got 500 points in a single subject.”

“Wow…”

Izutsu called out.

“How is it? It’s nice, right? The Fumitzuki Academy system introduction talk will begin tomorrow. I got a piece of this paper from the staff’s office printer.”

Kokonoe happily took the piece of paper from Yukihiro.

“Is this really fine?”

Yukihiro asked.

“There’s still more.”

Kokonoe answered nonchalantly.

“Then, how about everyone go take a look during the next rest period?”

Amagasaki, who had been listening silently, cautiously raised her hand to raise her opinion, but Kokonoe shook her head and said.

“What are you saying, Izumi-chan? Why should we wait for so long? Let’s go now! They already printed the promotional poster beforehand, so that means that there’s some form of preparation for the event going on, and the people involved are going over there to play. Isn’t this too sneaky? I feel we have the right to take part too.”

“Such a lame argument.”

Yukihiro sighed as he looked around for help. At this moment, Kariya, who did not show much in this conversation, stepped forward to say.

“I don’t care about any preparations beforehand, but we’re not people involved in this, so we have no rights to take part. Let’s begin club activity today.”

Kariya interrupted the conversation skillfully, but Kokonoe would not give up.

“What are you saying? We’re related personnel here. Look!”

Kokonoe put the piece of paper in front of Kariya, and pointed at the words on it. Kariya merely answered with an ‘oh’.

“The event is sponsored by Izumi’s family company, Tenma Corporation.”

Kariya looked over at Amagasaki, who responded shyly with a ‘yes’.

“But I don’t have too much involvement—”

“That’s how it is. As Izumi-chan’s friend, everyone in the staircase club have the right to take part in this activity beforehand. Let’s get going!”

“But there’s a problem with whether there’s a preparatory event before hand—”

“Well, I’m not too certain actually—”

“Okay okay. Everyone, let’s get ready. There’s not much time left.”


At Kokonoe’s insistence, Yukihiro and the rest had to be there.

Everyone managed to get there successfully. Of course, the preparatory event did not happen. Just like that, Kokonoe happily looked around, saying that there would be something interesting.

There were no guards assigned at the entrance, and as there were many office vehicles entering and leaving, the gates were wide open. They knew that it would be bad to enter on their own, so Kokonoe could only stand at the entrance and look inside.

“There’s nothing special here. Let’s hurry back, prez.”

Kariya said from behind Kokonoe. Yukihiro and the gang were at the Amagasaki Conference plaza that would be used for the briefing the next day. This place belonged to the Tenma Corporation, and was loaned to Fumitzuki Academy for this activity.

It seemed that both sides were planning some event together, but Amagasaki herself did not know the details.

“Oi, are you done?”

Kariya wanted to grab Kokonoe by the collar, but she cried out.

“The kid’s moving the podium.”

Kokonoe was not saying anything really shocking. However, her round eyes got even rounder. She looked back at Yukihiro and the rest and waved at them. The gang could only move over.

“What is it, Kokonoe-sempai? Is there anything shocking here—”

That was a podium that would be used for an orchestra, taller than a human, yet the kid was able to move it easily.

“…”

Kariya was speechless. The kid that was moving the large podium with his back facing Yukihiro and the gang was walking and soon vanished behind the building.

“…Let’s start chasing after it.”

Suddenly, Kokonoe charged out before anyone could stop her. Izutsu followed her, and then, Kariya, Amagasaki, Yukihiro, and Saegusa followed suit.

There seemed to be a tail behind the kid that was moving the podium, and its ears seemed to be sharp. Even if it was a kid, its body proportions were weird. The limbs were unnaturally short, and the head was very big. If its size were of an ordinary person’s, it might even be seen as a puppet. However, as it was less than 1m tall, that would be impossible.

“Don’t you find that kid strange?”

Yukihiro asked Saegusa behind him, and Saegusa merely curled his lips without answering. At this moment, they heard a gruff voice from the front.

“Yoshii, put this on the stage. The workers will be here soon.”

Yukihiro got over to Kokonoe and the rest who were hiding in the shadows of the building and looked over. That kid put the podium on the stage, and there were a few adults who looked like workers. Not too far away from them was a man who looked like a sports teacher. He was dressed in shorts and pants, seemingly showing off his tan muscles as he instructed the boy beside him.

That boy was Yoshii Akihisa. He, who was wearing the uniform of Fumitzuki Academy, was looking tired as he stared at the podium.

“Se, sensei, I’ll be grateful here if you let me rest.”

On hearing Akihisa’s words, the teacher folded his arms.

“What? How useless you are, Yoshii. You can’t take it after a mere 5 hours of manual labor?”

“No…I’m a human compared to you, Iro…no, Nishimura-sensei.”

“Oh really? You’re saying as if I’m not human.”

“Ah, no. I guess you can be considered a human, Nishimura-sensei.”[63]

“Yoshii, grit your teeth and keep working.”

“Huh? Why?”

That sport teacher-looking man (it seemed that he was called Nishimura-sensei) had a manzai[64]-like conversation with Akihisa. Soon, the teacher relented.

“…Never mind. I’ll let you rest for a while.”

“Thanks. How long do I need to rest?”

“Hm. 3 seconds will do.”

“Don’t I even have a minute? Is it even legal to have rest periods in single-digit seconds?”

“Just kidding. Just rest whenever you want when I’m not calling you.”[65]

The man said that as he moved towards the stage, and Akihisa sat down relaxed. The kid that moved the podium ran to him.

“Really, you can’t just boss me around like that even if it’s punishment…”

Akihisa muttered as he looked over at the kid. The kid suddenly vanished.

“Ah, no way!”

Kokonoe called out, and Akihisa, who heard that voice, immediately lifted his head. Both their stares met each other, and Kokonoe ran to Akihisa before shouting loudly.

“Where’s the kid? Where did you hide him? Spill it!”

“Ah? You’re mistaken right? I didn’t kidnap any kid.”[66]

“Fess up if you don’t want to suffer. I have evidence here!”

Kokonoe continued pressing on, and Akihisa lowered his head. Yukihiro and the rest came out from the shadows, and they had to stop Kokonoe from going out of control. At this moment, they saw three people walk towards Kokonoe and Akihisa.

“I saw it for myself. You abducted the kid and did terrible things to him.”

Kokonoe forcefully interrogated Akihisa, and Akihisa was unable to process what was going on perhaps due to things happening too suddenly. He muttered,

“…What should I do? Should I admit it?”[67]

“So that’s how it is, Akihisa. You finally did it in the end. I knew you’ll end up going down this path sooner or later…”[68]

“I didn’t expect you to abduct a kid, a boy at that, you pervert! You definitely have that kind of perverted preference!”[69]

“There’s still time to repent. Reflect and repent on your actions, Akihisa.”[70]

The trio walking towards Akihisa said with serious expressions. Just when everyone thought that Akihisa would cry out “I’m sorry, everyone, I’m guilt.”, he suddenly stood up.

“WHAT NONSENSE ARE YOU SPOUTING! DON’T CALL OTHERS A CRIMINAL LIKE THAT! ALSO, WHY ARE YOU HERE ANYWAY, YUUJI, MINAMI, HIDEYOSHI!? I THOUGHT I’M THE ONLY ONE BROUGHT HERE FOR PUNISHMENT!?”

Akihisa asked the students who suddenly appeared.

“Quick thinking there.”

“So so.”

Sakamoto Yuuji and Shimada Minami whispered. Sakamoto then answered.

“That’s because you interesting…situation worries us. That’s why we came here.”

“Did you just say ‘interesting’?”

“I said that ‘you’re interesting’. Besides, you’re an interesting guy no matter when.”

“Yeah yeah. You’re the most interesting guy in school.”[71]

“The way you come up with excuses when you’re late is a classic. You actually unabashedly said to Ironman that ‘the traffic lights didn’t turn green’ there.”

“It’s nothing impressive…”

“Akihisa, you’re really an idiot.”

“Weren’t you praising me just now, Yuuji?”

“Yeah, just treat it as such. Speaking of which, is it really fine to leave those guys over there?”

At this moment, Yukihiro and the rest could finally join in the conversation.

“I apologize for this idiot’s actions. I’m a 3rd year from Tengurihama Academy nearby, Kariya Kengo. This person here is Kokonoe Yuuko. Sorry for intruding, but we just came to scout the place.”

“You’re Tengurihama students?”

Kariya quickly stepped forward to press on Kokonoe’s head as he introduced himself. Sakamoto patted Akihisa on the shoulder too, and said,

“I want to apologize for this idiot’s rude actions. I’m Sakamoto Yuuji, and this guy is—”

While talking, he turned to look at Akihisa, and said in a puzzled manner,

“Who’s this guy?”

