Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume7 Chapter5
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Chapter 5 - Ending No. 2559: Do Spacesuits Dream of Silkworms?[edit]
“Cousin, let’s go stargazing. Hey, come on!”
“Don’t grab me by the back of my neck and pull. Am I a cat!?”
“You’re not as cute as a cat.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” I grumbled as my cousin dragged me along. It was an annual tradition where I would come to stay at my aunt’s house during summer vacation. I’d stay for a week, or sometimes up to two. Even though my aunt’s place was in a much more urban area than my own town, it had a certain rustic charm that made it strangely comfortable. Here, I found my playful young aunt and my blue-haired cousin.
And here, there stood a massive, towering rocket, visible from almost anywhere in town.
“Whoa! Did you spray bug repellent?”
My aunt called out to me from down the hallway. My cousin, who was pulling me along, looked back with boundless energy as she ran. “I’m fine!” In reality, I couldn’t smell any bug spray on her. This meant that tomorrow, she’ll be in trouble, scratching away after getting bitten on her arms and legs. Me too, though.
With our shoes slapped on haphazardly, we burst from the entrance out into the garden. The sun had completely set, and summer insects were chirping from all corners of the yard. Before I even had a moment to listen to their subtle melodies, a stark contrast to cicadas in the daytime, the telescope my cousin and I had carried out was set up in the garden. The telescope was ancient, its once-white body now yellowed and covered in scratches. *Wheeze, wheeze…* I didn’t know exactly how old it was, but my aunt once told me it was used by our ancestors so long ago that neither my dad nor my grandpa had ever even met them. Of course, she said she never met them either.
“Hey, Cousin, move aside. Leave the rest of the preparations to this great master!”
My cousin puffed out her chest and brushed me aside with a smug “Hmph!” She’s the only one who knows how to adjust the telescope. Even so, could I let that look on her face slide? I brought my fist down, planting a playful thud right on her head.
“What are you doing?! You’re going to crush my precious brain cells!”
“I doubt they’re that precious; you’ve got plenty of them. More importantly, stop making your hair glow like spores.”
“How should I care? It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose!”
She twisted her body to dodge my fist. Then, while pouting, my cousin gave me a warning: “Don’t get in my way!” “I won’t,” I replied bluntly, before swiping a hand at the insects fluttering around us.
Every night, we do this: sit and gaze at the stars. We did it last year, and the year before that.
If I come to this house next year, I’m sure we’ll be doing the exact same thing.
“But seriously, your hair really is weird.”
“Got a problem with that?”
“It’s pretty, so it’s fine, right?”
“Then we’re good.”
My cousin nodded cheerfully. Even as she spoke, her hands and eyes moved with precision, continuing to adjust the telescope. Every night, we stood beneath the starry sky in search of the stars’ radiance. Yet, depending on what we sought in that light, what my cousin and I saw was slightly different. I suppose that, too, was part of the charm of dreaming of the stars.
Looking back, there were clouds drifting across the night sky and a massive shadow spreading out like a monster. That shadow swallowed the night with a shape like the tip of a blade, possessing a presence so overwhelming it felt as if it might collapse upon us at any moment.
“Once again, the moon is hidden behind the shadow of the rocket.”
“Mm.”
My cousin cast a brief glance upward and gave a short nod.
There was a rocket in our town. It was much larger than any of the massive structures, a rocket built for travelling into space. It stood in a detached area of town, and apparently, it was once a local attraction. Since that was long before I was born, I didn’t know much about it. The rocket itself had been left abandoned for various reasons since it was manufactured over two hundred years ago. There were still some eccentrics who maintained it on their own, which was why it remained standing to this day.
No matter how long we waited, the day will never come when that rocket, which seemed to tear through the night sky, would actually launch into space. Someday, the people who maintain it will vanish, and fearing it might collapse, someone will dismantle it, and the rocket, along with its shadow, will disappear somewhere. Yet, I felt as though if the rocket were to vanish, this town itself might just fly away with it.
“It’s finished, Cousin. Now, go on; give this Great Master your praise.”
“Nice, great, now move over and let me have this spot!”
“Oh, I can see it, I can see it! There are some wonderful stars visible tonight, too.”
She completely ignored me. Peering through the adjusted telescope, a wide grin spread across her face. I couldn’t bring myself to pull her away from the lens and her expression, so I just scratched my cheek. Swatting away the buzzing insects, I waited patiently.
Eventually, my cousin pulled her eyes away from the telescope and looked up at the sky with her naked eyes, pointing firmly upward.
Toward the night sky, and toward a star 20 light-years away, far, far into the distance.
