Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume5

Novel Illustrations

These are the novel illustrations that were included in volume 5.

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Index
• 
  page 9
• 
  page 10 - 11
• 
  page 21
• 
  page 41
• 
  page 52 - 53
• 
  page 71
• 
  page 93
• 
  page 118 - 119
• 
  page 125
• 
  sitting diagram
• 
  page 153
• 
  page 154 - 155
• 
  page 165
• 
  page 182 - 183
• 
  page 191
• 
  beach diagram
• 
  page 231
• 
  page 245
• 
  page 270 - 271

Chapter 1 - The End of the Beginning of the Summer, Continued

Current Youth-points: +3 (leftover from the last round)

“Mm… Mmhmhm, Mm… Mmhmhm~”

“Uhhhhh, N*uticaa?”

“Mhm~ Mhm~”

That’s probably right. If I were wrong, it’d be a “Hmph, hmph.”

“Hm~ Mm~ Mm? ‘MhmhmMhmhmMhmhmm?’

“Uh… The theme of The Unfettered Shogun.”

“Mhm~ Mhm~”

What strange songs. There she was, frozen in order to not spread the dust about.

“Mhmhm~ Mhmhmhmm~ Hmhmh~”

“Hold it right there or you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble.”

“Mmph.”

I covered her mouth through the futon. Please forgive us, mister mouse, I will teach her proper decorum.

While we were indeed bored out of our minds, can anyone honestly argue that a game of riddles in the middle of a summer day like this is holds any meaning? Oh, yes. I’m Niwa Makoto. Greetings.

The second year of high school — the peak of youth. Only a week remained in the summer vacation of such a critical time. The bodies of cicadas laid untouched in the corners of the streets; here I was, savouring the end of the season.

Still, the insects chirped their summer songs in the garden. I turned my head; though we’d mowed the grass just few weeks ago, there they were, peaking out again to cover the entirety of the yard.

“Mm? Mmf~ Mhmph~ Mhmph~ Mm~ Mhm~ Mhmph~ Mhmhmhmhm.”

“We still playing? Uhh… No clue.”

“Mhmhmhm! Mhmhmhm Mhmhmhm.”

“Look, even if you are telling me the answer, I don’t speak futon and there aren’t any books teaching it.”

Our local Yokai — Touwa Erio — was currently throwing a tantrum on the floor. She’s pretty close to being a cicada nymph, with how she stuffed herself in there. Well, the differences would be that nymphs don’t look that much different out of their shell; she, on the other hand, gets some… dramatic differences. Let’s say a certain Space Ninja monster shed its skin and turned into a cute girl — people are going to be shocked, no doubt.

The mother of this Yokai stuck her head into the living room: It’s apparent that the act was her trying to be cute. For the sake of her forty years of age, I shall take notes of the few seconds when she rampaged down the hallway earlier like a child.

Wearing a shirt one size larger than mine, my aunt had a pair of shorts on with her hair tied into a bun with a handkerchief. Her age aside, it was a getup that emanated immaturity.

“Eri-chan~ Daddy~ lunch is ready~”

“Mhmph!”

“Hold on.” I pressed her head down.

Struggling about, Erio kicked her legs into the air.

Is kicking up the dust all you can do? Pointless! I thought as I witnessed the futile struggle.

“Who’s this ‘daddy?’”

My aunt Touwa Meme stared at me with a naïve smile unimaginable as belonging to a forty-year-old. I’m no father to a futon! Uh, high quality velvet? Bed? Heat blanket?

“Ohh~ Eri-chan~”

Despite not having a running start, my aunt slid toward me and pounced without a shred of hesitance. Her arms wrapped tightly around my back, and there was not a bit of space between us. Kyaa~ her boobs are on me~ Ahh! My something is ahhing. “Please pounce the one that you’re actually calling out!” Your Eri-chan is here!

Since that’s just how my aunt is, it’s evident that the Earth is still going off-course as planned.

I dragged the aunt latching on my waist and pushed the futon roll into the kitchen. Though it’s clearly a normal summer day with temperature much higher than the human body, the pair didn’t care about their dignity.

“Please let go of my shirt, or better yet, me!” I pushed against her forehead, yet as soon as I did that she held on even harder. Why must I partake in this silly game in this oven of a house? And you, futon roll, you better start walk with your own damn legs!

“Mako-kun is all grown up. Your aunt is tearing up at the thought!”

“The only one who will cry is dad when he sees you like this.”

“Meme-chan was only 20 when I first met you… Sniff sniff.”

That’s what you meant?!

Drag~ drag~ Bump, bump. It would seem that we’re still ways away from making normal human walking sounds.

Into the kitchen with a small turning fan, I smelled a distinct aroma — right away I could tell what’s on the menu today. Meme-san had prepared dry noodles, and the ginger powder was the culprit of that smell. By the way, we had the same thing two days ago, but it ended up as World War Ginger where we dumped as much ginger as possible into each other’s sauce. Needless to say, my tongue was annihilated. I no longer remember the catalyst of the battle, but I faintly recall something that stepped on her childish age-landmine. I will try not to do the same thing today.

“Don’t you think it’s about time we have a chapter on Meme-chan’s high school life?”

“Not much point to a story before we were born, is there.”

“Mako-kun the sperm!”

…After our usual banter, Meme-san, Erio and I formed a triangle at the table. “Oof.” Erio moaned as her shin bumped into the chair.

“Take the futon off!”

“Mm.” Perhaps because of the pain, she listened obediently. A hand emerged from beneath the futon — though seemingly restrained, it dexterously untied the rope. At this point in time, we no longer pay the act any mind. As we diligently prepared the utensils and the condiments, Erio finally exposed her face to the atmosphere.

… Still the outrageously amazing look that is birthed from the errors of the ecosystem. A head of azure-coloured hair that’s too wasteful even to have a strand lost; its length, along with her pale skin, reminds one of the sky. Lastly, a charmingly blank countenance that would surely help out a certain forty-year-old if she could share it. Well, she’s gotten a lot more expressive as of recent. Only if my aunt could be a little more mature and composed. That was merely a suggestion with intense yearning.

Erio raised her leg boldly as if showing off her bumped shin. She had on a one-piece dress, and her feet were naked. Does she have any sense of dignity? I caught a glimpse of her underwear. How shameless! I lectured internally while occasionally shooting a glance over. What’s wrong with acting like a typical high schooler? Right? No?

“Shin. Red.”

“It’ll turn blue in a while.”

“Traffic light.”

Pleased with her own jest, Erio smiled with her eyes squinted. Every time she smiles like so, it is as if she metamorphosized into someone else. Is there a single person on this planet who can directly withstand the sight?

Rumour has it that she was ostracised by the girls at her school. I can totally see why now.

“Cousin, is summer break ending?”

“Yeah, August’s almost over. Didn’t really go out a lot near the end though.”

The sun shone so out there — am I really going to end this summer being a shut-in?

As I contemplated, Meme-san interjected with a keen comment.

“Oh, that reminds me. The circulation board mentioned something about a group tour.”

“Group tour?”

“Just an overnight tour nearby. Do you want to go, Mako-kun?”

Meme-san glanced at me and Erio as she mixed the noodle sauce. Erio mumbled the world tour flatly and glimpsed at me. Her googly eyes were pure like still water. Why do you have to wait for my response? Not that I mind.

“Hmm. Where are we going?”

“The local beach, I think. There’s food, too, with unlimited drinks. Well, Meme-chan doesn’t care about that, because she’s not even drinking age yet~”

An old lady squirmed about while emphasizing how little she cared. I began my train of thought. The beach. The summer beach. Every time the wave meets the sand, it brings to me tried-and-true chances of winning some Youth-points back.

The regret of a youthful man who ended his summer without going to the beach once can only be matched by a baseball player who never made it to Koshien! How could I not nod my head?!

…But think it through. A local tour — the age gap between the attendees is going to be way wider than a that of a school fieldtrip. Sweat, the beach! While the prospect of a swimsuit is enticing, who is going?

I don’t even know what the definition of local is, but I know that Ryuushi-san’s house is not part of it. What about Maekawa-san? She doesn’t seem to live around here.

“I want to go.”

As I pondered, Erio replied timidly and watched anxiously for our approval.

“To the beach. With mom and cousin.”

Rarely does Erio express her opinion so assertively and gleefully.

Me and Meme-san nodded at each other.

I’m not one to be so stubborn as to turn them down at this point.

“Alright~ It’s settled! Meme-san is gonna slay Mako-kun with her long-awaited R-18 swimsuit!”

“Uh, slay?”

What manner of horror does she plan to show me? I trembled… Fortunately no one below the age of 18 can hear or see all this, thank goodness. Can’t believe I am actually approving that useless guideline that only impedes the young’s development. Now that’s surprising. Actually, who the hell does she plan on showing that too? That Yamamoto guy?

“Let’s get a swimsuit for Eri-chan.”

“I can swim like this.”

Erio began picking at her noodles as she answered. She takes her bath with clothes on, after all.

“No you can’t. If we don’t calm Mako-kun down from his nightly fantasies, the extra carbon dioxide from his excessive breathing will give the neighbours a reason to be mad at us.”

“Mm.”

“Don’t nod!”

Erio looked to the neatly-folded sheet on the floor. If we’re talking about her, she might just point to the newest futon available for a swimsuit without a trace of doubt.

“Eri-chan~ Here, ahh~”

Meme-san brought some noodles next to Erio’s mouth. Embarrassed by being treated like a child, Erio shouted with beet-red face, ‘I-I can eat myself.’ Seemingly aware of my eyes, she nevertheless ate the noodles her mother offered. Slurp, she swallowed the noodle much more quickly than usual.

“How is it?”

“Mm!”

A nervous Erio gulped it down, seemingly uncaring for even the taste. Following that, both she and Meme-san picked some noodles up, dipped them into the sauce and brought them to me. Wait, hold on.

“Cousin. Ah~ Ah~”

No. ‘Why’ was the only word for her action. Why kind of thinking process could lead to her thinking Meme-san -> Erio -> me? She was perhaps unused to it, her shoulders stiffened and cheeks glowed.

“Hurry up~ Mako-kun. Chug! Chug!”

Meme-san giggled childishly, clapping in rhythm. Her natural ability to irritate people is truly first rate.

“Ah! The sauce’s dripping. Hurry, cousin. Ahh~?”

'Ah! The sauce's dripping. Hurry, cousin. Ahh~?'

Even Erio’s high-strung. Here! I shut my eyes and opened my mouth. The taste of chilled noodles spread in my mouth. “Oof!” And then of blood. I opened my eyes in a panic. Having neither the experience of feeding and the ability to control her strength, Erio stabbed my tongue with the chopsticks and recklessly shoved the noodles into my mouth. All sorts of mixed fluid flooded my palate.

“Good?”

“There’s nothing bittersweet about this…”

Feeding or getting fed isn’t part of the calculation of Youth points… A little too sweet for me, you see.

In any case, the real problem was what’s after this. I glanced — Ugh! Meme-san’s already waiting for me on the other end. Ah~ She anticipated for me with her mouth agape. I could probably see her throat, but I don’t float that way!

“Wuu~ I’m starving! Papa~ Feed the chick please~”

Shut it, you archaeopteryx! Gah, seriously. I joylessly snatched some noodles and toss them into her yapper. “Chomp!” She bit down on my chopsticks with no intention of letting go.

“Slurp slurp!”

“Don’t lick them!”

I pulled. In my hand were chopsticks slobbered with saliva. Anyone who could use them directly at this point is a hero. Uh, maybe Erio can… Sure would be nice if the order was backward.

“This beautiful triangle is what’s known as the pyramid force!”

“A pretty flat pyramid at that.”

It’s just a triangle at this point. The relationship between the Touwas and their neighbours is the same.

“…Mm~”

Meme-san moaned at the plate in her hand. I think she’s looking at the reflection in the sauce.

“What’s the matter?”

It’s not like I wanted to hear about her troubles, but I knew she will probably do something anyway, so I took the first shot.

“I was just thinking, ‘is there less wrinkle on my face now?’”

“Isn’t it because your eyes are getting old too, right?”

World War Ginger began. The Touwa residence (and their brains) is as spirited as ever.

“And that’s how we decided on the trip set on the day after tomorrow.”

‘Mmm~ But Papa I won’t let anything of the sort happen!’

“Eh?”

There are just too many ‘dads’ in my life. That said, a pedigree of all of us is probably just a straight line.

Leaning on the slightly ajar window, I looked out to as a jet soared through the night sky. On the phone with me was Mifune Ryuushi-san. Due to our terrifying phone bill, we’ve resorted to communicate mainly with text. However, as soon as I told her about our trip, she called.

Breeze gentle like tissue papers was just slightly chilly after standing in it for a bit. It’s probably that uniquely humid wind that could dampen your hair.

‘Staying out overnight without my permission. This is a matter of life and death, y’know, Niwa-kun!’

“That bad? Is it because the trip’s that great or because my life is lighter than hydrogen?”

And whose exact permission am I looking for? Though still confused, I could tell Ryuushi-san was quite livid hearing about the trip. Was it out of jealousy or something else? I recall her telling me to not go near the beach back when I was hospitalized. Something about the jelly fishes being soft. Hm~ that’s when she started with the strange phrases, too… Being mysterious is not all that bad, though. Okay, let’s keep things out of perspective today!

‘As long as I, Ryuuko-san, breathes, I will never let ya ruin the local moral! And If you insist on going with Touwa-san! Ya will have to go through me!’

I could hear her fist punching through the air… Orally presented. Sounded more like failed whistling, or at best failing to light a match.

“It’s not like I’m only going with her… Wait, were you serious about having to go through you?”

‘Eh? Ya don’t seriously plan on coming over now, are ya?’

How did you even arrive at that? Well, I guess I’d have to meet her if I wanna fight her, but she sounded way too mellow about that. The possibility of visiting Ryuushi-san’s room is indeed appealing, but there’s a curfew in the Touwa household.

“Oh yeah, Maekawa-san told me her family is going too.”

‘WHY!’

“Uh, I guess because we live in the same town. Also, I’ve never heard you ask something like you’re actually asking.”

‘It’s a riddle that I don’t even have the time to think about~!’

Slap, slap! Sounded like she was kicking her bed. It’s just like when Erio hops up and down in her futon roll. Ryuushi-san’s bed, huh. Wonder what it smells (omitted).

‘Niwa-kun, ya are always leavin’ me out~’

“Of course not. It’s not like I planned the trip or anything.”

‘Ya are stingy~’

“’Sorry, we can’t take more than three people…’ I never said that!”

“Stingiest!”

“Ryuushi-san, you sure like those -est.”

‘I told ya it’s Ryuuko… Oh, I know!’

I could hear a fist landing on her palm.

“Uh, what you thinking?”

“Ryuuko in the backpack!”

“……Huh?”

‘Ryuuko-san in backpack! Niwa-kun would hold on tightly! And then you will arrive at the beach! Whoa! Ryuuko-san in the bag! Ka-pow! …Yeah.’

“Um…”

‘What do ya think about this totally supernatural way of getting to the beach naturally?!’

“Well, how do I put it…”

‘Daw, ya don’t sound stoked at all! Oh, no; ya are not so rude to think that ya can’t pick up the backpack, are ya? Ya are so rude, Niwa-kun!’

She got mad at her own imagination. What I meant is, Ryuushi-san, if I could put you in a backpack… I’d just bring you back into my room instead of the beach~ Well, couldn’t just say that to her face now, could I.

‘Then plan B! ‘Operation Niwa-kun’s one-day-child’ has been revealed!’

“Um, like I said, you don’t need any of those fancy plans. Just tell them you wanna tag along and they’ll let you in.”

As fascinated as I was with the specifics of the plan, I had to give her some proper guidance. A local tour isn’t all that uptight, so as long as you pay up it’s probably fine. Plus, strictly speaking, I’m not even a real resident of this town.

‘Ya aren’t saying that Ryuushi-san is such a nobody that no one would notice if I were to just walk in the back, right?! Is this the Niwa style indirect insult?’

“You suddenly sound incredibly depressed.’

‘It’s all ya fault, ya know.’

What~ how am I related to your complexes? Uh… Yeah, nothing, absolutely.

‘Anyway, Niwa-kun, um… Do you want me to go, too? Or something?’

“Of course. It’s better that way.”

‘Pfft~’

She comically spewed something out. Uh, is she thinking ‘ya might think it’s funny, but we’re all just laughing at you?’ If we were to think like Ryuushi-san.

‘Well, well. I guess Ryuuko-san hafta enter eternal summer mode now~’

“Good, not that it’s not already summer though.”

YES! YES! I shouted internally while keeping a poker face and pumped my fists numerous times. You see, dear, it’s the beach. Beach + Ryuushi-san. If I don’t see any swimsuits under the sun, the so-called sea is nothing but saltwater! It’s worth even less than tap water with salt added!

‘Actually~ Ryuuko-san has been occupied by basketball and club activities~ But being Niwa-kun’s guardian comes first! Let’s gobbled everything off the schedule!’

“You did not just use that phrase outside of the context of eating, did you?”

‘W-what~? Ya are not questioning me, are ya~? Ryuuko-san’s always busy, ya know~!’

What a childish retort. Well, I suppose she’s always kinda child-like.

Under her influence, I wanted to make fun of her a little too.

“You are? With what?”

‘Uh, like hang out with Mikki!’

“Mhm.”

‘Like, dribbling basketball during club hours!’

“Right, mhm.”

‘…Mikki hanging out with me.’

…Yeah, that one doesn’t get a free pass. Anymore she’d end up hanging out with a basketball. You know, this is kind of like asking what the president of a company does. ‘What are you in charge of?’ ‘I sign the documents.’ ‘Yes.’ ‘I stamp.’ ‘Yes.’ ‘…And I sign names.’

‘Something like that? Anyway, that’s probably why I’m so busily busy.’

“Yeah~ Totally.”

Like ‘me’ and ‘you’ make us, colour and other colours a lot of colours.

‘But since we’re going ta the beach, gotta prepare myself! Niwa-kun’s life or death depends on this, after all!

“Yeah, the beach. Can’t forget the swimsuit.”

I finally let my intentions known, but being so high strung Ryuushi-san didn’t hear me.

‘Well, Imma say goodbye for now! …Look forward to the beach!’

“Way ahead of you.”

You’re the star of hope, Ryuushi-san. I imagined Ryuushi-san’s bashful look like whenever I was buying that porno mag before punching my shamelessly honest head.

…Oh, why weren’t I excited about Maekawa-san? Come on, how can anyone expect a person like her to show up with a swimsuit? It wouldn’t be surprising if she shows up as a fish in judo robe.

I let out a breath after ending the chat. As fun as it is to talk with Ryuushi-san, my brain tends to be mushy after hearing her kiddy speech. As a human being it’s naturally tiring. I rubbed the wrist that was locked in place and worked my shoulder.

“……”

The birthmark-like scar on my arm left by the meteor may become less obvious in the future, but it’s unlikely to disappear altogehter. It is a bizarre reminder of this summer.

The unforgettable image burnt into my retina occasionally appears in my sight.

And to be rid that scene, I stretched my arms even further out.

The night wind brushed my wound, as though gently and gradually melting the fragments of that meteor left in my skin.

“…Oh?”

In the yard below, Erio stood next to the telescope, her hands waving at me. Under the starry sky that hid even the moon, her hair emitted the particles that seem to affirm her existence.

“Cousin~ The stars~”

“Yeah~ Coming now~”

I gestured back; I thought about jumping down, but quietly turned back toward door. As an Earthling, I must use the stairs instead of relying on something unfeasible like teleporting.

Without using your own legs, you can’t even reach the five centimetres ahead of you.

“…Still, the end of summer begins~”

In more ways than one, this summer had been too stimulating.

So we have to rest well, like spreading out in a pool of water.

If only the trip is the true summer break, I hoped earnestly.

“Swimsuit! Beach! Summer!”

“Doesn’t that order sound off?”

“I’m just trying to read Mako-kun’s mind.”

Spot on– why do you even care! And please don’t shout in the streets, people are watching! I felt like a kid tugging at his parent’s sleeves in embarrassment. Her actual daughter though was ashamed for other reasons, hiding herself behind me. You sheep! Not that I could just force her to stop, though. Man, girls, am I right?

The last Saturday of August, we headed to the bus stop at the end of the shopping strip, where the tour members were gathering. Presumably to cut down on the cost, they did not rent a tour bus. Well, taking the public transport is slow-paced, and there are always plenty of space. I suppose it might even be considered good, if we can spend less, seeing as how Meme-san is footing for the entirety of the bill.

“In other words, it’s all just money to buy Mako-kun! You will be your aunt’s plaything until tomorrow!”

“Please don’t say such inappropriate things while reading someone’s thought.”

She needs a volume knob on her back, for the sake of her sanity and to keep those around her stress-free. Still, if she were to act her age, I’d freak out too, so I just let her be. The human adaptability is truly terrifying.

Still, the summer sun that blasted endlessly upon us is something I can never get used to. Pot and plants were placed alongside the grass, which promptly filled the stop with its aroma. The shopping strip seemed almost monotonous in this heat, having no trees for the cicadas to cry on.

The tabaco shack with a collapsed placard hanging off of it; the wagashi store Maekawa-san works at, and the bicycle shop with seemingly no customers. The air could not have been staler, blockaded by the brandless clothes stores. With Erio stuck onto my back, and Meme-san grabbing onto me whenever she gets the chance, I could feel my conscious drifting toward the beach. Guess I didn’t even need the bus. The tinnitus set in.

As part of the group, the Maekawa-san family stood next to the abandoned train track. While the parents were about the same height, the daughter stood out far more. The three of them chatted jubilantly in their little circle. The Maekawa family had already came over to greet us, but it’s evident that Maekawa dad was weary of me. The interaction didn’t last long.

As a side note, Maekawa-san was for some reason wearing a red tracksuit with a huge hiking backpack on her back. According to herself, ‘it’s what I consider as the training regiment for the PE division.’ It’s highly possible and not at all hard to imagine that it’s her cosplay outfits for the beach, so I made no mention of it.

I am, however, a bit curious about how her parents view her hobby.

“Whoa, hey! You’re hurting me!”

The collar strangled me; I finally turned to Erio. She was like a koala plastered onto a tree with how she held onto my shirt. I threw her off; landing on the floor, she looked back and forth, wary of the people eyes. Why?

There were, us included, about twenty or so people gathered here for the trip. ‘That’s more people than last year,’ the old director told me gleefully. It seems that young people like me and Erio are a rare sight in one of these trips, and his friendly attitude extended to even Erio.

With a glimpse, it’s apparent that most members were over the age of forty. As surprising as it is to say, Meme-san was indeed considered one of the younger ones here. I’m beginning to worry about the future of this planet!

“Oh, are you seeing how young Meme really is? Mako-kun is finally aware! Hooray, slave!”

“Did I not ask you to stop reading minds like you’re some sort of non-human? …Oh, so that’s it! Finally, I understand now.”

She’s classified as a new species, ‘Meme-san.’ How does a daring mother like her give birth to this critter-like misanthrope? Meme-san’s entire name is written as Touwa Meme. Meme. Every time I see this name in my phone (which was put in by none other than herself) I could feel my brows frown. Why is that?

Erio had wanted to carry her favourite futon (and nothing else) out on this trip, to which I forced her to leave at the house. Her change of clothes was packed inside of Meme-san’s bag. Hence, Erio left with nothing in hands. She had even wanted to leave the house with no shoes on: It took quite the effort to make her wear just beach sandals. Speaking of which, why must I take care of her every problem? The role of being her guardian comes naturally whenever I watch her odd and clumsy acts.

Being a guardian is, however, on the polar end of scoring Youth-points. It’s not something I stomach easily. Still, there’s one very simple reason why I let her grab onto my back.

“Cousin~”

That was it. The phrase that is far more effective than having her call me by my name.

“Cousin~”

Tug, tug~ She bashfully pulled on my cloth, replaying the exact same words I imagined in my mind.

“What?”

“Just wanted to say it.”

“…”

Did you not pick up anything good from your mom?! Your cousin is very worried… Not that’s my concern, so I kept quiet. Could you stop yanking my shirt?

As I was dealing with Erio, hair designer Ooi Toe approached us – smiling with her daughter sitting on her shoulder. Her family was on the trip as well. Their skin were unbelievably white — if you were to tell me they use ectoplasm as lotion every night, I’d believe you. I followed Ooi-san’s waist-length hair as it swayed left and right. Different from Erio’s, hers was dark and shiny. She wore on her head a distinctively red and worn-out hat.

“It’s the Touwa tribe, huh?”

Ooi-san greeted us in the strangest way. How could she consider me part of them? I’m not one of the expats who plan on living my entire life in the Touwa household.

…But, uhh, how do I put it? It’s not like I’m homesick to the death or anything, but I have to go back someday. Such is the mindset of a transfer student. Perhaps I may even miss it here.

“G-good morning…”

Erio silently peeked out from behind my arm and nodded at Ooi-san. She then gawked at the little girl straddled on her mom’s shoulders. ‘Stare?’ The girl ogled curiously at Erio’s cobalt hair; Erio seemed like a deer in the headlight. Are they on the same level?

“Good morning, Erio~ You and you eyes are as wonderful as ever~”

Uhm, her eyes just shone like a cat who just spotted her prey. Is this the so-called bully aura?

As though noticing just that, Erio scuttled behind me.

“How keen of you, Mrs. Barber, to compliment my little Eri-chan~”

Meme-san stepped in, perhaps subconsciously to protect Erio. “Bam~” She tapped on Ooi-san’s shoulder. Ooi-san grimaced: “It’s a salon.” Her every smile seemed to hide within its matureness the naivety of a frivolous child. While fitting, it is still an odd and conflicting smile.

“Right, yeah. Say, I just noticed you three have been growing your hair out. Perhaps a little trimming is due? If I may have the honour.”

She giddily advertised her service, making the shape of pairs of scissors with her hands. ‘Wooey~’ the child imitated her mother with a goat-like squeal.

How about me? I grabbed my hair and wondered. Seems okay.

“Ooi-san, you’re not so shabby yourself: Your hair got even longer.”

A meaningless question, but can designers cut their own hair?

“Heheh, how could I possibly lose?”

“What?”

“Oh, don’t mind me. Worry not, this has nothing to do with this chapter.”

“Say what~? Well, I’m not worried anymore, phew~”

Meme-san placed her hand on her chest for some reason. I swear, these people are often so obviously antagonistic.

“I can give a family discount if you all came before school starts. I’m waiting~”

Upon those unusual words, Ooi-san left. Her daughter waved lightly at us, evidently no longer shy of us. I returned the gesture while my thoughts just now escaped my lips.

“She and Erio are the same, huh. Her manner and cautiousness, I mean.”

“N-no! We’re not!”

Hmph! Erio stuck her chest out proudly. Uh, I don’t really care either way, but it might be more convincing if you let go of my shirt.

Ooi-san went up to Maekawa-san as well. She felt her hair, to which Maekawa-san did not resist. She seemed more abashed. Does she not seem like one of the grown-ups standing next to Ooi-san?

“Say~ Maekawa, where is Princess Kaguya?”

“She said something about having to clean her house first when she was in the shop yesterday.”

Princess Kaguya? Judging from the name, must be Ooi-san’s friend. Sounds like royalty.

“Mm~ alright, whatever floats her boat. If she were here, it’d be like our high school graduation trip.”

Ooi-san burst out laughing before leaving Maekawa-san’s side for her husband.

These were all the younger participants of our local tour. The rest were people around the age of fifty and sixty. They all seemed to know each other already, chatting away happily in their loosely formed circles.

Meme-san tried to invite Tamura obaa-san as well, but she was turned down. ‘Folks are gonna laugh at how old I am…’ were the words she seemed to have said.

“Yoohoo~ Niwa-kun~”

“…Oh! That manner of speaking, it’s Ryuushi-san.”

Rambling her way here from the other side was without a doubt Ryuushi-san. She had on a green cloche hat, and a black shoulder bag slung across the shoulder. From afar, she appeared like an elementary school girl on a fieldtrip. How adorable of her! She waved energetically. Here comes one more young member.

She jogged steadily, ‘Screech~’ and stopped in front of me and Erio with that mock-brake sound. Adjusting her hat, Ryuushi-san looked from me to Erio, then to Meme-san.

Her expression went from smile, awkward smile, to heavy ponder.

“Man~ Niwa-kun, I gotta thank ya for your invitation!”

“Oh no no no, it’s my pleasure to have you here on such a hot day…”

Got your swimsuit ready? I bit my tongue hard before the words accidentally leave my throat. I concealed my desire and checked the surrounding. Erio and Meme-san ordered me to stay home yesterday when they went shopping for swimsuits. They said something about a big surprise… Am I in for one?”

“And Touwa-san and, uh~ Oba-san! Uwahwahwah~!”

“Those in favour of changing soft-cheeked girl into loose-cheeked girl, say aye!”

Under Meme-san’s attacks, Ryuushi-san’s face was stretched like a squirrel’s; Meme-san pulled upward, as though really asking for others’ opinion. I guess from how she didn’t just tackle Ryuushi-san, Meme-san is adult enough today. Maybe she’s just excited about the trip.

“Mako-kun, you aren’t teaching your friends the proper etiquettes~”

“Uh, you don’t exactly educate a friend, do you?”

Your daughter is already such a handful, you know. With that jest, I stole a glance at Erio. As expressionless as ever, she pointed at Ryuushi-san’s squishy face.

“Something something Ryuushi, your face is amazing.”

Something something… This kid never plans on remembering her name!

“I tuld ya ish Ryuuko~”

I can only give my upmost respect to Ryuushi-san for being so committed in asserting her name in any situation.

“Ow ow ow… Smooth-skinned sensei truly has no mercy.”

Finally freed, Ryuushi-san rubbed at her face. Maekawa-san, who’s also wobbling from her own pack, had her eyes glued onto Ryuushi-san.

The old folks surrounding also gazed at Ryuushi-san, who entered so dynamically, yet was met with her cheeks pinched. Their conversation just now seemingly burrowed itself beneath the ground.

“Eh? Ryuushi is tagging along?”

Ryuushi-san stopped to the questions. With a stretch she answered Maekawa-san. Maekawa-san, too, adjusted her backpack to her posture. The picture was now the image of an adult talking to a child.

“Yes, yes, yesh! While I may be from the next town over, please don’t be strangersh! And my name is Ryuuko~”

“Hahah, got it, got it. Still, pretty easy to figure out who invited you.”

She smirked at me upon finishing her words. Well, of course it’s me. Yet, despite not having done anything bad, I squirmed knowing that I’ve been found.

Maekawa-san always see through me, and the feeling doesn’t sit well. She’s probably just sharp.

“Y’know, trips are often the most fun before you head out~”

Ryuushi-san, her cheeks finally recovered, beamed at me. After waiting a whole week for that smile, I begin to believe that the Earth has a beautiful tomorrow.

But that was a fleeting movement — Ryuushi-san had awoken. She crossed her arms and exhaled loudly.

“But I hafta say, there’s something wrong here. Being the guardian of Niwa-kun, I can’t just sit and watch now, can I~?”

“Wait, what guardian?” Hold on, misses big kid, you don’t get to play backup here.

“If Niwa-kun is gonna be like that all~ day~ with Touwa-san, ya are gonna get sweaty and get itches on your back! My goodness, how awful would that be!”

Her hands trembled, as though what she had just described was some sort of horror story.

Wasn’t that the exact same gesture when she was talking about the jellyfishes? How useful.

Hearing the words, Erio scratched my back as if she was reminded of something. She never holds back when it comes to this kind of stuff, so it actually hurt. Especially her middle finger, which always manages to delayer my skin.

“What’s wrong with you?”

I inquired her for an explanation. Seeing my face, the blank-faced Erio revealed a tinge of satisfaction.

“Itch-counter.”

“…Uh, a little too early.”

“Nah~ Lemmie show you the fastest way~”

Ryuushi-san skipped behind my back and pulled Erio’s hands away.

“Let go~”

“N-no!”

Oh, as weak as she was, she’s putting up a fight; she plastered herself onto my back. Look, Eri-chan, I’ve meaning to tell you: Before we get to the heat, let’s talk about how my heart won’t be able to handle more of this… Please let go.

“Mm~” Ryuushi-san pinched Erio’s cheeks.

“Ehh~” Erio began her counterattack, returning the favour.

Thus begin the face pinching tug of war.

'Thus begin the face pinching tug of war.'

“Mm~ eh~!”

The two of them cried simultaneously while pulling on each other’s faces. I wonder if it’s some sort of trend that’s popular with the girls, since Meme-san was doing the same thing too. They both stomped the ground; trying to escape one another’s grasps, both ended up staring at the sky.

While maintaining the same pose and struggling to break free, their cheeks swelled in red.

…It’s actually pretty interesting, so I let them be. I wonder if they’re really enemies.

Meme-san, too, smiled quietly at the girls going at one another… She must have also felt joy. As toilsome as the road was, she finally got to see her daughter Erio playing with her friend.

Maekawa-san too took a step back, watching over them helplessly with a smile.

Not long after the girls’ tug of cheek began, a red bus that seemed to almost be shaved in half by the buildings on its sides came from the opposite direction Ryuushi-san arrived from.

“Alright, that’s the bus we’re ridin’~ Everyone please line up.”

From the bus’s noise and the voice of the director, the old men broke from their circles. Sluggishly they lined up next to the bus stop sign. Seeing so, the Touwa, Maekawa, and Ooi families also began following.

Attached to my back was Erio, and to my sides Ryuushi-san and, uh, Meme-san.

“You want this to be our post-marriage honeymoon, or pre-marriage? Whatever you want, Mako-kun!”

“My apologies, but I am obliged to only answer questions that complies to non-outerspace laws. And please stop groping my arm, it’s going to make the heat rashes worse.”

“Our first couple’s task is to make rashes together!”

“Now that’s gonna make the Americans cry!”

“Woow~ Ya are linking arm with your aunt huh~ Diss Ryuushi-san respects you!”

“Here you go making words up. So, uh, do you wanna, like, l-link arms?”

“Eek! B-but we’re practically linked in the heart already, ya know!”

“Eh? Oh, I guess…”

“Cousin~”

“Don’t make me retort your ‘just wanna see your reaction’ for the third time, you little– “

“Looking forward. To the beach.”

She easily parried my move. With the brightest smile, Erio beamed at me.

And I inadvertently looked straight at the expression that would accidentally increase my Youth-points.

“……Right.”

Maekawa-san turned to me with a mocking face.

In any case, the arrival of the bus finally gave respite to my perpetually twisted face.

I chuckled to myself.

As if declaring, ‘so what if she’s a weirdo?’

I am the ambassador of love comedies on this trip, y’know.

Something along the line of, in the brink of a galactic war, what I held in hand was not a sword, but her hand.

With that out of the way, I hope all goes well.

Some people think that there is no such thing as coincidence, or that such thinking has never been correct. While I believe that trying to instill right or wrong to such concepts is in itself incorrect, I still wonder if the arrival of this bus served a certain purpose.

As expected, the bus that seemed to have parked at the hottest stop in this entire shopping street was empty. The AC’s breeze that welcomed us froze even our brains. With the director at front, everyone gradually entered the bus. The old men sat wherever they wanted, instead of filling the bus from the back. Such a strange arrangement led to Ryuushi-san and Erio sitting shoulder to shoulder. As long as one doesn’t have some strange doggedness, I don’t see what’s wrong with calling this ‘coincidence.’

They started arguing about where to sit on the way into the bus. Pinching each other’s faces, they ended up like this. With an awkward expression, they shot glances at one another, but never asking the others to switch seat with them.

And so the bus, now filled with people, began rumbling again. I sat next to the two of them, which happened to be on top of one of the rear wheels. And perhaps because of that, the shaking reached the deepest part of my stomach.

By the way, sitting next to me by the window was Maekawa-san. It just happened when Erio and Ryuushi-san were fighting among themselves. Hm, sitting shoulder to shoulder to somebody so tall is indeed intimidating. By the way, Maekawa dad’s glares from behind me were just as scary.

“Transfer student, you probably prefer sitting next to Ryuushi or Touwa, don’t you?”

Heheh~ Maekawa-san inquired with a sarcastic chuckle.

“Oh, not really,” I waved dismissively, “I didn’t really get a chance to speak to Maekawa-san earlier, so this is just fine.”

Upon hearing that, Maekawa-san grumbled and rolled her eyes. With an arm against the window, she rested her head on her hand. With restless eyes, she seemed to assess me.

“Uh, what’s wrong?”

“You’re not an airhead, are you, transfer student?”

“What, me? Aren’t I pretty normal?”

If anyone deserves that title, it’d be Ryuushi-san. How goes their battle? With the building moving backward as the backdrop, I saw Ryuushi-san attempting to converse with Erio like a certain scene from a movie when the boy handed some chocolate to an alien.

“G-gum…?”

The strange perspective of Ryuushi-san searching her backpack for the piece of gum she’s now handing to Erio. Was that a sign of peace? What’s Erio’s reaction?

“T-thank you… Nom.”

Erio swallowed the gum and Ryuushi-san’s fingers. To Erio’s overly obedient response, Ryuushi-san could hardly say a word. It’s more like pet and owner at this point.

“Oh, right~”

Erio began rummaging through her skirt pocket while chewing the gum. For someone who should have came empty handed, what could she possibly be looking for? I stared, only to see her produce a small pouch.

She loosened the pouch lace: Candies the size of large raindrops tumbled out; she unwrapped one of the milk candies and delivered it to Ryuushi-san’s nose.

“C-candy?”

“M-much thanks. Nom nom…”

As if imitating Erio, Ryuushi-san licked at the candy. Despite looking tickled, Erio did not retreat. She once again began chewing her gum… This must be what snakes trying to each other look like. Well, it’s certainly much better than just ignoring one another. I nodded my head and pretended I saw nothing. Feeling someone’s eyes boring into my face, I turned to see Maekawa-san’s scornful look.

“You wanna sit over there instead?”

She gestured cursorily toward Ryuushi-san and Erio. “Nah,” I dismissed her again and began pondering what I had done to upset Maekawa-san. Surely it’s not because she wanted someone to pay attention to her. It’s hard to imagine, seeing how Maekawa-san seemed so much more mature than the others.

So why then? Does she want to cosplay on the bus and I’m in the way?

“Hm, someone’s calling?” Maekawa-san went through the pocket in her tracksuit with the same belittling look. Her phone vibrated, emitting the sound of a normal home phone. Unlike Ryuushi-san’s phone, which is decked-out with many accessories, Maekawa-san’s was fresh. Just like the owner itself, I thought admiringly while watching her accept the call.

“Hello? …What? Details? No. Oh, I see.”

She removed the phone from her ear before turning toward me. We met eyes, to which I thought perhaps she’s about to complain about my staring. Yet, as I prepared my defence, something outside of my expectation appeared.