“Ah? What’s with you, Yuuji? You suddenly lost your memory?”

“Speaking of which, who’re you?”

“Never met you before.”

Shimada and Kinoshita Hideyoshi showed puzzled expressions after Sakamoto. In this situation, Akihisa was shocked.

“…Who, who am I?”

“Didn’t they call you ‘Akihisa’?”

Yukihiro said.

“Someone even called you Yoshii just now. I guess your name is Yoshii Akihisa, right?”

Saegusa added. At this moment, Sakamoto and the rest gave looks for regret.

“Seriously, they saw through it so quickly.”

“How rude. I nearly forgot who I am there.”

Akihisa heaved a sigh of relief as he grumbled to Sakamoto and the rest.

“I think you’re really amazing to forget who you are just because of a little problem.”

Shimada sighed as she shook her head. Akihisa stared at her with a hurt expression as he said.

“Wha, what? You’re saying it as if I’m an idiot.”

“You’re obviously one.”

Sakamoto then left these words, and then said to Yukihiro and the rest.

“His idiocy is at this level, Yoshii Akihisa, the most symbolic idiot amongst our second year, no, amongst our entire school.”

“…Really?”

On hearing Sakamoto’s introduction, Yukihiro could only answer back vaguely.

“Wow, so this is a summoned beast. How cute.”

After the introductions, Kokonoe looked at Akihisa’s summoned beast and said this happily.

According to Akihisa, he was called here to help with the preparations as a punishment. Sakamoto and the rest were his friends, and they came to watch him.

“The other schools will probably find this interesting. Try training this guy. This guy likes having other people train it.”

Sakamoto said to Kokonoe, who giggles as she said,

“Really? Let me try.”

Kokonoe then reached her hand out.

“Ah? Hold on. What’s going on?”

Akihisa did not understand. Sakamoto whispered to him,

“Akihisa, show her our school’s specialty. You might get your punishment reduced.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can guarantee it?’

“Got it! Kokonoe-sempai, you can train it all you want.”

Before Kokonoe could even start teasing, Akihisa’s summoned beast was kicked away by Shimada.

“Is that even possible? How can you even let yourself get tricked by Sakamoto like that?”

“Because he’s an idiot.”

“He’s an idiot.”

Sakamoto, and Kinoshita Hideyoshi nodded. As of this point, Akihisa was kneeling on the ground, painfully clutching his stomach.

“Minami…there’s no need to kick me when you remind me, right?”

“Sorry, I just came back from overseas. I don’t really understand Japanese well.”

“YOU’RE LYING, YOU’RE DEFINITELY LYING THERE!”

“Let’s not talk about this for now.”

Kokonoe interrupted Akihisa’s grumbling and started talking about the summoned beasts.

“Normally, summoned beasts can’t be called out without a teacher present. However, this plaza has a summoning boundary set all over this place, so we can call out summoned beasts like this guy.”

“Then, you can call out your summoned beast too, right, Sakamoto-kun?”

“Of course.”

With Kokonoe’s request, “Summon!” Sakamoto shouted. An 80cm tall summoned beast then appeared at Sakamoto’s feet. Kokonoe happily reached for the summoned beast.

“Huh?”

However, she could not touch it. Her outstretched hand went through the summoned beast’s body.

“Normally, summoned beasts can’t be touched. Only summoned beasts can touch each other. However, this guy’s summoned beast is special, and you can step on it like this.”

Yuuji said as he kept stamping on Akihisa’s summoned beast.

“WAIT, YUUJI! IT FEELS WEIRD WHEN YOU’RE STEPPING ON MY SUMMONED BEAST LIKE THIS!”

Akihisa cried out on agony on the floor.

“That means it’s fine when it’s Himeji?”

“…”[72]

“You hesitated!? Your tastes aren’t ordinary!”

Shimada took two steps back, and Akihisa hurriedly tried to defend himself.

“No, that’s not it. I wasn’t hesitating! Just imagining!”

“YOU BIG PERVERT!!”

This time, Shimada didn’t aim for the summoned beast, but sent a kick right at Akihisa’s stomach.

“Speaking of which, where did Himeji and Muttsurini go?”

Sakamoto easily changed the topic as he looked around.

“I don’t know about Mizuki, but I’m not sure about Tsuchiya either…”

Shimada answered. At this moment, Akihisa quickly got up.

“What? Don’t tell me Himeji-san and Muttsurini are together, Minami?”

“No, Tsuchiya just disappeared out of a sudden.”

“This is bad. I hope Muttsurini won’t do anything rash.”[73]

“We might end up having to call the cops soon.”

Kinoshita and Sakamoto said with serious expressions. On a side note, despite looking seriously, Sakamoto’s foot was still stepping on Akihisa’s summoned beast.

“Excuse me…”

Just when Yukihiro was about to ask about Tsuchiya, Kariya behind him raised his hand.

“Is the student you call Tsuchiya this guy?”

Everyone looked back and saw that Tsuchiya Kouta was tied up by Kariya and Izutsu, shaking his head continuously for some reason.

“This guy was basically sprawled on the floor trying to peep at the upskirt of Izumi-chan, and we suppressed him…”

Tsuchiya shook his head.

“Really? Sorry to trouble you guys.”

Sakamoto got Tsuchiya over, and Tsuchiya shook his head harder with Akihisa and the rest looking at him.

“Let’s see what ideas you have, Muttsurini.”

“Why were you crawling?”

Sakamoto and Shimada questioned, and Tsuchiya whispered.

“…Observing ants.”[74]

“Seriously, do you think you’re a primary school kid?”

Sakamoto seemed somewhat lethargic, and Yukihiro felt the same as well.

“Ah, Akihisa-kun, everyone’s here.”

At this moment, a pretty girl with nice flowing hair and slender body came running over. She was Himeji Mizuki.

“It’s great that you’re alright!”

Akihisa happily went over, and got tripped by Shimada.

“Wha, what’s going on? Are you alright, Akihisa-kun?”

Himeji showed a puzzled expression, and Shimada muttered that it was nothing as she stepped onto Akihisa, keeping Himeji behind her.

“…Why do I feel that I had been stamped on ever since just now? It hurts!”

Akihisa was suddenly rolling on the floor, and Shimada could only move her foot away and ask, “What’s with you?” Akihisa stared at his summoned beast.

“Eh? Will the owner feel pain when the summoned beast is grabbed?”

Kokonoe continued to tease Akihisa’s summoned beast.

“Of, of course it will. When my summoned beast takes damage, some of the feedback will be reflected back on the owner…”

“Oh! is that so?”

Kokonoe answered as she started grabbing the summoned beast’s arms and play with them like dolls. Akihisa started rolling around in pain.

“Please stop.”

“…Amazing. I totally respect you for being able to even do this.”

Sakamoto showed his fear and admiration for Kokonoe.

“Stop it, Yuuko.”

Kariya grabbed the summoned beast from Kokonoe’s demonic clutches. Akihisa finally got release as he laid on the floor, panting heavily.

Kokonoe looked unhappy as her toy (?) was taken away. Sakamoto and the rest looked at each other, and Saegusa took out his laptop and said,

“Normally, the summoned beasts aren’t used for playing for this particular reason. But as this is an event ground, anyone can summon as long as they take the tests. The activity starts tomorrow, but the system is set up, right?”

“That old hag..old principal does things very quickly, so I guess she already got things set up.”

Sakamoto answered. The eyes hidden behind Saegusa’s glasses showed a glint.

“Then, can you bring us to where the terminal is? I may be able to activate it in this case.”

Yukihiro and the rest head towards the arena where the terminal for the ‘test summoning system’ was. Saegusa plugged the laptop into the terminal, hacked into the system, and activated the system that was on standby.

“Then, let’s look at everyone’s abilities. The teachers in charge of the subjects will normally be the ones deciding the subject for the summoned beasts use. However, everyone can summon using their favorite subject, so go ahead and test yourself with your best subject.”

“Okay.”

Kokonoe was the first one to run over, and Yukihiro was the next, running enthusiastically forward to try this. Yukihiro chose maths as his subject, since he was often forced to study maths as his older sister was a maths teacher. He had most confidence in this subject.

“The time limit is one hour. Get ready…”

Yukihiro put his watch on the table and started answering the questions.


An hour later, Yukihiro and the rest got their summoned beasts.

“Wah! How cute! They’re really cute! Everyone, check out my summoned beast!”

Kokonoe danced around excitedly once she saw her summoned beast. The mini Kokonoe-chan started dancing with her movements. It was a girl with tiger ears and tail.