Toward that far-off place she continued to stare at through the telescope.
“If we keep travelling and travelling in this direction, we’ll find aliens there.”
“I know. Those who send light signals from the stars, right?”
That much was common knowledge. My cousin nodded, her eyes sparkling like the stars themselves.
“The aliens… I really want to meet them.”
Every night, no, at every possible opportunity, my cousin let those droplets of dreams spill from her lips. Each time, as she tilted her chin up and her lips parted just slightly, a flood of various emotions welled up within me. There was no negativity in her expression, yet the mixture of goodwill and affection was so incoherent that it tormented my mind, becoming a constant source of headaches.
Because I tried so hard to swallow it all down, everything only became more of a jumbled mess, and my vision began to blur at the edges.
Then again, this is nothing new.
But today, I truly wanted to cast a light upon the dreams she so passively gazed toward.
As if to frame her against the silhouette of the rocket.
Spreading my arms wide, as if to catch every single drop of those dreams with my entire being, I made my declaration:
“Alright, I’ve got it. I’ll build you a rocket.”
“Hmm?”
My cousin gave a dull response to my sudden outburst. What? After I go out of my way to make her dream come true?
“I’ll build a rocket that travels as fast as light, and I’ll make sure you meet an alien. And I’m telling you, rockets like that are actually being developed right now. There’s even a real plan to meet aliens. Yashiro-sensei at the research institute said so, so, uh, well, I’m not lying!”
The more I spoke, the more it sounded like a lie. After all, Yashiro-sensei was a self-proclaimed alien and the kind of person who could say incredibly suspicious things without blinking an eye. I shouldn’t have brought his name up. As for my cousin, she was staring straight into my eyes, wearing a fearless and knowing smirk. “Ho ho.” W-what’s with that look?
“When?”
“What do you mean, ‘when’… obviously when you and I are adults.”
“Are you sure? Cousin, are you really that smart?”
She peered into my face with a mischievous, yet charming, smirk. Her expression looked as if she were thinking, “I don’t expect much, but I appreciate the sentiment,” so I let out a derisive snort. Just you wait.
There were no shooting stars in the sky. Only the ancient, quietly twinkling light casts a faint glow upon us. Since neither wishes nor prayers would be granted, I made a firm, resolute vow to achieve it all through my own strength.
“It’s okay, no problem.”
“Wow, suddenly that sounds super fake.”
“Shut up. Listen, I’m making a real promise, so just listen.”
“Mmm.”
A strong wind blew. It was a tailwind, brushing past my back as it rushed by. As if riding that very current, I spoke:
“You’re going to ride in the rocket I build, and we’re going to go meet the aliens. It’s a promise, Gertie.”
“You haven’t left yet, Makoto?”
I was dozing off with my cheek pressed against the long table when a familiar voice caused my eyelids to flutter open. Without even realising it, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and rubbed my eyes with my fingers. As I lifted my head, the excessive brightness of the breakroom rushed in, forcing me to instinctively close my eyes. Shielding my face with my hand, I cracked open just my left eye, only to be struck by walls so perfectly white that they looked like a cascading waterfall of light. Upon waking, I was besieged by nothing but white, and to top it all off, even the hair of the person who had called out to me was pure white.
There stood Yashiro, wearing a lab coat that was slightly too large for her. As always, she shone so brightly that even the background walls and lights seemed dim by comparison. She possessed a fragile hue, as if she might dissolve into sand every time someone touched her. White hair, white skin, a small frame. Though, perhaps due to a recent lack of sleep, her gaze seemed sharper than usual.
“Right back at you. You said you were calling it a day, but didn’t you pull an all-nighter yesterday, too?”
“Fu ha ha, you fell for it. I was lying.”
“And who exactly does that lie benefit?”
I roughly pulled out the chair opposite me, sat down, and slumped face-first onto the desk. As I stretched out both arms, they moved with a dry, skittering motion, like the legs of an arthropod; it was quite creepy. The flesh of her cheek, pressed up against the desk, looked plump, and when I touched it, it felt firm and incredibly satisfying. Yashiro’s eyes darted toward me, her pupils shifting sharply.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve, touching me so casually, Earthling. Such insolence will be the death of you.”
“Sure, sure.”
I’ve grown completely used to her delusions. Who could have imagined we would be together for this long? Well, since Yashiro called herself a psychic with precognitive abilities, she might have known.
I sneered.
“I’m honestly impressed you can live your life so fully immersed in your delusions.”
“Hmph. Even the very first ‘Makoto’ from generations ago, so long ago I’ve lost track, used to say the same thing. Like your names, your family has made no progress whatsoever.”