“Transfer student, do you prefer left or right?”

“Huh?”

“Well, someone’s asking. They said not to think too much about it, just your guts feeling. She’s always going on about something like a galactic war and whatnot, not that I really listen to her.”

Okay, so why did you ask the question for her? And who’s this person asking about space warfare? What kind of phone call does a person like that make, anyway? Maekawa-san’s summary of their conversation was so concise that it’s the only thing that occupied my mind. Well, the person seems to be waiting, so I’ll just go out on a limb here.

“Left, then.” Reason being I sat on the left side.

“Mkay. Hey, he said left.”

Maekawa-san nonchalantly told the other party. After a few more words, she hung up and put her phone back into her pocket. Once again she put her cheek against her hand and looked at the outside scenery.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, just a friend, I guess.”

A dissatisfying answer. Maekawa-san really likes ambiguous words.

Yet as this conversation ended, I felt the presence of another pair of eyes, this time a lot more displeasing. Could you please look at my left instead? There’s another pair that’s far more interesting than me! With that thought in mind, I looked up to find Meme-san poking her head out from her spot a row away from ours. She looked like a child who just couldn’t keep quiet; she must have been kneeling on her seats. At least blink, man.

“Please remain seated and fasten your seatbelt when the bus is moving.”

I reminded her like a tour guide. She finally blinked. Ugh, please try to keep your strange behaviours to a limit. (?)

“I figure I’d keep an eye on Mako-kun in case you’re feeling bored~”

“Speak for yourself!”

The grandma sitting next to Meme-san leaned against the window, her hat covering her sleeping face.

“You~ Got~ Me~!”

Wham! Meme-san exploded from her seats; she darted in the bus like a ping pong ball, pushing left and right before finally squeezing herself in the space in front of me. We were already short on space before, now that Meme-san’s here, the picture of hell had been painted clearly.

“Come on~ I wanna play poker~ It’s so boring~”

She childishly tugged on Maekawa-san and my hands.

“But we don’t even have cards.”

With that response, I cocked my head toward Maekawa-san in hope that she could help out this conundrum in the form; of a giant kid. To my wry smile, Maekawa-san’s expression seemed to have softened the usual aloof look returned to her.

“I got some cards here in my bag.”

“Oh, that’s Maekawa-san for ya.”

Despite the complement, the memory of my aunt stealing my first hug after a game of trump surfaced in my mind.

Ahhh.

“Hmhmhm~ You dare to challenge someone who has friends in the poker research club?”

“Wait, she’s the one who challenged you though.”

‘She’ being the person who’s taking up all our spot. Why must I move my legs to such an uncomfortable position for her compulsions? Life sure is full of senselessness.

Putting that aside, Maekawa-san seems to know an extraordinary amount of people.

“FYI, a research club is not a school approved club.”

“Why are you trying to make your source of power even weaker?”

The fist of Meme-san suddenly erupted from below, almost taking my head with it.

“Alrighty! With Meme-chan’s kiss on the line, the first round of Old Maid begins!”

“We are not playing your kind of degenerate games!”

…Whether it be the twist of fate or inevitability of destiny, what’s clear is something is plotting against me.

The one person on this bus who’s the most intimate with the ambassador of love comedy happened to be Meme-san.

…Wait. How’s that any different than the usual?

Chapter 2 - Chanbara Alien

Chapter 2 - Chanbara Alien

“It’s the seaaaaaaa!”

“Huh? You’re getting all that excited just from your hometown beach?”

Well, I guess I did dance on the sand too the first time I saw the sea. But in my particular case, it was understandable since I didn’t come from a coastal town. Imagine having no sea in spite of living on an island nation; that’s like settling on a place to live based on false advertisement.

“Weeell, since I took the trouble of coming here, I felt like I had a duty to get soaked and properly moved.”

Ryuushi-san gazed out over the sea from the top of the world with a "heh heh heh” before scratching her cheek with a shy smile. As I was on the verge of being moved by Ryuushi’s smile, that feeling was pushed aside by the flow of people coming down the slope and the attention they were drawing and eventually faded away. I found myself spontaneously half-jogging.

The bus trip had taken nearly 40 minutes, and it was now right before midday. At that hour, the sun hit so hard that it felt as if the sand would fly off the ground.

Once again, the bus pulled at a deserted stop, much like the one in the shopping street. There, halfway through a road that undulated like a slope, stood a rusty black bench with a bus stop sign that looked like it would crumble at a moment’s notice with its core exposed. The road was flanked on both sides by tall, slender and lush trees. As I took a step off the bus, I felt the rustling of the powdery sand beneath the soles of my shoes. The strong scent of the sea was then carried on by a sticky breeze, and Ooi-san walked ahead, using her hand to hold down her hair spilling out of her hat. The girl holding her hand was also pressing down on her head as if to imitate her mother. How heartwarming. I also used to imitate adults when I was a child.

The trees around swayed in a wind that seemed to stick to the skin rather than simply blow through; the rustling sounded like the roar of the waves. At that moment, the sun was hidden by the clouds, and with just the right amount of dimness, my skin shivered for a second at the sudden chill.

The actual waves rolling on the sandy beach were still far away. From the road, the only thing that was visible was the horizon and small tourist boats advancing across the water. Regrettably, within myself, I didn’t feel the same amount of excitement as Ryuushi-san.

Having stepped out of the bus, our neighbourhood excursion group set off in the direction of the ryokan where we would be staying that night. We had some free time after that. What should we do?… Obviously, go to the beach.

Going to the summery seaside and ignore the saltwater? Blasphemy towards youth. Well, probably.

Walking by my side, Erio looked up at me. As I looked back with a “Hum?” she slightly shook her head with a “Humm”. As I pondered a bit what that was about, I immediately came to a realisation.

This was the closest sea to our town. The sea that, for some reason, used to come to Erio’s mind. I guess she cannot help but feel something about it, and if we go further down this road we’ll reach the hill where Erio and I went cycling on that terribly inclined slope back in April. We were so young and passionate back then… Well, I mean, it wasn’t that long ago, but looking back on it, we were so reckless that the thought of it made me shudder. If asked to do it again, we’d have to use a stuntman instead.

Well, no wonder people at school quietly whisper about me being a suicidal bastard. Though I’d respond with a wry chuckle, “Well, ha ha”, I had no particular regrets. But there was one thing that just kept crossing my mind.

After having lived its fullest at the bottom of the sea, will that bicycle truly be able to fly through the sky?

Our accommodation for our neighbourhood excursion was what they commonly call a ryokan, with a large tanuki statue at the right of the entrance and fish ink rubbings adorning the walls. It kept an extremely retro mood.

The atmosphere too was retro, and the exterior too looked withered. The ryokan seemed to have been constructed in a way that perfectly illustrated the difference between a building having some character and simply being a pile of building materials that looked outdated. Still, it could be forgiven due to the sound of the waves that could be heard in the background. The sea was a large, motherly creature and really sneaky. It’s fine, I guess.

The organiser completed the check-in and reception in front of the lobby, received a large amount of keys, and assigned our rooms. From then on until dinner, we were free to do as we pleased.

After a brief exchange, Meme-san, who was acting as the representative of the Touwa family, was handed a key and assigned a room number. There was a single key in the organiser’s hand.

“This is the room for the Touwa family. On the right, at the end of the corridor.”

“Okaaaay.”

As I watched that exchange from the sidelines, I wondered in silence, “Huh? Wait a minute!” Did this mean that the three of us, Meme-san, Erio and I, were going to stay in the same room? I mean, even if were are relatives, wasn’t this bad?

“Wheee Wheeeee! Whee Whee Whee Wheeeee! Pheep, pheep, pheep, pheeeeeep!”

In the end, Ryuushi-san, whose whistle sounded a bit hoarse as she used it as a warning signal, raised an objection about the room assignments. Erio flinched, shielded her blushed cheeks behind her palms, and hid behind Meme-san. That girl, always hiding behind something. “Hmmm?” Meme-san tilted her head.

“Squishy-Cheeky-chan, is something bothering you?”

She poked Ryuushi-san’s cheek with her finger. Hummm, how nice. That’s very nice.

“That kind of sleepover, I mean… I think it would put Niwa-kun in a critical situation!”

“His chastity, you mean?”

“Hey, what?”

Hoeee? Ryuushi-san tilted her head with that kind of expression. She lifted her palm and intently stared at it. She was probably reading the lines of her palm. “Hoeee?” Meme-san, don’t tilt your head just to try to look cute.

“Anyway, him being together with Touwa-san on that day, that place, that room, is absolutely out of the question.”

Ryuushi-san was making a scene. She stomped on the carpeted floor vigorously with an expression that seemed to say, “Ukiiii”. The organiser was taken aback by the commotion but simply said, “Well, next!” and began passing keys to the other travellers.

Maekawa-san wasn’t showing any interest. But she was grinning, the corners of her mouth pulled up towards her cheeks. Her expression clearly showed that she found extremely amusing Ryuushi-san’s flustered state. Ooi-san too was hiding her mouth with her hand while her eyes glimmered with mischievousness. It looked perfectly natural for them, as if it were their true unadulterated expression.

“So, no to the Eri-tan and Mako-kun set then?”

Meme-san placed her hands flat on Erio’s head and mine. She managed to pull away and dodge before I could strike. Shit.

“Rather, it looks like a case of ‘Danger: do not mix’.”

“W-why?”

Erio voiced her confusion and objections as she peeked her right eye from behind Meme-san’s arm. In response, Ryuushi-san rose both her arms and growled an “Ugaaa” in a threatening manner… It was as if the devil of cuteness were striking a bewitching pose, but once again, Erio darted and quickly hid. Aren’t the two of them actually enjoying themselves? Erio especially seemed delighted to be with a girl that acted like a friend.

“Hoh hoh? So you are fine with pairing the diabolical beauty Meme-san and the virgin Mako-kun together?”

“Hey, don’t use two expressions that normal people don’t say in the open.”

As I was about to grab the ends of her hair to pull them to make her behave herself, Meme-san reacted as if she had eyes in the back of her head and spun round. Her hair smoothly slid off my palm, and she snorted out a triumphant and derisive “Fuuuun” after spinning around with Erio. She was looking more and more like a youkai.

“So, Cheeky-chan, what do you suggest?”

In response to Meme-san, Ryuushi-san pointed her index finger at her.

It was directed at Erio who was secretly peeking at me while hiding behind her mother’s back.

“I shall take that child in!”

“Heh…”

I was a powerless cry of discontent, and it wasn’t clear who cried it.

“… So, this is how fate turns out to be.”

“This is the love nest I’ll be sharing with Mako-kun, in other words, our lovely square.”

“A den of misery, you mean? Yeah, yeah.”

Looks like I’m staying together with Meme-san. Hmm, well, I had a feeling things would turn out this way. No surprise, no laments, no trust. It’s like a spell. I tossed my bag at the wall and rotated my right shoulder that had been carrying the weight of it.

In the room opened with the key Meme-san received, there I stood. Meme-san too would stay there. Wasn’t this even more a case of “Danger: do not mix”? Or rather, Meme-san was far too dangerous to be left on her own.

The room featured a Japanese-style interior with tatami flooring. There was a tiny TV that might not work, a hanging scroll that had faded so much that the image was no longer recognisable, and yellow-green walls. On a low-legged table stood a notepad, a ballpoint pen, and a yellowed phone for internal calls. There was an AC unit, but it wasn’t running, so the air inside was thick and humid like the steam of freshly cooked rice. A faint scent reminiscent of incense was hanging in the air, like in a grandmother’s home. Two futons had been provided; that was the one and only saving grace.

In that room, the sense of excitement hovered at low altitude. The only thing that could send expectations soaring and turn things around with a home run was the view outside the window. I placed my hands on the window frame through which the sunlight came in and took a sweep of the eye over the coast.

It didn’t quite give me the same “Waah!” deep feeling as Ryuushi-san, but the sight of the blue-green water stretching before me was refreshing. At the very least, it was better than staring at the Touwa family’s garden from the second-floor window during the daytime. As for the night, well, Erio was there.

“It’s about time to register the verb memeru inside Mako-kun’s dictionary.”

“I already have enough synonyms for the word depression.”

I pressed against my aunt’s forehead as she was clinging to me, and I sighed. Come on, Eri-tan, help me out. It was only today that I realised that you are the perfect scapegoat.

Erio was taken to the room where Ryuushi-san was staying. It was almost a kidnapping. She sought help, crying, “Cousin, Mom,” but I simply waved at her as I looked upon them setting off on their journey.

I couldn’t ask for Ryuushi-san to take me in… Maybe I should have? Hey there, my inner self, you’re being a bit too bold there. Remain in the bounds of reason.

“But Meme-san, are you fine with that?”

“From my very first impression I have set my heart on you; please take care of meee.”

In the summer I turned seventeen, I came to the realisation that trying to have a serious conversation with my aunt while she puckered her lips and tried to suck on my upper arm with a “Mwaa” was a futile endeavour. If this is the standard for aunts, it looks like an aunt crisis might be looming.

“About Erio. She was kidnapped.”

“Isn’t it fiiiiine? Eri-tan made a friend she can have a sleepover with; it is seriously worthy of sekihan.”

“Isn’t that just sexual harassment?”

“Erio herself didn’t seem to dislike it, so it’s fine.”

For a moment, her smile was filled with maternal affection, which brought me to a halt. But only for a moment.

“As her mother, I’m happy and also sad. That’s why I need to suck on Mako-kun to make him evolve.”

She came charging forward, “Bam bam bam bam”, with both hands spread out, pursing her lips as if to ask for a kiss.

“Before you reach your perfect form, become an adult!”

What’s going on, Romcom Goodwill Ambassador? You’re only getting cosy with your aunt! If this is all I deserve, it makes me cry!

While wrestling with these kinds of thoughts and running around the room to escape Meme-san, I ended up working up a good sweat. I suppressed the urge to take a shower rather than go to the seaside and pressed my hand against my forehead to cool down.

Rather, why the hell was that forty-year-old sorting through the contents of her bag without batting an eyelid while humming to herself? I could only assume that she was collecting the vital energy or whatever that I shed while running away.

“Mako-kun, are you heading to the beach so you can have a blood overflow as you feast your eyes on Meme-tan wearing a swimsuit?”

“There are other reasons I’m going to the beach to have a nosebleed. First, I plan to head to the beach hut after changing clothes. I was thinking about eating lunch there.”

‘Huuum. Meme-tan too will be very busy being swept up in young people’s plans.”

“I think you’re the one manipulating young people’s plans with all your might like a hammer throw.”

Between the understanding of the fulcrum, the point of application, and the point of action, there were too many disparities. I won’t enquire anymore about whether Meme-san is young or not.

Meme-san, who had been rummaging through her bag, suddenly froze and turned her head to look back.

“But what are you going to do at the beach?”

“Huh? Well… Guess I’ll do something.”

Indeed, nothing immediately came to mind when I thought about what to do at the beach. Beach volley? No, we don’t have the numbers for that.

Well, guess I’ll find out once I’m there. Besides, for a young man there were plenty of things that could satisfy me just by looking at them, so just agonising about them before even going there wasn’t an option.

It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that the mysterious summer holidays were for the sake of such a moment.

“Well, it’s the sea.”

Bursting swimsuits, refreshing piercing swimsuits, swimsuits scorching us with intense heat!

… I got that wrong. Bursting flirtatious voices, a refreshing piercing blue sky, and a midsummer day scorching us with intense heat. It gave a sense of depth or the powder sand of the sandy beach. Beneath my feet, the sand warmed by the sun made it feel as if I were touching freshly prepared popcorn. Occasionally, my leg jerked as if reacting to the heat. Every time, I planted my feet firmly in the sand while maintaining my balance and straightened my back. And then, I would take a deep breath of the air that had wafted from across the sea.

It may not be the winter sea, but I felt like walking towards the horizon towards Papua New Guinea.

Waves, sandy beach, scorching heat! But I was unable to sit down. It appeared that the longing I harboured after having moved here from a landlocked prefecture hadn’t been tempered enough by the events of April to make me realise how fleeting reality was. With a tap-tap-tap, I kicked the sand to scatter these ever-renewed impulses. If I remained standing here doing nothing, I might end up shouting “Far away!” and charge straight at the waves rolling onto the beach. That was the kind of excitement I was feeling.

So let’s express this through words rather than any eccentric behaviour:

“It’s the seaaaaaaa!”

Blatant plagiarism. And yet, there was something about the sensation of not knowing who I was addressing this to that made it surprisingly addictive. Ryuushi-san was a master wordsmith, so I guess she’s good at knowing what makes things sound good.

For some reason, my back felt itchy when I stared intently at the sea. I looked back at the ryokan where I was staying. The fact that the back of the ryokan was right by the sea was a big plus. This was likely the lifeline of an otherwise unremarkable ryokan. I looked around the area. People, parasols, and the sound of the waves. I stood there as I lowered my eyelids and let the sunlight wash over my entire body. A mixture of exhilaration and tension coursed through, making my muscles tremble as if they were kneaded into stiffness.

I had returned to the seaside, the place I had visited by bicycle back in April while carrying Smakin Erio. Also, the place I came to in June to launch a plastic bottle rocket. So I’ve actually been coming here every couple of months.

I opened my eyelids and brushed my hand across my face. I felt a sensation as if particles of light were being brushed off.

The only moving things were the waves and Erio. In contrast to nighttime, when it was quiet, the seaside was filled with people during the weekend. It wasn’t exactly bursting with people, but it was just a bit too cramped to not enjoy a full sense of freedom. I spotted a few elderly people who had come along, but I was wondering if everyone else had arrived yet.

I peered in what seemed like beach huts to see if anyone else was there, but I didn’t stop any familiar faces… Ah, here they are. We hadn’t arranged to meet with them, but the Ooi-san’s family were inside having a meal. Ooi-san, her daughter, and her husband, were sitting side by side. They all wore swimsuits with a hoodie over it. Ooi-san was wearing the same red hat she wore earlier. All three had plates of yakisoba sauce on the table, and they were holding their noodles with their chopsticks and blowing on them to cool them down. It appears their family had a cat’s tongue.

I looked at Ooi-san’s husband, whom I had never really paid much attention to until now. He appeared to be in his late twenties, average in height and build. With sunglasses hanging on his head, he gave the feeling of a good-natured Onii-san.

Thinking about it, it was Ooi-san that their daughter really took after.

As I stood there by the entrance, their daughter looked up as if startled, with yakisoba sauce smeared around her mouth. She stared intently at me and stopped moving. When I lightly waved at her, she waved back her chopsticks as if on the brink of tears. Ugh, that girl isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t really know how to deal with small children. Erio too is kind of like that, at least it’s how I see it.

I turned my back on the beach hut’s entrance and stood on the sand, my arms crossed. It appears that I was the first to arrive at our meeting spot, maybe because I had run all the way from my ryokan room to the beach. I couldn’t spot Maekawa-san either, who had patted me on the shoulder as we headed towards our rooms, saying, “Today’s choice is a bit classic, but I hope you won’t be disappointed”. Come to think of it, was really safe for her to walk around the beach in summer? Her blood circulation was so bad that she would get dizzy simply from raising her arms, so it should be quite a problem for her. In a hard boiled movie, having to raise one’s hands while being held at gunpoint was a desperate situation, but in a different sense. She should better understand that about herself and make sure to take proper precautions against the sun.

And for some reason, Meme-san had left our room first without putting her swimsuit on. Was she plotting something? I tried to look for that adult-child who was the kind to kick a beach ball against the waves as special training or who would bury herself in the sand while shouting about a beauty excavation game, but I couldn’t spot her. How lonely.

“Ouch…”

I stroked my hair that was directly exposed to the sunlight and grimaced at the dazzling surface of the sea. As I stood in this sweltering heat, I took a look around as I wondered what the others were up to. A woman was lying face-down under a parasol; a father was building a sandcastle with his child; the heads of people were bobbing in the waves as they soaked in the sea for no particular reason… It felt odd. Strangely, I haven’t really done anything. There was nothing in particular that could only be done at sea, and the people who were simply floating on the water seemed to symbolise that.

It was nothing more than an extension of lazily resting on a sofa in the living room during the summer holidays. I had a feeling that something wasn’t quite right, but I couldn’t come up with specific suggestions as to what I was supposed to do.

What kind of thing do people do at the seaside in summer? Dive in? Shout out? Light fireworks?

“Did I keep you waiting, transfer student?”

A voice of salvation reached out to my loneliness. Exactly! I was no longer standing alone by the sea; I had a girl with me… Huh? Wait, a girl? I can’t actually make out its gender.

A long and slender green crocodile lumbered onto the sandy beach. You know, these inflatable things? Those you blow up and they float on the sea? Maekawa-san was clad in one of those and lumbering closer on two legs.

Having merged with a crocodile, Maekawa-san was attracting some attention, probably because people assumed it was part of a promotional event or maybe that she was a part-timer in a costume. But it was I, the person meeting with Maekawa-san, who seemed to be attracting strange looks. If there was a hole, would it be alright for me to fall into it?

“Are you disappointed because it is too conventional?”

asked shyly Maekawa-san, or should I say Wanikawa-san, her tail loudly slapping against the sandy beach. The way that person felt shame or not was unbelievable. A sense of shame on a totally different level from us ordinary people.

“I feel I’m about to collapse to my knees, albeit in a different sense,” I muttered as I turned my head to the side.

“Humm?”

“No, never mind.”

I’ll keep this a secret, but when she told me she would wear something classic, I was hoping to see her in a swimsuit. Ha ha ha, so that’s what she meant. Without fail, Destiny has a poor sense of direction. And absolutely never includes people’s opinions about the destination.

Well, I guess that if she tried to satisfy the demands of all of humanity, she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.

“What about the other two?”

Wanigawa-san looked around relentlessly. As always, her face was peeking out from between the mouth. I guess the saving grace is that the crocodile’s head wasn’t realistic and was fairly cute, like those that could be found in arcade games where they are smashed.

If someone was floating in the sea with a costume modelled after the real thing, they couldn’t complain if someone came along to get rid of them.

And rather than get too obsessive about her outfits, I think she should pay more attention to sun protection.

“Ryuushi-san and the others aren’t here yet. By the way, Meme-san seems to have disappeared somewhere.”

“Heh? Knowing her, I’ll just have to accept the fact that she might pop out suddenly from under the sand.”

“Wah ha ha.”

Maekawa-san too can say nice things. But I suppose anyone associated with Meme-san would naturally become like that. The only one who can completely accept her without any resistance is her daughter Erio.

“Hey, sorry for the delay!”

Behind me, I heard a voice that sounded like a sushi deliveryman’s, accompanied by the sound of two footsteps running on the sand. “Ooh!” I exclaimed, as I turned around as fast as I could, as if to cling to the light streaming in. On that sandy beach… were the figures of Smakin rolled inside a ryokan futon, and that of Ryuushi-san who was pushing her from behind while trotting. How did it turn out this way? To top it all off, Smakin was acting as a human shield that prevented me from seeing Ryuushi-san in her swimsuit. Hey, out of the way!

This time, there was no risk of confusing this for some kind of event: Smakin with her ryokan futon around her upper body was monopolising everyone’s summer gazes. She was being pushed and approaching in a straight line. Trot trot trot.

“Should we go there, Wanikawa-san?”

I was also trotting to attempt to escape. Taking Maekawa-san by the hand, I hurried toward the sea.

“Ah! Y-Yes.”

Maekawa-san whose reactions were oddly sluggish nodded vaguely. Her movements were a bit clunky, but it should be alright. It looked like her mascot suit had poor ventilation, so she was probably already struggling with the heat. Cooling her with seawater should fix this.

“Hey! You over there! Err, and you creature, too! You do not have the right to call a lawyer!”

“Mofumofuuu!”

She was definitely shouting something from inside her futon without grasping at the situation! Maybe she should change her name from Denpa-Onna to Futon-Onna? When I looked back, the scenery felt like something straight out of a summer ghost story B movie. I wasn’t seriously trying to run away, so futon + alpha-san easily caught up with me.

Then Ryuushi-san, who was wearing a light-blue hoodie, stepped in front of Smakin and placed her hands on her hips with an expression of indignation. The way she puffed her cheeks in anger, puff-puff, made it look like fans might suddenly appear to poke at them from both sides. These cheeks seemed to embody the very essence of Ryuushi-san’s appeal.

“Why did you run awaaay? If you bully Ryuuko-san too much, she might stray off from the right path and become the secret boss of a group of delinquents.”

“Eh? Does this mean I’m helping her get a huge promotion?”

“Mofu.”

I’ll just ignore that one. Then, at the same time as Ryuushi-san, we pointed at each other’s backs.

“”What’s that behind you?””

Immediately after, a silence of a few seconds followed. We then both chuckled a pointless “heh heh”.

“What, you ask? Why, it’s Wanigawa-san.”

“And this is Futon-Maki-Maki-san.”

“Why is she wrapped in a futon?”

“Well, she said she would wear it.”

“No, no, didn’t you help out?”

“She said it was a Touwa-san-style form of sun protection.”

As if to say “Exactly!” Smakin bent her waist forward. While she was at it, she added a “mofu”.

“I think anyone who tries to wrap their heads around that kind of thing has been fried by the sun.”

“How long are you going to hold on to that? *Chop*!”

Ryuushi-san stood forward and brought down her hand as a blade between Maekawa-san and me. Maekawa-san’s wrist that I had still been gripping without realising it, and my hand, were supposed to come apart. But Ryuushi-san’s hand-chop was weaker than expected and didn’t cut through. It stopped with a *twap*. “Why you little…” *twap* *twap* It didn’t hurt.

With a spirited “Haaaaa!” she tore off her hoodie and tossed it aside. She then unleashed a rain of chops with the battle cries of a post-apocalyptic warrior: “Ah ta ta ta ta ta ta!” With each swing the impact diminished and became weaker. I could ignore Ryuushi-san’s chops and let her go on my own, but for some reason, it was kind of fun. It was pleasant to look at, and this was good enough.

Why? Because Ryuushi-san after taking off her hoodie, was wearing a swimming suit! While Ryuushi-san was engrossed in swinging chops while shouting, “Wataaaah! Kieeeeeh” I was impolitely staring and admiring. Her swimsuit. Ryuushi-san herself. Her entire body.

Ryuushi-san was wearing an unadorned bikini, and her headgear had been updated to a straw hat with a ribbon. Hummm… they’re more ripe than those I imagined while reading erotic books!

As she swung her hand down in a karate-chop motion, her youth too was swaying. Her youth, or rather, to put it bluntly, her breasts. While her cheeks were certainly saggy, the rest of her body was quite something too. Though a fruitarian, she sure had nothing to disdain.

With every up-and-down gesture, I felt as if Youth Points were spilling out from the gaps of her swimming suit. As one could expect of the embodiment of youth, such an ample bosom! It was because there was a wall between them and me, making it impossible to directly worship them, which makes it actually feel like youth; what a strange thing. One’s sense of distance becomes poorer as one gets older. That’s why when people become adults, they are parted from their youth.

As I was staring, I let my guard drop, and with a “Nywaaah!” she noticed me. Ryuushi-san pulled back her hand as she jumped in surprise and covered her breasts, her face completely red with embarrassment.

Ryuushi-san pulled back her hand as she jumped in surprise and covered her breasts, her face completely red with embarrassment.

“I-It’s because I’m the sports-orientated type!”

“I-I see!”

I didn’t get it at all! But I was swept along by the course of events and ended up accepting. Or rather, I had no reason to argue. Is there a single man in this world who would dispute the theory that sports-orientated type = two-piece? Maybe only competition swimsuit maniacs? Come to think of it, I think a guy called Aihara, a classmate of mine back in middle school, was like that.

Well, since I was found out, I might as well open my hand. I let go of Maekawa-wan’s slender wrist and looked at her face, puzzled by her lack of reaction. Her entire body seemed to be wavering. Her eyes felt foggy and her eyelids heavy. “Are you alright?” the crocodile’s upper teeth wobbled up and down with a hum. But I couldn’t trust her.

After all, it looks like she’s been swallowed whole by a crocodile.

“Fu fu fu, I’m fine… gaooo. What’s the cry of a crocodile? GYAOOOO maybe?

“Wanigawa-san, your eyes are turning round and round, though.”

“That’s nothing important. But transfer student, your nipples are showing. Aren’t you ashamed at exposing them to the world?”

“Huh? Ah, well, I’m wearing a swimming suit, and I’m at the beach, so…”

To have this specifically being pointed out did make me feel a little embarrassed. I instinctively covered my chest with my hands.

It felt like Maekawa-san was shimmering in a heat haze, but I needed to turn and direct my attention to someone else first, someone who looked like she was about to succumb to fever. Rather, it looked like she was already half cooked. I firmly grabbed the knot of the futon. And then yanked it hard to the side.

“Mooofuuu.”

Erio spun round, shouting something similar to the “aaaareeeee?” that could be heard when a corrupt official unfastened a woman’s obi. After spinning round and round, the cord became loose, and Erio collapsed on the sandy beach. Aaaah, the ryokan futon was covered in sand. Had I known it would come to this, I would have brought my own futon in my luggage… though it wouldn’t have solved the problem.

“Hey, time to end up the Smakin.”

I peeled off the futon that was still wrapped around her body. Erio tumbled from the edge of the futon onto the sand while groaning a soft “ouch”, sending particles of light dancing from the impact and shifting drastically the nature of the attention surrounding us.

It was like peeling a husk of bamboo to reveal its beautiful core.

Once the floral-patterned ryokan futon was removed, Erio’s swimsuit was a one-piece. It was white with frills. Her long hair was tied on top of her head, maybe because she was afraid it would disturb her while swimming. A large number of particles were generated from a single point and remained there.

They drifted gently through the air to settle on Erio’s swimsuit, creating a unique pattern on the fabric. Light-blue particles flew diagonally like bubbles, creating an underwater feel against her porcelain-like skin and swimsuit. The sensation of looking up from beneath the water at the pale sea surface and the light piercing through it came flooding back. Combined with these transparent eyes that seemed to have lain hidden at the bottom of the deep waters untouched by anyone, the whole conveyed a strong sense of “isei”.

“Isei” as in “the opposite sex” and “another planet”. Also, “oddly pure”. Something too different from us.

Enveloped in the scent of a foreign land, maybe even a different world, that was completely at odds with the familiar scent of the local sea, which was itself an extension of the smell of a swimming pool, it was as if she alone was out of place, hurtling through a work of fiction.

Completely oblivious to the astonishment surrounding her, Erio sat up as if it was no big deal, fanned her red face and exhaled with a “Fuuu” as if she had accomplished something. She then shut her eyes, perhaps because the pouring sunlight was too bright.

“It’s hot.”

“Are those your only impressions? And, errr, brush the sand off.”

“’Kay”.

She complied obediently and patted and brushed the sand off her skin. At her side, Ryuushi-san was eyeing Erio with a sceptical stare with narrow eyes and a low “Hummmm” full of doubt. When she noticed that I was watching her, she lifted her head and let out a “Ugagaaaa”, a threatening behaviour that ultimately was simply a way of spreading cuteness. I jokingly moved my head back.

Having finished brushing off the sand, Erio adjusted her swimsuit in the places it dug into (*heartthrob*) and stepped towards me. She gazed at me with her characteristic innocent and childlike eyes. Even though her mannerisms were the same as usual, just the fact that her outfit, hairstyle, and the surroundings were different was enough to make my heart flutter; Erio sure was a sly one.

“Cousin.”

“W-what?”

“When you look at me, does it make you pant?”

With a bang, my heart turned to liquid and gushed out. It was also coming out of my nose, and it also felt like something hot was about to steam from my eyes. My lungs were burning, not with air but as if they were inhaling the pouring sunlight. It was hot. I coughed violently.

“What kind of question is that?!”

“When I bought my swimsuit, Mom said that Mako-kun would definitely do that.”

“Heey, now where’s that forty-year-old?!"

I’ll bury her! I’ll bury her where the waves reach just about face height! I looked around in a frenzy everywhere but for some reason I couldn’t find that person who was the very embodiment of self-assertion. Shit, was she hiding at the bottom of the ocean or something? Meme-san the merman! It feels perfectly right!

“Cousin, are you looking for something?”

“I’m looking for that mother of yours, who filled her daughter’s head with such nonsense!"

“Hum? She’s here. Over there.”

With a half-turn, Erio easily spotted her mother and pointed at her. When I looked in that direction, I saw the back of the forty-year-old, crouching as if to hide in the shadow of a plain parasol. I don’t know when, but she had changed into her swimming suit. Instead of planting the gigantic parasol in the sand, she held it at an angle and moved across the beach, walking sideways like a crab with a rustling sound.

“Sorry, wait for me a minute”, I said before darting out between Ryuushi-san and Erio as I headed straight for Meme-san. Even as I stood next to her, Meme-san kept her head down and wouldn’t look up at me. From atop, as I looked down at her head, her long hair was hanging down to form a figure resembling that of an octopus washed ashore.

“Hey you… There’s a lot I have to say, but what the hell is that strange behaviour?”

Knowing her, I half-expected her to be baking and selling pies with dubious claims that they could restore psychic powers. I mean, her crab impersonation already made her stand out quite a bit from the rest of the tourists.

“Mako-kun, is it a sad thing to become an adult?…”

“And you think you’re an adult?” her age aside.

“You know, adults have to wage war against nature in this manner. Mmmm, I wonder if the angle of the sunlight hasn’t shifted a bit?”

She adjusted the angle of her parasol while groaning, “Ouch, ouch, ouch,” as the lactic acid was building up in her arm. Ah, so that’s what it’s all about. Because of her age, she’s worried about UV rays. That’s why she’s tilting her parasol in a desperate attempt to block out the summer sun. I think she’d better stay in the ryokan than go to such lengths just to go on the beach during the day.

“The moment my skin is exposed to the scorching heat, the illusion of Meme-chin just melts away.”

“Doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, though,” I mumbled. My voice must have drowned in the sound of the waves.

“That’s why I’ll spend the rest of my life being called Meme-chin the clam-digger. Sakusaku.”

After stabilising the angle of the parasol, Meme-san held the pole in place by sandwiching it between her thighs and an arm. She then took out a kid shovel for sand digging, the king one might bring from home, and casually dug in the sand.

“I don’t think any shellfish live here, though.”

Since responding was a hassle, I ended up repeating similar lines.

“In that case, I wonder if I could dig your youth instead… Geh he he, sakusaku.”

Hummmm, that’s a serious illness. I felt sorry for her, or rather, concerned about her, but Meme-san then paused her rapid mouvements and beckoned me over with a quick and repeated flick of her finger moving towards herself.

“Mako-kun, crouch down a bit.”

“Haah.”

Though I had doubts, I didn’t give it much thought and knelt at Meme-san’s side, who then slid my arm under her bust with a “Torya!” and a “Waah!” to hoist it upwards, in order to deliberately show off her swimsuit and her exacerbated cleavage. Maybe because it was such a surprise attack, and because I was staring at them from such a close distance, half my mind went completely blank. I stepped back, almost falling on my butt.

“Aaah, I feel a bit better now. From your reaction, it feels like I slurped some of Mako-kun’s youth.”

“H-hey!”

I felt embarrassed about how flustered and awkward the swimsuit and cleavage of a person who walked sideways like a crab made me feel. My cheeks were painfully hot. Well, the heat itself was an external cause brought in by the summer sun.

“Say, say, Mako-kun.”

“What?”

“‘Young Meme-tan’ can be shortened to ‘Wakame-tan’, right?”

I don’t care! I moved away from Meme, kicking up sand with loud boom, boom, boom. How strange, I was supposed to be angry, but for some reason I’m running away even more desperately than I did on the way here. This wasn’t supposed to turn like this.

I returned to Erio and the other girls. Ryuushi-san was touching Maekawa-san’s crocodile skin (is that even the right term?) while asking, “Where do you buy these things?” “Mmm, online shopping and stuff I get from my part-time jobs,” answered Maekawa-san in a mumble, her face still as red as pickled ginger. While listening to that exchange from a distance, I rested my hands on my knees as I caught my breath. Along the way, Erio leaned ion to look closely at my face, her finger resting against her lower lip. It was rare for her to do so, but for some reason she was smiling and looking happy.

“Cousin, you lost again against Mom.”

“Shut up.”

“Did Mom also make you pant?”

“Why you… there are other things you need to learn first!”

“Ubya bya bya!”

I pulled on both her cheeks to shut her up. Ooh, they sure can stretch. Eri-tan was still a beautiful girl, even when her face widens—err, well, anyway… Her face had the charming and endearing allure of a kagami mochi. That was that.

“Deeefense, deeefense!”

“Nwaaah.”

Ryuushi-san darted from the side. With a cry, she spread her arms and legs wide and planted herself firmly between Erio and me. But that cry of hers, the one used by substitutes, was Ryuushi-san fine with it?

“Beep beep, no stretching allowed!”

“Ryuushi-san, you were also doing it before we got on the bus.”

“I’m extra-judicial, so it’s OK! But Niwa-kun, you’re a no-go! This summer, I’m gonna crack down on your moral behaviour without any mercy. Because cracking down is what Ryuuko-san does, riiiight?”

“This summer is almost over, though.”

“In that case, I’m ready to make a last stand until next year!”

As always, she was the kind of person who would make impromptu and unique remarks. But next year, huh? I wonder if we’ll be that close in one year. After all, the classes will be reshuffled when we become third-year students. Suddenly, the memory of “the girl”, who had gradually become a figure of the distance past, flashed through my mind. I had no regrets, but it still left a bit of a bitter taste.

“… So, you’d better put that futon in order.”

I pointed to the futon that was left lying on the sandy beach. With a “piii”, Erio rose a hand, pressing it against her ear.

“I’ll just wear it, problem solved.” “No, you won’t. You’re bringing it back, alright?” “Ugh…” With a look of resentment, Erio clutched the futon and ran towards the ryokan. Of course, the way she runs and the sound of her footsteps were unmistakable. She was well-balanced.

“Are we heading for the beach house first?”

“Hum, I think we should wait for Touwa-san.”

Ryuushi-san made that model-student-like remark, glancing over me from time to time as if to gauge my reactions. That’s fine and dandy, but Maekawa-san was the one I was worried about. I looked at her and decided it was better to move to the shade than leave her standing in the blazing sun. Then, noticing my gaze, Maekawa-san rose her fist saying “Don’t worry about meeee” even though her legs were wobbling. A crocodile. How surreal.

“Hey, hey, you know…”

Ryuushi-san pulled on my upper arm. The fact that I wasn’t wearing clothes didn’t mean that she had to go out of her way to pinch my flesh. When I turned around asking, “What?”, Ryuushi-san was sitting down, her legs crossed, while tracing a spiral in the sand with her finger. She was mumbling, her lips slightly trembling, hiding her weak eyes in the shadow of her straw hat.