“Kokonoe-sempai, your summoned beast’s movements are really refined.”

Yukihiro looked at his summoned beast as he said. His summoned beast could only do simple movements as he was not used to controlling them. Izutsu and the rest were the same.

“Ah, everyone, look at Izumi-chan’s summoned beast. It’s pretty. I want a bracelet too!”

Kokonoe, who was letting her summoned beast jump, squealed after seeing Amagasaki’s summoned beast. Amagasaki’s summoned beast was wearing a bracelet, and had small black wings on its back.

“If it’s wearing a bracelet, it means that it has high points. Amazing, Amagasaki-san.”

Himeji called out in amazement. Kariya and Saegusa whispered, “Oh.”

“I have one too.”

“Me too. Though I have less than 500 points.”

“…”

Yukihiro looked at his summoned beast unhappily. His summoned best did not have the bracelet like theirs. He thought that his scores would not be high, but still passable. Thus, he felt somewhat unhappy.

“Next, let’s fight using our summoned beast, everyone.”

Kokonoe’s summoned beast danced around like the owner, not showing any signs of authority.

“But how do we fight when our summoned beasts don’t have any weapons? Sumo?”


Akihisa explained that the summoned beasts would normally have weapons. But, after considering the safety issue for this arena, they redesigned the summoned beasts such that they would not have any weapons.

“Fufufu. Just what I want. I don’t need any weapons or sorts, because the upcoming battle is—”

Kokonoe showed a nonchalant smile.

“We’ll be running up the stairs using summoned beasts!”

Akihisa was so surprised that his eyes became dots.

A race up the stairs.

It was a match where the participants would have to run up the stairs in the school and cause havoc for others. Kokonoe’s proposal was to use the summoned beasts to run inside the plaza.

“…This is a little too…”

Sakamoto immediately shook his head after hearing Kokonoe’s words. He revealed a shocked expression.

“What’s bad about it? it’s very interesting.”

“Well, to us, that’s…”

Sakamoto opposed strongly. This was a normal reaction, and Yukihiro heaved a sigh of relief. It seemed that he was a reasonable person.

“Ah, how about this then?”

Kokonoe clapped and said,

“The first place can get a reward. Helping the first place get a wish is something we can definitely do with all we have.”

“I’ll take part then.”

Sakamoto immediately decided.[75]

“Huh!? Wasn’t your attitude just now so adamant?”

Yukihiro could not help but exclaim. Everyone’s reaction was the same as Sakamoto scratched his head and said.

“This is just taking a step back.”

“You have no intent on denying your filthy intent, do you?”

Akihisa muttered softly.

“In that case, you don’t intend to take part, do you?”

“Please let me take part, Sakamoto-kun! No, Sakamoto-sama!”

Akihisa immediately knelt down to beg without hesitation.

“…Akihisa, has your pride been eaten by a dog?”

Sakamoto’s stare showed a pitiful look.

“Alright then, let’s decide the course.”

Kokonoe looked around, finally pointed at a building, and said,

“Over there then. The flag on the roof. Whoever reaches there will be the winner.”

Yukihiro looked over at that building. The roof of the building had a pole with a raised flag.

“The one to reach the top will be the winner.”

“Alright, it’s decided. But what about the rest?”

Sakamoto looked around at the other Fumitzuki students.

“I’m in.”

“…(nods)”

Kinoshita and Tsuchiya decided to take part too.

“Ye, yeah…”

“Well…”

Shimada and Himeji looked at Akihisa, who noticed Shimada’s stare as he asked.

“Is there anything, Minami?”

“It, it’s nothing! I’m just thinking that I can beat you up if I win.”

“Wait a moment. I think it’ll be a problem if you take part, Minami.”

“We all have different wishes.”

“Everyone’s different anyway.”

Sakamoto and Kokonoe immediately denied Akihisa’s proposition.

“I’ll take part too.”

At this moment, Himeji said with a firm tone.

“I won’t let Minami-chan beat Akihisa-kun, so I…”

Himeji realized that she spoke too much at one go, and blushed as she lowered her head.

“…Ah? So…? So what about me? Do you want to beat me up, Himeji-san?”

Himeji did not answer, and Akihisa was very shocked.

“It’s decided then, Mizuki.”

“You’re in trouble, Akihisa.”

“Huh? No, I don’t mean this.”

“…But it might be good if Himeji-san herself did it.”

“Idiot.”

Amidst the chaos, Akihisa’s face took a direct punch from Shimada.

Either way, the preparations were complete.

Normally, the summoned beasts could only be with them. However, the entire venue was set up with the boundary, so the summoned beast could move on their own at any place they wanted. Also, as this activity involved a summoned beast race, there was a monitor set up in the plaza, and the participants could see where their summoned beasts were. They could see where all their summoned beasts were on the largest screen, and there were multi-direction helmets[76] placed in the terminals that were placed some distance away. Saegusa took one of them up and started explaining.

“What’s the name of this kind of helmet? Well, nevermind. Anyway, it’s developed to send the signals throughout the entire venue. By putting it on, you can see things from the summoned beast’s perspective. There’s a mic in it, so it’s possible to hear the summoned beasts’ conversations.”

“You sure do understand this. We’re seeing this for the first time ourselves.”

On hearing Sakamoto say this, Saegusa merely answered softly, “I did some investigations.”

“The route is completely freestyle, but as the summoned beasts can’t grab things or pass through walls and floors, they can’t enter the building without an open door. If you want to get to the roof, you can only by the outer wall.”

Saegusa explained calmly. The target building in question was a 20 storey building. As of this point, there was no one around, so it was fine to have this tournament. However, even if the summoned beasts were the ones running, it was scary to climb up a 20 storey build.

“Then…everyone, on your marks…”

Saegusa gave the signal, and all the participants scattered. The terminals were set up set that 4 people could use one. Yukihiro walked towards one before someone grabbed him by the shoulder.

“You’re Kanba, right? Can I have some time from you?”

It was Sakamoto. He had Akihisa and Kinoshita beside him. Yukihiro felt nervous as he was surrounded by the trio.

“Is, is there anything? Why call me out of a sudden?”

“Don’t be scared. We have something to discuss with you.”

Sakamoto put his hand on Yukihiro’s back and whispered.

“Let’s work together.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s work to win this, I, Akihisa, Hideyoshi, and you Kanba.”

“…This is a personal race, you know.”

Yukihiro frowned. Sakamoto nodded and said,

“Of course, this is a personal race no one will have any grumbles about no matter who wins. But if this keeps up, those with the bracelets will end up leading the pack.”

“The ones with the bracelets?”

“The guys with the summoned beasts equipped with bracelets. You have Kariya, Saegusa, and Amagasaki, right? Our school has Himeji and Muttsurini. Their summoned beasts’ base stats are very high, so it’s impossible to beat them one on one.”

Kinoshita finished. Sakamoto said with a stern expression.

“…We have to unite in order to beat them, understand?”

“…Yeah, but why me? Izutsu and Kokonoe-sempai don’t have bracelets either.”

“That’s because I feel that it’s easiest to bri…no, pull you in.”

Sakamoto patted Yukihiro on the shoulder had. Yukihiro felt that they were suspicious, but he agreed as it seemed to be interesting if they did so.

“Alright, let’s win, the 4 of us.”

Sakamoto raised his fist, and Yukihiro followed him.


The match finally began as everyone put on their helmets and wait for Kokonoe’s command.

“Everyone ready!”

Kokonoe called out with a loud voice.

“Get ready, start!”

On the mark, the 12 summoned beasts rushed out and pulled some distance away from each other. Running first was Himeji, Kariya, Saegusa, Amagasaki, and Tsuchiya. Kokonoe, Izutsu, and Shimada followed behind, and the last ones where Yukihiro and the rest.

“…Well, is it really alright to have such a large gap?”

Yukihiro asked Akihisa, who snorted back as he chuckled.

“Of course. We got a plan for it.”

He answered confidently. Then, he looked at Yuuji and said.

“Yuuji thought of it.”

“WHY DID YOU FORCE SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THE PLANNING ENTIRELY!?”

Yukihiro could not help but shout out. Sakamoto looked behind and gave a definite answer.

“I already thought of more than 300 ways to mess with Akihisa.”

“Wait, Yuuji! What are you thinking?”

“Well, obviously, to make you suffer.”

“You didn’t say that just now!”

Infighting began as Yukihiro looked over worriedly at each other. Kinoshita said to him.

“Relax, they’re always like this as they’re in love anyway.”[77]

“DON’T SPOUT NONSENSE THERE, HIDEYOSHI!!”

