Kamisama no Memochou:Volume 4 Chapter 1

Status: Incomplete

Farewell, red-haired alien. Put in lots of love in the rocket that you made— “Rocket Dive” hide/ Hotei Tomoyasu

Chapter 1

When a long-awaited client arrived at the agency, I was having a fierce battle with Alice, and thus did not notice anyone enter.

”You actually wished to bathe my good friends, causing them to suffer the third-most cruelest method of torture in this world! Though I have long known that you are a cold, unjust person, I never thought that it is actually serious till this extent!”

Standing on her bed in the six tsubo room, Alice looked just like Nio as her luscious hair that was like black honey fluttered, while her skin so white that it looked sickly was slightly flushed in anger. Teddy bears, dolphins, kittens, and large quantities of other dolls were collapsed on the sheets. The reason that she was so agitated was just because I asked her if I should wash the dolls. Though she is a self-proclaimed detective, always speaking a huge ton of principles, actually, her personality is as her appearance suggests, that of a vexatious little girl.

”Then what about the second and the first?”

If I seriously answer her complaints, I might continue to be terribly scolded, so I directly changed the topic.

”The second-most cruelest thing to endure is to answer questions by foolish people. The cruelest thing would be to endure the fact that the foolish person is actually my assistant!”

”Alright, I’m sorry. So that you won’t suffer anymore, I’ll just take the ice cream that Min-san made back.”

”Why didn’t you say so earlier.” Alice jumped down from the bed and ran towards me. “You actually kept silent all this time, how despicable.”

”Is this really okay? Min-san said ’Alice will happily dash down from the bed if you use ice cream as bait, and you can use that opportunity to take the dolls and the sheets’. It really turned out as she said.”

”MMNNNNNNNN!”

Alice sat at the edge of the bed, shaking her legs repeatedly while gnashing her teeth. Taking that chance, I placed the cup containing the ice cream into the fridge, taking out a can of Dr. Pepper by the way.

”In any case, my good friends and the sheets are not dirty at all. Look, they are as new as the moon when it was first born.”

”It indeed appears to be so, but since it’s almost summer now, you probably sweated when you were sleeping.”

”If you really don’t believe it, just sniff it and you’ll see.”

I almost dropped the Dr. Pepper that I was about to open onto the floor.

”No…… Wait a minute, what are you talking about?”

”You’re the one who said that they’re dirty, so you have the obligation to prove that they are dirty. Hurry up and prove it!”

Alice stepped on my thigh as I was coincidentally kneeling before the sheets to prevent me from escaping and shoved a huge teddy bear into my face.

”S- Stop that!”

”Just say it, how does it smell like?”

I really couldn’t say something like ’It smells like Alice’. As I fell on my back in near suffocation, my gaze met the sharp, wolf-like eyes above me.

”What the heck are you doing?”

”—Yondaime?”

I immediately sprang up. As the speed when I raised my knees while standing up was too fast, I accidentally toppled Alice, causing her to protest loudly, but I really didn’t have the time to care.

”W- W- When did you arrive? When did you start watching us?”

I couldn’t help but kneel down in front of Yondaime. The leader of the young yakuza gang was clad in clothes for the summer— black, webbed vest on his upper torso that showed skin, and a pair of painted loose denim pants.

”Probably from the time you started to sniff the sheets.”

”I did not sniff the sheets!”

”Though I am not sure what you two are here for, I welcome you to help chase the fussy assistant before me away.” Alice sat on the sheets once again. Two? I turned my attention behind Yondaime and saw a person with slightly dyed hair smiling at me with his pearly teeth.

”Even Hiro-san is here. Y- You saw it as well?”

”Ahh— Yes.”

With a wry smile on his face, Hiro-san walked to Yondaime’s side. He was wearing clothes with a daring style as well, with a chili red T-shirt and a dazzling gold necklace on his neck that would make anyone think that he’s a gigolo on first sight.