“Niwa-kun, I feel like you might be misunderstanding things, but it’s not like I hate Touwa-san or anything.”

“Ah well, you were having such a friendly fight on your way here.”

Erio had indulged herself in pulling both of Ryuushi-san’s cheeks. How nice it must be to be able to casually pinch someone of the same sex. Unless I’m in such a state that my head is practically boiling from heat and frustration, my fingers would never reach that place.

“But she’s not your cup of tea?”

As I pointed that out, Ryuushi-san recoiled with a “Ugh!” And then, Maekawa-san groaned a “Uuu” but that is irrelevant. “Oh dear,” I muttered as I moved behind Maekawa-san. This should do it.

“Maybe sooo, maybe noooot.”

“… Ah well, I get it.”

As Ryuushi-san herself earlier mentioned, getting involved with Erio involved certain risks. It was a position a bit tricky to be in. I pretty much gave up the moment Hanazawa-san and Nakajima noticed me.

“But, but, you know, I don’t want to be seen as a bad girl or a petty girl… mumblemumble. Uwaaa, so that’s the reasoooon? Nuwaaan nuooooo, nugiiiii.”

She began to agonise all on her own, clutching her head and bending over as if she were doing squats. While inconsiderate of me, it was once again a feast for my eyes. Ryuushi-san’s vulnerable part is so dazzling. I decided to savour her anguish until Erio returns. She was trying not to show her troubles, repeatedly moving up and down in a twisting and undulating motion.

A few minutes later, Erio came running back, both arms outstretched horizontally. She wasn’t rolled in a futon and was truly empty-handed. I nodded with a “Good”. I also glanced in the direction Meme-san was. Huh, she was no longer under the parasol. Did she melt away as she said she would? Still, it feels like she’ll make a comeback, though.

“I finished tidying up.”

“Yeah, yeah, good girl, good girl.”

She had reported that with a hint of pride, so I casually responded with a word of praise and stroke her hair. Erio had a tickling smile spreading across her lips and let herself be patted. Despite being exposed to intense light, Erio’s hair maintained a constant temperature. A pleasant feeling of coolness spread to my palm, as if I were touching a soft fabric that had remained in the shade. And then, Erio’s particles covered the back of my hand.

“Ah, she’s going to crack down on me for my morals again,” I thought, as I braced myself, but Ryuushi-san, who had been agonising, unexpectedly rose her hand. She was standing, her arm outstretched even straighter and more upright than Erio earlier.

“I’ve finally eradicated the bad girl. From now on I am the lovely Ryuuko-san.”

Well, she was lovely to begin with, or rather, she fell in the cute category. Well, anyway, she’s good-looking.

“Well, should we go then?” “Yessss” “Yeah” “Hum” All three responded in their own way, and on our merry way we went.

While there were other stalls, we naturally headed for the beach hut where the Ooi family had been eating earlier.

It was a prefabricated structure that looked like a beach hut or some seaside shack. We entered in single file. Come to think of it, I think I remember lining up like this when Ryuushi-san and the others came to my house before. Why did the four of us have this habit of moving in a single file whenever we are together? By the way, Maekawa-san was at the fore. A ridiculously fragile vanguard. If someone were to attack, she’d likely let her guard down.

“Welcome,” greeted a tanned man who seemed to be a part-timer. He was sporting a goatee and gave me the impression of being a university student surfer. He was visibly intimidated by Wanikawa-san who was our lead, and was unfriendly with me, who was right behind, and his previously dull eyes lit up when he looked at the two who were closing the march. What an easy-to-read man.

“Welcome,” he greeted once again cheerfully at Erio and Ryuushi-san. Erio flinched and shrugged her shoulders and then pressed herself against my back as she used me as her shield. Ryuushi-san, visibly bewildered, gave a slight nod and a “Hello”. The surfer guy tugged my hand and said, “Wait a second,” and led me to a corner of the shop. Before I could crack a joke like “Oh? So I’m your first choice?” his arm was draped around my shoulder.

“Which one is your girlfriend? I’d rather not mess with another guy’s girlfriend, you see.”

He was asking me for confirmation in an over-familiar tone. Before brushing his arm aside I glanced at the faces of the three girls one after the other… Yeah, that was probably the right answer.

“All of them.”

The surfer guy was taken aback. But he grinned and slapped me on the back, probably thinking I was joking.

“Oh, come on.”

“No, I’m serious. We’re from a place that practises polygamy and came here as tourists.”

I answered, feigning composure. Deep inside I was a little worried about this older guy confronting me about it. The thought of him trying to check this out with the three girls was making me break out into a cold sweat. If he asked them about it, they would lose their minds each in their own way. And some were already light-headed from the heat.

“Well, should I try to ask them directly?”

Hey, surfer guy. That’s a smart move. Before I could come up with an excuse to stop him, he stepped casually in front of the three girls. The surfer guy appeared to have saved his main target for last since he started with Maekawa-san. If he didn’t see the real Maekawa-san beneath her crocodile costume, then he clearly lacks a keen eye. Anyway, I watched the scene with battered breath as I observed how she would react.

“Say, are you this guy’s girlfriend?”

“Huuuh?” “W-what’s that?!” It was Ryuushi-san who was standing next to her who had the most dramatic reaction.

Maybe triggered by her voice, Maekawa-san who had been zoning out until then, snapped to attention. I seized that occasion to make an O sign with my fingers behind the guy’s back. Quick to the uptake, Maekawa-san saw it in the corner of her eye and nodded.

“Yes, I am. We’re super lover-dovey.”

“Ueeeeh!”

Ryuushi-san was jumping so high she almost hit the ceiling, exposing our lie in an instant. That’s just what a natural airhead unable to add 2 and 2 together will do! Well, in that case let’s resort to brute force. I slipped past the surfer guy and grabbed the hands of all three girls at once. And I then came face to face with the surfer guy.

“Anyway, they’re all mine, and I won’t give them away. If you’re starved for female company, you can go and comfort the clam-digging youkai that comes by the beach. That will be all; we’ll now have our lunch here.”

After making this proclamation in a rush, I pulled out a chair from under a nearby table. “There, take a seat.” “W-w-what did you mean by that, Niwa-kun?!” “Nothing, it was just a lie,” “Eeeh! Why would you say that kind of lieeeee!” “Yup, yup, let’s sit down for now,” Ah, how hectic. Was I a nanny or something?

I managed to get us all seated after calming down the agitated Ryuushi-san. Finally, with a moment to look around, I observed the simple interior. The surfer guy didn’t appear to have given up and was still watching us. I ignored him. Sitting next to me, Erio was also hiding her face behind the cardboard menu to block out his gaze.

Still, shade or no shade, it was sweltering. It felt as if the sunlight hitting the floor had sprouted limbs and was stomping all around the place as an oppressive and unnecessary heat was washing all over us in waves.

Inside the shop sat a shovel with a sign that read “Why not bury a friend along with your memories?” Apparently, the rental was for free, but who would actually go through the trouble of burying a person? A body disposer, perhaps?

“Alright, what’s your order?”

The surfer guy came over to take our order with a large grin. Ignoring his smile, I recalled Ooi-san and her family and ordered, “Yakisoba”. The other three followed suit with “Then, a yakisoba too”. Ryuushi-san was the only one to add “with a large portion of cabbage” even though the portion of cabbage usually outweighed that of the noodles anyway. The surfer guy took our orders in high spirits and flashed an overly intense and beaming smile at Erio and Ryuushi-san. Erio hid her face again while Ryuushi-san didn’t even seem to notice his gaze.

She glared at me with a “Uuuh uuh” as if to bite. Feeling embarrassed, I looked away and noticed a change among the patrons in the shop: Ooi-san’s family was gone.

“Niwa-kun, you idioooot. You’re the kind of person who’d take Ryuuko-san’s heart for granted, aren’t youuuu?”

“W-what are you talking about?”

“If I hadn’t done my warm-up exercises, I might have had a heart attack, honestlyyy.”

She pouted with huffs and puffs. I took my eyes off her and abruptly changed the subject.

“Once we’ve eaten our yakisoba, what should we do?”

As I asked that question after the surfer guy walked away, Ryuushi-san furrowed her brows and thoughtfully hummed, “Hmmm”. In the meanwhile, Erio was cupping her glass with both hands and, with an expressionless face, suggested:

“A race in the sea.”

“All of us?”

“’Kay”.

“Splash-splash, Ryuuko-san. Kyaa kyaa, I’m now at the speed of sound, Niwa-kun. So he caught up with meeee? Gwahahahaaaaa, splashy-splash… Hummmm, I have a feeling this is going to be surprisingly passionate. Looks like fun.”

“No, no, don’t get any ideas that feel like a desperate attempt to boost the ratings of a shounen manga.”

“But if I start splashing a whatchamacallit-wave, your face will get all smushed, Niwa-kun, riiiight? Besides, Ryuuko-san is, how should I say this? An adult.”

interjected Ryuushi-san, calling out the blatant lie. Sensing the negative reception to her suggestion, Erio crossed her arms and grunted, “Mmm”. I wonder what would constitute the perfect way to liven up things at a summer beach.

“Then, a sand tossing contest?”

“Can’t you get away from the idea of throwing stuff at people?”

“Hey, hey, you youngsters. Why not lend an old man an ear for a bit?”

A raspy voice called out to us right as we were hurling our heads together. Our attention, which had been focused on our table, drifted away as if following the grain of the wood. We slowly looked up.

“You guys seem to have a lot of energy and youth to burn, so I’d like for you to try some chanbara.”

Standing there was an elderly man whose appearance matched the hoarseness of his voice. With the sun on his back, it was difficult to make out his face and clothes. He looked like a silhouette burnt by the sunlight. Before my eyes could adjust, one of us reacted:

“Ah!”

Erio sprung from her chair with a cry of surprise that was completely out of character for her. The gazes of the other customers, the surfer guy, and the middle-aged woman at the counter all converged on Erio. Oblivious to the attention, she kept her eyes focused on the elderly man.

“Oh, if it’s not that alien imitator?”

The old man squinted as he calmly responded to her shock. Ryuushi-san and I exchanged glances. We shook our heads to signal something, but we had no idea what. We then looked at Maekawa-san. She wasn’t watching us or Erio and was instead staring intently at something the elderly man was holding. As his position slightly shifted, the shadow cast by the light over the elderly man was lifted. His full figure was laid bare.

The first impression was rather plain and lacklustre, not the kind of person you’d expect Erio to know. He wore a hat that looked like a layer of clothes thrown haphazardly on his head, as well as an aloha shirt. Although it was the first time I saw a grey aloha shirt. He also wore dull-coloured shorts and rubber sandals. There wasn’t a single trace about him that was alien.

In his hand, he was clutching a rod-like object that seemed too flimsy to use as a walking stick… a katana made with a blue cloth?

“I was wondering how you were doing, but you look lively enough. Is that your friend? Boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

He pointed his katana at Maekawa-san, then me, then Ryuushi-san. Erio honestly and vigorously shook her head three times. As we looked at her, she hesitantly explained what her relationship with that elderly man was. As she spoke, her gaze drifted past him to fix on the sea instead.

“When I was floating on the sea, he was the first to find me.”

S-so that person is… For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. The elderly man nodded in agreement. “Oh, oh!” His face took on a profoundly nostalgic expression as he recalled the past, while in contrast, Erio’s face turned sombre. I couldn’t tell whether he noticed it and chose to ignore it, but he simply told us the reason for him talking to us in a cheerful tone:

“Anyway, how about some chanbara? Let us celebrate this chance encounter, this astronomically low odd, with a little chanbara. Young people + summer + sea + chanbara. With that, even if the summer has been nothing but a string of bad luck, it will probably even things out, right? I’ll lend you the gear for free.”

“Chanbara? With this?”

I pointed at the katana the old man was holding. He nodded happily, “Yup, yup”.

“We’re holding a sports chanbara event here tomorrow; why not participate? There’s a price for the winner. Are you coming back to the beach tomorrow? Weeell, I’m sure you will.”

As he made his pitch, he held out the sports katana. On a whim, I grabbed it. The blade seemed to be about sixty centimetres long. I firmly gripped the hilt and swung it to give it a try. It didn't give me any feeling of nostalgia, probably because chanbara wasn’t a trend when I was a kid. Back then, it was the peak of hand-base.

On the other hand, some people did feel that nostalgia.

“Sports chanbaraaaa, brings back memoriiiiies.”

Ryuushi-san leaned in from the side and poked at the blue air-filled blade with her finger. Her finger easily made a dent in the blade. It reminded me of when I poked Ryuushi-san’s cheek.

I looked to the side and noticed a flyer for the old man’s event posted on one of the shack's pillars. It looked like a printed copy of a handwritten original, and the paper filled with crooked characters reminded me of the handouts we used in elementary school.

“Ryuushi-san, you’ve done it before?”

“Yeah, I did some occasionally in PE classes in elementary school. And I told ya I’m Ryuuko. Niwa-kun, you never did any?”

“Humm, no, I didn’t. We did have kendo in middle school, though.”

During the winter we would wear mouldy protective gear over our tracksuits and swing a bamboo sword… Every time we would slide our feet, it would hurt like hell because we were barefooted. Besides, it appears that she naturally slips “yacchuuni” in her conversations. What a pitiful person. For some reason this is what I think of her. I felt that if I started to call her “Ryuuko-san” the pleasant atmosphere between us would change for the worse.

Besides, isn’t “yachuuni” the very kind of individuality that Ryuushi-san craved for? Even though she herself was reluctant to admit it.

“Yeees! Yeees! I’ll also do it!”

Meme-san had appeared behind us before we knew it and rose her hand while hopping up and down. Even when she’s feeling down, it appears that her knack for popping out of nowhere remained unchanged. And she gets unnaturally energetic once in the shade.

“Oh? So that aunty… er, I mean this young lady wants to join too?”

Even for a sales pitch, that was quite a stretch, old man. His throat muscles were straining. They seemed to know each other. “Thank you for last year,” said Meme-san with a bow. “Oh, oh.” The old man nodded magnanimously.

“There, Meme-chin wants to participate too.”

“Why are you telling me this? I don’t really care, you know.”

But didn’t she say that she would melt in the Sun?

“Fuu fuu, in my childhood, I used to be called the Heisei era Vagabond.”

“Meme-san, when you were a child, that wasn’t serialised yet.”

“Oooh, Mako-kun, you’re always so nitpicky.”

She gave me a playful jab in the ribs. Pointing out that she was actually born in the Showa era would be pointless. Such an inconvenient fact would never reach Meme-san’s ears. After all, she’s the kind of person who’d answer the phone by shamelessly declaring, “Yes, hello, this is Meme-tan, twenty years old”. “Hello” my foot! The only “hello” she’s answering to is the “hello?” inside her head.

“Alright, the aunty… I mean, the young lady is joining too, five participations in one go. That’s great.”

The elderly man’s face broke into a grin as he jotted the number of participants in his notebook, as if he suddenly acquired new toys for a collection. Before I could even object to the fact that we hadn’t even agreed to join yet, he laid down five flyers with the meeting time and place and handed us to sports chanbara katanas, “Here you go”. And then with a cheerful “See you tomorrow,” he let the beach shack, conveniently ignoring the fact that he hadn’t confirmed our participation.

We gave a polite nod towards the elderly man, and Erio and Meme-san deeply bowed. I wondered if I should also bow, but as I hesitated, he wandered off towards the beach. He was apparently trying to recruit more people by thrusting flyers at a group of youngsters walking across the sand. Hold an event, draw a crowd, and rack up some profits in the beach shack… I guess that was his plan.

“Are we all going to participate tomorrow?”

It looked like Maekawa-san would collapse “Waaah” just from raising a sword and shouting “Yaaah”. Meme-san raised her hand, “Yeees! Yeees!”, while Erio just nodded, “Kay”. Ryuushi-san added, “I love that kind of thing; I’m all for iiiiit”. Maekawa-san said, “Weeeell, I’ll try”. She seemed indifferent to the whole thing.

“And you Niwa-kun?”

“Humm… If you’re all going, I guess I will too.”

“Alright, everyone, we’ll all target Mako-kun.”

“I’ll tell your brother that his younger sister is bullying me.”

Good grief. Guess I allowed myself to be swept along. Nothing new there. Besides, boys do like chanbara. Just gripping a flimsy toy is enough to make their heart race.

The yakisoba quickly arrived after that. Considering the speed with which it arrived, it was probably a pre-cooked batch reheated before we even ordered. The surfer guy grinned, “Sorry for the delay,” and set down four plates. Among them, the plate placed in front of Ryuushi-san was clearly a different kind of dish.

“Whoah! There’s really a lot of cabbaaaage.”

Ryuushi-san looked at the plate piled high with cabbage and reacted with an expression that made it difficult to tell if it was deep emotion or amazement.

“I mean, isn’t that just cabbage stir-fried in sauce?”

“Ryuushi or something, do you like vegetables?”

asked Erio, peering at Ryuushi-san’s face. Ryuushi-san looked a bit flustered as she was talked to but recited her usual line. On a side note, Meme-san had once again vanished from the beach shack without a word. She was probably out on the sand carrying her parasol and scuttling sideways like a crab.

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. I like them, so what?”

“There, take mine.”

Erio picked up the cabbage from her plate with chopsticks and deftly transferred it onto Ryuushi-san’s. Ryuushi-san had an ambivalent expression, partly because of the extra cabbage, partly because of Erio’s hand-me-downs. She glanced at me, and we exchanged a smile with a unique and unspoken rapport.

“T-thank youuuu.”

“’Kay”.

Erio looked rather pleased with herself. Even though the amount of yakisoba in her own plate had been cut in half.

Maekawa-san sat in a daze, moving her chopsticks mechanically, her gaze unfocused and not really on her plate as she lifted the noodles and pieces of fried cabbage to her mouth. The red of her face had barely subsided, and she wasn’t sweating. I wonder if she’s really fine.

Once we finished our meal in that awkward atmosphere, we paid the bill in a hurry as if to escape from the surfer guy and headed for the beach. It was troubling not to have Meme-san around in a crucial situation like this. I couldn’t make use of the situation by foisting Meme-san on the surfer guy to cover our escape.

Maekawa-san sat in a daze, moving her chopsticks mechanically, her gaze unfocused and not really on her plate as she lifted the noodles and pieces of fried cabbage to her mouth.

But panicking like that was a mistake. My fears were about to become a reality.

I think she probably reached her limit a while ago.

The moment we stepped on the beach and the sunlight streamed into the crocodile’s gaping maw, Maekawa-san let out a low groan, “Aaawww,” and began to collapse. Thankfully, I had been standing right behind her, anticipating her fall. I caught Maekawa-san’s back as she tipped over. I dug my fingers in the sand and braced myself to receive her full weight, but Maekawa-san was a lot lighter than I expected, and I almost shoved her forward by mistake. I hurried to grab her arms and pull her back.

“Wah wah wha, Maekawa-san looks like a boiled octopus. Even though she’s a crocodiiiile!”

Ryuushi-san checked in her crocodile suit with an expression of alarm. I took a look myself. Ah, that was bad.

“We need to get her back to her room.”

She was dizzy and groaning, “Uhh uhh,” in distress. She had fainted during the principal’s long speech too at the end-of-term ceremony, but this time was a bit better. At that time, she had just toppled over, unable to break her fall, and people around her had been horrified. And then, two members of the health committee had taken her to the infirmary, one supporting her head, the other her legs.

“Should I help carry her?”

Erio tilted her head as she lifted one of Maekawa-san’s legs. Waaah, looking at them up close like that, she really had some long legs. No wonder she brags about her model-like figure and the compliments she gets at the hairdresser or that she gets others to say the same.

“No, it's fine; I can carry her on my own. You girls can go enjoy the summer beach to your fill.”

She was light enough that I could easily carry her on my back. Whoops. Her crocodile suit made it a bit awkward, but I managed to stabilise her by slipping my arms under her thighs. The crocodile’s lower jaw cast a shadow over my head.

“I think we should come along toooo.”

“Aah… I’m fine. No need to make a big fuss about it. It happens all the time.”

Maekawa-san managed to squeeze out these words to Ryuushi-san from deep within her crocodile costume. “You sure?” asked Ryuushi-san with a worried expression, but she ended up convinced once Maekawa-san and the crocodile bobbed their heads up and down vigorously.

“Then, I’ll do as he said and enjoy the beach to my fill… Hummmmm, to my fill? How do you enjoy things to the full?”

Ryuushi-san clutched her head in thought. Indeed, I myself had no idea what to do at the beach either. A bit self-concious about sharing such worries, I ran off towards the ryokan.

“I’m sorry, transfer student.”

Her words of gratitude were said in a slurry and gooey voice as if they were melting from the heat. “You’re welcome,” I replied, and added, “But I feel this is going to become a regular thing”. Maekawa-san collapses; I save her. Give it enough time, and it could become a classic routine. Maekawa-san let her body go limp, as if her tension had melted away, so I readjusted her weight on my back and set off, kicking the sand as I advanced in long and brisk strides.

From an exterior perspective, this looks more like I’m a poacher than a kidnapper, I thought with a sigh.

The room where Maekawa-san’s family was staying was stiflingly hot, but her parents were nowhere to be seen. I thought about setting up a futon… ah, she won’t need one. Standing in the centre of the room under the unlit lamp, I lowered Maekawa-san from my back. Once I laid her down and turned on the AC, I told her, “You you need an ice pack?” Her flushed face shook weakly from side to side, her eyes closed. But she looked really pitiful. I felt I should at least put a wet towel on her forehead. So I stepped into the corridor, closing the door behind me. I ran towards the lobby. I wanted to inform Maekawa-san’s parents, but I had no idea how to contact them.

I explained the situation to a female staff member in the lobby who was sitting and massaging her feet out of boredom. “That’s awful.” Her answer was delivered in a flat and robotic tone that made me a bit worried, but she acted quickly. She filled an aluminium basin with cold water and gathered a few towels. She even took out a green electric fan from the back.

“Thank you, you’re very helpful.”

“Please come visit our ryokan again next year.”

She delivered that sales pitch with a deadpan expression. I took the basin; she took the fan, and we carried the supplies to the room.

She made no mention of the bright red crocodile that was lying on its back and simply plugged in the fan and left. But a few seconds after setting into the hallway, she came back.

Peeking half her face through the opened door, she grinned.

“If it’s a heatstroke… you’d better take off her clothes, or rather, that costume.”

Having delivered that parting recommendation she finally left… I guess I should be grateful she didn’t say something like “Looks like you had some fun last night,” which would have made the situation a lot more awkward. Still, well, her advice was sound.

The AC wasn’t doing much, just blowing out lukewarm air. Though it did make a racket clak clak clak. I set the electric fan to medium and aimed it at Maekawa-san. Feeling the breeze on her cheeks, she opened her eyes maybe because it tickled. Her gaze alternated between the fan and myself.

“… Transfer student, are you unexpectedly good at taking care of people?”

She mumbled, her flushed vermilion lips moving sluggishly. As I thought about Erio I responded, “Perhaps”. I soaked the towel in the cold water of the basin and wrung it out. Having shed the excess of moisture, I placed it on Maekawa-san’s forehead. I carefully moved aside the crocodile’s mouth and the hair covering her brows. Gosh, what a strangely complicated process this was.

“Uh… It’s wet…”

Maekawa-san’s tense expression went slack. As she relaxed, her unfocused eyes began to clear up. But she really is the type that doesn’t sweat much; no wonder the heat just built up in her.

The towel was placed, and the old-fashioned fan was running. The AC was also going clak clak clak. Now, what is left is… the crocodile, I guess? I sat beside Maekawa-san and pointed at her head.

“I was told it would be better to remove the crocodile suit. And how is your anaemia doing?”

Maekawa-san shook her head vigorously from side to side. Whether it was a forceful motion of renewed energy or sheer seriousness, I couldn’t tell. After that, she slightly nodded in response to the second question. Hummm, I did indeed feel a momentary thrill at the thought of undressing a girl(?) but since it was just a crocodile costume, it was probably no different than dealing with Erio’s futon. But why was she so opposed to it? And was it alright for her to shake her head like that?

“Don’t tell me you aren’t wearing anything under it?”

Maekawa-san froze and held her breath as she stared at the ceiling. After a few seconds, she shook her head vigorously from side to side. In that case, it should be fine for me to remove her clothes, right? No, it’s not that I wanted to undress her; rather, it’s all out of consideration for Maekawa-san… or so I’d like to believe.

“Maekawa-san, should I try to find your parents and bring them over? Ah, wouldn’t it be faster to call them on their mobile phone?”

Maekawa-san shook her head again. Her head bobbed back and forth like one of those papier-mâché tiger toys. As I asked, “Why?” I adjusted the towel on her forehead which had slipped out from her movements. Maekawa-san’s eyes darted to the side.

“If my parents find out about this, they’ll get mad at me and say ‘You’ve dressed up in something stupid again’.”

“… Ha ha.”

“That’s not something to laugh at, transfer student.”

“No, I mean, Maekawa-san, I just realised you had a childish side too.”

Among the girl trio (can I call it that way?) with Erio and Ryuushi-san, she was the most mature. Both in appearance and personality. That such a person would show some small vulnerabilities was heartwarming, and I held a certain fondness for them.

And children filled with flaws come to feel a sense of affinity towards those they perceive as adults.

“… As I said, that’s nothing to laugh about.”

grumbled Maekawa-san, her voice uncertain as if muttering in her sleep. She was an adorable crocodile.

“But if I can’t contact your parents, then I’m the one who’ll have to remove that crocodile suit, right?”

As I tentatively asked, she didn’t shake or nod her head. She simply lowered her eyelids and let the breeze from the fan and AC wash over her body, her redness fading a bit. Taking this as consent, I peeled off her crocodile skin (a misleading expression) with a loud “riiip”… She had no clothes under it. Or to be more precise, under her crocodile costume, she wasn’t wearing her clothes but a tight-fitting swimsuit. A standard school swimsuit.

I see, so she did bring a swimsuit after all?… But why the crocodile suit? What a waste.

“I wish you wouldn’t stare at me so hard…”

Maekawa-san closed her eyes and pouted her lips with a look of reproach. Probably because she was feeling weak, she wasn’t being her usual self, and her childish side was coming to the surface. I find that Maekawa-san to be quite charming too.

“”You feel embarrassed, but… weren’t you more embarrassed by the crocodile suit?”

“Why should I be?”

“Err, why? Hum… Ah, maybe you don’t like swimming suits? But then you wouldn’t wear one.”

“… Swimming suits are embarrassing. The amount of skin exposed isn’t much different from underwear.”

As she twisted her body and tugged at the swimsuit fabric, Maekawa-san explained shyly why she was reluctant to take the crocodile suit off. In that case, could that fresh flush on her cheeks come from something else than just the heat?

“……”

“W-what? You’re all quiet.”

“Nothing. Maekawa-san, I think you’re cute in unexpected ways.”

“Pff! Gah, Pff, Hoo, Hoo!”

Maekawa-san choked violently. It wasn’t a joke; she was genuinely struggling for breath, and I felt bad for my thoughtless remark. A wave of embarrassment then flushed over me too. I had casually told her that she was cute

Once her breathing settled, Maekawa-san turned her face away and fell silent. I also went through the routine of dipping the towel in cold water and wriggling it in silence while thinking, “This is troubling”.

A little later, Maekawa-san’s parents came back, and I handed my nurse duties to them. In the process, they discovered her heatstroke but appeared to be holding back on lecturing her, probably because I was still here.

“Are you going back to Ryuushi and the others?”

“I intend to. Once you feel better and come back with us, don’t forget to take a parasol, ok?”

“… kay.”

Feeling the weight of Maekawa-san’s gaze, who seemed like he had something to say, I took my escape. As I stepped into the corridor, I was immediately struck by a sudden shift in temperature, but I simply muttered, “huum,” as I rubbed my chin.

Maekawa-san was cute when embarrassed, but figuring out how to trigger her shyness was difficult to understand.

It’s like digging for a buried treasure, I thought.

“Wwiiiiin, bom bom!”

“Gyuuuun, fon fon, zuiiiiin!”

When I returned to the beach, Erio and Ryuushi-san were duelling. With sports chanbara katanas.

They were running all over the sand swinging their katanas wildly and making sound effects with every strike. It looked like they were both having a blast, so it was fine I guess, but weren’t they worried about the gazes of the people around?

Ryuushi-san the adult instead of just splashing water around, plays like this? Heeeh.

A crowd of girls kept a wary distance with polite smiles that were slightly strained. But not everyone had distanced themselves, and some were hovering kind of halfway. Well, to put it bluntly, the guys.

It would be rare for a guy to not pay any attention to two beautiful girls in swimsuits jumping all around like that. It was hard to approach them due to them moving all around so energetically, but Erio in particular, with her flashy colours, was drawing the crowd’s gazes. They themselves were completely oblivious to it as they were having a blast shouting, “Gyuuuwin, gah gah gah!”

Attention and enthusiasm. Between these two factors, I found it a bit awkward to join them. But the battle itself wasn’t exactly impressive. Instead of Ganryuu Island, it reminded me of puppies rough-housing.

“… Oh?”

Sitting on the breakwater, half-buried in sand, was the sports chanbara old man. He was perched on a block of concrete, his sword resting on his shoulder, watching Erio’s frenetic movements… The old man who had found Erio, huh? Since I couldn’t easily approach Ryuushi-san and Erio, I naturally headed towards the old man instead.

I climbed over the breakwater covered in sand, which had long lost its function as a barrier, and sat next to the sports chanbara old man. Noticing the shadow I was casting, the elderly man turned his face in my direction. When he laughed, I noticed he was missing a front tooth. After a preamble “Oh oh oh!” that sounded like the barking of a sea lion, he added, “Well, if it isn’t the young lady-killer?” His voice was low and raspy like sand rubbed against skin.

As if his throat were as parched and dried as his skin.

“How’s the colour?”

His question was far too cryptic. I instinctively looked at my limbs to check my skin tone. My body was covered in yellowish skin that hadn’t tanned much ever after a full summer.

“Looks like it hasn’t quite settled.”

“I see, you’re a good kid.”

We weren’t having a proper conversation. Well, I wasn’t sure my own answer made much sense either.

“How admirable of you to listen to the ramblings of a geezer.”

Oh, so that’s what he meant? I thought it was pretty normal, though. Even Meme-san was serious when dealing with Tamura grandma.

Speaking about Meme-san, I looked back with a certain melancholy as she scurried across the edge of my vision. The self-proclaimed Heisei era Vagabond was once again carrying her parasol some distance away from the girl’s duel, as if she were living in seclusion. She might as well just stare at the stones at her feet while pondering about philosophical questions.

Perhaps sensing my presence with that supernatural instinct of hers, she kept shooting glances my way. If I were to decipher the message in those looks, it would translate to something like: “Mako-kun is startled at the mere sight of a breast; let’s spark another revolution in his heart.” Ah, shut up! I pressed a hand to my forehead and sighed, “… Aaah.” The way that aunt of mine toyed with me was pathetic. What was wrong with me? Was I an idiot?… But her cleavage seen from above is quite devilish. Even at the age of forty, she was a powerful drug for youth.

“It helps a lot that you folks are participating; it will keep things lively this year. Earlier, a young family also said that they would be participating.”

“Ah!” Could it be Ooi-san’s family?

“Anyway, what’s your relationship with that girl?”

The sports chanbara old man studied my face while pointing his katana at Erio. She had just parried a strike from Ryuushi-san with her bare left hand and was launching a counter-attack. From the sidelines, it looked like intense action, but since the swords were soft, Ryuushi-san took almost no damage and launched a fierce counter-attack of her own. By the way, did the rules allow knocking a sword away with a bare hand?

“This is allowed only once per match… I’m pretty sure.”

muttered the old man as if reading my mind. Heh, is that so? I wonder if the matches will have proper referees to make decisions. Whenever amateurs played sports chanbara, my general impression was that the real winner was the one having the most fun.

Still, it was surprising to see Erio, the ultimate indoor type, be on equal footing with Ryuushi-san. She might even have more stamina than I do. Did she work out before becoming a Smakin?… I can’t picture it.

“Errr, I’m her cousin.”

I hesitated for a moment but decided to be honest. The sports chanbara old man narrowed his eyes with wrinkles.

“You’re that girl’s cousin? Hoh hoh. In that case, you’re not an alien.”

He slumped his shoulders dramatically as if making a joke. As he moved, he kicked up the sand that was buried in the beach. His slender, partially buried feet were cast on his own shadow, creating a strange tableau where his toes seemed to be crumbling away like the sand in the wind.

“Well, from an Earthling’s perspective, I guess I’m not an alien… But Erio is told by all sorts of people that she’s alien-like.”

“’Like’ is the key word. No matter how much she tries to act, she’s a fake.”

grumbled the old man as he jutted his lower lip. The fake Erio was currently trying to escape Ryuushi-san’s “Zu ba ba ba ba!” barrage of blows (the name I made up for it), whose sound, cutting through the air, could be heard even before they landed. She was dating about with a ninja-style run with the sound effect “Shu ta ta ta!” Shouldn’t that sound effect rather be “Su te te te”? I thought, criticising a mere detail, before chuckling at the sight these two offered. Come to think of it, their mental ages matched… Ah, right, they’re the same age to begin with.

“How nice to see that girl looking so lively. Her name was Touwa Eeiko, right?

“It’s Erio.”

“Right, Erio.”

Even as I corrected him, he narrowed his eyes with the expression of fondness of a grandfather looking at his grandchild. Without looking at the old man or Erio, staring at the horizon in the distance, I opened my mouth:

“… When you found Erio at sea, what was the situation like?”

“Oh, you wanted to hear about that?”

The old man grasped the reason why I sat next to him. He gave a slight nod and let out an “Um um” sound as he thoughtfully tried to recall the past. He pressed the hilt of his katana against his forehead and closed his eyes.

“That girl, huh? Yeaaah, she was just floating there in the winter sea, without a warning. So I fished her out and took her home. That’s about it. Apparently, a missing person report had been filed, so the police pestered me with questions, quite the hassle. They probably suspected me of being involved in some kind of crime.”

The old man’s features scrunched up towards the centre of his face, probably recalling the interrogation. I studied his profile in silence, waiting for him to continue his story.

“I don’t know the details either. I just happened to find her as I was cleaning up the beach. Well, I’ve been around that sea longer than anyone else, so it was maybe inevitable that I was the one to find her.”

“… I see.”

“But anyway, why not ask her directly?”

He pointed at Erio. Having escaped the barrage of blows, Erio found her upper arm repeatedly hit “Zakiiin zakiin” from Ryuushi-san’s sports chanbara katana as if it were a lightsabre. Erio didn’t back down and struck right back at Ryuushi-san. The bystanders kept their distance, but their gazes had changed. They were now looking at these two with an amused and heat-warming expression.

The old man watched their playful scuffle with a delighted and gentle smile. His expression looked like he was thinking that they would serve as great publicity for tomorrow’s sports chanbara tournament.

“She apparently doesn’t remember anything.”

I carried on the conversation. The elderly man’s smile took on a lower quality.

“Apparently. She looked extremely confused when I haled her up onto land.”

That confusion was what created that alien theory and Smakin on our first meeting. The alien part was shattered, literally, by the impact of diving into the sea on a bicycle, but the Smakin was still going strong. In fact, it became a deeply ingrained form of self-defence. Well, I guess one could think of it as personal fashion… maybe?

“When I first saw her, I thought an alien had really fallen from the sky, botched her landing, and ended up floating on the sea.”

“……”

“But well, the moment I started wondering if an alien would wear a school uniform, the dream vanished.”

The old man shrugged. He then swung his katana sharply through the air. There was no sound of the wind being cut. His movement was so subtle that if I hadn’t been tracking it with my eyes I wouldn’t have noticed it.

“So I figured that girl wasn’t an alien or anything; I just saw a high school girl who looked like she was drowning, so I rushed to save her. Weeell, the seawater was so cold I thought I was a goner. I felt like I was ascending to heaven.”

The old man concluded cheerfully with, “Ha ha ha!” Why do old folks love to crack such extreme self-deprecating jokes? I guess that when people age, they encounter more and more situations where laughing it off is the only option. Still, our information exchange hadn’t been quite fruitful.

I mean, if the old man actually knew the details, Erio wouldn’t have needed to go through her Smakin phase. Well, it’s not as if knowing the details of the matter would have done me any good… Yup.

In this world entirely populated by Earthlings, there might be no one able to unravel the mystery that is Erio.

“But you know, young man. Coming to the beach with a cute high school girl. I’m jealous.”

What an honest old man. His voice went up an octave with envy, followed by a long wistful sigh, “haaaa”. His reaction was no different from a high schooler. I had learnt from Meme-san that people’s core never changed, no matter how much they aged.

“But there are some guys that make me more jealous than that. They make me a lot more envious.”

The old man flashed another gap-toothed grin. Something he envied more than a beach trip with a high school girl? This and that crossed my mind, but from the perspective of a young man in the prime of his youth, they were out of the question. Since we all attach to youth something indescribable, it was only natural that it be lost once taking on a concrete form.

“Who are you envious of?”

I was curious about what could bring an even better result than the combination of girls and beach, so I decided to ask. The elderly man shifted his position on the embankment and gazed into the distant space between sky and sea as he blurted out:

“Aliens.”

“Hah?”

“You see, I want to meet an alien.”

“… Haaa”

How odd. Even after leaving that town, the topic of aliens kept following me around. Was it due to someone’s influence? I almost slipped out the words, “Oh really?” but I held my tongue. This time it was not old man = self-proclaimed alien, so I shall refrain.

“If you’re out in space, it’s easier to meet aliens, right? That’s why I’m jealous.”

The old man spoke of his envy for aliens as he grinned up the sky. His face brimming with dreams, which made him look ten years younger, reminded me of the expression Erio wore when she gazed at the distant stars through her telescope… though the harsh reality remained that he was an old man. No sugar-coating it.

“I have a personal theory that in life the truly wonderful things are found by coincidence.”

And yet that old man had every right to speak about his own dreams. As if to assert that fact, he simply spoke in an optimistic tone.

“So ever since I was young, I’ve been wondering what the greatest coincidence could be on this planet. My conclusion is that it would be meeting someone from beyond the sky. That was decades ago when I read a manga with Martians that looked like eight-legged octopuses.”

“… What could have prompted that?”

“A chance encounter with an alien. Which is the most wonderful between the encounter itself and the alien, I wonder?”

It wasn’t unpleasant to hear, but I wondered if he was actually happy with that. Well, it didn’t matter.

As long as he was happy with this, that was enough.

“But travelling the world to search for them is a hassle, so I just hope an alien will end up wandering to this sea so we can run into one another. The odds of two specific Earthlings meeting are already incredibly low as they are, so I don’t think it’s that ridiculous to expect a visit from an alien.

The elder spoke with an expression of absolute finality. His assertion brooked no argument and merely sought to confront. Such gravitas came from having kept at it for decades.