Akihisa shouted at Kinoshita, who reluctantly shrugged with his arms wide. His summoned beast itself gave a ‘pretty expression’, and Yukihiro seemed to look at little lost there.

“Let’s stop arguing and put our plan into action.”

Sakamoto suddenly looked serious. Yukihiro lifted his head to look at the main screen, and saw that the other summoned beasts had already pulled quite some distance away from them.

“Just as planned.”

Sakamoto too looked at the main screen and smirked ominously. The largest screen showed the locations of all the summoned beasts. From the summoned beasts’ viewpoints, the image on the screen looked like they were floating in the air. The front-most group were moving down their own roads, Himeji, Kariya, Saegusa and Amagasaki. Running down the shortest path, away from them was Tsuchiya’s summoned beast.

“Everyone sure is fast. We won’t be able to catch up if this keeps up.”

Yukihiro whispered. Akihisa nodded and prompted Yuuji.

“Wait, let’s set the traps.”

Sakamoto stopped once he said that. Yukihiro and the rest stopped running too.

“What are we going to do?”

“We’ll leave this to Akihisa. Where’s that thing?”

“No problems. I have it here.”

Akihisa answered Sakamoto as he showed something on his hand. It was hard to tell, but it seemed like this was a photo.

“But will that Muttsurini really bite on it? We bought this from him, you know?”

“No problems! I have confidence.”

“Yeah, that guy’s a guy too, so he’ll definitely be baited”

Sakamoto said definitely. Suddenly, he stopped. Kinoshita stood around too. Yukihiro took off his helmet as he heard some soft whispers, and looked over at Sakamoto.

“Hideyoshi, before everything’s ready, change into this.”


“Why? What does changing costumes have to do with this contest?”

“You probably don’t know, but there’s a huge factor. Hurry up and change!”

With Sakamoto’s prompting, Kinoshita went to a shaded area to change and let out some thoughts,

“In that case—”

As Yukihiro pricked his eyes to hear the content of the plan.

Swoosh.

Something rushed over with a gust of wind. It was so fast that Yukihiro’s eyes could not catch up. As he looked around, he heard Kinoshita’s voice.

“What are you doing, Muttsurini? This…this is embarrassing?”

The sounds of the shutter being pressed and the flashes came from the shade of the trees. Yukihiro stared at Sakamoto speechlessly.

“Now we got ourselves some time. You ready, Akihisa?”

“Yeah. This is my perfect trap. It’s definitely foolproof.”

Yukihiro heard Akihisa’s unreliable words as he put on the helmet. He saw what was obviously a trap.

“…I say. Don’t you often see this in mangas or something?”

There were many twigs and grass laid on the ground, basically declaring that there was a hole there. It looked unnatural even for a dirt path.

Also, there were several photos amongst the twigs in the middle of the trap. That would most likely be the ‘trap’. Anyone who rush forward to get the photos would definitely fall into the traps.

“It’s about 5m deep. I really find myself amazing for being able to do this in such a short time.”

“Yeah.”

Sakamoto answered Akihisa, who was gleefully indulging in self-praise, coldly, and continued—

“Ah, oi. What shots are you taking…no, no. There’s nothing much to see.”

“…”

The weird lewd laughter and ridiculously fast shutter pressing could be heard from the shadows.

…Is it really alright to work with these guys?

At this moment, Yukihiro had a bigger doubt.

The direct distance would be around 200m if they move forward, but moving down the path to the destination would take at least 3 times the distance. As they were not used to controlling the summoned beasts, Kariya and the rest could not move down the path. Himeji herself though kept moving through, perhaps because she was serious.

Kokonoe was unexpectedly adept at controlling her summoned beast, but she did not take the shortest path, but just went around running curiously. Izutsu was trying to follow her from behind. Shimada was close to them, but she was running an independent route.

Yukihiro was not used to controlling them, but managed to move down the shortest path with Sakamoto and Akihisa’s lead. Akihisa’s summoned beast carried Kinoshita’s summoned beast as it continued to run, and he was able to do this because the summoned beast could touch physical objects. Not too far away from where Yukihiro and the rest progressed, there was a tall wall that appeared in front of them. Everyone felt that they had to move around, but Sakamoto told them,

“It’s fine. Let’s keep moving.”

“Yuuji, I’ve changed.”

As Yukihiro kept running, Kinoshita had finished changing. The sounds of the shutter arrived at the same time. Yukihiro took off his helmet and looked back, flabbergasted.

“I’d say, why am I dressed like this?”

Kinoshita was dressed in a cheongsam.

“Ah, it’s actually nothing. Just everyone’s request.”

“What do you mean?”

On hearing Sakamoto’s answer, Kinoshita asked. Tsuchiya’s fingers continued to press the shutter, and it was so fast that there were afterimages. Also, the photos were taken from all directions.

“…(Oh)”

Tsuchiya did not say anything as he merely gave a thumbs up. It was unknown what that was about.

“I say, what are you doing…”

On hearing Yukihiro’s words, Tsuchiya quickly fished out 5 photos. Yukihiro saw the photos, and immediately blushed.

“Huh? These? What for?”

“…300 yen for a set.”

“…No, that’s not it. I’m just saying that it, it feels a little wrong, in many aspects.”

“What are you saying? There’s nothing wrong about this as a man!”

Akihisa stood beside the flustered Yukihiro, rummaging through his wallet. He then lowered his dejected shoulders and said.

“…I can only drink white sugar water for this month.”

“Drink? White sugar water?”

To Yukihiro, these words were a vague combination to him.

“Muttsurini, you should be heading back to the match.”

Sakamoto said to Tsuchiya, who was still lying prone the fall, taking photos. He heard Sakamoto’s words, and—

“…It’ll be fine.”

He answered.

“…If anything happens, I’ll accelerate immediately.”

“Really? But what about these?”

Sakamoto handed his helmet over to Tsuchiya. The helmet showed that trap.

“!?”

Tsuchiya’s eyes dazzled as he went back to his terminal with the roar of the wind. It was really an astonishing speed. As Yukihiro again put on the helmet, Tsuchiya’s summoned beast had already returned to the course. They did not see it a moment ago, and that was really speedy as Tsuchiya’s summoned beast quickly got to the place the photos were laid.

“Ah.”

Yukihiro could not help but exclaim. Tsuchiya’s defenceless summoned beast fell into that simple trap.

…Huh? Wait, I remember that besides Yoshii-kun’s summoned beast—

The other summoned beasts could not touch physical objects. Yukihiro took off his helmet and went towards Tsuchiya’s terminal. As expected, Tsuchiya himself was not there. He must have ran to the scene himself.

“He got away.”

“Now Muttsurini’s out. One opponent down.”

Sakamoto smirked ominously like a yakuza boss, causing Yukihiro to feel a chill down his spine.

“Let’s hurry too, Kanba. How’s the rest doing?”

“The forward group including Kariya-sempai has finished half the course. We’re definitely closer in terms of distance, but the wall in front of us…”

Yukihiro, who was overwhelmed by Sakamoto’s presence, answered honestly. Sakamoto and Akihisa gave smirks of ill intent.

“It’s perfect, Yuuji.”

“That’s right. We got the win.”

“…May I ask, what are we going to do next?”

Yukihiro put on the helmet again as he asked. Akihisa stared at the wall in front of him and answered.

“We’ll do this.”

Akihisa said. His summoned beast threw Kinoshita’s summoned beast off its back, towards the wall. Kinoshita’s summoned beast passed through the wall and landed on the other side.

“How rough of you.”

Kinoshita exclaimed.

“It won’t hurt, Kanba. You can pass through too.”

Akihisa’s summoned beast threw Yukihiro’s summoned beast before he could even respond. Yukihiro’s summoned beast passed through the wall in the same way and landed. Sakamoto’s summoned beast then flew over.

“Didn’t expect that from you, Yoshii-kun.”

Yukihiro praised Akihisa, who, after he heard that—

“Are you praising me?’

Akihisa exclaimed in shock. Yukihiro nodded.

“…Kanba-kun, you’re really a good guy.”

A touched voice could be heard from the other side of the wall.

It’s just a little praising. Is there a need to be so ridiculous?

“Akihisa actually got praised by someone. There should be blood raining tomorrow.”[78]

“The end of the world may be here.”[79]

Sakamoto and Kinoshita showed shocked expressions too, and Yukihiro himself did not know how to respond.

“My turn next! How do I get over, Yuuji?”

Akihisa asked Sakamoto happily, but—

“Through will.”

Sakamoto merely made up a ridiculous answer as he suggested back.

“Huh? Haven’t you thought of anything!?”