”It seemed like you were having fun, so we didn’t want to disturb you.”

”If it seemed so fun, please change places with me!”

”But isn’t that Narumi-kun’s privilege?” What kind of privilege is that! I have to worry about Alice’s baths, wash her clothes, feed her and so on. I would have quitted long ago if I could!

”Just sniffing it doesn’t really matter, but washing my clothes is a definite no. Hiro, it’s the same for you!”

”Erm…… Alice, that isn’t so……”

Hiro-san approached the bed by my side, squatting down by Alice.

”I suggest you don’t let Narumi-kun sniff even the smell of yourself.”

What is this guy talking about? From just now, Yondaime’s gaze that was fierce like that of a wild wolf, and was narrowed so much that it almost pierced through my face. Can we please not continue to discuss this topic?

”Why not? Narumi is already so slow that I cannot let him comprehend with words. What I mean is that I wish to turn the words that I wish to speak of into data, uploading it into his brain after connecting a USB cable to his nostrils.”

”No, think about it. Aren’t the pajamas and sheets things that Alice is always in contact with?”

”Uh huh?”

”So aren’t the dolls like another part of Alice as well?”

”So what?”

”How will you feel if you let Narumi-kun sniff the smell of your skin directly?”

I was completely speechless, while Alice’s face underwent different shades of red, and had the vibrance of a red chili in the end.

”Narumi! You shameless fellow!”

’The shameless one should be you!” And you only realized that after people explained it so clearly to you!?

When I retorted, I was immediately assaulted with numerous cans of Dr. Pepper. Unable to face the attack, I had no other choice but to hide behind Yondaime. Having supernatural reflexes, the wolf slammed all the empty cans away with only one hand.

”Stop playing the fool. Hiro, don’t start a lesson of morals and ethics at this time. I am here for official business.”

”Ahhh, that’s right, I almost forgot.”

Hiro-san answered while pressing on Alice’s shoulder with his hand…… Official business?

”It’s best if it is serious work!” Alice spoke in a furious tone. Steam almost puffed out from her face. “Please continue after chasing that shameless rogue out of my office!”

Why am I scolded to this extent……?

”That’s fine. Yondaime said that he wants to borrow Narumi-kun for awhile. It might take up the whole summer vacation.”

The steam suddenly disappeared from Alice’s face without a trace, while her dancing black hair drooped on the sheets as well.

”…… You wish to borrow Narumi? Why?”

”I spoke of this to you before this. I accepted the job of doing promotion for an indie band.”

Yondaime forcefully pushed me aside and walked into the bedroom to explain.

”At the end of August, they will have a few continuous concerts in Tokyo.”

”Ahh…… Would it be that band? I can’t remember the name for now, but it should be the one whose members are all girls.”

I couldn’t help but interrupt.

”See, Narumi-kun indeed knows of it as well.” Hiro-san approached me. “There are already quite a lot of people discussing this band on the internet now.”

I often saw the Mad Movie that was released as a promotional video on the official website, but since I never heard of the original songs in the first place, it’s really nothing to boast of.

”…… Are you referring to this?”

Alice’s fingers moved quickly on the keyboard, showing the results of her search on one of the monitors that covered the walls. As expected of the NEET detective who holds the massive amount of information floating in the internet sea in her weak hands, she’s absolutely unbeatable if she’s in an online state. I think I watched the video played as well. It was a pv that gives a deep impression to the people viewing it. The female lead singer was strumming a black Gibson Los Paul guitar in the video.

”I never thought that Yondaime would actually accept jobs in the entertainment industry as well. What in the world is happening?”

”Stop talking as if I work because of my interests. This is business.”

Yondaime crossed his arms in displeasure, ramming the back of his head into the wall.

”We can’t earn our livings just by being a delinquent. It’ll be over if we don’t expand our business. I’ve started a new company for event coordination, and I’m going to use this as a stepping stone.”