If Erio had carried on her role as an alien from April onwards, for years or even decades, maybe her radio waves would have gained that kind of depth. But would it have brought her fulfilment? I can only leave it to others to decide.

“But doing absolutely nothing is boring, so I thought I would liven up things around the beach by hosting an event every year.”

“Why sports chanbara?”

“It’s just my hobby. Back when I was a kid, we were all doing chanbara, it was the thing to do.”

The chanbara old man laughed, “Kah kah kah,” while clutching his belly. She was smiling as he reminisced about the past, I guess?

“Anyway, after coming all the way to Japan, some with hope seeing some chanbara or samurai.”

That was the kind of thing that would delight people from across the ocean, not across the stars… What’s with that?

Erio, still young, had once sought aliens as a way of turning her back on the world.

But this old man with little time left in his life was wishing for an alien to visit him with straightforward optimism.

That contrast stirred deep in me and gave me shivers. The clear blue sky, the sea tinged with a touch of green, and the beach-goers who seemed to be having a lacklustre time. It all felt precious.

Whenever I came into contact with someone’s innocent dreams, I’ve always felt that way.

“That’s why I always remain by this sea. Born and raised here, always.”

As he kept muttering “Always, always”, he ran his fingers along the blade of his katana.

“It’s a bit of a toss-up whether that ‘always’ means I will get to encounter an alien before I die, though.”

“Please stop the self-deprecating jokes.”

I gave a wry smile. A blue blade was suddenly thrust right in front of me. Instead of recoiling, I let my gaze slide along the blade until it rested on the hilt. The old man had that same gapped-tooth grin.

“Here, take it.”

He held the katana out to me as if it were a piece of candy. He had already given some to Ryuushi-san and the others earlier; I wonder where he picked them up from.

“Take it and go see these kids to have some good zgyan-dogan.

“… Alright. Well, I’ll take my leave then.”

“Yeah yeah, go. I’m counting on all of you to show up tomorrow.”

I took the katana from the wavering old man and hopped down on the concrete block. I planted my feet firmly into the sand evenly from toe to heel and stared out at the horizon. I then set off to met with the convergence of these two inevitabilities brought by coincidence… But coincidence, huh? This was quite interesting in itself.

By stacking enough coincidences, did the probability increase dramatically, or did it become inevitable? Did piling up 1% chances a hundred times elevate it to 100%? Coincidence and inevitability shifted drastically depending on how one looked at it.

And it depends on whether one was talking about the future or looking back to the past. Every event was a coincidence when viewed from the future but became an inevitability once it became the past. It was vague and indecisive. It could be interpreted many ways.

But that old man’s dream about aliens arriving on Earth → going to his hometown sea. What kind of astronomical coincidence and process would that actually require? Like having a gold bar fall from the ceiling while vaulting in PE class! That kind of coincidence. Aah, looks impossible, right?

“…But, one never know.”

As I said earlier, Destiny has a terrible sense of direction. She never moves as one would expect.

That was precisely why the “coincidences” she triggered were so interesting.

“Wuiiin, wuiiiin!”

“You seem to be in perfect form.”

“Hawayuuu!”

As I called Ryuushi-san from behind, who was waving her sword made of pure energy (in her imagination), she sprung like the spring of a jack-in-the-box. As expected from a basketball club member, she had impressive leaping ability.

She flailed in a panic. “Awa awa” her eyes and tongue wildly spinning. Her legs were thrashing sand around too. Come to think of it, her limbs were moving independently of one another; that was pretty dexterous. How amazing, Ryuushi-san.

“Oh, ‘tis thee, Niwa-kun!”

“It is I indeed.”

“Did, you s-see everythiiiing?”

“Just about every detail.”

“So you saw everythiiiing! So you heard the Wuiiin and the Foooon too?”

“And the bachichichichi and the gywoon and the shwiii too.”

“Gyaaa! A hole, a hole! Someone did a hole for Ryuuko-san to crawl in!”

Ryuushi-san writhed in embarrassment and shouted in every direction. Like Maekawa-san, why was it that my heart would race whenever a girl’s embarrassment was laid bare? It’s even more mysterious than the fact that water exists as O.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooneeeeer! If you were watching, couldn’t you have at least dug a hole for Ryuuko-saaaaaan?! Niwa-kun, you’re so meeeeean!”

Ryuushi-san, your logic is completely backwards and topsy-turvy.

“Well, I was right there, but you were so engrossed in whatever you were doing that I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’re telling a smooth lie without a full stop or a commaaaaa!”

Ryuushi-san ran off across the beach. Aaah, she runs away while still swinging her katana around. I must have witnessed Ryuushi-san run away while swinging her arms about once a month.

And I was the cause of all of it. Hummm, was I the bad guy here? Well, I was pretty awful back during the summer festival, but the other times it wasn’t really my fault… no, never mind the excuses, I should reflect on it.

Her opponent, Erio, stood there completely unperturbed. Her sword still in hand, she had watched the exchange between me and Ryuushi-san with an empty expression. Occasionally wiping her sweat away, it looked as if she were simply waiting for the chanbara to resume. She started trotting towards me. Hey, lower that katana! You’re going to poke my nose.

“Did you have fun doing chanbara?”

“Yeah.”

Hum, that was a “yeah” of satisfaction. I’ve been pretty good at distinguishing the nuances of her ultra-short responses lately. Though, to be honest, anyone could have understood just by watching her doing chanbara.

Leaving aside the question of how this turned into chanbara.

“Cousin, you also want to do it?”

She tapped her katana repeatedly against the kodachi I had borrowed from the old man. She looked restless as if she hadn't played out her fill yet. Maybe playing with a girl her age had been a good stimulus for her. I analysed the situation as her guardian, twisting my wrist and effortlessly deflecting the katana she had swung at me.

“Hummm… fon fon fon.”

More than that, I was focused on her beads of sweat shimmering like particles of light bouncing off her radiant skin. That kind of healthy sweat was nice. Not the scent or anything, just that it was beautiful.

Ah, Ryuushi-san was coming back after making a turn in front of the beach shack. She was sprinting just the way she left. Her running style gave me a strange sense of admiration for her sports-orientated physique in spite of her chubby cheeks.

By the way, even her breasts, bouncing up and down with no protection, were also sports-orientated! … Anyway.

“Good kid diary entry: Today I was humiliated by Niwa-kun at the beach.”

“Please don’t leave a written record that could get me ostracised.”

In spite of what she was saying, Ryuushi-san looked calm, probably because she ran. Her expression was gentle too.

“Ah, by the way. Is Maekawa-san alright?”

“Yeah, she said that after a short rest she’ll be fully revived.”

“That’s something the Great Evil Demon King would say, riiight?”

If the Demon King was that frail, I doubt a hero would bother even come to defeat her. It would make for a peaceful world, though.

“So, why do you have a blade too, Niwa-kun?”

“Ah, I got this from the old man.”

When I turned around after saying this, the old man was already gone from the blocks of concrete of the embankment. Did he leave to try to recruit more people, hoping for a coincidental encounter with an alien tourist?

“Cousin, Ryuushi or something… want to chanbara?”

Erio swung her katana while standing between Ryuushi-san and me, tilting her head inquisitively.

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. Muuuh… Niwa-kun?”

After Erio’s, it was Ryuushi-san’s gaze that shifted towards me. I didn’t respond immediately to her attention and instead looked around the area. The beach was still crowded with people looking bored. A couple of guys were looking our way, or rather staring at Ryuushi-san and Erio, and girls were lying on the sand looking hot and lethargic.

And there were heads, heads, heads bobbing with the waves, their number showing no sign of decreasing.

Compared to those countless heads sprouting on the sea, chanbara on the sand would surely be less boring. And since I had received that katana for that very purpose, there was no other way to use it.

“… Ok, let’s do this.”

“’Kay”.

“A warming up for tomorrow’s event, huh? But I wonder how the winner is decided?”

As I said this, Erio stepped back, rose her katana, and with a smile said, “I won’t lose”.

No, I mean, what kind of duel were you having with Ryuushi-san? You were just aimlessly slashing at one another the whole time… Well, nevermind. If her mother, who was now a local crab, had seen her smile, she would have been sobbing uncontrollably.

“Yaaay, I can now completely trash the insolent Niwa-kun and Flower-kuuuun.”

Just as I was facing that radiant smile, she delivered her gruesome declaration with the brightest smile of the beach.

This declaration would bring an interstellar war to this peaceful seaside tomorrow… I can’t really imagine that happening. Even if her sound effects were impressive enough to give a near-future feel.

Thus…

To all the wonderful people I met against the odds.

Every time I swung my sword at them as they shouted, “Booon, booon!” it felt real.

This is indeed what I should have done at the beach, I thought.

• Sharing a room with Meme-san: −2
• It-is-the-seaaaa! +3
• It-is-a-cro-co-diiile! −1
• This-is-a-swim-suuuuit! +3
• Meme-san's massive cleavage and so and on: −2
• Maekawa-san too, was wearing a swimsuit +2
• Foooon, Bwoooon +2

Total current Youth Points: +8

Chapter 3 - The Banquet of Those Unsure of What "In Full Swing" Means

Chapter 3 - The Banquet of Those Unsure of What "In Full Swing" Means

“Ryuuko-san slaaash!”

“E-Erio slaaash.”

“In that case, Niwa-kun, slaaash!”

“Huh? Isn’t that my technique? Well then, errr, Nameless slaaash.”

We went through these kinds of exchanges countless times.

“Aaah, my whole body aches.”

In the end, the three of us continued playing chanbara until evening. It’s often depicted in sports mangas about training camps, but I realised that running around on the sandy beach did put a considerable strain on the legs and back.

Both my knees were shaking uncontrollably. Will I be able to participate in the sports chanbara event tomorrow in that condition? Similarly, when we headed back to the inn, Erio’s legs and back were like those of a newborn fawn. As expected, it was the sports-orientated Ryuushi-san who was still moving around until the very end.

Maekawa-san never returned to the beach after all. I was a little worried, but there hadn’t been any commotion at the inn or among the tourists, so I guess she must be fine. Her parents must have kept her resting as a precaution.

When I returned to the room I shared with my aunt Meme-san, she was laying down on a futon wearing her swimsuit… I felt dizzy, in a bad way. I felt like I was dreaming. But if I were making these kinds of dreams, it would be the end of the line for me.

The nutrient I was lacking right now wasn’t eroticism. It was common sense among relatives. Meme-san turned around with a smile.

“Welcome back, Mako-kun. Looks like you had a fun day.”

“Considering the circumstances, it felt like a dream.”

“And for tonight’s fun, leave it to Meme-chin!”

She gave a thumbs-up. “Yay!” Should I shout “Yay!” and run away? But my legs wouldn’t move freely. I just wanted to fall forward and rest in my room. Driven by that urge, I took off my shoes and collapsed onto the tatami mat. I didn’t even try to break my fall and hit my chin, but besides the dull ache, there was a definite sense of relief that spread softly throughout my body. I exhaled and felt even more at ease.

“Oh my, don’t go to sleep before laying out your futon.”

“I don’t want to ask, but why are you still wearing your swimsuit?”

“So Mako-kun, whose eyes were glued to his aunt’s bosom, can have a clear look at them in the light.”

My mouth pressed against the tatami mat, I grumbled, “You’ve added yet another joke to my life, you damn trauma-inducing machine.”

Meme-san left her futon and skipped over to me. Her struggle on the beach had passed, and she seemed to be in a much better mood. She knelt down beside my head and started pressing her fingers into the crown of my head. I waved my hands above my head. “Stop pleeease.” No effect.

“I know you’re tired, but the party’s about to start.”

“Ah, right… we’re all having dinner together. I need to get changed.”

I pressed hard on the tatami mat with my right hand to force my heavy body to stand up. My whole body ached; apparently I was already experiencing muscle pain. As I arched my upper body to stand up, I made eye contact with Meme-san’s smiling face up close. I instinctively turned my face away, and she said, “Hmm, it looks like my cute nephew is asking for a kiss on the cheek.”

I hastily turned my face back towards Meme-san. And there she was, standing up as if she had leaped.

“But unfortunately, cheek kisses and other kisses will have to wait until tonight. Come on, let’s go to the dining hall.”

“No, as I said, I need to change clothes.”

I shook off my aunt, who was trying to pull me up by putting her arm around my elbow, and picked up the folded clothes next to my bag. I then gave verbal instructions to Meme-san who showed no sign of leaving the room.

“Please go outside so I can change.”

“I’ve seen Mako-kun naked before, so don’t mind me.”

“Wasn’t that when I was a baby more than ten years ago?”

I shooed her off into the corridor. But she was the kind of person who could come back in at any moment, so I hurried and got changed. Sure enough, right as I had finished, she opened the door again and entered into the room. And she dragged me out into the corridor, still in her swimsuit and with her shoes only half-on. She was humming loudly without any regard for volume and even linked her arm with mine.

“Let’s go, let’s goooo!”

As I listened to her song, it felt like all the Youth Points I had accumulated at the beach were about to fly away into the distance.

“Please don’t cross your arms, don’t skip, and wear normal clothes.”

“So I’ll have to reluctantly give up just one of these three. Now, which one will it be?”

Even though I thought, “All three of them,” the fact that this person was willing to listen to even one of my objections made me feel like I had encountered an incredible coincidence and stroke of luck. How sad that my own brain and perception became like that.

“Five secoooonds left, foooour, threeeee, twoooo,”

She pressed on, speaking in a tone that sounded like she was counting down the remaining time in a shougi match.

And the one I chose on the spur of the moment was…

“… Please don’t skip.”

Because my legs and lower back were extremely tired. A little more than my mind.

I certainly did *not* settle for my young-looking aunt just because I didn’t have a girlfriend. I’m serious.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that her breasts were pressing against my upper arm. No, seriously.

In the dinner hall, which was covered with tatami mats, Erio and Ryuushi-san were playing.

“”Muuui! Muuui! Muuui!””

Sitting in their seats, they were once again pulling each other’s cheeks. I really liked these two. They had both changed into a yukata provided by the ryokan. Their light blue yukata was adorned with several small swirling patterns, and it seemed as if radio waves from a distant city were reaching all the way here.

Ryuushi-san, on the other hand, was wearing an indoor yukata as well as a felt hat on her head.

“What are you doing?”

When I called out to them, they both took their fingers off their cheeks, as if startled. Then they waved their right hands from side to side, saying, “Nothing,” “Nothing, nothing”. What? So they were being good friends after all. Just as I was about to see something heartwarming, their eyes suddenly turned suspicious. Hum? I followed their gazes.

“…Ah, that’s right.”

“Yahoo!”

A woman in a swimsuit crossed her arms and waved in response to the attention. Waah, she’s being stared at. The other elderly people and the waitress bringing the food were also staring at the 40-year-old wearing a swimsuit. How annoying that everyone around me is so sensible. I wished I could be one of them, but I suppose it wasn’t possible.

“N-nice body!” Erio clapped her hands, giving praises in an awkward way.

“Mom, your swimsuit,” said her daughter, directly pointing at her.

“That’s right. Erio, you’re cute too, aren’t you?” Meme-san complimented her daughter while casually adding a “too” to assert that she herself was cute as well. I thought to myself, “How shrewd,” but all I could do was get pulled by my crossed arms and shaken roughly.

Was this how a tree trunk that’s about to wither feels? Ryuushi-san’s gaze was painful.

“N-nice body!”

Erio clapped her hands, giving praises in an awkward way. Meme-san, acting like an idol, responded with a “Yay!” and a peace sign and dragged me along, sliding into my seat. It wasn’t really a seat, though; it was just a purple cushion on a tatami mat with something resembling a tray in front of it.

The meal consisted of a sashimi platter with a strikingly distinct contrast of red and white and a small dish of chilli shrimp. There were lightly pickled vegetables and a salad of okara and vegetables. And spinach ohitashi . The lacquered bowls were still covered, and the rice bowls with wooden lids likely contained white rice. The glass cups were placed upside down.

“Please, let go of my arm already.”

“Hmm, well. I suppose Mako-kun has had his fill of my breasts.”

Was she doing this on purpose?! The corners of my eyeballs started to hurt, and the centre of my face felt hot as if it were buried in sand. I moved my eyes dramatically and awkwardly, and there, in front of me, Meme-san was puffing out her nose with a smug expression. This woman… shit! I covered my eyes. Didn’t she really lose some wrinkles since I first met her?

“Niwa-kun, you aren’t wearing a yukata?”

Surprisingly cold-headed, Ryuushi-san ignored the woman in the swimsuit and started talking to me. She grabbed the sleeve of my yukata and spread her arms wide like a scarecrow. I’d like to stick twenty scarecrows like that in my room.

“Do they provide yukata?”

“They do! I found mine in a drawer in my room. Niwa-kun, your investigation was a bit sloppyyyy. When you enter a room for the first time, you have to properly check the drawers and the vases.”

“Hoh hoh,” alright, if I ever get the chance to visit Ryuushi-san’s room, I’ll be sure to follow these instructions faithfully.

We exchanged our conversations over Erio’s head, which was slightly lower than mine. Ryuushi-san was in seiza, while Erio was w-sitting. And her face was looking up at me. She yawned softly and rubbed her eyes. Was she sleepy, or did she miss her favourite futon?

Currently, the seating order in the dinner hall was: Ryuushi-san, Erio, me, and Meme-san. I looked around to see if I should switch places with Meme-san or Erio, but it seemed impossible to have a proper conversation with my aunt, who was sitting in seiza in her swimsuit and smiling. I covered my face with my finger and waited patiently for the embarrassment and heat to subside.

A faint, indistinct sound like flowing water continued deep in my ears. The buzz of the dinner hall also sounded muffled. Peeking across through the gaps in my fingers, I saw an elderly couple pouring beer into each other’s glasses. They hadn’t touched their food yet, but it was only a matter of time.

“Mako-kun, you so excited about Meme-chin that you are having a headache?”

“Well, that’s not a wrong way to put it…”

Not quite what Meme-san is imagining, though. I mean, did that person really find teasing her nephew that amusing? But seeing her smile, I realised I didn’t need to ask that question: she must be having a blast. Maybe tomorrow I’ll link arms with her and take her out for a stroll in the sunshine.

“Ah, it’s Maekawa-san’s family.”

said Ryuushi-san, pointing to the entrance of the dinner hall. Looking over, I saw a particularly striking tall woman leading the way as she opened the sliding doors. The lanky Maekawa-san was also wearing a yukata rather than her crocodile costume. However, it was too short for her arms and legs. She gave the impression of a young boy in a short-sleeved shirt and shorts or like someone who had borrowed ill-fitting pyjamas to stay overnight at someone’s house.

Maekawa-san turned her head and spotted us. She came towards us, a step ahead of her parents. She raised her right hand slightly and said, “Yah!” so we raised our hands back.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fu fu fu, Maekawa-san is fully revived.”

Despite her declaration, her face was pale. Or rather, perhaps I had just forgotten what her usual complexion looked like after seeing her face so red earlier in the day. Maekawa-san sat upright next to Meme-san and then stared at her swimsuit.

“You’re as strong-willed as ever, Meme-san.”

“Are you talking about my style?”

“No, your courage. I could never be so confident wearing a swimsuit.”

“Maekawa-chan, I don’t want to hear that from you.”

It was rare, but I completely agreed with Meme-san. Then Ryuushi-san, for some reason, stretched her neck and rose her hand with a brisk attitude and tone. It was as if she was peering between Erio and me.

“Touwa-san, would you mind switching seats with me?”

“Hmmmm,” Erio shook her head. “Defend to the death,” she muttered, spreading both her arms wide to the sides. Ryuushi-san groaned, “Muuu”, slamming her knees against the floor while still in seiza, creating a unique atmosphere.

“”Muuui!”” “Don’t” I grabbed Erio by the scruff of her neck and pulled her closer. Muuui avoided. Erio and Ryuushi-san’s fingertips each pinched the air. Having seen that, I released Erio who was sulking at being treated roughly like a cat, asking, “What are you doing?” Yet she never complained about being rolled around in the hallway wrapped in a futon. I can’t understand her standards. She started hitting me repeatedly. I ignored her.

“Alright everyone. We’ve all gathered now, so we can start eating. Please enjoy the drinks, food, and conversation. Take your time and have fun.”

The organiser took on the role of leading the toast using a karaoke microphone that was in the corner of the banquet hall. Hearing this, almost everyone picked up their chopsticks and said “Itadakimasu” in unison. Then, a swirling tumult ensued.

“Yaaay, it’s sashimi!”

Meme-san, who loved fish, threw her hands up in delight. Her ample bosom jiggled with her movements because she was wearing a swimsuit… Shit, why didn’t I notice that out of the corner of my eye? What an idiot I am.

“Yay, sashimi!” exclaimed Ryuushi-san, stretching her body and kneeling on the tatami mat, as she then transferred all her sashimi onto my plate. She even took all the garnishes from my sashimi. Hmm, a vegetarian act of banditry was quite an unusual thing. I guess she was gathering vegetables to enjoy the health benefits all to herself.

“Good, good,” said Ryuushi-san, looking satisfied with her plate piled high with radishes.

“When a fruitarian eats raw meat, his stomach will just melt into a gooey mess.”

Fruitarians are scaryyy. If this happened to an ordinary person, they’d probably think of it as something that triggered an illness or something. It was a road that looked sweet and sour with fruit juice, but surprisingly, thorns were forcibly cultivated using that nutrition.

Maekawa-san and Erio were eating normally, but their chopsticks were moving slowly. Maekawa-san was frowning at the contents of her bowl. I opened mine and took a look at the soup. The strangely cloudy white broth had several objects floating in it that looked like dumplings. I picked one up with my chopsticks and took a bite… Carp dumplings, huh? They tasted a little muddy. There were bones sticking out of the dumplings. Not my cup of tea. Maekawa-san didn’t seem to like them much either and was nibbling on them little by little.

Erio seemed tired from playing and was sleepy, her head nodding, and she leaned on my shoulder, still holding her chopsticks. I couldn’t just brush her away, so my left arm, holding my bowl, remained fixed in that position.

“… It’s hard to eat.”

I wasn’t sure if it was in reaction to what I mumbled, but Ryuushi-san held the tip of her chopsticks between her lips and stared intently at Erio and me out of the corner of her eyes. “How can I put this…” she prefaced, leading into a conversation.

“I kind of understand why Touwa-san is sooo attached to Niwa-kuuun.”

“Oh, really? I mean, I guess she took a liking to me, or something like that?”

“But morally speaking, it’s scandalous. Bubububuuun, bubububuuun, bubububun, bubububun, bubububun, bubububun, buuunbuuunbubunbunbunbun, buuunbubuuun, bubuuun.”

Her song seemed to express dissatisfaction, yet it was a remarkably auspicious choice of music. Anyway, besides being bad for public morals, it was also not good for my own youth.

Along with Meme-san, this scene made it look as if I were sitting in the same frame as the Touwa family.

There is no sense of the exuberance of youth in a parent-child relationship. Scandalous indeed.

Driven by some inexplicable anger, I was picking spinach when Ooi-san, holding a beer and her cell phone, waved at me and called out, “Ooy!” For a moment, I wondered if it was an impromptu pun on “Ooy” and “Ooi.” Ah, I then noticed Maekawa-san spitting out a small laugh from her bowl. Was the thinking the same thing I did?

“Makoto-kun, which do you prefer, right or left?”

“Huh? That again?”

Ooi-san’s question felt like déjà vu, or rather, déjà entendu. It was the same question Maekawa-san asked on the bus, or more precisely, the person she was phoning. I hadn’t paid much attention to it back then, but the second time around a deep frown furrowed my brow. I tightened my left arm, which was supporting the bowl and Erio.

“I was told to ask Makoto-kun about it.”

said Ooi-san, pointing to her cell phone. Behind her, her daughter was clinging onto her, half-hidden behind Ooi-san’s feet, peeking at us. She was like a smaller version of Erio.

“Why me?”

“Well. They’re complaining about returning to space, but do you have anything to do with that, Makoto-kun?”

Ooi-san shrugged. This cannot be. Or rather, who was that person?

“Aah, well then, right.”

It just so happened that Erio was leaning on my left arm, holding chopsticks in her right hand. Ooi-san nodded and said, “Roger that,” then casually told the person on the other end of the phone, “He said right.” Who the hell was it on the other end of the phone? Maekawa-san also followed Ooi-san’s back with her eyes and let out a laugh that sounded somewhat exasperated.

I tilted my head at being questioned, feeling left out of the loop, and Erio, who had been leaning closer, suddenly sat up, perhaps reacting to my movements. She rubbed his eyes, then vigorously wiped her mouth.

“Good morning.”

“I-I wasn’t sleeping.”

As I made a slightly sarcastic remark, Erio shook her hair wildly from side to side. Hey, don’t just randomly scatter your particles all around. The food on the tray will no longer look normal. Worse than covered with gold leaves.

“Hoh, so what were you doing just now?”

“M-meditation.”

She clasped her hands together, saying “nin nin”. Wasn’t that being a ninja? Do ninjas meditate while working? No idea.

“Eri-chan, how was it? Sleeping with your head on daddy’s arm?”

“I-I wasn’t sleeping.”

Erio’s was sputtering particles again. Wait, that’s not it; I need to deny the part about being her daddy.

“… Meme-san, could you please switch seats with me?”

“”Ok, ok””

For some reason, Meme-san, Erio, and even Ryuushi-san all shook their heads at the same time.

I sighed, feeling embarrassed by those three stereotypical dissenting votes.

At this gathering, the only one who didn’t object to the change in the role of Erio’s parent was Maekawa-san, who was struggling against her carp dumplings.

Should I say the party was in full swing? What that even meant, I didn’t know. Maybe I should interpret it as the atmosphere being lively? It had been almost an hour since we said “Itadakimasu”, and the atmosphere of a dinner party had completely dissipated.

The dinner hall had completely transformed into a place where squeals and shrieks were floating like soap bubbles.

Outside, the sun had set and night had fallen, but in inverse proportion, excitement was soaring up the stairs.

The woman who had been declaring, “I’m under 10, so I can’t drink alcohooool,” has blended in with a group of elderly men and women, laughing, “Guwahahaha”. The fact that she was just as energetic as the other drunks even without alcohol proved that she was practically drunk all the time. I had learnt my lesson: think twice before taking her seriously.

Meme-san was welcomed and doted on by the elderly, as if she were a daughter or granddaughter. It was the same with Grandma Tamura. It seems that people with Meme-san’s personality were well-liked by the elderly. I wonder why.

“Cousin, are you interested in mom?”

Erio, who was sitting to my left, looked around for a moment before tilting her head. What a huge misunderstanding.

Before I could even respond to that misunderstanding with “Not really,” Maekawa-san and Ryuushi-san reacted.

“Is it because she’s wearing a swimsuit?” “Eh? I knew it. It’s because she’s wearing a swimsuit? Grrr.”

Please don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t end my youth by making my aunt my only romcom interest.

Amidst these pleas, I clutched my glass tightly, bowed my head, and let out a gloomy sigh.

Our group of high school students (one of us being a former student) abandoned our usual neat side-by-side seating arrangement and instead lined up the four trays to form a square so we could face each other. It was like having lunch in elementary school, and the kids in our group sat facing each other at their desks.

If I were to illustrate it, it would look something like this.

The dinner hall was currently arranged roughly like this. Erio’s position was a little odd because it was a recreation of how it would look from above. She was surprisingly close to me. She really was a small animal. Space hamster, Touwa Erio. It’s completely irrelevant, but the thought of a blue hamster was a little creepy.

Erio, now awake, was munching on the pickles left on her tray while slowly sipping the apple juice in her glass. I wondered how such a combination of flavours could taste.

“So Niwa-kun, you’re a swimsuit-lover, huuuh? Hmm, that rolls off the tongue pretty nicely.”

The contents of the tray were gone, and Ryuushi-san sat there with a wobbly glass of orange juice in her hand, her face showing an ambivalent expression. A swimsuit-lover, she said? I couldn’t deny it, but wasn’t that like asking a high school boy, “Do you like erotic magazines?” I almost wanted to retort, “Why do you think I came to the beach?” But I was tired of seeing a swimsuit on a woman in her forties.

“Well then, this might be my only option.”

“What is?”

“Ryuuko-san running across the beach wearing a swimsuit and Niwa-kun chasing after her! Kyakya wafufuuu, swimsuit, wait! wait! Kyaaa, Niwa-kun you’re drooling, slurp… How’s that?”

“…Ryuushi-san, weren’t you supposed to be in charge of enforcing public morals?”

I hadn’t reached the level of a swimsuit aficionado who appreciated swimsuits on their own. Ah, but chasing Ryuushi-san on the beach at night might not be so bad. That is, if my legs and back were in perfect condition. Right now is a bit tough.

“That’s right! And I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. When is the name Ryuuko going to stiiick?”

She slurped her orange juice. Then she glared at Erio, the source of the Name Hazard (if I’m not mistaken?) with a sulky expression. Erio conspicuously averted her gaze and took refuge in tilting the surface of her apple juice. She remembered being the reason the name “Ryuushi” spread.

It looked like Maekawa-san wanted to avoid the topic of swimsuits, averting her eyes and remaining silent. A slight blush was visible on her pale face. Noticing my gaze, she gave me a disapproving look and glared at me as if to say, “Don’t look at me like that.” Unlike Ryuushi-san’s cuteness demon, this one was the real deal. How scary, how scary.

“And Cousin, you also like Mom's scent.”

“Hey, why are you suddenly talking about other people’s preferences, girl?”

I almost blurted out “exposed” instead of “talking,” but I restrained myself and calmly assessed this as a good decision considering the storm raging in my brain. However, I couldn’t deny that I also acted on it. Shit, it’s been like this all day. I couldn’t save myself from humiliation.

Sure, that person smelt really nice, but that was just how it was. It was like how spiders and carnivorous plants used their scent to attract prey. It was the cunning of one who lost her power (youth) and was now trying to lure young people with technique. I’m the one who was crazy for falling for something like that!

“What?! Niwa-kun was pursuing Mother!”

“Well, I have never heard such a definitive statement before.”

“Heh, the transfer student has a mother complex. You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

“Maekawa-san, you’re the last person I want to hear talking about appearances versus personality.”

“Cousin’s mother complex, or in short, ‘itokon’.”

“Do you enjoy turning people into konjac noodles? Ah?”

“More importantly!”

Ryuushi-san tapped the corner of her tray with her chopsticks.

“The important thing is, since Niwa-kun has a mother complex, what should we do about it?!”

“Could you please not continue the conversation in that direction?!”

Why were the other two applauding and saying “Ooh!” in admiration? Maekawa-san was definitely just messing around. Erio was scary because she seemed to genuinely believe it. Because she herself adored her mom.

“So, I, Ryuuko-san, will now unleash my full maternal instiiiincts! Without further ado, drum-roooools!” she said, wiggling her fingers and squirting something onto me.

“What kind of finger technique is that?”

“When one thinks of a mother, one thinks about the sea. And when one thinks about the sea, one thinks of swaying grass, so the image of Japanese kelp vaguely comes to mind. Squelch, squelch.”

“No, no, enough of that seaweed-smelling maternal instinct; look, you forgot something. When one thinks of Ryuushi-san…”

“I told ya I’m Ryuuko! Starting next month, we’ll be having a yachuuni special intensive training month!”

Yes, there! A beautiful interplay of hands, like pounding mochi. That was what I wanted from Ryuushi-san far more than this mother nonsense. So there ends the mother complex talk. Actually, lately I’ve been forgetting what my parents look like. Heartless of me, right?

“So, does anyone in Japan have any opinions on today’s meeting about Niwa-kun’s mother complex?”

“Please end thiiis.”

I squeezed out a low, cursed voice. Ryuushi-san looked startled in a comical way, then burst out laughing heartily, “Ha ha ha”. Maekawa-san was also smirking, and Erio was engrossed in her apple juice.

“Come on, we’re just kidding."

“Why did you bite your tongue there?”

Ryuushi-san stuck out her reddened tongue and fanned it with her hand. Seeing this, Erio imitates her for some reason. She stuck out her tongue flip-flap. Who would have thought that even Erio’s tongue wasn’t light blue (obviously)? Her pink, spotless tongue flicked against her lower lip. Hmm, it was kind of erotic.

Seeing Erio’s movement, Ryuushi-san’s movements froze. For some reason, Erio also tried to intimidate her in her own way, saying “Mu.” Her original appearance was childlike to begin with and far too impressive, so it just looked like a child’s intimidation. “Nunu,” “Mumu,” the two exchanged glances across the two trays of food. “Nununu,” “Mumumu,” watching from the sidelines, I had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. “Stop that.”

I didn’t know why these two were competing, but I decided to put my cousin in her place for the time being. Erio flipped a section of his hair up like cat ears and pulled back her leaning body, groaning, “Mu mu mu mu.” Perhaps feeling the heat subsided, Ryuushi-san also straightened up, groaning “Nu nu nu nu.”

It looked like Maekawa-san had been looking forward to the two of them arguing and clicked his tongue “Tch” in annoyance. But her face looked relatively amused, and she seemed to be comfortably basking in the atmosphere between us.

Then the Cooking March sung by an elderly passionate duet, came to an end, and they called out into the karaoke microphone, “Alright, who’s next to sing?” Glancing at them out of the corner of her eye, Ryuushi-san quietly said:

“But isn’t it strange? When April first started this year, all four of us barely had any connection to one another. But now we’re facing each other like this.”

As if to demonstrate that connection, Ryuushi-san spread her arms wide. That was certainly true. I had almost no connections at all, in fact, right after transferring schools. The fact that I had been able to get to this point in less than five months was probably close to a perfect score for a young man in his prime.

The problem was that, despite all that, my accumulation of Youth Points was incredibly slow. How strange, was there a hole in the bottom of the safe where I saved them? Or was there a youth thief nearby? …Ah, the Touwa family, huh?

“Our connection is basically based on the fact that you are a transfer student.”

Maekawa-san spoke up to supplement Ryuushi-san’s statement. Huh, me? Before Erio could even form a questioning expression “N?” with her lips, she nodded, and a new song began playing through the karaoke microphone.

The next singer was Meme-san. She sang passionately, swinging her free left arm around. Her song choice was an original… Was it normal to sing a song about the sorrows of a forty-year-old? It was the same song she sang at the entrance in July.

“That’s because Ryuushi-san and I don’t chat on our cell phones. The connections that are centred around the transfer student haven’t extended to the people next to them yet. It’s kind of like the structure of a bicycle wheel.”

“Fu fu fu,” Maekawa-san had a strangely triumphant tone. Was that really something to talk about in such a positive way? Ryuuko-san, who had been called out, shook both hands frantically in front of her chest as she panicked, trying to explain, “Well, you seeeee, well, I am considering it positivelyyyy, I told ya I’m Ryuukoooo,” but she was hesitant. But she didn’t forget to correct us about her name. I can’t wait for the training month.

Maekawa-san grinned, her lips curving as she looked down at her opponent. In response, Ryuushi-san flinched and tensed up, “W-what is iiiit?” She also readjusted her felt hat.

Erio, unable to join the conversation because she didn’t own a cell phone, was looking downcast. The apple juice in her glass was already gone, and there was no longer any reflection of an escape route on its surface.

“Well, I guess what Ryuushi enjoys the most is talking to the transfer student, right?”

“What, what about iiiit?! What’s wrong with thaaaat?! I told ya I’m shushushushu!”

With a whooshing sound as she swung his fist, she thrust it towards Maekawa-san. Ryuushi-san’s face instantly turned redder, and it looked like she was about to break out in a cold sweat. I was blushing too, just from being brought up in the conversation. Hmm.

“Ah, youth,” said Maekawa-san, teasing the flustered Ryuushi-san. But it wasn’t Ryuushi-san who reacted the most, but the girl with light blue hair. Even the voice that came from her throat seemed to be enveloped in particles as it vibrated in our eardrums with a strange resonance.

“Youth, what’s that?”

It was a pure question, imbued with an air of innocence. Drawn in by her voice and her question, which seemed to dispel all confusion as if water had been poured over my head, I looked into Erio’s eyes. Her light blue eyes, sparkling as if mimicking an uninhabited Earth, were waiting for my words.

Meanwhile, Maekawa-san answered immediately in a light-hearted, joking tone.

“If you want to experience a typical youth, just dive into the relationship between Ryuushi and the transfer student.”

“Heeeey! I told ya I’m Ryuuko, and what are you teaching heeeeer?!”

“And then, look, this is what happens.”

“So this is youth?”

“No it iiiisn’t!”

Ryuushi-san’s arms were spinning like crazy. They were spinning so much that I was getting worried about her shoulder joints. It was a very difficult topic to comment on, so I covered my mouth with my hand and lowered my eyes. Ugh, I’m kind of embarrassed too. My relationship with Ryuushi-san. Now that it has been pointed out again, I guess it was youth indeed.

That was precisely why it was a spot I could unearth some Youth Points from. But if I dug too hard, it would dry up in an instant, and worse, I would end up banned from that spot. Deepening human relationships was such a difficult thing.

“……Kay”

Even amidst Ryuushi-san’s dizzying commotion, Erio’s eyes were fixed on me. The atmosphere of a child suddenly asking their parent a complicated question and waiting for an answer was hanging between us.

“About youth?”

Erio nodded, lowering her chin.

She was asking me about youth?… Well, I didn’t really have any strong opinions on the subject.

She’d have to ask “the girl” who first created the Youth Points, back in the day.

“Uh, well…” “It means you’re young.” “Whoa!”

Meme-san, still holding the microphone, stepped between us. Apparently, she had moved behind me without me noticing. Her eyes closed, she continued singing with a composed expression, as if she were an idol singer.

“Packed~with~fla~voooour~”

“Please don’t make up lyrics full of jealousy on the spot.”

“You guys ~sing too~! Yaay~”

She came right over. Towards me. “Please, don’t lean on me!” So little of her skin was covered, so it was obviously going to rub against me! All sorts of things over my skin! Ugh, shit! Why was she so soft?!

“Hmm, I’m not kidding, but there is a strong feeling of aunty complex.”

“No way, she is forcing herself on me! I didn’t want this! And besides, wasn’t I supposed to have a mother complex earlier?!”

“The way Niwa-kun is developing his aunty complex is, well…”

“I don’t think there’s any way to go to a parallel world!”

“Cousin looks so happy.”

“Study human anatomy some more!”

Just because she was perfect from the start didn’t mean that she needed to learn nothing! Also, let us switch places! Carry your own mother on *your* back! And cry over something other than lightness!

“No~you~won’t~”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

She bit my earlobe! That was the trigger that pushed me to my breaking point, and I jumped up. I shook her off and ran out of the dinner hall like a loser. Why is it always my aunt I had to come into contact with?!