“Then, we’ll be on our way.”

“Wait, don’t leave me!”

“Take care of yourself, Akihisa. I’ll have your share of happiness as well.”[80]

“DAMN YOU, YUUJI. DOUBLE-CROSSING ME LIKE THAT!”

Akihisa roared angrily. Sakamoto and Kinoshita’s summoned beasts continued on. The end point was right in front of them.

“Damn it. Just wait and see how I break this mere wall—”[81]

“Well, Yoshii-kun—”

Yukihiro said to Akihisa who said these vicious words.

“Can’t you just something at the side to support? Your summoned beasts can move things anyway.”

“…”

Akihisa, who was preparing to destroy the wall, finally calmed down. After a while,

“…I had this intention in the first place.”[82]

He grinned as he said this. Akihisa moved something over, and quickly got over the wall.

“Alright, let’s go, Kanba-kun. Let’s send that bastard Yuuji into his grave.”

“…Why are you saying such things? Aren’t you friends?’

“Who do you say are friends here?”

“…Just pretend I never said anything.”

Yukihiro saw Akihisa’s ferocious attitude and swallowed back his words.

Thud…

Everyone looked up after hearing the sound of something landing. Tsuchiya himself fell into the hole.[83]

…Someone actually fell into such a trap.

Yukihiro saw Tsuchiya at the bottom of the hole, clutching his precious photos and looking really gracious.

In some aspects, that guy was rather amazing.

“Oi, Yuuji, we’ll have to settle this.”

“What? How did you get over, Akihisa!?”

“Humph, I used the car nearby as a stepping stone to climb over.”

“Impossible! How is your stupid brain able to think of such a method, Akihisa! You don’t even know how to take down a banana dangling from the ceiling.”

“It’d seemed like it’s Kanba’s suggestion. That Akihisa can’t even think of using a stepping stone to take down a banana.”

“Do we have to even ask? We’re right, aren’t we? Shouldn’t we be sad for ourselves?”

“You’re right, but I’d say, wouldn’t be it better to omit the part about the banana?”

Yukihiro and Akihisa caught up to Sakamoto and Kinoshita who ran off first. Both of them were at the wall of the building. Their summoned beasts could not open the door with their hands, so they could only climb by the outer wall and to the roof. Akihisa looked at both of them, that were about to reach the 3rd level, and said.

“…I think that’s it.”

“Still too early to give up. Let’s climb.”

“But if we fall, the damage will hit my body. I don’t know how painful it’ll be if I fall down from such a high place…”

“Then…”

Yukihiro looked at the side door in front of him, and said to the pale looking Akihisa.

“We’ll go in by there.”

“How?”

“…Your summoned beast can open the door, Yoshii-kun.”

“…Of, of course. I intended to do so anyway.”[84]

Akihisa was sweating in beads on his forehead as he smiled and said this. He then opened the door and entered. Yukihiro then followed in.

“Alright, we’ve reversed the situation now. Let’s get rid of Yuuji.”

Akihisa climbed the stairs as he yelled. Yukihiro himself did not know what he wanted to do. Akihisa got to the corridor of the 4th level and stood near the window. The window was a little open, but such an opening was enough for the small summoned beast.

“Yuuji! I’ll send you to your grave today!”

Akihisa said this as his summoned beast raised its fist at Sakamoto’s summoned beast that was climbing up the wall. Then—

“Shut up.”

Sakamoto launched a beautiful counter first.

“Oh yeah, Akihisa’s summoned beast can open doors. Tch, this guy still has some use.”

Akihisa fell back. Sakamoto and Kinoshita climbed into the building too.”

“Oh yeah, did you close the door on the 1st level?”

“…Huh? Isn’t that an automatic door?”

Yukihiro recalled that he did not close the door when he entered.

“This is bad. Himeji and the rest can enter.”

Kinoshita looked at the main screen as he said this. Yukihiro and the rest looked over, and saw Kariya and the other 3 enter the building through the open door.

“Akihisa, we’ll have a ceasefire here. Let’s build a blockade.”

“Go, got it! But why do I feel that I’m the one being hurt?”

“Let me say this. You’re the one in charge of building it.”

“WHAT!?”

“Shut up.”

Sakamoto again sent Akihisa sprawling on the floor.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YUUJI!”

“Alright, hurry up and drag those chairs over or anything to create a blockade. I have to win here.”

“You’re rather motivated.”

Kinoshita looked at Sakamoto, who had bloodshot eyes, and said this. Sakamoto let out what sounded like a scream.

“OF COURSE! I MUST GET BACK MY WEDDING CERTIFICATE FROM SHOUKO WITHIN A YEAR! YOU GUYS HAVE TO HELP ME. NO, I DEFINITELY NEED YOUR HELP HERE!”

“Forget about it and get married with Kirishima. Won’t that be fine? I’m really envious here.”[85]

Akihisa mocked the enraged Sakamoto as if it did not concern him. Sakamoto grabbed him on the collar and shock him.

“You bastard.”

“Well, sorry to interrupt…”

Yukihiro said to them.

“They’re here.”

With Kariya leading, the pack of 4 reached the corner to the 3rd lever. Sakamoto and Akihisa immediately got on their guard.

“A truce for the time being, Yuuji.”

“Didn’t I just say this?”

““Alright, it’s all yours here.””

Both of them said in unison.

““YOU’RE AT THIS AGAIN!!?””

Both of them shouted out in unison, such that even their breathing was in unison.

“You two look rather happy, but I’ll be off first, sorry.”

Kariya ran up the stairs. However, he was not running forward as he was not used to the controls. Yukihiro and the rest hurried up the stairs too.

“The stats of those with the bracelets are higher. We’ll get caught up if we run like this. Got to find a way first.”

“But we don’t have enough time to seal up the place.”

Sakamoto and Akihisa exchanged words while Yukihiro kept running. In terms of summoned beast’s speed, Yukihiro was faster, but there was some distance in summoned beast control. Kariya and the rest had this issue, and the one right behind Yukihiro was Himeji. However, from the looks of her summoned beast panting, it seemed that it was not good at sports like its owner.

“Can’t be helped, Akihisa. We’ll use this sure-kill move then.”

“Yeah, looks like we can only use that.”

Both of them were about to reach the 6th level when they suddenly turn around. As Yukihiro got by them, Akihisa asked,

“But what’s that?”

“THIS!”

Sakamoto grabbed Akihisa on the collar and forcefully threw him out.

“AKIHISA ATTACK!”

“DAMN IT, THIS MOVE!”

“KYAHH!!”

Himeji instinctively ducked, and Akihisa’s summoned beast landed right on Kariya behind her. Saegusa and Amagasaki were at the back as they were implicated as well. The 4 of them landed at the corner.

“Akihisa, your sacrifice won’t be in vain.”

After saying that, Sakamoto rushed up the stairs.”

“Damn Yuuji…no wonder there’s a bad feeling about it…”

“Are you alright, Akihisa-kun?”

Himeji frantically ran towards Akihisa, hugging him as he was dizzily trying to get up.

“Hang in there.”

“…Ah, how soft.”

“What?”

“WAH! IT, IT’S NOTHING, HIMEJI-SAN.”

Akihisa hurriedly got up and left Himeji. Himeji showed a look of some regret.

“Ack, those guys can really pull such things.”

Saegusa got up and nudged his glasses.

“That scared me.”

“Didn’t expect him to throw the summoned beast over.”

Amagasaki and Kariya got up to. Yukihiro saw that everyone was alright and left. He felt sorry for Akihisa, but he decided at this point not to let Sakamoto lead on his own.

Ah, speaking of which, where did Kinoshita go?

Yukihiro suddenly thought about this as he ran up the stairs. Kinoshita suddenly vanished. Maybe he too ran off to the end secretly.

“WHERE ARE YOU? COME ON OUT, SHOUKO!!”

For some reason, Sakamoto was shouting at some random direction. Yukihiro pricked his ears and vaguely heard another voice.

“…Welcome back, Yuuji. Do you want dinner? A shower? Or—”

“WAHHHHH!! NONONONONONO!! NOTHING!!! DON’T DO THIS LIKE WE’RE MARRIED…”

“…My dear, your face has a grain of rice on it…”

“OIOIOIOI!! THIS OLD-FASHIONED SCENE DOESN’T HAPPEN IN REALITY! I DENY IT! ABSOLUTELY DENY IT!!”

“…I bought a baby pram too.”

“WAIT! THIS ISN’T THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT HAVING KIDS, RIGHT!?”

“…I want 3.”

“3 WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!? I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL!”

“…There must be a ‘Yu’ from Yuuji.”