I couldn’t help but start to listen closely. Yondaime is the king of the NEETs in this city, but his true identity is a true businessman.

”The guys in our gang are completely useless in matters like this, so it’s not enough when I am doing this alone. I’m directly borrowing Hiro, but since the Gardening Club kid is Alice’s only assistant, I’d still have to ask.”

”Well, I understand the reason that you’re borrowing Hiro-san for, but why are you using me as well?”

Hiro-san is really good at coping with girls. If Yondaime wishes to promote the indie band by word, Hiro-san would be the prime candidate. But what about me?

”I’m thinking of doing promotion using the internet and contact with DJs, but there aren’t any other people I know that is good in this.”

”Oh, so that’s why you’re here?”

Indeed, I’m slightly more knowledgeable about public culture. Though there is no match for Alice on the internet, the fact that she doesn’t have any enemies means that she doesn’t have any companions as well. The only person left would be me.

”Does that mean that you wish to dispatch Narumi to various places during the whole summer break?”

”That’s the main gist of it.”

”Don’t joke with me, who will do the chores in my office then?”

Didn’t you just ask people to chase or kick me out of here?

”It isn’t like he wouldn’t come back. Wouldn’t he still be your assistant when school starts?”

”Uuuu……”

It feels like Alice isn’t that quick-witted today, as her opponent kept getting the upper hand.

”Why must you use both Hiro and Narumi? Is it not just an indie band? Even if there is not too much funds, do they not know any cheap event coordinators?”

”The event this time will definitely be a hit, so I’m hoping that a veteran won’t barge in from the start, and let us handle all the promotions.”

Hearing such forceful statements, Hiro-san and I couldn’t help but stare at Yondaime’s face. Though his lips were tightly closed while his eyes were narrowed in a line as usual, it was like there were transparent flames surrounding him, dazzling all of us.

”Why are you so certain that they will be a hit?” Alice asked with her brows furrowed while shaking her head.

”You’ll know when you listen to them. Not the music played on the net, but the recording of a live concert rehearsal.”

After saying that, Yondaime immediately took out something from his pocket and tossed it to Alice. As the sports skills of the girl was equal to zero, of course it’s impossible for her to catch it. Thus, the tiny object hammered on her forehead, dropping onto a pile of dolls after that— it was a USB stick.

”Barbarian! Why did you not just hand it to me?” Alice furiously plugged in the USB stick.

It was not until that moment that day that I noticed the speakers and amplifiers installed in the NEET Detective Agency. When the room was filled with pink noise that was like hot steam, I noticed two huge sound sources at the two sides of the walls covered with black machines. What followed was the strong feedback of the resonance between a Los Paul electric guitar and the Marshal amplifiers.

A feeling as though one was beaten up by music— such a thing really did exist.

There were vibrations that felt as though they were going to gorge out one’s heart. Unclear mumblings turned into dream-like prayers, the singing voice dashed in a vast, endless wilderness. A guitar riff that was cruel at times, and sweetly cuts one’s flesh and body at times.

The music that overwhelmed me that time was something like that.

It was just after noon when Yondaime, Hiro-san and I walked out of the detective agency. The burning sun of the early summer mercilessly roasted the roads between the long buildings.

”Haven’t you planned an outdoor concert or the like? It seems like this summer will have a strong feeling of summer.”

Hiro-san turned around to ask Yondaime while walking down the emergency backstairs.

”Where can we plan them?”

”At the Hibiya theatre, perhaps?”

”Isn’t it a bit too late to reserve the Hibiya theatre?”

The Hibiya Outdoors Theatre is a sacred ground for outdoor concerts. However, since it is only open to the public on weekends, the reservation schedule is so full that we can only use it next year if we book it now.

”Hmmm, that’s a pity. The band really is—“

Hiro-san muttered in a singsong voice.

”Wish I can hear it outdoors…… It would be exhilarating.”