My day as a self-proclaimed ambassador for rom-coms is about to end, from being filled with nothing but Meme-san content. Where did it go wrong?

But at least I wasn’t caught during my escape, so I wasn’t the worst loser. This is what I thought to myself as I ran down the corridor, savouring the utterly pointless feeling of disappointment.

Aaah, how bitter. If this was what youth tasted like, then Erio should just forget about it.

A few minutes had passed since I fled to the restroom, so I washed my hands and went outside. I was relieved to see that Meme-san wasn’t waiting by the entrance. She was almost like a zombie attacking people.

“……Hum?”

Stepping out into the corridor, I saw Erio walking barefoot down the hallway, heading in a direction different from the dinner hall. It wasn’t the direction to Erio and Ryuushi-san’s room either. It didn’t seem like he was going to the toilet, and it felt unusual for her to be acting alone, so I decided to follow her.

I’ll keep it a secret that I was a little worried about her getting lost. It wasn’t worth of Youth Points, though

Following Erio as he stumbled out of the ryokan, I found myself heading towards the night sea. The night sea was dark, and the glittering surface that I had so vividly remembered during the day had vanished as if it had sunk. The sky was clear, but the stars were hidden by thick clouds, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. It had been warm inside the ryokan, but as I approached the dark sea, I began to feel a chill.

The sound of sandals crunching on the sand. Erio, walking a little ahead, was barefoot, so her footsteps didn’t reach me. What about the other way around? Erio didn’t look back and continued down the sandy beach. I followed her back without calling her out, as if I were taking a stroll… The fact that we could maintain a certain distance even when separated in this darkness meant that my body must have memorised Erio’s pace. It was a complicated feeling.

Erio stopped walking when she reached the water’s edge. The waves swallowed her ankles and swept away the sand as they left. Erio’s hair floated gently in the sea breeze, scattering particles onto the beach.

I closed the distance I had been maintaining and called out to let her know that I was there.

“Don’t try to go across the sea like you did back then.”

Even though I spoke from behind her, Erio showed no surprise. I guess she must have noticed my footsteps. She slowly turned around and smiled gently. I felt that her smile resembled Meme-san.

Against the backdrop of the dark, serpentine sea, Erio’s hair seemed to emit a faint glow, making it easy to discern the subtle changes in her expression. I walked along the damp sandy beach and came to stand beside Erio.

Sheo crouched on the sand while I stood and gazed out at the sea. The waves were pitch black, and each time they crashed onto the shore, they seemed to emit a living presence. But it was precisely because of the darkness that the sound was so clear. I listened to the sound of the waves washing over the sand, and a pleasant tremor spread through the faintly breathing inside of my body.

“Cousin, it’s been long since we’ve been on the beach, just the two of us.””

“Yeah, that’s right.”

Back in June when we came to the beach, we were all together. So, to be precise, this was the first time we’ve been alone at the beach since Erio’s self-introduction. There was no sign of Smakin.

I sat down and stretched my hunched body. My ribs cracked, my sides tightened, and a ringing in my ears rose up like a tidal wave. The moment it reached its peak, a sea breeze blew through my body.

The feeling of liberation was similar to dizziness. A hazy blur swirled in front of my eyes, and yet, it was also exhilarating.

“Cousin, was it hard peddling the bicycle?”

“Well, you know. Back then, my legs would get shaky just from playing a bit.”

“Me too,” said Erio, looking up at me with a smile. Then she picked up a grain of sand with her white fingers and threw it out into the sea. Without making a sound or any ripples, the grain of sand disappeared into the night.

“Coming to the sea at night, is that what youth is about?”

“No, no, that’s not youth at all. It’s just delusion.”

I strongly disagreed as a guy who’s a bit particular about youth. Erio supported her chin with both hands and narrowed her eyes thoughtfully with a “Hmm”. The waves that surged in soaked both our ankles.

“The sea at night is surprisingly cold.”

“Yeah.”

Erio maintained the same posture, slightly tucking her chin. Then, as the wave receded, she lifted her head again.

“Cousin, is it youth now?”

“…Yeah, I guess so.”

It was a little unwelcome, but standing by the sea at night with a girl was undoubtedly a moment of youth.

“I honestly don’t know what youth is, but it seems to be something that fills your heart.”

Moreover, its shelf life was incredibly short. It was created, given value and then disappeared in the same moment.

The particles emanating from Erio might be the very embodiment of youth. Or rather, it was not even certain whether these blue particles actually exist in reality. But my eyes have been steadily capturing them. Ever since the moment Erio removed her blanket in the light spilling from the convenience store.

“Are you satisfied with this answer?”

I answered her questions in the dinner hall in my own way. Erio looked out at the sea and lowered his chin, saying, “Kay.”

“Cousin, have you been youthful recently?”

“Not too bad in my own way. I seem to be pretty lucky, except for things related to your mother.”

But did it ultimately mean it was just bad luck? That was the question that arose after I said that, but I decided to seriously consider it later. Now was not the time to think about that; it was time to talk with Erio.

“But you can’t just copy me. You have to figure it out for yourself. Otherwise, it won’t turn out in a way that you’re satisfied with.”

I’ll set the groundwork beforehand. Erio nodded obediently, “Kay”, scratching her kneecap through the fabric of her yukata. I glanced at her, looked up, and the scent of the sea wafted into my nose as she moved.

As I winced at the unfamiliar salty smell, Erio began to speak calmly:

“My youth might have been swept away somewhere in the sea.”

“…When you were drifting?”

I decided to ask. Erio nodded. For a while, we looked ahead in silence. There stood the sea where Erio had been drifting and the sea we had jumped into. There was a surging sensation, as if the two were trying to blend together but were colliding instead. I kicked the seawater-soaked sand with a splash towards the gap between them.

The sand was heavy and hard. No matter how much we stepped on it, it never crumbled under our feet.

Following in the footsteps of the kicked sand, Erio threw the grains of sand she had picked into the sea, and then, after a pause, she continued, “But,” in a bouncy tone.

“When I flew with Cousin and dived into the sea, I felt like I discovered something.”

“What?”

Erio answered my question without hesitation. Her expression flowed smoothly, and with a smile, she said:

“Right now, I’m constantly chasing that something. That’s why I’ve come to think of this place not as a place of loss but as the place of a new beginning.”

“…I see.”

What was Touwa Erio searching for after returning from the sea?

Its true nature might be something like the distance between me and the moon that I felt when I was in middle school.

“I’m glad I am Cousin’s cousin.”

“How intricate,” I muttered, scratching my nose.

“I’m glad I could come to the beach with Cousin again.”

“Is that so?” I responded, fiddling with my earlobe.

“I enjoy being with Cousin and Mum.”

“That’s great,” I said, covering my eyes with my hand.

“With Cousin” “Ok, that’s enough.”

I lightly tapped Erio’s forehead with my hand. Was she trying to kill me with flattery?

For a second-year high schooler, your gratitude is too pure.

“Let’s head back now. Meme-san can be so overprotective it’s annoying.”

I made that suggestion partly to hide my embarrassment.

Erio nodded, seemingly oblivious to my feelings.

“Yeah. Now that you mention it, I wasn’t allowed to go out at night.”

Erio smiled at me, as if sharing the fact that she had done something slightly naughty. I nodded in response, watching her stand up. Once she was standing, I turned my back to the sea.

Looking back and up, we saw a landscape where the city lights softly illuminated the dark night. We slowly and steadily made our way across the sandy beach, aiming for those lights.

“…… Ah.” “Hum?”

Erio looked up at the sky and spun her head around as if chasing something. I followed her gaze. There was a small white light moving in the night sky. It was moving from the city towards the sea.

“A UFO,” muttered Erio as she stopped walking, her eyes still following the white light.

Did she really think a UFO would really fly so boldly over the skies of Japan? I thought at first that it must be an aeroplane. But the blinking was strange for an aeroplane.

Would a UFO visit this place, which seemed to be just a step away from the self-proclaimed city watched over by aliens?

No one could have imagined that the arrival of that UFO would usher in the beginning of a space war on the beach the next day… just kidding.

“I wonder? Maybe your father is in it.”

I said this in a light-hearted tone, but Erio shook her head far more vigorously and seriously than I anticipated.

“I hate my dad.”

“…… Hum.”

Maybe because she’s a mama’s girl. Even Erio had a surprisingly complex inner world. She was not just wrapping herself in a blanket. From my perspective, the fact that she would wrap herself in one stroke me as complicated, if not utterly bizarre.

After the light faded into the night sky, we began walking back towards the ryokan in silence.

After the light faded into the night sky, we began walking back towards the ryokan in silence.

Then, when we reached the back entrance of the ryokan, Erio spoke to me in a more formal tone:

“Cousin.”

“Yeah?”

With her hands still on the back of her waist, Erio strode past me and declared with a ticklish tone:

“I’m going to become a youthful girl.”

“…… Oh, good luck.”

As I answered, I stroke little Erio’s head as if to hug her while I found myself thinking.

Was it alright once in a while to feel a sense of Youth Points between Erio and me?

• My aunt in a swimsuit in our room: −2
• Being led to the banquet hall held by the arm: −2
• Girls in yukata: +2
• Watching a UFO (?) on the beach with Erio at night: +4

Total current Youth Points: +10

Chapter 4 - Tomorrow is a Youthful Hangover

Chapter 4 - Tomorrow is a Youthful Hangover

About thirty minutes after we returned from the sea, there was a knock on the front door. I brushed my teeth and made up Meme-san’s futon (for some reason, I couldn’t find the duvet; had she given it to Erio or something?), so it lay upright against the wall and then remained lying there, lost in thought.

I hadn’t turned off the lights in my room yet. I was sprawled out, gazing at the ceiling, wondering if I should take another bath before going to sleep. The occasional sound of waves in the silence and the ringing in my ears was comforting. Then I chuckled to myself, remembering the commotion at the party and the chanbara during the day, and was enveloped in a little bit of happiness. It was at that moment that I heard a small knock in the room.

“Yes?” I replied, sitting up as I wondered who it could be.

[Yay! You finally let your guard down, Sun! I’ll have the summer sea all to myself!]

I would have expected the forty-year-old to come back shouting something like that, running outside around the beach in a swimsuit at night, but there was no such thing as knocking when it came to Meme-san. She’ll probably come in soaking wet and covered in sand. I had even prepared a towel by the bedside to push her away.

“I haven’t locked the door. Please come in,” I said, even though I thought it was a little careless of me, and then I heard the sound of someone turning the doorknob. I sat cross-legged on the futon and stared at the entrance, and I was able to immediately identify the visitor by her features.

There was only one woman I knew who was that tall. It was Maekawa-san.

“Hey, transfer student. Were you already asleep?”

Maekawa-san was dressed in a yukata, just as she was during dinner, raising her right hand slightly. I took off my slippers on the dirt floor.

“No, I was still awake. What, do you need something? From me, or Meme-san?”

“From you, transfer student. What happened to Meme-san?”

“Hopefully, she’s rolling around on the beach, tossed about by the waves.”

Surely she didn’t try to make contact with that mysterious flying object we saw in the sea earlier, did she?

“Ahahaha.”

Apart from her voice, she wasn’t laughing. Maekawa-san came into my room and approached me with unsteady steps, then sat down facing me. That was when I noticed she was clutching a green liquor bottle in her left hand. She slammed it down on the floor.

“I secretly collected the drinks that the old men were drinking at the party.”

Maekawa-san chuckled mischievously, “Fu fu fu”. She rolled a bottle with a sake label in her palm while using her other hand to adjust the hem of her yukata, which she had rolled up. I tilted my head, not understanding what she was talking about.

“Okay, so what’s about that alcohol?”

“I’m suggesting we have a drink face to face, transfer student.”

Maekawa-san raised the bottle of liquor, and a grin spread across her lips. When I heard the reason for her visit, I, a wholesome high school student with no connection to alcohol, cigarettes, or gambling, was greatly flustered.

“No, no, no, you and I are both minors. Why are you just casually suggesting this?”

“Weeell, if we add our ages up, we’re over 30 years old. Why not cooperate?”

Maekawa-san laughed it off with some nonsensical logic. Then she muttered, “Oops, I almost forgot,” and looked around the room. She checked under the desk and under the futon, and even got up and walked around, opening drawers and checking something. I couldn’t hide my surprise at Maekawa-san’s arrival and the heavy-looking liquor bottle lying on the floor. Maekawa-san always managed to throw me off-balance.

“Err, what are you looking for?”

“Well, since it’s you, transfer student, I figured you might have brought a girl or two with you. And what’s with this vertical futon? It’s like it’s accompanying a ninja.”

She acted nonchalantly but was making incredibly unfair assumptions. Maekawa-san must have completely misunderstood me. What kind of womaniser did she think I was? Ha ha ha.

“Fu fu fu, I just lured Maekawa-san into my room.”

I tried making a random comment. I was waiting for her to retort, “No, no, I’m the one who made the first move,” but Maekawa-san just smiled faintly and remained silent. She sat back down opposite me, just like before. Then she raised the liquor bottle again, blocking both our lines of sight.

We were hiding our expressions from one another.

“That’s right.”

“Hah?”

“So, let’s have a drink. A nightcap, a grown-up’s little indulgence. I heard you can’t drink carbonated drinks, so I came with sake.”

The contents of the bottle slosh around with the movement of her hands.

“We’re still kids… I mean, Maekawa-san, can you even drink?”

“I’m the daughter of an izakaya owner. With curiosity and the right environment, you can adapt to anything.”

I could understand what she was saying. After all, I got used to that alien town and the Touwa family. But, alcohol… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what it would taste like if I drank it now.

It was the same at the dinner, but I thought, “If the adults are drinking it so happily, then I should too”. However, I had a nasty memory from when I was in second grade of elementary school. I was given a little of my dad’s drink, and it didn’t suit my taste at all, so I threw it all up in the bathroom. That was why I was a little hesitant.

Since then, maybe I’ve become at least enough of an adult to appreciate the taste of alcohol?

“…… Well, underage drinking is youth-like, isn’t it? Maybe I’ll give it a try.”

“What kind of reasoning is that?”

No, no, drinking alcohol with a girl at night. Moreover, we’re underage. That’s definitely a 3-point moment.

Besides, having snuck out of my room in the middle of the night with my friends to go to the public bath during a school trip in middle school, I actually quite enjoyed letting loose like that while travelling.

With a wry smile, Maekawa-san prepared two teacups provided in the room. She tilted the liquor bottle and poured the liquid into the teacups. It was as clear as water, but the strong smell that rose from it was unmistakably that of alcohol. I spontaneously grimaced. Maekawa-san chuckled at my reaction.

“Transfer student, how cute. I want to pat your head.”

“Is that payback for lunch?”

I glanced at the closed door at the entrance with a wry smile. It would be bad if Meme-san, who was technically my guardian, found out about this situation, but then again, it’s her we’re talking about. She’d probably spin around the room saying, “Leeeet meeee joiiiin too!” A forty-year-old wearing a swimsuit in the middle of the night. “Eh, wasn’t that just a dream someone had last night or something?” She would likely react in this manner.

“Hmm…”

I groaned as I stared at the surface of the water in my teacup. This water would significantly boost my Youth Points if I drank it all, but… it appeared it would have side effects. Let’s call it Super Blue Water. It sounded like a name that would kill me instantly if I drank it without any preparation.

“Here, bottoms up.”

Maekawa-san casually tilted the teacup to her lips in the same way she just recommended. Watching her swallow, I was amazed that she was actually drinking it.

“Using a teacup just doesn’t have the same charm, does it?”

said Maekawa-san with a grim expression after drinking about half of it. She looked at me directly as if to say, “Now it’s your turn,” and I made up my mind. I bowed my head slightly, said, “Itadakimasu,” and brought my lips closer to the teacup which was now permeated with the aroma of sake. I sipped it down as if I were drinking hot tea.

It was an incredibly unsophisticated way to drink. Moreover, I inhaled more than I intended, so I choked in a panic, and the alcohol splattered into my mouth and throat. It felt like the alcohol was seeping into my eyes, mouth, and the area below my nose.

My own coughing and choking sounds, along with Maekawa-san’s stifled laughter as she bit her lower lip, echoed in the room.

“Was this perhaps your first time? How did sake taste like?”

“A taste that makes my head spin.”

My throat was burning. I covered my nose and mouth with my hands and waited for the pain to subside. Was that what it felt like to drown in alcohol? It wasn’t much different from when chlorine-laden school swimming pool water got up my nose. No, there was no difference, was there? I licked the inside of my mouth, and it still tasted awful.

After I calmed down, Maekawa-san poured more sake into her teacup. Her skin was slightly flushed, and her eyes were softer than usual. Did alcohol kick in faster for people with good blood circulation?

“Well, let’s have some fun conversation as our snack, shall we?”

said Maekawa-san, kneeling on one knee and sipping slowly from her teacup. She would make a lovely picture, I thought with admiration as I saw her face to face. Basically, she was a cool person as long as she didn’t raise her arms and didn’t stay out in strong sunlight. High temperature and humidity strictly forbidden… Does she need to be preserved using the same methods as paintings?

“I wonder if Touwa and Ryuushi are asleep yet?”

muttered Maekawa-san, looking towards the wall.

“Probably, especially Ryuushi-san. She was practically asleep by the end of the banquet. Maekawa-san, what about your parents?”

“They’re having a walk on the sandy beach at night. They’re such a lovey-dovey couple, even at that age.”

She had a dry smile on her face. The sandy beach, huh? We didn’t notice it when we were there, though. Maybe my clam-digging aunt might come out on a wave from the open sea to ruin their mood. Yeah, that can happen.

“Come on, drink up. Drink up, transfer student,” said Maekawa-san, pouring me more sake. Was she drunk already?

“From your perspective, transfer student, wouldn’t it have been more welcoming if Touwa and the others had come to your room instead of me?”

“Pfft”

As I cautiously pressed the edge of the teacup together, more sake spurted out. Drops dripped onto the futon, making a stain. “What a waste, transfer student,” Maekawa-san scolded me teasingly.

“That’s not the case. Especially since Erio and I live together.”

“Weren’t you just bursting with laughter? I know, how about I cosplay as Touwa or Ryuushi?”

She spoke rapidly, as if in a fever, and then Maekawa-san’s shoulders began to slightly tremble. She seemed to be laughing, but it wasn’t the kind of atmosphere that would make me laugh along with her.

“That’s not the point… or rather, do you even have cosplay props that specific?”

“Of course not.”

She narrowed his eyes and spoke in a strangely displeased tone. She took a gulp of alcohol. Then she shook his head as if to say, “No, no, no.” Her cheeks and ears were flushed crimson, and her eyes looked heavy.

“No, that’s not it. This isn’t exactly a fun topic, is it? Yeah. Sorry, sorry.”

“Ugh. Well, whatever you want to talk about.”

If anything, the real challenge right now was the alcohol in front of me. How was I going to finish it?

“Aaaah, that’s it.”

“What?”

With the teacup still at her lips, Maekawa-san’s eyes averted to the side. She seemed unusually hesitant.

“Transfer student, you helped me out during lunchtime today, didn’t you?”

“……? Ah, you mean when I carried you to your room? Well, I guess I got used to these kinds of situations.”

“I was wondering if I was too heavy.”

“On the contrary, I was surprised at how incredibly light you were.”

Her weight was so small that it seemed impossible for someone of her height. I would have believed it if someone told me that it wasn’t because her consciousness had been boiled by heat but because she was knocked down head-on by a faint wave of light.

“If that’s the case, then fine.”

Maekawa-san brushed the hair behind her ear and moved her mouth, looking down slightly.

“Yeah. Nothing to worry about.”

“Yes.”

She gave that simple, unadorned reply, and the conversation came to a halt. A profound silence fell, and the sound of waves became audible again. At this point, there was nothing to focus on but the alcohol. I took small sips again, like a cat licking water. I didn’t put a large amount in my mouth all at once, nor did I take breaks, but I sipped regularly. I believed that was the most efficient way to drink. But somehow, it didn’t feel very youthful. Youth-like, youth-like… How do I do it? If I drank it all at once, it would just seem like I was drowning in my sorrows.

Maekawa-san, on the other hand, was racking his brain, saying, “A fun story, a fun story… hmm”. She didn’t necessarily have to be that dedicated to entertainment as a travelling performer. An interesting story, huh? I wish I could provide one, but I wonder what kind of story would make both Maekawa-san and me excited. I had no idea.

“…Transfer student?”

“Humm?”

“Did you get turned on by seeing Ryushi in her swimsuit during the day?”

“Bwah.”

The alcohol I was drinking splattered outwards in a radial pattern. It created a large stain on the futon. Wiping the alcohol that had spilt from my nose with my finger, I looked up at Maekawa-san, who had a bewildered expression on her face.

“Bwah.”

“What kind of topic is this?”

“I think that for high school boys, the most enjoyable topics are probably those related to sex, right?”

“That’s way too blunt!”

Odd, I thought Maekawa-san was a sensible person. Was it the alcohol? Was it because of the alcohol?

“But you spurted out twice with great force. I wonder if wrapping this blanket around Touwa would get her drunk.”

I tried to imagine Smakin staggering around and bumping into walls everywhere… Just like usual.

“Transfer student, watching your reactions made me feel happy too.”

“Well, Maekawa-san, seeing you having fun made it all worthwhile, even though I ended up spitting out the alcohol through my nose, hahahaha.”

“Well, wekk, let’s forget about our drinking failures.”

She poured more sake into the teacup. The sake, which had been reduced to half due to what we had drunk and spilt, was now back to its original level. It seemed like the teacup would never be empty. In desperation, I gulped it down in one go. I endured the strong smell of sake that filled the air by clenching my molars and swallowed it all down my throat.

I drank about half of what was poured into my cup in one gulp, and suddenly my whole body became incredibly hot. My eyes started to blink, and my vision became strangely clear. It was as if the dark clouds that had been hanging over me moments before had suddenly been dissipated.

Seeing my reaction, Maekawa-san also spoke to me in a slightly more cheerful tone:

“What do you usually talk about with Ryushi on the phone?”

“What? Just normal stuff. Like what we ate for breakfast. That’s all.”

“Heh? That’s like a conversation between boys and girls in elementary school.”

“Yeah, yeah. But it’s really fun.”

I gulped down. I was starting to get used to the taste. Plus, it was hot. The room and I were hot. So I drank cold alcohol to cool down. Was there a problem with that? Nope. Yup, let’s drink, let’s drink.

“Oh, you’re drinking well. Let’s keep going.”

“Ah, thank you very much. You too, Maekawa-san. Don’t hold back.”

I snatched the liquor bottle and poured it into Maekawa-san’s teacup. Ah, woops, some spilt onto the futon. Oh well, I can just swap it with Meme-san’s futon. She’s an adult and I’m a minor, so she’ll probably be considerate enough to avoid a futon that smells of alcohol. Probably.

Maekawa-san’s cheeks seemed to be slightly strained after being served a teacup full of sake. But the surrounding scenery also seemed to be slightly distorted, so it might have been my imagination. Or maybe my eyes were just bad.

“It’s hot again today. It’s a tropical night; I don’t need a futon.”

I kicked the futon away. But it didn’t fly because I was sitting on it. How useless. But Maekawa-san was giggling, so it was worth it. Oh, so it wasn’t useless after all.

“You have fun talking to Ryuushi, but what about me? Let’s talk like this now.”

“Huh? Hmm, I’m actually starting to have fun. Like I’m being liberated? Yeah.”

“Isn’t that because of the alcohol?”

“I wonder. Okay, then let’s try staying away from alcohol for a while.”

I gulped it down, emptying the teacup. Then I laid it on the side and let it roll across the floor. The teacup rolled near the wall, then made a short circular motion before stopping. It was like bowling, kind of fun. So I thought Maekawa-san should try imitating me. It might liven things up.

“Come on, Maekawa-san, you roll it too.”

“Yeah… you’re drunk, aren’t you? Completely.”

Maekawa-san rolled the empty teacup, holding her shoulder as if trying to suppress her laughter. It rolled all the way to where my teacup had been thrown, and they hit each other and stopped. Now it was like a game of billiards.

“So, what kind of conversation do you have with Touwa?”

“Is that an intro quiz? It goes something like ‘mofufufufufuuu, mofuuufufuuufuuufuuu’. Get it?”

“That’s exactly like her.”

“Aah, what a shame. It’s actually pretty interesting, even though it makes no sense.”

I laughed, “Ayahyahyah!” It was higher pitched than I expected, and I ended up laughing loudly without restraint.

“Do you want to watch TV?”

I pointed to a small, old, dilapidated television. Maekawa-san tilted her head, “Hum?” in confusion at the suggestion.

“Well, there might be some interesting TV show on. Wait, wasn’t the purpose of this drinking party to be amusing? Oh, did I get it wrong? This is embarrassing, oh no.”

“You’re not wrong, yeah. But transfer student, the fact that you’re a little eccentric is enough to make it interesting…”

“It’s so hot. It’s incredibly hooot. I can’t cope without something cold to drink. I can’t take it anymore.”

I moved around on all fours, stomping along. I retrieve both teacups. I stomped back. Since I was now separated from it, I kicked the futon aside. Then, I handed one of the teacups to Maekawa-san. “Pour the sake,” perfect.

“Perfect, huh? Well, if you’re going to eat poison, you might as well eat the plate too.”

“Ah, thank you, thank you.”

I asked Maekawa-san to pour me some sake. As soon as the mouth of the sake bottle left the teacup, I drank it. I could barely taste it anymore, but it went down smoothly. It was refreshing, like drinking liquid mint gum.

“Huh? What’s so refreshing about that? Weell, I don’t get it at all. I still prefer muscat-flavoured gum. Or that 20-yen orange gum. The kind where the flavour disappears in two seconds after you chew it, you know? That one.”

“Hey, cheerful transfer student. Don’t get all excited by yourself; listen to what I have to say for a second.”

“Whaaat? A transfer student? Are you telling me to transfer schools… Huh? Déjà vu, déjà vu.”

As I was lost in laughter recalling a past incident, Maekawa-san cleared her throat. I looked over to see what was going on, and she took a deep breath, seemingly waiting for the redness on her cheeks to subside.

As Maekawa-san cupped the teacup in her hands, her eyes changed from dreamy to serious. She seemed to toughen up, and I thought that this was more like Maekawa-san.

“Has anyone told you that the school’s cultural festival is happening around the end of next month?”

“Hmm… I don’t know, wait? Did I hear about that? I forgot, so I don’t know.”

“Yes.”

Oh, Maekawa-san looks happy. It was unusual to see someone happy about a person not knowing or forgetting something.

“What about the school festival? You want to enjoy it with me?”

This time it was Maekawa-san who burst out laughing. A mist-like substance fell onto the futon she kicked. It was a beautiful shower, as if a rainbow might appear. I was so impressed that I couldn’t help but applaud, and Maekawa-san glared at me.

“That’s not the point, transfer student… Awa-kun.”

“Who are you calling a bubble?! Why are you making me out to be a bubble, hey, hey, hey, hey?”

I tried to imitate the fake crying of a woman in her forties. My nose started running, so I inhaled. Then I gulped down. With each sip, my head felt hot, my stomach rumbled, and the corners of my eyes flickered. It felt good.

“So, Sawa-kun, Aaah, so you don’t have any plans for this year’s school festival yet, right?”

“I don’t think Sawa-kun has any plans.”

Seriously, Maekawa-san, you should really try to remember my last name. Ah, but I don’t know Maekawa-san’s first name either, so I guess we’re even. I think I saw it on the class roster a long time ago, but I can’t remember what it was.

“Ugh,” I groan, my eyes darting around. I was swimming in a sea of memories. A sea that smelt of alcohol. I felt like I was going to get seasick just from swimming the crawl. Now that I think about it, in elementary school, we used to put red or black lines on our swimming caps. It was proof that you could swim long distances or fast. I think I only managed to get about three black lines.

“Okay?”

Maekawa-san’s ears, neck, and even the underside of her chin were burning red, and she was staring intently at me.

“Ah, sorry. What was that about the school festival? You said you wanted to have a blast together?”

“That’s enough of that… well, that’s basically it.”

“Huh?”

Then Maekawa-san slammed the liquor bottle down on the floor with a thud. It gave some kind of signal. But Maekawa-san herself seemed unable to keep up with the force of it, her words hesitant and awkward. He seemed restless. Have a drink.

“Well, if you don’t have anyone to hang out with or anything like that, I was wondering if you could help me with my project for the school festival. Ah, when I say my project, I mean the one for the art club.”

She was speaking really fast. Not only was her blood flowing well, but her tongue seemed to be moving smoothly too. That was good. Gulp, gulp. “Mae-chan, you drink too.” “Mae-chan?… huh. No, it’s fine, but Riwa-kun.”

“Riwa-kun, huh? So close, just one letter off,” but that was true for everything so far. How regrettable.

That assessment seemed to apply to the lives of many different people. Damn, I’m not going to end up like that. Gulp, gulp. But well, I’ve never got a perfect score on a regular exam since middle school.

“So, you want my help? Hmm, sure, as long as it doesn’t take all day, no problem.”

“Really? Well, knowing you Iwa-kun, I’m sure Ryuushi or Touwa will ask you out too, but are you okay with that? Are you confident you can turn them down?”

There were so many questions, and they came one after another without any pause, making me dizzy and go “Woups”. Maekawa-san was asking questions as if she were spitting out alcohol, spitting out words, or just flying them out… In other words, she was asking questions as if she were flying something, and I thought about it with my still-dizzy eyes, going “Hmm.” Ryuushi-san and Erio. Aaah, well… but…

“But it won’t last all day, right? So, once I’ve helped out we can just have some fun.”

That was a very reasonable suggestion. Thinking that, I glanced at Maekawa-san’s face to gauge her reaction. With her eyes closed, she had a satisfied smile on her face. The sake must be tasting good for her now, just like it is for me. Gulp, gulp. Pour. Drink. Ah, the bottle is light. There’s not much sake left.

“Yeah, not all day. I won’t be at the stall all the time either.”

“Oh, really? Well, then let’s all go around together afterwards, except for Meme-san.”

I laughed, “Hya hya”. Huh? It felt as if I had just set up some kind of flag for something.

“Ahaha,” Maekawa-san laughed, showing her front teeth. Then she finished the rest of her teacup and shook her head.

“Well, I don’t have any expectations.”

“Huh, why? I’m the type of person who keeps promises and things like that, because I’m a youthful guy.”

“If you hadn’t been drinking, sure. But transfer student, you will probably have forgotten a lot by tomorrow. Right now, I’m satisfied just from hearing that kind of response from you.”

“That’s not true! Alright, let’s write it down; let’s write down the promise! Pen! Pen is this!”

My knees were so weak I couldn’t stand up properly. I collapsed onto the floor and then started wriggling like an inchworm. Wriggling, wriggling. Pen, pen. It was on the table with the questionnaire. I grabbed it and scribbled with my right hand. “Ah, I’m right-handed, but oh well.” The letters I wrote with my left hand were almost unrecognisable. But I wrote them down, so it’s fine! I won’t forget! I won’t take a bath!

I rolled over and over and ended up back in front of Maekawa-san. Being in front of Maekawa felt like long before now. “See, I wrote it. Right? This should be fine; it will work,” “Yes, yes,” she replied, nodding. Good. Then Maekawa-san turned to the side and gave a wry smile, saying, “I don’t think I’ve let you drink enough”.

Then we both gulped down. I understood how those middle-aged men felt when they wanted to shout, “There’s not enough sake!”

“But why the school festival? It’s not even next month; this month is almost over. Aah, summer holidays!”

I lamented the end of summer. I wished I had another week of holidays, though I thought that every year.

“A kouhai…or a sempai maybe since she’s older? Hmm, I don’t know? Anyway, a friend from the card game club asked me for help with their school festival project, and that just reminded me of it.”

‘Huuum. What will you be doing? Something erotic? You’ll be doing something erotic?”

“Well. I guess it’ll be gambling poker, with that cartoon-character costume…”

“Heh?… Ah, then why don’t you just take your clothes off? Strip poker! That’ll be a hit!”

“I refuse,” retorted Maekawa-san, making me feel dejected. Maekawa-san then chuckled, shaking her shoulders amusedly, before looking up at the ceiling with a dreamy expression. I looked up too. It was dazzling.

“Besides, it’s pleasant to outrun Ryuushi once in a while, isn’t it?”

“Huh, Ryuushi? Wow, to outrun particles, Maekawa-san you’re seriously at the speed of light.”

Ah, so that’s why she runs out of energy and collapses so quickly: it’s because she’s moving at the speed of light. I see.

“Uwa-kun, you seem to really like Ryuushi. Is there a reason for that?”

“Heh? She’s mega cute! I just want to poke those cheeks of hers; I can’t get enough of them!”

Bam, bam, I slapped my thighs. I also took another sip. “Come on, drink up. You drink too, Mae-chan.” I went on to pour some more, but I realised the bottle was empty. Only a few drops of alcohol fell from the fall from the opening.

“Oh my oh my. Mae-tan, we’ve run out of sake.”

“’Tan’?… Ugh, it doesn’t suit me at all.”

“And you know, she kind of looks like her.”

“Looks like her?”

“Back in middle school, due to special circumstances… I mean, I wasn’t chosen for the sixty. Oh yeah, one of those forty kids had kind of a similar vibe to Ryuushi-san. So I think that might have been the reason I was initially interested in her. But lately, I’ve forgotten about her. That girl, Hosshi.”

Huh? I have absolutely no memory of calling her like that. What was her first name again? Sauce. I think it was something sauce-related. Was it soy sauce? Otafuku? Probably one of those. Hosshi Soy Sauce.

“Where was she from?”

Maybe she was French? But I’ve never been to France. So maybe she was Japanese?… Was this her stage name?

“Is that so?… I see, that kind of thing happens. But I don’t really get the gist of what you’re saying about middle school, though.”

“I wonder? I’ve never met anyone like Erio anywhere else, though.”

“She’s in a league of her own. It’s like the difference between the Sun and the Earth.”

I see, it’s just a difference in stars. I understand, I understand. It’s fun to talk about things I understand. It’s so fun.

It’s not like there was any particular excitement, but it was a nice, relaxed atmosphere. It was the same kind of atmosphere when I went to Maekawa-san’s house during summer vacation. I guess this kind of relationship was the most comfortable for me and Maekawa-san.

We’ve been drinking together and have become like best friends… Ah? The phone’s ringing.

“Oh, another call,” said Maekawa-san, taking her cell phone out of the sleeve of her yukata. She then answered the continuously ringing phone. I was jealous. Nobody has called me today. Well, I didn’t even bring my phone with me in the first place. Since Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san are with me, there was a good chance it wouldn’t ring. Huh? So nobody’s calling me after all. Wah ha ha, I don’t have many friends. Nakajima and Hanazawa-san are a bit of a mixed bag, too.

“Transfer student, which is right and which is left?”

Maekawa-san, who had moved her face slightly away from the phone, asked me a familiar choice between two options.

“Hey, didn’t you hear that on the bus too?”

“I was just asked that again. Apparently, this choice will determine the outcome of the space war.”

“Okay, right. Riiiiight.”

After all, the promise I made to Mae-tan was written on my right arm.

“Right?… Okay then.”

Maekawa-san quickly hung up the phone. She immediately tossed it into her yukata.

“So, what was that conversation about?”

“I wonder? Something nonsensical about believing in coincidences.”

“Oh, really? What a coincidence! How wonderful.” That’s what the old man said earlier today.

Maekawa-san nodded deeply in agreement to the praise, which was more like regurgitation or plagiarism.

“That’s right, coincidences are important. You should cherish them.”

“Yes?”

“Why start a conversation and then ask a question? For example, like this.”

Maekawa-san snatched my empty teacup. She placed it next to her own. They were lined in a row, “By order of height?” “No, no. Like this,” said Maekawa-san, pressing on one of the teacups with her finger.

The teacup lost its balance, tilted, and fell over. In the process, it pushed hard against the other teacup that was in the direction it was falling. The pushed teacup didn’t fall over, but it slid across the tatami mat. After watching it stop moving, Maekawa-san said:

“Even if the cause of the teacup tipping over wasn’t my finger and was purely accidental, it was inevitable from the moment it fell that the fallen teacup would knock over another one. Wasn’t that just a coincidence?”

“Yeah, that’s true. You have to plan carefully when you knock down dominoes; otherwise it’ll fail.”

“One teacup simply falling over is a coincidence, but if it touches the second teacup, it becomes a domino. The impact was predetermined. A series of coincidences can shape inevitability.”

“Ah, yeah, I guess so. Domino is a good novel, isn’t it?”

“So, love isn’t accidental; that’s what the book said… the book I read the other day. And, yeah, I thought it might be a good saying, so I should better tell it to you, transfer student… or at least I thought I had thought it.”

“Oh, oh, thanks. It’s love, love, right? Love is the best! But Meme-tan’s love is a bit too intense!”

I span my arms around and around, singing of love. Love is love. Is Maekawa-san in love?

Right now, I was in love with spinning. Everything in front of me and my eyeballs was spinning around together, like in an amusement park.

“So, what did you come here to talk about today? Is it just going to end with the school festival, love, and coincidences?”

“That’s the second one.”

With her mouth covered by a teacup, Maekawa-san thrust out a peace sign. I thrust mine back. The fingers of the peace sign push against her toenails, then pull back, repeating this playful interaction like tropical fish.

Then, without revealing her mouth, Maekawa-san explained the main reason she came here:

“I couldn’t really have fun with transfer students during the day, so I wanted to have fun at night. That’s all.”

“Oh, really… huh?”

The teacup rolled over. No, I’m the one falling over. I flopped face down. On the futon I’ve laid out ? ? ? A series of question marks appeared, and then I recoiled at the smell of alcohol in my own breath.

“Oh, Ooh? Wow wow, Maekawa-san, are you pressing down from above?”

“No, Chiwa-kun, you’re at your limit.”

She waved her arms from a distance. “I see,” I responded, but what? What’s my limit? I tried to stand up; I tried to stand up, but my body was tossed about by the waves, and I couldn’t move even my fingertips. Everything I saw was distorted and warped.

Maekawa-san, with unsteady steps, brought the futon and draped it over me. It should have made me even hotter, but it felt incredibly good. It was warm. It felt like it had instantly become a part of my back.

Maekawa-san was like my mother.

“Maekawa-san, want to sleep together?” When I offered, she responded with a wry smile. Her face was bright red, though.

“You and I are both children who need to be accompanied by a guardian,” she told me.

And as she was leaving, Maekawa-san revealed the truth, almost as if to spoil the whole thing:

“Actually, transfer student… This is the first time I’ve ever had alcohol.”

I didn’t even have the energy to joke around and say, “What?!”

I sank into the darkness of my pillow.

The moment the light hit my eyes, I felt like my brain was burning. A sharp headache shot through me, making me instinctively clutch my forehead. It swept away all my drowsiness and lethargy. All I felt was pain. I didn’t even have the energy to groan.