“Hey now, ‘the first’, you say?… Don’t go inflating your age, Yashiro Junior.”
Both you and I only exist because of our ancestors. Though, for some reason, it seems we’ve both been inheriting the same names for generations. Makoto and Yashiro. The kanji were different[1], but the pronunciation was exactly the same for everyone in the family.
“That said, from my perspective, and my father’s and grandfather’s, you haven’t changed at all, and it’s actually a bit creepy. It’s as if you aren’t even a ‘junior’, but the original person herself just living on without ever ageing.”
When I said that, Yashiro let a suggestive smirk curl her lips. As if to say that was exactly the case. She looked away with an exasperated smile, as if to say it was better not to point this out.
“So, what were you doing in a place like this?”
Yashiro asked, still slumped over. She was blinking frequently, perhaps trying to hide how sleepy she was.
By now, my eyes had finally adjusted to the excessive brightness, and I could keep them open without any discomfort.
“Tomorrow is the big day, after all. I was just lost in thought.”
“It looked more like you were fast asleep, snoring away.”
“Shut up.”
I dismissed her with a wave of my hand. I had only been reminiscing about the past, but it felt somehow embarrassing. It would be enough to make me cry if someone as famously insensitive as her pointed out that I was being sentimental. Looking at the calendar posted where my gaze had drifted, I saw a red circle drawn around tomorrow’s date.
There were not even five hours left until tomorrow.
Until the day the rocket we built would go to greet the aliens.
This was the research institute in the town watched over by aliens. More precisely, it was a manufacturing plant, but because the locals have always called it a research institute, we have come to call ourselves that as well. Well, we do conduct research, so it wasn’t all a lie. For hundreds of years, rockets have been developed and manufactured here. Unfortunately, there was a part of our history where the first unit was in development, but after some scientists devised a groundbreaking engine and flight method, it ended up being abandoned just as it was nearing completion. That was what the rocket that has become nothing more than a building in town was. Then, after many twists and turns, hundreds of years passed.
The rocket we developed was sent to another country, and from there, it had reached the point of launch.
Tomorrow is the beginning, but today was also the end. The end of me sharing the same flow of time as that cousin of mine.
I looked up at the ceiling, the back of my chair creaking. The artificial sky was so bright, it was hard to believe it was night.
“Aliens, huh…?”
“Even without going all that far, there are aliens right here.”
Yashiro shrugged with a “good grief”. To match her sentiment, I shook my head with a heavy sigh of my own.
The year was 2559 AD.
Humanity received a message from extraterrestrial life over five hundred years ago, and we had progressed to this point. We spent twenty years exchanging messages with a planet located 20 light-years away. Having repeated such dizzying exchanges countless times, humanity will attempt a leap toward the next level of communication tomorrow.
The rocket destined for that planet departs Earth tomorrow. It was the first attempt in human history. Among the crew embarking on this vast journey in search of contact with extraterrestrials, my light-blue-haired cousin was included.
“It really feels like a dream, doesn’t it?”
Ever since we were kids, rumours had circulated that my cousin was like an alien, so now she was actually going to meet real ones. The beings on that planet might be the ones in for a shock. “On planet Earth, we have the very picture of aliens,” we’d tell them. I chuckled, my shoulders shaking as I imagined their reaction. No matter where she goes, she always ends up being the centre of attention. Being a rarity even on the scale of the universe, that’s just my cousin for you.
Yashiro took a sugar cube for her coffee from the pot sitting on the long table. She crunched on it loudly, muttering with pure satisfaction, “It’s so sweet it stings my teeth.” After swallowing, she turned to me and asked:
“Are you not going home today?”
“Yeah, I mean, is it today again? I wonder how many days it’s been since I last went home.”
I tried counting on my fingers, one, two, three, but I ran out of fingers and gave up. I knew it was a bad habit to start staying overnight at the lab just because I couldn’t be bothered to go home, but when laziness wasn’t permitted at work, it inevitably took a toll on my personal life… Now, let’s see, when was the last time I actually left the lab?
Even the last day I last saw the scenery outside was a blur; this is bad. I tried counting on my fingers again: one, two, three.
“…Ah, I remember.”
It was five days ago. I went to see the rocket. I clenched my hand into a fist, all fingers tucked in, and thrust it toward the ceiling.
I straightened my back and let out a groan, something that caused a ringing sensation in my ears.
In the midst of that, I wondered what I should do next. I was in no frame of mind to just sleep peacefully and wait for tomorrow. Then again, I was not exactly in the mood to go out and party, either, so I was at a loss as to how to spend my time.