I somewhat understood what Hiro-san meant. Being immersed in that song with our backs to the sun of real summer that has the color of fresh blood, it would probably be a whole three days before we could return to reality. And I finally understood why Yondaime was so resolute about this as well.

Besides, even Alice fell into a silence after listening to the recording of the rehearsal, agreeing to rent me out after that.

The song is the real thing.

”I will be responsible if it is not successful.”

Yondaime shifted his gaze opposite to the railings. They were not words that one can easily speak of.

After that, we walked to the empty space between the buildings below the emergency backstairs and started a tactical meeting after sitting on the beer crates, old tires and gas tanks surrounding a decaying wooden stand. Large amount of steam because of the simmering ramen soup puffed out of the kitchen backdoor, causing the surroundings to become slightly hot and blurry. The summer heat was really overwhelming.

”There is one other thing that I didn’t mention to Alice just now,” Yondaime’s tone suddenly turned heavy. “…… We caught a whiff of dispute. It’s very possible that conflicts will happen.”

”Why?”

”The job was originally taken by other event coordinators, a rotten organization supported by a yakuza gang known as Yanagihara-kai. As they were sloppy with their work, the head of the band broke the contract in a rage and brought the case to me.”

Whoa! That wouldn’t just be a whiff of dispute, thick smoke of battle could already be felt.

”Among the venues that we reserved, one of them can’t be used now. It seems like they’re deliberately looking for trouble.”

”Is that really okay? The flames of battle are already lit.”

”Though Yanagihara-kai isn’t getting involved personally, the situation is still rather unfavorable. That’s why I’m giving you the request.”

Which means, the detective will have to get involved in the most critical moment, is that so?

”If so, won’t telling Alice from the start be more appropriate?”

”If I really did that— disregard Hiro for the moment, it is largely probable that she won’t let me borrow you. That girl worries too much, after all.”

Would she really be that worried? But since the yakuza is involved this time as well, it indeed feels somewhat dangerous……

”I’m not really suited for a job like this as well, but it doesn’t seem like you’re worried about me.”

”No one will be worried of you or have expectations of you. A gigolo should just do as a gigolo does.”

”Fine, fine. Then I’ll just have to poke around for news at the clubs nearby as usual, right?”

”There will be no need for that. You don’t need to go to the shops. Just go look for any woman to find out information. We aren’t clear which type of people knows about the band yet.”

”Oi oi, you’re still at this level though there’s only two months left? Aren’t they going to release an album as well?”

”Didn’t I tell you that I accepted the case recently? It can’t be helped!”

”Erm…… Then what about me?” I couldn’t speak up because of the rapid-fire conversation of the two, so I could only interrupt weakly. Yondaime glared at me.

”Go search for people similar to DJs who has their own websites or are doing a web radio.”

”Seems to be a refined, exhausting job……”

”Let’s talk about your payment before this…… Would a monthly salary be okay?”

”Huh…… Ah, it’s fine.”

”As expected of Yondaime, you plan your finances really carefully. As expected of a person from Kansai.”

”It’s irrelevant to Kansai. It’s just that the concept of money of you NEETs is too bad.”

The others assume that Yondaime comes from a yakuza family, but it is said that his true identity before this was a successor of a prestigious family of businessmen in Osaka. Though he was long chased out of the family, the blood flowing in his veins is still that of a businessman’s.

After hearing the lucrative salary that Yondaime spoke of, I gave him my okay while feeling shocked. Though the two had long wandered out of the back alley, I still sat blankly on the large steel bucket with my head drooped for quite some time.

”Sorry, sorry. It’s a bit late for me to take your orders— Hmm?”

The kitchen backdoor opened, while the short-haired person wearing the cute expression of a deer and her sailor’s uniform for summer who emerged was Ayaka. Along with the steam that flowed out of the kitchen, her black apron fluttered as well.

”Aren’t Hiro-san and Yondaime here?”

”Ahh, yes. They said that they still have work to do, so they already went away.”