The pain gradually changed shape, losing its sharpness as if melting away in the sun. Losing its original form, it slowly spreads throughout the entire head, creating a soft, spongy cavity between the scalp and bone, where something seems to be bouncing around. A throbbing, regular pain, gan gan gan gan, like a pulse, flattening my brain.

“Is this… a hangover?”

My throat was parched, and my voice was cracking. My hands and feet felt heavy, as if filled with water. I twisted my body to escape the morning sun streaming in through the open window, and Meme-san was lying down. “……………………………” In the same futon as mine. Wearing a sarong over her swimsuit, just as I last saw her yesterday. With an innocent, snoring face. Right beside me. Sand had gotten into both her hands, not just her fingertips but even under her nails. The sand crumbled onto the sheets. For the time being, I calmly put my fingers under Meme-san’s body and rolled her over with a thud. “Gyaaa!” Meme-san cried out in a monotone voice and jumped out of the futon. Then, with a quick, unnecessarily annoying, swift movement, Meme-san recovered from her fall and slid into my side with a speed that was unbelievable for someone who had just woken up. Unable to bear the shadow cast upon me and her smiling face peering down at me, I braced my creaking body and sat up. I wobbled precariously, my eyeballs rolling restlessly.

I woke up in the morning to find a woman in my bed… And I’m certain that that moment was incredibly dull grey.

“Oooh, Mako-kun, you’re so energetic in the morning. Auntie’s aching all over from being worked over too hard last night.”

“Your futon is right there!”

I pointed to the futon still hanging vertically against the wall. Shit, she’s an upright person. By the way, Maekawa-san obviously wasn’t in the room. It looked like she had collected the liquor bottles too.

“Huh? Mako-kun, wasn’t that your way to try to get me to sleep with you?”

“Your attitude is so optimistic; it’s like your right and left brains are arranged vertically!”

When I raised my voice, the area between my throat and the back of my head throbbed with intense pain. I couldn’t lift my head and collapsed onto the futon. Somehow, the futon smelt like alcohol. I felt nauseous. How much did I drink yesterday? My memory was hazy from a certain point onwards, and I could barely remember anything. I think we talked about the school festival, though.

Was Maekawa-san okay? I mean, why did she even come here last night? Did she just want to try drinking and drag me along as if we were all in this together? Yeah, knowing her, that seems plausible.

“…… Huh?”

There was something written on my right hand that was pressing against my forehead. The lines were crooked; it looks like hijiki. “Help Mae-chan”… Who is Mae-chan? Maekawa-san? Help her, err, to do what?

Shit, I couldn’t remember anything, no matter how much I scratched my forehead.

“Here’s some Pocari. You’ll feel better after drinking it.”

“Ah, thanks…”

I took the plastic bottle that Meme-san held out in front of me as if I were grasping at a straw. I didn’t care that it was half-empty, and I put it straight to my lips. Glug, glug, glug, I gulped it down, pouring the lukewarm liquid into my parched throat. The sickly sweet liquid seemed to burn my throat even more, but I couldn’t stop tilting the bottle. I drank it all in one go, let out a long sigh, and stroked my chest as I calmed down.

Then, I suddenly realised something.

…Huh? What did she mean by “feel better”? Did she perhaps realise the symptoms I was experiencing? I instinctively turned to face Meme-san, and she was still smiling. Her eyes were like slits, revealing nothing and giving no insight.

That person… I wonder how much she really saw through me. I’ve never underestimated her, but my aunt was unsettling because I couldn’t see her depth. Usually, she just came across as childish or something, but sometimes she gave off a surprisingly mature vibe. And that image of maturity was exactly the same as the inexplicable awe I felt towards the adults who filled the streets when I was in elementary school and the admirable longing I felt for their attitude of knowing everything about the world.

To feel such things about a forty-year-old woman who was clearly in a swimsuit for no reason was nothing but humiliating.

“How are you feeling?”

“… Yeah, it seems I’m suffering from a bit of youth intoxication.”

For the time being, I never want to drink alcohol again, while I was still a young, carefree kid.

I was fine not being an adult yet.

• Drinking alcohol with Maegawa-san at night for the first time: +3
• The next morning, sleeping in the same futon as my aunt who was in a swimsuit: −3
• Drunken hangover: −1

Total current Youth Points: +9

Chapter 5 - When an Alien Who Traveled from Afar Comes Sightseeing at the Local Beach

Chapter 5 - When an Alien Who Traveled from Afar Comes Sightseeing at the Local Beach

I think I recall mentioning teacups. No, I meant last night. I remember rolling teacups around with Maekawa-san. I remember that, but I can’t remember why I used teacups as toys.

No matter how hard I tried to remember, the nausea in the pit of my stomach and the lingering pain in my head were so intense that my thoughts scattered in all directions like shattered glass. They injured the inside of my head as they passed by, yet they didn’t stop, escaping through my nose and ears. And then I was swallowed up by the sea that reached up to my shoulders.

“Ahhh,” “Uhhh,” “Nuhh,” “Bibanonnon”

After having breakfast in the banquet hall the next morning, the four of us were wading in the sea up to our shoulders. Our four heads swayed gently. One had a folded towel on her head, as if mistakenly thinking she was in a hot spring. Another had a straw hat. And the third had a parasol blooming on her head. They were Erio, Ryuushi-san, and Maekawa-san in that order. I wondered if they each used their respective features to adorn their heads. Only Erio remained a mystery.

Floating gently, our four heads drifted on the sea. All around, children, reluctant to see their summer holidays end, were swimming around, splashing water everywhere. But most of the adults stood there, their heads above the water’s surface.

If aliens were actually visiting as tourists and saw this scenery, I wonder what would they think?

“Since we took the trouble to come all the way to the beach, shouldn’t we immerse ourselves up to our shoulders in the seawater?”, Ryuushi-san suggested, so we’re swimming now. But to be honest, if we immersed ourselves up to our shoulders in the murky seawater, I wouldn’t be able to see the swimsuits below our necks, and it would feel like not being able to see cherry blossoms at a hanami.

“Niwa-kun, you’ve been spacing out for a while now. Are you okay? Is your head burnt to a crisp?”

“Weeell, I had a little trouble falling asleep last night, so I’m a bit sleep-deprived,” I said, to try to cover up my hangover.

The waves heading out to sea and my nausea synchronised, and it felt like I was going to throw up all at once. I bit my lower lip with my front teeth and tilted my chin up to make it all go back up to the bottom of my stomach.

“Maekawa-san, your eyes are popping out too.”

“Hmm, I stay up late now.”

Drawn in by a comment that made me worry about her mental faculties, I looked at Maekawa-san. For a moment, an awkward silence fell between us as our eyes met. Immediately afterwards, Maekawa-san covered her face with her parasol and sank into the sea up to her chin, disappearing into the distance.

Ugh, please don’t fuel my anxiety with that attitude. My memory of last night’s drinking party was hazy, and on top of that, seeing Maekawa-san’s avoidance reaction made my already wavering and nauseous heart lose even more its calm. Two high school students, a boy and a girl whose judgement was impaired by alcohol, were alone together at night. Looking back at it calmly, it’s hardly surprising a youthful boy evolved into a sexually charged boy and was made fun of. What happened? Did I evolve, or did I cancel my evolution? The scariest possibility was that I tried to evolve on impulse, but it ended up in failure. If I did evolve and had no memory of it at all, that would be a complete waste… no, not a waste. Ah, ah, how terrifying.

However, I could hardly believe that I, who got so emotionally invested and exhausted just from buying a single erotic magazine, could have taken such a bold step. Not with the help of alcohol. Maekawa-san wouldn’t tell me how much of last night’s events she remembered, and when dawn broke, all that remained was a mysterious message on my right hand and my first-ever hangover. But these two things proved that the drinking and Maekawa-san’s visit were not a dream.

Today, Maekawa-san, having learnt from yesterday’s blunder, apparently gave up on her crocodile costume. Reflecting on her actions, she was swaying in the waves dressed as a jellyfish… According to her, it was more breathable and water-resistant than the crocodile costume, making it suitable for summer beach activities. I vividly remember the lukewarm feeling when I exchanged glances with Ryuushi-san, with an expression that said, “What a strange direction for introspection…” She was using a parasol, but it was clearly a failed attempt at coordinating her outfit. Incidentally, the first time I saw Maekawa-san in her jellyfish costume, I mistook it for a squid costume because of its long, slender shape. When I said that, she was indignant, calling me rude. Hmm, the boundaries of a girl’s mood are always hard for a man to understand. Was it really okay to summarise the jellyfish like that?

“Lukewarm.”

muttered Erio, a towel on her head, as if complaining about the temperature of a hot spring. Did she think swimming in the sea was some kind of bath? Watching Erio’s strange behaviour made me feel a little depressed, as if I were seeing signs that she would adopt the same mannerisms as Meme-san in ten years. And then I imagined Erio’s child becoming Meme-san in twenty-something years… and I shuddered to myself at the thought of the Meme-san Matryoshka doll that awaited me in the future.

“Uryaaaa, splash splash”

“Ugh!”

Ryuushi-san suddenly doused me in the face with seawater. Some must have got into my right nostril, because the salty taste seeped into the back of my molars. I wiped the seawater from my skin with my hands, and then I said to Ryuushi-san as she was scooping up water with both hands like a ladle to douse me again:

“Why did you do that, all of a sudden?”

“I’m bored, so I thought I’d have a water fiiiight.”

“Huh? Didn't you reject that yesterday as an adult-san?”

Erio, who had initially suggested the water fight, nodded in agreement, “yes, yes”, lowering her chin with a protesting look.

“Well, that’s true, buuut. I then reconsidered it, because kids splashing around the water’s edge is the kind of thing we see in mangas, right?”

That wasn’t a nice way of putting it. The speech bubbles and lines were all jagged. “Okay, I’ll splash too,” “Splash!” Erio squirted seawater at me. “Mwaaa, I’m not gonna loooose,” “Gwah!” Ryuushi-san retaliated by splashing seawater at me. “Where should I aim for a high score?” “Gah!” Hey, this isn’t a target practice game. Even Maekawa-san joined in, enjoying splashing water on me. This wasn’t a water fight; it was a mass production of bullies. I had the naive hope that it would end quickly if I didn’t resist, so I stuck to my policy of non-resistance, but the attack continued for several minutes, “Splash, splash,” “Splish, splash,” “20 points, 30 points, aaah, the centre of the nose is 50 points,” and my heart ended up hurting more than my face.

As soon as the water splashing stopped, water dripped from the roots of my hair and my nostrils, and I started uttering words along with it. Girls + the sea + water splashing. How on earth did things go wrong to end up with my face soaked?

“Was it fun?” they asked after covering my face and hair in so much seawater that it looked like salt powder could be synthesised from it.

Erio exchanged glances with Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san, then shook her head expressionlessly.

“Somewhat lacking.”

If she had said something like, “I got chills seeing Cousin’s suffocating face,” it would have been a meeting between Meme-san and the Touwa family, but I was relieved that Erio still showed a healthy reaction. Speaking of which, Meme-san was still sleeping in her room. She must have been exhausted from making a ruckus all night, because she slept soundly on the futon I had been using without even having breakfast. Well, even if she were awake, she would probably spend the day saying, “Light is scary, ageing is scary, sakusaku,” so maybe it’s just right.

“By the way, Niwa-kun, I know this is a bit late to ask this, but…”

“Yes?”

“Which do you prefer, daikon or burdock?”

I was asked a nonsensical question. What’s the point of asking that now? And are daikon and burdock really comparable? They’re both root vegetables, but I’ve rarely met anyone who struggled to choose between daikon and burdock. I had absolutely no idea what was the intent of that question.

I wonder if she was planning to send a late mid-year gift to the Touwa family. daikon or burdock. If so, I should ask Erio or Auntie… Hmm, as usual, Ryuushi-san’s words and actions were quite profound. She’s a natural airhead, after all.

“Maybe burdock? It depends on how you cook it, though.”

I answered the question without reading between the lines, simply because I preferred the texture to daikon. Well, let’s see what happens.

“I seeeee. Niwa-kun, could you hold onto my hat for a bit?”

“Huh? Sure.”

I received her straw hat. It was unusual for her to wear a hat like this, considering how much she usually avoids showing her straight hair, even going so far as to coordinate a helmet with her yukata. When wet, the ends of her hair clumped together and became pointed like winter icicles. This gave her usually gentle features a boyish impression.

“Well then… *float*”

Ryuushi-san was floating on the surface of the sea, her limbs sprawled out like a starfish… Huh?

“Cousin, towel.”

“Huuh?”

“Puuuu”

Erio, who had seen this out of the corner of her eye, also pressed her towel against me and assumed the same drifting pose. As if basking in the intense sunlight. In Erio’s case, combined with her hair and fragile, pale skin, it looked as if she might just dissipate into the sea.

“Transfer student, would you like to wear this jellyfish costume instead?” “No,” I immediately replied.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to ask you to take my parasol.”

“Haaa,” I became a makeshift cloakroom. I put on the hat and the towel and grabbed the parasol. My head felt heavy.

“Wooow.”

Kurakawa-san was floating too. In her case, it was difficult to tell at a glance whether it was voluntary or because of the Sun, which is troubling. A giant jellyfish floating… If she gets sunburnt like this, would a clear jellyfish-shaped line form on her skin? I’d kind of like to see that. My curiosity was piqued from a different perspective than that of youth.

“……”

The three of them drifted aimlessly on the surface of the sea. They were swept away by the waves, occasionally bumped into each other, and when they were about to be carried out to sea, they frantically swam back to the other two. I just watched, or rather, observed them from the sidelines, holding the parasol by the sea. I sometimes vaguely thought to myself in the heat that the shadows that float on the surface of the sea are quite picturesque, but basically, I remained motionless. My head floating on the sea looked like it was trying too hard to be fashionable, and I was a little self-conscious of the stares I would be getting from those around me.

The three of them drifted aimlessly on the surface of the sea.

…Huh, what was this? Was this a silent challenge to a forty-year-old who was afraid of UV rays?

Was there any connection between daikon and burdock? Maybe girls turned into burdock when exposed to the sunlight? Though you’d never see burdock lying around on the roads, right? Putting such fantasies aside, how should I interpret her question? As people who’ve been kept in the care of the sea, their floating abdomen and the bulge of their chests were defenseless… I could still enjoy swimming in the sea like this, though. For some reason, I couldn’t get enough of that moment when they sank and resurfaced (except for Kurakawa-san).

As I gazed upon the range of their up-and-down movements, I was struck by a realisation.

The differences in how men and women were made were truly mysterious. Both physically and mentally.

It was so easy to tell when a man was in a good or bad mood, right?

What awaited them after their lazy and unproductive day at the beach wasn’t the departure time of the bus back home. The adults had planned to take the bus in the evening, arrive in town at night, and then head to Maekawa-san family’s izakaya, but there was still an event they had to attend before that, right here on this summer beach. Not that they had come on the trip specifically for that event, so there had no need to feel pressured.

“Zubizubaa”

“I’ve never seen anyone slurp down such a huge pile of cabbage before.”

Just like yesterday, Ryuushi-san ordered yakisoba at the beach hut, and Maekawa-san was astonished by the way she ate it. Kurakawa-san seemed more suited to the sea than Wanikawa-san, and was able to participate in conversations today. Her face was apparently red and chapped from being exposed to the sun and was stinging.

“Really? I see it often at my house, though.”

“Well, of course you do.”

Beyond mere astonishment, Maekawa-san gave a wry smile. Sitting next to her, I couldn’t help but laugh along with her, pressing the back of my right hand against the table. I was trying to hide the scribble, which looked like something a primary school student wrote to not forget something, so that no one would notice. To be honest, no matter how much I thought back about last night, I couldn’t remember what kind of promise I made, so I was at a loss as to what to do with it. I wanted to ask Maekawa-san, but I thought it would be better to do so once we were alone, so I put it off. That’s why I ordered a sandwich that I could eat without using my dominant hand and continued in this awkward posture. So far, no one pointed it out.

“Mmmmm”

Erio traded her cabbage for Ryuushi-san’s noodles and happily slurped down a noodle-heavy yakisoba, a rare sight at a beachside restaurant. As soon as she got out of the sea, she had pressed her palm to her cheek and said, “My face hurts.” If it had been her mother, it probably wouldn’t have ended with just sore skin.

The surfer guy, or “Safaao” for short, was still at the beach hut today. When we entered the shop and he took our orders, he greeted Ryuushi-san and Erio by saying, “I’ll be participating in the chanbara later this afternoon; be nice to me”. Ryuushi-san replied, “Is that soooo?”, and Erio, hiding behind me, just said, “Kay”. Both of them gave unenthusiastic responses, but Safaao didn’t give up. “I’m looking forward to it,” he said, happily tapping the cash register and serving customers using the showers.

“But what kind of event would a sports chanbara event be? It’s near the sea, so maybe the duel at Ganryuu Island?”

Responding to my joking question and introduction, Ryuushi-san, who had been happily munching on her cabbage core saying “It’s so sweet,” began to speak up: “At my elementary school, you know…” “We had something called a free-for-all, where everyone would fight together all at once. Sometimes we formed teams, and sometimes we didn’t.

Ah, those were the good old days,” she reminisced as she picked up some cabbage with her chopsticks.

“They would suddenly betray her allies and plunge them into a state of terror, right?”

“Yeah, that sounds like something she’d do.”

I nodded “yup yup” in agreement. In a way, Ryuushi-san’s principles of action might be similar to those of Meme-san.

The only difference was whether it was natural or calculated.

Well, now.

After finishing lunch, it was time to head to the beach. Those participating in the chanbara event gathered around the designated breakwater. There, huddled together, were the elderly men and women, their enthusiasm seemingly undeterred by the summer sun, complaining about the heat. I wondered if this group would be a success. Like the sports chambara old man, it seemed like a gathering of the chambara generation.

“Actually, most of the people gathered here are just on a local getaway.”

As promised, Safaao (not Safario) followed us from behind, and we also saw the ryokan’s waitress. Wearing a cooking apron, she was sitting on the embankment massaging the soles of her feet and had even brought her own katana. Except for Maekawa-san, all of us had also brought katanas given to us by the old man when we arrived at the meeting place.

“Ah, Mom.”

Erio happily pointed. In the direction she was pointing, Meme-san was there again, wearing someone else’s shirt, waiting under a parasol set up on the beach, some distance from the meeting place. It looked like she wasn’t planning on carrying her parasol with her today. A sign that read “Meme-tan Beach” was stuck into the ground next to the parasol. Don’t just turn this into your private property. She was standing there with her arms crossed and her legs spread wide in a strange way. Because of that, only her feet were sticking out from under the parasol as she basked in the sun. Was that okay?

Our eyes met, and Meme-san waved her hand enthusiastically, mainly towards Erio, saying, “Hiiiii!” Erio waved back excitedly and then started to run towards her mother. But Meme-san held out her hand and stopped her, “No, you must not!” acting like a tragic heroine.

“Don’t come! If you come now, Eri-chan I’ll end up sucking on your skin!”

Has there ever been a mother besides her who would say something like that? Hmm, maybe a vampire mother and child?… No, I could say with certainty that there wasn’t any. And by the way, a high school student whose 40-year-old aunt was involved in his life to the extent of being the heroine was also quite a rare breed; what a sad thing. You’re not only sucking the life out of your daughter’s skin, but also my Youth Points… Could that be why the wrinkles on your face are decreasing?

Erio groaned, “Uugh”, looking troubled, and glanced at me as if seeking my opinion. I ignored her and looked at Ryuushi’s face. Ryuushi-san looked confused, as if to say, “Eh? Me?”, and then looked back and forth between Erio and Meme-san. And with her eyebrows still furrowed, she pointed at Meme-san.

“Ch-chaaarge!”

“Waaah.”

Following Ryuushi’s command, Erio ran towards Meme-san. For some reason, Meme-san also let go of her parasol and started running, seeing her daughter come running towards her, ignoring her attempts to stop her. Both of them raised their arms, although Erio was limping and Meme-san was stretched out vertically, but they collided in such defenceless positions as if they were in a sparring match. Then, Meme-san unilaterally hugged her and rubbed her cheek against hers.

“Ukya, zu, zurizuri”

“Ugh, her smooth skin is glowing in the summer sunlight… Gyaahh, Meme-tan’s back, hyaaahh, in the liiiiight.”

Would calling her a “doting parent” be offensive to other doting parents?

Before the trip, she had said that she wanted to play with her mom at the beach, but I wonder if this was also part of that fun.

After watching the farcical embrace of the Touwa mother-daughter, Ryuushi-san said quietly:

“Touwa-san’s mother is a bit of a strange person, isn’t she?”

“Not just a little bit.”

If she absolutely needed to use the expression “a bit”, it should be as in “only a bit normal”.

“But you can really see how much she loves Touwa-san. I think that’s great.”

“Hmm, mothers like that…”

I tried to imagine my mother and me, who were living separately, embracing. I think I’d rather avoid this.

While the mother and daughter, both dressed in predominantly blue-toned outfits, were playing together, the sports chanbara old man from yesterday appeared on the beach, clutching in each hand something wrapped in a furoshiki. He sat down in a spot on the embankment, threw down the bundles with a grunt, and said, “Heave-ho!” He gave a brief apology to everyone, “Sorry to keep you waiting,” before taking off his hat and wiping the sweat from his surprisingly sparse forehead. Unlike Meme-san, the old man seemed unfazed by the sunlight.

“Hey, thanks a lot. I’m grateful to everyone for coming. It’s the first time it’s been this lively.”

The old man bowed, as if to say, “if nothing else.” However, I couldn’t help but feel that a sense of dejection was etched on his face that was incongruous with the noble words he was speaking. Was it perhaps related to aliens?

Today, he was wearing his homemade, failed-at-home, bread-shaped hat and dressed in clothes with colours that suggest an ominous omen. The old man untied one of the knots off one of his furoshiki and scattered sports chanbara katanas onto the sand. More than ten swords of various lengths and styles rolled around.

“You can use any katana you like, but it’s first come, first served. And over here you can take a helmet.”

As he explained, he untied the knot on his other furoshiki. Just as the old man had described, it was filled with colourful helmets. Helmets rolled around. They seemed to be designed for sports chanbara, protecting not only the head but also the face. They gave the impression of being a simplified version of a kendo mask. Wearing one in this heat and summer sunshine would probably make it difficult to breathe.

“Please take one helmet each. Once everyone has theirs, I’ll explain the rules and divide you into teams.”

The old man gave instructions, rotating his shoulders as he carried the heavy load. Since he was dividing us into teams, I wondered if he intended to have a free-for-all battle like Ryuushi-san had mentioned earlier. I exchanged glances with Ryuushi-san, who nodded in agreement, understanding the meaning of my gaze.

“I don’t know how we’ll divide up, but it would be great if we could all be on the same team.”

“Right.”

And together with Ryuushi-san, we’ll be cutting down old men and women, left and right.

“Can I join that team too?”

Suddenly, a strangely shaped shadow loomed over me from behind. Without even turning around, I knew it was the shadow of a jellyfish that had landed on the sandy beach, 179.9 centimetres long (self-professed), and capable of walking on two legs. I turned to face Kurakawa-san, recalling the image of the scholar who passionately argued that squid would dominate the land a hundred years from now. There it was, a jellyfish holding a parasol, a sight that could easily be used as the title of a short story. Noticing that her gaze had fallen to my right arm, I rose my hand to shield it from her eyes, but she immediately turned her face away. Hmm, how suggestive.

“By the way, Maekawa-san, can you swing a sword around?”

Ryuushi-san asked for confirmation in a suspicious tone. Maekawa-san scoffed at this.

“There are other ways to fight with a sword besides just swinging it.”

“Thrusting, huh?”

“No, no, maybe she’ll just toss it.”

“Now, now, you guys, don’t spoil the surprise right away.”

While we were talking, the elderly men and women in the front row were picking up helmets and katanas of their choice one by one. Some even took swords as long as spears.

As the participants chose their weapons, the chanbara-loving old man rubbed his lips and mumbled something. From what I could read, he seemed to be expressing his disappointment: “I guess there really aren’t any aliens after all.”

“…Of course, there aren’t any.”

Today too, Coincidence seemed to be a lost child with no inclination towards the elderly.

But even so, the sports chanbara old man seemed to change his attitude, and a defiant smirk played on his lips. He slapped his knee with his palm, and then, as if to encourage himself, made that simple declaration:

“Okay, let’s start.”

“This event will be divided into an alien team and a human team. Has everyone drawn their team?”

The sports chanbara old man checked the home-made lottery box covered in colourful paper, shaking it from side to side. Ryuushi-san and I already had in our hands our katanas, helmets, lottery tickets, and paper balloons to be used at the event. However, Ryuushi-san refused to wear a helmet, saying, “I have my own helmet,” and wore the yellow helmet she had brought in her bag at the ryokan that she used when cycling to school. Maekawa-san also refused to wear a helmet, “Because I’m a jellyfish,” and her head was covered by a semi-transparent costume. Sometimes, I wondered if Maekawa-san wasn’t embarrassed walking around outside in cosplay, but thinking about it calmly, I was probably the one who should be most embarrassed in terms of the stares we’re getting, being the only one in normal clothes among us.

Meanwhile, the Touwa mother and daughter were running around on the beach. For some reason, Meme-san was carrying Erio on her back and running across the sand in a desperate manner, shouting, “I’m going to be sore tomorroooow!” I left her alone, since she would probably run out of breath and collapse soon. Once he was satisfied that everyone had had their turn, the sports chanbara old man continued his explanation:

“Whoever has drawn a paper with an ‘A’ is an alien visiting Earth as a tourist, and whoever has drawn a paper with a ‘B’ is a misled Earth Defence Force member. The aliens will be given sashes. Please wear them so we can tell you apart from one another.”

What kind of setup was this? They unfold the twisted-open slips of paper, and each person checks their assigned number.

“And you Niwa-kun?”

“B” I answered, and then asked, “What about you, Ryuushi-san?”, Ryuushi-san sighed, “Nyoooo!” Unless she hated me so much that she couldn’t stand the thought of me breathing the same air within a 100-meter radius, I had to assume that Ryuushi-san was an alien from Team A. Hmm, have aliens recently learnt to use their charm to come to Earth? There were some aliens with keen insight who had their eyes set on high school girls and swimsuits. I was almost tempted to become friends with them and easily surrender Earth.

“Huuuh? That’s strange. Ryuko-san is supposed to have incredible luck with lotteries.”

She flailed her arms as if to express her displeasure. Was good fortune in this world somehow linked to muscles?

“Heh? So you have experience with lotteries?”

“I won fourth prize, a sugar bag, five times in a supermarket shopping lottery! And it was five times in a row!”

“Heh heh heh, how about that?” she asked proudly, thrusting out her palm and showing off her five fingers.

“That kind of thing is so like you, Ryuushi-san.”

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. Hmm, weeell, I guess I have about 24 different personalities inside meeee. Maaaaybe that just shows up in the lottery resuuuults.”

“How about that, hehehe,” added Ryuushi-san, beaming with pride. From behind, a katana was brought down upon her arrogant nose. “But I’ve won a third-prize frying pan set, you know.”

It was Maekawa-san. The shadow of a jellyfish was covering Ryuushi-san’s head. Ryuushi-san jumped up in an instant, turned around crying “Heaaah!”, and swung her katana horizontally. The blade whizzed past the jellyfish’s body.

“Well, getting five times the fourth prize is better than getting the third prize only ooooonce! I told ya I’m Ari-san swarming all over the place!”

“Some people believe that winning the top price once is more impressive than being the runner-up three times.”

“Mmmh mhhhhh.”

Ryuushi-san retracted her nose, which she had been holding high, and pursed her lips. After watching that, I asked Maekawa-san:

“Maekawa-san, in which team are you?”

“B, same as you, transfer student. Ah, Ryuushi-san is probably disappointed that I’m not in class A.”

“W-what? I’m not jealous of thaaaat! And I told ya I’m Ryuryuko!”

She asserted her name in a stumbling manner, as if her tongue hadn’t quite separated from the lower teeth. Ryuryuko-san, huh? She sounded like a child with a lisp trying their best to pronounce “Ruruko”. Hmm, not bad.

The person who made the comment didn’t seem pleased and immediately questioned the speaker.

“Who the heck is Ryuryuko?!”

It’s you.

“Now, now, Ryuryuko-san, calm down.”

“Why do slips of the tongue spread so quicklyyyyy?! What’s going on with Niwa-kun’s ability to absorb things like thaaaaat?!”

“Hey, you stupid couple over there, you’re too noisy. Listen to me!”

The sports chanbara old man scolded us. “Stupid couple” sounds five times worse than “idiot couple”. “Idiot couple” gives the impression of a couple engaging in idiotic behaviour, while “stupid couple” gives the impression of two stupid people being lumped together as a couple. I got lost in this thought, trying to hide the embarrassment of being treated as if I were part of a couple. I tried to push it deep inside, but the strong sunlight burnt my skin and dragged it out. Deep inside my burning skin, it felt like it was bursting with heat.

“I’m not a couple; I told ya I’m Ryuuko!”

Ryuushi-san, who was excited and prioritised momentum over consistency, offered a nonsensical counter-argument.

“So, it’s a match between aliens and humans, and the basic rules are no punching or kicking and no hitting with the hilt of your katanas. Well, it’s pretty much the same as regular sports chanbara rules. Also, don’t go too far into the sea; it’s dangerous. If both your feet are submerged in seawater, you’re out of bounds and disqualified. And this is more of a question of good manners than rules, but make sure you don’t bother other people who are swimming in the sea.”

Ignoring Ryuushi-san, who was bouncing around like a toy frog, the sports chanbara old man pointed to the gentle waves crashing onto the beach. Erio and Meme-san were still on the beach. But upside down. Meme-san was being carried on Erio’s back, her eyes rolling around with a groan, “Fuhiii”.

“The aliens win if they defeat the leader of the human team. Conversely, the human team wins by either wiping out all the hostile aliens or by protecting their leader until time runs out. However, if by the time limit more than half of the aliens haven’t been eliminated, it’s a draw. It’ll be boring if you just defend all the time, so be on the offensive. Fight. The judgement is based on that paper balloon you attach to your head. If it gets crushed, you lose. Even if it’s crushed by accident, you’re disqualified all the same, so be careful.”

After explaining that, the sports chanbara old man chuckled as if he had imagined something. So, in this team battle, the Earthlings were on the defence, and the alien team is on the attack, or rather, conducting an invasion? The way the winner was determined was now clear.

“You should definitely keep the leader of the human team a secret from the aliens. Also, there’s one alien on the human team pretending to be an ally. He’s a spy. The person who drew that role will do his best to deceive them and take down the humans.”

“That old man is saying some pretty outrageous things.”

“I think he could become friends with Grandma Tamura.”

Erio, who had appeared beside us without us noticing, chimed in. Meme-san looked exhausted, her hair hanging down like jellyfish tentacles and resting on Erio’s shoulder. She was receiving the full force of the ultraviolet light on her back, but it didn’t seem like she would melt immediately. Thank God.

“Cousin, switch places.”

“Hah?” swung I was forced to carry Meme-san. No, wait, don’t just hand her over so casually. While I was wide-eyed and bewildered, I was swept away and ended up carrying Meme-san on my back. Supporting the forty-year-old, which felt denser than Maekawa-san yesterday, made my legs stumble slightly. Furthermore, the tips of her hair tickled my shoulders, sending goosebumps all over. And when I became aware of it, there was some kind of bulge pressing against my back…

“…ha”

This was bad. If I let my guard down, I would find myself silently concentrating all my attention on that sensation. I’m such an idiot.

With her arms now free from Meme-san’s grasp, Erio swung them around in circles, smiling and peeking at me.

“Does Mom smell?”

“I’m going to bury her in the sand.”

“Cousin, which team are you on?”

“I’m an Earthling. And you?”

“Me too. We’re Earthlings, together.”

She happily bounced up and down. Looking down at her, for a moment, I really felt like Erio was like my daughter. Shit, don’t look at me with that innocent smile.

“Meow!”

Ryuushi-san also jumped up and down. However, the source of her jumping was an emotion that was the complete opposite of joy. And she didn’t realise that the lump of youth was bouncing along with her up-and-down motion.

“Ryuushi or something, are you an alien?”

“I told ya I’m Ryukorien!”

The new creature that was calling itself Ryuuko + Alien was fuming with anger. Out of the corner of its eye, Safaao and Nakai-san, both wearing helmets, were swinging their swords around.

“Incidentally, GMM is also an Earthling.”

“Whoaaa!”

With her lips still pressed against my shoulder, Meme-san on my back suddenly spoke. Was she awake? If so, I wish she’d stop clinging to me and let go. Her hair was incredibly itchy against my skin.

“What does GMM even stand for? It sounds like General Manager, but…”

“Great Mother Meme-chin”

Hey Mother, stand on your own two feet like a true great. When I let go of your feet and tried to throw you onto the sand, you clung on, yelling, “Guaaaah!” I had to admit I was being careless to not have anticipated this from such a large creature. Not only was she clinging on, but she was shaking my whole body. I couldn’t tell if what was clinging to my back was a koala, a monkey, or a konaki-baba.

“Aaaaiaih, aaaiaih, it’s Meeemeee-saaan!”

“There’s no one who doesn’t know that by now!”

She looked like a monkey. I was about to suffocate, so I reluctantly grabbed her legs and readjusted her position on my back. I wondered if my father would apologise to me if he saw this scene.

“I meeeean, I’m definitely being left out. You’ve been showing me too much disrespect lately, Niwa-kuuun.”

“I told you I’m not!”

“I told you not to say chuuni.”

It seemed like the yachuuni intensive training month would begin even before next month begins.

“Is Ryuushi or something being left out?”

“Ugu.”

Erio’s straightforward words made Ryuushi-san choke. Perhaps feeling sorry for her, Erio tentatively reached out and tried to stroke Ryuushi-san’s head, or rather, her helmet. But Ryuushi-san shook her katana sideways and chased him away, shouting “Nwiiiii!”

“I won’t accept charity from the enemyyyy! But if we’re talking about allies, well, we have Mickey!”

“That’s amazing!”

Maekawa-san, who probably didn’t know the local Mickey, was impressed by the monotone delivery.

Then the old man, who had been watching our exchange, called out to us with a look of exasperation:

“Are you guys ready yet?”

“Aah, yes, sorry for the ruckus.”

Why was I the one acting as the leader of this group? The older one clinging to my back sucked on my skin, screaming “Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

“You’re the loudest one! You have one hour. Alright, let’s begin! Come here, aliens!”

The sports chanbara old man shouted his wish to the sky at the same time he was giving his command.

Bentler, Bentler.

…Was it possible that power was somehow sublimated by beach chanbara?

As if to prove this point, a rather pathetic Space War intertwined with romance and youthful romance began.

And so the alien team scattered around the beach, and the game began.

This marked the beginning of a remarkably small-scale Space War.

The sound and suffocating smell swirled around, as if the soles of my feet were burning underfoot or as if the air itself was scorching. And then came the scent of the waves. The burnt smell and the salty taste mixed together, tormenting my sunburnt face. With each gust of sea breeze, it was as if the cells of my charred skin were crying out in pain and ecstasy.

And, as expected, the heat was doubled from wearing a helmet.

If I were to describe the area around the shimmering sandy beach in such heat, using a map of the town that Meme-san once created, it would roughly look like this.

It was not a bird’s-eye view, and the scale was rather rough, but it should be enough to get the location and direction right. Or rather, why was Meme-san so assertive even on a simple map? I was terrified that a private territory just for Meme-san was steadily being created in my mind. The parasol stuck in the sand in a deserted spot and the sign with “Meme-tan Beach” scrawled on it are burnt into my memory like symbols of this. I mean, where did she even find a sign like that?

“Seriously, please let go of my back already.” She was still clinging to me. Give me a break.

“Because Meme-tan’s a little bit sore.”

“Aren’t you sure it isn’t shijuukata?”

“Juuuu.”

“Okay, I get it, you have sore muscles. Stop sucking me.”

When Meme-san sucked on my back, the strength drained from the back of my knees, and I felt like I was going to collapse onto the sand. How terrifying.

“Well, what should we do now?”

The organiser of the town trip, who was a member of the Earthling team, turned his head as if searching for any scattered aliens. For the time being, the Earthling team had gathered in the centre of the beach, just as the map indicated. The group consisted of a skinny old man, a round old woman, a jellyfish, a self-proclaimed part-timer with light blue hair that emitted particles, and a high school student carrying his aunt on his back. A neatly categorised eccentric bunch. I’m sure it wasn’t just my imagination, but there didn’t seem to be anyone suitable for sports chanbara.

It was quite disheartening to see families and sun-tanned couples at the beach looking with strange or even mocking eyes at a group of people wearing helmets, carrying katanas, and with paper balloons attached to their heads.

“How about we split into two groups? One to protect the leader and the other to hunt down the aliens?”

The old man next to the organiser, who was wielding a spear-like weapon, made a suggestion. Ryuushi-san, the eye of the aliens they were going to hunt, shouted, “I’m going to invade Niwa-kuuuun!” and ran off towards the cave on the other side of the beach house. Ryuushi-san’s invasion. Me, being invaded. That was a little exciting. Wait, that’s not the right moment for that.

Safaao ran off with a grin on his face towards the cove beyond the hill. As for the other side, the only notable young people were the waitress, Ooi-san and her child. Among Ooi-san’s family, only the husband was on the Earthling team. So he was a little sulky. Maybe he should have been replaced by Ryuushi-san.

“Um…”

Since no one seemed to object to the spear-wielding old man, I decided to speak up. Everyone, pay attention. I spoke, thinking to myself that I didn’t really want to be seen carrying Meme-san on my back.

“As for who our leader is, isn’t it better not to reveal it to everyone here? Apparently, there’s a spy.”

Incidentally, the leader was the one whose slip of paper was marked “boss,” and no one else on the team was told who it was yet.

The old ladies around me agreed with my opinion, nodding along, “Humm, humm”. Apparently, old ladies generally went along with the opinions of younger people. The spear-wielding old man was groaning “Mmm”.

“But if we do that, you won’t be able to protect our leader.”

“If we’re too obviously trying to protect him, the aliens will know exactly who our leader is.”

“Yeah, that’s true. And it’s more fun to be on the offensive.”

Maekawa-san supported my opinion, waving her jellyfish tentacles from side to side. Maekawa-san on the offensive. An offensive Maekawa-san. How exciting. Wait, that’s not the right moment for that. However, her opinion was quite important.

Surely no one here was seriously aiming for the extravagant prizes that the sports chanbara old man was claiming to have. Besides, it was unclear how he planned to distribute prizes in a team competition. Therefore, most of the people gathered here, katana in hand, were probably just killing time until the bus arrived this evening. They wanted to swing their swords and fight an opponent. It was safe to say that very few were concerned with their team’s victory.