“Hey, Makoto! You’ve got an international call!”
One of my colleagues from the lab peeked into the breakroom, calling out to me teasingly.
The mention of an international call triggered something in my mind. I pushed my desk aside, stood up, and left the breakroom. Yashiro remained slumped over the desk, nibbling on a second sugar cube. She didn’t even look my way.
Leaving Yashiro behind, I walked briskly down the hallway. Perhaps because my colleague knew who was on the other end of the line, he was wearing a smirk. I shoved him aside as if to push him out of my way and entered the lab, picking up the receiver lying on the desk. I took two or three deep breaths. I had a vague feeling the call was coming, but I was still a little nervous.
Ah, ahem. I cleared my throat, adopting an exaggeratedly formal tone that felt as though it could carry even to the other side of the line. Then, as I pressed the receiver to my ear and sensed that familiar breathing, I felt a sense of relief, as if ice were melting away.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
We exchanged brief greetings. Because of the time difference, “good evening” probably wouldn’t match the time on her end. My cousin’s voice, somewhat mechanical and consisting of short, clipped tones, hadn’t changed at all even as an adult. I turned my gaze toward the wall.
“It’s been a while, Cousin.”
“Ah? I mean, we just talked about a week ago. Anyway, whatever. You doing okay?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine. I have to be fine, otherwise they won’t let me board the rocket.”
“Right. Well, then. Just don’t oversleep and get left behind.”
I tossed out a silly joke, but my cousin didn’t laugh in the least. She just gave me a plain “Okay”.
That was just how my cousin is. She was indifferent to the subtleties of language, for better or worse.
“I’m too excited to sleep much, so I’ll be fine.”
“I see. Hmm, I see. I guess you can just sleep after the rocket launches, then.”
“Mm.”
“…Ah. So, uh, anyway, what’s up?”
I find myself at a loss for words. Even though I wasn’t the one who called, I find myself searching for something to talk about. Staying in silence could be comfortable or awkward depending on the moment. Right now, however, I feel that every second of silence is a waste.
That was because today was the last day my cousin and I would be the same age.
“Aren’t you sleepy, Cousin? It’s already night over there. Right, since there’s a time difference.”
“Yeah. …Though next time, the time difference between us won’t be something so simple.”
Because my cousin will be travelling through space at speeds approaching the speed of light, the time dilation effect, the Urashima effect[2], will take hold. Once she has travelled between planets, accounting for the time spent accelerating and decelerating, and based on observations from Earth, over forty years will have passed. At that point, a massive age gap will have opened up between my cousin and me. While I might be a frail old man on Earth or perhaps even sleeping beneath the grave, she will undoubtedly still be much, much younger.
The time experienced by my cousin and me will drift far apart. The very fundamental nature of the world we inhabit will change.
“By the time I’m an old man, you’ll still be young. I’m jealous.”
“Then, do you want to come along, Cousin?”
“…That doesn’t sound half bad. But unfortunately, I haven’t renewed my passport. I won’t make it by tomorrow.”
I would have loved to use the time dilation effect to solve that problem too, but science wasn’t quite that convenient. We were sprinting toward the goal of omnipotence, but we were still a bit far from being able to pull a time machine out of our pockets.
“As soon as I get back, I’m coming to see you first.”
Coming over to come see me at the speed of light? If she moves that fast, it’ll be a struggle just to get her to stop here.
“I’ll be an old man, having aged a full forty years or more over here. I wonder if you’ll even recognise me at a glance.”
“I’ll recognise you because you are Cousin. Besides, you’ve always looked like an old man to begin with.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, you brat? I don’t think I look that old.”
The colleague sitting next to me muttered, “How pitiful…” in a low, performative whisper. Hey, watch it. It felt like I was going to be branded as the “old man” of the office starting tomorrow. “What a pain,” I muttered, scratching my head.
“So, Cousin…”
“What?”
“Just make sure you stay alive until I get back.”
Her poignant wish pierced me like a single, sharp needle. I found myself at a loss for words, casting my eyes downward.
A span of forty-some years was by no means a short amount of time for a human being.
This might very well be my final farewell to my cousin. I had to prepare myself accordingly. It wasn’t a promise I could make lightly, and yet, it was a wish I had no choice but to promise.
I would wait for the day my cousin and the rocket returned as the very first Earth-born aliens in human history.
“…Yeah. I’ll do my best to stay healthy and live a long life. Just you make sure you don’t pick fights with the aliens.”
“Mm.”
“Okay. Take good care of my rocket, First Officer.”
“Mmm.”