“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, SHOUKO!? YOU HAD ENOUGH! YOU’RE HAPPY, RIGHT!? I’LL PRETEND THAT I NEVER HEARD IT!!”

“…You’re really a tsundere, Yuuji.”[86]

“TO HECK WITH THAT!!”

Sakamoto screamed as he ran away. Then, Yukihiro heard a heavy impact sound from around the corner. Sakamoto collapsed on the floor weakly.

“Such a pitiful guy, Yuuji.”

“!?”

Kinoshita poked his head out from the corner, should a smile.

“You don’t have to suffer so much if you were a little more honest.”

“…Was that your doing, Kinoshita?”

Yukihiro widened his eyes in shock. As a guy, Kinoshita had a ‘moving’ face that was bewitching charming.

“I’m from the drama club. Voice mimicry is just something trivial. That mimicry just now was the voice of Yuuji’s childhood friend Kirishima Shouko.”

After saying that, he chuckled happily.

Is Kirishima Shouko so scary that she can cause Sakamoto to panic like this? …No, what I should be thinking about is this person in front of me.

Yukihiro felt a huge chill strike his back, and could not help but hold his breath.

“Are you the real secret boss?”

I thought that Sakamoto had accounted for everyone. Perhaps I am wrong here.

Yukihiro sized up this boy who looked as sexy as a girl.

“Huh?”

He actually answered.

“…I’d see. Now that you mention, this seemed to be the case.”

Kinoshita immediately nodded and did a cape flipping move.

“Ahahaha! You’re right, warrior! But do you think that you can beat me?”[87]

“…Ah, no. if I’m wrong, just tell me—”

“Relax, I, Kinoshita Hideyoshi will bet on the pride of the drama club. I’ll definitely perform the ‘secret boss’ role with exquisite acting.”

“Huh? This is too messed up…”

“What’s going on, Kanba-kun?”

At this moment, Akihisa caught up. He stared at Kinoshita who gave an evil look, and frowned.

“What’s with…Hideyoshi?”

“Don’t be shocked after hearing this Akihisa, for I, I am the real final boss.”

“WHA, WHAT DID YOU SAY!?”

Akihisa’s knees weakened with shock. Kinoshita laughed as he stood on the corridor.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YUUJI’S REALLY TRAGIC HERE! HOW WOULD I NOT HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OF REVENGE AFTER PUTTING ON THE CHEONGSAM OBEDIENTLY!?”

“AHHHH! YUUJI, YUUJI!!”

Akihisa cried out in anguish as he saw his collapsed friend on the corridor.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“YUUUUJJJJJIIIIIII!!”

“…”

Idiots. These guys are all idiots.[88]

At this moment, the lingering thought within awoke.

“Come! This is the final battle!”

Kinoshita said as he climbed up the stairs and rushed up the stairs with unprecedented speed. He looked just like a secret boss in a video game, showing off his real ability at this moment.

“WAIT FOR IT, HIDEYOSHI! I’LL TAKE REVENGE FOR YUUJI!!”

Akihisa shed tears as he chased after. Yukihiro felt that his head hurt somewhat, but still followed after him.

“Speaking of which, where are the rest?”

Yukihiro asked as he ran up the stairs.

Akihisa turned around and answered.

“Are you asking about Kokonoe-sempai’s summoned beast? It rushed through and is fighting with the guys downstairs. I’m not boasting here, but I managed to get away first because I’m very skilled in controlling my summoned beast.”

“…Wow, I can imagine how it looks downstairs.”

Yukihiro shook his head reluctantly.

“Move aside move aside move aside!”

The person they mentioned was catching up from the back, ignoring the stairs and wall as it continued to dash up.

“Wow, how did you do that!?”

Yukihiro exclaimed. Kokonoe answered in a satisfied manner.

“Through guts, guts. Guts’ the most important thing at this moment.”

“You’re definitely lying.”

“I’m going to overtake you.”

“Damn it! In that case, we can only use that sure-kill technique, Kanba-kun!”

Akihisa stared at Yukihiro and said.

“I’m not doing that.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Since it’s an Akihisa attack, please fly off yourself.”

“Yeah, I see…wait, why am I the one being punished?”

“Why not? Who else is going to do that?”

As both of them were arguing, Kokonoe—

Did not catch up.

That’s weird?

Both of them turned back to look, and saw that Kokonoe’s summoned beast was far behind them.

“Wait, you two! Slow down!”

So that’s how it is.

Yukihiro understood. In this summoned beast match, the exams scores determine the strengths of the summoned beasts.

In other words, the points determine the speed of the summoned beast. As much as Kokonoe was good at controlling her summoned beast, she was just climbing up the stairs, and it was obvious to see which one was faster.

“…Looks like Kokonoe-sempai’s scores aren’t too high.”

“I got quite a decent score this time, and I’m used to controlling it. So I believe I can win this direct battle.”

Akihisa said confidently. Yukihiro really wanted to ask why he was like this, but he held back and said.

“I got 214 points for maths. How about you, Yoshii?”

“…I feel that in this world, points can’t determine everything.”

“…Can you please not stray from the topic? How many points do you have—”

Their distance increased as Yukihiro said. Akihisa, who was at the back, answered sadly.

“It’s 3 digits, okay?”

“Yoshii-kun!? Yoshii-kun!?”

Oh, looks like he definitely got a double digit score…

Yukihiro thought as he looked back at Akihisa.

“Oh? That’s unexpectedly fast.”

After climbing till the 15th level, Yukihiro saw Kinoshita, who had obviously slowed down, almost at the speed right at the beginning.”

“Kinoshita-kun, it’s now a showdown.”

“Interesting. Bring it.”

“…You really can say such things, huh?”

Yukihiro chased after the laughing Kinoshita through the 16th, 17th, and 18th levels. The distance was closing, but Yukihiro could not overtake. I really can’t underestimate Kinoshita here. Both of them rushed through the 19th and 20th levels.

“Now, I’ll just need to reach the roof. I’ll win, warrior!”

“Don’t call me a warrior here!”

Both of them climbed the stairs and dashed to the door. At this moment, Kinoshita was still leading by two steps.

“Ugh…is this going to end like this?”

Yukihiro muttered, but Kinoshita did not mind as he charged right at the door.

“I won.”

Thud—

The blunt impact sound could be heard.

“…As expected, our summoned beasts can’t touch physical objects if we think about it. The only one that can open the door is Yoshii’s summoned beast.”

“…My, my bad.”

Kinoshita collapsed onto the floor, and Yukihiro gave an awkward expression as he looked around.[89]

“Got to find a way to get in…”

As Yukihiro was thinking about this, some footsteps could be heard.

“Yuuji, I’m going to use the Yuuji attack.”

“Shut up! Use Japanese to talk here!”

“Ah? Did I just use a foreign language?”

“Don’t worry, I can understand Akihisa-kun’s Japanese.”

“You’re nice to me as ever, Himeji-san.”

“Danke sch? Ön, danke sch?”[90]

“Yuuko, don’t mess up on the German.”

The revived Sakamoto, Akihisa, Kariya, Himeji, Kokonoe, Saegusa, and Amagasaki all caught up. Yukihiro blocked the door, getting ready to stop everyone.

“Please wait! None of us can open this door—”

“Of course.”

Sakamoto let out a flying kick before he finished. Akihisa and Kokonoe leapt up.

“WAHHH!”

Yukihiro hurriedly dodged. Akihisa got to the door handle, while Sakamoto and Kokonoe kicked the door down. Kariya and the rest got to the roof.

“How rough of you guys…”

Yukihiro stepped through the door. Everyone was gathered around it.

“I win—”

Akihisa stepped forward to reach for the flag pole. Suddenly—

“YOU!”

Shimada climbed over the fencing of the roof and suddenly attacked Akihisa. The powerful hit sent Akihisa flying out of the roof.

“AHHH!? WHY!!???”

Yukihiro’s mouth widened with shock. Shimada, who landed on the roof, said.

“Oh my, this is bad. I accidentally took action.”

She then playfully stuck her tongue out to give a cute look.

“Alright!”

With Shimada’s appearance, Sakamoto and the rest stopped. At this moment—

Izutsu climbed over the fence too. He too seemed to have climbed from the outer wall. Izutsu was the first to run to the flag pole, while Sakamoto recovered to charge immediately.

“I MUST RELEASE MYSELF FROM SHOUKO’S BIND!”

“I WON’T LOSE!”

Kokonoe ran forward, and the rest followed suit.

“ME TOO. NO WAY WILL THINGS END LIKE THIS!”