The important thing was whether they were entertained.

In that case, a purely defensive strategy wouldn’t be interesting. That kind of thinking probably ran deep within the old people’s minds. “Okay then, that’s fine,” the organiser nodded, and everyone’s opinion was in agreement.

“Even when fighting aliens, it’s best to always act in groups of three or more.”

The old man with the spear gave that warning. Sensing the atmosphere around him that suggested, “There’s a spy, indeed,” the old man with the spear scratched his cheek as if it were itchy.

“That’s what happened in the mystery novel I read the other day.”

“Oh, so there’s an original source for that?”

The organiser next to me casually patted the spear-wielding old man on the shoulder. I vaguely knew where that came from. I remembered reading something like that in one of the novels that Maekawa-san had recommended to me during summer holidays. I glanced at Maekawa-san’s face and saw that he was smiling slightly, so my guess was right.

“Okay, let’s form groups of three, then.”

One of the grandmothers gave instructions, clapping her hands like a gym teacher. Maybe she used to be a teacher or something. Erio flinched at what the grandmother said. She came over to me with hurried footsteps.

“Cousin, let’s team up!”

She pinched the skin on my elbow and demanded things like a child tugging at the hem of an adult’s clothes.

“Okay, but why are you so desperate?”

She shook her head vigorously from side to side. Her hair was disheveled as if to say, “I’m not that desperate.”

“Hmm, so you’re the spy for the aliens, aren’t you?”

I just said it on a whim without really thinking about it.

“N-no, I’m not. U-uh…”

The tiny creature, imbued with the colours of the universe, trembled with its neck retracted. Like a crystal ball submerged at the bottom of the sea, its shimmering light blue colour trembled, captivating my eyes. Looking at her like this, it was hardly surprising that some girls might view this as crossing a line and treat her with hostility.

“Don’t bully Eri-chan, Mako-kun.”

“Beeeh.”

A low, guttural sound like a goat’s bleating escaped my lips. Meme-san was clinging to my throat. “Yes, yes, I won’t bully her, I’m sorry,” I said, and she let go of my head partway through, so my pronunciation returned to normal. Erio was still nervous. But that was normal for her to be like that in front of other people, though.

“Transfer student, you’ve already formed a three-person group; what a shame.”

Maekawa-san kept a certain distance, observing us as if trying to probe us. Her ethereal movements were like a jellyfish drifting in a tank. In terms of morphological imitation, I would rate a jellyfish as the most accurate so far.

“No, it’s fine. You should come too, Maekawa-san.”

“We’ll be a group of four; is that okay?”

“Well, I mean this person isn’t counted in the headcount after all.”

I was talking of the person on my back. In my mind, it was not a human. Now came a sudden change of direction, turning it into a novel about a lazy youkai. No, no, please don’t do that, because my aunt would become the main character.

“Hmm… No, I’ll pass. We should enjoy some quality time together as a family.”

“Wait, I’m neither the chicken nor the egg in the oyakodon. I’m just the pickles that come with it.”

Maekawa-san’s gaze as she refused briefly shifted to my right hand. Wah, she was showing interest in it again. I’d rather the Sunday Special sponsored by Erio solve this mystery than the erotic magazines under the covers.

“Cousin, look at that.”

Erio stretched and pointed behind me. I turned around. “……Hum?”

A roar-like sound came from the stairs connecting the beach to the road. A hoarse cry of “Whoa!” followed by a surprisingly rapid advance. It seemed four armed alien old men were charging forward. The distance was too great for a surprise attack. They were easily visible, almost like a reckless suicide mission. But the fact remained that they were the ones who were boldly attacking. The signs of combat caused a slight unease among the Earthling team.

“A bookshop selling cacti, a street stall selling rice crackers? They’re all short-tempered people; it’s pretty obvious.”

They seemed to be friends of the spear-wielding old man, and they looked pleased as they checked each other out. The group of four old men running across the beach flew down the stairs and soon closed the distance to within striking distance of each other’s swords. The organiser and the spear-wielding old man took a fighting stance, swinging their katanas wildly to show their eagerness to fight. Judging from their attitude and reactions, these people are probably the leaders of the Earthling team. Let me tell you in advance, I’m not the leader either.

“What should we do, Cousin?”

“I don’t want to get dragged into a fight between old men that feels like the abrupt final battle of a cancelled manga. Let’s run away.”

“Mako-kun is the hero and I’m the heroine; it’s a love story of elopement.”

“Shut up, you hidden spirit.”

“Cousin and mom, together, am I intruding?”

“Enough, just come along!”

Don’t pout! Just what are you even jealous of?!

I readjusted my grip on Meme-san (why was I carrying her?!), and with Erio in tow, I headed towards the cave. I was curious about the whereabouts of Ryuushi-san and Safaao, who I suspected were hiding there. Especially Safaao.

I didn’t intend to jump in recklessly, but if I got closer I might be able to observe the situation.

Just before I started running, I called out to Maekawa-san, who was standing still with her sword drawn.

“Maekawa-san, are you really not coming?”

“Yeah. After this battle is over, I’m going to do a little autumn cosplay in my hometown.”

“Stop setting up these weird flags that I don’t understand.”

“Now, leave this to me; you go on ahead, transfer student.”

Maekawa-san, wielding both a parasol and a katana, added yet another flag to the list. She seemed to be in a great mood and having a lot of fun, and she raised both hands and almost fell over, so Erio pulled her back up, and in the end the four of them escape. Can we really entrust that to them?

“As usual, sorry about everything, transfer student. *cough cough*”

“You promised not to say that, didn’t you?”

This was the kind of exchange that I should ideally be having with Meme-san who I was actually carrying as a burden, but instead, she was happily saying things like “Hey, pretty girl,” and creating a fluffy, happy atmosphere. That person was hopeless.

As we moved away from the centre of the beach, we heard the sound of old men fighting behind us.

Of course, there was absolutely no bloodshed, only gentle sounds like smacking and popping.

A peaceful Space War, for crying out loud.

Well, when I said “running away,” I didn’t mean it was serious enough to warrant a full-blown escape, so what should we do?

What should the teacup do? …Huh, the teacup?

I ran around aimlessly and decided to sit down, leaning against the trunk of a tropical-looking tree (I don’t know its official name; it was not a palm tree) growing on a hill next to a beach hut, and take in the view of the wartime beach. “Gyaaa! You’re stuck, you’re stuck, Mako-kun, you’re grinding against the tree!” I was doing it on purpose.

Erio also plopped down beside. Maekawa-san remains standing, leaning against a tree, glaring at the sandy beach with a dignified expression. It would make a nice picture if it weren’t for the jellyfish. If only her tentacles weren’t swaying.

“Oh, they’re fighting!”

The old men were clashing katanas so fiercely that it looked like a cloud of sand and dust would be kicked up. The sight of the old man with a sash and the old men with bare torsos fighting was like dried bonito flakes dancing on a hot plate. The old man with the spear seemed to be out of breath, already tired from swinging it around. The sandy ground was probably contributing to his fatigue. Two old men with short chanbara katanas were fighting each other energetically, almost at point-blank range. They were slashing at each other’s bodies as if ignoring the paper balloons on their heads, in a no-holds-barred, open-handed battle… Looked like fun.

“Gyaaa, Grandpa, do your best, Gyooo!”

I sandwiched the girl, who was acting like an idol and cheerfully cheering, between a tree and my back and rubbed her hard. Wooow, aunts sure make surprisingly good cushions. The death throes of the ghost behind me were the worst background noise, though.

“Ryuushi or something is not here.”

Erio looked around, especially towards the rock face, searching for Ryuushi-san’s whereabouts. Erio had better eyesight than most people. Perhaps it was because she was always looking up at the sky, wanting to see the stars.

“What, you want to have a chanbara fight with Ryuushi-san?”

“Settle yesterday’s score. Bwooon Bwoooon.”

Erio swung her sword with sound effects. With particles seemingly emitting from her hair, it almost seemed like she could actually wield the Force. There was no denying that mystique about her. Yet, when she became Smakin, she instantly became a symbol of powerlessness. What a stark contrast. Even advanced ski slopes would be surprised.

“If we keep saying Ryuushi, she’ll probably come over.”

Maekawa-san interjected with a slightly mischievous smile. Indeed, we could summon her in this fashion. She’ll probably come over saying yatchuuni… Maybe the Ryuushi-san trap wasn’t just a dream after all.

“If Touwa and Ryuushi are rivals, then I guess I’d be the hairdresser’s opponent.”

Declared Maekawa-san with a defiant expression, glaring at the chaotic battle on the beach. With her tall stature and sharp features, one would think she could find a way to make the most of them if she were in the drama club.

“Does the hairdresser have some kind of history with Ooi-san?”

“Not at all. If anything, she has nothing but gratitude for her.”

“Then there’s no need for them to confront each other?”

“It wouldn’t be interesting if all we had were Ryuushi’s rivals… Ah, or perhaps…”

Maekawa-san’s words stopped there. A rustling sound of swaying leaves echoed above my head. The sound wasn’t brought about by a uniform force like wind, but rather by friction occurring at a single point. It was similar to the feeling of some animal moving around. I exchanged glances with Maekawa-san, then raised my chin and strained my eyes to try and figure out what it was… Ah?

I made eye contact with Ryuushi-san, who was leaping between trees, her feet firmly planted on two trees with long strides.

I spotted Ryuushi-san, and I was taken aback by her unexpected appearance. We both froze.

“Meow! Bwooon Bwooon!”

Immediately afterward, Ryuushi-san, whose paralysis had subsided before mine, jumped down from the tree and attacked. She spewed some kind of Force sound effect from her mouth and swung her katana down. “I’m taking you all down, I told ya I’m Ryuuko!” I rolled sideways, hitting my back against the tree trunk, and narrowly dodged her attack. In the process, I dragged Erio, who was sitting, down with me. And then, one more thing happened.

Ryuushi-san’s high-altitude blow grazed the paper balloon that had been stuck to Meme-san’s head, causing it to deflate. Just like her childlike features, the air and contours of her face warped.

“Ah, that’s probably the first person to be disqualified.”

When I pointed it out, Meme-san started flailing her legs like a child and kicked me in the side.

“Eeeh? It’s already over for Meme-tan?”

“What were you even planning to do in the first place, clinging to someone’s back? See, you’re disqualified, so get off.” With a thud, I finally succeed in exorcising the spirit in my back. “Aiyaaa!” Meme-san rolls on the ground.

If this is what the Heisei era Vagabond was, then it would be easy to turn all of humanity into Vagabonds.

“Meme-san wasn’t the leader, was she?”

“I am indeed the queen who rules over Mako-kun, his aunt’s slave.”

I ignored her. Ryuushi landed swiftly on the ground, regained her balance, and triumphantly chuckled and acted creepy as she said, “One down, hieh hieh hieh.” But what welled up inside me was certainly not fear. “Thank you for the help!”

“No need to feel grateful. This is revenge for the disrespected Ryuuko-san.”

She shook both her arms wildly with a “bzz buzz” sound as she criticised me. This isn’t a play, you know. Or rather, this isn’t revenge. It was rare to find someone who suited such an expression so little. Probably because of her cheeks, which looked completely devoid of any fighting spirit.

“The fact that I am meeting with Niwa-kun during my revenge is just like Rolio and Julie!”

“Who the hell are these? Seriously, who?”

“Huh? Or was it Romy and Julietta?”

“Are you referring to Romeo and Juliet?”

“That’s it. Niwa-kun and I are fated rivals!”

She pointed the tip of her katana with a sharp, decisive motion. Was that the kind of relationship Romeo-san had? But I did remember that at the end, both the man and the woman were on the ground, having killed themselves. Was Romeo a shounen manga or something?

“Ryuushi or something, here I stand, in front of Cousin.”

Erio, who had been caught up in the fall and had rolled on the ground, had got up and held her katana in a middle stance. Mhh, Ryuushi-san was also pointing the tip of her katana at Erio. It was a scene of a Space hamster vs. an Earth rabbit.

I wonder what was caused the conflict between humans and aliens? Love, obviously. No, wrong.

The two slowly closed the distance between them… huh? Wait, where did Maekawa-san go? I looked around; ah, there she was. She had gone around a tree and was now standing right behind Ryuushi-san.

“Hah!”

Ryuushi-san turned around, reacting in the style of the shonen manga she had been reading recently. She instinctively ducked, narrowly avoiding Maekawa-san’s piercing thrust that was aimed at her side.

“Huh? I missed. You have good intuition, Ryuushi.”

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko! Attacking from behind is cowardly, Maekawa!” “Yaa!” “Nyowaa!” While Ryuushi-san turned towards Maekawa-san, Erio from behind aimed at her head. Ryuushi-san twisted her body and managed to dodge that as well. She turned around. “I told you, from behind is cowardly!” “Taa!” “Nyoi!” Maekawa-san’s thrusts from behind continued. She narrowly escaped like a Pop-up Pirate, and the game continued. Should I join in too? With a cheer…

“Wow, Ryuushi-san, you’re so popular!”

I cheered her on. Ryuushi-san, who kept dodging by bending her waist and knees, turned around in between them. “I, told, ya, I’m, Ryuuko!” She dodged Erio and Maekawa-san’s simultaneous attack by arching her upper body in a limbo-like manner. She then raised her katana to deflect Erio’s hand and, using the momentum of the strike, continued to roll backward, making her escape between the two of them. She rolled over and over on the dirt, crashing into a tree trunk and coming to a halt. “Ouch,” she said, rubbing her waist, but she quickly recovered with a “Yaaah!”, raising both hands.

“As expected of a sports-orientated type.”

Muttered admiringly Maekawa-san, who seemed tired from moving around and was out of breath.

“Ryuko-san won’t die until she makes Niwa-kun her private property!”

Barked Ryuushi-san. Her thinking was just like that of that adult-child. But oddly enough, she could be forgiven for that one! Oh, come to think of it, where was Meme-san? Like a cicada’s moulted shell that has fallen to the ground, she had vanished from sight. Just in case, I checked the sky above where Ryuushi-san had appeared, but there were only leaves swaying in the breeze.

“Hmm, but that dream of yours can’t come true.”

Maekawa-san twirled her katana around like the index finger of the Black Salesman as she offered a strange counter-argument. Ryuushi-san, Erio, and I all tilted our heads in confusion.

“Because…”

She paused, or perhaps hesitated, as she averted my gaze. Her eyes were fixed on my right hand, which was gripping my katana. My right hand… The moment a realisation struck me like an electric current, and Maekawa-san’s words exploded first.

“Because I was the one to mark the transfer student with my spit first!”

At that moment, time seemed to stop only on the hill adorned with tropical trees. The noise and sand drifted across the hill on the sea breeze, creating a crunching sound as if something were crumbling. I felt dizzy hearing an old man on the beach shouting, “I’ve got him!” as if it were happening in a foreign land across the sea.

“What the hyell are ya talking abouuuut?!”

“Oh, same here: what the hell are you talking abouuut?!”

I had absolutely no recollection of that! That was not just sacrilegious; it was completely ridiculous!

When she said “spit” was she talking about this scribble? W-what was I supposed to help her with? Ugh, my hangover, which had started to subside, was coming back. The headache was especially bad.

There was only one person in this situation who remained unfazed or didn’t understand the meaning of what was going on.

Erio.

“If we’re talking about spit, it’s my mom who was the first to mark Cousin with it.”

“What?!”

This time, it was Maekawa-san’s turn to be shocked. Her spit? Ah, well, yes. She really made my thighs all sticky, with real spit. But don’t say things like that in a complicated situation! It will cause a lot of misunderstanding among the public!

“Transfer student, leave this fight to me and go on ahead.”

“Why are you acting so serious?! I mean, where am I even supposed to go to, and what is that talk about spit?! Plus, you tried that line earlier, and it failed!”

“Ah, right. I don’t want this to fall over and break, so could you hold onto it for a bit?”

Maekawa-san, who usually ignores what people say, quickly made a request. She took her cell phone from inside her jellyfish body (there seemed to be a storage space there) and tossed it at me. It was unexpected, but I managed to catch it in my hand without it hitting the ground. After confirming that I had caught it, Maekawa-san lowered her chin.

“It’s probably more convenient if you have it, transfer student. The chance encounters that you bring are important.”

“Well, actually, there’s a more important matter, or rather, a bombshell, that’s still to come up.”

“It’s fine! Now, leave this to me!”

She made this declaration for the third time, holding her katana like a fencing sword. She must have really wanted to say that.

“Whaaaat the hell is going oooon?!”

Ryuushi-san, who had been silent since the “What the hyell are ya talking abouuuut” incident, erupted. She tried to charge at me, but Maekawa-san steped in her way and thrusts her katana forward. Ryuushi-san slammed on the brakes and dodged it by a hair’s breadth. Oh, what a shonen manga-like exchange. Although it was an absurd development that I was the one being protected, and the one protecting me was a jellyfish.

“Get out of the waaaay! I have a lot to say to Niwa-kuuuuun!”

“Then you’ll have to defeat me first, right?”

She really seemed to be getting into character. Since she always liked cosplay, I guess she had a strong desire to fully embody her characters. She might be more suited for the drama club than the art club.

Anyway, moving on.

“So, I’m going to get out of here so things don’t get any more complicated!”

“Yeah, I’ll follow you as soon as I’ve dealt with Ryuushi!”

Another unnecessary flag raised! “I told ya, I’m Ryuuko!”

And so, Ryuushi-san who was completely out of control, and Maekawa-san clashed head-on.

I trust in the fact that Maekawa-san’s courage will save the world…! With that kind of dramatic flourish, I threw the responsibility onto her and jumped off the hill onto the beach. Erio followed me like a baby bird. After all, Maekawa-san’s bombshell statement had caused Ryuushi-san to almost explode, so let’s let her reap what she sowed.

“Cousin, are you running away again?”

“I think it’s better to save face for Maekawa-san.”

Even as I answered, I couldn’t help but feel that something was off. Something was strange, and questions lingered in my mind about her actions. Leaving aside the aliens, I wondered if the sports chanbara old man had really expected things to unfold this quickly.

I felt I was being drawn to something. I don’t know if it was inevitable or accidental, but it felt like “it” was accelerating our progress because it’s there, because it’s something that could happen. This is what I felt. And then there was this cell phone that was handed to me. What was her intention when she gave it to me? It felt like this phone was connected to the true nature of whatever was swirling in the sea. With this delusion in mind, I started running.

…But I guess Maekawa-san really trusted me. To just hand me her cell phone like that.

A little further on from where we got off, a skirmish had broken out among some elderly women near the beach huts. They were fiercely fighting, refusing to be outdone by the elderly men, and even exchanging insults. Women are scaryyyyy. Among the elderly women was Ooi-san’s family. Ooi Tooe had her daughter on her shoulders, clinging on desperately to avoid falling. Ooi-san seemed hesitant to wield his katana against the mother and daughter. With a bewildered expression, he continued to dodge Ooi-san’s katana and retreat.

“What a kind husband, unable to attack his cute daughter and wife!”

“I can’t do it; it’s impossible! Hitting my family is just not an option!”

“I wonder what ‘he’ would do. He’d probably be merciless against me. That would be just like him.”

“Don’t talk about your ex-boyfriends!”

“Ugh, shut up, he wasn’t a boyfriend, just a one-sided crush!”

“Fu, fuuu”

As I ran past the elderly women arguing, I overheard their conversation. A heartwarming marital spat? I tilted my head and watched their argument out of the corner of my eye for a few seconds… Wait, both of their paper balloons had already burst. Yet, they seemed to be continuing to fight with their chanbara swords.

What a bunch of weirdos, I thought, laughing at the sight of the daughter clinging to her mother. Ooi-san’s sidelong glance caught my laughing face for just a moment, and a smirk spread across her lips. But only for a split second.

Immediately afterwards, a shadow appeared from behind, speeding towards us. It was moving with such force that it looked like it would kick up a cloud of dust in its wake.

“W-alk-ing!”

Despite what she shouted, Ryuushi-san was running after us at full speed. She was supposed to be a one-sword style swordswoman, but she had two katanas in her hands and was running with them raised.

“Oh? She’s already after us.”

It seems Maekawa-san lost, judging from her absence and the fact that Ryuushi-san’s paper balloon didn’t burst. To be honest, even with all that boasting, I couldn’t imagine Maekawa-san winning.

Erio also sensed Ryuushi-san’s presence, or rather, her shout, and turned around. She stopped in the middle of the beach, near where the old men were fighting, and raised her katana. It seemed she intended to confront Ryuushi-san here and now. Ryuushi-san reacted to this, giving direction to her previously aimless charge. She aimed at Erio, kicked off the sand, and dashed past the old women’s fight.

What should I do? Should I just watch this emotionally charged intergalactic match between rivals who have formed during this trip? I stopped walking and looked around, lost in thought. “Ah.”

Meme-san, who had disappeared at some point, was now standing under the parasol at “Meme-tan Beach,” with her legs spread wide, just as she was before. Her gaze was fixed on Erio, who was brandishing a katana.

Not wanting to interrupt their duel, I moved away from Erio. Just as I began to leave, Ryuushi-san ran up to Erio and stepped onto the sandy beach, unleashing a swift sword strike. Erio dodged the vertical swing by leaping backward, and Ryuushi-san and I glared at each other, both groaning “Ugaah”.

On a side note, Maekawa-san hasn’t come out of the woods at all. I wondered if she had collapsed from exhaustion after her fierce battle with Ryuushi-san (using a chanbara katana). This was the kind of thing I was thinking about. Or, knowing how much she liked acting, maybe she meant to play it like a fictional war-like scene.

“Bweeeeen, shooown”

“Bubwooon, bwiiin”

Ah, both produced some kind of lightsabre sounds. With their mouths. And Ryuushi-san, wielding two katanas, made the first move.

“Shubah! Bwooon Bwooon!”

“Gyioiiin, Clang, clang!”

If it were a Force-powered sword, you’d expect it to make crackling or electrical sounds rather than metallic ones, though.

I hurried away from the two fighting girls and headed towards Meme-san. Meme-san greeted me with a smile that was a little more mature and warm than usual. There was a sense of ease and warmth in her expression.

“If it isn’t Mako-kun, your aunt’s slave?”

“Please enslave your nephew so naturally.”

Despite that, her lines were completely Meme-san-like. Aaah, right, I remember now; she was aiming for a moe-gap effect. When I tried to use the shade under the parasol, Meme-san pushed me back.

“This beach under the parasol is occupied by Meme-tan, so only I am allowed in there!”

She blocked my way, spreading both arms out to the sides. At that point, the mature Meme-san I had perceived about her vanished, and her usual, boisterous self was revealed.

“Besides, Mako-kun is young, so he can just get a tan in the sun!”

She asked me to stay in the sun, as if to say, “Burn, you bastard!” I thought to myself, “Even if I don’t mind getting sunburnt, the heat has nothing to do with age,” and took a step back from the parasol to stand beside it.

…I was really becoming like a slave, or at the very least, acting like Meme-san’s attendant.

“Gakkyaaaan!”

“Tooon, tooon!”

With mysterious sound effects uttered, the two engaged in a flamboyant battle. The way they swung their katanas in circles resembled firecrackers. It was as if Ryuushi-san was chasing the trail of particles emitted by Erio’s light blue hair. Making full use of her dual-wielding style, Ryuushi-san attacked with a flurry of blows, while Erio was mostly on the defensive.

However, Erio gave no impression of being overwhelmed. The supernatural energy emanating from Erio when she was not wrapped in a blanket overwhelmed others to a greater or lesser degree. Her unique appearance defied the impossible and common sense.

Ignoring how out of place Erio was on the beach, Meme-san narrowed her eyes with a fond smile.

“She looks happy, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah. I think that trip was worthwhile.”

“Did you see how excited Erio was?”

“Yes, yes,” nodded Meme-san. At the same time, Erio knocked one of Ryuushi-san’s katanas away. She swung her own katana sideways, as if to give a boost to the sword Ryuushi-san had just finished swinging, deflecting it.

“Whaaaat?!”

“Whuuuut!”

Ryuushi-san, undeterred, ignored her dropped katana and attacked Erio. Erio’s eagerness to receive the attack was, contrary to her own determination, rather comical, drawing laughter from the onlookers.

Ryuushi-san, undeterred, ignored her dropped katana and attacked Erio.

“Erio rarely brought friends home, even when she was in elementary school.”

“…I see.” I kind of understood. It was hard to imagine her hanging out with friends in her room.

“Even when we went on family trips, Eliott wasn’t there, so she only played with me.”

“……”

Eliott. Erio’s father. I wondered if he had light blue hair and particles like Erio.

“That’s why it’s refreshing to see her playing with someone other than me. It’s a relief. Kyaaa, Eri-san, over there! Cut her down with a diagonal slash from the right!”

“Please don’t act like an adult and a child at the same time…”

She was bouncing up and down, waving her hands dramatically, cheering for Erio. She switched gears way too quickly. Well, I guess both are sides of Meme-san. I bet she has always been like this, being Erio’s big cheering squad at school sports days. Just imagining that scene, I could imagine how loud she was: “Kyuaaaaaaa, Eri-chaaaaan!” Shut up! She’s so undeniably loud. Erio, of course, noticed Meme-san cheering and was distracted. She kept glancing towards the parasol, like a child at a parent-teacher conference.

“Um…”

Suddenly, a voice called out to me from behind in a monotone tone. I hastily turned around to see the ryokan’s waitress standing there. She was holding a katana of the same type as mine and wearing an orange sash over her apron. The alien, whose balloon was still intact, was staring at me with vacant eyes, as if suffering from the heat.

“I believe it was admirable of me not to launch a surprise attack.”

“Though you are forcing respect on me.”

She seemed to have a unique sense of timing, making it difficult to gauge her personality. The waitress pointed her katana at me.

“Nobody wants to fight me, so you’ll do. Let us duel.”

“What an honour.”

I answered half-heartedly, wondering what to do. But if I continued to watch over Erio with Meme-san, it seemed like we would end up looking like a married couple, and I wanted to keep away from that.

Therefore, I nodded at the waitress who had defied me to accept her challenge. Instead of starting here, the waitress’ feet were heading towards the cove. I followed her unguarded back and began to walk.

From behind, Erio and Ryuushi-san’s shouts could be heard intermittently once more.

But how strange; usually the protagonist fights someone important like Ryuushi-san, but my opponent is a waitress who’s clearly just a supporting character for this trip. Hmm, does this mean that Erio is the main character of this trip after all? Or is Ryuushi-san just a supporting character?

“Mako-kun, do your best in response to your Honey’s sweet cheering!”

“That would give me heartburn. I’ll pass.”

I casually waved at Meme-san. Just focus on cheering for your daughter.

The waitress’ steps were leisurely, and there was no sense that a katana duel was about to take place. It felt more like she was guiding us to a secret place only the locals would know about. We were moving further and further away from the clamour of the elderly man and woman, Erio’s group, and the arguing couple. After we reached a place where we could look up at the hill lined with trees, the waitress stopped and turned around. She stood with her back to the cliff face below the hill, holding her katana. Her indifferent attitude hadn’t changed in the slightest.

“Let’s go!”

“What a monotone delivery. Are you really going to fight?”

“No, I have absolutely no such intention.”

“Hah?”

Just as I was taken aback by her denial, something began to loom over me. A shadow from above. The shadow took the shape of a human. It took off from the hill, leaving me wide open. In its hand, of course, was the katana used to fight at sea, and it swung down towards my head. Only after understanding all of that did I finally jump back to the side. To be honest, I think I was too late. If I hadn’t been unlucky enough to slip on the sand, the paper balloon on my head would have popped. I couldn’t possibly think, “Phew, that was close,” since I hit the side of my head without even being able to break my fall and ended up covered in sand. Sand got into my ear canals; it was burning.

“I believe it was admirable of me not to launch a surprise attack myself.”

Having completed her role as a decoy, the waitress lowered her guard and began to praise herself. Beside her, Safaao the alien who had jumped down from the hill, was half-crouching with his eyes closed, enduring the pain and saying, “My legs are numb…”

Strangely, there was no paper balloon on Safaao’s head. Not even a broken piece remained.

As I sat up, I questioned the older guy who was my nemesis (?).

“… Is that the latest craze up in Space? To attack by jumping down?”

Well, it would be inappropriate if aliens crawled out of the ground, but still. He lifted his knees, which he had been resting on, and brushed the sand off his body. In the meantime, the waitress took the paper balloon off her head and handed it to Safaao, saying, “Here you go.”

“Actually, my balloon had already been popped by a group of old men. The one I was just wearing belongs to this tanned guy. Since there is no rule against transferring balloons, this shouldn’t be a problem.”

The waitress grinned, her expression still gloomy, and she puffed out her chest proudly. Well, the rules that the sports chanbara old man explained were pretty haphazard anyway. One could run wild and break the rules as much as they wanted. For example, I suppose you’d be disqualified if the balloon burst due to a sudden strong gust of wind.

“Anyway, I’ve completed the job I was asked to do.”

The waitress said to Safaao. Safaao, forcing a smile while holding his leg with one hand, rose his right hand in response, saying, “Thanks, thanks.” Ah, I think I could easily pop this guy’s paper balloon now.

…Does this kind of thinking detract me from being a protagonist’s character?

“The surprise attack failed; I’m saved.”

I grinned at the waitress, smiling as if she were a friend. The waitress didn’t particularly respond but left with a sales pitch, “Please come visit our inn next year!” and swiftly ran off towards the beach. Come to think of it, there weren't any rules against helping someone whose balloon burst and was disqualified; that was a close call. I didn’t have the basic physical strength to act like Ryuushi-san in a two-on-one situation.

The waitress’ figure disappeared from the vicinity of the hill, and now it was Safaao’s turn. Perhaps the numbness in his legs had subsided since he leapt a step back, moving out of the range of my sword. I had a strong feeling that this was going to turn into a one-on-one duel against Safaao. Safaao laughed defiantly and slapped his tanned upper arm with his palm.

“I really wanted to fight against you, so I’m glad we ended up on different teams, whether by coincidence or not.”

“Coincidence, huh?” It was a little hard to consider this a wonderful thing, given all the circumstances.

This guy had a similar vibe to Nakajima, whom I met through amateur baseball. Should I use Oojima or Kojima as his pseudonym?

“If I win this duel, you’ll have to introduce me to one of you two girls.”

Safaao smirked, his lower lip twisting with ulterior motives. His laugh was more like Kojima than Nakajima, who had a girlfriend. Sorry to all the Kojimas across the country. And this is completely irrelevant, but “Shitagokoro Mansai” sounded like the name of an old samurai. I was spending quite some time thinking about completely irrelevant things.

“Actually, I have three girls.”

It was obvious who he had omitted, but he deliberately pointed it out and made a correction:

“I’m not into girls who dress up as jellyfishes or crocodiles. Like cosplay and such?”

Hoh, that guy has no taste. Although, even if he had nominated Maekawa-san, I had no intention of introducing him to her. I didn’t have the right to do so. The same went for Ryuushi-san and Erio. Meme-san would be acceptable, though.

“…And what would I gain from winning?”

“You’ll be protecting your girls from me! You’d be the knight of the beach!”

So basically no winning prize for me, right? If I had to explain that I made a bet where if I lost I would have to introduce one of the girls to Safaao, I’d probably get yelled at. Including by Maekawa-san, who had been disrespected. Despite dressing the way she does, Maekawa-san was the type to get angry when she wasn’t treated like a girl.

“Come on, it’s fine, it’s just for entertainment. Besides, you can only date one person anyway. Don’t keep people around if you have no intention of dating them. It’s because of people like you that there are so many single leftover men and women out there.”

There were so many things I wanted to deny. I wasn’t dating anyone, seriously. But before I could say anything, the sound of Safaao’s footsteps on the sand became louder. A strong stomp that drowned out the sound of waves, and a blue-bladed katana swung down. My katana was so flimsy that I had no choice but to dodge, as blocking with my blade wasn’t an option. I jumped backward, and Safaao attacked me again in quick succession. His eyes were bloodshot.

“You bastard, you surround yourself with girls so easily and don’t even try to pick them up!”

“Are you resentful? Jealous? Which is it?!”

“Both!”

Safaao’s swung his katana at the same time as he shouted. Gathering momentum with his right leg as I leaped backward to dodge, I instead lunged into Safaao’s embrace. He thrust forward to maintain his momentum, but the angle was shallow. The tip of my katana aimed at his paper balloon hit Safaao in the forehead through his helmet.

Safaao wasn’t intimidated by that. However, he had closed the distance too much, making it difficult for both of us to attack each other with our katanas. So Safaao tried to create some distance. I moved forward to match his retreat.

“Heeey, get away from me. We’ll never be able to break free like this.”

“Honestly, I don’t have a reason to fight, so I can’t bring myself to be proactive.”

“Oh, so you can quickly introduce me to a girl then?”

“And if we don’t fight, our bet won’t even be valid to begin with.”

“Wah, you’re a complete wimp.”

Safaao looked at me with an expression of disbelief. I wanted to retort, “Well, I have other reasons,” but I voluntarily refrained from saying it. Safaao took another step back, and I continued to advance, matching his pace. Safaao was taller than me. We continued our close-range stare-down, looking up and down at each other.

The sounds of the exchanges of blows and the distant clamour subsided, and only the sound of footsteps crunching on the sand echoed below the hill. Safaao wasn’t just retreating straight back but gradually shifting his angle to the right. I noticed this, but I tried to keep him from getting too close. I’d learnt from our previous exchange that Safaao would win in a head-on fight. So I was thinking of a way to turn the tables, but the only thing I could come up with was to run and call for help. But even a coward like me couldn’t do that.

Having a rival who looks like a desperate college student working part-time at a beach hut was so typical of me, wasn’t it?

For me, a youthful man’s ideal partner was an Earthling.

I’ll leave dealing with aliens covered in white tights or something to those self-proclaimed aliens.

Safaao walked halfway around the beach, leaving me with my back to the wall. And then he declared:

“I’d like you to introduce me to the girl with the light blue hair. What kind of hair dye does she use?”

“It’s her natural hair.”

“That’s amazing! Is she a foreigner’s child or something? Well, anyway, nice to meet her!”

“No way! I absolutely refuse to give her to you!”

If I were to introduce Erio to any guy, her mother would curse me to death!

And you too!

Safaao began to move with varying speeds. As he leaped back, he pushed my katana with his hand. I remembered the moment yesterday when Erio blocked Ryuushi-san’s sword with her bare hands. I gritted my teeth and slammed my heels into the sand to keep my posture stable. Then, the moment I heard him stepping forward and kicking up sand, I instinctively swung my katana above my head. My reckless swing worked, and I managed to deflect Safaao’s sword halfway.

Safaao’s right hand wobbled as if it were being deflected. I thought I found an opportunity and measured the distance between us. I couldn’t aim for the head. A thrust probably wouldn’t reach, and for various reasons, I couldn’t aim for it. So, first I would take the katana from my opponent. I would knock his weapon out of his hand. With that calculation in mind, I stepped forward and swung my katana down.

But it seems that was all a trap.

Grinning, Safaao skilfully spun with his wrist the katana he was holding in his right hand. His left hand grasped the tip of the blade and transferred it. With that series of swift movements, my katana lost its target and slowly slashed through the air with a whoosh, and Safaao’s voice came from above my head as I hunched over.

“It’s fake.”

Wasn’t that a line from a basketball manga? I thought to myself, glaring upwards.

I prioritised protecting the paper balloon on my head by lifting my chin. Safaao didn’t try to force a shot at my head but calmly swung hard at my wrist, which had become distant from my torso, knocking my katana out of my hand. The moment I bent down to pick it up, Safaao’s sword swung to the side. I jumped back to avoid it, which meant I was now further away from the katana I had dropped. Unable to go back and pick it up, I slammed my back against the rock wall. “Ouch,” I cried out in pain, a cry that others could hear, and winced at the feeling of something foreign behind me. Even rocks in the shade were scorching hot in the summer. I ran my palm over the rough surface of the rock wall.

“Checkmate, huh? No, since it’s Japanese style, oute maybe?”

Safaao grabbed the katana I had dropped and came crawling towards me, now wielding two swords. Was it common practice in the world of sports chanbara to take your opponent’s sword and use two katanas like Ryuushi-san? No, in this situation, it was probably to prevent the opponent from using or picking up their weapon.

“Unfortunately, in sports chanbara, the game continues even if your opponent drops their katana.”

“Well, I mean, is it really acceptable from a samurai perspective to cut down an unarmed opponent?”

“I’m not a samurai. I’m a modern kid.”

He said that with a straight face. Excuse me, you’re a surfer guy, aren’t you? I leaned against the wall with a strained smile on my face. The rough feel of the rock face told me there was no escape.

“So my light blue summer is finally about to begin, uh-kuh-kuh.”

I was cornered. A single bead of sweat trickled down my eyebrow and eye, down to my chin. I could almost hear the sound of my sweat plopping onto the sand, and everything around me seemed to recede into the distance. Or so I thought.

The summer heat, the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand, it all faded from my perception like waves that come in and go. My gaze was drawn to Safaao, almost crossing my eyes, yet everything around me felt unstable and wavering. It’s as if the adhesive holding the landscape, built from blocks, was weakening, and the cracks were beginning to show. I have always experienced these symptoms when I was affected by heat. Right now, I was concentrating so intensely that the heat must have been building up in my head.

I was being cornered. The “ta” changed to the progressive form “iru”.

Amidst all of this, it rang out, as if to forcibly pull together the connections with the surroundings that were being stretched and torn apart. It was a distant electronic sound, as if objectively observing the nature around it.

The way they called was somewhat cold, like intermittent, repeated knocks.

Maekawa-san’s cellphone, which I had been holding tightly in my left hand, was ringing.

Devour and chew on radio waves from afar.

I held it up like a seal of authority.

“Can I answer the phone?”

To buy time and out of desperation, I asked Safaao. After I said this, I remembered that this phone wasn’t mine. Before I could correct myself and say “never mind,” Safaao agreed.

“Okay, but I’ll pop your paper balloon while you’re on the phone.”

“Please, go ahead.”

With permission granted, I stopped ignoring the phone and picked it up. I looked down at the screen.

I believed it was inappropriate to answer someone else’s phone call without their permission.

But the reason and process behind Maekawa-san casually handing me the phone. And how that led to me answering this call here, right now. It made me want to believe in that kind of coincidental evolutionary process.

It felt like the “end” of my summer vacation was just beginning there.

That feeling of connection seeped from within as a ball of intense energy.

Could it be that I had borrowed a “precognition” psychic ability to tell that something was five centimetres ahead?

I pressed the answer button, held the phone to my ear, and answered it in a desperate situation right in front of the enemy.

“Yes, hello?”