After setting the receiver down, I muttered the following words to the person on the other side of the wall. After setting the receiver down,
“I’ll be there to meet you when you arrive. Just make sure you come back safely.”
I muttered the following words to the person on the other side of the wall… Actually, maybe it’s better not to tell her; it might be a shock when she returns. So, rather than emphasising it, I simply straightened my clothes and said to my colleague:
“I’m stepping out for a bit.”
“Why don’t you go home once in a while?”
“It’s hard to go back to an empty house. I haven’t been out in five days, so I’m actually kind of scared to leave.”
Feigning ignorance, I left the lab.
My cousin will be aboard that spaceship for about twenty years. Well, the perceived time inside the ship will likely be much shorter, but it was bound to be longer than five days. With that thought in mind, as I walked down the corridor, I decided to bid farewell to this unhealthy lifestyle and invited Yashiro, who was still gnawing on a sugar cube in the breakroom.
“Hey, why don’t we go get some night air?”
“I’m tired of going to places like this.”
“Come on, just this once.”
I gave Yashiro a nudge, and we clattered our way through the ship. Of course, this was a version of the spaceship that wouldn’t launch. The interior of the rocket, which could almost be called an old symbol of this town, was pitch black; even with a flashlight, it felt like you could easily trip. However, perhaps because I had used this place as my playground since I was a child, I could navigate the interior smoothly even with my eyes closed. I was sure my cousin could do the same.
With the glowing Yashiro leading the way, we climbed up toward the tip of the rocket. Because a group of eccentrics occasionally performed maintenance as a hobby, the rocket still retained its shape. No matter how many times the exterior was cleaned, it immediately became covered in moss, making it look as if it were painted moss green, but the interior remained stable. Otherwise, a useless piece of junk like this would have been dismantled long ago.
The rocket located behind the research institute was a place that any researcher would have climbed at least once.
“Being able to climb up here at night is a privilege for those who work here, isn’t it?”
It would be the perfect place to invite a girlfriend by telling her you knew a place with a wonderful night view. Though, I didn’t actually have anyone like that.
Apparently, one of our ancestors was incredibly popular, but it seemed that his charm was lost somewhere along our lineage.
I stepped out onto a balcony (?) attached near the summit for tourists. It was like an observation deck that offered a panoramic view of the town from the outer surface of the rocket, an altitude that would surely cause anyone with a fear of heights to faint. Because of the height, the wind was strong, and the night breeze was cold for a month of May. I sat cross-legged on the floor, looking down at the endless expanse of metal plating stretching toward the launch pad. The landscape, illuminated by the lights of the research institute, was exactly as it was in the old days.
It felt somewhat otherworldly. Far removed from daily life.
My cousin and I are just as we were on that day, standing motionless, dreaming of the rocket’s launch.
“Hooooooo.”
For some reason, Yashiro, standing beside me, mimicked the sound of the wind. The petite Yashiro looked as though she might be blown away by the gust at any moment. It was easy to imagine her drifting off into the sky, wailing, “Hooooooo”.
For some reason, I could easily imagine her landing safely right after that.
“So, you were getting a call from that fake alien just now. Hmph, getting all worked up just because of a little trip into space. How unmanly. Shouldn’t the name ‘Meme’ have a much more audacious and powerful ring to it?[3] This is embarrassing.”
I had absolutely no idea what she was so indignant about.
“…Loooooooveeeeeeers of loooooooost dimennnnnsiooooons…”
Yashiro suddenly began to sing. She seemed to make up the lyrics as she went, and the sound, caught in the gusts of wind, was quickly swallowed up. After she finished, Yashiro gave herself a score of “ninety points”. What a generous evaluation.
“What was that song?”
“It’s a song for a lover far, far away.”
She lets out a smug “Fu fun”, laughing at me as if to mock me. Was she trying to tease me?
“…I wouldn’t call her a lover. To me she’s just Gertie.”
When I said this jokingly, Yashiro snorted.
“Eliott’s little sister? And yet you can’t fly, how odd.”
“Heh, you know about that? It’s a rare piece of footage from over five hundred years ago.”
“Because I watched it with Makoto.”
“Which Makoto?” I asked with a bitter smile. I couldn’t help but think that she really might have crossed through time. And all just to keep teasing descendants since the era of the first Makoto? How spiteful can one be?
“What was the name of the rocket you launched?”
Yashiro asked, tapping her feet impatiently as if to demand an answer.
Even though I was the one who named it, I answered with a feigned struggle to remember, trying to hide my embarrassment.
“Prime.”
“It seems that lack of taste runs in the family.”
“Shut up.”