At this moment, the revived Kinoshita ran over, leapt and used Sakamoto, who was grabbing onto the flag pole, as a stepping stone to leap up high.

“What!? Using me as a stepping stone?”

Sakamoto was so shocked that his eyes were nearly popping out. Kinoshita leapt onto a position higher than Izutsu.

“I WON’T LET YOU!”

Izutsu did not back down as he climbed frantically. Sakamoto and Kokonoe were behind, while Kariya, Amagasaki, Saegusa, and Shimada were trying their best to climb up.

“…Acceleration complete.”

At this moment, Tsuchiya suddenly appeared on the roof. Yukihiro wondered if he was hallucinating, as just a second ago, there was no sight of this guy.

“Damn it. So you revived too, Muttsurini! It’s because you have the acceleration ability that I decided to get rid of you first. You actually appeared.”

Sakamoto gritted his teeth as he said. Tsuchiya looked at the flag pole and said softly.

“…Accelerate.”

The winner was decided.

Everyone thought that Tsuchiya had the victory.

However, he was nowhere to be seen near the top of the flag pole.

But at the bottom.

“…”

And it was lying down, looking up.

“…”

“…”

“Tsuchiya, what are you doing?”

Shimada asked. Tsuchiya answered seriously.

“…Looking up at the sky.”

“YOU LIAR!”

Shimada leapt off the flag pole and mercilessly stepped on Tsuchiya’s face.

“…Don’t tell me you accelerated because of that?”

Yukihiro felt the terror of this person in more ways than one.[91]

“Where did Akihisa-kun go to?”

Right beside Yukihiro was Himeji, who was the only one worried about Akihisa. She continued to look below the fence for Akihisa, but did not see him.

“He should be beside the building if we look at the main screen, but I can’t see him on the ground.”

Himeji’s lips shuddered slightly.

“The person himself is beside me, so it’s fine.”

Yukihiro took off his helmet and saw Akihisa with his helmet on. Since he was not knocked out by the fall, it should be alright.

“Oi oi oi, move aside.”

“Admit defeat, Yuuji!”

“I must get first, and then, with prez…”

On the pole, Sakamoto, Kinoshita, and Izutsu formed a standoff. The trio were desperately reaching their arms out to see who could reach the top first.

“I’m not done yet! My summoned beast is still alive!”

Akihisa leapt over the fence and got on the roof.

“Akihisa-kun!”

“Aki!”

Himeji and Shimada cried out in shock and relief. Akihisa, with his back against the sun, looked as dazzling as ever.

“Looks like it’s time to show what I’m made of.”

Sakamoto and the rest looked behind, and saw Akihisa raise his left hand.

“Take this! Golden left!”[92]

After saying this, Akihisa charged forward and used the left hand to push the pole. The summoned beast’s force caused the pole to shake hard.

“WAH!”

“ARGH!”

“HOW CAN THIS BE!”

“Heh!”

Izutsu and the rest who took the impact fell off. Sakamoto was the only one clinging onto the flag pole.

“AKIHISA!!!”

Sakamoto roared. Akihisa grabbed onto the pole and yelled.

“YUUJI! GO REST AT THE ENDS OF THE WORLD!!”

Then, the sound of metal breaking could be heard. Akihisa actually broke the pole from the base as he dragged Sakamoto,

“OWWAAAHHH!!!”

And sent him flying like a baseball. “YOU BETTER REMEMBER THIS!!” Sakamoto yelled as he vanished on the other end of the sky.

“…This Yuuji got a payback as to be expected of an antagonistic. I hope my ending is the same as well.”

For some reason, Kinoshita looked to be somewhat sad.

“…Yuuji, rest in place.”

Akihisa carried the flag pole and closed his eyes slightly as tears of conscience flowed down his cheeks.

“…”

Yukihiro could not say anything as he could only stare at Akihisa’s back.

“…So I win, right?”

Akihisa said to everyone.

“So that’s how it is. You’re the one doing this, right?”

The one who spoke was Ironman Nishimura.

“I thought you ran off somewhere and went around searching for you. What did you call out our summoned beast for? And you actually broke the flag pole. You sure have guts there.”

Nishimura’s temples were popping out veins.

“…Ni, Nishimura-sensei, I have a gift for you. Pl, please take this.”

Akihisa broke out cold sweat as he stammered.

“Oh? What?”

“This. Please accept this.”

Akihisa put the flag pole in Nishimura’s hands.

“Hm? YOU BRAT! YOSHII!”

“I’ll be going first then.”

Akihisa’s summoned beast quickly escaped the roof.

“DAMN IT! RUN!”

Sakamoto tossed the helmet aside and yelled. Yukihiro and the rest started running towards the exit too.

“EVERYONE, WAIT FOR ME! WHERE’S MY PRIZE!?”

Sakamoto answered coldly,

“I don’t care.”

“WHY!? I EVEN BROKE THE FLAG POLE!”

“Honestly, that’s overboard! You’re really an idiot, Akihisa.”

“Akihisa-kun, I’ll go apologize with you.”

“Mizuki, it’ll be bad if he gets used to bad behavior if you’re too kind on him.”

Everyone chatted as they ran towards the exit. Nishimura’s roar could be heard from afar.

“STOP RIGHT THERE, YOSHII. YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO’LL DEFINITELY NOT RUN AWAY!”

“WHY ALWAYS ME!?”[93]

Akihisa screamed.

“Then, bye.”

Kokonoe waved her hand happily as she stepped outside.

“Sorry for intruding.”

Kariya lowered his head, while Yukihiro apologized with him.

“Bye.”

The Fumitzuki Academy people waved their hands as they ran off in a different direction from Yukihiro’s group. The last one was Akihisa, who was tripped by something as he fell onto the floor.

“Yoshii, you bastard. No matter where you run to—”

“NOO, PERVERT-SENSEI’S GOING TO ATTACK ME!!”

“You’re itching for some punishment, don’t you? To think you dare say such things.”

Yukihiro and the rest heard the scream behind and escaped from the scene.


“Ahh, that was interesting.”

On the way back, Kokonoe beamed as she said. Kariya looked really unhappy.

“But it’s a pity that we can’t give Yoshii-kun a prize. We even saw quite a scene from him. I really want to help him fulfill a wish…”

“Ah, I know what he wants.”

Amagasaki clasped her hand and said to Kokonoe. Yukihiro too looked over.

“Himeji-san and I discussed about this during the race. It seems that Yoshii-kun has some difficulty with meals, so he probably wants to eat something if he wins.”

“Now that you mention it, I think I heard him say this before about how he can only have sugar water for the month…”

Yukihiro reported what he heard exactly, and Izutsu beside him felt really suspicious.

“Then, let’s send something edible to Yoshii-kun. Let’s do this!”

Kokonoe grinned as she made this decision.


Off-topic.

The flag pole that was broken by Akihisa was said to be repaired through the Amagasaki family’s finances.

Yukihiro’s group and Akihisa’s group were told off by their respective schools.

Also, Akihisa’s house got some barbecued meat[94] sent through the mail.

—END—


Author’s Notes[edit]

To the readers reading my work for the first time, nice to meet you, and please take care of me. To the readers familiar with me, hello. I am Kaima Takaaki. This time, I am the one in charge of writing this collaborative work with «Baka to Tesuto to Shoukanjuu».

It is really great! What? You are asking what is great? Of course, it is the feeling of being involved in «Baka to Tesuto to Shoukanjuu». I was really happy when writing this story, and this collaboration really feels meaningful to me, someone I can say to be ‘completely stress-free’. However, my sense of humor is not as great as Inoue-san, so I often worried about whether I could properly bring out the characters of Akihisa and the rest Inoue-san lent me. The original work is one of the most well-known comedy light novel, so if there are any readers who have not read it, please run to the nearest bookstore and shout ‘GIVE ME A BOOK OF BAKA!’. If the shop attendants do not understand, add on with ‘INOUE-SAN’S WORK!’, and remember to shout it out loud. You must shout it such that the attendants and even the other customers can hear. If they still do not understand, please use the last resort. The attendants will definitely understand.

Inoue Kenji is an idiot.

…Alright, that will be enough for jokes. Inoue-san here is the special prize winner of the ‘Entame’, a junior who entered a year after me. He is younger than me, and his work sells rather well. Thus, there is no need to worry about making such jokes. Ahh, this is just the true thoughts of a burned out senior.

Then, let us talk about «Baka to Tesuto to Shoukanjuu». Everyone, do not underestimate this work. This work is a famed work made through deliberate calculations and skillful planning. Inoue-san vomited blood while framing the backbone of the story, groaning painfully as he tapped every word, went through countless struggles and edits to make sure the text is foolproof, and finally created this easy-to-read work that can be read like a manga.