”NEETs have work?” That’s right, they have work though they’re obviously NEETs. “In the end, Fujishima-kun is hanging out here as a NEET reserve even though the summer break hasn’t officially started? Do you want to eat anything?”

”Don’t say that I’m a NEET reserve again! And I don’t have any appetite right now.”

”What’s wrong? Ah, I know. You were given a huge scolding by Alice when you wanted to collect her dirty clothes just now, isn’t that right? I’m telling you that there’s a technique for it. Min-san taught me about it before this. The back of Alice’s neck is especially weak. You can just hug her from behind and blow on it, and use the chance to take off her pajamas and sheets. Eh? Fujishima-kun, are you listening?”

”Yes, yes……” That’s assuming I can do something like that!

”Why is it that you seem listless about life in general? It seems more serious than usual.”

”Your statement of life in general is redundant!”

”Yes, that’s right. I’m sorry! It is the truth after all, so it’s fine even if I don’t say it.” Hey! Isn’t that way of putting it way crueler!

”Well, that’s not it…… Ayaka, how much is your hourly salary at Hanamaru Ramen? Is it about the same as me?”

”Hah? What?”

That moment, a tall female walked out after pushing Ayaka aside. With a ponytail and a fierce expression on her face, she wore a gray tank top that showed her firm arms. It was the owner of Hanamaru Ramen, Min-san.

”850 yen. Is other people’s wages any of your concern?”

”W- Why is it 150 yen more than mine?”

”Ehh? You actually have the nerve to ask for the reason? Don’t you remember how many bowls you broke? As I recall, didn’t you once spill a bowl with ramen in it? Will you only remember if I spill hot soup on your head?”

”No, no, no…… I’m sorry.”

”Ah— So it’s because of Fujishima-kun that the apron is so filthy. The stain already seeped in and can’t be removed anymore.”

In a daze, I stared at the apron on Ayaka, whose cheeks were puffed out. The white logo with ‘Hanamaru Ramen’ printed on it was dyed the color of coffee, almost blending in with the surrounding black cloth. As I recall, I spilled the soup about twice……

Sigh, it’s just 150 yen anyways, so it’s no big deal. Besides, the daily salary that Yondaime is going to pay me can almost hire five Ayakas and still have some money left. It was for that reason that I was assailed by a strange sense of emptiness.

However, that might be quite reasonable— Because Yondaime is actually making a large gamble. He said that the starting event coordination was too sloppy, causing the lead singer of the band to fly into a rage, firing the original even coordinator, sending the case directly to Yondaime on the way. Yondaime even helped out with the payment after taking a fancy to their vigor. So I believe the high salary unmatched with my identity should probably be a kind of investment as well. It’s not like the norm, when one gauges how capable you are and pays you how much, but instead, it means that he’s giving you so much money, and that’s why you have to raise your capability and use it on work— the theory would be something like that.

The said lifestyle of ‘daring to risk’ is one that I cannot comprehend in my whole life. When I think about it, I might not even have the rights to be a NEET.

”By the way, did you wash the sheets and dolls for Alice?”

Min-san knocked on my head, dragging me out from my delusions.

”Ah— Sorry. As she flew in a rage just now, I had no other choice but to retreat temporarily.”

”Do you have any self-consciousness? You have no use at all besides tending to Alice’s troublesome needs!”

So sorry for still having the nerve to be alive.

”There’s no such thing! Fujishima-kun is always useful each time the roast pork brined god knows when appears in the fridge, because his stomach can stand the stench.”

So sorry for actually accepting hourly salary as high as 700 yen…… Though I was already fired. Being utterly shamed, I could only stand up silently and walk towards the emergency backstairs once more.

Before having any expectations or being surprised because of Yondaime’s salary, I think it’s better to finish my own work first, because I am an assistant detective.

When I held the railings, I suddenly thought of a critical question—

…… Is washing clothes part of an assistant’s job?