Everything noteworthy was already used by our predecessors. For all I know, I had no idea what my ancestor’s taste was like.
“But it’s space, space! It’s incredible.”
“What is so incredible? You can see space from here, too, can’t you? Look, look!” Yashiro said, pointing at the stars and the vast expanse of the night sky. Clouds drifted overhead, swirling in eddies or mimicking the shapes of great beasts. The indigo sky felt somehow more distant than the blue sky of day. The stars flickered in and out of view behind the clouds. In their place, what shone brightly above me was Yashiro’s hair.
Looking up at that hair, as Yashiro continued to radiate light itself, I suddenly asked:
“From where exactly in space did you come from?”
“It’s a secret.”
“What kind of annoying response is that?”
She had said it with her usual grumpy expression; how uncute of her.
“Meme taught me that when there’s no need to speak, you should just dodge the question like this.”
“You mention her sometimes, but who exactly is this Meme?”
“As I said, it’s a secret.”
This time, her expression was somewhat suggestive and playful. Her cheeks relaxed, and a smirk curled her lips. Unable to decipher the meaning behind that look or what was crossing Yashiro’s mind, I simply rested my chin in my hand.
For a while after that, both of us gazed out at the night town. The lights from the houses reaching the outskirts, where the research institute was located, were sparse. Even when staring toward the pitch-black mountains, nothing more than a faint, blurry mass of shadows could be seen. No sounds reached us, save for the rushing wind, which echoed like a restless murmur. And as the wind hit us, some part of the rocket creaked. It was often teased that the sound was the rocket’s cries. Because it continued to wail through the night, some people who had just recently moved to this town apparently mistook it for a ghost story. The creaking lasted a little longer than usual tonight, sounding almost as if it were lifting its head to gaze up at the sky.
“I guess this guy wants to fly, too, after all.”
I tapped on the rocket with a light tap-tap. The sound was bright and bouncy, like a bouncing ball. Yashiro, who had been staring at the scenery while gripping the railing, looked down at me and replied in a cold voice, “I wouldn’t know. Aren’t you going to fly, Makoto?”
“Fly? Where to?”
“To space, obviously, you fool.”
Yashiro sounded exasperated. Her lab coat, slightly too large for her, fluttered in the wind, making her look like a ghost.
“You should have flown alongside that fake alien. Even a dimwit like you could be carried along in the rocket indiscriminately as mere cargo.”
“You certainly made some discrimination there. Besides, well, I did give that some thought.”
But to even worry about that, I would first need a rocket capable of flight. Since I was the one who has been dedicated to building such rockets, if the two of us didn’t exist, it would result in a paradox.
However, having made a promise to my cousin, I was the only one here. Therefore, this was how it must be.
It felt reckless, a dreamlike promise, like attempting to run toward a sky that was far beyond reach. Yet, as years passed, that promise took shape, and now, it became a rocket, ready to take flight.
I will watch it launch from Earth. There was no one waiting for me to return to the apartment I rented. Because of that, I found myself constantly putting returning home on the back burner. I had to wait here so that my cousin didn’t end up the same way. So that she, who had been called an alien for so long, didn’t truly settle on another planet.
“Denpa Onna flying on a Seihuun Rocket?”
Yashiro uttered something cryptic. There was a certain implication in her words, something that more specifically carried the weight of the passing years, and so I remained silent. Hoshimiya Yashiro was truly a mystery from beginning to end.
It was this very person, full of enigmas, who once spoke to me of the wonders of space and guided me all the way to this point.
I wondered what a self-proclaimed alien felt when looking at the view from a rocket that would never take flight.
And I wondered what she would think of the rocket launched tomorrow in search of aliens.
The psychic said nothing, her lab coat simply fluttering in the wind.
The next day, I stood under a clear blue sky. It was a slightly windy day, and the hem of my lab coat danced about. Keeping my hands in my pockets to prevent them from being tossed about by the breeze, I looked up at the rocket that had ascended last night.

I was beyond sleep-deprived, yet strangely, I could not muster a single yawn. My body felt heavy, but my eyes were parched and stinging with a slow, creeping ache. Not a single drop remained of the eye drops I always kept in my lab coat. A pity.
At the very least, it looked like a perfect day for a launch in Japan. It was the kind of sunny May weather that made one miss short sleeves, a day that made one want to head out for a sunbath on the ground rather than fly toward the sky.
It was the last day that my cousin and I would live within the same span of time.