I suppose so, but in fact, I do not know about the actual situation.

Then, let us meet next time if we have the chance.

Kaima Takaaki


Original Author’s Comments[edit]

‘12’.

Does everyone know the meaning behind this number?

In fact, this is the number of characters used by Takaaki-san when working on this collaborative work.

Leaving aside a long-runner, it is really impressive to have so many characters in such a short story and such a small stage. To be honest, I can only say ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t write this’ when I am asked to write using so many characters.

However, Takaaki-san’s skill is not ordinary as he managed to complete a story where everyone can appear. I can never compare to such skill. Takaaki-san managed to write a story, and also give me an exciting demonstration. Takaaki-san, and Amahuku-san, who designed such beautiful illustrations for this story, I earnestly thank you two.

Speaking of which, I really will not know how to begin writing if the honor to write the collaboration between Takaaki-san’s «Gakkou no Kaidan» and Baka Test is tasked to me. Takaaki-san gave me a demonstration, but I now still feel that I do not have the ability to bring the lie out of 12 characters in the story. I cannot even think of a clear thought in my mind, let alone write it out.

I will also like to introduce the important characters to everyone. However, I do not have the ability to use all the characters. I will not say anything and tie in the important characters then.

Saegusa Souji (Genius Line Maker) and Tsuchiya Kouta (Muttsurini) – Genius pervert Maker.

Ah, please wait. Do not close the book yet. I am simply not on form yet. I will definitely think of interesting characters when I show off my real ability.

Kariya Kengo (Sure-kill V-turn) and Shimada Minami (Airplane Runway)[95] –Sure-kill runaway.

Izutsu Ken (Moonlight Dancing Step) and Yoshii Akihisa (Idiot kid) — Moonlight Dancing Idiot.

Kokonoe Yuuko (Silent Bullet) and Yoshii Akihisa (Idiot kid) — Shizu-chan.

Now, you can close the book.

Inoue Kenji





Notes[edit]

  1. A reference to a series called GeGeGe no Kitaro, a series that was…run during the Sixties…
  2. Writer from France. Thing is, I researched up the collection of stuff the author wrote, and there are 99 from I can see. Either Touko wants to eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or I don’t know…
  3. A Japanese author
  4. To those wondering why Konoha was asking such a question…Mizuki’s wearing the uniform…and no, I don’t find any missing lines here.
  5. There's so many things I can talk about this incident, but I do pity Yuuji in this case, for starters.
  6. The Japanese equivalent of the River Styx
  7. An erotic novel written by Ogai Mori
  8. Mishima Yukio’s novel
  9. An Irish author
  10. Yaoi goggles ahoy...
  11. I think I’m missing a reference here or something. Too bad I don’t have the Japanese text to check the original meaning.
  12. Yaoi writer. Doing all these research is giving me mental trauma. Seriously, Touko?
  13. Pseudonym of the French author Anne Desclos
  14. Classic Japanese work. Baka Test in particular has quite a few questions pertaining to this story.
  15. Japanese collection of stories
  16. A collection of Arabian stories
  17. Renowned Japanese S&M writer
  18. Why Touko, of all people, would have a lance, is a mystery to me…
  19. Pervert behavior…it’s infectious apparently…
  20. I hate to snark in this case, but it’s because you two are tsunderes? Note how Nomura-sensei purposely lines up romantic leads in this order…?
  21. Well, if anyone can encrypt the censors, go ahead and add them in XD
  22. Since this is more of a non-canon work, I will just dispense with the snark. Please bear with me on this.
  23. How did you even get through your previous schools...
  24. Have you even tasted them before, Touko...?
  25. Erm...what chest?
  26. RIP, Yuuji. Your fate has been sealed since that incident 6 years ago...
  27. Sometimes, I wonder if they do it on purpose...
  28. How is he going to do that, Shouko?
  29. Let me guess, running away from Ironman's lessons...and failing.
  30. Oi, Mizuki...it will be a miracle if his grades can reach A class standard...
  31. Why use sin and cos for maths only? There's still the basic simutaneous equations here, Touko...
  32. Again, another reference to this series. There has been lots of reference to this story.
  33. So ero is more important than life, Akihisa?
  34. What were you hoping from it, Touko...?
  35. Tsk...volume 3...
  36. Amano Touko. A yaoi fangirl, but not a yuri fangirl. The latter is canon though.
  37. Inoue Kenji-san's favorite fetish in this series...
  38. I agree on this...
  39. Of course he won't...
  40. Well, I regret that I can't show everyone the illustrations that apparently included Konoha in drag...
  41. The smell of death looms, loo loo loo. The wind roars...
  42. Maybe I should replace 'gather' with 'fall in'
  43. Triumph, Akihisa? You're telling Yuuji to triumph? Over THAT Shouko? Unicorns will appear in real life if that were to happen.
  44. I'll translate the noises for everyone then: ABESHI!! UWARABA!! TAWABA!! HIDEBU!!
  45. On a more serious note, since I don't get to say this often. The original text for the story will always leave Hideyoshi's gender vague, so I just use 'he' for convenience sake. Maybe I should have used s/he when referring to Hideyoshi, but never mind...
  46. OH THE IRONY!!!
  47. People, Hideyoshi just mistook someone's gender...
  48. ...So many things I want to talk about here...
  49. Just like volume 4...
  50. Sums Muttsurini up pretty nicely.
  51. I pity Konoha here.
  52. Again, ero is more important than life...mein gott...
  53. I don't get why the staff will even give students keys to so many places...and to Miharu of all people?
  54. What...One Thousand and One Nights between Konoha-chan and Miharu? God bless them...
  55. I will surely want to see the FFF against any other harem leads. (looking at some people, including a certain idiot of this particular series)
  56. Touko, you don't get it. The thing is that...if any of the FFF guys get a girlfriend, the rest of the FFF will forcefully drag him back into single status. It doesn't matter whether they're simple and honest or not...
  57. I think Muttsurini will rather die than admit that Aiko is his love interest...
  58. I don't think they will...status quo is God.
  59. The date will turn into full-blown rape...until Miharu knows the truth.
  60. In what aspect? Ero? Muttsurini will bleed enough to fill the Amazon river...
  61. This is a crossover between Baka Test and a series called Gakkou no Kaidan, which means 'School Staircase' (Inoue-shi referenced this work in volume 2's author's notes, and this would be the crossover). Note that in this work, only the male leads are referred to in text by their given names, while the rest are referred to by their family names.
  62. It's a nickname Yuuko gives the protagonist Kanba Yukihiro. 缶バッチ, Kanba-cchi, which translated will mean 'badge'
  63. I agree on that.
  64. Manzai = Traditional style of stand-up comedy in Japanese culture. Usually involves two performers, a straight man (tsukkomi) and a funny man (boke), trading jokes at great speed.
  65. Pretty nice of him here.
  66. Akihisa...that's three strikes.
  67. Admit what?
  68. Strike one: Lolicon for Hazuki.
  69. Strike two: Siscon for Akira.
  70. Strike three: Shotacon for his summoned beast
  71. Yoshii Akihisa is: The Most Interesting Man in the school. Stay stupid, my friends.
  72. Akihisa's M tendencies...
  73. Then keep an eye on him...
  74. You would think Muttsurini would be sent to the police at least once...imagine his sister finding out about his antics...Please look forward to volume 10.5~
  75. We know what kind of request Yuuji will make if he wins. Come on...
  76. To those who have no idea…think of the Baka test season 1 episode 8 accident. That would be the one.
  77. Hideyoshi…you pervert…
  78. No, that’ll be from Muttsurini.
  79. Might be the case
  80. What happiness?
  81. Wall-breaking is never the right thing to do, kids.
  82. Of course you didn’t.
  83. Ero>common sense…
  84. Lies, lies, I tell you.
  85. Tvtropes: Foregone Conclusion…
  86. Biggest tsundere in the series--Sakamoto Yuuji, going on for at least 6 years.
  87. I really can't imagine Hideyoshi looking menacing...
  88. We're talking about idiots here after all...
  89. Doesn't anyone think?
  90. Danke is German for thanks. Danke Schön is a more polite form of it.
  91. What's there to look under Minami's summoned beast when it is dressed in that...soldier thing?
  92. This hand of mine glows with an awesome POWER! Its burning grip tells me to defeat you! Take this! My love, my anger, and all of my sorrow! SHINING FINGER SWORRRRRDDDD!!! GO! GO! GO!!!
  93. How appropriate, Mario…
  94. Roasted Cantonese pork, actually.
  95. In other words, Flat-chest
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