My voice had lost all moisture and was parched. Every time I moved around my throat, I had the illusion that the sand covering it was spilling out. And while I waited for the other person to speak, something like a wheel spun around inside my face, rattling and rattling.

“Hmm? That voice is too low to be Maekawa’s. Am I talking to a different Maekawa?”

The voice on the other end sounded a little high-pitched, like a girl’s. Was it Maekawa-san’s acquaintance or a friend of hers?

“Unfortunately, it’s not another Maekawa-san, but someone else entirely. Like a telephone secretary.”

“Hmm? Ah, so you’re that rumoured boy. Can I vent out on you all the resentment and bitterness I’ve been feeling since yesterday?”

It seemed the other party figured out who I was before I did. This information gap wasn’t pleasant.

“What are you talking about? I’m busy right now; I’ll talk to you later.”

“Apparently, we’re in the final stages of something called the Space War! Answer quickly. Right or left!”

“That again?! What the hell is all that about?!”

“Hurry up, hurry up!”

For some reason, the second time she spoke in a falsetto voice. Was she really in a hurry? Safaao was closing in on me. He even had a villainous laugh on his face, “kukukuku.” He looked confident in his victory. This was probably as far as I could go.

Actually, there was only one way to escape. But that would mean losing to Safaao in front of me, and even I would feel humiliated. For some reason, I didn’t like it. To be honest, it wasn’t funny.

My underlying philosophy was the same as those old men’s.

But I had no weapons and nowhere to run. All I had left was my cell phone.

“Hey, seriously, hurry up!”

Someone was urging me on the other end of the phone. This was the only thing I might have a connection with right now. This was the only teacup beside me that I could knock over with any futile struggle. Something to cling to, something to stand against.

It was an act that could only be described as relying on chance, like trying to call an alien on the phone.

But this time, without any justification, purely by intuition, I answered those two options and shouted.

To believe that the accumulation of coincidences I had experienced had given rise to inevitability.

“Right!”

I answered.

““Okay!””

For some reason, the replies reached my ears in overlapping order. No, in fact, I heard two replies, one at a time and the other at a different interval.

It’s right by my ears, and the speed of sound is closing in from behind.

“Hah?”

Shadows and sounds rained down from the sky, enveloping me. I took my eyes off Safaao’s kataa and looked up.

The shadows that previously blocked the light suddenly took shape, becoming tangible and dancing above my head.

A moped came speeding down from the top of the hill. A red cloth fluttered in the driver’s seat. Just like when I once flew towards the sea on my bicycle with Erio, the wheeled vehicle raced through the sky.

For that brief moment, I had the illusion that the wind coming from the sea had reversed direction and was pushing me back.

It was an Earth-made vehicle, and yet it exuded an air of alien presence.

U, F, O?

It was an Earth-made vehicle, and yet it exuded an air of alien presence.

E. T. ?

“Huh?” “Wah, ah,”

It was as if they were tracing our path all the way to the bottom.

While Safaao and I stood there with our mouths agape, the person who had been riding in the back of the scooter fell off first. Her figure emerged from the pitch-black backlight. The moment I saw her, who had turned pure white like a phoenix rising from the ashes, my breathing reversed. A hard, bitter taste spread through my mouth and saliva, like pebbles falling from the sky and choking me. It was as if I were looking up at a UFO with an alien inside waving from the window. And then, like the lower part of that rocket, he detached from the scooter and began to fall.

“Whoooooooi!” shouted Safaao. His eyeballs were exposed to the limit, trying to grasp the reality of what was about to happen. But there was no time left. The fall was imminent.

However, I do think it was admirable that he instinctively threw both katanas aside to try and catch the falling figure. Maybe Safaao wasn’t such a bad guy after all. While I was reconsidering my opinion of him, the collision occurred.

The falling figure was small, but the sound of the impact was still vivid. Safaao’s face contorted like a thug who had been punched in the stomach by the main character. He fell dramatically on his back as if hit by an iron ball, and the one who caught him also slid headfirst onto the sandy beach.

A few moments later, the scooter and its driver came crashing down with a cry of “Gyaaa!” They bounced on the sand before rolling over together. The person who lay sprawled out on the sand had a physique befitting a girl, and her bright red yukata was spread out as far as it could go.

The hem of her yukata, stretching out on the sandy beach, resembled a tropical fish with a shimmering red tail. I recognised this person too. But now my attention was focused on the other person, the one who had fallen first.

She was still lying there next to Safaao, completely motionless, her buttocks raised in a position that looks like she was deeply bowing.

“Ah.”

Her right arm had completely crushed Safaao’s paper balloon.

It broke, so if I recall correctly, it was over, even if it was an accident. So, that meant that Safaao was disqualified too.

“This was my special secret move, reliance on someone else… No, more importantly…”

The sheer whiteness of her presence, so intense it seemed to create a thick fog around her, was blinding. Her yukata was pure white like winter clouds, her skin was as translucent as autumn clouds, and the helmet of her spacesuit was as intensely white as summer clouds.

Tiny white shadows wriggled on the sandy beach. As if the light spilt by aliens was mending their shapes.

The one who fell was that mysterious girl from beginning to end.

It was Hoshimiya Yashiro. And just like that, she had reappeared right in front of me in a flashy, over-the-top manner.

She groaned, “Uuuugh,” from the impact of the fall. Then, perhaps because she was hurt, she took off his helmet and began stroking the back of her neck. Beneath her helmet was that pale face that seemed to radiate light like the surface of the sea.

“Yashiro.”

When I called out to her hesitantly, Yashiro looked up and smiled defiantly.

“So you were here after all, Makoto. Just as I predicted.”

“You had a premonition?”

“Guuu.”

The body Yashiro had been trying to lift suddenly collapsed. It fell face down and didn’t get up. Moreover, its back began to rise and fall at regular intervals. Gentle sighs could be heard, as if playing with the sand.

…Could it be that she fell asleep after that little act?

In this scorching heat, on a heated beach. How can you fall asleep so easily? Like Nobita!

“Hey, you just suddenly showed up…”

“Let’s talk about this later. Wow, I’ve finally made it to the sea!”

As if speaking for Yashiro’s feelings, the yukata-wearing girl spoke. When I turned my gaze in that direction, she was lying on her back, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. And that voice was none other than the one I had heard when we talked on the phone.

“It ended up being more like camping than a beach trip.”

She chuckled, “ku ku ku ku” shaking her shoulders with a laugh, her hand on her forehead.

“Well, what is your relationship with Yashiro?”

“I’m Princess Kaguya. I came from the moon on a moped… oh, oh…”

Leaving only that mysterious self-introduction, the self-proclaimed Princess Kaguya closed her eyes. And I, too, really fell asleep. …Wait a minute, seriously? When I peeked at her face, all I saw was a face that was genuinely breathing in her sleep; she was not acting. She was clutching the construction helmet that came off when she fell.

Safaao stood up. His eyes were rolling back in his head as he swayed, and then he then walked off somewhere with unsteady steps. The direction he was heading wasn’t towards a deserted area but towards the centre which led to the beach hut, so I figured he’d be alright. And all that remained were the two girls who had fallen asleep.

“…What the hell is all that about?”

Who would have wanted this inevitable outcome brought about by chance?

Sitting on the sandy beach, I looked up at the clear blue sky, free of any floating debris.

It didn’t look like any meteorites were going to fall today.

Just as I finished carrying the two sleeping figures to the shaded area at the bottom of the cliff, Erio came running towards me with her arms outstretched.

“Oh.”

“Ooh.”

We raised our hands, congratulating each other on being safe. Erio’s paper balloon hadn’t burst yet.

“Did you beat Ryuushi-san?”

“Yeah.”

She nodded her head vigorously, looking pleased. Wow, that was unexpected. I thought it would be a draw at best.

“Ryuushi or something said that she lost this time because Niwa-kun’s wasn’t there to cheer her on.”

“Huh.”

I reacted with short, sharp sounds, just like Erio. Could she be talking about that basketball game? I don’t think I could cheer the same way again even if I were ordered to.

Feelings could not be copied. They could not be prepared in advance, nor could they be reheated.

And now, that self-proclaimed alien who provoked me back then had shown up again, lying around in the shade.

……I had assumed she wouldn’t be appearing anymore. Somehow, her mystique had faded. To put it in my terms, I’d say her Alien Points had gone down.

“Everyone’s gathered on the beach. It looks like it’s almost over.”

“I see. I guess it’s just you and me left.”

“Yeah.”

“So, the Earthling team won, huh?”

“Yeah!”

Erio nodded with a strangely happy expression, then noticed the two sleeping below the cliff. She blinked in surprise at the sight of Princess Kaguya and then jumped up in delight when she saw Yashiro.

“That girl from before.”

“Yeah. For some reason, it seems she came to the sea.”

Erio recoiled slightly, “Uhh,” looking a little wary. Maybe she wasn’t her cup of tea, being an Esper.

“By the way, Erio. What do you think of that thing in the sea?”

“Huh?”

Erio turned towards the sea without any suspicion. She turned her back to me.

And in that moment, I popped the paper balloon that was still on Erio’s head.

“Ah.”

Like the air escaping from a paper balloon, the tension in Erio’s focused mind also dissipated.

“Sorry, but I’m a shape-shifting alien.”

I mean, she should have understood that when it was just me and Erio left. She might have forgotten, but there was a spy. When I was cornered by Safaao, I could have actually ended the fight by confessing. In the end, I kept quiet out of pride.

Yes, I took down the boss. Wow, being a spy is pretty awkward. You have to be careful about all sorts of things.

Erio was still stunned. In front of her, I shouted “Banzai!” in an empty voice.

“Yay, the aliens won!”

Yaaay. For some reason, Erio also raised her hand. No, don’t do that. You’re an Earthling.

“Cousin, did you trick me?”

“Huh.”

When asked so directly with innocent eyes, it was a little embarrassing. Erio took off her helmet and shook her head from side to side. Then she wiped the sweat off her face, and her expressionless face naturally melted into a smile.

She held a katana in her right hand and a helmet in her left, thrusting them up proudly.

“But it was fun, so it’s okay.”

“…I see.”

I couldn’t help but stroke her head. …Oh no, I’m starting to treat her almost like my daughter. Is this okay? I tilted my head, wondering if was really okay, while Erio walked ahead, swinging her arms high, looking in a good mood.

…Well, that was fine. I didn’t mind that she’d grown attached to me in one way or another.

There were many things that bothered me, but I decided to leave Yashiro and the other girl alone until they woke up, and Erio and I headed back towards the beach. In the center, everyone whose paper balloons had been popped was gathered, chatting and laughing. Ryuushi-san and Maekawa-san were there too. It seemed they were having their usual exchange, with Ryuushi-san making a fuss and Maekawa-san calmly brushing it off.

An elderly couple called out to us, “Good work!”, and we waved back. It seemed I was the only one with a paper balloon still inflated. Victory, I guess.

In the end, it was the result of a power activation by chance, so the sense of accomplishment was still dull, and it hadn’t reached the depths of my heart, as if my limbs were numb. But, I was sure it would come soon.

And there, running cheerfully across the sandy beach, was a woman in her forties, ready to greet us.

“Mako-kun, let’s celebrate with a hug like the battery that won the Koushien tournament!”

“Nooo, don’t come!”

With her lips pursed in a passionate kiss, it was clear that Meme-san was preparing something more than a hug, and I ran away from her charge. Without time to choose my route, I glanced back and ran straight towards the sea.

“Why is it always you who comes onto me?!”

“It’s all about love!”

“Do you think that’s of any comfort to meeee?!”

I kicked the “Memetan Beach” sign stuck in the sand, passed under a parasol, and then, “Huh?”, a kind of exhilarating thud as I pierced through the sand came from “my feet”. “Oh?” It seemed I had stepped on a small explosive hidden in the sand. “Oooh?” I stepped on something like a mat hidden beneath the sand, and my body, my upper body, tilted forward. No matter how hard I tried to stand, my right foot, which was a step ahead, only conveyed the disappearance of the ground. My toes repeated a meaningless movement, like gripping the brakes of a broken bicycle. “Ooooooh?” My lower body sank all at once, as if I had crossed a boundary and entered a downhill slope. My voice cracked, and my vision stretched rapidly as if the earth had started spinning vertically. My lower body and the palm of my hand, which I had tried to thrust, parted and were swallowed up at the same time. Sand, sand, sand. Sand, sand, sand! With a splash, I was drowning in a different sea of ​​sand, even though the ocean was right before my eyes. No matter how much I tried to support myself by putting my hands down, the sand accepted my hands like flowing water, dragging me deeper and deeper into the heat. “Oooh, stop, hold on!”

And now, belatedly, I finally understand what’s going on.

I was falling beneath the sand I stepped on without thinking. Beneath the sand lied a hollow space where nothing could accumulate, deep enough that even if I sunk my feet up to my hips, I wouldn’t reach the bottom.

I plunged into the sand, face to face, as if hitting the water. As I slid through it, falling through the cavity with the sand, I suddenly wondered about the true nature of this hole. My thoughts were cold, objective, and cruelly calm, as if cut off from the ever-changing surroundings.

I give the answer to the situation in a way that he won’t consider it at all a few seconds from now.

Was this perhaps a pitfall?

“Fuuu hahahaha!”

The sand covering the hole was quickly removed, followed by a burst of hysterical laughter.

Backlit, only shadows moved. But the movement of her abundant hair and her laughter were so familiar and unfamiliar, that I didn’t even need to think about who she was, standing against the clear blue sky in this shadow-puppet-like world. In that instant, when the surrounding sand touched nothing and she seemed to float completely in mid-air, all sorts of questions slipped away like loose luggage. Leaving behind memories as a memento.

Who was digging in the sand at the beach during the day?! And who went out to the beach at night?!

As Meme-san slept in her futon, fragments of sand embedded in her fingertips scattered in her eyes, covering her eyeballs.

“You underestimated Meme-chan’s ability to tie up loose ends, Mako-kun!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

I responded to her idiotic laughter from above with a death cry that sounded like something a third-rate villain would let out and then made an emergency landing. The impact was like being pushed up in the hips, forcing me to exhale until my lungs were completely empty.

My eyeballs bounced uncomfortably inside my face, banging and thrashing. A wave of heat and pain spread across my face.

“Uh, ahh,” I groaned. I rolled around, unable to move, my mind tumbling about as I moaned.

But despite the spectacular fall, the pain was surprisingly mild. And I couldn’t even feel the dirt on my back. Confused by the fall and suffering from a hangover headache, I reached out to rub my lower back and realised what it was.

The soft feel of fabric was at the bottom of the soil. Layers of familiar tactile sensations piled up, weaving together the answer.

It seemed that instead of needles and a swamp of poison at the bottom of the pitfall, there was a feather comforter laid out.

“…Hahaha”

This must be the futon that was assigned to Meme-san at the inn. So that was why it had disappeared.

The inside of the pitfall was also properly reinforced with cloth to prevent sand from spilling out from the sides and causing it to collapse.

What’s with this excessive consideration? I felt like venting my frustrations into the air, thinking, “If that’s the case, then don’t do it in the first place!”

But even when I opened my mouth like that, the sand spilt out through the gaping hole, drying out my lips and tongue and drying out my throat and voice. As a result, only my tongue, craving moisture, was exposed to the outside, not my voice. It absorbed the confined heat inside the hole, and my tongue withered away as if melting.

And the triumphant, idiotic laughter from the shadows continued endlessly from above the hole.

I wanted to cover my ears, my eyes, everything.

After hearing the sound of a paper balloon popping above my head, I closed my eyes, trying to blend into the darkness.

It seemed the war between aliens and humans had ended in mutual destruction.

The beach in the afternoon was filled with gentle, joyful voices. And watermelon seeds flew through the air.

“Shakushaku.”

The grand prize for the sports chanbara competition was watermelon. We were given several of them, cut them up at the beach hut, and, in the end, everyone on the alien and human teams got one. This would have happened no matter who won, so the outcome of the competition didn’t really matter. Well, that was fine, but my back and butt hurt.

The pit trap that Meme-san had dug was incredibly deep. I’m sure anyone would have been impressed that she managed to dig that much in one night, anyone who wasn’t a victim of it, that is. Now Meme-san was busy cleaning up the pit trap. Under her parasol, she was heartily biting into a watermelon clutched in one hand while continuing to fill the hole with sand. In her hand was a huge shovel that was available for free loan at the beach hut. Was it a coincidence that something like that was there? Or did Meme-san dig the pit trap precisely because that shovel was available? As for the beginning of all this, I can’t tell which teacup was the first to fall over.

“……But, well, you know.”

I bet she dug the pitfall without giving a second thought to the aftermath or whether it was a coincidence or not, simply because she felt it would be fun. I wonder if it’s fair to describe her as someone who’s an extreme optimist, hummm.

Beside Meme-san, Ryuushi-san and Erio were wiping each other’s watermelon juice off. It was a pointless struggle, as they had finished eating the watermelon and their hands, sticky with juice and seeds, were touching each other’s skin. I don’t know who started it, but now both of their upper arms were red and slimy. It was like a Japanese version of a tomato festival, and Maekawa-san was watching their strangely exciting little party from the sidelines, like a guardian. There was no closeness between the three sisters, but there was definitely an atmosphere of friendship there, and I think Erio and her mother Meme-san were quite pleased. Looks like the trip had been worthwhile.

I kept my distance from the commotion and sat on the embankment, which was more than half buried in sand, with the watermelon that had been assigned to me in one hand. Beside me sat the self-proclaimed Princess Kaguya and Hoshimiya Yashiro, cross-legged on the sandy beach. Since they weren’t participants, they had popsicles instead of watermelons.

Within an hour, both of them had recovered from their near-passive sleep and rejoined the town tour. Having suddenly appeared as tourists and introducing themselves as “aliens,” had not impressed the sports chanbara old man but rather made him burst into laughter. His laughter was filled with the cheerfulness of celebrating youthfulness and its utter absurdity. Did he believe their claim of being aliens or not? The old man neither affirmed nor denied it. He did say, however, that “Encounters are best when they’re purely coincidental.”

Princess Kaguya laughed as she firmly grasped Yashiro’s small head. Yashiro thrashed about, shouting, “Let go, you fake alien!”, but it seemed to have no effect. As they continued, they looked like sisters, with many similarities in hair colour, facial features, body shape, and appearance. Both even claimed to be aliens.

“She’s been living in my yard for about two weeks now.”

“I don’t live here. I’m only here out of necessity because I can’t return to Earth.”

“Shut up, fake alien. She was hungry, so she tried to catch and eat a giant turtle that someone was keeping in their yard. I can’t believe it.”

Personally, I find it more unbelievable that someone kept a giant turtle in their yard. The fact that this person was a classmate of Ooi-san constantly amazes me, and so did her lifestyle. As for the self-proclaimed alien, no comment.

“They’ve taken up residence here, but aren’t you going to get rid of them?”

“You’ve got some nerve treating people like animals. I’ll drop another meteorite on you.”

With her head still being held, Yashiro assumed a posture resembling some kind of pseudo-martial arts stance. Her hair was like bundles of light, and her skin was completely untouched by the sun. She had the sulky look of a child with big eyes. She wore a pure white yukata with a helmet resembling a spacesuit at her side. She was indeed Hoshimiya Yashiro. I hadn’t seen her since the night of the meteorite, but there was not the slightest change in her.

“I never imagined you’d still be living in the same town.”

“Even if I wanted to return to the stars on my own, I’d run out of energy from overusing my precognitive abilities, and my physical strength was at its limit.”

“You’re definitely Japanese, aren’t you?”

“So, I was planning to contact my planet and head home, but I got lost and didn’t make it in time.”

“Haha,” Yashiro shrugged her shoulders sarcastically. When she said she didn’t make it in time, surely she wasn’t saying that a UFO had come to this sea? …Oh, now that I think of it, last night… No, this couldn’t be.

“Well, my garden is pretty big, so I keep her as an add-on to the turtle. I guess it’s a bond between us being aliens.”

“I’m offended to be lumped together with a fake alien like you. Take that back.”

This Princess Kaguya was quite an eccentric person. She was definitely Maekawa-san’s friend. She was always wearing a yukata, a construction helmet, and her moped was always lying on its side on the beach, and she was short.

Aah, so that’s why Yashiro was wearing a yukata when I saw her at the shrine. One mystery solved.

“So, you know…”

“Yeah?”

Yashiro was preoccupied with licking the ice cream from the bottom and gave a half-hearted reply while my voice lacked any enthusiasm.

There were so many things I wanted to ask her, but I couldn’t seem to prioritise them and figure out where to start. They were lining up haphazardly, not in order of height or alphabetical order, swaying restlessly from side to side, only fuelling my impatience and frustration at the unresolved issues.

“Hey, what was that meteorite?”

In the end, the first thing I asked about was about the most shocking incident. But before Yashiro, who had narrowed her eyes at the question, could open her mouth, someone else unexpectedly gave the answer.

“A meteorite? Ah, on the day of the festival? Apparently, this girl was blown away by the impact of the fall and knocked unconscious in the woods. She’s so skinny, even though she eats other people’s food without hesitation.”

“…Blown away? Knocked unconscious?”

A neighbour have an answer that completely negated the mystery and blew away all my doubts and speculations. What the hell was that?! But before I could say that, Yashiro herself denies it.

“Shut-up-you-little-runt-and-don’t-make-a-fuss.”

Yashiro thrashed about like a monkey in a zoo, shaking off the restraints on her head. She then crunched on the blue ice cream she was holding. After gulping it down, she thrust the remaining stick in front of Princess Kaguya’s nose. “That one’s a dud, you fake psychic,” said defiantly Princess Kaguya, taking a bite of her orange-flavoured ice cream. Hmm, that was a pretty cool move.

“What she just said was a complete lie. Even a dullard like Makoto should be able to see through that.”

“So, what were you doing at that time?”

“Huh? Well, I was trying to return to my home planet.”

“How? Or rather, how does your return have anything to do with the meteorite?”

“Well, my plan was to use the energy remaining in the fallen meteorite to return.”

“……How exactly?”

“Well, that’s because a great professor extracted meteorite energy from various locations and concentrated it into a single point…”

“Just stop. That young man isn’t old enough to understand that.”

Princess Kaguya stopped Yashiro from continuing her mysterious and nonsensical talk (or whatever?). When she placed her hand on her head again, Yashiro visibly squirmed and tried to escape from under her hand, showing openly her dislike.

“……So, in the end, you’re just trying to evade the question of what actually happened.”

“It’s not that she’s trying to evade the question; she’s just trying to cover it up.”

Princess Kaguya replied and continued speaking, making sure not to let Yashiro interrupt her with a counter-argument.

“That’s how it is, young man. Don’t get your hopes up too much about the aliens in that town.”

“It’s really no big deal,” said Princess Kaguya, peering into my eyes as if she could see right through my doubts. Then she smiled. Her grin was confident and assertive, yet it seemed as if there was some ulterior motive behind it. Just what was it about this person? There was something about her that I couldn’t simply dismiss as just another eccentric person I occasionally encounter in town; it seemed to seep out from her words and demeanour… That’s the feeling she gave me. Maekawa-san had previously described her as just a drunkard.

Just accept it, okay?” It felt like I was being persuaded in that way, and it made me feel pressured.

“Why are you lumping everything together with such a foolish conclusion? My precognitive abilities are the real deal!”

“How did we end up getting lost even though I was following the directions of someone with precognitive abilities?”

Princess Kaguya dug her middle finger joint into Yashiro’s head. Groaning, the stubborn self-proclaimed psychic continued to argue.

“I did it to arrive with a timing that was convenient for Makoto.”

Well, she certainly showed up like a superhero, reading the situation perfectly. But was that just a coincidence?

“I mean, why did you leave the choice of left or right up to me?”

“Because she told me to do it.”

A finger was being dug into the crown of her head. Yashiro’s eyes narrowed, and she thrashed about, trying to resist.

“……Hum.”

As an Earthling, it was difficult to draw the line on how much I should compromise and accept.

To what extent did this girl’s so-called precognitive ability work? How much of it was coincidence, and how much was inevitability?

No matter how hard I tried to think, I was constantly swayed by Princess Kaguya’s smile, and I couldn’t come up with an answer. A city with aliens. A city where meteorites fall. Mysteries keep washing over me like waves, wetting the sandy beaches of my memory.

……But even amidst all of this, here I was. I was here, propped up by the overturned teacup. That much is certain. I was sitting here in the same space as Yashiro, who claimed to be an alien, Princess Kaguya, and Erio.

“…Was that really the most convincing explanation?”

Just as I had managed to survive until yesterday without knowing how life could exist on Earth and without understanding the mysteries of the world, I affirmed those who walk on two legs and move forward together.

“Well, even if you understood everything, it probably wouldn’t lead you to a fulfilling life.”

A life lived solely by “inevitability” would become monotonous and boring.

“Makoto-what-are-you-trying-to-look-cool-for-by-sticking-watermelon-seeds-on-yourself?”

“Wow, that insult is strangely nostalgic and annoying.”

…And so, I accepted that Hoshimiya Yashiro was in the same town as me.

Well, now.

After finishing her watermelon, Ooi-san approached Princess Kaguya from behind, hands on her hips, and looked down at her. “Oh, Toeic,” “You’re late,” “Haha.” They exchanged greetings, and she then glanced at Yashiro.

“You’re going to keep a girl in your yard this time? You still have some strange hobbies.”

“It’s kind of funny how she’s still as eccentric as ever.”

“Didn’t you keep rocks or something as pets back in middle school?”

I involuntarily coughed and choked. Was there anyone else like that besides me?

“I mean, am I that weird? Don’t you also have a child?”

Hiding behind Ooi-san’s feet, her daughter, whose hands and mouth were covered in watermelon juice, let out a slightly protesting “Fu, fueee.” Ooi-san patted her daughter’s head and said, “Look what you did to my child,” then began to grin at an odd moment. The way her eyes lit up was childlike, and at the same time, their shape reminded me of a feline.

“If I were to get a pet, I’d probably choose a handsome boy with a slightly melancholic air rather than a cute girl.”

“Wow, that’s so gross. You sound like you did that in real life, so scary.”

Princess Kaguya wiggled and fluttered the sleeves of her yukata, pretending to be a character. Ooi-san grinned and joked, “Have I been exposed?” … She was just joking, right?

I was so preoccupied with pondering the truth of the matter that I forgot to even take a bite of watermelon when the sports chanbara old man spoke to me as if he had been waiting for the right moment. In his wrinkled hands was a camera that looked as old-fashioned as the rest.

It seemed like something completely unrelated to the digital age, something left behind by the passage of time. But the camera, a tool for capturing the past, had an atmosphere of being more connected to time itself. Maybe I was the only one to feel this way, though.

“Excuse me, may I have a word?”

“Yes?”

When the four of them all turned their attention to him at once, the sports chanbara old man seemed intimidated. He held up his camera in his hand to eye level and looked down at Princess Kaguya and Yashiro.

“Can I take a picture of you two? I really want a picture of an alien.”

His wish seemed less sincere and more like something he found amusing. It was somewhat similar to the expression on someone’s face when they buy a T-shirt with a counterfeit character on it from a street vendor.

““Oh, oh, that’s fine.””

Princess Kaguya and Yashiro stood up briskly, their chins raised in the same direction with triumphant expressions, and simultaneously took a step forward. Then they looked at each other. They took one step at a time and overtook the sports chanbara old man. After taking a few more steps, they glared at each other.

“You imposter bitch, I’ll hang you from a bamboo pole!” “Hmph. I’ll drop a meteorite on your head, you fake!”

They stretched both hands out at each other, getting flicked away, and then started squabbling and yelling. What was wrong with these people? Ooi-san and I, the only ones left, could only give a wry smile at the childish squabble between our mutual acquaintances.

Then, taking advantage of the commotion, the people who had been eating watermelon turned their attention to us. “What’s going on?” “Are you taking pictures?” “They say that if you get your picture taken, your soul will be stolen.” “You said the same thing when you went to your grandchild’s sports day. And your grandchild was photographed and was perfectly fine.”

The old man and woman rose from their seats and peered at us. They seemed to be guessing that the camera that the sports chanbara grandpa had brought was for taking commemorative photos or something. The three girls who had been giggling and laughing over watermelon juice were also staring at us. Princess Kaguya and Yashiro were still fighting pointlessly.

I looked up at the sports chanbara old man and held up my index finger.

“While we’re at it, could we also take a group photo to commemorate our alien encounter?”

Group photos from a trip are really what youth is about, right? As if getting a head start on a school trip.

“Well, fine. The others are just participating as a service.”

With the old man’s enthusiastic agreement, the previously aimless footsteps of those around us suddenly became purposeful. With steady steps, the participants began to gather in droves. Safaao had also cleverly managed to stick close behind the old men. However, the old man acted as a wall, preventing him from reaching us, who were in the centre. Safaao seemed to be a young man who showed some respect for the elderly, and he did not push him aside. His struggling hands moved up and down as if to pat the old man on the shoulder, and he gazed at us with envious eyes.

“Taking a commemorative photo with everyone at the beach is just like the final chapter of a manga, right!”

“Ryuushi-san, still cheerfully making outrageous statements, aren’t you?”

“Come on, line up properlyyy. You tall girl over there, either crouch down or go to the back.”

“Hmm, so I’ll stand behind the transfer student, then.”

“Whoa! What’s on your head? Your chin? Is it your chin?”

“Wheee Wheeeee! Resting your chin on something violates Ryuko-san’s seven rules of youth!”

“According to Maekawa-san’s rules, it’s okay to rest your chin on someone shorter than you.”

“I’m not a perch… and your jaw moves every time you talk. It tickles.”

“Hey Maekawa-san, give me a piggyback ride. These guys are basically huge, so I, the main character, won’t stand out.”

“No, I’ll fall backward. Besides, you’re wearing a red yukata, so you already stand out a lot.”

“Hurry-up-it’s-hot!”

“Stop putting on that space helmet every single time! My legs are already wobbly from the heat!”

“A photo taken at our local beach during our honeymoon with my darling.”

“What kind of honeymoon involves setting a trap to catch your husband?! I want to throw you into the ocean!”

“Young people are so lively. But hey, I’m still young too. Ai-chan, shall I give you a piggyback ride?”

“Fu, fuuu”

“Cousin, Cousin!”

“What? You want me to give you a piggyback ride too? I might consider it once I’ve taken care of your mother.”

“Is this youth?”

“Ah… well, yeah. I’m not happy about it, but it might be pretty high up in the rankings youth-wise.”

“Mako-kuuuun.”

“Don’t grab my legs like a rugby tackle!”

“I-itokon.”

“Stop calling me like I’m some konjac noodles! And don’t touch me with hands sticky with watermelon juice!”

“Ma-ko-to-n”

“It’s scary, and the visor hurts! It’s grinding against my side! Take off your helmet!”

“Tenkoun”

“I don’t even recognise my name anymore! It sounds like I’m some sort of chemical! And my head’s all ticklish!”

“N-Nyowaninyoniniwa-kuuuun”

“Ah, salvation is so far away.”

“Say cheese!”

“Read the room, old space geezer! Ah, wait, seriously, it’s collapsing! Hey, everyone’s on top of me!”

The sound of us all falling at once, kicking up sand.

The sound of the old man’s camera shutter pressing the shutter button overlapped in a place between coincidence and inevitability.

And so, the commemorative photo that marked the end of summer came to fruition.

It ended up looking like gravity was somehow centred around me in the photo.

• Made to fall in a pitfall specially dug by Meme-san: −5

Total current Youth Points: +4

Epilogue - Cradle at Twilight

Epilogue - Cradle at Twilight

The bus ride back home was even more uncomfortable. The seats rattled and shook violently. As a result, the scenery outside the window changed so quickly that I felt like I was having a bad dream.

Yet, after sitting for just a few minutes, the vibrations acted like a cradle, and I fell asleep.

The bus interior was bathed in the evening sunlight and was filled with the quiet and lively chatter of the elderly people in the front seats. It seemed they were discussing where they would go for drinks once they were back in town. I could occasionally hear the voices of Maekawa-san’s parents, their business acumen evident, urging us to visit their ‘’izakaya’’. Come to think about it, I suddenly remembered, my mind hazy, that Maekawa-san’s family owned an ‘’izakaya’’.

I was sitting in the middle of the last row. I had the widest seat, but my shoulders were cramped and I could barely move. Eriowas sitting to my right and Ryuushi-san to my left, but both of them were now breathing heavily in their sleep and leaning on my shoulders. To add to that, Maekawa-san, who was supposed to be sitting next to Ryuushi-san, was also asleep, and her position had shifted so much that she was somehow lying on Ryuushi-san’s lap and mine. So, there was hardly any part of my body I could move freely. Whether it was a blessing or a curse, I didn’t know, but my heart was surprisingly calm despite being surrounded by three girls.

Anyway, I was incredibly sleepy myself. My head has been nodding off repeatedly, and I’ve drifted off to sleep many times. The phrase “Youth Points” has also fallen apart, sounding more like “blue, spring, points.”

My pulse was so high for about five minutes after getting on the bus. Could I really call myself a “youthful man” when I’ve succumbed to sleepiness like this? Well, I mean, where did I even begin to call myself something so embarrassing?

In the back seats, strangely enough, people who were exhausted from all the excitement and overcome with sleep were sitting together. Ooi-san’s daughter was one of them, and so was Meme-san who was sleeping with her mouth open and drooling, showing off her blissful sleeping face to everyone around her. Thinking about it, it seems that those sleeping in the back, with one exception, were mostly young people.

Princess Kaguya and Yashiro went home again on their moped. “What? Going home so soon? After all that trouble?” she grumbled. I wish she would stop asking me to decide right and left.

“It was so lively…”

I mumbled my thoughts about the trip. But my teeth and tongue were all limp right now, so I wasn’t sure if I was actually speaking. The four of us in the back seat were like a pile of luggage, and our breaths all sounded almost the same, which meant I realised I was also on the verge of falling asleep. I couldn’t resist it.

The bus got caught at a traffic light and braked a little roughly. Erio and I both were hurled forward. Erio’s hair flowed smoothly like sand being carried away by the waves, tickling my shoulder and profile. When it fell in front of my right eye, I felt as if I were still looking up at the surface of the water from underwater.

“But it was fun…”

My mouth moved as I mumbled something. It had been years since I’d been on a trip like this. Both my parents were out working, so we didn’t have many holidays where the whole family could be together. And on top of that, this time, cute classmates came along too.

As I grinned, my eyelids naturally began to droop. My bangs covered my eyes, and it gradually became dark. When I closed my eyes completely, I could keenly feel the air from the air conditioning in the bus and the body heat of the three people around me. Ah, I wonder if this warmth was why I was so sleepy.

My skin, which had been chilled from splashing around in the sea, gradually warmed up, and I was enveloped in a warmth like holding an animal. I could feel Maekawa-san wriggling as she rested her head on my lap. I knew she probably didn’t like the summer sea, but if she was able to have so much fun that she fell asleep, then I think it was worth coming.

…… Or rather, maybe it’s because of the drinking we did last night? Ah, that might be it.

The feeling of being gently rocked by the waves still lingered in my body. Combined with the vibrations of the bus, it was creating a pleasant, swaying motion. The slightly exaggerated sound of the engine now seemed distant, as if it were on the opposite shore. A corner of my mind went blank, a pleasant state of stagnation similar to when alcohol takes effect.

The feeling at the end of a trip was strange. It was lonely, yet there was a beautiful lingering feeling. The lingering enjoyment of the trip is balanced by the sadness of heading home, creating beautiful ripples. Thoughts of returning to my usual routine tomorrow filled me, as well as the experiences of being in a different place. Fatigue was probably an important element in creating that feeling. I think I could sleep deeply now.

I felt the vibrations on my back as the stopped bus started moving forward. It was as if it were carrying us away from the sea, a symbol of summer, towards the next season. School started next week; the second term would begin.

This summer vacation, filled with encounters, unknowns, and miracles, would surely come to an end when this bus arrive in town. I had a feeling that would be how it would end. And just like the end of a trip, it was a little sad.

I was sure I would feel the same way once my high school life came to an end. Being in this town now felt like a long journey, and eventually I would return to the home where I truly belonged.

And in the town where I was born and raised, there were no aliens anywhere. It was ordinary. There are no people wrapped in blankets, no wonderful classmates, and well, no adult-childs either. And that’s where I would end up going back.

Strange, interesting, and poignant. I saw a tagline like that a long time ago, and the town everyone was returning to was filled with that kind of atmosphere. I was starting to feel at home here, but one day I would have to leave. And that was when I would have to part ways with the people here and with this town.

I would probably be on the train thinking about what a long, long journey it had been, feeling a bit more lonely than I did now. That might be a much more acute pain than travelling all over the world and visiting different lands.

……But that was a story that was still a little ways off.

Like everyone else, I was going back there now.

Let’s go back to town.

Summer vacation was ending. The lingering summer heat and the autumn season were beginning.

And as the bus sped towards autumn, I gazed at the light, drifting into a drowsy state.

In the end, this summer,

“…Hahaha”

Before I could say the rest, I was sure I would picture a peaceful sleeping face in my mind.

Afterword

When I was first asked if I had a title for this book, I suggested The Crashing Girl. If this had been the title, I probably never would have written a sequel.

Also, for some reason, I now have three editors assigned to me. Apparently, this is not only unusual for Dengeki Bunko but almost unheard of. I thought about splitting into two to compete against them, but that seems quite impossible. About as impossible as a father going to the gym saying, “I need to get in shape to be in a movie.”

Lately, I’ve been playing Monster Rancher 2 on PlayStation. When people ask me, “Have you ever played Monster Hunter?”, I usually answer, “Monster Rancher? Yes.” My favourite monster is Gigalon. I also like gel-type monsters in general because they look cool and refreshing.

…But even if I write this, I wonder if it will make sense to the main target audience of this book (those born in the Heisei era!). If it doesn’t make sense to you… well, sorry. I don’t have anything else to write about.

I’d like to thank my editors Oyama-sama, Miki-sama, and Nishitani-sama for their help once again. And as always, I’d like to express my gratitude to Buriki-sama for handling sales and illustrations. Please forgive me for these rather unexciting words of gratitude.

The next volume, if it comes out, will be a school festival arc. Even though I’m talking like this, I think it will probably come out.

Thank you so much for your purchase.

Also, Part 4 of “Something like a novel” will be suspended for the time of the author’s research.

… Sorry, I just wanted to try writing it this way once. I’ll go back to serialising it normally from next time.

Iruma Hitoma

Iruma Hitoma

I’m the same generation as the guy who said, “I’m going to become the god of the new world.” I usually listen to Taro Hakase’s Time Messenger and Hitomi Shimatani’s Camellia. I listen to them alternately all year round without getting tired of them.

Buriki

I live in the Kansai region. Half the year is already over, but I’ll do my best again this year!

Please share your opinions and impressions of this book.

Translator's Notes and References

Back to Volume 4

Return to Main Page