The midday sun poured down upon a continuous expanse of metal plating that seemed to stretch endlessly toward the horizon. The white-painted floor absorbed the light and reflected it back in a pale glare that stung my eyes. My vision was dazzling from both above and below, yet even as I squinted, the overwhelming presence of the rocket remained undiminished. When I looked up at it as a child, I naively thought that once I grew up, this wouldn’t seem like such a great height, but I was wrong.
The wingless mass of metal loomed high above me, like a tower attempting to reach the gods.
“Wh-at-are-you-do-ing-in-a-place-like-th-is?”
I turned around when I heard a strange voice calling out from behind me, accompanied by footsteps that were far too light for metal plating. Clad in what looked like a makeshift spacesuit, as if ready to board a mock rocket at any moment, the figure was none other than the person I had been talking with deep into the night. Wow, it’s been a while.
“You still have that outfit?”
“It-is-my-u-ni-fo-rm.”
Uniform? Ah, her uniform[4]. Where did she get it? What even is that? The sunlight scattered wildly off the helmet’s visor, making it difficult to look directly at it. Yashiro then stepped a little away from me, coming to a halt by my side.
“Whew, it’s hot.”
Yashiro let out a sigh as she removed the helmet with a pop, her speech returning to normal. With the rocket, the spacesuit, and that otherworldly appearance, the three elements combined to make her look like a traveller returned from outer space.
In forty or so years, this might be the kind of crowd we find ourselves welcoming on Earth.
“So, why are you here?”
“Aren’t you watching? The live broadcast of the launch is really picking up right now.”
With a quick motion, she pointed behind her with her thumb. I turned my head just enough to glance back, then shook my head. My hair, which had grown a bit long because I’d been too busy to maintain it, brushed against my face, swaying in the wind.
“Watching the rocket launch like this feels much more immersive.”
After all, the rocket about to be launched was modelled after the hunk of iron that was right in front of us. Since it was purely a matter of appearance, and they weren’t close enough to be called siblings, I suppose… cousins would be more accurate. Much like how my cousin and I shared the same human skeletal structure, and yet we were entirely different in essence and appearance.
“How much longer until lift-off?”
“A few minutes. I saw a countdown on the right side of the screen.”
“I see,” I muttered with a small nod. I glanced over at Yashiro, who was gazing up at the rocket just as I was. She didn’t seem to have any intention of rushing back to the lab. Well, in her case, she’d probably just say something like, “It’s not as if an alien going to space would be anything unusual,” so I decided not to bring that up. Instead, I decided to try telling her a story. It was more of a monologue, or perhaps a memoir; it didn’t really mean much.
“When I was a kid, I was a captain.”
“Hm?”
Yashiro looked at me. I pointed to the top of the rocket. Not the very tip, but the top.
“The top of this rocket. I used to run wild inside it with my cousin, pretending we were going on a trip to space. She was the first officer, and I was the captain. As for why someone as selfish and strong-willed as her would hand the captaincy over to me? She said it was because she didn’t want to bother learning a language if we had to talk to aliens. Apparently, conducting dialogue was the captain’s job.”
I shrugged my shoulders. That same girl was now far more proficient in languages than I was. I wondered how many she could speak. We’ve both spent our lives faithfully trying to keep a promise we made back in the fifth grade.
As for what that truly meant, I’ll have to wait until the rocket returned safely.
It looked like it was going to be a long journey. Though, I certainly wouldn’t be growing weary of the wait.
“Well, to be fair, if we were surrounded by people like you, Yashiro, even talking would be a struggle. Wahaha!” I laughed, joking around. I watched Yashiro closely, expecting a rebuttal, only to find her resting her chin in her hand with a solemn expression. I wondered what she was thinking right now. And I wondered what she had been thinking throughout her entire life. I had been by her side, but to be honest, I had never understood her once.
I slipped my hands into the pockets of my lab coat and looked up at the rocket as if waiting for something, feeling the wind brush against me freely since there was no cover to shield us. During this time, the digital clock inside my mind displayed the time. Naturally, the numbers were slowly ticking down. There was no need to say aloud what would happen once they reached zero. Without knowing the exact time, the moments continued to pass.
Then, as if timing it perfectly with the creaking of the rocket’s various parts in the passing wind…
“Do you know what a silkworm is?”
Suddenly, Yashiro spoke. Silkworm? An insect? My thoughts raced through the connections until I nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I know. They’re used for food on the spacecraft, after all.”
But what was she on about? Was this her response to my sudden remark? While I was busy speculating, Yashiro continued. Light particles seemed to dance and scatter from her bangs, which swayed in the wind.
“They can’t fly on their own, and they can’t survive outdoors without human intervention. And yet, they still undergo metamorphosis. Why do you think that is?”
“…Who knows. Maybe it’s just the natural course of things.”
Just as humans have long yearned for rockets, stars, and the cosmos, only to eventually take flight.
“I spent hundreds of… no, I mean a few years thinking about that very thing, and that was why I helped build rockets.”
Built spacecrafts while thinking about silkworms. I couldn’t help but smile wryly, thinking what a strange person she was, not just in appearance, but in everything else. Then, Yashiro pointed at the rocket, just as I had done moments ago. As if in response, the rocket began to sing.
The supporting steel frames and the aged parts crying out for replacement creaked. It was a lovely rhythmic creak, like a restless child.
“Humans are not much different from silkworms. They cannot fly through the sky on their own, and without rockets they cannot drift through space. They struggle to take flight within their protected environments. Even though they have no idea if anything awaits them in the cosmos once they do. Silkworms are the same. There may be nothing waiting for them even if they succeed in flying. Yet, they emerge from their cocoons with wings. Just as humans foolishly dedicate their entire lives to dreaming of the stars.”
“…………”
“That was why the hope humans held for space must be much like the dreams of silkworms. Not every silkworm wished to fly through the sky. Nor does flying necessarily lead to anything. Yet, as long as they continue to live, it is only natural that they dream of vast, unimaginable worlds.”
The rocket was set to launch now. Yashiro spoke with that implication, naturally guiding my gaze toward the mass of steel towering before us. A dreaming silkworm, flying into the far reaches of space, huh? Surely, in the void of space, we humans were as powerless as silkworms. Just as silkworms couldn’t stand on their own. And yet, still.
“Spacesuits dream of silkworms, I guess.”
I mumbled the words, playing on the title of a book said to have existed long ago[5].
“Yeah. The cocoon waits through the long passage of time, awaiting its emergence.”
With Yashiro’s agreement, the steadily decreasing numbers on the clock all hit zero.
Instinctively, I looked up beyond the rocket, toward the peacefully stretching blue sky. Nothing had changed. The blue sky, born of ultraviolet light, and the migratory clouds drifting on the wind. The rocket, looking as if it might take flight at any moment, remained silent.
But for me, this was the moment of the rocket’s launch.
The rocket that I had launched so innocently in my fantasies was now, in reality, heading for the sky with my cousin aboard. Carrying the dreams and hopes of humanity upon those unreliable shoulders, she was going to meet the aliens.
I tried to recall myself running around my cousin and the rocket. However, no matter how hard I try, I couldn’t. My cousin had already taken flight from this timeline, accelerating into a time of her own.
This was simultaneously a space voyage and the moment she became a time traveller.
During my childhood, all the dreams I had envisioned with pure imagination finally converged and came true.
What remained in my heart was a mixture of pride, exhilaration, and a sense of loneliness, where the wind bit just a little too deep.
“……Kay”
After everything had returned to zero, the clock within me displayed “1”. Then, in the blink of an eye, it became “2”, followed by “3”. The count of seconds did not stop; it continued, endlessly. “Ah,” I breathed, a smile breaking across my face as I understood the meaning.
My time was moving toward a far, far and distant goal. Surely, the target of this count was more than forty years away.
Until the moment I arrive there, my digital clock will keep ticking. No miscounts or irregularities were permitted. It was a span of years for which there was no guarantee of continuity. Even so, I let my thoughts drift toward the dreams I have sent forth.
And I prayed for the emergence of my cousin, wrapped within her cocoon.
I prayed that her wings were more than just mere physical growth.
And then.
I will stay here until she returns to the same flow of time as mine.
In this town, watched over by aliens, alongside the rocket.
A particularly strong gust of wind blew from behind. The hem of my white coat fluttered, and the grounded rocket let out a cry.
I felt as though the wind from the distant rocket’s liftoff had reached all the way here.
“Hey, wouldn’t it be fine to call this the series finale already?”
“I think it’ll go on just a little bit longer.”
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- ↑ Here, neither Makoto nor Yashiro’s names are written in kanji.
- ↑ The “Urashima effect” is how the Japanese call time dilation that comes from travelling at relativistic speeds. The name comes from the folktale Urashima Tarou, a fisherman who, after saving a turtle, was invited to the dragon’s palace. When he came back after a year passed in the palace, he realised to his horror that in reality 300 years had passed.
- ↑ An untranslatable play on words. The name “Meme” is also the root of the adjective memeshii that Yashiro used her the previous sentence, which means “sissy”, “unmanly” or “effeminate”.
- ↑ The reason Makoto is confused here is because the word used seisou that Yashiro used has many other possible meanings.
- ↑ Probably a reference to the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick